Evidence~*

On repeat the whole day.



(what an unflattering scene)

At the other end of where you’re pointing, there surely is hope.
No one is going to decide it for you
When you’re suffering inside,
if you come to question the meaning of life...

- '证' by Flumpool

I didn't continue the lyrics because I think you should complete the sentence yourself.

And here's the Chinese version, with the Chinese lyrics penned by Ashin from Mayday.
(his voice sounds more mature and less nasal)



The stuff that Ashin writes are always very... different.
Personally, I feel that people who can write like this observe the world in a way that we usually don't.

Engage all 5 senses to experience the world around them...
Use the heart to feel their way around (metaphorically, of course).
Same goes for artists, writers, choreographers etc etc.

People who manage to preserve talents and skills that most of us have unfortunately left behind... in order to progress... (where to...?)  

Thinking back, it was WS who highly recommended Ashin and Mayday to me back in the JC days...
Of course, I've heard of them way before that but I hadn't gotten around to listen to many of their songs (except the overplayed 知足, 孙悟空 etc).

I won't say I'm a fan of Mayday, but I have to admit I like these guys.
As I hardly listen to Mandopop, let alone idolize any Mandopop singer, liking a band means quite a lot I guess.
And truth is, some of their songs resonate with me... and their lyrics touch me.



I don't know why I chose this song, of all their songs.
Maybe because it's not as popular as the other songs in the album?
UNDERRATED.

I remember WS telling me to listen to this song.
It was during a karaoke session and something in her tone made me pause and study her expression for a moment.. And I'd decided to check it out immediately.

And I love this song ever since.

多遥远 多纠结 多想念 多无法描写 
疼痛 和疯癫 你都看不见

~*~*
I have been thinking, reading, listening, watching, talking.
Somehow, it seems like the more you think you understand, the less you actually understand.

It's always a matter of choice - whether you want to be simple-minded and take things as they are, or delve deep and risk getting lost.

Whatever it is,
human beings are difficult to understand.

Because you are not them,
you will never understand.

Updates~*

In the nutshell...

MACAU!

BALI 

I'm never a person who goes into details about who, what, when, how, where (because I suck at writing narratives. Lost that ability long after sec school).

Since dear MW kept pestering me for photos, I'd decided to do up collages instead (heh, the lazy way). 

Of course, they don't capture everything that happened during those trips. 

Nevertheless, I picked those photos which were the most presentable... of places that were the most memorable. 

Pardon the lack of photos with human beings in the Macau collage (except for reflection shots), because my cam was used to take scenery shots while T's supposed to take photos of people and she's too lazy to upload anything TSKKKK (if you're reading this -> UPLOAD). 

For Macau, I'd have to say I enjoyed House of Dancing Water show (it was SPECTACULAR), the many tours to the different hotels, as well as the historical monuments (the unique blend of Portuguese and Chinese culture). 

And of course, the hotel itself was magnificent. It looked just like a palace from the outside and it's so colossal, I could never manage to take a complete shot of the whole hotel. And the suiteeeeee. It's extravagant (by my standards, at least). 

And as for Bali, the most memorable part of the entire trip was the walk along the beautiful rice fields in Jatiluwih. ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

Rice fields on a foggy afternoon

I'm afraid this photo doesn't do any justice to the beauty of that place. 

Look at the vastness of the fields and the endless greenery... On top of that, the weather was so cooling (because it's really high up in the hills).

Ahhh.... I think I can just spend the rest of the day sitting among the fields and enjoying the tranquility.

Besides, I also got to indulge in gooooood foooooood. 

The peculiar thing is that we hardly ate any Indonesian food (not a big fan of Indo food). 

The Western cuisine there were so yummy! 

Humongous pizzas (I'd nearly died when I saw the portion), lovely tiramisu (soaked in kahlua, so moist!), tasty grilled cajun shrimps, A&W WAFFLES + CURLY FRIES + ROOT BEER FLOAT (I was so excited to see A&W)

Importantly, for the portion and quality of food, they are really affordable!!! :)

Being a fan of Forrest Gump movie, dining in Bubba Gump restaurant was akin to reliving the moments of the movie. 

The food was delicious and the service was impeccable!

They chorused, "WELCOME!!!!!!" with HUGE grins on their faces when we stepped into the restaurant.

And when we changed the sign on the table from 'Run Forrest Run' to 'Stop Forrest Stop', the staff would shout 'Stop Forrest Stop!!!!!!' and attend to us immediately. 

Sadly, you hardly encounter such attentive and friendly service when you step into restaurants in Singapore. 

So, in short, I've enjoyed myself tremendously during both trips.

Like what Z said, it's all about your own expectations and perceptions. 

Personally, I do believe in keeping an open mind when I travel. 

Because you're not a local, you shouldn't judge excessively. 

That being said, home is still the best place to be in :) 

~*~*~*

I've been listening to Rachael Yamagata's songs on repeat for the past few days. 

I don't really know how to put it... they put me in a laid-back mood, with a tinge of melancholy.

... sitting on a front porch, puffing smoke, drinking a glass of red wine, staring into the sunset.... that kind of feeling. 

In reality, it would be Rachael Yamagata, night, rain, couch, a strong cup of earl grey..., in a long black dress... maybe leafing through 'After Dark' by Murakami Haruki.

This one gave me goosebumps.

And if you would only let me 
I could show you how to cry 
In your darkest hour 
I would lead you through the fire


This is a song which I'll listen to over and over again, when I'm consumed in my thoughts in the middle of the night.

I keep saying over and over and over and over again 
Let it rain, let it rain 
Over and over and over and over again 
Let it rain, let it rain 

They have a strange effect on me.

~*~*~*~*

Friends, 
why are you all leaving when I just returned to Singapore?

HERBIVORES

Managed to catch up with them before they all go overseas!

~*~*~*~

"Enjoy while you can"

YES.

Departures, Arrivals~*

Say goodbye, and hello.

Back from Macau,

off to Bali soon.

Oftentimes, the vastness of the sky overwhelms.

Seeing the world through different perspectives.

Travelling truly opens up your mind. 

Mini escapades from the harsh reality back here. 

Though it's merely temporal relief, it's relief nonetheless. 

Happiness can be simple. 

Fragility~*

source

Is this a sunrise or sunset?

Does it matter?

Breathtakingly beautiful, nonetheless. 

~*
Fragile. Handle with care.

The ephemeral nature of life.

Last night, as I glanced at the hospital lift buttons - "Burns Unit", "ICU"... - something just wrenched up inside. 

At any one point in time, there are people who struggle to keep alive. 

Because we can't foretell the future, there is never predictability in life. 

Convincing as fortune-tellers may sound, truth is, they probably have no inkling of what's round the corner. 

Which is why, people's passing often take us by surprise...

Back to why I was in the hospital in the first place,
thank goodness it was nothing major. 

I sincerely wish for her speedy recovery!!! 

~*

Last evening marked the end of my 16 years of formal education.

I'd expected it to be an emotionally-charged moment.

But alas, it was NEGATIVELY-charged. 

For the first time in my life, I experienced an emotion that I can never ever label. 

It's the most peculiar concoction - anxiety + dread + disorientation + relief  + nostalgia + pride (just a tinge) + excitement (minuscule) + confusion + sadness (???) 

Nothing like what I'd anticipated (ecstasy from emancipation!!!!!)

It wasn't even a "loud" or "over-the-top" kind of feeling. 

Rather, it was a quiet, dull sort of mood in the backdrop.

I'm too antsy, aren't I?

Simply because I don't know how to let loooooose, I am always uptight and cautious.

Just like a stressed-up mother; an overly rigid old granny; a bossy older sister.

I think too far ahead ("WHAT'S NEXT????"), and my favourite past-time is TO WORRY. 

I remember reading a book which advised people to "live in the present".

That's a challenge for someone who flits here and there (past and present and future).

Anyhow, taken together,

it's not going to be an easy transition for me. 

Neither here nor there.

~*

BUT of course, there are many things worth looking forward to:

overseas trips (to relax, rejuvenate, and INDULGE)

concert (to immerse in the electrified atmosphere and get swept away by the music)

musicals (THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This, shall be my elixir)

Z's D&D (it's exciting to think of an appropriate costume!)

Commencement 2013 (...will I be feeling proud of myself?)

weddings (an insane number of weddings. many of which are Z's friends' weddings + bro-in-law's sis wedding + cousin's wedding. Weddings are such joyous occasions that I will never get tired of attending.) 

And of course, plenty of meet-ups with friends (I've been socially isolated for so long. It's time for updates, people).

Come to think of it, there's really so much more to life than school and work.

Nevertheless, the very thought of work is .............

source

why so grumpy?

So, back to my life.

I should feel liberated, shouldn't I?

AND, to all who helped me through my thesis+exam period, thanks for being there to tolerate my nonsensical and loony demeanor (with extreme highs and lows), punctuated with occasional (or frequent...?) SOS signals. 

you all know who you are.

Much appreciated and thanks for continuing to accept me despite all that. 

To end,

this song is incredibly catchy (minus the Jay-Z parts TSKKKKK).

And people,
please take good care of your health

In Between~*

One down, one more to go.

What's in between?

A mix of emptiness, ambivalence (you'll find me using this term very often), aimlessness, confusion. 

To the extent that nothing is certain,
there are bountiful possibilities.

Yet, simply because nothing is certain,
you find yourself drifting and floating haphazardly.

Mulling over the unhappy things just isn't useful.
How many times must I torture my esteem before embracing the therapeutic effect of TAKING THINGS IN STRIDE?

Because nothing is stagnant,
I have to move on.