Updates~*

credits: gakky.org



a) Now, I mind things I didn't use to mind, and I see things that I couldn't see in the past.
and similarly, I used to see things that I cannot see now.

b) Trust is really what enables us to remove our masks and it's the reason why we want to remove it.

c) I love to see people smile, but it doesn't come to mind when I look into the mirror.

d) Everything boils down to mindset and perspective. If I repeatedly tell myself 'I will be alright.' perhaps it'll sink in.

e) I hope to become the encouragement and support to my loves. But why am I never practising what I preach? It's downright irritating.

f) People can never survive in isolation. It's just a long, slow process of dying.

g) I am split up inside. I am conscious of the fact that I'm fortunate in some ways. Yet I cannot rid myself of gathering matters to mull over. But that doesn't mean I'm crazy. It just means I'm TOO SANE for my own liking.

h) This website is a manifestation of self-centredness, narcissism with so much randomness and melancholy. It's a record of words that displays my random self and depicts a person who can never be satisfied and views the world with tainted eyes. incomprehensible.


i) Stats is driving me crazy + I really like The Simpsons (SG tells me to find reasons to laugh and I'm trying) + SSO concert @ the racecourse + quiznos sub is good + playing yiruma's pieces when my exam pieces exhaust me + disliking the mad rush here and there from sci to arts to sci to arts... + good novels


my favourite alphabet next.


j) have to confess about something:

I'm counting down to the demise of this website.





And RIP satoshi kon, your works (the incomparable PARANOIA AGENT, perfect blue, paprika) are deeply loved by me.





at the most intolerable moments,
people turn into fragile florets of dandelions, desperately trying to stay rooted, yet knowing that they'll be uprooted any moment.

but perhaps, flying away is not so bad afterall.

Human being~*

credits: tumblr.com



I might not be as good, or even come close.
I have plenty of things I need to change and correct.
my self esteem might be non-existent, and I might be afraid to shed my outerskin.
my hair might be like seaweed, my glasses might shield my eyes.
'mediocre' and 'substandard' might be the best two words to describe me.

I might not be smart
my expressions and behaviours might not be so easily deciphered.
I might be reserved around certain people.

there are still so many things I'm uncomfortable with. so many imperfections.



but.

have been corresponding (sounds so strange) with かれん for quite a few days and I have learnt, yet again, new things about myself. That I belong not to the glittery world of clubbing, parties, makeup, gladiator heels & bodycon dresses. Instead, I belong to the little world of my own, of fiction, of music that are all over the place, of closely-knitted relationships, of tranquil cafes, of people that are meant to stay for good, of paradoxical likes and dislikes ranging from the simpsons to gory flicks, of glasses and comfortable clothes&shoes...


it's time to start feeling comfortable being in my own skin.
and seek happiness that stems from simplicity.

Heavy hearted~*

credits: http://her0in-chic.xanga.com



let it spin, let it spin.

if one day, the totem doesn't fall,
I'll break down and cry.

because if this is fantasy,

what is reality?


1.
On elitism and snobbishness.

it doesn't matter how much we try to prove our worth to others, if at the end of the day, we're still being judged by the very outer layer of skin, the vastness of your knowledge, the so-called 'appropriateness' of your mannerisms and behavious, the wittiness of phony conversations we initiate and of course, status.

M O N E Y E D U C A T I O N A S S E T S C A P A B I L I T I E S B E A U T Y R E P U T A T I O N I N T E L L I G E N C E W I T S O C I A B I L I T Y T A S T E S E X T R A V E R S I O N


you know what I'm getting at.


is it true that nobody delves deep within anymore? nobody looks into your very soul anymore?

that kindness,compassion,helpfulness,genuity,love,hopes&dreams,benevolence,HUMANITY no longer matter?

if so, then we should just let the world die.




2.



















credits: tumblr.com

I wish we'd stop judging, for once.
because we're all trying, trying.





3.
I have a question which I can't quite figure out.



"Love me for who I am."


I used to think that it's only right for one to love everything about a person, which includes the ugliest of the ugly, the most intolerable of the intolerable.

that everything comes in a package. when you love one part of the person, you've got to love 'em all.


but suddenly, it dawned on me that there's a possibility that this supposedly 'right' sentence is really just another one of those excuses for us to remain stagnant and be satisfied with our current state.


Girl: can you stop gambling?
Boy: you're supposed to love me for who I am!!


something along this line.


which got me thinking that
it's actually quite dangerous for us to be fully satisfied with our current state, isn't it?





3.5.

we're unique simply because we lead our lives differently.




4. i'm sad.

if we get answers so easily, then probably one day, we'll all stop questioning because there's nothing much to ask anymore. we won't run around with big, curious eyes, bursting with inquisition. we won't gaze into the sky and ask ourselves why it wont fall, why it's blue. we won't stare at the rain and wonder if the tale of upward-flying rain is true.

and one day,
we will no longer be amazed by sunflowers and sunsets. we won't be curious of the supernatural. we won't observe bubbles in soda with wonderment. we won't want to read novels because we know they're all fiction, we won't want the totem to spin because being trapped in fantasy is a mere waste of precious time, we will love according to value, we will ignore cries because we don't want to be hindered.


we listen to what everyone listens to, not because we love music like that, but because we want to be part of the in-group.
we dress like everybody else, because it's only right.

and soon, we'll speak, think and behave like everybody else, because that's the key to survival. (or so we think)


individuality just equals to outcast and eccentricity.

if a very ordinary-looking bespectacled boy comes up to you and tell you he reads Leo Tolstoy, J.D Salinger and Franz Kafka, and listens to Stravinsky and Scarlatti, enjoys playing marbles and taking walks, watches 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest' and loves sour plum juice,

is he a weirdo?
do we raise an eyebrow at him?


why do we think that way?
why are we so intolerable of people that are unlike the majority?

why should they be despised, loathed and laughed at?


so when we start questioning our own identity, we should really wonder if we're being 'true to ourselves' irregardless of social pressure and expectations.




5.
concurrently reading 3 novels at one go.

'The Love We Share Without Knowing' by Christopher Barzak
'April & Oliver' by Tess Callahan

and

'Nocturnes' by Kazuo Ishiguro.



'April & Oliver' is for me to read on a rainy, cooling lazy afternoon, curled up on the couch.
'The Love We Share Without Knowing' is for me to read on the train, at the platform, doesn't matter if I'm surrounded by the hustle.

while the delicate 'Nocturnes' is (as the name suggests) reserved for the night, to be devoured and savoured very carefully and tastefully.


yes I am very biased towards Kazuo Ishiguro.





what a heavy-hearted and wordy entry.

you know, people say 2012 marks the end of the world and I used to dismiss it with a laugh.

but now that I think about it, I think the end of humanity is probably more apt.

Humanity can mean both mankind and compassion.
I think in this context, I'm referring to the latter.
and without the latter, the former exists for no reason at all.



no reason at all.

astrud~*

what lies in between the conscious and unconscious?


I'm so sleepy now.

but as Astrud Gilberto's voice rings deep inside my ears, I can just close my eyes and drift off elsewhere, without losing consciousness to the world.


somewhere in between the unconscious and the conscious.

such
haunting melody.

my new best friend at night, when I indulge in my solitude.

although people say you can't love others without loving yourself first,
I feel that,

if you can't love yourself, then save the love for somebody else.



'serendipity'
I'm slowly growing to love this word.
because no other word is more apt.

updates II ~*

(continued from my previous entry. somehow, I managed to retrieve something back. a little melancholy here and there but, oh well.)




7. A little concoction that I derived from many days of travelling to school and daydreaming:


If,

we need to meticulously calculate every possible risk before doing something,
we need to use logic to analyze every little episode and event in our lives,
everything needs to be explained and accounted for,
reasoning is needed every now and then,
pros and cons ought to be carefully weighed and thought through,

and there is simply no space for 'redundant' emotions and imagination,
there is no need to 'feel with/listen to your heart' from time to time,
and life is completely void of feelings and sentimentalities,



then I'd probably not want to live anymore.



what is life without risks?
what is life without feelings and sensations?
what is life if we were to follow a strict path which gives no allowance for anything other than the right and desirable?


life will probably be as boring as watching a stone crawl.



but such a terribly plain life probably doesn't exist,
even if you want your life to be as predictable and constant as still water.






my life is more like an unpredictable sea.
I've been confronted by tides, waves, whirlpools, vortexes...
probably not that serious and unmanageable like others might have encountered, but still.



and now, I'm very grateful that the waves have become much, much gentler.



8. I LOVE THIS.


"Christ, you kids. The world is not made of cotton wool. You're not made of cotton wool, as much as you behave like that's what's between your ears."

- 'The New Girl' by Emily Perkins




9.


what a long entry.




you know, sometimes, I do wonder what's the point of penning down all these thoughts.


has it become a habit? or just a way to pass time? or just so I can date back to various events?
or... just to fulfill my thirst to write something?

when I read my older entries, I get amazed at myself for writing things that are so... unlike me.



I know there will come a day when I won't be able to write anymore. (when self consciousness sets in)
when I'll retreat back to confide in my old buddy - the good ol' handwritten diary.







10. the final note.


I'm utterly embarrassed of myself.


of the mess I leave behind wheverever I go, the tactless way I carry myself, clumsy, disappointing attempts at doing things, falling ungracefully, the ugly look I have on my face after I cry, the way my fingers won't listen to me sometimes when I play the piano, unsightly and inappropriate things that I write here, watching and reading stuff that are probably not really mainstream, possessing out-of-the-norm ideas, sharing different likes and dislikes with friends, unable to love myself a little more, my extremely low self-esteem, the inability to have that kind of charisma that I wish I had, the way stuff I want to verbalize always get choked up inside, when pessimism hits me hardest at night, when I ought to be grateful for so many things yet I fail to acknowledge them, the way I can't draw a proper straight line, being so so lazy, the way I always try to please, the way I always wish I were somebody else, for saying things that I don't really mean to, having headaches from looking at those strange circles and dots on the outside of buses, being afraid of water and height, the way I make jokes that I don't even find funny, the way I always manipulate my thinking, for finding it hard to be honest with myself, hurting people when I don't mean to, unable to make decisions quick, tentative when trying things that girls my age try, always finding faults in myself, letting my low self-esteem get to me everytime I wake up in the morning, always apologizing for things that aren't worth apologizing for, laughing at things that aren't appropriate, being insensitive, the way I love to escape from problems and sweep them under my bed, when I break promises, when I cut myself unknowingly, when I make random stupid mistakes, when I chide myself for being so lousy at times, for putting up a strong front, for often making people worry about me.....



I sound like some depressed, melancholic woman who just can't stop lamenting about life.



~~~~~~~~~~*

and now that I read back to what I wrote yesterday, I'm amazed at myself, yet again.

hahaha. I'm alright. I really am. :)




alrighttttttttttttt. time to sleeeeeeep! :)
oh btw, i got all my desired tutorial slots so yipee! :)

updates*

credits: tumblr.com


1.


"...Sometimes I think I'm a certain type of person, you know, confident, adventurous, brave. I don't mean I love myself or anything, just that sometimes I feel really strong."

"And other times?"

"Other times I feel like a different sort of person. I'm afraid of things. I realize I don't know anything and that scares me."

"You've got to follow your own path, be true to yourself."

"You mean seize the day and all that?"

"No I don't mean that bumper sticker shit. I don't want to give you some neat little phrase you can post up on your bedroom wall and recite before you go off to the shopping mall. I want you to know what you want and to pursue it with all your force."

"But I'm not even sure who I am."

"Then you're the girl who doesn't know. You're always somebody."


- 'The New Girl' by Emily Perkins.



this novel left me feeing really unsettled and that disturbing feeling lingered on.
and it gave me a lump in my throat.

is it because of its vivid potrayal of adolescence that I can relate to so, so well?
or that hidden in between words, it has given me an answer that I was hoping not to get.


that the world is really not a bed of flowers.




2.

school has started for a week .

it's almost as if the 3 month break had been non-existent.
no sense of disconnection and no difficulty in finding my way back to uni life.

it's pretty interesting, considering how it's a completely different case for me back then in sec sch.
during sec school days, when school reopens, I'll always have that mixed feeling of dread&excitement.

new timetable, new teachers, new sitting arrangements (HAHA).
a whole new experience awaits.

but here in uni, things are more consistent.
needless to say lecturers are different, different classes... but therein lies a continuity.

a continuity of... independence?


it's hard to put into words, but it's just that there's no longer that flurry of butterflies in your stomach when school starts.

or maybe, it's nothing to do with schooling experiences but more of... an internal thing.
a tired, old spirit and mind, too exhausted to feel the excitement. hahaha.




3. PROPOSAL


ladies,

how would you feel if you walk into a park in the middle of the night, with your lover
and you find yourself face to face with


'Will U Marry Me'


written out with candles?
























(not quite clear but you can roughly make out the words ya?)


aww...


on top of that, there were also a HUGE bouquet of blue flowers, heart shaped balloons and sparklers.



AWWW...


I realized I have a really soft spot for such romantic gestures. :')


When the lady smacked the guy twice and then had the ring around her finger, I had the urge to jump up and run down to give her a hug.

It truly warmed me up from the inside. :)

and then it dawned on me that I had just witnessed a marriage proposal with my very own eyes.
right from the lighting of candles to the wait and the arrival of the lovers.
amazing, isn't it?! :) :) :)



It's just so heartwarming to know that despite all the hustle and bustle of our lives, where the material and tangible precede everything else (or so it seems), and time seems to be very very limited,

people still take the time to concoct something romantic and memorable.

something truly romantic.




Then again, it really doesn't have to be something EXTRAVAGANT or JAW-DROPPINGLY spectacular like words spelt out using fireworks or some 12649187326718236128374384 bouquets of flowers at your doorstep.


haha. at the end of the day, whatever effort will definitely be appreciated because the message that one is conveying is still the most important.




4. CUT

I've got a pretty obvious cut that's nearly 7cm long vertically down from somewhere above my knee.

I'm always awed by myself, for I can get cut without realizing or feeling anything.



5. THE SIMPSONS

well, I used to dislike it, thinking that it's just some silly cartoon with a bunch of yellow-skinned people with raspy voices making jokes that aren't even funny.

but now, I've grown to love it. :)

all thanks to fox channel and some publicizing by kkun. haha.

and so, I watched the movie and guess what,
IT'S AWESOME!!! :)

now you know what I mean when I say that I'm full of contradictions and paradoxes.

on one hand, I really enjoy films which are not straightforward and require a lot of brain gymnastics, but on the other hand, I enjoy certain films which are simple and even silly in a way. :)

I guess it depends.


but of course, at the end of the day, complex films still win the day. XD

oh and I psycho-ed my mum and sis to watch 'Let the Right One In' with me. :)
one of my favourites.

why is it so lovelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
(it's not a question. more like a statement)





6. FILMS I'M HIGHLY ANTICIPATING


Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro (novel). One of my favourites.

I'll never forget how the novel made me tear and left such an empty feeling within me.


























credits: wikipedia




Norwegian Wood by Murakami Haruki

My favourite novel, by my favourite author.
the very first and probably the last novel which truly ripped my heart apart and then mended it right back again. which gave me a emotional roller coaster ride that I hadn't thought was possible.





















credit: http://www.letsgokings.com/bbs/f13/norwegian_wood_movie-151307.html




Hanamizuki starring Aragaki Yui and Ikuta Toma. A movie based on a song which I really like. A story about a long distance relationship and follows the characters for 10 years.





















credit: http://aragakiyui.net



I can hardly wait. :)




6.5

can you believe it?

the younger sister had to help the elder sister to remove a bug from her room.
the elder sister has apparently lost it and hit a 20khz scream.

"GET RID OF ITTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"It's against my principle to kill living things."
"JUST GET RID OF ITTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

so, the younger one calmly used to broom to transport the bug from her room outside the house.

(peers from the toilet) "Is it gone?????"
"yes."
"HOW?! OH MY GOODNESS I HATE BUGSSSS!"
"It's a very... docile and sweet bug."
"............................................(O_O)"


(mabel's gonna say jasmine is really an insect-lover. XD I'M NOT!!!)








~~~~*


oh man this sucks but a HUGE HUGE HUGE chunk of something I wrote vanished because firefox died on me before I could press 'save now'.

and so, those words were unsaved.


arghhhhhhh.


fine, fine. I'll write them some other time. :(

Live and let die~*

"When we were young,
and your heart was an open book,
we used to say 'Live and Let Live'...

You know you did
You know you did
You know you did

But if this ever-changing world
in which we live in
makes you give in and cry
say 'Live and Let Die'..."


- 'Live and Let Die' by Paul McCartney and Wings.

I've always had my own interpretation of what it means to live and let die,
as opposed to live and let live.



in an odd way, I find the former highly alluring in a very very dark way, while the latter is really what I always tell myself and the people around me, and which is, in my opinion, the way we should all live.





well, no matter how I interpret it,

the one concrete conclusion I can draw is that Paul McCartney really writes goooooood stuff. :)

Random~*

credits: tumblr.com

randomness defines.


1.

to mark the start of my new semester as a Year 2 student,
I'm rewarded with a bout of flu! yipee!
(and boy is my voice nasal)

and before that I was just boasting about my good health.
so seriously, gotta watch what you say. haha.




2.
I have been racking my brain really hard since n years ago to figure out why I have that almost deja-vu feeling after watching 'Inception'.

I think I've got an answer.

'Hardboiled Wonderland and the End of the World' by Murakami Haruki
actually deals with themes that are so strikingly similar!
the uncanny similarity between them.

I wish 'Inception' were published as a book.
probably then I'll start worshipping Christopher Nolan.





3.
(I just deleted a whole chunk of very honest writing. haha. I think 'honesty' is just to raw to be revealed.)


aren't you afraid


that after some things are said, they'll lose their magic?





4. L_VE

somewhere deep in my heart,
I've got so many confessions to make.

confessions that I can't bring myself to say, because they're such truly magical words.

words that hold meanings more that what those words mean on the surface.


feelings that have accumulated over time.



I watched, I listened, I felt.
It's as if I've been building a reserve of emotions within me.

beautiful, almost sensational emotions.
of happiness, of gratefulness, of appreciation, of love, of hope, of the mix of everything and anything positive.

a sanctuary where everything happy belongs.



I can go there when I feel down.
when the pain and hurt and disappointments become too unbearable.
the tears refuse to stop and static sets into my brain.



I'm truly fortunate to have this sanctuary.
created specially for me.


because you know I might not be able to weather the storm, that I am weak and flawed, that my mind is a feeble structure, almost hollow, that there's simply nothing, nothing to prevent my insides from collapsing.

because I am just not strong enough for myself.

YET.


so, thank you. :)





5.

I think my thinking is fragmented.

Am I dreaming?






6.

in black and white and grey,
in times new roman,
with none to few pictures,

and all the crazy, incomprehensible nonsense I write,

it gets so depressing sometimes.



but really, it's not.
for I write whatever comes to my mind, and they do not necessarily reflect what's going on in my life.

it's just a place for me to write you know, words.


like I said, they're merely words.
they can't tell much. :)






7.
I. CANT. BREATHE.




8.
I'm going to turn in early.

tomorrow's going to be such a loooooong day.


anyway, this is really random but

why is it important to hold intelligent conversations with people?
can't we all just talk nonsense and laugh together?

where's the humour??


anyway, so intelligent people speak intelligently, eh?
hmmm.



9.

happy national day!!

well, this is probably the most void-of-feelings national day EVER.

I wonder, too.




10.

may we all survive the new semester!! :) :) :)

Time~*

credits: tumblr.com



live in the here and now.


Not to be overwhelmed by the past and memories, no matter how haunting they were, or how beautiful things seemed to be.


what 'were' and 'have been' and 'could have been'.


rather, it should be
what 'are' and 'are going to be' and 'will be'.



chained to the past.
unable to let go of the many things that ought to be left back then, years ago.
unable to move on, unable to take in the beauty of the scenery that lies ahead and around you.


unable to realize the simple fact that, by doing so,

regrets are only mounting.






There is a bottomless space within me.
it is the space where many memories reside.
oftentimes, they'll float up to the surface and be revealed to the world.
all I need is just a cue.

A memory cue which triggers hidden emotions and long buried memories.
something which makes my heart stop for a second and the past to be flashed in front of my eyes.


I might smile, I might tear, I might laugh or I might just feel bitter.




as time passes, memories are accumulating, things are being forgotten, remembered, kept, internalized, thrown away.


the jasmine I was is no longer the jasmine I am.


because experiences are mounting,
and we're a second older than we were.




it's fascinating, isn't it?
how time really, really waits for no man.

we can't stay stagnant in a spot forever.
nor can we remain as we were.






the music is running, running.
things are adding up.
forward, forward.
scribbling, scribbling onto our minds, etched in our hearts.


so, we can only be carried by the tide of time.
never born to choose to go backwards, or remain where we are.


do you feel the rush of time?



holding onto both the present and the past, while timidly gazing at the future.
we're really... quite something, aren't we?

Updates~*

(that's pig aka seaweed no.2's legs, btw)



1.

Spent my morning flooding fb with many many photos that I owe many people.
I finally managed to upload a few albums. (fb keeps dying on me halfway through uploading.)

and looking through the photos just augments the point in the previous entry.




2.

Got this small quiz off the novel I'm currently reading

'The New Girl' by Emily Perkins



Do this:

a) Think of a colour
b) Describe the colour using 3 adjectives.
c) Think of an animal
d) Describe the animal using 3 adjectives.
e) Describe a body of liquid and what you will do with it.
f) Imagine yourself waking up to be surrounded by nothing by white. What would you feel?




ok?



Interpretations (give and take certain details):

a,b) how you perceive yourself.
c,d) what you look for in your ideal lover.
e) your views about sex (not too sure about this. probably you can self-interpret haha.)
f) how you feel about death.





let me share my answers:


a) White
b) Pure, innocent, naive.
c) Cat
d) Elegant, confident, intelligent
e) a shiny pool of mecury. Leave it there.
f) confused, panic, dread.



hahaha. answers not to be taken seriously.





3. fb is such an incredible social networking site.

no, I'm not trying to say it's essentially good, but just that through it, you can find soooo many people you've lost contact long ago.

like my ex-colleagues and long-lost kindergarten friends and cousins.


recently I just added I-chan and tattoobikerbigbrother from my previous company.
like, wow.

and my cousins from my dad's side.





3.5

I started to wonder what they would think of me, after seeing all those albums and wall posts on my fb.


"oooh. so wan qin is not really as soft-spoken and gentle and quiet like we thought she is!!!"


you know, I've always given people (especially relatives) wrong impressions of me.
I'm not exactly gentle, sweet and mellow and lady-like. Nor am I, perhaps, humor-less.

I just take some time to warm up to people and when I've got nothing intelligent to say, I'll just keep quiet and smile (w/o teeth).

and automatically, the impression I give them would be - quiet, soft-spoken, introverted, anti-social.

in order to avoid the negative impressions, I would then smile and nod.
and somehow, I would give them the idea that I'm mellow.


It's quite interesting, actually, when you think about it.
people usually pass judgements from what they observe.
Hence, all these judgements are fragmented and can piece together to form an image of a person which is completely off.

we are well aware of how unreliable such judgements are,
yet we still continue passing shallow judgements of everybody we come across.




4.

I'm more indoor than outdoor.
more cafes,books,jazz than beaches,bikinis,parties.
more observations than being observed.

yet,

there are many things that I enjoy which are out of my usual 'likes'.



but we are all full of contradictions anyway.




5.
bidding gave me a headache.

and timetable planning is going to kill me.



6. Japanese authors.

Mum: help me grab a novel when you drop by the library.
Jas: I don't know what you read.
Mum: Just anything by a Japanese author.
Jas: Anything??
Mum: YES ANYTHING.

and so, I borrowed 'After Dark' by Murakami Haruki (the chinese version) for her.


my mum read Murakami back then, like DECADES ago.
when I learnt of this amazing coincidence, I just went on and on about how awesome Murakami is, hoping she would start raving about him too.


Mum: uh. But I couldn't understand his talking sheep and cats.



UH.
how can you 'UH' about murakami?!?!?!


anyhow, I decided to try and light up her interest towards him.
like mother, like daughter, right?


but the connection is that she LOVES novels by japanese authors.


Anyway, I'm guessing that when she was pregnant with me, she read too much murakami. XD





7.
I remember I used to laugh whenever I read this part of the novel.
Then, I stopped and pondered about it.

It's really sweet, in a charming, simple way. :)

"I really like you, Midori. A lot.”
“How much is a lot?”
“Like a spring bear,” I said.
“A spring bear?” Midori looked up again. “What’s that all about? A spring bear.”

“You’re walking through a field all by yourself one day in spring, and this sweet little bear cub with velvet fur and shiny little eyes comes walking along. And he says to you, “Hi, there, little lady. Want to tumble with me?’ So you and the bear cub spend the whole day in each other’s arms, tumbling down this clover-covered hill. Nice, huh?”

“Yeah. Really nice.”
“That’s how much I like you."

- Murakami Haruki (Norwegian Wood)

by the way, the teaser trailer is out. (btw, the background music is 'Norwegian Wood' by The Beatles)

Norwegian Wood (movie)







well, you basically cannot tell anything from it haha.
but nevertheless, I'm really anticipating it. :)



8.
we can't live with narrow minds and hearts.

because then, there is no space for other more important things to reside.



9.

school is starting so soon.
I don't know what to expect.
nor am I having any expectations.



10.

looking forward to friday,
when the new episode of Annoying Orange is out. hoho.


11.
where are you now? have you forgotten us?



12.
piano exam date is drawing near.

a part of me wants to get it over and done with,
while another part of me wants more time to brush up everything,

and hidden away, a huge part of me doesn't want it to end...

although I keep complaining about how my saturdays are always taken up by lesson and morn practices,
deep down, I know I'm going to miss them real bad... miss having my saturdays occupied by piano, having a part of my life dominated by piano...


those black and white keys.

that have made a major difference in my life.




12.5
we should all

live in the present,


everyday.

random~*

credits to cousin aloysius!

(yes yes everybody showed their teeth, me included. anyway, this is a very very informal shot so it's kind of interesting.)


anyway,

I just don't know how to smile properly.
I can't smile, with and without teeth.

I find it quite awkward at times when I look into the camera and I don't know what expression to make.

It actually takes lots of skills and practice to look good on camera.
(WELL, OF COURSE THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS - people who can be effortlessly charming and gorgeous, so incredibly photogenic)

and unfortunately, yours truly belongs to the 'exceedingly UNphotogenic' category and who just looks awful on (and off) camera.


I find smiling and posing (formally) a challenge.
and it's worse if it's an individual shot.

Probably that's why I prefer those informal, stupid-looking fun shots.
because well, who cares how ugly it turns out to be when it's SUPPOSED to be ugly anyway?
like, just go ahead and make a fool out of yourself.
it's fun, actually. haha.



anyway, it's getting late.

to sidetrack a little, the bidding is HORRENDOUS.
never fails to make my heart skip a beat whenever I refresh the page.
makes me want to throw up.

and I think I've darkened about 21312 shades today. XD

and lastly, I've got so MANY photos to upload.


from discovery centre to national musuem to universal studio to allison's wedding to today's picnic&frisbee at sentosa...


okok. i shall stop being so lazy.


time to sleep!! goodnight, world. :)

Inception~*

1. Gakky's new song 'WALK'. :)

(it's the song for this upcoming bee cartoon movie that'll be screened in Japan. btw, if I'm not wrong, the bee cartoon is pretty popular in Japan. :))

her new album 'NIJI (Rainbow)' will be released on 22/9






I think her songs have a strange effect on me.
maybe it's her airy, sweet, feminine vocal.

































she gives me a pastel-coloured feeling.
like... a field of pretty white daisies.
so... pastel blue and pink, so cream-coloured.



whatever it is, I'll be looking forward to listening to her new album. :) AND to watching her upcoming movie 'Hanamizuki', that is IF it'll be released in Singapore.
*CROSSES FINGERS*




2.
and the weather is so lovely today! :)
an excellent day for spending some quality time with myself.

'Catching Genius' by Kristy Kiernan. (on my right)
Apple infused tea. (on my left)
and Ronan Keating's 'She Believes In Me'.


perfect.



2.5

anyway, I've got a wedding dinner later on to attend.
vexed over what to wear.




3.

and something random.
I think I dreamt of annoying orange but I can't be sure.

which reminds me of 'Inception', which I just watched again. :D
the second time watching it only makes images more vivid,
and the storyline clearer.

not to mention I was better able to appreciate the little, minor details such as the amazing soundtrack, rather than being distracted trying to work my mind really hard to interpret the story itself.































image credit: http://boards.ign.com/dvd_general_board/b5041/191844531/r191863394/

(it sounds silly but I do feel a little something when I see the date of release of the movie)


to conclude, 'INCEPTION' is simply INGENIUS.
A masterpiece for you to exercise your brain a little, and you'll eventually be rewarded with waves and waves of climaxes,
and an ending that enables your mind to happily dictate and decide.

it absorbed me so deeply into it, it's just unbelievably awesome. :)


83427384693287462 thumbs-up.

"You're waiting for a train; a train that will take you far away.
You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can't be sure.
Yet it doesn't matter - because we'll be together."

- 'Inception'

(and I have a soft spot for Cillian Murphy's ice blue eyes.)

4.

happy 1st of august.

another month has passed. (knowingly and unknowingly)

Happiness~*

(I know it's late but still, I need to write this down)



Everything happens for a reason.


And definitely, there's a reason why some people are in our lives now, while others are not, and probably never will.

some are in our lives to give us a hand, while others are there to bring us down.

some are there to soothe the pain, while others push the knife deeper into the wound.

some are there to light up your world, while others turn off the lights.

some are there to remind you how to smile, while others wipe them off.

some are there to make things a little better, while others aggravate problems...




life is hard,

too hard to be lived alone.



which is why,

embrace the people who have given you a hand, soothed your pain, lit up your world, reminded you to smile and love, and made things a little better...



just like a small seed waiting to grow,

some are the water, the soil, the fertilizer, the sunlight...



so as to help your seed of happiness to grow, and eventually bloom. :)







the most beautiful gift a person can give,
is the most genuine, most untarnished, purest, most sincere wish for another person to be happy.



to be able to unselfishly wish for another person to happy, even happier than oneself,
is the best gift anyone can give.



and the only people who are able to give this almost sancrosanct gift,
are people who hold no bitterness within, no grudges, no evil intentions, no ugliness in the heart.



people who will truly be blessed, who can truly open up their hearts to allow happiness to seep through, to be able to experience the sweetness of being loved, being cared, being appreciated...


for I can feel it.



I can feel it and I will reciprocate it right back to you.



to wish you happiness,
with every living cell within me.



because this is exactly what you ought to possess. :)