It has been so long.
I feel like I can no longer write the way I used to.
1. Something unchanging.
I believe that these things do exist - the constants in our lives.
Constant not in a physical or material sense, but in an abstract, intangible way.
Simply put, the effect they have on us is the constant.
Some people are just able to warm your heart, calm your anxieties, anchor you down, and make your heart feel full again.
Effortlessly.
Simply by being.
And this remains constant across time and contexts.
Grateful for the constants in this ever-changing world which gets increasingly complex by the second.
2. Voids
Surely voids exist in all of us. What differs is probably the extent of the void.
Regardless, how do you fill it up?
Do you distract yourself with work - fill yourself up with material things, the tangibles?
Or do you seek companionship?
Or do you choose to get absorbed into the virtual world?
How do voids grow?
They all stem from the lack of something.
And that gaping hole allows other things to slowly slip away.
Then before you know it, it swallows you whole.
3. Thoroughness
As I pondered about things that happened, I felt awed by my ability to forget some things rather thoroughly.
As if things were just "if"s...
Very cleanly,
very thoroughly.
And I figured that that's how you decide what's yours to keep and what's not.
4. Well wishes
Oftentimes, the want for someone else to be happy hurts.
It's so strong, yet fragile at the same time.
5. Out of control
I marvel at our strength and our incapability to make things happen.
People who know me well enough know that it's difficult for me to lose my locus of control. As such, when things are seemingly out of control, I have an even greater need for control.
And I get disheartened.
6. Dark side
Am I really one who inclines towards the dark side?
Or is it simply that the concept of dark side is irrelevant to me?
That "dark" is simply a part of being whole.
Therefore, it doesn't really matter?
I know what I'm capable of.
I know I can see the goodness in life and situations (admittedly, it could be damn difficult sometimes).
Maybe it's not wrong to embrace both, and to see no distinction in them.
Life and death, beauty and destruction etc.
All are necessary.
7. Good place
There's yuuki, and now there's miyu. (together, they form "miyu(u)ki" - something meaningful to me)
There are people I love, and people who love me.
There's
good food (stopover, teppei, maki-san, GC brown sugar black tea)
good games (FFXV!!!!!!! FFX! Dynasty warriors!)
good music (the brilliant green, utada, Radwimps (because of Your Name), ryuichi sakamoto)
good shows (one punch man, future diary, sakamoto desu ga, mob psycho 100)
good thoughts,
good feelings.
I feel like I'm in a good place.
And I hope the same for you.
