Happiness comes from within

I am strength. funny ar.

You are Strength

Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.

This is a card of courage and energy. It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it. Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card 8 instead of Strength. With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

You are The Tower

Ambition, fighting, war, courage. Destruction, danger, fall, ruin.

The Tower represents war, destruction, but also spiritual renewal. Plans are disrupted. Your views and ideas will change as a result.

The Tower is a card about war, a war between the structures of lies and the lightning flash of truth. The Tower stands for "false concepts and institutions that we take for real." You have been shaken up; blinded by a shocking revelation. It sometimes takes that to see a truth that one refuses to see. Or to bring down beliefs that are so well constructed. What's most important to remember is that the tearing down of this structure, however painful, makes room for something new to be built.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Both, seems to tell me that I am a card to beware of. HA! wonderful... so BEWARE! haha!

Labels: quizs

Sunday, June 29, 2008

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tagged by RACHEL!!!

as requested from Rachel and... should I follow what she did?

RACHEL!!! DOING THIS FOR YOU!

(rofl)

1) Why am I doing this?
because I am kind enough to entertain Rach. HAHA!

2) Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?
to the police station and check if the ticket is legal.
and then to the destination the ticket can bring me to.

3) What's your favourite thing to do?
to laugh and smile for no reason. and I guess drug addict will say talk to herself lols!

4) Do you think money can buy happiness?
define happiness.

5) If you have one dream to come true, what will it be?
ha for them to re-write their stories.

6) Do you believe you can survive without money?
no. but depends on the amount of money too.

7) Have you ever played an instrument?
recorder! LOL! triangle! fine, forget about those.

8) If you win $1million, what will you do?
haha, just had a brief discussion with ME abt tt.
spend on the things I want first.
hold on to it for a few months. give charity.
but I think realistically, let my parents decide bah. but I will still want to get something for my loved ones. dann. one million is too much!
lols, or give my parents ask them disown me and let me go chruch. LOL! (INSANE)

9) What do you think of yourself?
haha, if she is a devil, I am an angel. just that we exchanged wings. so ya, haha, intepret it yourself.

10) List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
brings joy wherever she goes
motivated
filled with LOVE =)

11) What makes you happy?
lol. anything excluding negative factors of course
that reminds me I saw a boy eating sweet in the train from the package which his mum was holding
and his mum reminded him not to eat too much
AND THAT REMINDS ME OF MAY EE! haha!

12) What type of person you hate the most?
hate is a strong word. but my answer is one and only... people who commits adultry, haaaa.

13) Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
Oh my gosh, Pastor Ben asked that and I haven't penned down my thoughts yet!
but maybe mugging in water tech lab/eviron lab/ or maybe preparing end-of-year chinese/maths paper. who knows?

14) If you have a superpower, what will it be?
Electricity! dots. eh that can save me loads of money

15) What do you think is the most important in your life?
oxygen and God for He is love

16) If it's the end of the world, what will be your last wish?
a new start of the world right after that

17) If you have a chance to choose, will you want to go back in time? When will it be?
I don't think I want to. Maybe...
8june2006
and 7june where I will change my words and plans

18) What can trigger you to do somthing which you always tell yourself you can't?
if I see that my friend can, I can. I suppose? haha oh ya, encouragement.

19) Are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like him/her?
I almost did once for a bet in MI. haha cus that wasn serious. but, no. I don't. eh wait, like ar.. can! haha, I like DA JIE, I like teddy, I like... and the list goes on
I deliberately ignore the meaning of the qns. HA.

20) What's your next aim?
finish my JC life, with fun. laughter. peace and joy.
don't you miss that, for fun. laughter. peace and joy. haha.

Instruction: Remove 1 question from above, and add in your own personal question, make it a total of 20 question, then tag 8 people in your list. List them out and end this post. Notify them in their chatter box that he/she was tagged to do this quiz.

8 but Rach tagged 6! haha
1)ah eeeeeeee (wait, I can't tag her!)
2)teddy
3)jeremy
4)LYNN
5)SOK
6)sHAron
7)sharon
8)shida!!!!

right. end of the thing le.. finally.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOUs!

Haha. Nothing serious actually. Moreover, I can't bear the thought of telling yous face-to-face.

I think a lot yesterday, as usual, and the things happened in me just slowly revealed themselves after they are done. Recently, I thought the phrase stand in that person's shoes is impossible and no matter how hard I tried, I can't seem to figure out the and pick the exact emotion that you are having. Despite so, I am unshielded from the impacts of listening and messing my mind to stand in your shoes. I am frightened. I have no wish to be in the stituations that you are in. The more when things at home have provoke the instint in me to keep myself from hurt in all means, at all times.

Do you realise that? I doubt so. For all I know, I have never expected it, although it makes perfect sense. I am easily influenced.

Forget about all those. Great news, I might have a new GB member who was in GB. LOL. =)) so dann happy. haiya, later if she were to change her mind, PROOF, all gone again. sheesh.

oh ya, haha, teddy bear in person, aka you! LOL!

I tried to study chem yesterday... 2 qns and darkness began to envelop my world...
was thinking of taking air pistol... all words all thoughts but no actions.
maybe after As..

Labels: quizs, us

Saturday, June 28, 2008

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oozing

I am quite sad actually because I just changed my hotmail password after 4 years, 4months, and 2 days. lol, no worries I didn't actually recored the dates ya. Haha.

Ok, let's don't make this a draft. I don't think changing myself from a person who always expose her inner feelings to someone who hides all the way is something good.

The interview turns out more like a sharing section for me. Haha and the teachers were encouraging me to look for them whenever I want to. They didn't ask me the questions which they posted to others like what leadership position will you like to have or what do you look in a leader. I can't deny that I want to be in the exco, in fact the first time I signed up SFC as CCA, I want to be a leader. Nonetheless, for the fact that I have no experience in serving God in church, my opporttunity is forsaken. This is a statement before we know the result but I think it's explicit enough. (sorry, forsaken is a strong word, it's 'overstatement'.)

On the long way back to the bus-stop then it hit me again that ha, no wonder I had been coming up with this line that Your position, be it leader or president or even just a member doesn't matter or show how good you are, most importantly is whether you play your role well. Ha, I don't like God. Haha! Why must He make me so understanding? LOL.

Nevertheless, after years of holding leadership postitions, which started as early as primary one, if I don't have one here, I will feel so awkward like I am of no use le. haha, that mindset will be gone.

One thing at least, I am such an encouragement for SFC.
and I didn't tell them one thing that has always been in my mind
serve God.
but haha, I just tell them that it was a mean to deepen my relationship which is true.

Whatever the result, I will still be faithful. Let not desire blind my eyes.
=)

Next!
haha.

What was I talking about in last few drafts?

Oh well, BE OPEN. I was upset about someone's life who, well, may not be as affected as it seems because she is not one to show her weakness, but she is. It's makes 10% sense. And once again I can't stand in her shoes. The worse thing was that my selfishness acts up, such that I was unhappy that she may not try to stand in my point of view before. If I were to be soo affected like her, I am sure she will try all means, and maybe let time heals but surely, it will always be in her mind. Likewise, it's on my mind.

The selfish me says
now if she still treats me as her friend, she should not let me worry and get upset with her

bad eh. Ha but I am scared she will choose to hide it from me. THAT IS WORSE.
so... yesterday I just rant. all I know is loving your friend, is,

Yupp and Physics test was, negatively affecting me. put it that way...

and yesterday I scared DA JIE at orchard's rd street by slapping his back. I practically bleached his face into white sheet. Haha...

sniff sniff.
haha! so glad that I know Da Jie.

and I saw a big teddy bear at TAKA, not the biggest one I ever seen, but because I have known Teddy bear in person(pun) teddy bears seem so... teddddy dy, Haha!

and I wanted to hug one big one to cry like a little girl.

i think one thing that I can never change is, the little girl in me. dann. Haha.

can't be little brother le, xiao didi. haha!

The song that I have been composing is now left to God's fingers. At least, I know it's different song of life,life will not be like those which only comes true under author's pen.

loads of loves, as always

Friday, June 27, 2008

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finally a post

I did so many drafts!
and a lot blogthings on food.
and this is the best!

You Are Italian Food

Comforting yet overwhelming.
People love you, but sometimes you're just too much.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

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loser in the game

SOK!

I am a loser in the game! hint*hint*

you get it don't you. No I haven't done anything which you will flare over yet but I find myself a loser. It sssssuuuccck. Try picture peanut saying that.... sssuuuuucccck.

ok that cheers me up. =D

life sssssuuuuucccck. dann I am using that word in front of you! Haha! What a bad influence sister I am! Haha. life sssssuuuuck. I miss peanut... sobs! and the terrorist who says I am linsay lohan!

HAHA!

a joke.

two buns in a stove
one bun: Gosh this heat is killing me
the other bun: OH GOD, a TALKING BUN!

LOL. saw it somewhere. can't credit the person. toobad.

Monday, June 23, 2008

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randdd

in love with dann song. haha

Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change what's been and gone

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Just take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

We're all of us stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

Stop crying your heart out (x3)

by Oasis -Stop crying your heart out

I'm in love with the lyrics! Hahaha. and just now keep looking at kiki's pictures. haha. dots. dots.
Dann. stars. hahaha. T.T

oh ya it's Hebrew 10:25 and I have loved you with everlasting love and drawn you with loving kindness.

ma's a lit bit scary today and I hid away by sleeping. lols. Yin liao.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

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Kiki Invasion

open and closed

As I start to blog, open the truth door...

I don't want to read that blog...
I don't want.

I mistreat you in the past and I am sorry! that sense of guilt never dies out in fact it burns each time I see you.

Now everything I do I am scared that I will think worse of you for nothing...

And now I always feel that you deserved more than what I gave.

I don't dare to ask for your forgiveness I don't even know if you remember or if it means nothing now but I never know!

I am feeling so horrible I still don't dare to really give it all.

I am scared you will reject me not because you don't want it but it just happens that our character crashes.

cus I belongs to the seriousness-come-first person and I can't be as cheerful as you may seem.

I just want to say I am sorry for everything. And since I decided to be truthful...
I was jealous of you... for having so many friends
I was jealous of you for being able to carry a smile everywhere you go
I was jealous to see many people treasure you so much
I was still angered by the guys who scolded me because of you
I was jealous of seeing you in a happy family like you will never understand a character born in my family

and everything puts together... you seem so unreal to me.

and that was all in the past.

we left them all back but it lingers in my mind.

let me close the truth door.

Monday, June 16, 2008

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Shock

I was really shocked when I read those tags again. Her birthday falls on 9 r 8 july? 8 right?! RIGHT?! I am really frightened now cus in her profile she put 9 july and that scares the hell out of me!

God, my heart jumped up to my mouth.

You know what... I actually know her IC and I remembered it. There are times I tried on National Library search engine yea and it's no longer registered.

haha...?

8 july, a week after Justin. I remembered that. crystal clear.

And Boy boy's birthday is NCC day!

crystal clear.

haha, LYNN so actually you know 2 crystals... of totally different character

and I know 3 crystals. haha.

lost it. I usually put my endline as that and I am going to do it again. Actually I don't remember the exact scene but I remember I was real close up and put all focus on what she was trying to say and decipher her handsigns...

Haha... HAHA.

I like this line...

'Time passes, there is no way we can hold it back. Why then do thoughts linger long after everything is gone?' - Ryokan

I am going to be very chhiiiina

不记得那时有多疼
只记得那时眼泪常流
不记得当时的画面
只记得当时想把你的样子烙印在我心里

很失落，很后悔
人们常把这句话挂在嘴边
不肯低头的我不以为然
但是

人，在分离时才懂得珍惜
但一切都太迟了

真可笑
有些事一定会发生但人不会去想那么多
一旦发生了会想个不停
莫名其妙！

我可是想到一点也不累，
只是。。。

and I was once hate it because I knew she didn want ppl to know anything but ya, here I am talking about everything. Haha! haha...

I am sorry for being such a unloyal friend.

__: a l w a y s o n m y m I n d :__

Sunday, June 15, 2008

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random post4

all stressed up

Yesterday was screwed.

I slept at 6am after replying James and woke up at 10 to go Diocese centre to study. My eyes were stuck to the book right after I stepped into the LRT.

And I continued doing that until 3plus. swtich to maths. And I can't slove any Inequalities qns. Then I decided to leave that place at 5plus and admit to my seniors, YES I WAS PUSHING MYSELF REAL HARD.

argg.

And I got home to sleep, not really... but ya

I've been throwing tissues all over. Haha! Bad flu! DANN! I even resolt to get tissues from the toilet la!

And I keep praying. I am so scared that it will end up like that time when I had History Os and Phy and I had high fever. And He answered with a NO.

What a pain.

That freaking diary must be eaten up by my mum and I had to use the book which my dearest JEANIE, WANWAN and WS wrote crap in... haha. And was back to the emo self in sec2 according to WS. haha if she reads this, NO I didn't DO, I just thought of doing but... I didn't ok! ya.

And I realised I am stressed for these...
I can't be a good DI, I can't be a good senior, I can't be a good student, I can't be a good daugther.

WTH. WHy am I putting for much stress on myself?!
And I slept for 12 hours straight.

feeling better now but partly because... I rejected to help the other company to teach their girls stage2&3. especially when I myself can't do slow march properly. I am not as disiplined and strict as my friends in drills. If I am too srtict I will be carried away and that's it. I can't throw 50th company's face away la...

and I haven take out that DI badge. still don't think I deserve it.

MY GOSH. I THINK I am so much more than SOK in going after this perfect thing. lols.

And my MAN said it all..

you are TOO much.

and we both LOL.

haha. Yea, haha that is something real true and I thought nobody realise! hahaha.

when you are enthu, you are TOO high
when you are sad, you get TOO emo

lols

and when I love
when I strive for perfection

and I want to be good christian.

all the dann stress I put on myself.

DUMB.

kk. I wish WS all the best. It's the second day of PBB camp la... and that reminded me... I feel so touched when... the other 3 were looking for my bible cos I lost it... and it meant a lot because RX used it before. haha. I gave up and was thinking of crying in the domm(shucks SM how do you spell that?) but they went to knock on every door. haha...

so touched.

WS jiayou k! and thanks for not replying huh. qian bian de.

and thank goodness if I go for that camp I wonder where will I be at now. will be so freaking stressed up. haywire

and to destress, I played sakura poka cards! LOL who got me that ar... beatrice and sze sze right. lols.

SIGHS. yea and I decided. ya, I feel nothing. so empty. haha. just now how to put it in words.
loves anything related to sun. haha. DANN. lol. but come to think of it when I thank God for the natural things He made, I usu first thank Him for the Sun for it's warmth and magnificent beauty which awed me during sunset.

Friday, June 13, 2008

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Tagged by jeremy

A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B. Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person who they were tagged by.Continue this game by sending it to other people.
(LAME)

1. What do you think an ideal best friend should be like?
Ideal molecules? Haha always in random motion and has negligible vol and intermolecular forces. Seriously... must be like LYNN and SOK cus they always call each other FBFF. so they know la

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
that (pause) I may have one last chance to take photo where 6 of us are there

3. Who's life would you want to takeaway most?
chicken? I need to eat it! haha (oh shouldn' it be whose why who's?)

4. What would you do with a billion bucks?
give away la. but may I keep some to get something?

5. Are you happy with life?
Currently no... haha but yea for the fact that I know He has been faithful! and ya, it's impossible not to be happy when you are out of so many who are face abortion.

6. If you were going to die in 5 minutes time, and you have only enough time to say goodbye to 10 people, who would they be?
lol. why don't just let me die peacefully. Can I say cya instead of Goodbye? LOL. I think it's more like they want to tell me rather than hearing me talk la... but obvious la. more than 10. I busy people. hahah

7. Can you whistle?
ya.

8. Do you like going to school?
YES! always a second home... maybe SA er... will be!

9. What kind of person are you?
lols. just got my testimonial. so I know myself BETTER. LOL. so unique that you can't find anyone to sub Hui Ling in your life.

10. If the person you like secretly is already attached, what would you do?
Don't bother. lols. not in order, depends on who is it. tell: LYNN, SOK, WS then will add on SM, MayEe

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years' time?
Dann. Pastor Ben asked this and I haven't do my reflection! but wait tdy 12/6... I should be preparing for EOY papers or prepare to have meet up with my little kids. or school meetings. wa sian. and holiday with family

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Reporters. I need them for GP.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
lol. if I am a IT fool, he is a IT genius for winning in international comp somemore

14. Would you rather be single but rich or married but poor?
I will... yupp. the answer is in the wind, catch it. haha

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
try to catch what song has I set for alarm. today's is avril's song.

16. What does your favourite kind of shower smells like?
never thought of it!

17. How would you rate the perfection of your life now?
10 and you know why? cus nobody is perfect and joshua is nobody so ya. LOL! lame! but ok ya, 8. perfection is in my eyes but I am not perfect... so ya 9

18. Who would you never wanna lose?
anyone who is born. hello like each one body you see, don't you feel so sad? like what memories has this person leave for others etc... won't you think of them?

haha tag list >LYNN.SOK.HIPPO.MAYEE.DAJIE.sHAron.drug addict?don't want la. lols. YES. SY! haha. and no eye-dear.

and as I read my BELOVED teacher's blog... haha, I am utterly disappointed by myself. cus I didn't even fight.

I am exhausted and lost the motivation. I even set the picture I took at Sok's house as my screensaver because that picture always hits me with pang of emotions, guilt and sadness.
and I lose it all today when I couldn't teach my juniors properly and when I found out today is the only section,I regret it.

and... I just wrote something long for my beloved teacher. haha... hope the poor range of words encourages her... cus

I am feeling likewise.

Labels: quizs

Thursday, June 12, 2008

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once again

Sok(who rushed right aft her camp) HIPPO(well, HIPPO just can't stand straight! =P) and LYNN the cam whore pro. LOL. I should have sat on her bag la! so tired of squating!

The best picture of all. Seriously when can I pull that NETTE out someday?!?! raa raa.

I HATE LYNN.yea I hate her soooo much.

for being good at words and... refreshing my memories

and...

yea when I asked if you need some time... I don't know how you are feeling since it's like...
I wonder if you will go home and cry
or you will feel calm
I have no idea but just to let you know
all of us are here yea you can cry out to us.
if you feel that you want to be alone yea sure. no problem with that.
but dearest, do take care for I treasure you much more but never know how to express, just wish that you will be fine.
and ya.. we are there.

purity and innnocence

The white cross on the badge represents the saving grace of His love... is it? and purity etc...

and I wish the roses will blossom once you touch it when we left.

sometimes it's really tempting to go back to the post on the other blog...
sometimes I just wonder how I handled it so properly like...
I just manage it...

And do you realise that time you had camp and you came on the second day?
And I was there for the 2nd time?
And once again you are from camp again?

I don't remember if I posted about it but I rememberd...
sitting beside WS at the gallery during break for SYF training with all UGs..
and we said something...
looking at the sheer stretch of heaven...

I am proud to say this time my legs ain't the darkest. haha! I think HIPPO will KILL me for doing this! =P wait... no mine is black while hers is brown. oh dann! hahah

and I wished they are out of the sea... wiping off the salt water that sting on their scars...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

+ + +

freezing pencil

scary

OH MY GOSH! I MISS SFC!!!

It’s has been barely a week since I last saw them and it kills me!

After I’d done my QT, I wanted to do reflection and as I opened my journal the things inside fell off as usual. The yellow paper never fails to catch my attention and I was so excited to read it.

And once again I know I have so many supports behind me! Haha!

And I feel bad not doing anything. I guess I am going to do something.

Haha! Get some time!!!

Sometimes, disobeying mum seems more frightening than disobeying God. Even dad will think so but well, currently...

Haha, why does my mum thinks that I will be more happier with her living around quarrelling with dad daily rather than living without a mum? Lols. It’s really... funny. Just that it’s a stinging ticklish feeling. WHATEVER. =)

Right.

No, not right. Everything seems out of place today, even our brains. Haha. We brought white roses at a price of 2bucks each stalk. And remembering how Daddy used to break the stems for some places, we got LYNN to break them. Well, laughs out loud.

OH YA, Nette’s message was funny. Yea I mean YA I KNOW IT’S that but I laugh when I see the next line after the name of the place. It’s not supposed to be funny but... ya, it’s just crazy mind of mine perhaps.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I JUST REALISE IT HAD BEEN AGES SINCE I LAST HEAR HER VOICE! WOO!

Haha. And I saw Jeanie again. =)

DAPH DAPH. Haha, her name never fails to linger in my mind once I catch a glimpse of it. DAPH DAPH DAPH DAPH DAPHNE.

Yea, strong evidence of us not being is our right mind was that hitchhike. Yea trust me. We hitchhike on this man who is in his mid-fifties/forties big SLIVER car without doing the following...

1.check out the plate no
2.take out camera capture his face
3.ask where he is going
4.think of not taking at all

All we did was taking his suggestion of bringing us to the MRT station and went into his car just like THAT! Despite the black face and nudges I got from sok... haha

AND THE NEXT THING HIPPO, SOK and I did was vigorously hitting the buttons on our phones. LYNN at the most left end looked at us and I wanted to LOL but... ya. We try our best to remain silent in case we shout for help.

HIPPO on my left show me what she typed. What if he rapes us ltr? (Something like that)
Sok on my right whisper what if he sends us and sell us?

LOL!!! They were so paranoid! Haha. Actually I was the first one who finished typing and it’s scary. Haha

And the man was demented bah. IN THAT PLACE ISN’T IT OBVOIUS THE REASON WHY WE ARE THERE?

On the journey he asked why you girls go to such a place? For project ar? Or go catch spiders?
DOTS DOTS DOTS!!!

My gosh!

Seriously... I am dumbfounded.

The reason why I wasn’t afraid was... I thought he might be father of someone and ya...
YA

And on the train we began to reflect upon our actions as realise we may be demented in that moment too. HAHA! And LYNN kept saying she would be ready to fight and HIPPO said LYNN would have screamed.

And LYNN thought she would come out with a string of vulgarities!! Which I think is 100% true! HAHA! DAMM FUNNY!

And IS it hippo? Haha who said that we got 4 people we could have attack him. LOL!
And a question why didn’t that man think so.
LOL!

It was totally awkward when the man offered us medical oil because he thought we had been feeding mosquitoes and we instantly rejected him in different chorus. LOL!

I didn’t feel what I ought to, but instead it deems to me as a normal meeting and to catch up with each other. Doesn’t that seems sad? As in I didn’t detect any hint of negative feelings at all! AT ALL! Seriously... and it’s a tendency for me wanting to be drawn into the blackness but I just can’t find anyone to bring me down. Not even SA TAN. LOL. As in... ya!

I have no idea when it hit me that this day is really a day of joy because she went home! I take that for real! I don’t know whether I should thank God to laugh or to cry about it. I am just... awed.

Nevertheless, I could still sense. The grief still lingers among our presence. For once, I felt so left out. I couldn’t join them in grief but just be so normal.

And I was indifferent. I was dumb today. I thought it was obvious that I couldn’t give enthusiastic response to Sok’s interesting recount of her camp. That girl was really silly and funny la! about her that thing and falling flat... ha SERIOUSLY FUNNY. Haha. =X

I only know that...I didn't want to speak... at all.

I am here trying my utmost best to catch anything I did to show that I was sad.

WHY?
Because... I am afraid.
I cried my heart out, losing breathe and within an hour, I was all calm.
And after CALIN MDM!!! ‘s pushing... yea.
History repeats itself.
Why oh why do I have different reactions each time but with the similar emotions flowing in the blood and can never be tangible and never be stopped and never be taken out of my life.
How dearest angel... have you left me... us... fragile and defenceless to the waves of emotions hitting us.
I love you forever 4th sister! See you in our home! Singing the song in full the next time I see you.

And now, at this time, I wished that you are here, and I can say it out, I LOVE YOU. and knowing it goes into your ears.
MY GOSH! NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I SAY I LOVE YOU YOU CAN'T HEAR!
But I know you do. God knows. Heavenly Father...
and I am going to eat. Haha! cus ya...
if you have no idea. I get hungry when I am sad.
PLUS I yawn when I am nervous.
I have no idea why I am writing all these now for people to know... maybe something unique they can leave when they come to my funeral someday. LOL!

and that time I admit something! I wanted a pink coffin in the past! MY GOSH! that's freaking EW. Haha!

Pardon me dear people.
I have decided not to give love without knowing that person enough le. Sorry Lord, but come to think of it as creator You know them isn't it then You love them? Ohdear... question for follow up.

TAKE CARE EVELYN! may God sustain you all the way.
and SFC people.

OH DANN! WHY EVERYTIME I WANT TO END I WILL REMEMBER SOMETHING?! I EVEN POSTED JUST NOW AND oops, now editing

anyway want to emphasize that HIPPO is always interested in dirty things.
And SOK and I thought her the song that Shane sang to me in the camp. LOL. cus HIPPO was soooo interested. haha that she typed in her phone to remember...

If I were a fisherman's son
and I were asked to marry,
I would marry a fisherman's daughter
more than anyone.
(and shane will give this look and says AND YOU KNOW WHY?)
cos she can fish and I can fish
then we can fish together.
in the middle of the night,
fishing - --
LOL. and you sub them with diff jobs.
vampire(suck)
carpenter (s word again)
etc

HAHA I AM going to sing to the class. =D
maybe. not eating le. cus I am happy again. DOTS. but am hungry!

Monday, June 09, 2008

+ + +

meeting the unfaithful MAN

Yes I met LYNN le! Haha. And I am seeing her tomorrow. How boring. Why do I meet people in consecutive days?

Let's see, oh maybe not! I met WS on tuesday and then SM, WS and Belle on thursday. And after that, WS and SM and I on friday night followed by sat morning! And Sunday and tomorrow for LYNN! and tomorrow with the sisters! woots!

And on Tuesday I will be out with PW group. Great.

I have not been spending time doing what I should do.

oh it's wednesday.

MAN and I went to causeway, then back to Lot 1.

I got 2 shirts. I wanted casual shirts and you know LYNN's casual is like... Haha. but it's good shopping with her. I MISS HER AROUND! but oh well.

Seriously our negotiation is pathetic.

She chose to meet me at 2pm initially. AND SHE FORGOT. She smsed again and asked if we were meeting for lunch. No. so delay to 3pm. And next she told me that she would be late so... 4plus we met.

Dots.

Then we negotiated about dinner.

After mango ice kachang.

She was full and wanted dinner at 9.

She asked me ok or not.

I replied cannot la so late

And she kept wanting 9pm! LOL! and I wanted 8pm!!!

8.30 ok

K. deal.

just 30 minutes difference! lol!

We went to New York and had dinner. well, she kept wanting SINFUL stuffs. and oh well, I just finish the strawberry with the ho melted choc just like tt.

can't feel anything sweet about it.

in fact I told LYNN

I was thinking why must I eat this with you.

haha!

the dessert was really sweettt but it's MAN that I am eating with and all my mind I was thinking how do we friy banana during street market.

lols cus in the dessert there was fried and it was sooooo nice!

And seriously, LYNN CMI for maths.

LYNN told me to pay this much. After we paid, she wanted to take pictures with me. We did and she went further in asking me to pose as though I want to kiss. ANd I was like

HUH. Kiss you ar?

LOL!

NO LA! As in face the camera la!

her face was dammn funny when she told me that. haha.

While we were trying to get the shot taken, a waitress came to us and told us we under-paid.

Seriously, how awkward can that be?

and I heard DIDI is tanner. like oh my gosh?! haha

As the last one creeps out of my life, another steps in.

That another is a heartbreaker.

Despite knowing that second will come regardless of anything, I deceive myself that the time has not come and in fact it's actually just another day in anyone's life.

blog again tml. I am a blog-tizen.

what I feel.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

+ + +

let my hair down

I'm sick, tired, disgusted and demoralised. Perhaps we've been over-ambitious. Perhaps the past 6 months had been a mistake. A grossly huge mistake. We shouldn't have done what we did. We should have just left it as it is, and move on. I guess we all have a problem of moving on. That statement was unfair to us, but well, as people say, nothing's fair in the world. It was, and still is, a supremely immature act on your part. Low shot, you immature person. I will not stoop to your level and start scolding vulgarities and pollute this blog. I shall not reveal what this is all about, but I guess the 'we' will know who we are. Right?

sm

Saturday, June 07, 2008

+ + +

random3

emotions' power

arh~

freaking noisy! Haha.

YES I DAO DAJIE! didn't know you called me lor! Can't hear ar! so I dao u in sms again. =)

I find the day quite fun tho. Jeffrey was nice letting me to apply choc lotion on his face. =p Haha didn't know Ian will actually JUMPED onto the table to run away. Haha.

Jeff who hasn't reached 17 yet blew 16 candles while IanT blew one.

Haha. I am soooo happy!!!

Oh ya, dad had the cake as lunch.

To you, lol, obvious? Haha I wanted to apologise but then realise there is no need. Right? I haven't decided but one thing I am sure is it don't trouble me as much as before anymore. After going for the follow up, and I think about SFC and after talking to my friends, I changed my focus. Yupp. If it really distracts me again... hahaha... I die. LOL. but ya, loving God is better than anything. Haha, PREACHING!!! at least I let Him take charge instead of me la. I shall rely on Him. Think I want to sorry if I disappoint you. yupp.

Damn noisy you know! Haha I thought I was dreaming of my mum voice, turns out that yes, until now she is still on the phone about the past.

Backpaddle to the lit lesson I went for in MI with WS where we were watching Pride and Perjudice? EH NO! Shucks I don't remember the title. Nevertheless, I still remember what the teacher taught.

Women in the movie were depicted as weaklings, haha, as in they can't control their mind and feelings and one of the ladies threw herself at the guy literally by jumping off the stairs in hope that the man can catch her. When she went too fast, the guy couldn't stop her so she got herself unconsious.

And uptil modern days, yes women may work to show how powerful they and independent they can be, nonetheless, women in my life are not so.

Just look at her, she just can't simply step away from her past because she couldn't take the fact that someone she loves so hurts her. The emotions she can't find anyone to pour at or help her to find solace. Perhaps she tried seeking but those aren't the right people to confide to and her attitude on the phone and towards people here explicitly shows how she let emotions lead her.
She will just tell me look at her example etc.

It pains me.

And I who loves her so, has taken no trust or faith from her. How disappointed I can be?

Haha Hui Ling is emo! Oh dear...

And while looking at teachers who go labour or you know having family members who are ill, it just hits me again that it is almost impossible for women not to be carried away by their worriness.

or passion.

or love.

Haha and I think I will grow up to be one. Oh dear...

I see more men heartless then women. Haha.

shucks. I open music player for so long to realise it has not been playing. GUNDOO!!!
Oh ya and the cake was fantastic! haha! eh after seoul garden I can still eat so much la! Stomach stretched! Hahaha!!!

actually I have learnt not to love. Haha. oh dear...

Friday, June 06, 2008

+ + +

Made-Of-Honour

I forgot to do something rather important today. I had forgotten to complain to dad that going out with 3 girls(belle, WS and SM) gao da my tu zi. Yupp. Instead I just quickly went into my room, check out the mouse and thumbdrive which WS helped to get for me... and the mouse is freaking damn cool! It changes colour all the time!!!! OH MY GOSH! I LOVE IT! Thanks WS! Oh well, unfortunately.

Watching Made-Of-Honour brightens my week. Haha. I think so. The movie was great really! It just shows... actually it's kinda like my fantasy. well.

Oh I haven't explain about the gao da tu zi thing. We had dinner at seoul garden and due to the price we had to pay, we decided to eat as mush as we could and we stayed for 3 hours. Around there la. Haha.

$91.??

Yupp.

We took serveral plates of chicken(around 6 I guess), 2 soups, 3 eggs, I had 1 plate of taopoks and fishballs, crabmeat, and there is maggi, noodle+tomato sauce, veggie, 1bowl of raspberry icecream(ard 5scoops), 1bowl of choc icecream, 2 bowl of mixed icecreams(around 6 scoops), 2 bowls of sliced H2omelon and oranges, 1 cup of drink(once peace tea, lemon tea, grape juice and mountain dew), 2 plate of crackers.

wow~

Guess I haven't tell you what a mess WS made. Her territory was the blackest la! Haha and she kept making me taking loads of tissues(how do you spell the s word?) and yupp the picture is not all!

That's all we ate spending hours to rest and continue. Our cool down was drinking of soup which was fantastic. Nonetheless, my tu zi was gao da by them lor, about 10 months. I wonder how's my baby inside now. lols.

Seriously, next time when we are going out to eat, let's perpare more cash ok? lols

WS was so late la and we met Captain at CCK. Both WS and I shared the same feeling of anxiouness? when she told us she was going to watch movie at Causeway. And thank goodness,different movie. LOL

She remarked that our batch is the lame batch. lol.

Life is so unfair. The current sec4s can actually wear shorts and slippers for IP coaching OH WOW and to think they complained that they can't do anything. YA RIGHT.

Unfair. Haha.

I can't help but despice the fact that my ex-hist teacher treat her class girls who were too stressed to movie. I am like.... so in the future it's boss's responsibilty to treat his employees to destress? I will rather hire and pay myself. Boss are to take care of employees' welfare. Interesting.

Made of honour rocks! I LOVE IT!!!

It YES! I FOUND THE SONG I LIKE! LOL.

from the movie. haha. anyway, SM this time really get me to get that CD when it's out ok. I know I always said I want but never get but this time is really worth the freaking money. Haha.

love song by sara bareilles =)

I am going to get this someday when I feel like spending money. This movie worth watching ok!!! It's in Jap but vocally you can pick cantonese too. And subtitles, well...

Cakes! Gosh.

haha. HIPPO! The bear is pinkisk again after washing! And look at how zuai it is after it snatched 4 kissed from me! Haha!

And look at waddles which LYNN got for me and that Eeyore. BOTH DEAD. .

Oh well the pink cushion, see? it's right beside my pillow!!! WAHA!'

Shucks. WS, how do I pluck out my mouse? Just pluck ar? won't spoil the thing meh? lol, can le... Haha.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

+ + +

quilt gnawed

Devastated.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

+ + +

tagged by LYNN -.-

How to Play:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. No cheating.
4. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.
5. Tag 5 people.

How are you feeling today?
S.H.E- 愛呢{right title wrong lyrics? nononono. lols?! not in the right mind now. DOTS.}

Will you get far in life?
-我一直都在 {wait. it's about waiting for someone. waa NO! I shall get far far!}

How do your friends see you?
Jay- 本草纲目{wait, I can't catch the lyrics!!! SM! What does this says?}

Will you get married?
S.H.E- 魔力{no I-D-E-A. the song is usu sang to thank the fans... so I marry my fans? WS?! hahahaha... don't want. } it's gd tt she doesn read myblog. Haha., e wait, I have a lot of fan leh, Jeanie laopo SM?! Haha..

What is your best friend’s theme song?
Stephanie Sun's album- In the beginning {Great! =) Another new SOTONG LIFE shall start.. =))}

What is the story of your life?
S.H.E - 05 鬥牛士之歌{I always don't get what I want from him, that's what the song says... but not true I think. }

What was high school like?
The Fray- How to save a life{WAAHT?! Anyone going to end their lifes?! }

How can you get ahead in life?
S.H.E- Super Model{ haha, applies. nice one. wait.. so I go become a model or what? HEIGHT LIMIT LA.}

What’s the best thing about your friends?
183 Club - 真爱 Pure Love {awww~ sniff sniff }

What’s in store for this weekend?
183 Club - Magic Room(song) {I need to open somme door?? of what? oh ya! this is my SUPER FAV! lols. wait nononono, I shan't be the singer.}

Describe your grandparents.
Toploader- Dancin' in the moonlight {gosh! they passed away already la! see their souls dancing meh?! lol. no respect. but I do hope that's how they were when they were dating}

How’s your life going?
David Tao- 飛機場的10:30{??? I don't understand. ok... maybe the part of I must lose something because I prosess it ok...}

What song will they play at your funeral?
Jay - 蒲公英的約定{oh dear, I must have broken so many hearts cos I promise walking tgt with them and I PS them? so sweet... lols}

How does the world see you?
S.H.E- 五月天{so I assume the world thinks that.. oO, I am summer!!}

Will you have a happy life?
Stefanie - 关于{this is like carefree song...}

Do people secretly lust after you?
Stefanie - 我怀念的 {oooK. in the song she can't stop herself from missing this guy tho she tried... OOOK. Haha but if follow the title... miss what?! lols}

How can you make yourself happy?
F.I.R - Tarot Cards {LOL.}

What should you do with your life?
Shayne Ward - All my life {~I pray for someone I knew, ~I think I that I finally found you, ~I hope that you feel the same way too, ~I pray that you do love me too LOL. for all my life that is like... God, what have you planned?! haha}

Will you ever have children?
Don Moen - Thank You Lord {LOL. I wish to have 2 leh. so I assume I will have. YES! HAs! doesn really apply... haha, but his voice v nice. YES don moen!}

What song would you strip to?
David Tao - I love you {haha...hahaha, LYNN why made me do this?!}

What does your mum think of you?
JJ - 期待你的爱{haha, yea she always think that I don't know she loves me, but wait... doesnt really apply!!}

What is your deep, dark secret?
Stefanie - 我要的幸福{that's it!}

What is your mortal enemy’s theme song?
S.H.E- 怎麼辦{EU. digusting for him. Haha. and well he should give up this song le. lol}

What’s your personality like?
Avril Lavigne- Hot{oh my freaking gosh. LOL. not the title for real, it's the lyrics.. haha!}

What song will be played at your wedding?
蔡旻佑 - 我可以{not bad. lols. happiness is not easy. applies. good music player I have. LOL}

TAGS:shucks this time I have to tag SA de le. DA JIE. MAY EE. RACH? lols. jeremy YQ. hahahaha

Labels: quizs

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

+ + +

PW to ubin!!!

hello

Hui Ling 040491
really really wants 'Marrying Mozart' Matthew 17:20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Loving Mervyn
Keeps no record of wrong
Cleanse and heal
3.54am
Another checkpoint
National Day
"OMG!!!!! I FINALLY CLEAR QC!!!!!! I TOTALL Y CANT...
PAUSE
You have been too nice..
Sashimi and switch

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sHAron.
sheilina.
soeng may.

SA
donaDAJIE.
elsa.sa
ericTEDDY!.
jeremy.
rach.maehmaeh
rachel.SFC
yuanqing

GB

cindyXXX.
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jinyan.
siqi.
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ziyan

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