Happiness comes from within

Gloomy

In the morning I listen to "running after You" and that song lifts high my mood.

Then tiredness and weariness worn me out.

I accidently deleted "still" like ages ago and now I listened to it again.

The words still speak.

It seems that the more I try to press in, at times I will lose it and well, Newton's third law comes in.

I thought I am free but not really.

pray hard. I am tired again.

Oh well, if you ask what is the thing that is driving me mad the most...

what else when you are a JC student? ...

was so tired that during math lecture when my teacher was going through permutations... he asked after grouping these few in a unti how many people you still have left...
i was like... no more, because I am going to bomb them.

...

KK. Ha. HKK!? Ha. ok.
This is just a guo du qi.

through it all... You heard that? It sitll reminds me of you dearest.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

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I cherish you

Haha. Oh well... I am so happy that I finally met the crazy people this morning! =) SM was so late la. HMPH but it's okay, I am so gonna go your house to finsh a carton of milk next week! WOO!

I am sorry to make WS waited for one hour then she said "when am I ever angry with you." At the instance, I felt so blessed. Thank you Miss TTTTT. Haha.

Then I set off to see LYNN! WOOSH! Finally... then study... not very effective though cus it's math and RHON, AGAIN, took my notes... oh that is econs.

Just can't imagine this is the 6th year I visit LYNN's house. years... urgg.. so old...

WS is in Belle's school now... Sidah and SM in came school... LYNN has clique 7... I don't have close KSS ppl here sia...

but I am glad to have JieJieRachRhonIdiotEeShannnneSFCMentors!and SAJC being a mission school.

Centre Of My Life - Hillsong

Let my walk speak loud
And my words be true
Let my life be whole
With my eyes on you
Lord I'm stepping out
From the comfort zone
Letting go of me,
Holding onto You

Freedom comes
When I call You Lord
You are Lord my God

You are the centre of it all,
The universe declares in awe
Your majesty
I surrender allI make you
The centre of my life
Lord, I respond with all I am
you placed in me the song
Of heavens melody
Your Majesty
I live to sing Your song

I have found Your peace
It replaces any fear
You have done it all
I can trust in you
So I'm stepping out
From the comfort zone
Letting go of me
Holding onto you

This is your song not mine
It is your song that bring healing to this land
This is your song not mine
It is your song that brings feedom
Freedom comes, when I call you Lord
Freedom comes, when I call you Lord
You are Lord, my God

You are the song
You are the majesty
I live to sing your song
Your majesty
I live to sing Your song

Labels: us

Sunday, April 26, 2009

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3 cheers!

I went to attend Church of Resurrection's guest service today! 3 CHEERS!

The miraculous thing is I didn't feel as awkward as I used to feel each time I go different church, I felt strangely at home.

This week was my most terrible week of the year, even worse than the time I sprained my ankle. I even cried because I was too tired and dying for sleep, that bad. Thank God for His word on Friday and ran with me! Ha. Oh well, yesterday timing was 1516, worst timing I ever had, but still, great! Ah ma still can get GOLD k! Haha.

Thought I will share what service went through just now... should I? wait ar..

RECEIVE WITH JOY AND GROW IN SPIRIT

... I don't know how to share exactly...
- God has given us the ability to generate well
- do not halt what you can give to society
- if you know how to be rich, you will be rich
- the more given to us, we need to learn to be generous

Don't you agree that many rich has a lot but they halt what they can give and keep their riches? It's like limiting what you can do to the society..

There are more, much more...

Pastor also asked us to build each other up, encourage each other etc... then he said something real true.
don't give advices, advices are cheap. give a listening ear... everyone has potential to grow...

Let's empathise, support one another and help each other grow! Yea.

You know in Matthew 25... this man given one talent but bury it... he doesn't has so called -abundance mentality- but has a scarcity mentality... which is what the world has actually... that is you tend to think you will lose everything and you behave in that way and you are actually positioning yourself in failure... which happen to the third man in the parable...

Have abundance mentality, give personal resources to others... even if you are poor, give what you have... and you will have again...

If I am happy to give, then let me.

Don't overdo something that is not you but do something that you are comfortable with. Then I thought surely if what I felt comfortable is wrong, I have faith that God will correct me. Yay.

Labels: He talks to me

Saturday, April 25, 2009

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Teddy bear I think when you really obeyed Jie's instruction to keep to the right... that's the most hilarious thing of the day.

Arh. I have an expandable bottle cannot ar.

I was very unhappy because... put aside the fact that it's not within my control okay...

First, I don't understand how anyone can put other things first instead of listening to a teacher. Doesn't a teacher has the right to command respect and asked for attention from the students? As time goes by and people change, I see more and more students understand that they have choices and the rights to make decisions that decide that future... understand is an overstatement.

You see... they can show disrespect to teachers who cannot teach well or fail to gain our respect. They can refuse and show dissatisfaction over what they disagree with the teachers, without first, putting themselves in humble student position to first try to seek resolution to solve problems between both parties.

I was reminded of what Matthew shared about his daughter... Matthew you mind me sharing here? I hope not. He mentioned that his daughter, knowing she choices, asked for something else to eat that was not on the table. She even goes to the extent of pulling a chair to the fridge to get the food but failed apparently. See, she didn't appreciate what was on her table and plate.

I don't know how to put it. You get what I mean? People nowadays don't appreciate what they have because they know they can have more and the want the best and more of them.

It's not that that kind of want is wrong, but first, who do you think you are such that people has to give you choices so that you can always have the best 'thing'?

Take what is given to you and make the most out of it, if it fails, only when it really can't work out then you seek for other ways. See if from another point, even when you have the best thing of all, and you never make the best out of what you have what's the point of having the best tool in your hand?

That is not even what I think of today and that just flows out now. crap. and raa...

Labels: random

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

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er..

I have no idea what is it in this picture that got my fullest attention to it.

Labels: random

Monday, April 20, 2009

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arh~ canoeing match

. . .

We were supposedly released earlier than 1pm and that permits us some time to go MacRitchie Reservoir to catch the canoeing finals. Rach was so excited la. We cannot imagine how John Wan and Lim Biao row the boat that fast and we were dying to see. Also it will be damn cool for us to be down there to support our classmates la BUT we were late.

Dona, Rach and I went to Mac to get lunch and we ran across the roads while the bus was coming so near us! That Chan was openly eating her burger on the bus la. That bus was so slow even a woman who was carrying a umbrella with Singapore airlines design strolled faster than our bus!

On bus 157 Rach called her friend to found out that they got sliver for K4 500m and gold for K4 1000m. Good right? They beat the nationals ok! Damn cool.. oh well as for the overall ranking...

Arhhh. I really want to see how our classmates row. I hope they don't read my blog. Sometimes Lim Biao and John look so dead in class/school, you should look at that glow on their faces after game man! Gosh what contrast!

Sighs. Wee Ling was there. arh! Ha. I was so gleeful. Haha.. over a girl. =.= Last year I used Rach's phone to take a picture of her and Rach still keeps it!

Oh right! Rach must be very sian diao too that she had to play with a turtle there and the turtle was frightened and ran to the waters. Haha. Oh right! Dona and I were afraid of waters so we didn't dare to even go over that chains fence.

HL: If both of us fell into to water, who will you save first?"
Rach: think for a second then look up What?! Haha, why should I? I can just shout for help right there are so many people here points to the back where the canoeists were at who will jump in to save you! dona and me
Dona: no no no. What will be your first instinct?
Rach: My first instinct will be to shout for help right?!

Haha, something like that and ya so many people there and we both want Rach to save us. ...

Wei Wen, if you still come here, I want to tell you that I received the ODJ! like finally!? Thank God! =))

I really wish that I can do well in so many things and areas in my life. Apprently life isn't so. I can have a lot of problems, problems and not setbacks. This time I have setbacks and I can't seem to handle them properly. purrr

as surely as the sun will rise, You'll come to us. certain as the dawn appears

I may be a moderate one, I may be unfamiliar with the words but one thing for sure, I never stop in this walk.

Labels: school

Friday, April 17, 2009

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people and memories

I have a lot to say... or maybe not.

I saw Joshua today. Joshua Cheong Yong Lek. After what seem like a century, we finally(does finally tells you how longing I was to see him? Hmm, not really...) met again! I was queuing at the bubble tea shop, he walked past and he smiled widely so do I! Then it turns out that he needed a phone to call his friends. =.= Haha no la, he isn't that mean. While waiting for Sok, he accompanied me and we chatted like how we used to in the past! Impressive! Gosh and he made his friends wait for him because he wanted to pei wo wait for Sok. The first phrase that came to my mind was 'how sweet'. Nevertheless, there was something at the back of my mind, you know, that thing but I was too overwhelmed by unexpected meeting that I just talk as usual. Well, it's only right, right?

Then the familiar names like Justin, Kiat all mentioned and we talked about heights again. Those cliché topics we used to crap about still can be used. It's so lame.

Gosh, but I am really elated to see Josh in a way.

In the evening, I saw the name RX. Do you know how sensitive I was to that name? Now, I almost forget how it really sounds like. When I pronounce it, it didn't come out right. It’s not like I forget her existence, it’s more of that impact is the past and that should end. I still wish I could talk to her though because I can never forget snoopy and this girl called Rachel really resembles her.

To my bestie out there, I was reminded of you calling me every night in secondary 1 and your ending line “I will call you later” which never happen. Not only that, I remember hearing your parents’ voice in the background asking if you had done your work. The amazing thing was out main topic was none other than guys. Those days...

Thought of someone today and really wished I could do something, be gracious but I really don’t wish to gather my courage to do because I don’t want to return to the old times. It wouldn’t actually right? Not everyone shares the same fate.

Oh and while having lunch at Mac with Sok, or rather at the instance I refilled chilli sauce, that image of 6 of us at limbang mac with few packets of fries on the tray, coupled with 10+ packets of chilli surfaced. That was like 5 years ago incident? History student don’t reflects in his own history does he?

Labels: random

Sunday, April 12, 2009

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goof oops GOOD FRIDAY

I woke up feeling fresh and light-hearted, then quickly replied my dearest JieJie and wished him happy Good Friday.

Guess what, then Jiejie asked me so what am I going to thank God for. That hit the fantasy image that I always carry. Gosh and Jie is not... you know... ARH.

You know what.. I always thank God for all the good things and all the wonderful feelings and I thank Him only once for my unfortunate incident. I totally forgot, this life is already a blessing.

I watched the videos taken in Prep camp and...

ya.. was I really rude and emo ytd? I didn't mean to k... It's just that when something hit me my first reaction last long and when it takes hours to make sense to me... Well... ya.

Labels: random

Friday, April 10, 2009

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sports day. not about sports

I don't know where to start or how to start.

OH YA HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS HO!

Sports day was really boring. I was telling Shane the cause on my cert of death would be boredom probably because we didn't take part this year. Oh ya, some of them did and they were champs!

Can I be honest with you? B isn't that bad when you thought about it but when you look at the amount of work my group has put in, for me B is unfair. It feels like all our effort is wasted.

Whatever it is, thanks for those who tried to hard to make me laugh and make me feel better. It's just so wonderful to know someone cares. Ya. Thanks for hearing my most negative thoughts and discouraging talks. Those hugs even though I was numb do help. It's just... encouraging. Yea you guys know who you are.=)) Ha, and Samuel ( THE BIRTHDAY BOY TODAY! must mention) had to make me laugh by joking about he will go up and complain about me calling him a *toot* and then he will shut me out of the gate in heaven so that I am there but outside a gate. =.= You know what, I think we should try to avoid those jokes le.. lol. it's getting... out of hand. LOL. Sorry God if You really don't like this, I will stop.

Elsa and I shopped at ABC! WOO! lol. I was so sleepy on bus and was trying so hard to pay attention to her. Then I could see mv over r move here move there to get another equation, I started LOL-ing non-stop and Elsa was a little frightened. Haha. Madness. Lack of sleep really do drives people insane you know....

God, You know what... I am thankful that even when I put studies before You, You give me these friends, even friend whom I don't ever talk to, to remind me of You and made me smile.

Labels: school

Thursday, April 09, 2009

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live con tmr!

TOMORROW IS LIVE CONCERT!!
HOW EXCITING!!!!

Gosh I don't what to blog about. Jie what do you want me to talk about?
exams are bad. friendships are bad. things and home... life is still good because I am still alive... there's always chance to make things right.

After the Pastor shared about sense of fulfilment, I instantly walked back to the class to jot down some thoughts only to realise how sadly one thing that used to sastify me can never do in reality.

I feel like crying over it, I feel like doing something to it but I know I won't because its importance dimmed when compared to another prioty. As much as I hate myself for this, I don't have the motivation to change that fact, not at this point of time.

Sometimes I wonder why we must conform to the society set of rules, why we must work do hard to meet their requirements and so. Is it the Ruler of the one who set these rules? No. Humans' own sets of rules doesn't give us freedom to do things we want in peace but at the fear that someone is out to harm us. Peace never comes in that way.

Passive and inactive.

I wish God will make a way in that area of my life.

Labels: random

Thursday, April 02, 2009

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