AWFUL!!!~*

Where did I come from? Where am I going to?

(Leah Dizon's photobook)

Mood: SHIT.
Music: SHIT. just kidding. Aozora by Kinki Kids


BLAST YOUR SPEAKERS!!!
Ayumi's new song 'Together When...'!!!
though I've listened to it for more than 48985000 times. XD

Just read KAREN's blog and felt the sudden urge to blog too.
Take a look at her blog and then compare with mine.
If hers is the sunshine, then mine is the rain. HAHA.

Please don't mind the weird way I'm writing.
Too many late nights have FINALLY resulted in some undesirable effects.

1.
Right now, my mouth feels dry and is covered with ulcers. =___=
And I feel like I've eaten a huge 25kg bag of hay + cement + nails + screws.
Yeah. Screw myself.
PLUS, my eyes look damn swollen and I feel lethargic.
ohoh, and my hair shoots out from all different directions too.

Awesome.

Anyone who sees me in this state will probably call for an exorcist or smth. XD

Mum: hmm.. didn't sleep well last night yeah? *without looking up from her 'Nada Sou Sou' novel*

Didn't sleep well?!?!?!?!?!
Or should it simply be 'Didn't sleep at all yeah?'

DAMN!
There are so many things swimming around my brain, I find it super difficult to fall asleep.
Plus, once I fall asleep, I start dreaming all sorts of weird dreams.

For example, last night, I dreamt of
1. PW GROUP (Wenshi, Ruzi, Joyce and Eugene) PLUS
2. AJC teachers PLUS
3. the entire 4o8'06 PLUS
4. Nanhua Teachers PLUS
5. my family

like WTH?! if it were you, you would be super tired after dreaming such a ridiculous dream, won't you? =___=


I seriously need 125784650000 cups of coffee to wake me up cos for your info, I'm still drifting in and out of sleep, something I'm seriously deprived of. @_@


2. I'm OFFICIALLY BROKE.

Damn. I doubt I can survive the rest of November and December.
From today onwards, I'm gonna spend a max of $2 a day. haha.

Seems like an impossible target, ねえ？XD



3. Last night had dinner with clique! :D

Went to causeway point to meet Yeeyan and Serene first. (Poor poor Joyce had CIP stuff and was at BEDOK, which is at the opposite end of Singapore)
Then we walked around and settled on Swensens.

Spent 1896752 hours to decide on what to eat.
For your info, I'm a Salmon lover. ;D

Yeeyan settled on a fish/chicken and chips. HAHAHA.
Well, she couldn't tell fish from chicken. XD

Serene settled on the Crayfish pasta *smirk at Karen. cRayfish. haha*

While eating, we discussed about gossip such as

1. a boy being raped by 5 other boys.
2. a Japanese schoolboy who chopped off his mum's head and brought it to school (my idol, really)
3. a Japanese girl who killed herself after reading an anonymous mail consisting of insults.


*shakes head*

then after that, Joyce arrived, half-dead.
(well, anyone would be half dead after travelling from Bedok to Woodlands)

haha. Then we walked around and crapped.

After that, we went to the night market and then to Lot 1. (I'm summarizing the points, which is Serene's favourite thing to do. ;))

It was over there that I got my new nickname, W*** O*. I simply can't bring myself to reveal it cos it's way too...

*ahem* anyway, after that we left for home.


:)



4. Went out with Serene on Wed to town. :)

All you need to know is that we completely lost our mind and spent nearly 5 hours singing karaoke. HAHAHA.

From KAT-TUN to NEWS to Ayumi to BoA to Kaoru Amane to Tackey & Tsubasa to SMAP to Arashi to 'Shuji to Akira' to SHOUNENTAI (HAHAHA) to Hikaru Genji to Kinki Kids.

awesome, isn't it? haha.

And the Christmas deco at Orchard is really gorgeous. :D
took tons of pictures. haha.


5. I still feel awful. AWFUL to the max.
Tonight, I swear to sleep by 11.

no, maybe 12. XD


6. These days, my sister is in a really crabby mood.
And trust me, you don't really want to get near her when she's in one of her stupid mood swings.

She bites. Period.


7.
Horoscope for the day:

"Oh dear; today, Cancer, you should definitely count to ten before speaking, because yesterday’s insecurity is likely to switch into a surplus of confidence. Be delicate; be tactful, and be diplomatic. A piece of moonstone might help temper those moments of thoughtlessness!"

oh damn it. And my mood is rated 3/5.

HUH. Shouldn't it be


3/50000000000000000000000000000000000?

I think that makes more sense.




URGH!!!!!! I NEED RED BULL!!!!!!!


Random: I just found out that in front, when I wrote (point 2) about saving money for the rest of Nov, I really mean today, cos today's the last day of the month.

*GASP* WHERE DID MY NOVEMBER GO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


Random 2: A random joke I told my friends last night.

小白+ 小白= ？？？？


answers will be revealed in the next entry. *gets boxed up by readers*


Random 3: I found the reason for blogging.






I'm off to practise piano!!! (that is if I am awake enough to play the piano.)



reply to tags:

Raphael~* Hey! good luck for your common test then! :D Continue updating your blog. It's breeding spiders already. haha.

Rawrr~* you're welcome! :) I loved that song as well.

Jun~* yes yes yes. I've updated now, happy? haha. together with a LEAH picture.

Christina~* YES I'VE FINALLY UPDATED! :D

=)~* thanks! :D yup. I hope so too. But I wonder when that day will come. :)

Kin~* ENOUGH. I'VE UPDATED. :D

update + replies~*

Ayumi's new album 'Together When...' will be released on 01.01.08! :D
(above picture is the album cover. ahh. gorgeous.)

Music: Hear Me Cry by Cagnet

Can you hear me cry?
(Did you ask youself why?)


1. I'm officially addicted to crunchyroll.com
And of all things I can watch, I'm re-watching old Japanese dramas and animes.

How old can those dramas get? Hmm... Let's see. How about 'LOVE GENERATION'? XD
HAHAHAHA.



2. Tell you what. I'm still full from last night's SAKAE SUSHI BUFFET. XD

goodness. I wonder how can that guy who won the 'Sushi Challenge' finish.... 35 plates of sushi?! O.O



3. Went to arcade with Yeeyan and Serene last night. haha.
I feel so out-dated when I stepped inside the arcade. Like, I can't recognize half of those weird machines. Tsk.

Played Datona (sp??) and guessed what, I still suck at it. =___=

It's been 2 years plus since I last stepped into an arcade.

Ahhh. I feel so old.



4. I'm going to reply tags now! *Cue to applaud*
FINALLY!

REPLIES~!

Rachel~* I hope you MSN's ok now. yes. It was really torturous for me in the beginning but I got used to it. ^^;; use YAHOO MESSENGER! haha.

Kin~* you're so random, I don't even know how to reply your tags. HELLO!!!!!

Junxiu~* haha the marshmallows were yummy~~~~! *evil laughter* nvm there's still chance to eat them again in future. If we hold another BBQ. ^^ you organise! :D

Karen~* I'm updating now. Finally. haha. Anyway, this entry is short and sweet. ^^ and happy. Yeah. sometimes, don't you think we live like we're not ourselves? hard to explain, but you get what I mean right? NVM la. at least we have a chance to live.

Tiffany~* you're one of the most optimistic person I've seen in my life. haha. what picture?? anw, how's life? :) MSN? who cares?!

Cheryl~* there'll definitely be a chance in future! ^_^ Organise a class gathering again ba! haha.

Christ~* you're always so vulgar. haha. I should just put a picture of you. XD and please don't fight in here. you two. haha. or I'll put a password and shut both of you out. hahaha.

Raphael~* WOW. it's ages since you last tagged my blog/visit my blog. haha. so how's life?

Jun~* haha yes I've chilled down. What's up with you these days?

Ruzi~* you're so UNOBSERVANT! haha. yes of course. that music rocks man! haha. SALK'S THE MAN!!!!! XD and when are we going OUT EHHHH???

Mou~* hahaha. it's out long time ago le. XD if it's not R21 I'm definitely going to watch. But anyway, my sis watched le. and she told me the entire story. haha. GROSS.

Bernice~* HAHAHAHA. izzit?! XD anyway, where did your blog go?!





There. Done. haha. now I'm off to watch even older dramas! haha.

Ciao~!

Key~*

ヤッパリ、it's back to Ayumi's song again. :)


KEY
Lyrics: Ayumi Hamasaki


If I could use lots of colors
and draw my feelings,
I'd pick up a brush and
paint a picture.

If I could line up lots of words
and choose my feelings,
I'd pick up a pen
and write a letter.

But I can't do that, so
I decided to sing this song.
I can't do anything else.
I turn they key and send it to you.

In your days of tears
I embraced one strength and
promised to be by your side.

So you don't need to cry,
even though I can't explain it very well.

In your days of smiles
I want to embrace and praise two kindnesses,
that we thought of each other.

From now until forever...

one day~*

Sometimes, I just want to be who I am, and not be who you want me to be.

If only life were that simple, if only you can show your true self to everyone and anyone.


Maybe, life isn't that complicating from the very start.



I have to admit that I lost certain things.

But, I've also gained some.


I might not have gained a lot, but at least, I know these are the things that I don't ever want to lose.


Jasmine, what's so bad about being yourself in front of everyone?


Everything's bad. That's all.




But, one day


one fine day, I'll be who I am, and not be who you want me to be.


One day.

random~*

Sometimes,

instead of thinking how life can be better,
why not think about how life could have been worse?

:)

Green tea~*

Genuine smiles.

I really adore the photos from Leah Dizon's 'HEAVEN' photobook.
Btw, it's another HUGE photo. :)


Mood: odd.
Music: Hanashitaku wa nai by T-Bolan


You never know what you had until you lose them.
And you never know what you don't have until you have them.


This is gonna be another random entry. ^^;;
(and I might sound a little eccentric.)


1. Currently drinking a 900g bottle of genuine GREEN TEA, imported from Japan.
And goodness me. It's nothing like the green tea here in Singapore.
Since it's not sweetened, you can really taste the genuine taste of green tea.

Ahh. the beauty of Jasmine.

HAHAHA.


*If I were to finish the entire bottle by the end of this entry, I will write something funny at the end of it.


2. Just home not long ago from an outing with KAREN.
It's been ages since I last stepped into IMM.
and of course, it's been ages since I last met up with Karen. :)

Really really miss those good old days. :)



3. Ruzi and Wenshi invaded my house again yesterday.
We watched 'SAW' together and you know what?
We should NEVER watch suspense/thrillers/horror films together cos all the suspense just sort of evaporate into thin air.

*a person crawled out from the back door of a car, wearing a mask*
Us: ........... *getting quite scared*

...
....
.....
......

Wenshi: Is that a Polio victim? XD
Jas: =_________=""""


Note: Wenshi, Ruzi and I did on Jonas Salk for our project work, who is the inventor of the Polio vaccine. So as our grp leader, Wenshi's naturally obsessed with Polio. There are 3 types of Polio and one of which is Paralytic Polio, which causes paralysis (reminds me of Wenshi's OP), which sort of explains why that person crawling reminded our crazy group leader of Polio. ^^


4. I haven't touch any of my holidays assignment yet.

I'm dead. X_X



5. I'm really sorry for the previous entry, which is so angsty and crude.

Frustration got the better of me, I guess.

I'm feeling better now. Much much better.


Sometimes, it's good to leave things as they are.
And allow time to slowly heal the wounds, however long it would take.



6. I have to admit that sometimes I do feel as if the whole world owes me a living.

And I hate that feeling, that side of me.


But the feeling I hate most is when I understand what I'm doing is wrong, but still go ahead with it.
And when I understand that I'm harbouring some evil thoughts, but still keep on thinking about them.


Like, damn myself. seriously.



7. I have long established the fact that I have extremely low self-esteem.


And I'm surprised it can get even lower.



8. You're such a beautiful liar.



9. We will probably be hurt most by the person most treasured by us.




10. Reality = Worst case scenario






I told you. I'm going to sound really eccentric.



haha. You know what? I haven't finish the bottle of green tea.


Maybe, all along, I never intended to finish it.

Bastard~*

Solitariness

Beautiful, isn't it? This picture of Leah Dizon. From her new photobook 'HEAVEN'.
Click it for a larger version.
For you info, it's HUGE. :)


Have been going out for the past 2 days.
And seems like the last time I was home for dinner was... Sunday? haha.

Going out is supposed to prevent me from letting my mind wander off somewhere else.
But somehow, my mind still wanders elsewhere no matter how hard I try to concentrate on something.

Last night was terrible.
It took me ages and ages to fall asleep.
And I had one of the craziest dreams ever.


I seriously think I'm going mad.


Damn. My horoscope tells me I'll be in a bloody bad mood today.

"Your temper could possibly flare up today for no other reason than a temporary negative influence on your ruling planet.
If you indulge yourself with plenty of relaxing activities, like a long luxurious massage, it will ease the tensions away.
Make sure, therefore, that you enjoy a peaceful, soothing day."

Massage? Anyone? haha.


I'll be going out the entire week.

But I know that it just wont help me.

I'm going to dig out my brain and give it a good wash.


URGHHHHHHHHH.


You, the more I think about you, the more I want to staple your tongue, pour melted iron over your lips, pierce a fork into your eyes, pull out all your hair and teeth, pour salt water all over your bloody wounds and then let you rot to death.

you idiotic idiotic shithead.

Damn you.

You make me so frustrated.
I thought I have stopped thinking about all these. But no.
The more I think about things, the more I realized you were lying to me all along.
The more I realized that you never had any good intentions before.

And you know who you are.

At one moment, I thought I knew you, but in the very next moment, I think I don't know you at all.

"We have come to know each other little by little
But suddenly I find I know nothing about you"

-Because of You by Ayumi

You twist words like there's no tomorrow.
You put words into people's mouths.


YOU'RE ONE BLOODY BASTARD.




I feel much much better now.

words are toxic~*

I'm in the mood to escape to a place where no one knows me.

Won't it be good to start afresh?

I want to escape to a place where people's words can't get to me.

Because as much as I hate to lie to myself, I hate to agree with what people think of me.

I'm mentally exhausted.

Something meaningful~*

Everyone thought Ace of Hearts is the most powerful card in a deck of poker cards.

But please don't forget, there's still a game called 'Daidee', in which TWO OF SPADES is the most powerful.



if you're intellectual enough to get it. haha. :)

BBQ~*

Happy 20th Birthday TEGOSHI YUYA!!!!!!!
誕生日おめでとう　テッシ！！^_^

(too bad my com's having problems uploading pictures. If not there'll definitely be a Tesshi pic-spam. haha.)

愛してるよ！！<3



ok. Last night's BBQ was successfully held! :)
It was awesome.
Really enjoyed myself there. :D
Played cheat/bullshit (as Wenshi calls it), daidee, blackjack etc.
We can play cheat on and on and if we didn't stop halfway, we could've played till the very next day. haha.

The BBQ food's 美味しい！！！
Especially the very precious chicken wings. haha.
Everyone was waiting for them. XD
Well, I was helping out with the BBQ and there're neverending orders for chicken wings. haha.
BUT THEY TAKE AGES TO GET COOKED. -___-

Oh and the corn! they're really rare as well. :)

Then when it's really late, we were playing cards (AGAIN) at the playground. haha.
I really think we look like a bunch of gamblers. -___-

Some of the people left early for NIGHT CYCLING. from 9PM to 7AM. wuah.
It's a programme organized by our sch and external org.

Special thanks to:

Kahying!!!
for the wonderful food, renting the BBQ pit, the function room etc etc...
You're fantastic! :D Thank you so much! It was a great night. :D

Eugene brought BEEHOON! Wenyu brought CAKES! Junxiu brought SUSHI! Rina brought CARDS! Clarrisa brought CHEESEBALLS! etc etc.

Everyone helped out in one way or another and that's all these little efforts which made the BBQ sucessful. ^_^

I bet everyone had fun that night, ね？^_^


As for me, I was busy fighting with Chengcheng over NEARLY EVERYTHING.
Marshmallows, cardgames, chicken wings etc etc. XD

Photos are with Ruzi!!!

Samantha: Take care of yourself! And get well soon. ^_^


Let's have another class gathering soon! XD

Updates~*

Solace.

Music: Alibi by Koyama and Shige


You long to escape.
But is running away even a solution?


Chatting with Karen through Chatango right now.
I really love chatting with her. It's always filled with laughter. XD

Speaking of which, 786542154 people have been urging me to get a new hotmail account and then bloody go onto MSN to chat. haha.
Well well well, I'm afraid I don't even remember how to use MSN. sheesh.
I'll try, but it depends on my mood. :D
I just have a bad feeling that even a new account wont WORK.
my MSN'S DEAD and I seriously mean DEAD.


1. ok anyway, yesterday had Econs lecture.
and a short discussion on class outing this coming sat. :)

So our clique will be getting the snacks and fruits.
hahaha. I can't help but think we're super cheapskate.
those girls. they've been super stingy since the first time i met them.

haha. and yes i must admit we fought over a person paying 5-cent more.


LIKE WTH. haha. but I still love them. :)




Then had lunch with Ruzi, Wenshi, Huili and Soolin at MOS burger at AMK hub. (we made that decision after fighting for 8796456487897 hours. =___=;;)
Guess what. Huili and Wenshi simply refused to eat MOS and continued fighting. =__=

After that, Ruzi and Soolin left for Harmock and the 3 of us walked around AMK hub and then went to causeway.
Crapped all the way there.
I don't understand why but Wenshi just loves to bring up the topic regarding 183 Club and 5566.
Come on la, wenshi, you've got their posters in ur room, haven't you? XDXD

*Jas hit Wenshi on the shoulder*
Wenshi: I'm gonna have bruises all over my body le lah!
Jas: I only hit you once or twice leh.
Wenshi: Where got? Monday you nearly beat me up!
Jas: huh? is it?
Wenshi: Ya la. when I said your idol's ugly.
Huili: Oh. MINGDAO (from 183 club) arh?


I tell you, I nearly wanted to fling huili out of the MRT window (have to smash open the window first)



Then we walked around Causeway before Cindy came and the 3 of them went to eat Seoul Garden.


2. Yeeyan came after that and we went to have waffles at Gelare.
Shared a waffle with maple syrup and choc ice cream. :D

Then we walked around for hours, chatting.

Heart-to-heart. :)



After that Serene and Joyce also arrived and we had dinner at JACK'S PLACE. :D
Serene, Joyce and Yeeyan had fish and chips while I had spag.

Then by then I was left with about 1% of energy.
I was really really drained of energy.
was walking around with my eyes half-opened. haha.

Then we went to Children's section in Woodlands lib and sat down to crap, before heading to NTUC to freeze ourselves. XD


Anyway, next week Joyce's going for OBS.
Good luck, girl! :D I hope you dont come back CHAO TAH-ed.




3. I think true friends are those with whom you can truly be yourself.



4. Had Econs and Math lecture just now.
Then went to AMK hub with Clarrisa cos last minute she decided not to go home.

Shared a plate of Hokkien Mee with her. :D:D
We walked around and talked about many things.

Then she had to find her mother so I left home after that.


5. On the way home, I was listening to Ayaka's 'I believe' and suddenly thought about many things.

Many of which I have forgotten. XD


Sometimes you just listen to a song and you'll feel like crying.
Not that you're sad, angry or confused.
It's just that you simply feel like crying.
no explanation needed.

maybe you can relate to the song.

maybe the song triggers a certain memory...



5. Sometimes I feel really tired.


6. Why do people want to be mature when they can be childish?
You've plenty of time to mature. So why rush?

I admire childish, innocent kids.

Right, Yeeyan? :)


ahh. Suddenly an empty feeling overwhelms me.



7. My mood changes so quickly, it's unbelievable. (you'll know what I mean when you re-read this post)



8. SMAPXSMAP never fails to make me laugh till I thought I was dying.
Serious! I didn't know the 5 of them could be so hilarious! hahaha.


Hey, isn't it a good idea to actually laugh till death?
I mean, you're actually so happy that you die.
Isn't it incredible? haha.



9. Ruzi's sudden call last evening really cracked me up. XDXD



10. I realized I'm SUPER random.



Replies (AT LAST)

Tuna~* YEAP. cool, yeah? How's your life? still working?

Tiffany~* me too... are you very busy these days?

Serene~* I feel very tired when I try to reply ur SUPER LOOOOONG tag. haha. Yup I'll be free of lectures soooooon! yeah. Then we can go out tgt. ^^I think ur class's cool. haha. Pulau Ubin LEH! lol. my dream place to tour. hoho. I understand what you mean. I miss NHChoir, not Choir. haha. Anyway, since when are you GLAM?? XD

MAJI DE?! goodness my sister's gonna buy the Kanjani DVD which costs like what... nearly 100 or 100+. And KATTUN's new single. So guess I'll have to get the NEWS's Pacific and Weeeek when the TW version comes out. or i'll really be broke. T^T

WHAT?! CODE IS SOOOOOOO NICE!!!!!!!! oh my gosh. read the lyrics! LISTEN TO RYO'S PASSION!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! hahaha. okok i calmed down already.

ahem. ahem. i didn't get what you said about 1LOT.


Cheryl~* YES~! ☆＃％◎※!! hahaha.


I've pretty much replied everyone else on my tagboard rite?
As in I tagged you guys back rite? hmm.. haha. *STM*


ok thanks for reading till the very end! byeee~!

and enjoy ur dec hols~! :D

『☆＃％◎※・・・』

You can't stop me now that I'm obsessed. :D

『☆＃％◎※・・・』


<3

NEWS = LOVE~*

NEWS!!! (I still insist on finding a pic with EIGHT of them)

(I decided to try a different font. But somehow, Arial font reminds me of nothing but WR. -___-)

Music: Code by Nishikido Ryo!!! :D:D:D

I built up my courage and said the words I could hold in no longer.
What was supposed to have been "I love you…"
Subconsciously, the command from my brain was altered into my very own code.

"☆＃％◎※…"
(Yeah...)

I'll show you that I can protect every element that colors you.
I'll be by your side no matter what.
I will take away every little thing that saddens you.
So my unconditional love… my love… my love.

"☆＃％◎※…"
(Yeah...)

-Code by Ryo

CHERYL, it's soooo sweet!!! :D:D:D
YAY GO RYO!!! <3<3


Well, I've pretty much listened to EVERY SONG in 'Pacific' and 'Weeek'.
And they're absolutely lovely.
EVERY SINGLE SONG rocks. :D

But I already have my list of favourites (minus away the single songs). :)

'Code' by Ryo
'Gomen ne Juliet' by Yamapi
'Ai Nante' by Tegoshi, Shige and Ryo
'Chiarizumu' by Koyama and Shige
'Change the World' by NEWS
'Mafuyu no Nagareboshi' by NEWS
'Ai no Metador' by NEWS
'Sono Egao Boku ni Misete' by NEWS


.....

wait a sec, that's about all the songs. LOL.


'With me' by NEWS in 'Weeeek' is a really touching ballad. :')


Note: I can't bring myself to like the new version of TEPPEN.
COS TEPPEN IS NOT TEPPEN WITHOUT UCHI AND KUSANO!!!


Overall, I HOPE to buy BOTH 'Pacific' and 'Weeeek'.
(keyword here is HOPE)

Damn. I'll be so broke if I buy both! :'(




alright. this entry just cannot get anymore random and fangirl-ish than this. *sheepish grin*

who cares? I love NEWS and that's that. XD


By the way, Wenshi and Ruzi will be reaching SOON.
which means my house's gonna collapse any moment now. -___-


Ciao~!~!~!

C-H-O-I-R~*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ZOUMEI!!!!!!!!!!

All you need to know is that I still LOVE YOU!!! :D:D:D
take care and love ya!!! :D


Suddenly, I'm feeling nostalgic.
There you go, some choir pics when I was in NHHS.


Somehow, I really love our choir gowns. XD














Cultural Potpourri '05--->
(I remember we were probably singing 'From a Distance')

Screw NH for not having Cultural Pot '06. >:(











ROD'06! we, the committee, were acting like a bunch of dorks. haha. all thanks to the ingenious us, who came up with stupid Tarzan and Jane dance. haha. but it was FUN. :)








Suffering from constipation before the performance. haha.














:) we chose the flowers! --->












I'm glad to have such a fun-loving choir clique! :D















With senior Bee Hwee!!













GOODNESS. this was taken when we were in Sec TWO. Cultural Pot '04, last performance with Mr Stead.










A collage I made which consists of memories that I'll never forget.













I loved choir. I really did.
Although I'm not in choir anymore, there are still times when I think about the choir practises we once had.

Tell you what, I'm missing the adrenaline rush when we wait for the curtains to part when we were on stage. XD

And the best part of a performance is the applause and cheers we hear. :)


CHOUmei,

I hope you're doing fine. :)
Never ever forget the crazy bunch of us. haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!



Sometimes, I silently wish that when it comes to thinking of the happy memories NHChoir once had together, I'm not alone. :)

emptiness~*

HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY RYO-CHAN!!!!!!!! ---------------->
もっともっと頑張って！！！NEWSも、KANJANI8も！！！
愛してるよ！！＾＿＾



Mood: empty
Music: Moon & Sunrise by BoA

I'm currently obsessed with

1. Moon & Sunrise by BoA
2. I believe by Ayaka
3. Flavour of Life by Utada Hikaru
4. Weeeek by NEWS
5. Decision by Ayumi

When you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
get undone even after the good bye.
a hint of bitterness.

The flavor of life

-Flavour of Life by Utada Hikaru

1. Yesterday was an interesting day.
Serene dropped by my house with only one hour of notice beforehand.
SHE LOVES TO DO SUCH THINGS. lol.
But thank goodness there was at least ONE hour of notice. -___-

And we started baking brownies! ^_^ *looks at Ruzi* WAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The first round of brownies turned out really nice.
Although it's made using the shallow tray I have, at least it's edible. ^^;;
The second round was horrid. Cos there were too many walnuts and we put too much mixture on the tray.

Then we retreated back to my sis's room to watch lots of random stuff.
and that's when I learnt how we just can't bring ourselves to watch those V6 performances. XD
Anyway, I realized that I know a lot of OLD singers that Serene hasn't even heard of. =S
Goodness. I feel REALLY old. T_T
Like Serene = Tegoshi, Jasmine = Shige. (if you get what I mean)
SIGHHHH.

By the way, dinner was GREAT!!! XD
cos I actually fried an egg for serene.
It's the very first time I cook for another person, OK?!?!
And it's edible, PEOPLE. XD

Anyway, it was a really fun evening. ^_^ Do drop by more often, Serene! :D:D



2. Ruzi and Wenshi are coming over on Monday! :D:D



FOR PW.




HAHAHA KIDDING. XD


Anyway, one day WE have to go out together!!
Curry-pok, Laoniang, Pig, Stitch and SIA!! :D


*currently listening to Flavour of Life by Utada Hikaru. the voted no. 1 sad song on MS :( *



3. I'm feeling much better now.
Just now while I was clearing my PW stuff, I felt this sudden pang of sadness and emptiness.

"Besides Polio Understanding Day, we'll also be holding a..."

I was glancing at my script, which is in a terrible state.
Then all the memories just flooded my mind.


From a group with really awful ideas, no motivation to do PW to the group we are today.
I wonder how much we had to go through to become who we are today.
Although PW was a nightmare for us, I have to admit there're things that we gained through PW.
Stronger ties, understanding one another better, becoming closer... :)
And I wonder if the friendship that we created through PW will last forever.

I really really hope so.

Because I've never noticed this side of you before. And now that I realize I can laugh so naturally next to you, I don't want to lose this friendship. :)


LOL. I realized what I've written above can be applied to more than one person. XD




4. Sometimes, I feel like I'm cursed with bad luck.
People around me just HAVE to leave...

Mr Stead, my first Choir instructor in NHHS
I cried for a good one hour plus NON-STOP with Yuntian, Serene, Zoumei and Bernice after our last performance with him.
GOODNESS. and we had to rush to the stage again for the stupid finale with MESSED UP make up and puffy eyes.

Mr Lai, my most cherished Choir instructor in NHHS
I cried so hard after our last performance with him that he came over to hug me.
the sadness was so overwhelming, I really couldn't control my emotions.
Serene, Zoumei, Yuntian and Bernice also cried with me.


And now...




5. On Thursday, I had a ONE-HOUR long phone convo with Curry-pok and another ONE-HOUR convo with Pig. My ears were burning and my voice was gone by the time I put down the phone. haha.


6. It still gives me an amazing feeling when someone from 4o8'06 still calls me 'Choir Chairman' when it's a yr since I stepped down. haha.


7. Why does everyone think that my blog entries are sad?
Are they, really?

haha. Maybe I should write something happier.

But the problem is that there are usually more sad things than happy things to write. XD


8. Karen, tell me when your O's are over so we can hang out together ok?? :)

9. Kannex, I promise a reply soon!!!!!! m(_ _)m gomen!

10. I waste time by playing miniclip.com.
There're some really interesting games there! Do go and try! :D



In order to live, losing some things are inevitable...


Alright. I'm off to practise piano! :)


じゃ！！^_^

...~*

Mood: ...
Music: Again and again by Leah Dizon


But despite it all I fall and I fall...

-Again and again by Leah Dizon




I FEEL LIKE SHIT.

that's the understatement of the year.



The pain becomes stronger when you lose something you initially had.
If you never had that thing, it doesn't matter even if you can never possess it.

So true so true.



1. OP's over.

And I feel like my life's in the drain.
Sigh.



2. My bloody TV died.

Shit.


3. Playing the piano has become my only solace.




4. Obviously, I'm not in a good mood.

The more I think about myself, the more I feel like stabbing myself.

The one who sets the expectation is me, the one who fails to meet the expectation is also me.

The one who betrays my trust is myself.

The one who irritates me the most is myself.


URGH.


Sometimes, I wish life were a little simpler, just like... like playing a game off miniclip.com.