On Becoming a Photographer

I just got (another) camera!!

This one is the BEST yet!

I am now the proud owner of a DSLR camera!!! (after wanting one since a college class in 03!)  Its a Canon Rebel XT - so an older one - prob from '05ish... but hey- it looks like its in decent condition, and it works!! :) AND it was free!!!!!!!!

How did I get it free you ask?? Well, I got a little bit of money for my bday and decided I was going to put it towards a used DSLR.  So I posted on FB asking ppl what models they liked, etc and this guy from High School who I was in band with (he was a Sr when I was a freshman and I was friends with his sister) saw my facebook post asking for advice on what used DSLR to look for, etc.  So he messages me and says- you can just have mine!

He lives in AZ and even paid to ship the camera.  It was a CANON REBEL XT camera body with battery in it & strap... no lens, no battery charger/cords/memory card/case/manual/etc...

In college I took a photography class and had to buy and SLR camera.  I got the Canon Rebel film version bc digital was just getting more popular and it was super expensive.  I also had a Camera bag already for this camera in college!  The bag will work PERFECTLY for all my new stuff- cool huh!?

AND luckily my old FILM Rebel kit zoom lens fit on it - so all i needed to start shooting was a memory card!!  I knew I would need a battery charger soon too!  So I checked out the battery and started researching what charger I'd need to order, etc.  Even thought about getting an extra battery at some point... chargers were about $70, batteries $35 ish.  

HOWEVER an extra bonus- the camera a friend gave me that stopped working - the Canon G9 - it had a chargeable battery (with the charger) in it... well the battery is the SAME exact one that this new camera uses meaning - I have 2 batteries and a charger already!! :) Praise the LORD! :)

Oh AND did I mention I already owned a CF card reader from my very first Digital camera (that i haven't used in years!!) and i knew where it was?!  Cool huh!? :)

I quickly bought a new lens to play with also- its the 50mm 1.8 that most of my friends use to get the awesome portaits with a "blurry" bg!  I found it locally at Competitive Camera in dallas for 99.95+ tax!

AND i realized I didn't have a cord to hook the camera to the TV - so I found one of those online.  I also found a Memory card converter that will convert a regular SD card (I have like 4 of these already) to CF format in your camera.  I felt like I would rather invest a little in a converter and be able to use the small, easy to find SD cards in my camera instead of the older, more rare CF cards.  I take LOTS of pics and now that I'll be shooting in RAW, I'll need more space!!

So this is what I've spent for my camera so far:

Memory Card: $26

50mm f/1.8 lens: $108.00

A/V video cable: $10

CF to SD card converter: $16

Grand total: $160.00

Can you believe it?!! I've spent $160 and I now have everything that follows for my camera:

Canon Rebel XT 8.1 mp complete with Camera bag, Kit Lens, 50mm Lens, 2 batteries, a charger, a video cord, a 4gb CF memory card, a card reader, SD to CF converter, numerous SD cards.

I'm so excited!!! God is SOOO good to me!!  Can't wait to start bettering my photography skills!!

I think I'm gonna start praying for a MAC Laptop with Adobe CS5!!  Bring on the BHAP! :) (big hairy audacious prayers) and lets see what God wants to do!

Week 3, Day 2

We completed another workout!  I REALLY didnt' want to!! But thanks to EMILY being dedicated- I decided it was worth it!

Today i really felt stronger doing MOST of the moves in RIU.  And I actually had more energy, etc!

Just another day to 'push play'!! 

I'm more motivated after i measured & looked at pics yesterday afternoon!  I took before photos on May 3 & I had the same outfit on yesterday.  A couple ppl at work said they could see a difference (I did NOT believe them!) so after the pics- i can see a TINY difference in the pic of my back/legs/etc... I'll show you two pics- the one w straight hair is wk 1- May 3, and the one w curly hair is Wk 3- May 17

Then I measured and lo & behold- I'm down a total of 9.25 inches!!! with almost 4 of those in my hips and an inch on each thigh!!  How fun is THAT!? After just 2 weeks- and only 13 workouts! 

People here have asked if I've changed my eating - I have.  I have been trying to do more fruits & veggies and I"ve ONLY had water to drink for 2 weeks basically (yesterday I got 100 oz down!!! I think thats my goal each day!). 

And then when I just REALLY want some kinda food (like fried stuff, cheese, chocolate)- I have maybe 2 bites or way WAY smaller portions (like take the NORMAL that I would typically serve and then cut it in 1/2 and then take a little less than that)!! For example- last week we had fried okra up here for an event.  I LOVE okra!  I had less than 1/2 of the 'normal' serving and I was def satisfied and then i skipped the roll & the dessert(it wasn't one i just LOVED anyway).

For me- if i have a "diet" or a strict routine- I'm NOT gonna stick with it.  I know myself.  I hate "rules" & "regimines" and so i need the freedom to change stuff up (afterall- variety is the spice of life right?!), the freedom to eat what I want, and the freedom to splurge if i 'need' it- without going OVERBOARD... but with the ideas I've started with- I have found I dont even WANT to splurge as much- and i LIKE lots of fruits and veggies- even having a spinach salad for lunch!  How cool is that?!

I'm so glad I decided to do this!!

Shame

This morning - I heard Nate get up as I was in the other room.  Typically, he will get up, go potty and come find me - either to snuggle w me in my bed if I'm not quite up yet, or to give me a hug when i'm on the couch spending time w Jesus, or will at the very least poke his head in the room I'm in and smile.  All of this usually happens w in the first 15 min he's awake.

Today, he never came to say good morning or give me my hug.  After about 30 min (I was spending time w the Lord w my sweet friend LeeAnn) I went in to find him sitting in his undies and the t-shirt he slept in playing beside his bed with all the clothes (that we so carefully put ON the bed last night for easier sorting for me this wkd) strewn on either side of the floor. 

Come to find out- he had wet the bed last night and was searching for pants that were to his liking (Jeans w out holes in the knee- a rarity at our house).  When he couldn't find a pair, he just resolved to stay in his room and play.

I realized he never came to me because he was ashamed.  Ashamed he had wet the bed, and then ashamed he couldn't cover it up by finding clothes to his liking, and maybe even ashamed he'd made the mess w all the clothes everywhere after we just cleaned up last night.   So in his shame - he decided to just sit and play (in hiding) and never come seek me out. 

When I found him - not dressed and just playing after being up for so long, he looked at me almost as if he'd been caught doing something bad. The main reason I sought him out was because I missed the morning with him! I missed being the first one he ran to! I missed his little "I Love You Mommy"!  I missed his big hug and contented silence as he just let me wrap my arms around him tight and squeeze him.

How often do we do this with God?

How often- once we make a mistake, either accidentally or deliberately even, do we distance ourselves from Him? 

Maybe its because of fear of punishment, maybe because of shame or disappointment in ourselves, maybe just because we're embarassed bc its not the first time and its messy... but regardless- How often do we choose NOT run in to say "Good Morning God" bc we only see our junk and assume he does too?  How much does HE miss us?! How much is he sad/hurt that we didn't run STRAIGHT to him first thing?  How much does he want to help us clean up our mess, "put our pants back on", and move on to the rest of the day? How much does he want to hug us and tell us he still LOVES us - no matter how many times we 'wet the bed'?

Its crazy to me that the hiding and shame thing is so instinctual.  We dont TEACH our kids that- do we? We don't usually have insane consequences for thier trials.... and yet- they still hide and even lie sometimes when faced with 'sin'.  I think sometimes they know its the 5th or 12th time they've had the same issue and they FEEL instinctively that they should "have it" by now.   Don't we do that too!?  Don't we disqualify ourselves from being used by God just bc we did THAT again?

I am sure that is not what our daddy wants.  I am SURE that he LOVES us no matter what.  I am SURE that any problem we have or mistake we make can be made right SO much quicker with HIS help, His perspective, HIS grace.  I think he's more sad when we dont RUN to Him w our mistakes and instead run away from Him in hiding.

So my question to you is: do you believe you CAN run to him?  And do you believe (even the 20th time) that when you make mistakes and sin that he still LOVES you and LONGS for your hug in the morning, your smile, your voice saying "I Love You"? 

I think I'm starting to.

I did it!

I worked out. at home. after LG. during Nate's bath. in my house. BY MYSELF!!

Victory is MINE~! :)

I'm not even as sore today- i just really feel stronger! 

the girls at work all texted eachother last night to keep us accountable... if I hadn't had that- (and the blog world) to be accountable to - I'm pretty sure I would have just NOT done it!  But it was FUN actually... AND felt good to sweat!  AND my little man came and "worked out" with me! SO cute!! He was doing the kicks and the crunches and was so proud of himself!  Oh how it made me want to do more and be a GOOD example for him!!!

God blessed me in my workout! And then one of my very sweet friends came over last night just as I was finishing the workout- so I got to chat w her till the (too)late hours and it was super encouraging!! What a great Wednesday! :)

If you've ever been disappointed bc ppl didn't change or your expectations weren't met...

goto this blog POST  (titled Therapy Thursday) of one of my Baylor buds- Jenny Simmons - who now is the lead singer for Addison Road and is also a new mommy.  I find her blog funny, real, and inspiring! I think you will too!

Check it out!
Jenny's Blog

Defeat & Death and Katie.

ok so I know its been a while since I've posted... (It always annoys me when ppl post excuses and appologies when I read blogs... and yet- here I've done it.)

I haven't been doing a lot of running or anything lately- minus a 30 min workout in Mexico when we visited Nate's dad several weeks ago... so i felt like I didn't have anything to post. I felt defeated. I started this blog about "who I was becoming" because we are all works in progress... and I really hoped it would end with me being like "WorkoutMommy" or at least sorta fit... or maybe having dropped a few sizes and lbs... But so far I'm still not making a lot of progress in that area. I was so determined... but now it just doesn't seem to be possible, worth the effort, doable, etc. I feel defeated sorta... and only by my own self... only by my own lack of discipline....

However, I have a LOT going on in other areas... and so I've decided while I haven't spent much time on my physical self lately... i've really been growing and learning in my emotional and spiritual self. I wish they were all 3 meshed together and you couldn't grow one without the other... but honestly it just takes a LOT of effort/time/energy/insert other excuse here to do it all.

So for now... I'll give you a short update on the rest of me (as if anyone really was waiting for the next blog or hanging on baited breath to see what TIFFANY is doing... ) and then I'll send you to somewhere REALLY worthwhile... a blog I happened upon this morning that left me in tears and changed (in a good way.)

So after a season of stepping back from a lot of activities/leadership/etc and really trying to enjoy myself, Nate, God, Friends, etc (those are totally in the wrong order... ) I felt called to do "Elevate". Its a discipleship training school at my church. We will learn a lot, read a lot, memorize scripture, grow closer together, and really seek to serve the Lord outside of ourselves. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I haven't done much of the above on my own so the good Lord has led me to a school where I'll be FORCED to grow. I use forced in a good way... This is going to be tough though. I'm not really very disciplined... (see above paragraphs about working out.) I've squeaked by in life, and managed to do ok at stuff... I've done enough to just get by... nothing too outstanding.. I do whats required and not much more. I'm selfish. Really. I am. I dont love people well. I judge others and have pride in my heart at things that I have no right to feel pride for. I want to serve- but on MY terms(read: enough to get by and complete a checklist), not the Lords (complete abandonment).

I'm overwhelmed. This is going to be a tough year. I'm going to have to DIE to myself. DIE. Every single day. Die to my plans. Die to my wants. But really- I'm 29 yrs old. I've known God since I was 6. Its kinda ridiculous that its taken me 23 years to realize its time to DIE. My only comfort is that Jesus started his ministry at 30... he did a ton in 3 short years... surely there's hope for me to change my 'norm'. Surely. I want to change it. I want to become CRAZY for HIM! I want to do things the world thinks are totally absurd for HIM. I want to love people for HIM. I want to get out of my own head and into the hearts of others FOR HIM. I want to stop judging people FOR HIM. I want to be an intercessor FOR HIM. I want it all FOR HIM! I want to change the world FOR HIM!
and then... i realize that means sacrifice... and that means death. Death to MY dreams, MY desires- because they are not His desires. They aren't.
and then... I'm scared. Scared of failing... and even scared of succeeding. I'm scared about what that would even look like. And I'm scared that when I get there- I'll decide the cost was too great. But could it ever REALLY be too great?! The church answer is def not. My real answer- I'm not sure.

So here we are at the beginning of a journey that I believe is going to be good... that I intentionally placed myself on... intentionally not knowing what it was going to require and now feeling completely overwhelmed.

Speaking of overwhelming... I just found a blog today through one of my friends from BRH days at Baylor, Jenny Chisolm Simmons of Addison Road. Jenny's blog is great- she's a new mommy and she shares with such REALness and humor the not-so-glam world of being in a hit band, following God at all costs and her struggle with the good and the bad. I LOVE reading her posts and I'm pretty sure you will too! HOWEVER, today- she had an entire post of reaction to someone else- Katie. See Jenny's blog about Katie here:

So if you didn't read Jenny's summary of Katie and her blog... at least click on Katie's blog. She's just a girl who grew up in the South, and now serves God in Africa doing things she never would have been able to do on her own... and loving it. After reading her blog- my issues... dying to myself... finding a little discipline... they don't seem like that big of a deal. I'm going to be thinking about the things I read for a while... and then hopefully dying to myself and stepping out to do something for HIM.

Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear your perspective.

Love
Tiffany, the dying one.

Trust (#2)

from http://thewacosudans.blogspot.com/ I thought it was good so I'm posting it! Head over to Mr Sudan's blog if you want more of his story!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

This has always been one of my favorite passages of Scripture, but in all honesty it has also been one of the most difficult for me to follow. It has been my M.O. to try to maintain control of my life and all situations. Fortunately that has worked well most of my life (at least for me - those around me may not feel the same), but I feel like I have missed some direction from God and some blessings because of this.

Then with my surgery, I completely lost control of my life and I was forced to re-examine my way of doing things.

The other day I was driving back from the lakehouse with my mother who is now very confused. She was not sure where she was or what was going to happen to her and after answering many questions, I finally said that she just needs to trust me. Her response was "What else can I do?"

It really got me to thinking that that was what God is trying to say to us. He just wants us to trust Him. There are times when we do not know where He is leading and events in our life just do not make sense. At that point we just need to trust Him.

But for me the bigger problem is that I don't realize that I am confused. I go through life trying to control it and thinking that I know where I am going, while in reality I am lost. The first step in trusting is to realize you are confused. We often call this humility. We all need a good dose of it.When I asked my mother if she thought she could trust me, she responded that she knew me and that I was trustworthy. In the same way we can trust God because we know His character. We know that He is good and that He is powerful, and therefore He can take care of us and do what He says He will do. And that is the gist of it.

We have to admit that we do not know it all and turn to One who does. Of course trust is earned and it starts out small and grows as the One we trust shows His trustworthiness. I have a lot to learn in this area. But if God can speak through a donkey, surely He can speak through a confused old lady. We just need to be listening.

Trust

From a friend's blog. I feel like its universal. It meets me where I was yesterday! I hope it encourages you!


"But He knoweth the way that I take: when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold (Job 23:10). All the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come (Job 14:14b). [So with that being said] Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him. (Job 13:15a)

I have a sneaky suspicion that once you let God know how you feel, He will let you know how He feels and that is, Woman of God, daughter, just trust me. I know what Im doing. If you can just endure a little while longer, you will have the last laugh. Dont faint. Dont get despondent along the way.

Yes, your heart hurts but I couldnt allow this door to open because it was a smoke screen, it wouldve been what you wanted and not what I wanted for you. It would have been an Ishmael (what the flesh wanted) and not an Isaac (what is ordained in the Spirit).

Hold on woman of God. I havent forgotten about you. I know it seems like its taking a long time but everything is going according to my divine plan and will for your life. Youve got to trust me. Even when you dont understand it or what Im doing, you must trust me. Can you do that for me? Can you trust me with your life? Better yet do you trust me? Do you trust that I have
your best interest at heart? Do you trust that I can come through for you? Do you trust that I know what Im doing? Do you trust me to bring you out of this trial? Do you trust me? Do you? I cant hear you?!!! Do you trust me?

Then if you do, let me handle this thing. Let me handle it! I know what Im doing. Do you think I want to see you hurt? Do you think I like watching you suffer through the afflictions? Do you think I like watching you agonize over things when your breakthrough is coming? What kind of Father do you think I am?

Believe me, I want to come to your rescue, although its very tempting, but I cant because if I do, the blessing wont last; you wont get all that Ive ordained for you. Youve gone through too much
emotional damage, youve cried too many tears, youve been through too much these past few years for me to just let you settle for anything. Ive got to let you endure until the end. I cant allow you to give in now.

Trust me,it will be worth it. But you have to trust me.

I know your heart aches. I know youre confused but daughter, the end is nigh; your breakthrough is imminent. I wouldnt be a just God if I didnt allow you to enter into the Promised Land after all this time in the wilderness. Trust me. I need you to trust me. So just trust me. Please trust me. I will not let you down. I promise!!!! "