It's real~*

"Is this real?"

Real people, real emotions.

Every breath,
every beat of the heart,
every gaze,
every word.

"Yes, of course."

And because it's so real,
it's so heart-achingly beautiful.



5 centimetres per second.
One of my favourite animated films (look at the animation!!!!!).

Because it's so real, so relatable.

And the song... enough said.

Earworm~*

We hold up to an idea 
And we'll fight what we can't see 
We just hold up to an idea 
We keep going till we can't hear 

- CHVRCHES, Dead Air

だってひとつもし願いが叶うのなら
僕らが共にあった日々の事を
一度だけでいい いつか思い出して

君がもしこのわがままな
願いを許してくれるなら
そのあとでそのあとで
その心から永遠に消してしまっていい

- Hamasaki Ayumi, Pray
(To listen, go to: http://en.musicplayon.com/play?v=689874)


By the way, don't bother using Google translate (or any web translator, for that matter), unless you need a good laugh.

Pinky~*

I want to see you, because I love you.
And I cannot see you, because I love you.

- someone, from somewhere.

~*~*

Don't recoil, because there's nothing to fear anymore.
Don't cry, because happiness awaits, somewhere.


Your source of happiness is somewhere.

Somewhere else. 

Double~*

“Like too much alcohol, self-consciousness makes us see ourselves double, and we make the double image for two selves - mental and material, controlling and controlled, reflective and spontaneous. Thus instead of suffering we suffer about suffering, and suffer about suffering about suffering.” 

— Alan Watts

source

On love, pain, fragility, life and the cat~*

"To be treated in a special way by you is a blessing to them."

"...haha, blessing. Really?"

"Yes!" 

"No, I bring pain." 

Love itself is courageous and beautiful. 

But the way you love can, at times, cut deep into the flesh of your loved ones. 

Not now, perhaps.

One day, perhaps. 

To love entails taking that leap of faith, and allowing yourself to be completely bare in front of the person, knowing that you might get utterly destroyed, and your heart completely shattered. 

Visible cracks. 

It also entails being yourself, and acknowledging the risk that you might never be able to be yourself again. 

The pain - it could be a dull ache somewhere; it could be acute and sharp. 

It could be accompanied by profuse bleeding, steely eyes, burnt letters, withered flowers...

So dangerous, yet.

~*~*~*

"Jas ah, you cannot be caged up, can you?"

If your heart were set free, where would you go?

Released. 

Would you return? 

~*~*~*

"You like to withdraw and clam up." 

I can't think of what I would do otherwise. 

When I feel threatened, and the soft spots start to feel unbearably exposed, the instant reaction is to retreat and disappear. 

Allow me to trust that you'll respect my need to hide in the shadows.

With this trust in you, you then have to trust me enough to know that I will emerge from the shell eventually.

~*~*~*

"You're like cat." 

Curled up in a corner, waiting, and watching. 

Waiting for something that might be invisible to the human eye. 

~*~*~*

"What's in that head of yours? I cannot read you at all." 

No, you can't.

~*~*~*

"I think I'm actually very, very lucky." 

Lucky to have people willing to love me, despite me being such a flawed individual.
A flawed individual who doesn't quite know how to love, and how to protect her loved ones.

~*~*~*

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

In my hands are many, many things that have sharp edges.
Nonetheless, I will still tighten my grip, and watch them cut into me.

Bleed, and bleed.

And I will look on, in morbid fascination.

Pain is only temporal.
Then again, so is the absence of it.

~*~*~*

"Silk and steel."

Sometimes, I lose that gentleness
and the accompanying vulnerability.

Sometimes, I lose the fortitude
and the accompanying disregard.

I don't want the weakness that allows my tears to flow so easily,
and neither do I want the strength to hold them all back.

~*~*~*

"So fleeting, so fragile."

The transience of life.

We lose, we gain, and we lose again.

In the limited time that we have... 

~*~*~*

This is not intended to be a depressing entry.
Perhaps, because my baseline mood is at least one standard deviation below the mean of the norm, things I write, even neutral ones, sound sad.

But I'm okay, and life has been quite kind to me in many ways.


And oh yes, on a side note, I have a new addition to the family - sexy Cello-chan. :)
I'm truly, truly grateful to be able to have her.