it is so hard not to tink of u...i am not veri sure abt my feelings but i keep looking at ur way n feel happy when i c u, wat is this all abt? is is because of the rumors? or it a crush? i cannot clearly tell u y i even like u...so how? lol so we will play the waiting game to c if feelings fade after a few months or so...but i dont tink it will...i used to realli hate ur slang, ur looks n ur attudite....but now i just like the way u look and i want to noe more abt u...u r so mysterious...i realli want to noe wat u like and wat u hate....furthermore i dont want to stead....i just want to concentrate wif my studies...i dont want to fall too deep and hurt myself...i am afraid that after i tell u my feelings, u will avoid me....i just wish that u could be more obvious in showing how u feel then i will make the right choice.... I really dont think that i am ur type and that u will not fall for mi...not in anyway...i dont amything special though...
hahaLast year, I was living in world thinking about this person who I mentioned in the category impt ppl. I was super busy last year with GB activities and lessons for competitions and Dansical night for my school’s tenth year anniversary. So I often was with other people rather than them. Well, we still manage to find time to go out, watch movies like in 2004. She has netball trainings on Tues, Wed, Thrus, from 2.30 to 6plus. Hence, I always go home with SM, WS and some GB girls. It was Sep, 11, Lynn’s birthday. I met her at 1plus to go to her house, to prepare for her birthday party. While she was busy to get herself dressed up properly I helped up in making the water balloons for the night. Trust me; my fingers got serious red marks then. I didn’t mind. I got myself wet and found myself for being silly.
I went with her to pick up our friends at Lot1. Well, her netball friends were late, very late. So, I brought the 2B’05 people to her house first.
All the netball girls in her room while the boys were in Leon’s [Lynn’s brother] room. Well, so where are the 2B’05 girls? In the living room. Where’s Lynn? In her bedroom. What were they doing? Taking pictures. I went to her and told her she had left us behind. She came to take photos with 2B’05 girls. [I told her I don’t want so I’m not in any of her pics.] When we walked out to the swimming pool, she went with her netball girls to run around and pushed each other into the swimming pool.
Her maid need help to move the food and necessaries to the BBQ pit. I volunteered. It rains and everyone was in the house [By the way she live at the 1st floor so from the pit, I can see eth] her maid and I rush to get the food ‘protected’ and bring things into the house. Nobody help us. Her maid was sorry for me and said about Lynn. I was down there ‘It’s ok.’
I went to the toilet to change my clothes after people had the dinner. I was out to find Lynn gone. I walked to the balcony to see her with the boys and the netball girls playing the water balloons. They finished the one HUGE pail of water balloons. I get to touch nothing. I cried. I went to a dark comer, within the condominium and cried my heart out. I called SM.
Well, Nette and 2B girls found me. Red eyes. I gave up. I told them. They tried hard to console me but sadly I was too hurt. XD was there, Nette told her that Lynn was always with the netball girls then so is XD then what about RX? SO XD came with us. Nette and XD asked me to tell Lynn. I said I didn’t want to spoil her moods, it’s her party. I broke my specs. Deliberately, the boys saw me. I threw it on Jasper; fish [Lynn’s precious God-brother]. Went, impulsive. I begged him not to tell Lynn.
They gave me balloons to make water balloons. So we 2B ppl was together after all.
Then suddenly the netball girls were out of our sights again to have a game at the basketball court. I joined the team w/o Lynn. Blah Blah.
While walking back to the house, we passed the swimming pool and again, pushed everyone into the swimming pool. I was pushed twice. First time, I was okay since I’m still near to the wall. Jean Le was pushed into the pool with my hand phone in his pocket.
Well. My love.
I made a lot changes to the phone to make it mine, specially. I had all the pics that remind me of what happened in 2005. I had special messages in it.
My god. A knife just being pieced into my heart.
Everyone asked about that hand phone.
Please don’t make me cry. I’m a strong girl. Please…
The second time, I had no idea who pushed me. I got far away from the wall. I struggled. [I was once drown when I was 3]. I shouted for help. I looked up at the sky. I asked myself how Lynn will feel if I die here. Well. It was the netball girls who saved me.
Nette and XD asked me to meet them at the door. I was dripping wet and Lynn’s relatives kept asking me what happened. I almost cried. Nobody came to me other than them. Their house door was open, why doesn’t anyone come to me? The boys saw me when they are leaving, they had changed their clothes. The netball girls too. I was still waiting for XD and Nette. Shivering. Lynn’s mum asked me to go into the house. I went. I couldn’t stand the cold anymore. Lynn’s sister Jia Qi came to me and I said ‘Thanks for showering me with care. Nobody done that’ she was surprised. Well. Then, XD and Nette came out of the toilet. Yep. I am so DUMB! They explained that they came in from the other side of the house since they send RX out from that way so they didn’t see me so they…
I changed my clothes. Some boys were still there. They asked where I was earlier on. Before I left, I told Jia QI ‘Tell your sister I left her present at her bedroom door. Happy Birthday to her’
The present. I prepared it since months ago. One star per day. I made 100 Virgo stars, brought the bottle and make the stand myself.
I went home just to cry for my specs, my phone, and her.
i also donno wat to wirte just want to say that i hope things last and i dont get too involved in stuff to bother with CCA n other things that are impt to mi. I want to noe how you feel rite now n how that wat huiling said is not ture and u r not tat sick in the head....that is all i can do now...u were so nice to me today i cannot believe it even though it was just a piece of paper, it means alot to me....i wish wat i think is true and the rumors are also true....i wish i wish i wish....i am afraid of wat will happen after that wat will become of our so-called frenship? i am afraid that it will led to many inpending problems...when that happens..i dont noe wat to do or expect...so i leave it to fate bahs...all the best...
JC, link?
Where was I? Oh ya. K, then. I stead with a guy-CCH. Thanks to the girls, I only know him for a week; in fact we know each other in a month without talking to each other. -_-‘’’ Lolx. Lynn hates him. I had a very close god-brother-ZX, and she hates him too. She always fights with them and I always say ‘One day, you will get close to them. Just wait and see. Hahax. She hates them but she accepted the fact that I’m so close to them.
Lynn was nominated to be a prefect, surprisingly. We began to take note of people’s grooming. [In fact, I have been doing that since I was young] Then it was then Lynn and I chat about XD. She folded her skirt in the class, in front of a teacher some more. She stopped wearing name-tac. When I went out with my god-sister at lot 1, I took out my name-tac, she comments that I was trying to be pai-gia [gangster] In September, she and others went to do donation stuff. She wore ankle socks and said this to a gal, one of us ‘Hey. Take out your name-tac la. We are out of school already ma’ Contradicting. We realize, she is changing. She was a very quiet and disciplined girl then she change. And so was her attitude. Lynn accidentally confronted her. Then XD was so sad.
Then her grandpa dead and the 1st person she saw was me. [I was at the classroom block, I’m always there in the morning alone. People said there are ghost there. I experienced nothing.]She looked so sad so I went to her. Before she said anything, she cried. I hugged her, and… I cried. I console her for a long time. I was good in getting people to stop crying. Yup. Then, we forgot everything about confrontation.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
+ + +
Sec life.
Haix.It all started in secondary one. The 3rd day of school. Yap. Lynn asked ‘Do you think Mr.Cheng is more handsome or Mr. Heng?’ That was the 1st qns she asked me. That is how we got together. The funny thing is we are both from opposite world. I was a pessimist, she was an optimist. She was from a rich family; I’m from a rather poor family. She’s a girl who follows fashion, I’m a girl who always wears T-shirt and ¾ pants. She is super friendly to boys, she accepts boys better, and I accept girls better. BUT THEN, the boys, erm, I was close to them too. Hee. She is violent and famous for pinching; I’m famous for telling lame jokes or whatever I say are simply just lame, that’s how I got the nick, Snow Queen. Hahax. Lynn loves Eng and she is good in it, well, I always fail eng. In fact, my favorite eng teacher said I got phobia for eng. Lolx. I’m good in chi and I love it, but not Lynn. I love math and sci stuff while Lynn prefers language stuff.
We with 4girls become six sisters and we were very close. In fact now we become Mr.Heng’s god-daughters. 1st is XinDI, 2nd is me, 3rd is Lynette, 4th is RuXiang, 5th is Lynn and 6th is Sok Ting. XD and RX forms a pair, me and Lynn, Sok is with nette. We were fated to meet each other. It’s so coincidence to have 1st and 4th, 2nd and 5th, 3rd and 6th. It seems to me, everything will stay in this way forever.
Our friendships are messed up when Sok and I was close, XD and Lynn was close. Actually now is.
I remembered when I was in sec1, Sok was the 1st person who palia from the 6sis. She was being ignored. I remembered clearly I was the one following her to the library and asked her about it. I was the 2nd who was paliad after Sok came back. They complained that I’m always with my god-brothers/sisters. They even confronted me by calling me at XD’s house. Wow. I got back then; Lynn was the 3rd, Nette and RX... I forget who is earlier. Then the last time is when I had no idea what they said about me and I left them, I mean not spending much time with them then. Lynn followed me and we got even closer. Our friendship got deeper until we can hold onto the phone, watching different shows and said nothing on the phone. Wasting money. Hahax. We chat, gossip, shopping, surf the net at library. We think the same way. Yupps.
At that time I was having another super close friend, Xiu Han and we married a few months after we met. She WAS a quiet girl and we always stay together for school work as her index no is just before me. I thank her for always there for me man.
By the way, Lynn is a netballer, and so are XD and Han. I’m a GB girl, same as RX, uniformed-group same as Sok [St John]. We always discuss about our CCAs.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
+ + +
Ok, great. I only told one person of this lame blog. Yup.. Sok TIng. She is not my best, she is my most special gal in the world.
Let's get started. When I was in primary 4, I moved to WVPS during July. I met a gal called N. She was super friendly to me and I accepted her in my life immediately. She accompany everywhere, she talked to me about her life and etc. One day, I just couldn't keep the pain I had so I told her abt my family life. She was engrossed in it. She was surprised that I could be so high and laugh non-stop in school yet I'm actually a serious ger.
After a few days another gal by the name of HJ, N's another good fren, came to ask me abt my stuff. I was shocked. Duh. N she was honest enuf to tell me if was N who told her. Hahax. What a friend indeed, I went to confront her asa I saw her. She just shoot her head and said 'No! I didn't. If you don't trust me, fine with it.' I was afriad of getting into troubles at that time so I just went shut-up.
Was I in the same class as her in p5? Oh yes. But I remembered clearly, I was still walking ard with her, but, I didn't give my heart to her. When I sms her or called her, she nv fail to give me excuses. Lame excuses in fact.
I went on to p6, without her, I got better grades, I met NQY and we become best friends. In fact, her family knows me and so do mine knows her. I even went to her hse just to help her file up 2004 wks. Spent hrs on it. Lolx.
We were with another ger, who is 'KELLY'. erm, fake name. She is, well, fat, she dun mind me saying that. She is violent too. IF you had seen wat she does b4. WEll. Once, I brot my Hp along to Sci Centre. I lost it and got scolded by teachers. The next few days, K brot her hp to school-same model as mine but diff colour. I went to ask her to show me. She already had 2 hp in her hse k. I checked out the saved items, and saw, my msg to A boy. It's mine, I swear, it's abt email. I asked her to explain and she just ans that' s her cousin's hp, she doesn't know anything abt it. Again, I shut off. My mum told me that, she help me read the fortune and she was sure that it was a friend of mine who still it. Well. I say nth. Am I silly?
Monday, May 01, 2006
+ + +
