I just feel good. First, SU did something in this Phyarticular class and I was overjoyed. =P

Next, in a way or another, I am starting a year spiritually self-consious.

Lastly, I feel God will bring us through.

This is my A levels year, probably the time where I would spent most money on getting tissues. Nonetheless, I am feeling lighthearted, looking forward and believing that my studies will improve.

I should thanks for the retreat camp and my class chalet. Both are totally different but encouraged me in certain areas. It's just all feel so good.

Labels: school

I was at the Costa Sands (Pasir Ris) Chalet for the last 2 days. On Friday, there were Luqman with his about shoulder length twisties hair, Hong Da,Darryl, Alvin with not much noticable changes, Jared who is already 18, LYNN, Klara, Ameera and me.

When I reached there it was like 8 something and we went to have dinner at BK. Friday night was crazy man. They bought drinks containing very minimal of alcohol and a bottle of casberg.

They started off playing drinking version of snake and ladder then another drinking card games. The card games were so wild! They had this particular card telling the players what they had to do if they rolled a particular number. The last player to obey the instruction has to pay a penalty which can get dramatic+hilarious.

Alvin had to kiss Jared for 10 seconds, Jared had to kiss LYNN for 10 seconds too. WALAU, she screamed as thought she was raped or something ok. Damn sharp, high pitched. Urggg. She could have slapped Jared. Hahah.

Darryl is the evil king. Alvin had to do as Darryl instruct him for 60 seconds so Darryl got him to do obsence things!!! YUCK! LOL! I just can't believe them, ranging from taking out clothes to really obsence things. Thankfully I wasn't in the game.

Klara was so unfortunate can? Once she joined the game she had to wear an underwear on her head. As much as it felt disgusting, though it's new male disposable one, it was hilarious when I saw the thing on her head. What else? Hong Da had to eat crackers which was on Jared's lap. Ameera had to kiss Darryl for 10 seconds. Alvin had to go out of the chalet and take off his pants. Ultimate crazy! Yes, I disapprove of such games because in a way I thought I should behave but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy myself there.

After emptying 6 bottles of drinks, (walau did I mention they brought milk for me because I refuse to drink? LOL! My favourites one somemore!) they returned to X Box and card games. Rubbish music man! LOL. All rock and actually, they were nice if the player hit the buttons right on spot but well, when they missed your ears suffer. crap.

Darryl brought Klara, LYNN and I to this shopping mall at 3plus am. Somehow the shopping mall provided very comfotable seats which drew us to our lalalands. Upon being seen by some indian workers, we left and went back to the chalet. It was 6.30am when Jared's phone vibrated. Darryl asked him to wake up, he asked for another 10 mintues. Wow, his 10 mintues was my 30mintues la! And because of him there was no space so I had to sleep outside. Haha, not really because of him only la. =P Alvin slept in the cupboard!

It's only BBQ which we 'became' class rather then group. I AM SO SO ELATED TO SEE ATIQAH!!! We hugged until I almost fall on her and the second hug she almost fell on me! HAHA! COOL!
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A pang of helplessness hit me whenever I think about our company. I am not those who takes the lead and move everyone, I belonged to the cheap labour group. Whenever we face a problem I will look to and wait for the leaders' instructions and ideas, knowing there is hope somewhere. This time, however, I've got very misleading signs that are telling me, I can't salvage anything. It just suck when you are passionate for this company but knowing that you are now an useless instrument. Is it because we are acting on our own instincts very often that now, our instinct is negative resulting in controlling and holding us back from what we can do and achieve?

I certainly believe that the God placed us in the authority positions so that we can be good stewards and help others. What do you think? you whom every action affects the company, you whom behavious affect the way the girls feel.

I feel like pushing all the blame but I know I was in the fault too. I just want to know, what are you thinking of now.

When someone has a burning desire in him, you can sense and see by how the person turn or move his muscle. I don't see that from you yet.

Labels: went out

When my parents and I were watching this TV show our big day on Channel 8, my mum made a lot of 'noise'. The festival was celebrated by the Phillipines relating to Christianity. Her accusing words were all wrong and I really want to tell her so much it's about transorming lifes and not about God being d-o-g instead.

It just irritates me when her friends apparently go to church but their lifes are pretty screwed.

Apparently I realise my mum's heart is hardened is not the obstacle, it's the lack of knowledge she has about Christianity that results in her absolute disbelief.

I shall pray for no more softeners but a righteous friend to be with her.

Labels: He talks to me

Wei Wen was aching just now and she asked me why I did not feel aches. The answer is it came later. Ouch. Now my leg hurts here and there I just simply don't even feel like stirring.

The camp was great!

I am really sorry okay, if I looked like I did not wish to talk to anyone in SFC. Deep down I really wish to build deeper friendships. It's just that the camp was the only free time I can spend with God knowing that no one is going to shout at me and so. That time is so precious!

There is nothing to hide from God's eyes. I don't deny I feel left out when the SFC chat and thus dismishing my wish to step in deeper. Our lifestyles are totally different and topics which I can discuss probably will just wash into the drain. No negative feelings, what I am trying to say is, my topics.. I believe it crashes with Christians' lifestyle. Or rather, I am just embarassaed to tell you I share the worldviews.

I was upset that SFC was not as close as how I see in a church which I wanted so much as SFC is my only church. Ohhh I admit that here. No, I was silly to wish for people here to behave as though they know each other for years. Nonetheless, in this camp, I think God manage to help me understand the relationships in SFC better and help me be joyful of who they are. I thank God for everyone of them.

This camp which only participants are the mentors, Mr Yit, Mr Hu and the SFC members actually is an eye opener. Haha. Another reason why I was so quiet is I was in observing mode. Everything felt so different, I seem to see them in totally different views that are good, and sweet.

There was no anger or resentment, a surprise to me.

I've learnt a lot and I like Matthew's cranki-ness you know! LOL! No wait, I must say, I loathe that 50-push ups on tar floor carpark. Dann!

3.5km in 20mintues. Washed each other's feets using sulphur soap. There are a lot of cool things la huh. Let's just say...

God helped the camp exco to put in a lof of effort and the camp was awesome. Plus, the campers and so... =)

Oh right. I think I am really camera shy. Almost everyone cam-whores, last year my PW members manage to take 100 over pictures of me trying to hide+unglam within 3-4 hours. This year, I wanted so much to hide from Theodore who was the camera man. -.- Not to mention, LYNN has always wants me to join her in her memories-stay-still in her camera in the last few years. I bet out of her so many close/best/sweet/honeys friends, she has least of my pictures. lol.

"Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would she promise him her exclusive attention?"
Quoted from I kiss dating goodbye

Thank Eve for that book, I hope it works.

Labels: SFC

Oh wow, I bet I will change this blogskin within next 3 months. It's so plain-look!

Haha. I can't help but really go oooo arrrr at the marvellous fireworks show at marina. though I watch it on tv Oh well...

No more SIMS until I buy one myself. Haha Sok, I tried so hard to hide it from my view that I put it somewhere out of my reach. I need to climb a chair to get it. No worries, it's under safe protection. LOL.

For once, I have no promises to myself in a new year. I am looking forward until end of MSAs actually. I can't seem to see further than that. LOL. No, can make it.

I found this brown cover book, a exercise book from West View which was used for ting xie initially but it ended up become my once a few months/years journal. One of the dates recorded was 1/1/05 and I was well, overjoyed about the 05 year, looking forward with 2B and out beloved Mr Heng LOL.

Writing on every odd pages, I used 3 pages that time. This year, I wrote 3 lines. Oh no doubt, all in chinese words, with one in hanyupinyin.

I should give myself some slack.
Oh and stop acting in ingratiating manner. I do you know, although I am sincere it is still... very fake.

Ok new year new year new year!

I watched white chick yesterday.


Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I know the song but never know the lyrics was so... cool.

Labels: random