I take it back

Did I say the end of the school year is my favorite time of year? Can I take it back? No?

Well, I'm gonna. Grrrr.

P.S. Dear students and parents: Extra credit opportunities will be available when they are available. NOT when you demand for it.

EDIT: Currently 9:01 PM. Spent the past two hours writing a three pager on my reasoning for not relenting in terms of grades. I believe I am right. I am convinced I am in the right. Preparing for the confrontation tomorrow.

Tiger teacher

Yeah, yeah, it's a lion, but that's the closest photo I have.

No, I haven't read the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. It sounds interesting, but it's not at the top of the my To Read list. Maybe because I had a Tiger Mother, and so the story would be old news to me.

The commentary surrounding the book is more immediately consuming for me, particularly two quotes from Nancy Gibb's essay in Time.

First:

Their [what Gibbs calls "Choppers" aka helicopter parents] fury at a bad grade is more likely to land on the teacher than on the child.

And this one:

I suspect one reason the book has touched such a nerve is a suspicion among the Choppers that an excessive fear of failure guarantees it - that if you don't let your kids get clobbered now and then by a tough teacher, they'll never have the resilience to thrive as adults in a competitive economy.

These two quotes basically sum up my week. It's the end of the semester, and I gave some low grades to students who can do better than what they got but didn't, because they didn't turn in assignments on time, or showed little-to-no effort, or were just making some jerk wad choices. I clobbered some of my students because I expected better from them.

And the backlash from certain parents towards my choices have been overwhelming. Not just the parent of T, by the way. There are more.

I know I can't give up being a tough teacher. I can't let myself allow students to slack off. I can't slack off myself. It really is a tiger battle with my students. And the path of least resistance is one I don't want to take.

But sometimes, a tiger needs a quiet place sheltered from the battle to lick its wounds.

An email with humility and sincerity

Dear Parent of T, I hope your day went well.

Here's an update on what I did for T today:

T came in to see me from around 3-4pm today. She was able to copy the original notes from sections 5.1 to 5.2. Unfortunately, another student had borrowed my 5.3 notes and have not returned them yet, so T did not copy those original notes. However, I did give her an impromptu lesson on 5.3 without the notes anyway.

Then, T took a different, abridged version of the 5.1-5.3 quiz. She was able to get a 100% on it. I put it in the grade book and it does not seem to affect her overall grade significantly - it is a B+, the same as before the retake today.

I would also like to reiterate that re-teaching happens in-class. If students would like more individual attention, they need to see me during my drop-in tutoring hours. I did give the quiz to T right after she returned: it would have been unwise to give her instruction on the quiz material while the rest of the class were sitting in the same room, taking the same quiz. That is why I instructed T to try the quiz anyway: test taking is also a method of learning, and she would be doing the same thing her fellow classmates were doing. I also told her to get a copy of the notes, either from a fellow classmate or from me after school, and to take home the 5.1-5.3 quiz for her re-take. The quiz that I had was the only quiz in my possession in her file, so I assumed she had turned in her re-take. If it is still the first quiz, as you believe it is, then I suppose T never turned in the re-take - of which I am certain I gave her. She was not the only student who was absent, and thus missed the quiz, so I had plenty on hand for them. I do toss out the old quizzes in order to keep the paperwork under control. Perhaps I should not do that anymore.

T never showed up during my tutoring hours to get the notes, so I assumed she was able to find a friend to copy the notes from. This, I also admit, was my fault. I do need to do more binder checks with all students in order to keep them accountable for their note-taking. T was doing well with in-class activities (albeit a little distracted, which is normal after coming back from such a big trip) so I decided to push forward. It is very difficult for students to catch up, as well as keep up with the current material, after a long absence. Pushing forward together with the whole class and doing review daily was a better choice, in my opinion, than holding T back because she had missed some material. I hope you understand, even if you don't agree with, my methods.

I feel the need to lay out my case, and hold that I did everything in my power to help T bridge the gap from her absences, even before today. I do not like the fact that I can't shake off the feeling that T's retake today felt unfair and unjust - not to T, but to her classmates. Although it's probably not your intention, I do not like how this situation feels as if I was being attacked for not doing my job. I am generally flexible with second, and third, and fourth chances. I am also flexible with giving extra time to students to turn in missed work. I do not, and will never, intend to disregard student needs and I hope you do not think I disregarded T, or her learning. I do my best with the time and resources that I have, both of which are limited in supply, so at some point there has to be an end.

I know you may not agree with me, but I still hope that this end is satisfying to you. I have really learned a lot from this event.

With humble regards and sincerity,

This Child Left Behind


**I've already pressed the send button, but on hindsight, it might have been better to swing this by my principal, or dept. chair first. whoops. oh well.

Ulcers all around!

Dear student,

You are not only giving me an ulcer, but you are giving yourself an ulcer. You have a freaking A in my advanced math class. You are doing WELL. Exceptionally so.

Just because you don't have an A+ doesn't mean you have to freak out.

Just because you are working your butt off, doesn't mean you can't relax too.

Yes, math is difficult. It isn't called ADVANCED MATH for nothing.

But you are doing well anyway.

Did I mention that you have an A? A high A, which will turn into an A+ once I've gotten the boat load of extra credit that you turned in today graded and recorded. So chill out. Please.

Sincerely,
Ms. B

P.S. I think I'll name my ulcer after you.

PTA and hacked

Like a $3 afternoon tea set at a seedy HK-style cafe in seedier downtown Oakland.

Apparently, Google thought my account was doing some "suspicious activity" and closed it for a while today. Boo. Now I have to go through all my stuff and reset everything.

Tonight was also my first PTA meeting. I read out names and handed out certificates of students with 600s on math and/or science CSTs. I saw parents freak out over something the math department presentation said. It triggered much stress over college admissions. It was kind of fun and kind of irritating at the same time.

Tomorrow is my Friday for the week. I say this with the deepest sincerity my heart can muster: w00t!

Dear parents

Dear parents,

I'm sorry your child thinks 30 divided by 2 is ONE HUNDRED FREAKING TWENTY-THREE. This is all my fault, and in no way is it your child's own carelessness.

I'm sorry your child habitually DOESN'T WRITE THEIR NAME ON THEIR PAPER BECAUSE APPARENTLY IT IS TOO UNREASONABLE TO EXPECT 13 YEAR OLDS TO REMEMBER THEIR NAMES.

I'm sorry "my style" stressed out your child, especially when I teach the class how to use different methods to problem solve BECAUSE APPARENTLY THERE SHOULD ONLY BE ONE DAMN WAY TO SOLVE ANY PROBLEM.



I'm sorry your child's locker is the black hole for homework assignments.


I'm sorry your child is not 3000% confident in their math abilities. I'm sorry that humanity has such an unforgivable flaw as self-doubt.


In order to make this up to you, I will now prostrate myself before an on-coming BART train. I will sacrifice my first born upon the altar of Helicopter Parenting. I am unworthy to teach your precious, over-coddled child because all their faults are my faults. All their inconsistencies are my inconsistencies. Your child is perfect as the day is long, and I should be honored to even wipe the hand-grease that they leave behind on their desks every day.


Sincerely,
Me

Pregnant Alzheimer's - no urban legend

Mo says, "Nuh-uh!"
Did you know THIS could happen to women when pregnant? Is that insane or what? I already knew, from a long time ago, that it's going to take an extremely special man to convince me to have a baby with him (not that I'm any where close to that stage yet).

Now, it's going to take an extremely special man who will ensure some sort of collateral - some VERY EXPENSIVE collateral - in exchange for MY BRAIN CELLS THAT WILL CEASE TO FUNCTION PROPERLY in the course of giving him an heir to his name.

Otherwise, it's to the adoption center, no ifs, ands, or buts.

It does explain why some of the moms of my students are the way they are though.

How to get your child out the door FAST

The cheese factor is high (as it is for nearly all Japanese TV), but there are some pretty good ideas on how to streamline a weekday morning routine.

Conferences ended yesterday. Out of a class of 28 fifth and sixth graders, we had to talk to five parents/grandparents about their student's consistent tardiness. In elementary school, it really isn't the child's fault when they are late to school - it has to be all parent. 6 out of 28 (there was one more, but it was a no-show) kids is a lot of regular tardies.

I know this school starts early - 8 AM - but it's not like the child is in kindergarten or anything. They are 10-12 year olds who are perfectly capable of waking up, dressing themselves, getting their school stuff together, and walking out the door when the parent does.

Is there whining? Stomp it out. Is there a late-waker? Get a louder alarm clock. Are they slow in the morning? Most of the time, this means that they are slow at any time of day. Which means you just need to get them to move faster.

I'm torn here because I do want the daily school schedule to change. School should NOT begin at the butt crack of dawn. But until that changes, get your student on campus, on time. Perhaps the following video will help the adults to move faster in the morning.

Parent/teacher conferences

Viewing the paper work from this point of view.

Parent/teacher conferences began yesterday and will continue up to Thanksgiving break. This is my third time sitting through these as a student teacher. I got to participate a little, giving my input on the student's progress, during my first experience last fall. This time, I'm going to run some of these myself. My CT will be present, of course, but I'll be the sole person addressing the parent. Am I a teacher-geek for being excited about that? Absolutely.

So far, I've learned:

- schedule the Spanish/Russian/Hmong speaking parents back-to-back with the other Spanish/Russian/Hmong speaking parents so the translator doesn't have to hop back and forth, from day to day. They will have more energy to do a better job translating, AND they will like you more. It is important to have a good relationship with the support staff.

- schedule the "teacher intensive" (either on the parent's side, or on the student's side) early in the conference week. Some will be no-shows, which means I can call them and attempt to reschedule later in the week.

- conversely, schedule the model student/parent meetings later. It just makes it nice to end the conference week on a happy note.

- massively push to have most of the meetings in the early half of the week, because it is A WHOLE WEEK AND THEN SOME of conferences. It is a long slog. I will get tired.

- leave the last conference week day open. That allows room for reschedules - and if those aren't necessary, then I'll get to leave school at 12:15 PM! w00t!

- coordinate with the teachers of brothers and sisters of my own students. The parent will be happier about hitting all the meetings on one day, rather than returning multiple times for anxious meetings.

Why I told your child, "It might be necessary to staple your mouth shut."

see more Epic Fails

Dear Parents,

I know your job is tough. I know you have to juggle a lot of things. And I know you want the best for your child. But it is NOT necessary to do any of these things, in any order:

a) provide your oldest child, the only boy, with art lessons. And leave your four daughters with no enrichment activities whatsoever.


see more Epic Fails

b) encourage your child to talk a person into insanity. Sometimes, it is ok to tell your child to shut up. They need to learn this. Period.


see more Epic Fails

c) ask me, not in a questioning way but in a "I'm just making sure" way, if I intended to give the weekly art prize to a different student each week. For the record, yes, I do. And FOR GOODNESS SAKE IT'S ONLY THE SECOND WEEK OF THE SESSION. You don't have to show your disappointment that your child didn't win the prize yet in such a public and deep way. Frankly, your behavior hurts your child is more damaging ways than me not choosing him for the prize this week.


see more Epic Fails

d) FOR GOD'S SAKE DO NOT DRAW YOUR CHILD'S ART FOR HIM. It's like doing his school work for him, because you think "he has too much pressure already." This is definitely a parent-fail in this teacher's book.


see more Epic Fails

Because, you know, it's a little sad that Fail Blog has an entire section devoted to you.

Sincerely,

An Annoyed and Tired Teacher

Back to school night #2

Last week, I experienced my second back-to-school night as a teacher. It was pretty fun. GE is one of those schools that has a high parent involvement percentage. And by parent involvement percentage, I mean at least 75% of them attend back-to-school night.

Out of my class of 28 students, 19 students' parents/family showed up. That was a number I didn't see at WB. It's probably a number that wouldn't happen often at EIB either. GE is an awesome school like that.

But there were some unhappy parents too. Mainly because they don't like the fact that we are teaching 5th grade social studies and science to both the 5th and 6th graders. Which is understandable, I would be angry too if that happened to my kid.

I would also raise some money to hire another teacher to relieve this problem as well. At least a part-time social studies/science teacher, if not a full-time, contracted one. There are crazy things happening with this district, and parents aren't the only ones who are unhappy about it.

I had a positive experience with back-to-school nights so far. Enough so that I'm willing to do more than just give my own classroom spiel to my students' parents. The local Jamba Juice decided to sponsor our back-to-school night this year. Which was awesome and hilarious at the same time. There's a thesis idea in the works over this concept in my head.

"What if this kid keeps calling me gay?"

I'm in a 5/6 split this semester and I can't even begin to describe the logistical headache that is. 1/2, sure. 2/3 ok. 3/4 is stretching it a little but still manageable in most cases. But a 5/6? As in super low 5th graders and super high 6th graders and barely anyone in between? How do you meet in the middle?

A little less of a headache (although it still is in a way) is that sixth graders have certain special events and assemblies that they attend because they are sixth graders. And one of these events is a sexual harassment assembly led by the principal.

Say what?

Well, apparently, in CA it is a criminal act for 4th-12th graders to sexually harass each other. Which I get, and that is as it should be. But this type of assembly is certainly new to me. Although some of the questions during the Q&A session made me think this was addressed in a timely manner after all.

Then there are things like the title of this post. Does a fourth grader really understand what that means when they are teasing someone like that? It's very derogatory, yes. I would swoop down on any behavior like that at once, yes. But it reminds me of when I caught a first grader calling another student a "racist." We had a very serious discussion and this young person told me that a "racist" was something like "stupid" or "dumb." Setting the record straight on that was sobering and funny at the same time.

Because students hear things, all the time, from parents and other adults, from TV and movies and music. And all they know about it is from context, which can be skewed already.

And thus, it comes back to another unwritten duty of the teacher. So many misconceptions, so little time. It really is more effective to set things up so students figure out the right thing for themselves.

In the end, bullying is bullying, whether it be in physical, verbal, or electronic form. Schools have dealt with it from time immemorial, and we will forever have to deal with it to the end of the world.

Media Mondays: a letter of opinion

Original article here.

NYC Educator's take here.

Read both first. Talk after the jump. It's a lot of reading, but reading is good for you.

***********************************************************

Hm, after reading this, it seems like I once again went off topic a little. Oh well, it's still relevant. A little.

Dear educators, parents, students, and anyone else that cares:

First of all, I respect all of you. You all play vital roles in my life, but most of all, you are all human beings and that just by itself demands mutual respect.

That said, would you all quit being such morons?

*ahem* Let me clarify.

First, to the educators. We have a rough job. It doesn't pay very much when compared to other jobs that require an equivalent education/skill. It isn't respected very much when compared to the same. I too, am tempted to smack the next person who says, "Teachers have it good. They play for six hours a day and have summers and holidays off." And not just because of their grammar misuse.

But that doesn't mean we have to whine about it 24/7. It doesn't mean we have to fall into society's expectation that we are twin set wearing, pointer toting, passive aggressive push-overs. Likewise, we don't have to be so damn defensive about. Every. Single. Thing. Want to know why the profession isn't respected? You're looking at one reason right here.

Yes, it's scary when a student threatens to kill you. I don't know how many of us have been down that route, but I certainly have. And if I have, then there must be others too. Yes, we are blamed for students low performance on standardized tests. Our already miniscule salaries are threatened by this during each testing season, without any regard to factors such as student's home resources and background, English learner level, physical/cognitive/learning disabilities, or the fact that they may have up to three years less of formal education than their middle-to-upper class peers. All these things, and then some, are placed on our already weary backs.

That aside, when you see a student who is troubled, or angry, or violent, do act with humanity. Don't act with fear that grows to loathing. It may take forever until their needs are met - ok, truthfully, their needs may never be met within their school-age years. But try. Because not taking action will definitely get both you, and them, nowhere.

We may bend under the workload, but let's not allow ourselves to be crippled by any other thing. I know you have a pair, so use them. And do what is in your power to help your colleagues. There's no need for all this schadenfreude, or "you blame me, I blame you" games. "I need help." "Where can I find resources for the student and his or her family?" Those are the type of questions you can ask. "I don't want to help this student, nor do I want to take the effort to learn how," is inexcusable. If you find yourself saying this, seriously reconsider your choice of profession.

To parents, for goodness sake, curb your kid! Students need special education because of a variety of reasons. You are one of them. Did you think parenting was easy? Did you think it would be fun all the time? Even if you did, you will probably know by the time your kid begins school that you have a life-time of work ahead of you.

Do not rely on your child's teacher to be the first line of defense when it comes to disabilities. Your child's teacher WILL NOT EVEN SEE YOUR CHILD UNTIL THEY ARE FIVE or thereabouts. You will see your child from the moment that strawberry jello-covered body pops out of your collective womb. YOU are the first line of defense. Educate yourself. Sure, you may not have medical insurance, but there are other ways - free or inexpensive ways - to prevent, as well as to take the first steps in treatment (or even a cure, depending on the disability), for your child.

Do not assume that your child's teacher is an expert in handling special education situations. Yes, most teachers have some training and knowledge in identifying symptoms. We do not know, nor are qualified to unless with the proper certification, to diagnose. We can mostly just adjust our teaching methods to accommodate your child. This will not always cure, alleviate, nor do away with the original disability. For some cases, the student will have to live with the disability for the rest of their lives. What your child's teacher does is TEACH your child SOME (not all) strategies on how to cope with that in mainstream society.

Do inform the school and the teacher. Do this in person and in writing. Tell your child's teacher the general outline of treatment you have taken for your child. THE TEACHER WILL NOT KNOW THIS UNTIL YOU TELL THEM. We are not mind readers. But we are here for the benefit of your student as well. If you have any suspicion or concern for the behavior of your student, share it with your teacher. Even if your student does not officially get diagnosed and enter special education services, there are other things the teacher can do to help your student function well in school.

Do understand that your child's teacher has 20-40 other students under their care during the school day. Your child is mostly likely not their only special education case. You are not the only outside pressure that the teacher faces on a daily basis.

Do network with the other parents. If your child is not the only special education case that the school has, then you are not the only parent who is dealing with this sort of rough stuff. Like I said earlier, it's going to be a long journey so let's get together and ya-ya, folks.

To students, there are some things that are not your fault. There are other things that are. And then there are still other things that are no one's fault. This is life, and one of the reasons school is there for is to teach you this. You will not always create a perfect project. You will not always be satisfied with your work, be it an A+ or a D-. You will not always please everybody.

You will get angry sometimes. You will be frustrated, hurt. You might feel like getting violent - perhaps you have already been there and done that. You will hate and you will fear. You will feel like a complete loser. You will fail sometimes. These are all things that will happen because the exact opposite on the spectrum are also possible. You must accept these things when they happen, and you must not let them overtake you because then the exact opposites will never occur.

Your grades are NOT based on whether the teacher likes you or not. Your grades do NOT define who you are as a person. And if it currently does, then work to get yourself out of that dead-end rut. Don't worry, the rut is shallower than you think. You are still a kid, and I know your world view is currently skewed egotistical and that you might take perceived (or otherwise) slights as the end of the world as you know it. Thankfully, your world is very small and very impermanent.

But because it is small and impermanent, do take advantage of it. It's smallness means you can explore all the way out to the very corners and still be home in time for supper. The impermanence means you might want to spend your time in school wisely. This time where you have the protection of your guardians, the guidance of your teachers, and the friendship of your peers is very precious. Try not to blow it.

And when you do blow it, and you will - because we know you have tried your hardest not to and will try your hardest not to again - all those people in your world will forgive you. All those people are willing to help pick you up and dust you off and set you back towards where you want to go.

And if they don't, then they weren't worth a baboon's butt to begin with. Their abandonment speaks more of their flimsy characters than it does of anything about you. Yes, your teachers may think you are annoying at times. Haven't you thought the same of your teachers? We are still rooting for you, so work hard.

To any one else that cares, please continue to care. Thank you for caring.

Sincerely and with best wishes to all.

********************************************************************************************

Coincidence? You decide.

I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I was privileged to spend about two hours with a 1.5 year old toddler recently while visiting a couple who had just had a newborn. The parents were very much sleep deprived, as almost all parents of newborns are. I admire them, and all parents very much, because I'm pretty sure I would not do such a thing. By choice. Because I'm selfish and immature like that.

The toddler was feeling a little left out, so it was nice for him to have the undivided attention of another person for a good long time. He toddled (ooooh...THAT's why they are called toddlers...) about for a while, and then settled down to play in earnest. I like to think I was pretty entertaining. I certainly had a good time. When I had to leave, he seemed like he wanted me to stay longer. Which was cute.

But it got me thinking because the parents of this cutie and I talked about it a little. I did some light googling when I got home that evening and the following is what I discovered:

Country::paid parental leave given

Sweden/Norway::16 months
Estonia::18 months
Bulgaria::45 days prior to anticipated date of birth, plus 2 years (also, pregnant women and single mothers cannot be fired)
Lithuania::8 weeks prior, plus 1 year
Canada::35 weeks shared between parents, plus an additional 15 for the mother, which is a potential 50 weeks total for the mother.
UK::52 weeks
China::90 days
Japan::14 weeks
Pakistan::12 weeks
France::16 weeks for first child, rising to 26 weeks for third child
Australia/Swaziland/Liberia/Papua New Guinea/USA::none

According to this law, parents are given 12 weeks unpaid parental leave. Any additional leave, paid or unpaid, is up to the discretion of the employer. Seriously? If I were ever to change my mind and actually have a kid, I would move to Bulgaria. They seem to have a much better deal there.

Frankly, the fact that Pakistan has more paid parental leave than the US doesn't really sit right with me. Not that it's a competition or anything. However, seriously? Pakistan? Does no other American find that rather embarrassing? Can we not provide just as well for our citizens as Pakistan does for theirs?

I've been hearing how students have been "getting dumber" (whatever that means) and developing "worse manners" (I believe this - more than once I've been on a bus with teenagers hogging up the seats while elderly people balance themselves in the stop-and-go traffic). Would paid parental leave alleviate this? Probably not. Would paid parental leave increase student's reading proficiency? I don't think so. Would paid parental leave keep more kids out of juvie and on a path towards a successful adult life that doesn't involve drugs or violence or gangs or dependence on welfare? Not likely.

Would it hurt to have paid parental leave? Definitely not.

Either I just got hit on or I made someone's bad day good

Sometimes, being grown up is worse than being a kid
This happened way back in December 2008, but I'm reposting it here from another blog because I like how it makes a good story.

Tonight was the Holiday Craft Night at my student teaching school. I ran the foam reindeer and Christmas tree station. It was fun.

And then, during a lull in the waves of students passing through my station as they glutted themselves with cookies and hot chocolate (remember when hot chocolate was the most awesome thing to happen on winter days? I relived that tonight), a couple parents stopped by to make reindeers.

One was a middle aged man with an Indian accent. His son is in second grade. The cafeteria was loud, and full of voices, and it was a little difficult to hear clearly. But I'm pretty sure as I was patiently showing him step by step which tiny pieces of foam to glue, like he was in kindergarten, that he said,

"I learn more English by speaking more. And I want to speak more to you because you love me."

Needless to say, that startled me. I most certainly did not do or say anything that would warrant that kind of remark. I was only being professional - I'm a teacher, and he needed someone to teach him, so I taught him just like I would any other student of any age.

Right at that moment, one of my own first graders jumped on to the table between me and the parent and demanded that I show him how to make a reindeer. I (rather thankfully) turned my attention to my student, and the parent eventually wandered away.

Having some time to ponder and get over my initial reaction (creep-o-la; I mean the guy had also asked if I was married or had kids, and which days I worked at the school, and where I lived, and where I was a student at and what I was studying; of course this could all be a cultural thing, some cultures think nothing of asking for your weight or salary), a second reaction slowly entered my mind: pity.

This parent revealed quite a few things to a total stranger (he was unemployed, didn't know a lot of people, etc). He must have felt comfortable enough at the school event to be like that. To think that the teachers not only cared for the children, but the parents as well. That school is a safe haven of community in the middle of a pile of crap, and more crap.

And, as with most things, I compared it to my own life. How lucky I am. That laid-off parent struggling to make ends meet, but for the grace of God, could be me.

One of my professors (to be honest, I don't really like her class) said the other day that, with perhaps the exception of medicine, there is nothing with loftier ambitions than the profession of teaching. I never really thought of it that way, although I've heard it before. It certainly isn't the reason why I chose to be an educator. But I've grown to like this side effect. In more than one case in any given lifetime, the teacher is literally the only positive influence on a child's AND the parent's lives. When someone is at rock bottom, it's reassuring to know the school is still a "clean, well-lit place."

At the end of the night, the parent purposefully found me again and shook my hand, thanking me, and hoping to see me again. The surprising turn out (100+ adults, so probably 200-300 people including students) was happily chatting and filing out of the cafeteria, paper bags full of crafts and cookies to take home. My students hugged me as they left the warm room for the cold outside. I told them I was see them on Monday. They turned back for a last wave and look at the teachers busily cleaning up as fast as they could (the neighborhood around my school isn't the best, but I guess that's obvious from this note).

On the off chance the dude is a nut job, well, at least I had the presence of mind to keep quiet about myself and turn the conversation back about the students.

The joy of staying in

So you can make things like this baby blanket!
I came across this article from Slate.com awhile ago and have been meaning to comment on it. Today seemed providential in more than one sense. I had a whole day of nothing doings scheduled - no teaching, no driving, not even chores because I was pretty productive this past week, thanks to the lifting of my 2+ months depression. It would be great. However, like all great things, there is always a little something that can sour the mood.

I live at home with my parents. They are ok with it, and usually I am too. Of course it's not the ideal situation (what is?) but there are positive, practical advantages for both sides. My parents, never really good at English or the social and cultural construct of American life, need a certain type of help with going about daily life. Of recent years, their senior moments have bordered on freaking me out too, so it's helpful for them to have someone on hand to, say, OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR FOR THEM WHEN THEY LOCK THEMSELVES IN. No joke, Alzheimer's is eminent and at the forefront of various different health issues my parents are facing.

The advantages for me are pretty obvious too. I can save or invest the money I would have otherwise spent on rent and other living costs. I don't have to deal with incompatible roommates and the world of drama that creates. And even though my current roommates can have their annoying habits too, they are easier to forgive because I can do the same to them and not fear a house blow-up involving wasabi peas, passive aggressive notes/door slamming, and the harm of innocent house pet by-standers.

Now moving on to how this is relevant to the article linked above. I know for a fact one of my habits that is most annoying to my parents is my tendency to be a home-body. I prefer eating in than eating out, counting take-out. I prefer watching movies at home in my pajamas with snacks that I actually like rather than wait in the lines, sit in a stale movie theater and munch on even staler popcorn. This isn't to say I don't like going out either; I would pick going out with friends over curling up in bed and re-reading the Harry Potter series for the nth time any day. However, there is this great and difficult hurdle called DISTANCE standing between me and the people I like to go out on the town with, so until the logistics of flights and visits are arranged, chatting with them online or on the phone will have to do. Needless to say, this chatting happens in the comfort of my own home.

I know my parents find this annoying because I overheard them recently (well, technically only my mother because she is loud; my dad is more soft-spoken) discussing how it isn't normal, or healthy to stay in as much as I do. How most girls my age are getting boyfriends and getting married (note: statistics show this isn't necessarily true, depending on geographical areas, by the way). Because going out and getting drunk off my rocker every night is healthy? Because half the married women my age will end up divorced within five years, I wanted to retort, but didn't. I would have before, in another incarnation, but I've hopefully grown out of that and into something more mature that takes things in stride. Disclaimer: I have nothing against marriage. Really.

The point is, there is health and normalcy, not to mention fun, to be had at home too. How often have I walked into an after-school program at 5pm to teach art to kids who are grumpy and ready to go home three hours ago? How often have I arrived on school campus at 7am with students lined up outside my classroom, waiting to be let in? And there's currently a (political) movement lobbying for longer school days! Dude, I can't even comment on that right now, it deserves it's own stand-alone rant.

There is only one section near the end of this article I highly don't agree with. The writer interviews his friend and out pops this golden quote:

Fertile neglect is the name of that policy: leaving the boy to his own devices so I can pursue mine and he can develop those solitary skills that will serve him in future airports, waiting rooms and prisons. It came about simply because I found actual down-at-his-level waving-tiny-figurines PLAYING to be, for some reason, soul-destroying—the arbitrary despotic movements of the child-mind and all that. Bonus side effect: when you do consent, in moments of magnanimity, to lower yourself to their play-level they are incredibly grateful. ...

Awesome. This kid's dad is too cheapskate to even take him to the park for an ice cream sandwich AND too full of himself to even give his son attention when they are at home. "Mr. James-doesn't-play-with-his-son," you are so fired in my parent book.

At lunch time today, my dad bribed me to go on an errand just to get me out of the house. He seemed shocked that I could run it so quickly. That pretend-shock lasted throughout the afternoon and it became quite burdensome to have him comment, "Wait, you're still here? I thought you went out" every half hour. He eventually gave up, whereas if my mother had been doing it she would have been after me until I RAN out of the house if only to escape her nagging. Because my dad is a home-body at heart too.

Kinda like making egg tarts

Hit or miss? Or experienced consistency?
Another perfectly behaved class taught today. It's been a month since I was withdrawn from student teaching. I've run the gamut of emotions as well as sunk into what Psych Central calls a "severe depression" and was advised to "seek professional medical advice immediately."

But I have yet to figure out how it deteriorated the way it did. I don't think I'll ever come to understand what went wrong this semester for a very very long time. If ever. I haven't done very much differently from the way I typically handle behavior management. Well, maybe I've been a little more explicit about directions and consequences. The "sick" voice (raspier, lower pitched) helps a little too. I've also been MUCH more relaxed while teaching, which means the words come out smoothly, and my actions are seamless. I was told today by one of the parents, who is also a teacher (high school), that he couldn't even tell which kids I targeted for behavior and which ones were just getting help. All he knew was that the behaviors were quickly extinguished in a low-key manner.

Ok, I take that back. I guess I have been doing things differently due to environmental factors. I'm so much more at ease in certain types of classrooms than others! Just this past week, I finally began to develop acceptance of certain events and things that may never happen. The peace that followed this thought was such a relief. Yet, when I accepted that certain things were never going to change about JL's classroom, the brick wall I was beating my head against only got thicker and thicker.

Weird how things turn out.

During clean up time today, one of the girls hung back and watched me put away my traveling art kit. I let her help me tidy up the pencils and things in their individual boxes. She did all this without speaking, just nodding or shaking her head or smiling. When everything was put away and we were ready to roll, I asked her if she had a good time. She thought for a moment and then shyly said,

"I didn't think I was good at art before, so I never liked it. But I think I'm starting to like it now."

Oh geez. Just when I was ready to up and quit UTEC, some kid I've only taught once has to go and say something like that. Thanks a lot, kid. It's all your fault for making me not run away from this profession.

Back to school night

This past Wednesday was the dreaded back to school night. Why dreaded? I don't know. All the parents who came and stayed beyond getting free school supplies were nice and attentive and interested. If they weren't they wouldn't have stayed.

But my CT was kind of disconcerted about meeting parents. She was jittery and talked a little too much in my opinion. I would have loved to mingle around and talked one-on-one with the parents. I would have also loved to ask those who wanted to sign up for home visits and volunteering. Parents are a huge resource and teachers generally don't use them enough.

I suppose I would feel jittery too, but I know many parents of my current/former students and I have never had an unpleasant situation with any of them. I suppose I'm lucky in that sense. Unless there is some unfortunate upheaval, the guardians of students only want what's best for their student. Which should be in line with the teacher's wishes as well.

I really wanted to reassure my CT that things will be fine and it'll work out and parents aren't as demanding as she seemed to think they are. Perhaps she wasn't so lucky as I was with the parental units of her students. Parents can be quite anxious and they have the ability to take it out on their kid's teacher.

Props to the parents who came! My parents never went to a back-to-school night in my entire academic career. Not because they didn't care, but because they trusted the public education system enough to let it do it's thing. Oh, and they worked 16 hours a day, including weekends, which puts a damper on extra activities such as these.

Which goes back to the theoretical usefulness of newsletters. Many parents regularly ask their kids what they did in school, but it's nice to have some confirmation from a teacher's authority. I haven't gotten mine out for Sunday school yet. But I swear it will happen!

So I don't write very well when I'm cranky and overheated and feeling slightly abandoned...

But I'm over it. For now. On with some random things that will fit nicely into an envelop and tucked away into a cubby until it's necessary to pull out again later. Or not. Just like what half those parents would do to the letters home my CT sent with the Ss on the first day of school.

In my opinion, 99.9% of parents don't really want to be bothered with what their kid is learning is school. Let me explain.

Parents care, I know they do. For the most part at least, and as far as their energies will allow. But they like to think that their kid is cared for while at school. They put a lot of trust into the CT and the school environment to bring up their kid.

Case in point #1: the growing need for teachers to teach morals, manners, and acceptable social behavior in the classroom. Up until very recently, all of this was taught at home and only reinforced at school. Like it or not, the trend is towards schools taking responsibility for non-academic learning as well. Too bad teachers and schools don't get extra money for moral performance.

Case in point #2: although a church Sunday School is VERY different from everyday Monday-through-Friday school, this principle stays the same. I don't even see the parents of my Sunday School kids on a regular basis. They do not question what I teach, nor do they visit the class. I'm not even sure they have any interest in their kids' Sunday School learning...because, let's face it, Sunday School is boring.

But I don't want my Sunday School to be. So I'm working on a once-every-other-month newsletter to communicate with parents. I don't really want to print them (the expense), but I also work from a mac so the newsletter formats might not cross-over in email-land. Plus, I don't know every parent's email. Maybe printing and copying them are my only do-able choice.

Which leads to my question, after many winds and turns, how do teachers keep in touch with the parents of their kids? I'm sure some don't even see them unless their kid is acting out or failing. But that's not really acceptable to me. I want to at least be on communicative terms with the parents of my Ss. It'll help me teach better.

Well, I'll try the electronic version of the newsletter for the first round. And then try something else if it's not doing what it's supposed to do. Trial and error is never easy.

In other news, now that all my course syllabi are in my hands, and I've stopped freaking out about the immense amount of workload, it's time to get down to business.

Lesson planning isn't as bad as some people see it. It's also not as good as how veteran teachers see it. I see it as a chore that must be done, and thus I spent nearly all of Friday working on this upcoming week's LP's. I'm glad they are done.

Now on with the real assignments.