Mikuni~*

HAHAHA. Shimokawa Mikuni imitating Ayu.
Imo, her gestures and intense gaze (not to mention the dressing, hair and makeup) really captured the Ayu aura.




but, I prefer Mikuni as she is. ^^;;




These videos really stirred some awesome memories. :)

updates~*

@ Jiayong's wedding dinner  :)

Getting stuck between 2 stick-thin people. haha.

(and yes, I AM wearing my sec 4 prom dress and the 3 inch killer heels) 

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

- Haruki Murakami

I want to nod vigorously to the quote, but I find myself absolutely powerless when it comes to finding an alternative other than to suffer.

Me and my virtually limitless pessimism and negativity. 

WHERE DID MY RECESS WEEK GO?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

I had wanted to shout "I'M FINALLY NOT RUSHING TO THE TOILET" but the positivity of this statement is really... minimal, as compared to the negativity of everything else that is occurring in my life at this instance. 

1. Like I said, the recess week which went down the drain.

I wasted the whole week being terribly ill. That on top of the MASSIVE amount of work to do, tests to study for, readings to catch up on. 

And after one week of supposed revision and rest (HA!) and want to catch up with friends,

here I am, wallowing in self pity and frustrated at my CMI immune system.

So all in all, I've accomplished nothing during the week. (maybe except understanding the importance of a good and functioning bowel system) 

(@$(*$#%(&$*@#$!!!

2. DEADlines

They're not called deadlines for no reason. 

Anyway, after one term paper, another is due and then another and then another and then another...

Intermittently, tests would take place, which disrupt the work schedule. 

And so, everything will be pushed back and worst of all... WORK ACCUMULATION!

I'm DYING to meet the DEADline. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So what am I doing here, eh? 

You're right. 

I should stop lamenting and GO BACK TO WORK NOW. 

Meanwhile, I'm back to watching 'My Boss, My Hero'. 

MY BOSS, MY HERO. 

MY BOSS, MY HERO. 

how apt. :)

I should just live in the toilet.



Diarrhoea + vomit + diarrhoea + vomit = #@$(&!*#$&#@($&@#$!!!!!!!!!!!!



I think I've got 1.5 legs in the coffin already. -__________-




People, I'm not trying to cut off from the world... I just need a little more time.

And I'm genuinely bloody ill in the mind and in the body.

screwed~*

I'm both mentally and physically screwed.

Threw up about 7 times last night. No kidding. 

My world is spinning.

Literally and metaphorically. 

Stabbed~*

You cried,

he cried,

she cried,

they cried,

we cried,

I cried.

for different reasons, because of different stories, different situations, hurt by different people, extinguished by different people, touched by different people, shocked by different incidents... 

Everywhere.

they're everywhere. 

the ghosts. 

ghosts of the past. 

I threw my sanity into the drain. 

I crystallized my heart. 

Angel and Demon.

Deep within. 

I smiled and talked like I was still me. 

But,

I saw nothing, heard nothing. 

I want you to hold my hand tight.

And lead me to where the sunlight is.

Because you're my sunflower, 

to direct me to where I want to go. 

plant those sunflower seeds. 

please. 

Because in time to come, they will grow into sunflowers... 

and direct me to the source of light once more. 

Do you believe in walking one big round back to where you were?

Do you believe in the strange magnetic effect? 

Do you believe...?

I'm stabbed so badly. 

I underestimated my injuries. 

I underestimated the pain, the regret, the confusion...

but above all, the intense feeling of love, of protection.

Love in the wrong way.

Love in the most discreet way. 

Is it a big risk?

I have a belief. 

A belief.

I've had enough of myself and my nonsense.

I'm tired of not behaving like myself. 

I'm tired of being too honest and straightforward.

I'm tired of holding a blade in my hand, slashing everyone in my path. 

and last of all, myself.

Something undoubtedly died within me.

The wind is cold
I'm in tears now
Now I know it's not me alone
Who feel the coldness
But seems too late

-'Over' by Ayu

Daughter of the Moon~*

credits: http://www.webdesign.org/img_articles/6329/Moonlight.jpg

Why moonlight?

Solitude?

Solace?

Beauty?

Intrigue?

Mysterious?

Surreal?

Just a sudden urge to listen to 'Moonlight Sonata' by Ludwig van Beethoven.

Especially Movement 3 - Presto Agitato :)

I'd love to talk about how deeply I respect Beethoven...

how his deafness had not impeded his continuation to compose excellent music 

pieces.

and the truly heart-aching scene of him being turned around after the premier of 

his Ninth Symphony to look at the audience applaud for him when he could no 

longer hear the thunderous applause, which caused him to weep.....

But I shan't talk so much about him since that's not the main point here.

I've always felt a strange connection with the night, with the moonlight, the 

constellations.

(Cancerians are, after all, ruled by the Moon)

You know something?

If you walk along the beach, river or even just a canal at night,

take a look at the moonlight reflected off the water.

You'll realize something truly intriguing.

Not just the way it distorts and dances off the water.

But the way the long stream of light reflected off the water follows

you wherever you go.

Following you.

Like a guardian watching over you.

It embraces you in its strange, mysterious, seductive and intense gaze...

I'd love to be seduced by the moon.

LOL. OK that turned out funny, though it wasn't meant to be.

Just don't take that line as it is.

ok. goodnight people. :)

(goodnight rhymes with moonlight, eh?)

oh, and

Happy Birthday Dad! :D

Memory~*

"Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart." 

-'Kafka on the Shore' by Murakami Haruki 

Today, I went for a short trip down the memory lane. 

Memory.

A chapter in Psychology. (LOL)

A part of me.

Very, very cherished. 

The impetus for me to move on.

So sweet, so bitter, so sour yet amazingly soothing.

A very, very beautiful thing to have. :)

Let's play a little game, shall we? :)

"What were you doing exactly 4 years ago?"

For me,

On 18/9/05, 

 

Bad things that happened recently:
1. Mrs Wong announced that Amaths EOY paper's a KILLER paper. 
2. Have yet to finish Amaths homework (which is SUPER difficult) and compo and other hw tt I've forgotten.
3. Worried about EOY
4. Yet to send CME proj to serene.
5. Theory.
6. Extra lessons nxt week.
7. Haven't finish tching some chapts.
8. Screwed Eng oral yesterday. 
9. No motivation to study.
10.Tired mentally n physically.
11.Feet hurts a little still.
12.Screwed piano today.
13.Bad mood.

Good things:

1. Today's my dad's birthday. =D
2. Yesterday went to Mid-Autumn celebration. Had sooo much fun with 
Serene, Bernice, Yuntian n Zoumei. =D
3. 'PRIDE' on monday. =D


Try and compare and guess u noe wat I'm feeling now.

"What about 3 years ago?"

On 23/9/06

PRELIMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!! O-V-E-R!!!!!!!!!!!! OVER!!!!!!!

goodness. after 2 weeks of exams, it's finally over! :)

Ok. anyway yesterday Serene Yeeyan Joyce Angela and I went Jurong point for movie.
We watched 'John Tucker must die'.
LOL. it's those shows for teenagers, not those deep movies like Banquet.
It's good for a laugh or smthg. haha.

anyway, after that we walked around and ate at Billy Bombers again.
I had this super nice spaghetti, Serene and Yeeyan had fish and chips while Joyce had roasted chicken. Angela had water! and salad. hahaha.

We were laughing really hard all the time cos Angela kept making hilarious comments. LOL.



Finally we can take a break from all the stress we've had over the past few weeks.

=)

Alright. Anyway, Angela and I made a promise we would visit third world countries when we grow up. We would be searching an organisation and join it. 

=)

I've decided that I want to live more meaningfully in future. Rather than cooped up in my house, having my world reduced to my desk. Living a world of my own. Instead, I would rather hope to spend time in meaningful things.


Perhaps that has become my aim in future?

Does it mean after 16 months of living, I've found a meaning in living? An aim? 

Who knows?

"2 years ago?"

On 6/9/07

I ATTEMPTED to study but nothing seems to go inside my brain. sigh.
And I've been checking my email nearly everyday. *ahem* 
Sometimes I think I'm gonna get heart attack whenever I see Mr Limonline as well (through gmail, of course. don't even think of me going online using MSN $#$%*)
He would probably be thinking "Woah. Jasmine is really a slacker, man." 

Anyway, I like holidays particularly because I can sleep late and wake up late. ^_^V
That's the best part of holidays. 
And of course, the pace of life seems to slow down. Even if it slows down by a little, it's much better than the usual school days, when we always seem to move too fast, when time seems to pass too fast for us to catch up. 

*sigh* 

and holidays is ending very soon. 
then the battle with exams and PW will continue.
Actually, it never stopped. haha.


Maybe sometimes, we just need a little motivation to get going. 
To get our studying done, to get work done etc etc.

So, let's all look for our motivation then! 

星をめざして！

"A year ago?"

I am unhappy. 

1. Prelims

Total shit. 

And to think I thought MYE was bad enough...

My most dreaded --- GP. 

I've been a total screwdriver during prelims, I guess.

Screwing up, screwing up, and screwing up some more... 

(be glad I still have this teeny weeny sense of humour, which would've vapourized by the time I finish this entry.) 

These days, I'm getting obsessed with various dark, strange stories/movies.

Murakami Haruki's novels are great. :) 

Oh and if you like dark and disturbing films, do watch 'Perfect Blue', an anime film by Satoshi Kon. :)

it was critically well received and acclaimed. 

It's said to be highly disturbing and startling. 

So I'll go watch it later when I'm free. 

"Excuse me... who are you?"

- 'Perfect Blue' 

"THANK YOU LEH".

that phrase is always so significant to me. 

And now?

As of 16/9/08,

1. Had my very first debate on Euro studies. 

2. Had my very first mid-term test on Euro studies as well. (and I'm DOOMED!!!)

3. Suffering from a severe case of lack of ressssssssssst! T_T What's with all the cramming of info on Euro and impossibly great amount of readings I'm lagging behind. ahhhhhhhhhh...

4. Finally finished my Sociology assignment! hahaha and I'm becoming more and more feminist! XD

5. Looking forward to recess week so that I can have ample of rest, ample of time to finish up my term papers, catch up on readings and prepare for mid-terms. But well, most importantly, THE REST. 

6. I'm done for for piano! shit. 

7. Falling sick, AGAIN. 

Or rather, I have yet to recover from my previous case of cold 2156754231 months ago. =__=

8. Japanese Ramen FTW! :D (those really really authentic ones, I mean) 

9. Finally found out the reason why my dad comes home so late every night...

It's really not advisable to jump to conclusion from time to time. 

So, here I am, heaving a sigh of RELIEF. :)

10. Pardon me, but my mind is not working too well at the instant.

Reason? Refer to point 3.

11. Have been looking pale, with a strange nasal voice, lethargic movements, cranky mood (due to this awful ulcer in my mouth... think the Spanish Ulcer in France... OK ENOUGH OF EURO!!!!!! URGH!!!!).

Refer to point 3 again. 

12. So conclusion is,

Jasmine is greatly deprived of sleep and 

no sleep = mind that's not functioning well = bad mood = not much appetite = lethargy = headache = a cold that never goes away = a dead jasmine. 

13. Suddenly, I recalled this funny conversation between serene, joyce, yy and me last wed when we celebrated yy's bday.

"What's Teh...seeno?

"Oh, you mean Teh-cino?" 

"Not Teh-see-no?"

"I think it's pronounced as Teh-chee-no. As in Cappu-chee-no?"

"hahaha. If not, it's going to be Cappu-SEE-no."

"Yah. Then we can order a cup of Cappu-SEE-no and a cup of Mo-CHAR. XDXDXD"

"Oh, and a LATE. XDDDDDDDDD"

As usual, the person who makes the stupid comments is me. XD 

And this particularly funny text is just... super XD.

"Your weeding night is on this Sat?" 

OK. enough said. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD