Mood: grateful
Music: You Raise Me up by Celtic Women
No matter how pained we are, we still have to move on...
This song is my current favourite! :D
Alright. This song is really touching. *tears*
serious. I mean, read the lyrics, close your eyes, listen to the angelic voice, you find tears in your eyes.
This song is the theme song for 'Byakkotai' starring Yamashita Tomohisa.
But that's not the point. The point is, the song's fantastic.
It's the VERY first english song in my ipod.
So u can guess how great this song is. *winks*
:)
There'll be days when you feel useless, completely unwanted by the world.
There'll be days you feel misunderstood, lost and lonely.
There'll be times when you just want to lock yourself up and cry.
There'll be times when you believe so strongly that you won't wake up tomorrow.
Sometimes, you feel vulnerable and weak.
However, please hold on tight.
Please do not extinguish the flame of hope.
No matter how tough life seems to be, there'll always be a way out. Always.
My tears have dried.
'You Raise Me Up' just inspired me so much.
I learnt to be grateful.
Even if the days are awful, I'm grateful to be here. To be alive. Breathing, seeing, hearing, tasting, loving.
The world can be beautiful if you want it to be.
I hope everyone out there can be happy. Really. Because while I can't be happy all the time, I hope you can.
When I'm unhappy, I see you're happy, I'm happy. When you're not happy, look at other ppl out there who are happy, you'll be too. And so the cycle goes.
Just remember, the tears are not shed for nothing.
You Raise Me Up [This song has really brought tears to my eyes. It works wonder in bringing a person's spirits up.]
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
Nevermind the song lagging behind. Just listen. With your heart. :)
While listening, just remember the ones who raised you up.
And while you thought you were weak, don't underestimate the strength of humans. :)
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Reply to tags
Yeeyan: I was just lying. HAHA. no la. you're still as hot as ever. hahaha. Yup. I hope to cya again real soon! :) (before my nightmare, that is. T_T)
Aileen: thanks so much for your advice! :) yup. I'm still adjusting to JC life though. haha. but nevertheless, I hope to enjoy myself first b4 week 6 (the results would be out during that week) haha. Hope to cya around! :)
Karen: Lectures? Oh. I take Physics, Chemistry, Econs, Math and General Paper. haha. Anyway, I miss you too! T_T
Serene: you LOVE to flood me. haha. ok. That time blogger.com had some probs. So I cant return back to edit the posts. haha. IZZIT?? I always thought yihang was presenting monument. Oh shucks. >.<>
Lao Mou: HAHA. hope you had fun yesterday! Esp in the library, when we omoz got locked and the super loud TV. hahaha. with hokkien songs. lol! hope to cya again! :D
Aileen: thanks so much for your advice! :) yup. I'm still adjusting to JC life though. haha. but nevertheless, I hope to enjoy myself first b4 week 6 (the results would be out during that week) haha. Hope to cya around! :)
Karen: Lectures? Oh. I take Physics, Chemistry, Econs, Math and General Paper. haha. Anyway, I miss you too! T_T
Serene: you LOVE to flood me. haha. ok. That time blogger.com had some probs. So I cant return back to edit the posts. haha. IZZIT?? I always thought yihang was presenting monument. Oh shucks. >.<>
Lao Mou: HAHA. hope you had fun yesterday! Esp in the library, when we omoz got locked and the super loud TV. hahaha. with hokkien songs. lol! hope to cya again! :D
Walking with my head down...~*
Mood: neutral.
Music: Kirameki no Kanata E from K-Chan News (by NEWS)
Won't it be great if we can just ignore other people's remarks?
The past week has been an emotional roller coaster for me.
Well, not that anything really bad has happened to me, but mainly because I've been thinking too much.
Well, sometimes, there're things that we rather don't know.
Simply because reality is cruel.
How many times have I been repeating that phrase? haha.
but that's the truth.
I was just thinking, if I were to rate my self confidence, it would be 0.0000013/100.
Maybe I should go read up some self esteem books or something.
Since young, I never had much confidence in myself.
Be it my looks, my behaviour, performance, academic results (oh. oh my. my O's...) or anything.
But what's left of that teeny weeny bit of confidence is gradually reducing to zero.
I was on a bus heading to AMK station with serene one day and I saw the commercial on DOVE donation drive or whatever for confidence.
And I thought, "Well, that would really help me, neh?"
I don't get it.
I don't understand how come ppl can feel confident of themselves, feel pretty, feel intelligent, feel... right.
And why I can't do it.
Why must I keep hiding and hiding?
Years ago, yihang told me something b4.
Yihang: Why do you always look down when you walk?
I was really surprised.
Jasmine: Isn't that what everybody does when they walk?
Then it hit me.
No. I'm the only one who does it, the only one who doesn't have the courage to look up when I walk, to look into ppl's eyes when I speak, to raise my head high when I walk, to laugh loudly when I feel like it.
Why am I like this?
I was asking myself "Why, why am I not as good as other ppl? Why can't I ever be compared to others?"
And then the tears just flowed.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
But the feeling of hiding from everyone, retreating back into my own shell (I'm a Cancer) just comforts me.
Like a pretty pair of eyes hiding behind a pair of thick glasses.
Like gorgeous hair hidden beneath an old and obselete hat.
Like a beautiful voice restricted within a mouth that doesn't open.
Like this. And this and this and this.
You,
don't feel so bad if you're being said to look like me. I would be upset if I were you. Right now, you're shining, pretty and confident. Show it to others. Don't feel the need to hide it. Not anymore. Because no matter what, you can compare yourself to me. You'll feel much better.
And you,
don't feel obliged to say things to make me feel alright. because I never will. Don't look at me with those eyes. Because I know your eyes told me lies.
And you and you and you. I understand.
I'm like this. I can never shine. I can never feel... right.
Walking on a street, if you happen to see a girl walking with her head down,
ya, that's me.
Music: Kirameki no Kanata E from K-Chan News (by NEWS)
Won't it be great if we can just ignore other people's remarks?
The past week has been an emotional roller coaster for me.
Well, not that anything really bad has happened to me, but mainly because I've been thinking too much.
Well, sometimes, there're things that we rather don't know.
Simply because reality is cruel.
How many times have I been repeating that phrase? haha.
but that's the truth.
I was just thinking, if I were to rate my self confidence, it would be 0.0000013/100.
Maybe I should go read up some self esteem books or something.
Since young, I never had much confidence in myself.
Be it my looks, my behaviour, performance, academic results (oh. oh my. my O's...) or anything.
But what's left of that teeny weeny bit of confidence is gradually reducing to zero.
I was on a bus heading to AMK station with serene one day and I saw the commercial on DOVE donation drive or whatever for confidence.
And I thought, "Well, that would really help me, neh?"
I don't get it.
I don't understand how come ppl can feel confident of themselves, feel pretty, feel intelligent, feel... right.
And why I can't do it.
Why must I keep hiding and hiding?
Years ago, yihang told me something b4.
Yihang: Why do you always look down when you walk?
I was really surprised.
Jasmine: Isn't that what everybody does when they walk?
Then it hit me.
No. I'm the only one who does it, the only one who doesn't have the courage to look up when I walk, to look into ppl's eyes when I speak, to raise my head high when I walk, to laugh loudly when I feel like it.
Why am I like this?
I was asking myself "Why, why am I not as good as other ppl? Why can't I ever be compared to others?"
And then the tears just flowed.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
But the feeling of hiding from everyone, retreating back into my own shell (I'm a Cancer) just comforts me.
Like a pretty pair of eyes hiding behind a pair of thick glasses.
Like gorgeous hair hidden beneath an old and obselete hat.
Like a beautiful voice restricted within a mouth that doesn't open.
Like this. And this and this and this.
You,
don't feel so bad if you're being said to look like me. I would be upset if I were you. Right now, you're shining, pretty and confident. Show it to others. Don't feel the need to hide it. Not anymore. Because no matter what, you can compare yourself to me. You'll feel much better.
And you,
don't feel obliged to say things to make me feel alright. because I never will. Don't look at me with those eyes. Because I know your eyes told me lies.
And you and you and you. I understand.
I'm like this. I can never shine. I can never feel... right.
Walking on a street, if you happen to see a girl walking with her head down,
ya, that's me.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Mood: Sleeepy... *yawns*
Music: Hatenaki Sora by Kanjani8
Ahhh. Yappari it has been ages since I last updated. XD
But I'm here to revive it! haha.
Don't blame me for neglecting it ok?
It's just that blogger.com STILL holds a grudge against me.
I wrote an ULTRA long entry on AJC orientation and saved it as draft when I didn't have time to complete it.
Guess what? (u don't actually need to use your brain to predict what happened next)
It can NEVER be opened.
DAMN.
Ok. So instead of writing out every single detail of orientation and school, I shall just briefly summarize.
1. AJ Orientation was a BLAST! Yes it was really really FUN! :D (though it's tiring)
My OG (Pagonica) under the ancient (PUMERA. Yes PUMERA, the noisiest ancient in school. XD) rocks! All of us had fun playing the games etc. haha. TANOSHII!!! ^_^
Of cos there were mass dances and couple dance, but the BEST part is always saved for the last. haha.
FINALE's THE BEST! (But Fitrina wasn't there...)
My OG was sitting together, eating Oreos.
I was telling Fiona, Adeline, Wen See, Amelia and Rui Ting all the cold jokes I have.
I nearly NEARLY got killed. haha.
Nicholas and Yihang presented the monuments for their ancients and my ears nearly bled when I heard Nicholas sing. hahaha. He's WAY out of tune! But that beatbox-er? beatbox? was real cool. haha.
The best part, is still the campfire night.
All the ancients were cheering their lungs out (is there such a phrase?).
Fiona brought the whistle. XD
Anyway, the OGLs were sweet.
They had a presentation for the JC1s.
There were a few photos of our OG.
Pagonica just cheered and cheered. haha.
The BEST PART. It started raining.
Josiah (our OGL): whoever who wants to go back into the building can do so.
We looked at each other and decided to stay in AJ square.
At that time, no one cared about the rain. :D
Well, we danced in the heavy rain!
the atmosphere's REALLY HIGH!
Jasmine (my friend. haha) and I were like struggling to see through our specs and rmb how to dance. haha.
After that, everyone's drenched.
And we went back to the hall, took photos, cheered some more.
our OGLs gave us notes and packets of snacks. ^^
I wanna thank my ENTIRE OG!!! YES PAGONICA!!! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!!
You guys were really friendly and warm. Hope to see you guys around! :D
Of cos, I wanna thank my OGLs!!!
Thanks for all that you guys did for us. The games, leading the cheers, talking to us about AJ life, giving us snacks! ^_^ Thanks!
Thanks to entire AJC!!! :D
Non Mihi Solum. The AJ spirit.
2. Lessons started after orientation. At first our classes weren't formed yet. So we just attended lectures. Lotsa ppl crashed lectures. haha. The teachers are pretty good. I had all my lectures in the audi. Serene had some at the LTs.
Whenever there's break, we're definitely going to the library.
AJ's library is HUGE. 3 storeys. :D
3. Class started on Thursday. So I finally saw everybody in my class. 23/07.
Miraculously, Wen See and I ended up in the same class. haha.
Jian He from NHHS also ended up in my class.
Haven't got to know everyone but seems like most got to know me as 'Mo li'.
-____-"""
All thanks to Nicholas and Darrel, my name now is officially 'Mo Li'. as in Jasmine flower ya?
Even my classmates are starting to call me that.
"Mo Li Mo Li~~~!"
haha. And well, some even asked me if that's my real maiden name. T_T
Nicholas: hey hey kai xian, so what do you call her? *points at me*
Kai Xian: Mo Li!
OH NOOOO. NICHOLAS DARREL DIE!!!
4. I'm startin to feel the stress of JC life. All the tutorials etc etc. sigh.
5. It's rumored that we'll receive our O's results on 5th Feb--- 9th Feb latest.
You know what? My mood's really plunging.
6. There's Guitar yesterday. serene and I went guitar together. :) Guitar orientation was fun. haha. To me, at least. Cos I found a new talent. 'Hai dai'. (seaweed in mandarin) haha.
7. There's this really shocking pairing. LOL. I shall not reveal it here. But honestly, I was surprised. Cos everything we used to talk about came true. haha. All the best for this relationship! :D
8. Serene and I met up with Joyce and Yeeyan on Thursday.
:D:D:D It has been years since we last saw one another.
So we had a lot of catching up to do. It was really fun!
Glad to say, none of us really changed. haha.
Joyce still the dramatic, cute, adorable, xiao ke ai. (vomits.) HAHAHAHA. joyce, pls pls don't kill me.
Serene still the same old 'obachan' type who questions yy again and again. hahaha. The ever so curious non-stop growing machine. She's bloody tall. damn. 183 cm. wahaha. :P
Yeeyan still the wildest, high-est, spendthrift, sexy, hot chilli pepper babe. HAHAHAHA.
Me? still the most boring, coldest (as in cold jokes) same old me. yes OLD. haha.
9. I tied my hair to school! The first time in... 10 years? The first step to changing hairstyle. (what crap. LOL)
10. There're days when I was depressed, days when I felt free and happy. Right now, I hope that for the remaining days in AJC, I will be able to feel happy and embrace all my friends. :)
Did I mention that the Nanhua ppl are very united? haha.
There're days when I start recalling the days in Nanhua.
Cos our 3o8'05 sports day photo and class photo are on my desk.
So whenever I return home from school, the moment I sit down at my desk, all the memories would come back to me.
I really miss Nanhua, no matter how much I like or will like AJC.
I miss the familiar route from clementi to school, the familiar security guard, the covered walkway to canteen, the parade square, the familiar canteen food, the smiles from my classmates, teachers, panicking when there's attire check, sleeping in classes, seeing the guys fight and taipok in class etc etc.
sigh. The most beautiful memories. Locked up in my heart.
There're bound to be regrets, when we look back, but that shouldn't stop us from advancing.
If I can live again...
I did the best I could, be in as a friend, as a classmate, as a student, as a girl.
Right now, things might be different, things might be tough, but the darkest night is just a second before the sun rises.
If I can live again...
I still want to be Jasmine. The real Jasmine.
Music: Hatenaki Sora by Kanjani8
Ahhh. Yappari it has been ages since I last updated. XD
But I'm here to revive it! haha.
Don't blame me for neglecting it ok?
It's just that blogger.com STILL holds a grudge against me.
I wrote an ULTRA long entry on AJC orientation and saved it as draft when I didn't have time to complete it.
Guess what? (u don't actually need to use your brain to predict what happened next)
It can NEVER be opened.
DAMN.
Ok. So instead of writing out every single detail of orientation and school, I shall just briefly summarize.
1. AJ Orientation was a BLAST! Yes it was really really FUN! :D (though it's tiring)
My OG (Pagonica) under the ancient (PUMERA. Yes PUMERA, the noisiest ancient in school. XD) rocks! All of us had fun playing the games etc. haha. TANOSHII!!! ^_^
Of cos there were mass dances and couple dance, but the BEST part is always saved for the last. haha.
FINALE's THE BEST! (But Fitrina wasn't there...)
My OG was sitting together, eating Oreos.
I was telling Fiona, Adeline, Wen See, Amelia and Rui Ting all the cold jokes I have.
I nearly NEARLY got killed. haha.
Nicholas and Yihang presented the monuments for their ancients and my ears nearly bled when I heard Nicholas sing. hahaha. He's WAY out of tune! But that beatbox-er? beatbox? was real cool. haha.
The best part, is still the campfire night.
All the ancients were cheering their lungs out (is there such a phrase?).
Fiona brought the whistle. XD
Anyway, the OGLs were sweet.
They had a presentation for the JC1s.
There were a few photos of our OG.
Pagonica just cheered and cheered. haha.
The BEST PART. It started raining.
Josiah (our OGL): whoever who wants to go back into the building can do so.
We looked at each other and decided to stay in AJ square.
At that time, no one cared about the rain. :D
Well, we danced in the heavy rain!
the atmosphere's REALLY HIGH!
Jasmine (my friend. haha) and I were like struggling to see through our specs and rmb how to dance. haha.
After that, everyone's drenched.
And we went back to the hall, took photos, cheered some more.
our OGLs gave us notes and packets of snacks. ^^
I wanna thank my ENTIRE OG!!! YES PAGONICA!!! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!!
You guys were really friendly and warm. Hope to see you guys around! :D
Of cos, I wanna thank my OGLs!!!
Thanks for all that you guys did for us. The games, leading the cheers, talking to us about AJ life, giving us snacks! ^_^ Thanks!
Thanks to entire AJC!!! :D
Non Mihi Solum. The AJ spirit.
2. Lessons started after orientation. At first our classes weren't formed yet. So we just attended lectures. Lotsa ppl crashed lectures. haha. The teachers are pretty good. I had all my lectures in the audi. Serene had some at the LTs.
Whenever there's break, we're definitely going to the library.
AJ's library is HUGE. 3 storeys. :D
3. Class started on Thursday. So I finally saw everybody in my class. 23/07.
Miraculously, Wen See and I ended up in the same class. haha.
Jian He from NHHS also ended up in my class.
Haven't got to know everyone but seems like most got to know me as 'Mo li'.
-____-"""
All thanks to Nicholas and Darrel, my name now is officially 'Mo Li'. as in Jasmine flower ya?
Even my classmates are starting to call me that.
"Mo Li Mo Li~~~!"
haha. And well, some even asked me if that's my real maiden name. T_T
Nicholas: hey hey kai xian, so what do you call her? *points at me*
Kai Xian: Mo Li!
OH NOOOO. NICHOLAS DARREL DIE!!!
4. I'm startin to feel the stress of JC life. All the tutorials etc etc. sigh.
5. It's rumored that we'll receive our O's results on 5th Feb--- 9th Feb latest.
You know what? My mood's really plunging.
6. There's Guitar yesterday. serene and I went guitar together. :) Guitar orientation was fun. haha. To me, at least. Cos I found a new talent. 'Hai dai'. (seaweed in mandarin) haha.
7. There's this really shocking pairing. LOL. I shall not reveal it here. But honestly, I was surprised. Cos everything we used to talk about came true. haha. All the best for this relationship! :D
8. Serene and I met up with Joyce and Yeeyan on Thursday.
:D:D:D It has been years since we last saw one another.
So we had a lot of catching up to do. It was really fun!
Glad to say, none of us really changed. haha.
Joyce still the dramatic, cute, adorable, xiao ke ai. (vomits.) HAHAHAHA. joyce, pls pls don't kill me.
Serene still the same old 'obachan' type who questions yy again and again. hahaha. The ever so curious non-stop growing machine. She's bloody tall. damn. 183 cm. wahaha. :P
Yeeyan still the wildest, high-est, spendthrift, sexy, hot chilli pepper babe. HAHAHAHA.
Me? still the most boring, coldest (as in cold jokes) same old me. yes OLD. haha.
9. I tied my hair to school! The first time in... 10 years? The first step to changing hairstyle. (what crap. LOL)
10. There're days when I was depressed, days when I felt free and happy. Right now, I hope that for the remaining days in AJC, I will be able to feel happy and embrace all my friends. :)
Did I mention that the Nanhua ppl are very united? haha.
There're days when I start recalling the days in Nanhua.
Cos our 3o8'05 sports day photo and class photo are on my desk.
So whenever I return home from school, the moment I sit down at my desk, all the memories would come back to me.
I really miss Nanhua, no matter how much I like or will like AJC.
I miss the familiar route from clementi to school, the familiar security guard, the covered walkway to canteen, the parade square, the familiar canteen food, the smiles from my classmates, teachers, panicking when there's attire check, sleeping in classes, seeing the guys fight and taipok in class etc etc.
sigh. The most beautiful memories. Locked up in my heart.
There're bound to be regrets, when we look back, but that shouldn't stop us from advancing.
If I can live again...
I did the best I could, be in as a friend, as a classmate, as a student, as a girl.
Right now, things might be different, things might be tough, but the darkest night is just a second before the sun rises.
If I can live again...
I still want to be Jasmine. The real Jasmine.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year 2007~*
Mood: Peaceful
Music: My Boss My Hero OST
Minna,
HAPPY NEW(s) YEAR 2007~!~!
Well, personally, it feels just like any other day.
The only difference is probably that all my calendars have changed.
It's amazing, neh?
that year 2006 has become history.
But then again, we're always creating history. ^_^
By the way, starting from today, may everyone change for the better!
And may the year ahead be a smooth one. :)
For me, I hope to do everything I wrote in my New Year Resolution.
haha. pretty tough though.
Just watched the Sayanendou PV plus Johnny's countdown 2006-2007 concert NEWS part.
:)
Well, this is the first entry of the year.
So to make a good beginning,
TA-DA~~!
It's Ayu's appearance at Kohaku 2006.
She performed JEWEL there.
Personally, I was really impressed by her dress and hat. (YES HER HAT!! IT WAS HUGE! O.O)
but vocal wise, she sounded really tired.
Probably due to her CDL 2006-2007. ^^;;
Anyway, once again,
*~HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007! All the best for this year!!~*
Music: My Boss My Hero OST
Minna,
HAPPY NEW(s) YEAR 2007~!~!
Well, personally, it feels just like any other day.
The only difference is probably that all my calendars have changed.
It's amazing, neh?
that year 2006 has become history.
But then again, we're always creating history. ^_^
By the way, starting from today, may everyone change for the better!
And may the year ahead be a smooth one. :)
For me, I hope to do everything I wrote in my New Year Resolution.
haha. pretty tough though.
Just watched the Sayanendou PV plus Johnny's countdown 2006-2007 concert NEWS part.
:)
Well, this is the first entry of the year.
So to make a good beginning,
TA-DA~~!
It's Ayu's appearance at Kohaku 2006.
She performed JEWEL there.
Personally, I was really impressed by her dress and hat. (YES HER HAT!! IT WAS HUGE! O.O)
but vocal wise, she sounded really tired.
Probably due to her CDL 2006-2007. ^^;;
Anyway, once again,
*~HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007! All the best for this year!!~*
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