I feel like dying already.

A few more hours to go before my exam results are released.


I seriously feel like throwing up.

I shall go and sleep and see what happens tomorrow.



no expectation, prepared for the worst...

Simple Pleasures~*

Simple pleasures.









































































(http://myfunnyeye.blogspot.com)


I chanced upon several blogs which really fascinated me.
such lovely photographs. (of food, animals, people, sceneries...)

(this is lovely: http://aixxx.wordpress.com/ and so are the links!)



although they might be surrounding simple themes,

isn't simplicity beautiful too?






I wish,

I can have a lovely cottage with

a lovely garden (of lovely flowers of pink, blue, purple, yellow, orange, blueberries, cranberries, camelia, baby breath, cherry blossom, lavender, daisy, jasmine :), clovers... ),

with lovely pets running around the garden (puppies, kittens, bunnies, guinea pigs...)

waking up together with the lovely sunrise,

making lovely breakfast of waffles with maple syrup and eggs and coffee,

enjoying a cup of chamomile tea with a lovely novel...

not to mention enjoying the lovely, lovely cooling weather... :)



oooh. I'd better stop here now before I feel extra awful about the cruel reality. =_=
(by the way, the weather is putting everyone in such a crabby mood. sigh)

updates~*

1. Nose-bled.

Finally.

I don't mean to sound as if I'm relieved that I nose-bled this morning, but it has been nearly a year since I last nose-bled (which is strange since my nose used to bleed every now and then... haha).

Anyway, it didn't come as a surprise since I would normally nose-bleed when I have the stupid flu.


And I pride myself for my calmness and nonchalance when that happens. haha.




1.5. MORNING BLUES

this morning was plain awful.

someone accidentally (or so I choose to believe) set timer on my room's air con and this morning, it automatically turned off at 8am.


@#$"(@#$&!#@(!@


and when I got up to turn it on again, the remote died on me and refused to work (even after I painstakingly found batteries to replace the old ones)

and so I tried sleeping with the fan on but you see, it's actually very very difficult for me to go back to sleep once I've been woken up long enough to be fully conscious of what's going on around me.

and the heat!!!

on top of that, that's when my nose started bleeding.



what a lousy morning.


2. Hematite

Hematite:

"Said to be a good healing and grounding stone, it strengthens the body and improve resistantance to life's stresses. Hematite inspires inner life and helps to keep inward peace."

(http://www.all-that-gifts.com/se/hematite.html)


And so, I got my LONG-DESIRED bookmark with a chain of hematite gems! :D

I don't know why I picked hematite though. But maybe I do need that resistance towards life's stresses. haha. It's said to unleash potential as well.

Anyway, it's not as if I was really reading what the gemstones are supposed to do for you. haha. I just picked out the one that's most beautiful to me. haha.





3. Birthstones

Oh, by the way, do you know your birthstone?

A birthstone is a gift of a precious material (jewelry, mainly gemstones; themselves traditionally associated with various qualities) that symbolizes the month of birth in the Gregorian Calendar.


-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthstones


I was quite fascinated with it since I never knew there are so many different birthstones - modern, traditional, ayurvedic etc etc... and they're different from planetary stones etc.



Personally, I really love Amethyst, Sapphire and Aquamarine. :)





























http://www.randdjewelers.com/birthstones.htm


But I suppose I should learn to love Ruby as well. haha.
(and of course, who doesn't love diamonds ya? ;))







4. Flattery

you know, sometimes you feel flattered by sweet words and praises but other times you just feel annoyed because the flattery is so... phony (this word will naturally come to mind if you've read 'Catcher in the Rye').


Well, for example, you wouldn't mistake yy and I for fifteen-year-olds right? =____=;;;
I think that's a classic. LOL.





Anyway, I had this strange conversation with a neighbour.

Lady: hellooo! still schooling? *examines hair colour* poly?
Jas: university ^^
Lady: OOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!! you look sooooooooooooooooooo small!!! (direct translation from mandarin. she meant 'young')
Jas: ^^;; no.....
Lady: you really really look very very small!!!!!!! anyway, you've got 2 sisters right?
Jas: 2 sisters? O.O nope I've only got one elder sister.
Lady: huh? But I've seen your younger sister come out of your apartment.
Jas: *confused* maybe it's my elder sister? she's quite small-sized...
Lady: nono! I've seen the older one. but there's also a younger one! Like around 15-16 years old!
Jas: .... no????


for a moment, I thought she confused my mum for my sister but she knows my mum so... hmmm.


creepy.


(the only explanation I can think of is she mistook me for well, my younger sister??? LOL.)








5.






















(http://fuckyeahhappy.tumblr.com/) Interesting eh? :)

try this even cooler one: 52764631843147328 how's that. XD




6. Pet Safari @ Vivo

I think I can just stand there for hours looking at the animals there.
(KARENNN!!! keen to join me? ;))


I saw Cavelier King Charles Spaniel, Maltese, Shih Tzu and Golden Retriever.

On top of that, there was Black Winter White.
(I've never seen a black one!!!)


got me feeling really tempted to get a new pet. Especially after seeing guinea pigs (reminds me of my milo...!!!) and lop bunnies!





















http://www.eddiewong.net/2008/07/05/cute-bunny/



gosh. I used to have 2 rabbits myself too...

But really, before I get a pet, I think I need to ask myself if I can really commit...


probably not now.

At least, I've got to wait till after I'm done with my piano exam.


and plus, it's always heartbreaking when a pet passes away... it's almost like when a really close friend/relative passes away...


I'm sure Karen can understand that.

so, really. let me think again.





7. windows

from time to time,

we are allowed to peep into eternity,
hints were given regarding the secret to happiness.


we're always searching, always looking out for more, more and more.
ignorant to the fact that

it has always been there.

8.

you take it away to let them know what they had.





9.

it's time to feel blessed, lucky and fortunate for the things we've got.


be thankful, be grateful.


think about the things we have.
the people we have with us.
those who truly matter.

ignore those who exist to erase that lovely smile of yours

is that the key to happiness?






10.
I've got a MILLION books to read and I'm jumping here and there.

finishing 'Catcher in the Rye' soon.


no worries. I'm not going on a killing rampage.


not yet, anyway. XD





10.5





















It feels different when you sit in a car with those wedding ribbons tied outside. :)
makes you feel extra HAPPY!!!





11.

my nose is killing me.
(I think my nose is the one who read 'Catcher in the Rye'..... shit. I think my brain's infected too.)




11.5
the weather is another killer too.


it has been extra unkind on me these days.

I feel as if I'm going to drown in my own perspiration...
and it just makes me extra lethargic + crabby + irritable + restless...

and it makes me want to put my head in the freezer.






maybe i should sleep in the fridge tonight.

Wedding!~*

I have been sneezing, coughing and clearing my throat every few minutes and it's driving me crazy.
But that's not the main point here.

the main point is that I've witnessed yet another miracle on 23rd May - the union of HM and JS. :)






















http://chammiephotos.tumblr.com/

"You know, the bride is the most beautiful woman on the day of her marriage."

which cannot be further from the truth. :)

Because she truly radiates love, bliss and happiness that is of the purest form.

the day when the man and the woman both give each other confirmation that they're willing to entrust their lives to each other.

"Here is my life, here is my heart and I'm giving them to you."

and ever so carefully, ever so lovingly, they hold it tightly in their hands and know that from that day onwards, it's no longer just about 'I' and 'Me' but 'We' and 'Us'...

"Leave it to me, love. I'll take good care of them."

AWWWWWWWWW...


my heart always melts when I attend weddings.


It's just sweeeeet to the max. :)




Marriage is a big word.
which comes hand in hand with many responsibilities, roles, duties... and most important of all,



COMMITMENT.

the word which freaks people out.



which is why people who are willing to take the big step and make a lifelong commitment, driven by love and... the simple WANT to be with the person for the rest of his/her life...


are truly, truly amazing. :)






and hence, the lady who knows that she has found somebody who truly

loves,
wants,
needs,
loves,
wants,
needs

her...

will definitely radiate happiness.




happiness that is so, so pure,

it's simply dazzling. :)























I swear, seeing them exchange vows and wedding rings against the backdrop of the beautiful ocean...

I was just this close to tears. :)

jas: eh what's this case for?
yy: *knocks on it* for keeping something you don't want to break?
jas: my heart.

random~*

Mood: bored and sleepy
Music: Vogue by Ayu



1. SILENCE

I was just wondering what would happen if there were some emergency at home and I had to call somebody for help.

I haven't spoken since last night.


Jess: hey.
Jas: ...
Jess: I think I'm losing my voice soon.
Jas: O_O ...
Jess: There's a virus spreading in the hospital (where she's working)
Jas: O_O...
Jess: I guess I might be falling sick soon.
Jas: ...
Jess: EH WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET?!
Jas: *points to throat*
Jess: no voice?!
Jas: *nods*
Jess: *EXTREMELY LOUD CACKLE* XDXDXDXDXDXD
Jas: =_=


well, it'd be even more interesting if she loses her voice and circumstances require us to converse through the phone.

Jess: ....
Jas: ...
Jess: ....
Jas: ...


HAHAHAHA.


ok I'm amusing myself.




2. ROYALTY card

To correct my tweet once more, it's 'Coffee Club ROYALTY Card'.
(sounds so exclusive. haha)

By the way, they spelt my name wrongly.
Is it really that difficult to spell 'JASMINE'?


Anyway, I do miss my coffee/tea at coffee club at central. (my favourite coffee club outlet :))












































last dec with the girls :)




3.
oh man I tried humming a song and there's really no sound coming out. :(





4. PUPPIES

what if I were to have a dog?



If I were to have a dog, I think I'd probably have a Spaniel. :)




























awww.... :D


or a Pomeranian :)


































so pretty!


or a Maltese :)





























I used to be really in love with Golden Retrievers and Labradors.
(but they grow up to be quite big-sized and I personally prefer smaller sized dogs :))




























picture credits: http://www.puppiesden.com/



Anyway, I doubt I would ever have a dog though.
because I guess I won't have time and the $$$ to give them the care and attention they would need. :)





5. MIGRATE TO JAPAN?

haha. So many people have asked me that.

Well, I wouldn't mind if I could converse fluently in Japanese.


the culture, FOOD, environment, scenery, climate, people...


enticing as they are, there are just some things that will eventually hold you back, make you hesitate and reconsider and eventually decide that Singapore is still better. :)





6. PIANO

I ought to practise some more.

Finally, after so long, I am finally trying to make friends with the metronome. hahaha.



7. THEORY EXAM RESULTS

ohoh!

speaking of piano, my teacher msged me at about 12 am 2 days ago and told me I've gotten Merit for my Grade 8 Theory Exam.

:) :) :) :) :) :)


I SERIOUSLY COULDN'T BE MORE RELIEVED.


(aye. but no cash reward........................)




8.
looks like it's gonna rain soon! :)




9.
white tea, black tea, red tea.... in the end, green tea is still the best!!!




10.
Petit Provence IS AWESOME!! :D




ok. time to go back and irritate my neighbours somemore with my cimarosa, clementi, waller and chopin :D




(blogging is a good way of wasting time XD)

VOICELESS!~*

I was chatting with mabel when I realized that my voice got deeper and deeper and more and more hoarse.

soon, I was hitting bass notes.


now, my voice sounds like that of a cactus.



Officially MUTE!!!


so, please refrain from calling me unless you want to listen to a cactus.



random 1: Chamomile tea is my new favourite :) but it's sleep inducing.

random 2: she looks so sweet with bangs!!! :)

random 3: I don't know why cactus but... ya. XD

Updates~*

[written on 16th May]


things I always tell myself.

























http://fuckyeahhappy.tumblr.com





Mood: まま。
Music: Jay Chou's new album 'The New Era'



1. The Helix

























finally made the trip to the helix on mothers day :)

gorgeous, isn't it?
the complicated twists and turns. the way it interweaves...

makes me @_@ just following the structure with my eyes.


and seeing the 'GCAT' on the floor reminds me of my bio module and hence very naturally, exam results. =__=


someone I will never ever stop loving.




















to me, probably the most noble person in the world. :)
hope you enjoyed your mothers day!!!




2. JAY

for his songs, I'm naturally more drawn towards his ballads.


it's those kinds of songs that are not that easy to get tired of. :)

and songs that I tend to attach more emotions to.




3. LOVE GENERATION

yes yes I know it's a darn old drama but re-watching it years later gives you an entirely different perspective towards the storyline and characters.


not to forget the fact that you can suddenly relate to the characters.
(which makes me feel old again)



nevertheless, personally, I believe that it depicts this complex entity called love in relation to the modern (as of year 1998) society relatively well. (only that events are more compressed and hence a little exaggerated)


















"True Love Never Runs Smooth"

the classic quote of the show. If I'm not wrong, it's a quote by William Shakespeare. And the glass apple which appears everywhere in the drama, which symbolizes one true love between Adam&Eve.


A real timeless drama :)


4. KICKASS

haha. speaking of age reminds me of the recent incident when tako and my IDs were checked for an M18 show - Kickass. hahaha.

ok I must admit that tako must be the main reason why we got checked. haha.

tako = youthful and always bursting with bountiful energy
jasmine = OLD, overflowing with ARCHAIC thinking


anyway,

I don't know why I like this picture a lot.
made me laugh real hard.
(must be my super idiotic looking smile)





















you see, we can only afford to pose OUTSIDE the shop. haha.



[17th May]


5. TO COMPLETE




















http://fuckyeahhappy.tumblr.com/




6. Morning.

I woke up with a horrible headache, dry throat, puffy eyes, bad bedhead and well, basically as a zombie.


Coffee has zilch effect on me anymore.

Maybe I should try spreading wasabi on bread plus tomyam+kimchi soup + extra chili for breakfast. Maybe that would wake me up. haha.




7. PIANO

I'm worried that I am boring all my neighbours with the same piano pieces over and over and over and over again.

But really, wait till I get to my scales.
I think that'll irritate the crap out of everybody (me included).



8. WEDDING BELLS

I'm suddenly quite excited about the upcoming wedding :)

because I can see a handsome guy wear his no.1 :)

because I can listen to a handsome guy and a pretty lady singing a duet together :)
(after talking to them, I realized the couple had wanted me to play the piano but they couldn't get a piano. hoho thank goodness or their wedding would be so terribly ruined. XD)

because I will be able to feel the joy and bliss of the married couple. :)
because it's the first time I'm attending a wedding in which I know both the bride and groom. :) :)


I tend to get more emotional at weddings because... well, because!!! :D



9. POSITIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

smile smile smile smile
laugh laugh laugh laugh
play play play play
sing sing sing sing

live live live live :)



10. ORANGE AND PINK

in the future, I'm going to paint my room orange and pink.
HAHAHA.




just wondering,
what's the colour of your life? :)




11. LOOK HERE.





















http://fuckyeahhappy.tumblr.com/

:)








12. YOU.





















http://fuckyeahhappy.tumblr.com/


and hence, this positive entry :)


GOMENASAI AND SUBSEQUENTLY ARIGATOU!



random 1:

I was using 'Spellcheck' function on firefox and I think I've got 24383247 spelling errors.
aye. who cares. XD


random2:

initially,
when I typed 'The New Era', I typed 'The New Ear' instead. XD nice album title!



random3:




















http://fuckyeahhappy.tumblr.com/



I find this picture extremely cute and sweet. :)
I've got a thing for piglets. :) :) :)





shit shit. my headache's coming back.
okok byeee!

after dark~*

the night.



there are several things I dislike.

and being unable to sleep is one of them.


it sets my mind on a carousel.
and I become the most suitable victim for devils and ghosts.


night aggravates everything.
they magnify matters, emotions and thoughts.





sanity being put to the test.






suddenly, it started pouring outside.





it stopped abruptly.







I don't really understand what goes on at night.


do you?

do you understand?~*

do you understand?

if you have the power to evoke strong negative emotions and thoughts in a person,
doesn't that mean that you really matter a lot to the person?




words.

we hurt people without even knowing why and how.


because we're all afraid to be hurt.
so before we get hurt, we start by hurting others.


the tears that fall because of the words people say.

tears will dry.
but those words will remain.



you can always come up with excuses to shield yourself.
to give yourself a reason to wield that knife.
to slash and cut, because you feel you have the right to.

but that poor chap at the the receiving end will die not understanding why.



the complexity of human beings.



the denial.
the refusal to admit defeat.
to throw oneself under the sheets and force oneself back to sleep, even though we know bedtime is over.
and it's time to face reality.




I am not sad.
I am not disappointed.
I am definitely not hurt.



we always expect people to see things through our eyes, to comprehend matters through our minds, to blindly agree and oblige with us.

not realizing that we're dealing with real human beings who are just like us.


just like us.





so, we treat them like how we want to be treated.

that's the way things should be.



enough of blood and pain and screams.
time to compromise, time to drop that knife,

time to take a step back and evaluate the situation in a rational way.

the world doesn't exist to accomodate us.

we ought to know that by now, right?

lost and found~*

searching.
I guess we're really just searching for somebody who would find us, and that somebody is also someone who needs to be found.


like lost souls,


we all need to belong.

to be found, to be appreciated, to be loved, to be protected, to be cherished...


by the person we found, we appreciate, we love, we want to protect and cherish...





and
not forgetting, finding ourselves along the way.

all over the place~*

multiple expressions.
multiple sides.
multiple stories



the rumbling thunder and yet, no rain.

the helix

mothers day at marutama and swensens <3

mr curry + single shot of macchiato = extreme drowsiness (how can that be when the last thing a single shot of macchiato can do to you is to induce sleep??)

completed 'Suicide Circle'. what an insane film. (yet it's so... realistic in a way)

have been experiencing the half-awake-half sleeping feeling for the past few days.

gigantic ulcer (3 ulcers merged into 1)

catching old films again.

lazy bones.

the beauty of tea

started on 'Catcher in the Rye' and it made me laugh. I'm weird.

I don't think I'd mind surviving on salmon for the rest of my life.

I have sweet tooth. (kind of contradicts my previous point)

strange how I enjoy watching psychological thrillers yet don't find reading them particularly enticing.




went back to read my previous entries and realized that there are many many missing entries from my blog that can only be accessed from my dashboard.
strange... but maybe some memories are meant to be kept that way?

happy bday!~*

Happy Belated 21st Birthday Siewping!! :)


a night of songs, screams, red wine+sprite, food, balloons, enormous servings of cake, laughter, catching-up, sweet sweet video and well, lots of love. :)

We were still guessing if sp would start tearing but she's as calm and composed as ever. hahah.


anyway, too bad currypok and a whole bunch of 22/07 peeps couldn't make it. but surprisingly, eugene turned up. (and I bet he had lots of fun doing his favourite thing - sing)


towards the end, I think siewboon was probably drunk already. hahaha.


wenshi was so high when mayday's song finally came on.
just when everybody was already becoming 'low' and exhausted. XD
and jx kept praising ruzi's falsetto. haha!



anyway, I was really amused when my friends were stunned when they heard my singing voice.

"Jasmine! Is that your voice?!?!"

hahah. don't, don't underestimate the power of a soprano with a low, manly speaking voice ok? XD
(though I think my voice has become rather rusty already)

and singing with eugene is so tiring. almost like fighting a war or something.

girls, next time we shall go singing! :)




















(wenshi looks so scary here... but pretty eyes, no? :) and how come my hair looks so dark here?)


and not to forget,
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all mothers!!!! :)




by the way, is it just me or is the weather being so... unpredictable that it reminds me so much of a female's fluctuating mood?

haha. nono. I shouldn't be stereotyping females like that.
so, correction.

it reminds me so much of MY fluctuating mood? HAHAHA.

and my big ulcer is not making things easy for me.


anyway, will be celebrating mothers day soooooooon! :D

JASMINE~*

Introducing ..............





JASMINE.























http://www.jasmine-world.net/





JASMINE'S 'DREAMIN'. A lovely ballad.


I know it sounds stupid, but seeing your name appear at the start of the PV does give you an odd (and unfounded) excitement.


and what a POWERFUL voice she has!!! :)










anyway, I'm going to sleep. (again)

my eyes are still bloodshot and puffy.
you can actually count the number of blood vessels running through them. haha.


alrighttttt. goodnight! :)

random~*

http://weheartit.com/entry/2110611




I had to read and re-read that a few times to slowly appreciate those words.


really random stuff that are all over the place.


1. I'm suffering from sleep debt accumulation. again. and worst thing is that clearing sleep debt is actually within my control. ehhhh.



2. I'm getting quite annoyed at my phone.

first, it always goes flat at crucial moments. (like when I just stepped out of the house) AND its battery life is shorter than the amt of time I take to compose a message... ok kidding, but yeah it's SHORT.

second, sometimes, I receive messages only HOURS after they're sent.

third, I always get the '99% of your inbox is full' notification... ok that's my problem.

fourth, it seems to barr long messages.


... I think phones seriously hold grudges against me.





3. Time for the painful search for a formal dress for a wedding dinner!
will be keeping it simple, I guess.

like maybe a bare back shimmery goldren dress with plunging neckline....

KIDDING.





4. people I really miss!
karennnnnnnnnnn. need I say more?!?!?!
that joyce who's going overseas soon! :( :(
and that tako who just had her last paper today
and of course, my forever-wanting-to-die-and-forever-not-dying hot babe.
and my lao maooooooo!!
and that girl who just cut bangs (and freaking out over it). haha!







5. speaking of which, I was telling SG about my phobia of cutting hair.
I think my NH girlfriends can totally relate to my fears.

back then, when so many awful nicknames originated from how my hair looked like after a (traumatic) haircut.

and the most notorious 'helmet hair'.

oh my.

I'm glad those days are overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.



but those scars will remain. :(



6. those girls.
all the nonsensical nonsense we talked about, disturbing gossip, arguments over the simplest matters, loud, boisterous laughter...


as always. :)



7. I'm still tiredddd.
and showers in the morning just worsens it.

you see, I feel even more sleepy after bathing.




8. I'm reading

'Dreams of Speaking' by Gail Jones.

and I'm dog-ear-ing almost every page.

"... perhaps simply the adhesive quality of tunes that meet one at moments of vulnerability..."

oooooooo. that struck a chord.


and how do people write like this anyway?!





9. I just cannot do without breakfast.


I can't function without breakfast.

and my ideal breakfast?
it really depends.


sometimes it's waffles (preferrably belgian), sometimes it's yakun's toast and eggs, sometimes it's sunny side up with wholemeal toast (NO SAUSAGES PLEASE) and other times it's cereal, cranberry muffin, or even fried noodles/prata....

oh gosh I'm salivating.

ohoh, and COFFEE is a must. :)



10. I think I'm going to take a short nap.


(failed shot)





















sulky look that I have now.





ok sweet dreams people!

I need it~*

I need it.



that dose of something that I need to function.

that little something to dispel all evil.

that incomprehensible euphoria from it.

something that oscillates between sweet and bitter.

that makes you want to do a little dance and belt out a lovely tune.






... coffee? haha.



you tell me.

piano!~*

I can't sleep.

Not because I cannot fall asleep but because my hair is dripping wet and sleeping with wet hair is just an indirect way of making your hair look like a bunch of scattered pick-up sticks/flattened seaweed. (it can go both ways)

and my eyes are half closed.


I'm exhausted. Relax, it's just physical exhaustion (at the moment.)



Well, well.

I declined a job offer from my previous company.

I was pretty surprised when I received a phone call from J-chan, one of my closer colleagues back then when I worked there as a receptionist.

The timing couldn't be more inappropriate.
Just when I have made up my mind to focus on my piano performance and the final exam after a long, tedious process of weighing pros and cons between finding a temporary job and concentrating on piano.
Anyway, I decided on the latter and so, yeah.



because I know I will just stab myself if I screw up the final lap.
stab myself and die and then get up and stab myself again.

and I will fling my piano out of the window. and throw myself out of the window after that.



well, even if I don't do that, I'll still get killed by my parents and teacher.
so either way, it's a die-die situation.


I've come to the conclusion that yeah, it's do-or-die.





it has been so long since I'm so determined about something.
and I'm not talking about getting the cash reward (dream on) or getting a distinction.
I'm just aiming for a pass.
(and I shall see how long my determination can last.)




so yes.
CIMAROSA, CLEMENTI, THOMAS WALLER!!!

I'm gonna devote my time to you guys from now on!


and my dearest Chopin, don't worry you won't be left out!!!




oh gosh. I'm so freaking tired, I'm going to sleep with wet hair.
I don't care if my hair looks like flattened seaweed tomorrow.

and
you girls better don't laugh.

misery~*

credits: http://weheartit.com/entry/2086373





'Ave Maria'.



it has been been going on in circles and circles in my mind.


enough to engulf me and made me unconsciousness to the world for that 4 minutes and 13 seconds.


If only I had vocals as impressive as Kokia's.
vocals impressive enough to break walls, melt hearts, strike chords in people's hearts.





anyway, I think I enjoy torturing my brain and my soul.


I enjoy doing evil to myself and contaminating whatever little positivity I've got left inside me.



I enjoy witnessing the breaking down of myself.


I don't know why, how, what it'll be.




























credits: http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Business/pages-3/Publisher-preps-Anne-Frank-sequel-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side.html




'The Catcher in the Rye' by JD Salinger.


I fought my inner demons several years ago when I had to forcefully detach myself from the book.

it screams overflowing angst, extreme upheavals, acute sense of anger, bewilderment.


I couldn't bring myself to finish even one tenth of the book.




me, being ever so affected by words, should never go close to that book.


but it just appeared there.


I was enticed.


by that alluring sweet toxic.





a little like allowing yourself to get drunk

allowing yourself to be tortured by lousy lovers.

allowing a ice pick into your open wounds.




to me, it's not just 'The Catcher in the Rye'.
not so unambiguous.

it goes way back, way beyond just the novel itself...




I'm going back to that time again.




it's the time of the night.

I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.

for some unfathomable reason, after reading through the previous entry, I find it very, very irritating. pompous, even.

as if the words I wrote were shouting in my face.
it's so loud and shrilly...


just like the way I used to write about 5 years ago.

UPDATES!~*

http://weheartit.com/entry/2093242

[written on 1st May 2010]


1. EXAMS ARE FINALLLLY OVER!!!

and the same old rule applies here.
anybody mentioning anything to do with exams shall get shot.

you know when I feel dreadful, I really mean DREADful. :(




I've got about a million things to say, but now (with my degenerating brain) I can only remember a couple of them. :( and I'll keep them short and concise.


2. Adorable kitten

so painfully small and thin! and it was trailing after me when I was on my way to school for my much-dreaded paper. I wish I could have turned back.

a decision between being late for exams and feeding that poor poor kitten.

oh well. :(



3. Insanity

I think I was almost non-human during study break and exam period.

"yo LIFELESS"

my sister called me that almost everyday.


I was so cut off from the world.

conversations with human beings dwindled.
daylight never got to me.
zilch human contact.


ok. I may be exaggerating a little but you get what I mean.


sheeeeeeer torture.


(and what's the point... okok let's not talk about it)


and I started having strange, recurring dreams of furry animals crawling all over the floor.
mice, big rats, rabbits... they were ALL OVER THE FLOOR.
and finally, some unindentifiable furry creature (about the size of a chair) with flaming red fur and purple horns.

what the.





4. Insomniac

you know, I can no longer sleep till late late late in the early afternoon. (LOL)

I tend to wake up at 8 automatically.

8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when I can sleep till what... noon?


miserable.



5. need to make plans

for so many things.
for the 3 months holidays... probably for my future as well.

right now, I'm really just keeping them at bay.


but soon, I really need to face the music. SOON.




6.
a little random here, but my sis's alarm clock has been ringing for the past 10 minutes.

I can hear it from here!!! in the dining room!

and she can't. =_=




7. mothers day

no worries about it, really, especially if you have a mother who's constantly, CONSTANTLY reminding you about it.

"hey anybody giving me a treat? I think I've got several suggestions."


she's impossible.



7.5 hmm. I've got a confession to make.




that alarm clock that was ringing was mine.




8. Lisa Ono's Concert!!!

www.culture.sh.cn/product.asp%3F...d%3D3400


need I say more?

Definitely the BESSSST way to start your post-exam (post-mortem... but let's not talk about this) holidays! :)
an awesome surprise from an awesome SG! :D

and about a million thanks to hw and jaslyn! :D


I know after the concert, I would start gushing all over her mesmerizing vocals and all those splendid bossa nova (hmm!!!) songs. :) :)


I'm a real real sucker for bossa nova~~ heeheeheehee.


I've got a feeling joyce is staring at this entry dubiously. haha! air supply and now this... XD
(i think my girlfriends are all finding my music preference a little un-generic)

why not kelly clarkson? or... Show Lo or... Jay Chou yeah?


hahah let's just say my taste in music diverges a little from general twenty year-olds. (though I'm not twenty... YET XD)





9. But then again, there's this obsession with Ayu.
which kind of... contradicts my previous sentence, no?

(AND THOSE PERPERTUAL CRITICIZERS OF HER, I know what you guys are thinking in that evil mind of yours. hahaha)

truly awesome. and she did it again. broke the record.


"
Only female solo artist in 20 years to have 10 #1 original albums since yuming and only soloist since 2003. #1 for 12 years, every year has a #1 album. 10 #1 Original albums) Consecutive 2 #1 original albums besides the 8 consecutive streak A Song for xx-Secret) http://www.oricon.co.jp/news/confidence/75496/ "

via AHS forum


wooots! :D


you've got bleeding electrical outlets, strange models singing through loud halers, horses with balloons as heads, that lovely crazy 'bleeding-eye' make up, destroying your own posters with ugly, red streaks, defacing yourself...

all those crazy out-of-whack concepts and those amazingly evocative self-written lyrics...

83470823748623 thumbs up. :)



[continued on 2nd May]

9.5
8237418093740817238092 thumbs up for LISA ONO!!!

simply, simply beautiful. :D

that's precisely what I meant by 'music which teleports me away'.

her vocals are so... mellow, soothing, it's almost ethereal. :)


definitely deserving of the standing ovation at the end of the concert. :)



10.
























HANAMIZUKI! starring aragaki yui and ikuta toma. :D


please, please, please screen this in singapore!!!




tako just doesn't seem to comprehend why I love gakky so much.
apparently she has something against sugary sweet and lovely female artistes. :D hahaha!




























she prefers female artistes with... more oomph, perhaps?





















toda erika



like I said, I myself am not sure what type of female artistes really appeal to me.





























Hamasaki Ayumi (couldn't resist posting a pic of her)



Anyway, I sound like I like females.




11. I realized I haven't touched fast food for AGESSSSS.

you know what, I got a feeling a didn't touch them since the start of this year.

and to my surprise, I don't find myself missing them all that much either. =/



I'm so so determined to fulfil my resolution to keep my health in check.
(it was horrendous beyond words last year. my body was in complete chaos)




12. is it just me or is the new starhub channel listing just plain confusing?!


"Animax please."
"what number?"
"5 something something, I think."
"huh? ohoh it's 532."
"okok remember that."

(moments later)

"I want football channel."
"where???"
"no idea?!?!"
"#$*&!#@*(&@"

(moments later)

"switch back to animax!"
"... what's the number again...?"
"I told you to remember it?!"
"I remember football channel now."
"tsk... it's 5 something something!"
"ehhh... I don't remember!"
"NEITHER DO I!"
!@#(*&!)#($&!@#*($&!!#@$QIERUq3491#@($*.............




it's supposed to make channel listening more convenient... right?





13.
my mother is happily watching 'Pink Panther'. She was watching 'Tom and Jerry' and laughing really hard half the time.


well...




14.
I think I'm going to look for a job.

before I turn all rusty and useless and before my bank account becomes increasingly pathetic.




15.

I think my fringe is as long as my arm now.
and the hair on my head is turning into a bunch of snakes.





so I'm off for a much needed (and much dreaded) haircut!


bye people! :)