updates~*

Aragaki Yui~*
新垣結衣

Mood: sleepy...
Music: Heavenly Days by Aragaki Yui (the second song on the playlist)


Heavenly days, in the room in the pocket of my heart
I look for your vanished warmth
Even if there's no way to feel you ever again, ah
Even if I stretch out my hands, you're not here anymore
I'll walk on under a new light.

-Heavenly Days by Aragaki Yui (Gakki)



1.
I woke up wondering if what happened last night was a dream.
(NO. PLEASE ERASE ALL POSSIBLE R21 SCENES RIGHT NOW)

It's a phone call.

A very significant phone call.


It could've been a dream.
Because it was too good to be true.


We were both searching for something then.
Perhaps, searching for something that would never change.

We both knew we hurt each other deeply.
But yet, now, we can talk about it so easily.

Laughter.
Words.
Smiles.

They all came so easily.


For this, I thank you. :)

If it were a dream, I'd rather not wake up.



2.

I've been putting Gakki's songs on repeat the entire day.

Her album 'Sora' is really good.

It's so relaxing, so soothing.

And strangely, it brings me back to the past.


The good ol' days. :)



3.

I was at a food court with my mum just now, after my piano lesson.

At Pepper Lunch Express,

Jas: Salmon Pepper Rice please. :)
Stall owner (male, 20 plus?): ok. EH? How come you're buying another set?
Jas: sorry?? O.o;;
Stall owner: Well, just now you came to order one set, right? O.O
Jas: ????????? Nono... I just came here. O.O;;;
Stall owner: NONO. I swear you came! the girl looked EXACTLY like you, wearing the SAME shirt, SAME specs, SAME hairstyle as you ordered the SAME thing.


The girl came from the parallel universe, maybe?

But it's weird. O.o




4.

I'm a firm believer of miracles.


Basically, they're everywhere.
All around us. It's just up to you to notice them. :)



5.

Chinese New Year is coming~!~!

I think I really need this break.

It's only January but I already feel like breaking down.
There's so much to do, so little time...
My motivation to go to school is just to look forward to Saturday. (and of course, friends. :))
But it's really sad.




6.

I'm starting to enjoy going to Cheshire Home after being displaced from DAYBREAK.
Especially the company of Viki and friends. :)
and CREATIVE time. :)

Viki: *points to Rina* are you from China? You look like you're from China!
Rina: ^^;; no... I'm a local.
Viki: *points to Pei Rong* you're from China too right???
PR: NO LA!!! XD
Viki: *points to me* YOU!
Jas: China????
Viki: No. Hong Kong.
Jas: ???????


another one to add to my already-very-long list of 'Which country do I look like I come from'.

^^;;



7.

Valentine's Day is coming too~!

BUT, it's going to be another year spent without a partner.

*shakes head*



8.

It's 12.54AM.


Which means... tml is MONDAY again. *GROANS*



9.

Fandom:

NEWS' new song 'TAIYOU NO NAMIDA' IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. :D

It's for Yamapi's new movie 'Kurosagi'.

Please go and listen to it! It's nice nice nice~~~!



Fandom 2:

I'm definitely going to watch 'KOIZORA'.

Starring Aragaki Yui!

and 'Heavenly Days' is one of the songs for the movie. ^_^

It's actually a very sad movie, if I'm not wrong.




Random:

I'VE NEVER REBONDED MY HAIR BEFORE.

there.

Many people have been asking me the same question whether I rebonded my hair before or not.

So the ans is NO.

hahaha. Must've been because my hair's SO THICK and ROUGH.
Well, I really think my hair looks like HAY and TOILET BRUSH at the same time.
-___-



alright. thanks for reading till the very end. :)


(photos couldn't be uploaded cos my com cant recognize the external drive. #$@#$@%*&#$%*#.... )



GOODNIGHT!

no.

GOOD MORNING~!~!

DON'T GIVE UP!!~*

Mood: =)
Music: MY ALL by Ayumi Hamasaki


Well, I have tons to update.
But for this entry, I'll dedicate it to someone really special to me.


からん、

No matter what happens, you know very well that you have given your all.
(ahh.. I know I've repeated this many many times. ^^;;)

But still, no matter what, the tears will still dry, no matter how many times you fall, you still have to get up and get going again. :)
Although there is pain, sadness and disappointment, it is only temporary.

There's never a rain that doesn't stop.
Never a time when the sun doesn't shine.

Please remember that.

Most importantly, you're really loved. :)
I read the tags on your blog and I feel really happy for you.

Please do not give up! Because you still have your family, your friends... everyone and everything precious to you. :)

You have the support of everyone!

I know it'll be hard for you to promise a genuine smile or laughter at this point of time, BUT, nevertheless, I hope this period of unhappiness will go away very very quickly. (like the very next minute! XD)


And no matter what, I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU!!! :D





In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
Ive changed my face, Ive changed my name
But no one wants you when you lose


Dont give up
cos you have friends

Dont give up
Youre not beaten yet

Dont give up
I know you can make it good


Dont give up
You still have us

Dont give up
We dont need much of anything

Dont give up
cause somewhere theres a place


Where we belong


Rest your head
You worry too much
Its going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Dont give up
Please dont give up


got to walk out of here
I cant take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That rivers flowing
That rivers flowing


Dont give up
cause you have friends

Dont give up
Youre not the only one

Dont give up
No reason to be ashamed

Dont give up
You still have us

Dont give up now
Were proud of who you are

Dont give up
You know its never been easy

Dont give up
cause I believe theres the a place


Theres a place where we belong

-Peter Gabriel 'Don't Give Up'.

Washing face~*

I was happily washing my face.


After rinsing off the facial wash, to my horror, I realized that...


the hair conditioner was smirking at me. And the tube of facial wash was nowhere to be seen.



Ahhhh. Please learn from my mistake.


-__________-""""

900th POST!!~*

Jasmine Vs SORETHROAT AND HEADACHE AND ULCER!

私は戦いに勝つ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[i will win the battle!!!!!!!!]


Mood: @_@
Music: Aisubeki Ashita (Fruits Basket version)

Sunset at Yew Tee.

(damn. I should really clean my window. >.<)

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves

-James Barrie

(AJC diary pg 7)



HAPPY 900th POST TRJ!!!!!!! :D


Anyway, to make this post special, I'll keep the words to a minimum. :)



1. CLARRISA'S 18th BIRTHDAY!

painstakingly collecting captions and words from magazines!

Sticking them on the paper.
(please ignore the mess behind. ^^;;)

TADA~!

The outcome.

It might not be the most impressive artwork you've ever seen (well, I got like... B? C? for Art last time. -___-), BUT, it's the sincerity that counts right? :D

you can also see the 'Chibi' Naruto drawings Wenshi gave her! haha.

AHHH~ Curry-pok with the present Peiyun, Singhun, Wenshi, Ruzi and I shared! :D

I forgot to take a pic of the beautiful card that RUZI made and (I destroyed a little) 2207 wrote their wishes for her. :)

I think that's the sweetest present. :)

School days~*

Well, if you came to my blog to look at unglam photos...

*~*~WELCOME!~*~*~*

I love the look on Wenshi's face. And Curry pok wrestling with the flattened bread. XD

Ruzi said Peiyun looked really nice in this picture.
I agree! :D

(Wenshi looking unglam again)

Ruzi <3 Wenshi!


When we sat at the parade square during break. haha.
The view from where we were sitting.

It looks different from when you look at it standing. :)

On the way home~*

Please don't forget I was having a fever at that time so I wasn't thinking straight when I took all these photos. ^^;;

The PRETTIEST photo of the day~!

Right outside my lift.

Love this picture. For no particular reason. ;)

FANDOM~*

KUSANO! still looking 'Notti'. XD

UCHI~~~!

Cheryl and I have been talking about how we hope that they would stand on stage once more (officially)...

Please return to NEWS and KANJANI8 soon~~~~!




And Ayu, please keep fighting!!!

OOOH GUESS WHAT?!


O's results will be out next week

AND

PW RESULT WILL BE OUT THE FOLLOWING WEEK!!!!!!!!

Get well soon!~*

Love can make a miracle.

I hope to get well soon. T_T



It feels really awful to turn up at school everyday in BAD HAIR (cos you simply don't have the strength to bother about your hair), BAD MOOD (cos it takes a lot of energy to open my mouth to speak), BAD EVERYTHING.

And I have difficulty pronouncing 'm', 'b', 'p', 'w' .


Sigh. Well, at least my upper lip is less swollen now.


SIGH.



Sing Hun has been really worried for me the whole day.

"Jasmine, are you okay?"

"Jasmine, are you REALLY okay?"

"Jasmine, you look so pale! ARE YOU REALLY OKAY?"


hahaha.

Sorry for making so many people worried... I'm ok. :)

Just that it kills me to speak a word. And the constant headaches just kill me as well. >.<

THANKS GIRLS for being so concerned for me! ^_^
Thanks Junxiu, for the msg! :D
Thanks Karen, for your msg on your blog! :D
Thanks Ms Tan, for your concern! :D
Thanks EVERYONE who expressed concern for me! :D

and


Thanks Sing Hun, for being REEEEAAALLY worried for me and saying that you'll pray for me. haha. :D:D




Random:

Today the GIRLS and I sat in the PARADE SQUARE during break cos there was no space ANYWHERE ELSE.

HAHAHA. It was like a picnic or something. And practically everyone who walked past us turn to look at us.

XD

And junxiu took a photo of us! >.<;;


I realized the next time 2207 can have lunch tgt at the parade square. That would be super cool then.

XD



Oh, and get well soon RINA AND SING HUN!!!



Random 2: IT'S MY 899th post!!!

SICK!!!~*

Joyce's birthday last year! :)

And my hat makes me look hilarious.

Mood: T_T
Music: Hanashitaku wa nai by T-Bolan
(this is one VERY VERY old song. But it's beautiful. :))


If we were to walk in the shoes of someone else throughout the person's life, everything would then make sense to you, even though they may not be right.




I'M REALLY SICK.


So I really shouldn't be sitting here.
I can feel my temperature rising. ^_^;;


I had a sudden urge to blog.


Like when you hear something, see something which triggers your waterfall of emotions...

and you have a sudden urge to cry.



1. I'm running a fever, having swollen upper lips (so suddenly, my lips look very pouty and sexy. AHAHA. KIDDING.), TWO really awful ulcers, a sorethroat (T_T), a toothache, sore muscles from tues' 2.4km run.

I really feel like dying.


Practically dragged myself everywhere and willed myself to try and listen to the lecturer during lectures.

Sigh. Oh, and I missed PE, for the first time in many many years.

So, you can tell how serious it is. T_T




2. I guess no one could tell I was REALLY SICK because I looked fine on the outside.


I always do.



3. Happy belated birthday CLARRISA!
(photos will be uploaded next time)

I bet she must've enjoyed her birthday a lot. :)
(cos of my handmade card, EH?)

Girl, you're really loved. :)



4. I told you, haven't I, that FATE has a sick sense of humour sometimes.

Sometimes, you really don't understand what's going on with your life.
One moment you can be really happy, the next moment you feel like someone just trampled on all your happiness.


I don't know.


But things happen all the time.
Random things.


We just have to live with the randomness of it all.




5. I think what Sing Hun said makes lots of sense.

"There will come a day..."




6. Junxiu: You're too mature.

Me? haha no...

I just use my brain at all the wrong things. Waste my braincells at the trivial things that no one else notices. Spends my energy worrying/brooding about everything and anything in the world...


In fact, I think I'm childish.

The way I view certain things.


As much as I like to say I distrust people, I actually do give my 100% trust to people sometimes.

Naive?

I get hurt again and again, and when I told myself, I'll give this person only 30% of my trust, I end up trusting the person entirely again.

And then?

Get myself hurt again.




7. Everything bad that happen in your life happen for a reason.

And guess what, we, ourselves, are always part of the reason.



8. I'm blabbering nonsense.

My brain is probably burning now.


T_T


Alright. I'm going to take a nap now.

Hopefully, I'll still be alive tml. ^^;;



Random:

1. REMEE! YES HEARD THE NEW NEWS SONG! :D:D what do you think of it? I think it's really nice! :D

2. THANK YOU FOR READING MY BLOG, people. :) I'll reply tags next time!!
(although it's really not interesting. ^^;;)

3. Received a present from DAYBREAK. :D:D

There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.
David Burns, Intimate Connections

FEVER~*

After many days of headaches, I finally gave in to my illness and am suffering from HIGH FEVER now.

T_T


Minna-san, please take care of yourselves! Don't end up like me. T^T

Dissociative Identity Disorder~*

There are times when I wonder if I suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder.


A part of me wants to do things right.

She is happy.
She is satisfied with her life.
She laughs and jokes with all her friends.
Nothing seems to bother her.
She feels like she can move on with her head held high.
She pushes the worries aside and enjoys life.



The other part of me thinks nothing can ever be right.

She paints a picture black and white, with occasional streaks of blood red.
She watches the world with her cold eyes.
She wishes to distrust everybody, even herself.
She hides in a corner and keeps everything to herself.
Life is never good to her.
Her very own existence disturbs her.



I think it's ridiculous. The way my brain works.




by the way, sometimes, all we need is an answer, no matter how painful it might be.



Don't we?

updates~*

Mood: strange
Music: Eien ni by Kinki Kids


Everybody looks different.
You're a Black, she's a White, I'm an Asian...
You're pretty, he's handsome, I'm not...

But looks go deeper than that.
And people go deeper than that.



Ahh, yes. School.

haha. So many things have happened in just a mere 12 days.
And I'm LAZY to give a very detailed illustration of my life in these 12 days.

So here it goes~

1. New Year Eve ---> Had breakfast at LJS with Yeeyan, Serene, Joyce and Angela.

I absolutely adore this picture! (even though im not in the picture) :D

HAHAHA. I look like I'm falling asleep any moment!
and I actually wore the same shirt as octopus~! -___-

Octopus and me~!
(it looks like I was stabbed in the head by the pole)

(continued from above)

oh, and I was watching KOUHAKU UTA GASSEN/ 紅白歌合戦 '07 on tv channel 43.
Was really touched by Ayu's performance of 'Together When...'.
Oh, and there was Morning Musume, BoA, WaT, W-inds, TOKIO, SMAP, Nakashima Mika (I LOVE HER SONG!), Kobukuro (LOVE THAT SONG), Angela Aki, Ayaka, Mihimaru GT, EXILE, GACKT (his performance was WOAH~~) etc etc.


2. NEW YEAR ---> Strangely enough, I have no recollection of what I did on that day. =/ Rushing homework, perhaps? hahaha.



3. SCHOOL REOPENS!!!!

- Timetable's quite sick actually. For example, we can have a 30mins break followed by hours and hours of tutorials and lectures. I mean, look at the queue in the canteen!

- Teachers- Only 2 of our teachers were changed. Ms Goh took over our class for Physics and Ms Tay took over our class for GP.
Ms Goh was our Phy tutor during the 1st three months last year (during the 1st intake) so I was pretty used to her teaching style.

Shall not comment too much (AJCians, refer to Ms Leong's speech last thurs. XD)


- CLASS - Nothing much changed. :) That can be a good thing, actually. Oh, except that PEIYUN permed her hair. HAHA. Her hair used to be very long, straight and silky. Then she permed it when she went back to Taiwan. It's REALLY PRETTY! :D

1st day of sch...

(On my way to sch, I caught sight of this really familiar girl)
Jas: PEIYUN??????????
PY: *turns around* HEY! :D
Jas: YOUR HAIR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! O.O
PY: :D:D:D

But I decided it's really pretty. ^_^

Oh. And Clarrisa rebonded her hair (again). And Junxiu's wearing contacts now. :)


We're starting to mingle together. Maybe not everytime, but at least that's a start. ;)


- TUTORIALS: Pretty much about the same. Except that we're in Block 2 all the time.

- PE: URGH. We've been running 6 rounds, 8 rounds etc etc. And I feel like dying probably during the 2nd round. T_T My stamina is really... @#$($%*&#$%*#$&%.

- LECTURES: Same as always. Except that we've got banding for GP lectures. So I ended up in Bridge 2 with Kah Ying, Rina, Wenyu, Rachel and Eugene. Oh. and econs lecture is held in LT4 instead of Audi. =/

- Physics Mini Project: HAHAHAHAHAHA! My group members are Samantha, Siewping and Kakei. We decided to do a proj on static charges. And it was hilarious. XD


Jas: *explaining the steps* Now, can we have a volunteer please?
SP: A volunteer with hair.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Well, if you don't get it, we need to rub the styrofoam tray against someone's hair. XD

And Chengcheng volunteered in the end. :D

Oh, and I loved Chengcheng's group's experiment. The one with the egg. haha.





- OUTSIDE SCHOOL:

Thurs: Went to LOT ONE with Huili, Ruzi and Wenshi. I wanted to look for a new bottle. (left my old bottle in chem lab and I couldn't find it when I went back. T^T)

And THAT Huili and Wenshi insisted I treat them to something. #$%$#%*(&@#$@!!!!!

So in the end Ruzi and I treated them to whipped potato. -__- THOSE 2 PIGS.


Fri:

Had lunch with Siew Boon, Rebecca, Junxiu, Kah Ying, Clarrisa, Wenshi, Ruzi, Sing hun and Ruzi's friend, Soolin. Initially Venetta, Cheryl and Rachel were with us but cos we might not be able to find a place to accommodate all of us so they decided to eat at SUMO while the rest of us went to AMK hub.

After that, Wenshi and I walked around AMK hub to search for Currypok's present.
And that girl insisted we go to JP instead. JURONG POINT! That's like, an hour journey from AMK!

But we still went in the end. T^T

And I finally got my bottle. :D

And Wenshi finally managed to borrow 50748 books from the library. -___-
We wasted 888452684 hours AND 80% of my energy finding/walking to the library.

(at the MRT station discussing how to get to the library)
Wenshi: Should be this way... here, here and here.
Jas: Nono. that way. walk straight and then...
Wenshi: NONO. this way!
Jas: !!!!! THAT WAY.

Lady: Can I help you? ^_^;;



I was mortified.




anyway, my legs were aching like nuts.

oh, and Wenshi and I are rich in static charges.
-___- I actually heard the 'ZZZ---' sound of a spark when our skin was in contact.


But nevertheless, we FINALLY GOT HER PRESENT. :D
and it was actually pretty fun, RIGHT, bookworm?!

XD





- I'm really tired so guess I'll just end my entry here.

:)

Some random photos!


(LONG OVERDUE PHOTOS)

PEPPER LUNCH @ IMM :)

Night view from my living room window.
(look how empty the road is. haha)

Let's see. Was playing 'PEARL HUNTER' with Karen through YAHOO MESSENGER.
And look at our scores~~!

It's a TIE! HAHAHA.

SCHOOL LIFE

BLOCK 2 classrooms! 2207 mugging~*

Playing escape games in school???

It's 'THE GRUDGE' game we're playing btw.

And I successfully influenced many people to be as obsessed with escape games as me. :D




Just before PE~*

Lunch with the girls!~*

Just look at the state of Ruzi's CHOCOLATE PRATA.





Here it is...



The most beautiful picture I've taken~!~!~!

...


....

......



(not for the weak-hearted)

......

...............

...........................



TADA~! GIANT MOTH OUTSIDE OUR CLASSROOM!!!

JUST LOOK AT ITS SIZE!

(Rachel and Weihong were really interested in it. haha.)

Random things:

1. I did it.


I showed Huili, Ruzi and Wenshi my AWFUL IC last Thurs.

T^T T^T T^T.


I bet Yeeyan, Serene and Joyce are probably laughing their heads off.



2.

Huili: I have your choir photo at home. Cos my sister's in NHChoir too.
Jas: AHHHH...
Huili: YOUR HAIR WAS LIKE A MUSHROOM. 有够丑的。XD

T_T

(I really wanted to say: Like Ruzi's in the past?)

XD



3.

Anderson JC
S14/95...

I think it rings a bell for someone.

Right? XD



4. Ayumi will be ok. She has got to be. :)


5. Facebook still gives me headaches.



Ok bye everyone~*

Thanks for reading till the very end.

For more details about school, refer to RUZI's blog! :)



OH YES. one more thing.

GO TO ---> http://escapegames24.com

prepared to get addicted. :D

Now or Later~*

I want to dream a dream of colours, happiness, love, rainbows, stars and hope.

Mood: =)
Music: 蕾 by KOBUKURO

This song has been putting on repeat for almost a week. and I'm not kidding.


Have been reading the novel 'Love in the Present Tense' by Catherine Ryan Hyde.
It struck a chord in me.
And I was flipping the pages with trembling hands.


Sometimes, when you read something that you can relate to, or something that makes a lot of sense to you, you'll feel this tightness in your chest.
This is what I have been feeling whenever I read the book.



LIFE HAS BEEN OKAY. (if you don't know me well, OKAY probably means GREAT in your context. haha)

School has been fine, my clique has been really really fun.... =)



Alright. I was really torn between updating people with my school life AND writing some thoughts that were running through my mind in the past week.


Hmm... I guess I'll have to go with the latter. :)
[I promise a PROPER update tml! on my school life]


Forever love.
Have you heard of it before?

It's not something that can be defined, or explained.
It's the kind of love that can last, even after the one you love dies.


Here we are, telling ourselves that we'll love each other even after we die...
But how true is it?
As time passes, can you still promise to love this particular person just as much as you loved him/her when he/she were alive?



"Love. The kind between the grown-ups. The kind that always seem to self-destruct after a while. It's more like the opposite of forever love. It's more like a time-bomb, and the real question is how the time is set."

-Leonard, age 17
(From 'Love in the Present Tense' by Catherine Ryan Hyde.)



Oftentimes, we lie to ourselves that after a relationship ends, we can remain as friends. And that a mother will always love her son.
But in reality, once a couple breaks up, the 2 of you can only become the most familiar strangers. And a mother DOES ditch her son.



We're always wrapped up in beautiful lies.


Aren't we?



It's only when we experience the intense feeling of hurt, do we truly understand what is the truth.





I was running 2.4km during PE when random thoughts just popped up in my mind.

These thoughts pop up really randomly.
During shower, just before I fell asleep, on my way to school...


I've been asked many many times...

"Jasmine, why do you always keep your problems to yourself?"


Is it a form of protection?


No.



I always thought I was weak.

That's why I can never tell my problems to anyone.

To let them know that yes, I AM weak.



But then I realized that I didn't want people to know my problems, simply because I don't want to break their hearts.

When you love someone too much, you will not want them to worry about you.


Because you know that, for those you love,

when you hurt, they hurt too.


And when they hurt, you hurt too.



Maybe, even till the very end, I'm still selfish.







Also, I have been thinking..

I think people are born with a meaning in living.


You have to find that out yourself because, who's going to tell you?


And once you have found the meaning in living, your days will be numbered.


HAHAHA. I sound so sinister.



But well, think about it.





Dying is NEVER about whether you WANT to or NOT.
It's about NOW or LATER.







"Hey Jas, when do you want to get married? by 25? (laughs)"

"(laughs) I won't even live that long."

her tears~*

Ayumi Hamasaki - Dearest
Uploaded by seika

Stay strong~*

Nothing is as fearful as giving up

-'Pride' by Ayumi

Mood: Depressed.
Music: Who... ~Across the Universe~ by Ayumi


I can't live along well as before
I'm not so tactful
But one thing I can tell you is
I'll keep on going this way with my head held high


- 'Winding Road' by Ayumi



I planned to write a happy entry about school reopen.
But what happened these few days just sucked the life out of me.


What am I supposed to say?

What am I supposed to think?



I used to take many things for granted.
Be it the people around me, the things I have, or even myself.

I used to think that these things would last forever, and I have everything secured in my hands.

But after the recent events that threw me off balance, I've come to realize that no, in fact, I have nothing secured in my hands at all.


Basically, I'm just a blank piece of paper.


Probably a piece of paper covered in pencil markings.
That can be erased off easily.


How easily it is to lose someone, to lose your way, to lose sight of the road you're walking on.



You never know what you have until you lose them.



She lost the love of her life, her best friend, and now, her sense of hearing (left side).


I read her newest TeamAyu message 205, and I closed my eyes and asked myself,

"Can I ever be as strong as she is?"


"Wanted to go to the hospital because i truly felt some changes in my ears..
Although i kept telling those around me that it's due to some new changes in the earphone..
Honestly, when the doctor told me it's not treatable anymore,
that it's too late, my mind just went blank.

Funny that somewhere in my heart i thought that if i took some time out to do the operation, it will be cured.
But i was wrong.


I had accepted the fact.
Furthermore i'm not feeling despaired, instead i saw the light of hope.
Hope everyone could understand.

Reason being, didn't all of u said u want to become my left ear?
Didn't everyone said that in order to let me hear it, you will cheer for me even louder?
Correct?
Thus, i have to more forward together with my right ear-san.
I'm not forcing myself.
Because to me that's a happy matter.

Please do not worry!!!!!!!!!!!

From today onwards i will continue to move forward like this~~~!!!!
Yes, let's move on together!!!!!
I want to show u the dream
it wouldn't end, wouldn't disappear..
I want you to have such a dream.
That is my wish.
Thanks everyone... all of u... all of u..."

-Ayumi 5th Jan 2008 message

Credit: AHS FORUM.




and the tears just flowed.
They couldn't stop.


So many things happened in just 2 days' time.
I experienced extreme happiness, and sadness.





Last night, I was listening to her on the phone.
And my heart just wrenched in pain.
And the tears threatened to fall.


How can everything be so fleeting all of a sudden?

Things that I was sure of, are now just question marks.



Is that what life is about?

Is it true? What they say?



That sometimes, Fate has a sick sense of humour.




I'm very sorry for the previous post. My mind was in a mess.



The Ayu news has driven the Ayumi fan communities nuts. One of the communites has decided to fold 1000 paper cranes for Ayu...



We can only do so much. The rest is up to her.



People might laugh and snicker.
"Ayu is just an idol, you guys are just fans. Is there a need to feel so devastated over this little piece of news?"


"She will be continuing to sing, for sake of her fans, until her right ear no longer works. If she wants to be there for us always, we should be there for her, now that she needs our support most."



And for the other her, the person closest to me, I just wish to respect her decision. No matter how painful the decision is...




And as for myself, I'll support their decisions. And stay strong for her sake...

ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!~*

I think I'm going crazy.

I wonder how my life can spin out of control so easily...


Although none of the issues have anything to do with me directly,

I feel myself plunging down...


I want to


scream,

throw myself out of the window,

smash my computer,

pull out my hair,

knock my head against the wall,

just sleep forever...

just sleep everything away...


just wake up to find this entire day a dream...


DAMN.
SHIT.
ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
URGH!!!


YOU KNOW WHAT HURTS MORE THAN YOUR OWN INJURIES?
THE INJURIES OF THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU! THAT'S WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


TRIPLE SHOCK IN A DAY FOR ME, DAMN!



I'll remember this day for as long as I live.





EDIT:


WAIT.

DID I SAY TRIPLE SHOCK?!


NO!

MAKE IT FOUR.







 

Another bad news~*

Life is so fleeting...

One moment, you might have everything and at the very next moment, you might lose everything.


Another bad news to share.

MC KING, the mediacorp artiste, passed away today.



Double shock.


Karen: Live life to the fullest. When you have to die, you have to die.


So true...


皆さん、please cherish everyone around you.

because,

life is really fleeting...

SHOCKING NEWS~*

I really didn't plan to blog today, but this news is too shocking for me...



Ayumi Hamasaki has announced that she can no longer hear with her left ear


CREDIT TO AHS FORUM:


Translation by HiruNoKaze:

Teamayu message 204:


My frank resolution for this year.

The truth is, last year, I had an ear check-up, my diagnosis being that my left ear has completely lost all function and that there is no treatment.

Even so, I want to keep being a singer.

That's why I'll keep singing as long as this remaining right ear works, to its limit.

I won't quit.

I won't make excuses.

As a professional, I will sing the best songs for you*.

I don't really like the word "ganbaru," but...

I will ganbaru**!!!!! At all costs!!!!!!!!!

Until that day, someday...




Ayu is strong. She's really really strong...

I was so stunned by the news that I really don't know what more to say other than



どうか神様、浜崎あゆみさんに勇気をください。。。
[Kami-sama, please give Hamasaki Ayumi courage...]


Be strong!

Happy New Year!!~* :D:D:D

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D

May the year ahead be a wonderful year for all of you!

More laughter, more happiness, more smiles, more love!!! :D








HOPEFULLY, 2008 WILL BE AN AMAZING YEAR FOR ALL OF US!! ^_^Y




which means well, TML'S SCH REOPEN!!!!
*groaaaaaaaaaaans*






P.S: NEWS/KANJANI8 fans, NO UCHI OR KUSANO. T^T *shakes head*