half dead~*

Just here to tell everyone I'm still alive.



This few weeks pretty much sucked.

I thought life couldn't get any worse, but it did. *fumes at the wasted trip yesterday*



On a lighter note, at least I met up with my cousins.

Had SAKAE TEPPANYAKI, PEACH CREAM CREPE with sister, and watched ALONE and shared popcorn with Yiliang! ^_~Y

BUT,

I'M HALF DEAD FROM PW. X____X





From now till saturday night, I'll be a living-dead.





WRITTEN REPORT, HERE I COME!!!

the real me~*

Deep in thought...

What are we searching for, actually?

Perhaps, we're all searching for something that will never change.

It's my 797th post.

Let's look forward to my 800th post. :)

haha... time really flies.

I still remember celebrating my 700th post.

and now 100 more entries were written.

hmm... sometimes when we feel that the changes are positive, they're not.

Sometimes we feel that it's better to be like that,

people might think it's better to be like this.

that's why we're always unknowingly hurting people...

To selfishly make a decision.

Maybe I would want to revert back to the old me.

Chop off my hair.

Go back to the ever-free Jasmine.

The one who craps, who gets teased, who has no image, who doesn't give a shit about her appearance, the one who laughs when she wants to, cries when she wants to and sings when she wants to.

Silly little tunes, hopelessly dreamy about the future, wearing the most awful clothes one can ever think of, never taking my eyes off the TV, dance techno (oh my gosh), playing childish games with friends (van-mates! :)), having silly crushes on the most impossible people, cursing and swearing about life (I still do that now), thinking simpler, saving money like I'm gonna be broke the very next day, crying over failing math (I'm totally immune to it now), looking into the mirror and laughing at myself for looking so ugly...

and most importantly,

looking into the mirror and seeing the real me. =)

yeah. that would be nice. :)

Update~*

The Never-Ending-Wonderful-Story.















Credit: Panasonic website





Mood: Resigned.
Music: Tree by BoA

To you:



So
I show myself
Only to you
Which no one in the world knows
But
I may still have
Some secret sides
You have never seen
Which no one in the world knows


I feel totally drained of energy.

Life has been cruel to me (or should I say us?).
Just when everything seems fine, something MUST happen to destroy what little peace we're left with.

Give me a break.

Losing them, finding them back, losing them again.
How many times must these bullshit crap repeat?

Pardon me for my crude language.


Project Work has been stressing me out a whole lot.
Like, I feel I'm aging at the speed of light whenever I THINK about project work.
But for that matter, I have faith that the 5 of us WILL pull through.
Just put Jonas Salk as the number one in your heart. XD

Interact, as usual, has been fun with the girls. =)
As for the kids, if only they can be a little less playful. lol.



Unknowingly, I think I changed.

Junxiu: You're really straightforward...

I was never like that.
'straightforward' has never appeared in my dictionary.
I used to be so cowardly. So afraid to hurt people's feelings, so afraid to say the wrong things.
But now, I realized that some things just had to be said.

Leaving no stones unturned...

And I'm becoming more and more protective of my friends.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but I just feel I have the duty to protect the ones I cherish.


Ahh... nevermind about such things.

Yesterday had a class birthday celebration.
There was SHOU MIAN and red eggs. haha.
Wenshi and I were a little late for the celebration cos we had EoM discussion with Mr Lim.
I really like the SHOUMIAN. (there's still a packet of it in my fridge. haha.)



And today's WENYU'S (Mooncake's) BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday girl! =D


Oh yes, speaking of which, THANK YOU PEIYUN for your belated birthday present! =D


On a more random note,
I seem to be losing my appetite these days.
Sigh.

And I'm having a freaking craving for NOTHING but the mango pudding from drinks stall. hahaha.
Oh, and the coffee from the vending machine.

"Huh? You're having pudding AND coffee??? That's it???"

XD


Oh. And I was watching DREAMS PV from 'Never Ending Wonderful Story' DVD of NEWS
and guess what?
*SPOILERS ALERT!!!!*
at the scene when koyama cried, I was so touched, I cried as well.
What the.
And the various scenes when the PV featured the audience crying...
I was really really touched. T^T

The more I watch this, the more I WANT Uchi and Kusano BACK IN NEWS AND KANJANI8.
lol. But honestly, NEWS is not complete without them. And Kanjani8 will not be Kanjani8 without Uchi.


Which kinda reminds me of many things...

MD is incomplete without everyone here.
Everyone is unique in their own way.
It's our unique differences which adds various colours to the clique, isn't it?
We might have our bad days, we might have quarrels at times, but after all that, won't we still be the same old MDs?

......


Alright. Enough of the sad things.

I'm finally, FINALLY replying those tags I've owed for weeks. XD
(wait a sec. I don't even know where to start. LOL!)


Reply to tags:


Karen: it's been days since you last tagged me. :( haha. anyway, I'm fine already. regarding the voice thing, I heck care about it anymore. Think about it, Deep voice IS unique, isn't it? How many Singaporean girls have such a deep voice? hahaha. ANYWAY, my voice's not THAT deep what. haha.

Tuna: thank you for the bday wish! (?!?!?!) haha. and how's life? still busy taking photos? and quarrelling with Tiffany right? Or busy dating? LOL.

Tiffany: =____= you're like really random, you know? haha. and since when did you become SOOO uncouth?! XD where did you learn all those lang from? *AHEMAHEM*

Kin: yeah you're right. I got SEVERE moodswings at times. haha. But well, nevermind. I got relatively HIGH EQ. lol. as for you, when ARE you going to ask her out??

Jun: Thanks for those random tags. haha. I wish you happiness. ;) and d'you know Lot 1 's QB House just opened? you love to get haircuts, don't you? XD

Yeeyan: thanks! I really wanna hang out soon! =D

Joyce: Love ya. :) take care lots and we shall go out someday. I wanna see if you've become tanner or not. XD

Serene: you flood me like a tsunami. HAHAHA. I put tesshi photos already, as promised. haha. well, the collage is sitting in my room. I admire it everyday. haha so please relax. =D and hor, I think you got things to explain to me/update me. hahaha. I WANT THOSE PHOTOS ANYWAY. EMAIL!! you better send them to me soon or I'll ask my assassination club to assassinate you. XD OH AND UPDATE YOUR BLOG, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.

Junxiu: look at those previous tags. Things have been fine, haven't they? and they will STILL be. Nothing changed and nothing will change.

Clarrisa: hahaha. I saw that AWFUL elephant. haha. anw you should've gone to the thursday session. haha it was fun. and interesting to see the black paint SMUDGE. XD anyway, take care of yourself too. cya on mon!

Ruzi: PW makes me die. haha. Anyway, we shall hang out again real soon, as promised. :) I'M NOT PEEKING LA!! just checking only. haha. And don't worry be happy (curry-pok's line). :) UPDATE.

Rachel: hahaha. yeah that's a good idea. Or maybe I hope someone sponsor me 2 more phones den can FULLY UTILIZE the 3 hp holders le. XD

Cheryl: thanks! :) anyway, you REALLY should watch Ganbatte I. Cos Ryo AND Uchi look damn shuai. haha. Ryo being blonde still looks not too bad la. haha. at least he looks good in the newest mag. :)

Honey: hey! =) Please feel free to tag and read my blog. haha.:) AYU ROCKS!

Zuhui: HEY AUNTIE GANG MEMBER! haha. yeah the aunties rock. XD anyway had a good chat with you that day. I hope to do it more often. the more they see you the sadder they get arh. LOL!! jkjk. I'm hoping everything will be better soon. Or else I might die. x_x you take care too ok? MUACKS! ^_^

Cindy: MATONG MATONG! yeah you top my quiz! hahaha. I shall FIND time to go over and visit and turn your house upside down. hahaha. take care!

Raphael: yup. Everything WAS ok, then it's not anymore. sigh. anyway you take care too alright? you sound so stressed up these days. smile more! :)

Weicheng: HEYA!!!!!!!! =D sian. life sucks for me these days. sigh. what about you? how's life?


phew. Finally I replied all tags. haha.


anyway, let's just hope tomorrow will be a better day. :)


Random: COUSIN GATHERING ON SUNDAY!!! woots! =D



Random pretty pics:
















Ayu's NEWEST Panasonic Lumix commercial screencap! she looks really youthful/classy/pretty! ^_^




















All these news about ayu and tomoya breaking up... sigh. I still think Ayu and Gackt make a good pair. XD






















I absolutely love this picture. Leah Dizon. :)





























Newest Ayu in 'Distance Love' making. =) Pretty pretty.




















NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3

LOVE~Destiny~*

In case people are wondering WHAT is THE SONG which attracted me to Ayumi,
which is the song which started all these crazy frenzy over her,

The song you're listening to.

Yeah, that's the song. :)


LOVE ~Destiny~
Lyrics: Ayumi Hamasaki
Composer: Tsunku
Arranger: Shingo Kobayashi, Yasuaki Maejima


Eternity really doesn't exist.
I wonder when I first realized that.
But I'm prouder than anyone else that
the days we spent together weren't lies.

I've lived up to now. Although the length of time is a little different.

Just having met you, just having loved you,
even if we can't share our thoughts, La La La La... I won't forget you.

Why, even though it hurts so much,
can't I think of anyone but you and I want to be with you?
But I'm used to how I think of even small
things as happy memories.


Even cliches and meaningless words, if they're said between us,
have meaning.


Just having met you, just having loved you,
just having shared our thoughts... from now until forever...


I should think of you as proof that I live without taking my eyes off of truth and reality.


Just having met you, just having loved you,
even if I can never see you again, La La La La... I won't forget.

The story of @$!*

Mood: Like the weather --- ever-changing.
Music: GLITTER by Ayumi


Listen to this,

'Love and Like' is like 'Porn and Art'
It's hard to describe the difference, but you'd know it when you see it.


So true, isn't it?



Anyway, these days just suck the life out of me.

Firstly, nearly everyone seems to be in a bad mood these days.

Okok. I admit I WAS very crabby today and yesterday and the day before. =X
But there're cases of people breaking down and sudden outburst of anger.

I was SUPER shocked when a certain someone SUDDENLY shouted during Lecture AND during Prac. Honestly. My heart nearly leapt out of my throat.

To the certain someone: Do calm down and chill. ^^;; relax relax...


And now, let me tell you the wonderful story of @$!*.

Then there's this awful @$!* (@$!* ---> Project Work)
For the first time in my entire life, I actually turned dizzy with FRUSTRATION AND ANGER all because of @$!*.

Ruzi, Wenshi and I practically go into 'violent and scary' mode whenever one of us mentions @$!*.

Ruzi: WHAT PW?!?!?!?!?!?!
Jas: I'M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T DO THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
Wenshi: WHAAAAAAAT?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

This particular amusing (?!?!?!?!?!) incident occurred yesterday.

Ruzi, Wenshi and I were in the library working on our interview questions and email to various organizations. We've been working for nearly an hour and came up with a one page long mail.

SUDDENLY....

(Wenshi scrolled down the page and POOOOOOOOOOF!!!! we're sent back to AJC's mainpage.)
Jas: ..........
Ruzi: .............................
Wenshi: ..........................................
Jas: WENSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE DID EVERYTHING GO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!??!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!
Ruzi: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And we started beating/strangling her right there in the library.

And this happened TWICE.


And so, wenshi owes us McFlurry. :D



Random: I was still working on @$!* a second ago. =_______=


Random pictures:















The octupus Clarrisa gave me AND the dolphin one. :)
















This picture is AWESOME.

















A normal day at 22/07. haha. CHEESE!!

















The gorgeous COLLAGE my dearest clique gave me! (it's sitting on my old piano)
















Not a very pretty shot of my new baby. haha. but it's good enough.

update!~*

Stylish woman.

Mood: :]

Music: I'll be with you by KAT-TUN

Don't expect anything in a relationship or a friendship.

In this way, anything that happens will be unexpected. :)

Today, I'm feeling happier than usual. :)

1. CIP (chair painting) at SAVH.

you know what? I absolutely love that place.

It gives me a very 'kampong' feeling. haha.

Yes. It's a little rundown. But nevertheless, it gives me a warm feeling.

Like, a town on its own.

Clarrisa: this place is so KAMPONG! look at that place! looks like a coffee shop or something. XD

Anyway, had fun painting chairs AND fighting with Ruzi.

That crazy pig. We were arguing and fighting while painting the chairs. XD

AND laughing at the same time.

Oh. And my arm and leg are artistically decorated with streaks of pastel blue, pink, purple and silver.

The horrible part is really the washing part.

That thinner STANK like nobody's business.

Gosh. And it felt super sticky after that.

@_@

But overall it was interesting. ^_^

Might have a second sesson on Thurs.

Had lunch at Mac with MDs and Joyce.

Couldn't stay till 5pm

Cos I had to go for piano lesson. ^^;;

It was a tiring and long walk to Mac.

(it was raining)

Curry-pok and I were sharing umbrella.

haha. and she stepped on this awful unidentified-object.

XD

Clarrisa stepped on the white watery dunno-what.

Jas: YIKES!!!

Clarrisa: *stunned* what's that???

Jas: Dunno!! Maybe a rat?

Clarrisa: I'll faint.

2. Piano lesson.

BLOODY. my teacher's throwing a GRADE 8 EXAM PIECE for me to learn.

and it's not just difficult, it's DIFFICULT in caps.

Like, seriously.

I was listening to the CD and my face turned pale.

Debussy's work.

I'm gonna die. >.<

3. Had a wonderful shopping trip with mum. ^_^Y

(It's supposed to be my belated birthday present from mum. ^^;;)

Anyway, it's a really fruitful shopping trip ;)

Thanks Mum, you're wonderful. =)

4. Tml's 22/07/07!!!

So it's 22/07 DAY!!! :D:D

We're gonna celebrate it on Monday. :D

5. Just watched Ayu's 'GLITTER' performance on NHK channel a while ago.

=)

6. Leah and Ayu's videos were shown on Channel 51 last night!

woohoo~!

7. It's scary how time flies.

But July is coming to an end! *shudders*

8. Changed the song to something a little sadder.

Ayu's 'SECRET'.

9. hmm... does everyone know what the japanese line in my heading mean??

じゃすみん is pronounced as 'Jyasumin', which also means JASMINE.

while JasSuki => Suki = スキ = like

So from now on, call me Jyasu. haha.

10. I keep thinking there's still thinner on my arm. >.<

EoM! EoM! EoM!!! *sweats*

goodnight people!

Note to self: I MUST REPLY TAGS SOOON!!!!!

sigh~*

Friends will always be there for one another. NEWS=8=1 :)


Mood: tired
Music: Flying without wings by BoA & Westlife


I'm flying without wings...


I'm really really thankful for all the tags you wonderful people left me. :)
Sometimes, like what I keep saying, all it takes is just one short msg to make a person feel alive, feel loved, and feel strong once more.

And I'm also glad that certain things have been settled.

I realized that I've been selfish.
Although I'm no Type B, I'm still guilty of being self-centred at times.

Jasmine, time to do something about yourself!


Anyway, tml's gonna be a real loooooooonnnnnnngggggggg day.

CIP from morning till afternoon.
Piano in the evening.
Going out with mum after that. (I'm sorry Serene, for not being to watch the movie with you. I'm sorry Junxiu, for not being able to make it to the vegetarian dinner. >.< ごめん！)


Met up with LAOMAO finally. =)
Although it's just for tea (LOl), I realised I missed my les partner damn lots. haha.
Talked about lotsa things. Things that have been disrupting our lives, things that have changed and of course, the wonderful past. =)
Your letter cheered me up a whole lot.
Thank you, laomao, for being there for me. love you! :D

Seasons changed. Time passed. Lives changed.
As much as I hate to admit it, I must have changed as well.
And I noticed it.
I'm becoming more and more sentimental. pessimistic.
I'm getting better and better at pretending. be it pretending to be strong, or just smiling when you don't feel like it, or pretending that everything's alright.
And my pathetically low self-esteem is reducing to an even lower level.


Sigh. Jasmine's such a sad girl.
I wish to be happier. Who doesn't?
But sometimes, you just can't lift your spirits.
Damn. I'm a Cancer Type A. Maybe that's why.


"Individuals born under this sign are thought to have a kind, emotional, romantic, imaginative, sympathetic, nurturing, and intuitive character, but one which is also prone to changeability, moodiness, hypersensitivity, depression, and clinginess. "

-wikipedia


sigh. speaking of which, I'm starting to influence my friends to believe in horoscopes. haha.
It's interesting, isn't it? Sometimes it's really accurate, until it gets a little creepy.

http://mizian.com.ne.kr/englishwiz/library/names/zodiac/cancer.htm
This is the link to Cancer's complete profile.
From there, you can link to your horoscope.

It's really detailed, hence, really accurate. =)


Alright. Enough of hiding and running away from problems.
Time to stand up again.

Jasmine, がんばってね！^_^Y


Random:
1. Chosen Digital Art for Civics Elec. (according to siewboon, it's zuo **. XD)




Random pictures:




















Tesshi! (smiles at serene) haha.




















Ayu's newest mag appearance! I LOVE this picture. :)





















A very artistic shot of Uchi!





















Ryo-chan!




















I find this picture really cute. Esp Tesshi's undaunted expression. XD




















I can hear Cheryl scream. hahaha.


goodnight people. :)

taiyou no uta AND july 1st AND hanabi~*

Sawajiri Erika AND Ayumi Hamasaki are hot.
Just watch the videos and admit it.
(I really should include Leah Dizon too. But I might get killed by Serene. XD)

You touched my trembling hand
For the first time
And I finally experienced
A gentle feeling of warmth

I opened the window that had been shut
And a new wind blew in

Laughing, crying, meeting you
The world I saw began to shine
Under the sun where the sunflowers swayed
I felt the wind, I felt you

Believing, being lost,
And stopping short, and everything
Maybe it’s all an answer
To why I’m alive here and now

Let my monochromatic days
Take on colour

Laughing, crying, meeting you
The future ahead of us was shining
Under the sun where the sunflowers sway
I sing about tomorrow as I am

How much can we love each other
In this unstoppable time, these limited days?
We can love each other, right?
When you're here, I don't even turn away from the light

Laughing, crying, meeting you
The future ahead of us was shining
Under the sun where the sunflowers sway
I sing about tomorrow

I want to say thank you, I can say it now
I won't forget the seasons we’ve spent
Like the sun the sunflowers sway under
My song will shine on you

For you, as I am...

-Taiyou no Uta by Kaoru Amane (Sawajiri Erika)

Ayumi Hamasaki - July 1st + HANABI live
Uploaded by yabon

Tired

Let the tears flow. Connect with your inner self.

Life = shit these days. Like, completely, totally.

It's one thing to be friends with someone because you genuinely like that someone.

It's another to be friends for the sake of having friends.

1. I can be patient with you, but there'll eventually be a day when I can't take it anymore.

I tell myself it's alright.

I tell myself it's only right to help you out.

But how come I feel that you don't view me as a friend, and instead, just another walking organiser for you?

I'll like you a lot, if you're not so demanding...

2. I pretend to be strong, but I'm not.

I'm downright weak.

I'm sorry I have such a deep voice.

But sometimes, it's really tiring to have to constantly confirm the fact that YES I WAS FROM CHOIR SOP1.

You can despise my voice all you want.

You can laugh at me and say that I can't sing.

Go ahead and laugh at me.

I'm here for you to laugh at.

3. All I want is a chance to talk to you.

Again, I'm sorry to be so overly sensitive.

But, I do wish that things can return to the past.

It's just wishful thinking on my part.

I like her, don't misunderstand.

I'm genuinely tired of all these tearful talks and sad messages.

I've not shed a tear yet, but I might.

I want to solve the problem.

But there might not be an answer even.

I want to know what you think.

Things have changed.

with unknown reasons.

I'll live with it. But I can't promise to display a real Jasmine.

4. Loneliness does wonders.

It makes one go mad.

It makes one become venomous.

It makes one become selfish.

It blinds a person, it hurts a person, and the people around him/her.

Sometimes, words are like knife.

They cut, they hurt, and leave a scar.

5. I lay in a crumpled heap on the ground, motionless.

I want to stay this way.

I chose to stay like that.

I choose to hide.

I choose to play dead.

6. I'm REALLY tired.

Thank you III~*

Who is this? haha.


To thank Rachel for Kame-chan,

Kyou (Fruits Basket) pictures! :D (I know you like Kyou. ^_^)






















To Cheryl and Rachel: Thanks so much for the present. ^_^ Really appreciate it. :)

Thank you II~*

"I Can't Beat You But We Can" --- 3o8'05 class motto. XD

Mood: EXCITED! ^_^
Music: At the Beginning (Anastasia Film 1997) (in the playlist. ^_^)

Life is a road

And I want to keep going

Love is a river

I wanna keep flowing

Life is a road

Now and forever

Wonderful journey

-At The Beginning (the 1st track in the playlist)

1. Firstly, I'm EXCITED to introduce everyone to my new BOYFRIEND ;)





...


....


.....


......





MY NEW PIANO!!!


*throws confetti*


Goodness, he IS a beauty.
and he SOUNDS terrific!


Photos will be uploaded next time. ^_^


嬉しい！！！(Happy!) (^-^)Y



2. Next, I wanna say a BIG THANKYOU to...
Xinfang, Si Aun, Liza and Pei Rong for that ULTRA　可愛い (Kawaii) stuffed 亀-chan! :D


And that poor poor baby got TORTURED horribly by Wenshi and Junxiu. -___-"""

Really. They're sick in the mind. haha.


I haven't really come up with a name for her.
Anyone cares to offer a name? ^_^

ANYWAY, I love my CHAI FAMILY members. haha. :D you guys rock my world!

Special thanks to my dearest family!!! :D:D:D:D

for everything. The cake, and the presents!!!!! thanks so much! MUACKS! <3

and Thank you to CHERYL TAN AND RACHEL (TWEETYBIRD)!!! :D:D:D

For that really cute baby 亀-chan. ^_^ haha.
This is crazy, but right now I have THREE handphone holders of various animals. hahaha.

To thank Cheryl.....

Ryo-chan's Pictures!!! *O*






































Yes. He IS kakkoi! :D




Thank you Weilong~* YOU~* Lingxi~* Wanting~* the birthday messages. :D




3. Ahem. After all the happy news, here comes the sad one.

I'm really late to update you all that

AYUMI HAMASAKI OFFICIALLY BROKE UP WITH NAGASE TOMOYA

It is sad... After 6-7 years of relationship, everything eventually leads to nothing.
Ayu is not young anymore, so it's only right that she gets married and live the rest of her life in bliss. I mean, honestly speaking, she's like KICK-ASS rich.

But... right now, everything ended.
Boy, was I shocked...

But she sounded so calm, I can't help but feel that there must be some reason behind it.
But then again, my only wish is that Ayu will live happily.

She's strong. Really. :)


4. There's this crazy rumor that KUSANO AND UCHI who are just back in PLAYZONE will probably never return to NEWS OR KANJANI8.

this sucks. big. time. T^T


5. The problem has become so obvious that we can't really hide it, can we?

Maybe people do change.
Maybe we really hate changes.
But, what can we do about it?

I want to open my mouth to tell you.
But no voice comes out.
I'm sorry. But I'm really sad.

Can't we return to the past?
Can't I be selfish for once?



6. You

I'm sorry.
We can't return to the past anymore.

You've hurt me.

I can forgive, but it's going to be hard to forget


A wound so deep.
Pain so unbearable.
And do you think a 'sorry' will erase everything away?



Random: I'm STILL LOVING MY NEW BLOGSKIN.
It's such a beauty.
Aren't you, TRJ??? :D


















Maybe sometimes, it's better to look at the world through icy cold eyes.