the shadow~*

credits: tumblr.com

I've come to realize that I'm really limited in my ability to bring happiness to others, or even to myself.
sometimes, it just seems that there's a dark shadow that trails closely behind.
decisions that i've made, paths i've treaded on, damage that i've done...
the past makes me feel helpless.
what if, what could have, what should have, what would have...
and that's not the right way to look at matters.

sometimes, I feel that the dark shadow is my own creation.
sometimes, I feel that the dark shadow is my alter ego.

the more I feel that way, the more it feeds into the shadow.

'feel', as opposed to 'think'.
is when I shut off my mind and leave everything to my heart.
is when my heart deals with the pain, even when they're not shown, not known.
I do feel it.


rather peculiar how all these inner thoughts only get revealed here, and they basically appear non-existent offline... though people close to me can read my expressions, which render my mask useless...

anyway, the bottomline is, I have feelings, even when I don't show them. I am thinking, even when I pretend to be ignorant.


and to divert a little,
I think I'm falling sick.

btw, I'm into my 5th year of blogging. happy belated birthday, trj.

Infinite loop~*

I think I'm dying soon.
I can't believe I actually spent the whole day doing nothing other than scrutinizing notes and frowning at my laptop.
presentation... report... urgh.
I can feel that my eyeballs are rolling out of their sockets and my brain being charred.

and the awesome thing is, I feel that I'm getting nowhere.
Nowhere at all.

I feel like I'm just going around in circles.
Inifinite loop, yes?

and it's just downright !@#(*&(!^%=@*&! frustrating.

I guess I really need a breather.

my sources of entertainment:

1. The Big Bang Theory - it's unbelievably hilarious. I actually have one entry stored somewhere in my drafts that's specially dedicated to this sitcom. anyhow, it's just SUPER FUNNY. ingenious, how they can come up with such novel plots and fresh funny lines.

2. America's/Britain's Next Top Model - still very very awed by their photos. and the sadistic side of me is just fascinated by the numerous catfights that are bound to occur in every cycle.

3. Facebook - how my even more sadistic friends have been putting down vile comments on pictures of me that are well, BEYOND unglam. haha. but i've got to get used to it since cameras hate me, period. tyra banks once said this,
'the camera doesn't lie'.

So I should really just curl up and die. hahaha.

4. writing gibberish here.

I'm perfectly aware that my life has been reduced to the size of a microscopic organism.

I can't wait for this sem to be over, but I don't want finals to come so soon!!!
together with all the deadlines etc etc etc.

urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

catch-up~*

something really last minute. something pretty spontaneous.
nevertheless, simply therapeutic.
took my mind off lots of things.

life-savers. :)

horoscope?~*

(an entry that was written quite some time ago)

Psychology has taught me that science should always be based on empirical evidence and this has somehow diminished my what had been a really intense passion for astrology (horoscope). However, from time to time, I would still be awed by the uncanny coincidence between what my zodiac sign tells about my personality and how I perceive my personality to be.

So, I won't say that 'I believe in horoscope' but rather, I'm keeping my mind open to possibility of horoscopes being accurate. Maybe one day (who knows?) some scientist might be able reject the null hypothesis of horoscope being inaccurate? So I shall stand by my neutral stand.

chanced upon this at pig's blog.

A Cancer Woman

When she is in love, she will act both ways. First, Shy and polite
trembling to be near you. Second, Attach to you like glue and trying
to be with you all the times. She will try to go home with you after
work, or have every lunch with you. It is O.K. if you like her too,
but if is is not the case, you will feel very uncomfortable. (I think 'clingy' is the last thing to describe me)

She hates to be talked about or gossiped by someone else. If she
knows she will be very hurt. In nature she is a shy type, except she
has been influenced by some other Zodiac. She is not a brave or daring
type, so if you like her then you better be the one who start first.
She will not accept her true feeling, so if you like here you better
tell her first.

She is like a musical note always change in tunes, so one minute she
can be funny and cheerful, and one minute she can be sad and depressed. (ohhh.....)
Other people may think of her as "Over-acting", or "Over-reacting".

When she is depressed, she will go out and look for things to make it
up. She loves money, and thinks of having "Money" as "happy", not as
"God". She will not look down at you if you do not have a lot of
money, but she will help you make money, save money. She is not an
extravagant person and sometimes will tell you not to buy her
expensive and not useful gift. (thrifty! Kind of true, in a way)

She is the type who enjoy a long and quiet walk. (I'd love it even more if it has just rained and the humidity level + temperature is just right) Cancer woman also
influenced by the "moon", so under the moon light she will be
fascinating woman. (ooooooh... I shall go out only at night then.)

She has a constant fear for many things. She fears of not being smart
enough, not pretty enough. (true. self-critical.) Even if she is not fat, she will not be
satisfied. Assuring her of her look would help, because she can change
mood 4 times a day. (how'd they come up with an exact quantity of mood change?!)

She is not stingy, but you will not surprise if you see she
collecting old or broken junk. She sees that everything are useful to
her. (I've got piles of unsorted items that might be redundant) She will find a way to re-use it again some day. She is not a
jealous type, but possessive. (nooooo... I'm neither, which is not really a good thing, I suppose?)

The best part of her is that she will sacrifice everything for her
love one with no limit. Don't leave her in times of troubles, she
will never forget it. (hello, lady vengeance? not exactly true.) She is not a weak type, even she looks like
one. Example if you argue with her, she might cry her heart out. Once
you leave, she will wipe her tears and start clean up her apartment
normally. (yes I will move on from there, but I certainly won't clean up my apartment...)

She is a very careful mother and will look after her kids every steps
of the way. If she is a mother of your children, you are at ease, but
if she is your mother in law, you are in pain. (hohoho what's that supposed to mean?) Not to worry, this type
of mother in law will not let her own daughter become an "Old maid".

She can be moody and argue with you in many little things like many
women, but she always wait and want to take care of you. (awww... so sweet!) If you argue
with her and disappear a few days, she will be waiting for you, but
not for long O.K. This kind of testing is risky, try not to do it. (yes, yes do not try.)

The Cancer woman needs 2 things to be happy which are "Work" and
"Love". She can be living in a dusty house, but she cannot live in
that same house with no Love. (work and love. I see I see.)

(http://zodiac-world.blogspot.com/2006_06_01_archive.html)

Norah Jones' songs are soooooo good. :) So is Hurts (I don't know why but Hurts reminds me of The Killers for some reason).

And one more thing, my very very very much anticipated movie trailers are up!!!!!!!!!! :)

Norwegian Wood:

Never Let Me Go:

I really hope they will be screening them here. please, oh please!!

Pi~*

I know I'm flooding this place with random entries (not that I've got nothing better to do, it's just that I'm starting to treat this space like a good confidante. unhealthy, I know. and naive, too.)

I am starting to have random impulses to rave about things that, imho, are worth raving about.
like 'Pi'.

ANYWAY, THIS FILM IS JUST PURE INSANITY (in a good way, of course!)



















credits: http://www.movieposterdb.com/poster/921bd200


"paranoia is faith in a hidden order behind the visible"

I don't know if I can find the exact words to describe the thrill I got from watching it.
but still, I shall try.

1. first things first, although it's a black and white film, it's not a 60's black and white, but rather, a deliberate attempt to make it... I don't know, more gripping?

2. another warning is that it's high-contrast. so I had to switch my tv colour mode to less dynamic, for fear I start to develop headaches (like max).

3. the storyline is simple. the lines are simple. but they don't just simply add up to give you something complicated. rather, they give you something complex, not complicated. (oh thank you, GEK1530)

4. (spoiler) whenever there's trepanning involved, I can feel the adrenaline rush. the 'owwwww!' (big grin) Love it. On the other hand, my mum was so calm.

5. (spoiler) I love the built-up of tension. I love the way the lines are repeated and repeated. I love the way he nosebled throughout the film. I love the abrupt changes from scenes to scenes, from reality to delusions, from the sane to the insanity. it's almost elegant, this way of potrayal of a mathematician (or anybody else) being driven to the edge, becoming obsessed, falling over the edge.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.

6. the only downside is probably the occasional mild headaches I got from the high-contrast black and white spinning shots. other than that, it's a masterpiece!

It has been so long since I last raved on about a film like this one. I've almost forgotten that excitement after watching a fantastic film that gave my brain a good stretch.
It has quenched my thirst for cognition and mind exercises.
I miss great films like that, I really do.

thrillers these days are becoming more and more commercialized. so much so that they've been reduced to a mere weak exterior made up of extensive marketing and big money in cast and sets and stuff that really don't help to fill the inside. which is why, sometimes, we've really got to strip a film of its exterior and focus on what's on the inside.
therefore, independent films shouldn't be dismissed as just films with low budget. in fact, to me, independent films win the day.

I know judgements are really subjective and I shouldn't be too critical about the films (ultimately, who am I to judge anyway?). But I just feel that too much commercialization has somehow degraded the standard of thrillers - let's just make everything simple and plain to see, no need for deeper thoughts and analyses.

well, fair enough, since who wants to pay to watch a movie that leaves question marks all over the place and that the audience have to rack their brains to comprehend?
we all prefer something straightforward rather than some ambiguous storylines that leave everything to your own interpretation yeah?
(though I admit I'm the odd one who prefers things not to be so straightforward and allow me to scour for clues)

but anyway, I've digressed enough.

Darren Aronofsky
A name I'll definitely keep a lookout for.
'Requiem for a Dream' and 'Black Swan', anyone? :)



you guys just GOT TO WATCH THIS FILM. :)





and by the way, I feel so grateful to have a mum who shares my interest in watching thrillers that probably not many people will enjoy watching.

Will definitely recommend this to my sis and yl - it runs in the blood, certainly.

mind~*

It finally poured this afternoon. And my turbulent emotions seem to have stabilized.

Weird, because normally people say 'the rain finally stopped and today's gonna be a great day'.


anyway, I'm currently reading 'Woman on the Other Shore' by Mitsuyo Kakura.
can I rave about Japanese authors again?

"to find something that makes you unafraid of being alone,
rather than to have so many friends that you wind up being terrified of solitude."

- 'Woman on the Other Shore'

solitude.
are you afraid of being alone?
why do some of us enjoy solitude while others are frightened at the thought of it?


after reading my text on personality disorder (presentation due next next friday), taking a sneak peek at dissociative identity disorder, fervently googling about Sybil and loading 'Pi', the psychological thriller, to watch later on, I am starting to think a lot a lot about bizarre human behaviours.

the whole array of behaviours. the extremes.
people can lack conscience, people can feel no remorse, people can find no need for social relationships, people can be overly suspicious, people can be extremely sensitive to evaluations, people can believe in dissociating from reality.

people can construct their own reality...
how are their cognitions like. how do they perceive reality...?



Maybe, we're all as different as our minds are.

the brain is so intriguing.

I think mine is probably 'red hot' most of the time.

hello, you~*

I looked at the very long cut on my knee (the one I had many months ago) and it dawned on me that the scar might never go away.

so, am I right to say that even though wounds heal, the scars might never go away? even if it does, it might take decades. and by then, we'll all be ashes anyway.


and today, 'Here I Am' by Leona Lewis just happened to be on my ipod and I was suddenly so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so overwhelmed. followed by Kokia's 'Ave Maria', which drowned me.

there is so much negativity going around.


and then I turn to this place. to seek solace.
to seek solace through writing gibberish.





hello, imaginary friends, can you listen to me for a second?

above all these noises.

I want to spill out everything.
I need to undergo catharsis.
I really need to let them out.

But I'm holding everything in.
I'm bottling everything up.
Until all words just translate into codes - unseen tears, nonchalant looks, bright smiles, happy words...

why must I pretend?
why can't I act the way I want?
why must I do things like that to myself?
why do I care so much?
why am I even feeling this way?
why am I being so selfish to feel this way?
why do I always get consumed by such unneeded negativity?
why am I so vulnerable to stressors?
what am I doing to myself?
what am I doing to the people around me?
what am I trying to do?
what am I trying to show?
who am I trying to be?
who am I trying to please?
who am I trying to help?
who am I becoming?
what am I becoming?
how do I start?
where do I go from here?


I'm the crazy one.
I'm the crazy one.

I think I lead a double life.

"Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Sometimes you just can't make it on your own"

- 'Here I Am' by Leona Lewis

otousan~*

I don't like a relationship based solely on exchange, in which both parties meticulously calculate how much each other contributed.

I don't like it when you say something wrong which sends a piercing pain right through me, and then try and make it up for it by becoming nice suddenly, almost too suddenly.

I don't like it when you simply order me to put everything on hold and your demands must be my priority.
the way you say 'hurry up', the way you tell me off when I am held back by my own stuff, the way you sit there, waiting, drumming your fingers, as if the whole world spins for you and only for you...

It never crossed my mind to disobey. It certainly never ever crossed my mind to deliberately make up excuses that I've got lessons till late in the evening, that I need to work on my presentations, that I'm caught in the lousy traffic... I'm not lying.


I might be wrong for ranting, because really, I owe my whole twenty years to you. without you, I'm nothing.

but still, I'm just seeking for understanding, a little understanding from you.
and a little patience. and most importantly, trust.


am I asking for too much? am I, really?

moments of despair~*

moments of weakness.
moments when crying seems to be the only appropriate thing to do.
moments when we can't seem to find our voice, despite hearing our heartwrenching shrieks reverberating deep within us.
moments when you just want to lie there and not do or think of anything.


moments when we can only admit defeat to ourselves.
moments when no amount of sunshine can pass through the thick fog of negativity.
moments when we stop wishing, praying and hoping.
moments when it seems as if loneliness might just eat us up alive...


moments when we're no longer ourselves, but a mere copy of what we should've been.
moments when our bodies contort and twist in agony. Agony of which we can't even ascertain whether it was physical or mental.
moments when static floods your ears, eyes.
consumed by static, static, static.


when everything just seems so overwhelming.

as if nothing can ever go right again.

what do we do, then?
what should we do, then?
what can we do, then?

I am scared too.
scared of the unknowns, scared of my inability to step out and make things alright again, scared of my cowardice, scared of my moments of weakness, scared of taking one wrong step, scared of admitting my mistakes, scared of the idea of tomorrow, scared of things that I don't understand, scared of disappointments, scared of regrets, scared of running into a dead end, scared of being consumed by negativity, scared of falling and never getting up, scared of becoming scarred...

scared of so many, many things.


it's impossible to lead a completely smooth life.
we just... have to fall, have to get hurt, have to face things that we are constantly escaping from.

have to get up again, have to wipe those tears away, have to face whatever life throws at us bravely.


that's the only way isn't it?
not to admit defeat so easily.

only then, only then,
will we learn, will we grow, will we be proud of who we are.


I want to reach out to you.
and tell ourselves that 'yes, we can overcome it, we can overcome it, we can overcome it.'

In order to be walked on, you have to be lying down.

- Brian Weir

Benjamin~*

I am so exhausted now. (and the heat is draining my remaining energy, however little.)
But I don't know why I feel the need to pen this down.


"For what it's worth:
it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.
There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.
You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.
We can make the best or the worst of it.

I hope you make the best of it.
And I hope you see things that startle you.
I hope you feel things you never felt before.
I hope you meet people with a different point of view.
I hope you live a life you're proud of.

If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again"

-'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'

be strong~*

credits: tumblr.com


yes.
you, me, him, her, us, them.
all of us.
just gotta stay strong.

we're all really stronger than we think, aren't we?

since we're still alive at this very moment.
doesn't that prove a little something?


So, so frequently, I've felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.
As if I were literally drowning and my lungs hurt so much.
I could seemingly feel the rush of water into my mouth, my ears, my brain, my whole self.
engulfing and swallowing me whole.

like being eaten up by a snake.

At times like these, I'll always ask myself,

'How much more?'
'How long is this going to last?'
'How far do I have to go?'

It's not easy. Definitely not easy.
And it's not going to get any easier from now.

But I know, somewhere deep inside, resides a person who won't back down so easily.
because she knows that no matter how tough it seems, the toughest moment will pass.

It has to pass. Because there's no adversity that will last forever.

And most importantly, look around.
look around you, look at the people around you.
and look at yourself.

where is the source of your strength?
that allowed you to come this far?

even the smallest gestures of goodwill are appreciated.
even the tiniest smile can make your day.
words of encouragement, or just witnessing heartwarming moments are enough to lift your spirits.

like I said, be welcoming of happiness, love, friendliness, warmth.


let it spread.
because we're all trying to

stay.strong.

Left Right Balance~*

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 43%
Visual : 56%
Left : 47%
Right : 52%

Jasmine, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz.

You are a well-rounded person, distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition.

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. You will alternate between logic and impulse. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on.

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional

http://mindmedia.com/brainworks/profiler.do

Hope~*

Unwelcoming~*

here, there, everywhere.

1. SSO's concert at UCC
It reminded me of how much I used to love 'Air on a G String' by JS Bach.
My mum used to play this piece on the stereo when I was really young.
So I've been conditioned to associate this piece with my mum and my childhood.

very, very pastel coloured, very very tender.

on impulse, I started playing the piano version of this piece.

it felt so painfully familiar, loaded with so much memories, that there was an overwhelming surge of emotions.

a time which I want to return to, and at the same time, not want to return to.


2. Piano
I got merit for my grade 8 practical exam, which was a pleasant surprise, considering how my hands were trembling so hard I could hardly play.
and hence, no more obligated practices, no more pressure to 'play well', no more stage anxiety.
it's as if this huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders.
but at the same time, emptiness seems to take its place.

anyhow, it definitely doesn't mean my piano will be merely for decorative purpose.

And for now, it'll be JS Bach and me.

3. I had a lot of things to write about but now they seemed to have dissipated into thin air.
my memory is failing me.

4. I need a breather.
It's a really hectic semester for me and there are certainly times when I thought I might just snap.
The past week was e-learning week and well, apparently, I still have to return to sch practically everday.

which means, on top of all the e-lectures and e-tutorials, I still have tests to study for, projects&presentations to do.

it's quite suffocating.

but well, the same rule applies.
"the only way to complete tasks is to go and do them".

and btw, e-tutorial for abnormal psych is just hilarious. hahaha.


5. Who I am not.

I'm envious of people who can
constantly stay positive, maintain a positive self image, are practically glowing with confidence all the time, always smiling and cheery (even though the day wasn't as smooth as it could've been), able to shield themselves from the negatives of life, able to change the bad into the good, chase away the blues, who really know how to appreciate and cherish the good things life has given you...

so, so, so effortlessly charismatic, poised, self-assured and dazzling...

as cool as a cucumber. haha.

how do they do that?
or rather, how do you do that? (you know who you are haha)


and for myself, I'm just like a ratty, boring, cranky old woman who emits some scarily depressing aura.

ahhhhhhhh. teach me how, won't you?


6. having an obsession with dried figs.

yummy yummy.


7. unique individuals.
we all have.

things that we need to figure out on our own,
problems that only we can solve,
questions that only we ourselves can answer,
happiness that only can only be found by us,
revelations and realizations that will dawn only on us,
mistakes that only we can rectify,
regrets that only we can come to terms with,
memories that belong only to us,
miracles that only we can encounter,
emotions that will only overwhelm us,
locks that can only be unlocked by us...

so many things that can be done only by you. not me, not him, not her.
so much more amazing things to be experienced on your own. not me, not him, not her.

perhaps,
happiness comes only to people who will learn how to cherish them, appreciate them, treasure them.

if we are unhappy with ourselves, with everything around us, with everybody around us to begin with, happiness will never come knocking on your door because you're just being unwelcoming.


yes, I'm being unwelcoming too.

so I'm learning, trying, trying.

Imagine~*

Happy 70th Birthday, John Lennon.
Even now, I'm sure there are still many, many people who miss you.

In memory of this great musician, I shall listen to one of my all-time favourites.

'Imagine'

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

PROJECT BLUES~*

I shouldn't be here. I really shouldn't be.
But I know that if I don't vent it out somehow, I'm going to drown.

disappointment, stress, confusion, frustration.

after a hard day's of work, we're all back to square one.
back to yesterday, back to zilch.


I'm completely overwhelmed with the crazy amount of past researches that I'm reading through and unfortunately, all those just contradict one another in so many ways that I think I might as well just go and sleep now.

on one hand, I really want to 'just go and sleep now' and hope that everything will somehow fall into place. Just take things as they are at face value, without any justification or explanation.
I'm so tired. physically and mentally.

on the other hand, I know I cannot do that. It's just not what I do. It's just not me. It's outright irresponsibility and feigning ignorance. pretend all's well and sweep problems under the carpet.


I don't know what I'm doing anymore, and for what purpose.
I think my brain has ceased functioning.


but there is always hope, somehow, somewhere.
one thing that's for sure is I'm very very very grateful for my wonderful groupmates. :)
we're all in this together and everybody's putting in their utmost.
never fail to inject humour and laughter even though everyone is apparently worn out.

"3-way anova and 5-way anova smiles..." XDDDDDDDDDD

just makes me all the more determined to make it work, even if it means arguing with MY. XD

and to a large extent, MY himself too.
he has been a very patient tutor/lecturer and really, I'm just glad it's him.


I think I'll just go back and look through somemore and call it a day.
really cannot take it anymore and tomorrow's gonna be a loooooooong day.
another day of battle!!!

hopefully it ends once and for all.

introverts, extraverts~*

credits: tumblr.com

that's my current goal.

Introvert.

What is the very first response you have when you see that word?

I don't know about you, but I do feel that there's this subtle (or perhaps, outright) negative attitude towards introverts.

"Introverts are eccentric, uncool, unattractive, unfriendly, aloof weirdos/loners."

that's the kind of impression I get when I observe how people (people who deem themselves as cool) around me evaluate other people who are more introverted.

often, you hear the most malicious, insensitive and callous remarks about introverts.

and they have absolutely zero basis.

it's as if introversion is a kind of disease.

but what's wrong with being more introverted than others?

are partying, drinking, clubbing, constantly involving in exciting activities, engaging in enthusiastic conversations with everybody and anybody, talking easily and always surrounded with people the only desirable things to do?

are people as desirable as their loudness/sociability?

are the number of friends you have an indicator to your self-worth and perhaps your very desirability?

do social butterflies always win the day and introverts lose out in everything they do?

That's something I've always wondered about.

First of all, I'm an introvert.

and sometimes, I just don't understand why people seem to think that avoiding social situations just equates to unfriendliness, coldness and perhaps, to a smaller degree, meanness and being difficult to live with.

that's just not true at all.

one thing that's for sure is that introverts prefer solitary activities to social activities.

in other words, it's a choice.

and it definitely doesn't determine what kind of person we are, really.

deep down, as an individual, we might not differ much from an extravert.

we find comfort with our circle of close friends, prefer solitary activities and well, just find it more worthwhile spending quality time with those special people rather than big groups of people whom don't know very well and doing activities that are socially defined as 'cool'.

and some of us prefer to use the time to reflect than to interact.

there's nothing wrong, is there?

it's about personal preferences and not about capabilities or who's better than who.

in fact, many of us are ambiverts (in the middle of both ends of a continuum)

I'm indignant about this ongoing stereotypical concept people have of introverts. that introverts are losers.

(I have a gut feeling that this somehow translates into cases of bullying.) And that introverts are people to avoid at all costs, who should always be overlooked, not worth a second glance, not worth another second of your time. and worse, there are people who try to talk introverts out of introversion (!)

I'd hate to admit that this world is a world suited for extraverts.

(but sadly, this might be so)

but the thing is,

we're no worse than extraverts.

we might not be as sociable and assertive, but that doesn't mean we're in any way less capable than they are.

just like two people arguing over whether pink colour is 'prettier' than blue or not.

it's just a matter of personalities and really, sometimes it irks me to hear comments that 'cool' people have about the 'uncool' people.

if people aren't able to appreciate the whole spectrum of personalities and behaviours and appearances, then their minds are about as broad as the width of a beehoon.