Mood: relaxed.
Music: Love Song by Yamapi
Am I really different from the rest of the people?
Different from other teenagers?
Karen: you're not an ordinary girl. you think in a different way.
hmm...
Maybe my life's doomed to be tougher than others.
or maybe I just think too much.
My brain functions differently.
haha.
Yesterday:
Went out with my sister and cousins.
At first we thought we're gonna be late but fortunately, they were later. lol.
We went to HMV first and chatted on the way.
then we ended up at crystal jade for dinner.
It was Weilong's birthday yesterday.
So we celebrated for him
Using CONG YOU BING with toothpicks.
cheapskate but it was creative rite? haha.
and we treated him to dinner.
After that we walked around and chatted.
Planned to go arcade but something cropped up and ruined our moods totally.
So we were like bombarding him with calls and all of us were so worried.
Turned out he couldn't find us at ngee ann city.
hmm..
anyway, after that we had supper and yi liang treated us to drinks and this plate of chicken wings, fries, nuggets, onion rings and salad.
He's like so nice la! :D
And we walked around and chatted and left there at around 11pm.
Everything was ok until well, something happened.
Weilong's so gonna kill him.
But nevertheless, we made another yakusoku to hang out again after my Os and yi liang's As(?).
The day before yesterday:
Was dragged to Raffles City by my sister.
I was carrying so many books and this really heavy bag.
Poor poor me.
Then we went orchard when she realized what she wanted wasn't there.
I was truly amazed at how high my tolerance level was.
And finally, she bought this FLASHING pink puma cap, PINK adidas make up bag, PINK adidas bag for ME, and a brown adidas bag for herself.
Pink for me?!
I didn't even know it was for me.
And pink is so not my colour.
Fortunately, it's ROSE pink. Not some flashing striking pink.
And we went coffee bean afterwards for coffee.
Then we left.
I was on the verge of dying already.
I was like SOOOO tired.
ok. I guess I've written enough things about my daily life.
I realized that I can't write well when it comes to daily stuff.
Everything just seems dead when I write them out.
Do you prefer the day or the night?
The dark or the bright?
I definitely adore the night.
Sometimes, just staring out into the darkened sky and feeling the cool breeze will somehow make me feel that everything's gonna be alright.
The silence of the neighbourhood. Perfect.
I'm proud of my loneliness.
Last time when I first came across this sentence, I was wondering,
how is that possible?
But now, I realize that sometimes, being alone is actually a good way to see things in another perspective.
What's so bad about being alone?
Unpopular. Loner. Pathetic.
hmm...
Everyone likes to steorotype people are always seen alone as losers or AP.
All of us do.
Human beings are indeed shallow.
the more we try to make ourselves popular, the more we show others that we're feeling lonely inside.
I want to let the whole world know I'm popular because I want to deceive myself.
I want the whole world to know me because I don't want to face up to reality.
I want to be known simply because I don't know myself.
I like anonymity because
I'm proud of my loneliness.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Live to love~*
Mood: sleepy. just woke up from sleep.
Music: Over ~Across The Time~ by BoA
One year ago, the annual Musical competition just ended.
haha. I was reading my archives and was pretty amused when the memories of the horrendous musical came back to my mind.
back to musical.
seriously, I tink we're fantastic cos almost all of us forgot our lines and we jus tot of something to say or sing impromptu.
haha. Nicholas n I completely lost it at the beginnin cos the music was way too fast.
So I ended up singing one verse and changed the lyrics cos i FORGOT. lols. ok larh. tt's wat i call creativity and quick witted.
yay to 3o8!
Dated July 26th 2005 Tuesday
Past is past.
But sometimes, don't you wish you could go back to the past and make changes to decisions you make?
oh well.
Let's not think of the impossible.
I'm in the mood to sleep.
I told myself I would sleep for 15 minutes but to my horror, I only woke up 1 hour later.
But anyway, it's good cos it sorta cleared my mind.
SORTA.
Now i'm feeling all giddy and sleepy.
Tsk. the negative part about naps.
I like the commercial on cameras.
It's true that some see more than others.
More observant people see more.
People who feel the world can see things others can't see.
Logical people just see what there is for them to see.
Thinkers see things others can't see.
Me?
A partially blind person.
Sometimes, I admit I'm blinded by so many things around me that I can't see.
I wished I could see things more clearly.
People who've cried see things more clearly.
People who've been hurt feel people more thoroughly.
I wished I could blog more about normal daily stuff instead of all these things no one's interested in.
Tsk.
Ayu's gone.
There's practically NO news of her at all.
No one knows what she's doing.
Makes me kinda worried.
What if she's going into some kind of hiding? *gasp*
Anyway let's talk about daily stuff.
A Math --- Had Vectors test. Thanks goodness I didn't do too bad. Or else I tell you I'm really going to lose faith in myself. Math is just not my subject. I feel I can't understand it and it doesn't get me. We're like from 2 different worlds.
Since young, I just didn't get Math.
I totally suck in it. Even primary school math was too tough for me.
I really really disliked it.
But I knew I had to overcome that fear for it.
And I've yet to find a way.
Just today. I was so frustrated, panicky, freaked that I actually shed tears over Kinematics.
WTH?!
I've got to learn to like Math. And it has got to learn to live with me.
PE --- Rugby.
hahaha. We had games and it was hilarious.
Whenever I had the ball, there'll be like 7895465213 people charging towards me.
I ran with it. But the thought of so many people reaching out to touch me freaked me out and I just threw the ball back. hahaha.
I feel I've got no PE genes at all too. we don't click too well, although we click better than Math.
Chemistry --- went through theory wb.
Mrs Lim's getting really really angry with guys in class.
And she's starting to make people stay back to do Chem paper. To make sure they practise.
Pure History --- had test on Chapter 14 and 15.
ARGHH. It's hard. I didnt really get the question. despite the 2 minutes of open book, I still don't get the question. and I'm afraid I wrote out of point. sigh.
Enrichment (Math) --- refer to above.
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feelings to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more that I need you
By Chicago. 'You're the inspiration'
Hey I love this song to bits! :D
Although it's like sang in the 80s? or 70s?
hmm...
Everyone lives to love. And we love to live.
LOL. yea right.
Music: Over ~Across The Time~ by BoA
One year ago, the annual Musical competition just ended.
haha. I was reading my archives and was pretty amused when the memories of the horrendous musical came back to my mind.
back to musical.
seriously, I tink we're fantastic cos almost all of us forgot our lines and we jus tot of something to say or sing impromptu.
haha. Nicholas n I completely lost it at the beginnin cos the music was way too fast.
So I ended up singing one verse and changed the lyrics cos i FORGOT. lols. ok larh. tt's wat i call creativity and quick witted.
yay to 3o8!
Dated July 26th 2005 Tuesday
Past is past.
But sometimes, don't you wish you could go back to the past and make changes to decisions you make?
oh well.
Let's not think of the impossible.
I'm in the mood to sleep.
I told myself I would sleep for 15 minutes but to my horror, I only woke up 1 hour later.
But anyway, it's good cos it sorta cleared my mind.
SORTA.
Now i'm feeling all giddy and sleepy.
Tsk. the negative part about naps.
I like the commercial on cameras.
It's true that some see more than others.
More observant people see more.
People who feel the world can see things others can't see.
Logical people just see what there is for them to see.
Thinkers see things others can't see.
Me?
A partially blind person.
Sometimes, I admit I'm blinded by so many things around me that I can't see.
I wished I could see things more clearly.
People who've cried see things more clearly.
People who've been hurt feel people more thoroughly.
I wished I could blog more about normal daily stuff instead of all these things no one's interested in.
Tsk.
Ayu's gone.
There's practically NO news of her at all.
No one knows what she's doing.
Makes me kinda worried.
What if she's going into some kind of hiding? *gasp*
Anyway let's talk about daily stuff.
A Math --- Had Vectors test. Thanks goodness I didn't do too bad. Or else I tell you I'm really going to lose faith in myself. Math is just not my subject. I feel I can't understand it and it doesn't get me. We're like from 2 different worlds.
Since young, I just didn't get Math.
I totally suck in it. Even primary school math was too tough for me.
I really really disliked it.
But I knew I had to overcome that fear for it.
And I've yet to find a way.
Just today. I was so frustrated, panicky, freaked that I actually shed tears over Kinematics.
WTH?!
I've got to learn to like Math. And it has got to learn to live with me.
PE --- Rugby.
hahaha. We had games and it was hilarious.
Whenever I had the ball, there'll be like 7895465213 people charging towards me.
I ran with it. But the thought of so many people reaching out to touch me freaked me out and I just threw the ball back. hahaha.
I feel I've got no PE genes at all too. we don't click too well, although we click better than Math.
Chemistry --- went through theory wb.
Mrs Lim's getting really really angry with guys in class.
And she's starting to make people stay back to do Chem paper. To make sure they practise.
Pure History --- had test on Chapter 14 and 15.
ARGHH. It's hard. I didnt really get the question. despite the 2 minutes of open book, I still don't get the question. and I'm afraid I wrote out of point. sigh.
Enrichment (Math) --- refer to above.
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feelings to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more that I need you
By Chicago. 'You're the inspiration'
Hey I love this song to bits! :D
Although it's like sang in the 80s? or 70s?
hmm...
Everyone lives to love. And we love to live.
LOL. yea right.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Friends. gone.~*
Mood: thinking...
Music: Beauty and the Beast (celine dion) dun ask me y I'm listenin to this song.
Had flag day today.
And I conclude that people from the middle age group are the most generous out of all.
Young people hardly donates, even if you flash your sweetest smile, use your gentlest tone.
Senior citizens are very Very generous too.
Angela, Yeeyan and I journeyed to the West.
and we got lots of people donating.
But the bad thing is they don't take the stickers. =(
And I'm left with like 879546132 stickers.
And yeeyan and I ran into perverts. o.O
but overall it was fun.
=)
Nowadays I like to just sit and gaze into the sky.
It's beautiful.
I'll start to wander, how much time do I have to appreciate the beauty around me?
Soon, when we start working, hurrying from places to places, we won't have the time to stop and just look around us.
People. Things. Objects. Everything.
Unknowingly, we'll forget about them.
That day.
I sat outside the class with Yeeyan, leaning against the lockers, just silently gazing at the sky.
Then suddenly, lots of memories came back to me.
The time when 3o8'05 girls sat in a row outside class, alternating.
People passing by would always ask if we need their donations.
And we sang, laughed, crapped, blocking people's road.
those were the days.
And they're gone.
Looking back at our class now, something must've happened.
But no one knows what.
Everything changed. No reason.
Everyone changed. All the 32 of us.
Something was gone.
That laughter.
Serene joined us afterwards.
And she said something really meaningful.
Serene: Sec sch is the time you can find your best friends. Because we're not immature, nor are we mature.
That's so true.
When we're in primary school all we talk about is
A friends B.
B doesn't friend A cos B friends C and A doesn't friend C.
childish friendships. Innocent.
When we grow up, enter the society, it'll become
A becomes friends with B cos B has ties with C, the boss.
D backstabs A cos D wans to get promoted first.
Complicating friendships. Evil.
Whenever we gain something, we lose something.
I'm rotting.
I really am.
My brain, my heart.
I feel truly exhausted.
Wanting to be understood, but there're things I don't want people to understand.
I yearn for this.
But I'm not prepared to take the pain it comes along with.
I'm sorry.
NO. NO. I'm getting all emotional, blabbering on and on about bullshit.
I don't even know what I was writing about. o.O
Another thing.
People who judge by appearance are shallow.
I'm sorry, but everyone is shallow.
OK. enough is enough.
Random thing:
DAMN!
Fruts Basket 20's out for SOOO bloody long without me knowing.
Sis bought it last week. Finished it yesterday. She handed over to me only a few days ago.
Gosh. It's sad.
It causes my emotions to spiral out of control.
But anyway, Kyou knows Tohru likes him
And
Akito's NOT a bad person at all. Trust me, it's her MUM who's loony.
Go buy it people! It's Machi(yuki's fav girl) on the cover!
After all the good things, all that's left are memories...
Music: Beauty and the Beast (celine dion) dun ask me y I'm listenin to this song.
Had flag day today.
And I conclude that people from the middle age group are the most generous out of all.
Young people hardly donates, even if you flash your sweetest smile, use your gentlest tone.
Senior citizens are very Very generous too.
Angela, Yeeyan and I journeyed to the West.
and we got lots of people donating.
But the bad thing is they don't take the stickers. =(
And I'm left with like 879546132 stickers.
And yeeyan and I ran into perverts. o.O
but overall it was fun.
=)
Nowadays I like to just sit and gaze into the sky.
It's beautiful.
I'll start to wander, how much time do I have to appreciate the beauty around me?
Soon, when we start working, hurrying from places to places, we won't have the time to stop and just look around us.
People. Things. Objects. Everything.
Unknowingly, we'll forget about them.
That day.
I sat outside the class with Yeeyan, leaning against the lockers, just silently gazing at the sky.
Then suddenly, lots of memories came back to me.
The time when 3o8'05 girls sat in a row outside class, alternating.
People passing by would always ask if we need their donations.
And we sang, laughed, crapped, blocking people's road.
those were the days.
And they're gone.
Looking back at our class now, something must've happened.
But no one knows what.
Everything changed. No reason.
Everyone changed. All the 32 of us.
Something was gone.
That laughter.
Serene joined us afterwards.
And she said something really meaningful.
Serene: Sec sch is the time you can find your best friends. Because we're not immature, nor are we mature.
That's so true.
When we're in primary school all we talk about is
A friends B.
B doesn't friend A cos B friends C and A doesn't friend C.
childish friendships. Innocent.
When we grow up, enter the society, it'll become
A becomes friends with B cos B has ties with C, the boss.
D backstabs A cos D wans to get promoted first.
Complicating friendships. Evil.
Whenever we gain something, we lose something.
I'm rotting.
I really am.
My brain, my heart.
I feel truly exhausted.
Wanting to be understood, but there're things I don't want people to understand.
I yearn for this.
But I'm not prepared to take the pain it comes along with.
I'm sorry.
NO. NO. I'm getting all emotional, blabbering on and on about bullshit.
I don't even know what I was writing about. o.O
Another thing.
People who judge by appearance are shallow.
I'm sorry, but everyone is shallow.
OK. enough is enough.
Random thing:
DAMN!
Fruts Basket 20's out for SOOO bloody long without me knowing.
Sis bought it last week. Finished it yesterday. She handed over to me only a few days ago.
Gosh. It's sad.
It causes my emotions to spiral out of control.
But anyway, Kyou knows Tohru likes him
And
Akito's NOT a bad person at all. Trust me, it's her MUM who's loony.
Go buy it people! It's Machi(yuki's fav girl) on the cover!
After all the good things, all that's left are memories...
Friday, July 21, 2006
Special thanks~*
Mood: HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY :D
Music: nothing.
Damn! I had the greatest surprise of the year! serious!
haha. ok the story goes like this--->
yesterday, cos I was carrying lots of stuff in my arms and I couldn't possibly watch a movie with so many things, serene (being a kind soul) offered to help me take an SS book.
So today, I was supposed to take it back from her at around night, cos I had piano and dinner with mum afterwards.
I was waiting patiently for her call.
Time goes by...
soon, it was 9.30 (I guess) and no call.
Finally, she called and asked me to come down.
Relieved, I sprinted downstairs, dressed only in Tshirt and shorts
And she was no where to be seen.
That was when I saw something...
Something....
YEEYAN JOYCE SERENE!!!
haha. ok mayb it should be 'someone'
but ANYWAY, tt's not the point.
The point is, THEY'VE PREPARED A SURPRISE CELEBRATION FOR ME!!!!!!
hahaha.
ok there were LOADS of candles
And they were arranged in 'We LOVE Jas'
Gosh. I was really really touched! :D
And Serene's mp3 speaker was playing Ayu's 'Evolution'!
haha. there were 2 birthday cakes and potato chips. haha.
Poor girls were trying to light the candles. haha.
I must repeat, I'm DARN touched la!
It is perhaps the greatest surprise I've gotten in my whole 16 yrs of living.
And we acted like idiots. Singing, dancing, playing, taking stupid photos. haha.
=D
-----------------Written on 15th July 2006-----------------------------
Mood: So-so
Music: Arekara (FMP song)
My entry was incomplete that time cos my sister barged into the room out of the blue.
oh well.
Looking back, I realized I've lived my whole 16 yrs like shit.
haha.
KNS (angela's line)
Since young, I didn't have any achievements, didn't have any fantastic results, no remarkable talents, fascinating events happening to me, I'm not exceptionally rich, nor am I pretty.
I'm just so ordinary, so so ordinary that no one will take notice me.
Nevertheless, I've lived for 16 yrs.
I've suffered for 16 yrs.
This number may seem small to many, but to me, it just proves to me how much strength we actually have.
To pull through the darkest moments of our lives, to stand up after every fall.
Even if life sucks, we still managed to make it un-suck.
Although human beings are n
Cut the crap.
I'm using the rest of this entry to THANK PEOPLE. haha.
1. SERENE!!! (thanks so so so so much for that special gift you gave me. It's really one of the most wonderful things I've received. :D)
2. YEEYAN JOYCE SERENE!!!!! (for that wonderful surprise! hahaha. gosh. I was truly touched. haha. I just wanna kiss all of you on the spot! thanks so so so much for making my birthday so so so wonderful! You guys never fail to make my sucky life wonderful. =D)
3. JOYCE SERENE YEEYAN ZUHUI ANGELA PEI RONG!!! (that T-shirt! the Tarot cards, key-chain and ENORMOUS lollipop! thanks so so so much. I love them! haha. although the lollipop makes me feel sick. haha. thanks girls! *muacks*)
4. Family (for that really fruity bday cake. haha. and the presents!! and everything you've done for the past 16 years. :D)
5. KAREN!!! (thanks for that really touching story. haha. GABKT and EL! LOL. if only it were true! haha thanks girl. for always celebrating my bday with me online! haha.)
6. The many birthday wishes I received!
From Yi Liang (my most beloved cousin. he rocks. thanks so much to wish me happy bday at exactly 12 midnight =) Ernest, Jiayi!, Cindy!, Ivan, Qian Ru (girl, I missed you so so so much!) , Siong Aik, Huishan (my darling daughter. haha), DAD, Raphael (you never fail to remember. haha), Aileen!(my dearest choir senior. Love ya too. and miss you lots!), Yi Hang, Weicheng (you almost forgot! haha.), JOYCE, YEEYAN, Weilong (you never forget! my dear cousin!:D) SERENE, (whom I tot was the last. but she accidentally sent it at the wrong time. hahaha), Gwendolyn(my choir junior! hahaha. love ya lots too, though you suck too. haha :D), Yuntian! (you're so so so slow! haha thanks! *muacks*), Yubing!, Li Qian (you pesky monkey. haha.), Liza! haha (my OTHER daughter. thanks! u always remember! :D)
7. The 16 real pink roses.
8. The 2 star stuff toys. haha.
gosh. having a bloody headache just typing all the names. haha.
Sometimes I'll feel, if I'm left without any friends, what will become of me?
Nothing. An absolute loner. A blank piece of paper.
I want to embrace all my friends.
Shout out to the world how much I love all of them, how much they mean to me.
=D
May I have the courage one day to let the whole world know,
let all of them know,
that the people who entered my life, even if they've left or found their own happiness,
let them know
I'll always always be there for them, always treaure them, always love them.
I wanna tell everyone
"Because you're here, that's why I'm here"
Music: nothing.
Damn! I had the greatest surprise of the year! serious!
haha. ok the story goes like this--->
yesterday, cos I was carrying lots of stuff in my arms and I couldn't possibly watch a movie with so many things, serene (being a kind soul) offered to help me take an SS book.
So today, I was supposed to take it back from her at around night, cos I had piano and dinner with mum afterwards.
I was waiting patiently for her call.
Time goes by...
soon, it was 9.30 (I guess) and no call.
Finally, she called and asked me to come down.
Relieved, I sprinted downstairs, dressed only in Tshirt and shorts
And she was no where to be seen.
That was when I saw something...
Something....
YEEYAN JOYCE SERENE!!!
haha. ok mayb it should be 'someone'
but ANYWAY, tt's not the point.
The point is, THEY'VE PREPARED A SURPRISE CELEBRATION FOR ME!!!!!!
hahaha.
ok there were LOADS of candles
And they were arranged in 'We LOVE Jas'
Gosh. I was really really touched! :D
And Serene's mp3 speaker was playing Ayu's 'Evolution'!
haha. there were 2 birthday cakes and potato chips. haha.
Poor girls were trying to light the candles. haha.
I must repeat, I'm DARN touched la!
It is perhaps the greatest surprise I've gotten in my whole 16 yrs of living.
And we acted like idiots. Singing, dancing, playing, taking stupid photos. haha.
=D
-----------------Written on 15th July 2006-----------------------------
Mood: So-so
Music: Arekara (FMP song)
My entry was incomplete that time cos my sister barged into the room out of the blue.
oh well.
Looking back, I realized I've lived my whole 16 yrs like shit.
haha.
KNS (angela's line)
Since young, I didn't have any achievements, didn't have any fantastic results, no remarkable talents, fascinating events happening to me, I'm not exceptionally rich, nor am I pretty.
I'm just so ordinary, so so ordinary that no one will take notice me.
Nevertheless, I've lived for 16 yrs.
I've suffered for 16 yrs.
This number may seem small to many, but to me, it just proves to me how much strength we actually have.
To pull through the darkest moments of our lives, to stand up after every fall.
Even if life sucks, we still managed to make it un-suck.
Although human beings are n
Cut the crap.
I'm using the rest of this entry to THANK PEOPLE. haha.
1. SERENE!!! (thanks so so so so much for that special gift you gave me. It's really one of the most wonderful things I've received. :D)
2. YEEYAN JOYCE SERENE!!!!! (for that wonderful surprise! hahaha. gosh. I was truly touched. haha. I just wanna kiss all of you on the spot! thanks so so so much for making my birthday so so so wonderful! You guys never fail to make my sucky life wonderful. =D)
3. JOYCE SERENE YEEYAN ZUHUI ANGELA PEI RONG!!! (that T-shirt! the Tarot cards, key-chain and ENORMOUS lollipop! thanks so so so much. I love them! haha. although the lollipop makes me feel sick. haha. thanks girls! *muacks*)
4. Family (for that really fruity bday cake. haha. and the presents!! and everything you've done for the past 16 years. :D)
5. KAREN!!! (thanks for that really touching story. haha. GABKT and EL! LOL. if only it were true! haha thanks girl. for always celebrating my bday with me online! haha.)
6. The many birthday wishes I received!
From Yi Liang (my most beloved cousin. he rocks. thanks so much to wish me happy bday at exactly 12 midnight =) Ernest, Jiayi!, Cindy!, Ivan, Qian Ru (girl, I missed you so so so much!) , Siong Aik, Huishan (my darling daughter. haha), DAD, Raphael (you never fail to remember. haha), Aileen!(my dearest choir senior. Love ya too. and miss you lots!), Yi Hang, Weicheng (you almost forgot! haha.), JOYCE, YEEYAN, Weilong (you never forget! my dear cousin!:D) SERENE, (whom I tot was the last. but she accidentally sent it at the wrong time. hahaha), Gwendolyn(my choir junior! hahaha. love ya lots too, though you suck too. haha :D), Yuntian! (you're so so so slow! haha thanks! *muacks*), Yubing!, Li Qian (you pesky monkey. haha.), Liza! haha (my OTHER daughter. thanks! u always remember! :D)
7. The 16 real pink roses.
8. The 2 star stuff toys. haha.
gosh. having a bloody headache just typing all the names. haha.
Sometimes I'll feel, if I'm left without any friends, what will become of me?
Nothing. An absolute loner. A blank piece of paper.
I want to embrace all my friends.
Shout out to the world how much I love all of them, how much they mean to me.
=D
May I have the courage one day to let the whole world know,
let all of them know,
that the people who entered my life, even if they've left or found their own happiness,
let them know
I'll always always be there for them, always treaure them, always love them.
I wanna tell everyone
"Because you're here, that's why I'm here"
Saturday, July 15, 2006
YOU~*
Mood: empty. wishing everything hadn't happened...
Music: Shinkai no Kodoku
Everytime, the person closest to you will be the one who hurt you the most...
I've believed that sentence for as long as I live.
Trust.
Such a big word.
To be able to trust a person takes a lot of time, energy. Unknowingly, when that person betrays your trust, for an instant, you'll feel it's the end of the world.
And if you trust was betrayed without a particular reason, it just makes things even more complicating.
I won't say any incident in particular, but I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about.
Right and Wrong.
How do you truly define the two words?
Who's right who's wrong.
"You nothing but a ****ing bastard"
If someone calls you that, is that right?
I'm in no position to judge a person. But if I were unpleased with a person, I won't use harsh words like that.
And I'm in no position to correct you. I have no right to comment about you.
I've been called a 'prostitute' before. Trust me, it doesn't feel good.
oh well.
It might have been wrong for us to prob, but at least we know the truth now.
And while you're wondering why I am angry when u didnt say anything very bad about me, I feel for my friends.
It's unjustified.
ok enough.
Sometimes I wonder is it possible to feel this bad just a day before your own birthday?
OH WELL.
ok yesterday I watched Pirates of the Carribean with 4o8 peeps.
So many of us turned up. At first it was really chaotic. haha.
People without tickets, drinks spilled. haha.
And Yeeyan and I were constantly disturbed by 2 pairs of hands from the back (Nicholas and Li qian)
And we had a short popcorn fight. haha.
Tell you what. Nicholas looks even worse that the guy with tentacles. (fine fine I know I'm stupid to not know his name)
And after that we had dinner together.
Thanks Serene, Joyce, Yeeyan, Zuhui, Pei Rong and Angela
for the wonderful presents!!!
I love them lots, esp the shirt. hahaha. thanks! *muacks*
Past is past.
Just think about it, we're walking past today at this very instant.
We're already wasting time feeling upset.
Time to stand up again.
Music: Shinkai no Kodoku
Everytime, the person closest to you will be the one who hurt you the most...
I've believed that sentence for as long as I live.
Trust.
Such a big word.
To be able to trust a person takes a lot of time, energy. Unknowingly, when that person betrays your trust, for an instant, you'll feel it's the end of the world.
And if you trust was betrayed without a particular reason, it just makes things even more complicating.
I won't say any incident in particular, but I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about.
Right and Wrong.
How do you truly define the two words?
Who's right who's wrong.
"You nothing but a ****ing bastard"
If someone calls you that, is that right?
I'm in no position to judge a person. But if I were unpleased with a person, I won't use harsh words like that.
And I'm in no position to correct you. I have no right to comment about you.
I've been called a 'prostitute' before. Trust me, it doesn't feel good.
oh well.
It might have been wrong for us to prob, but at least we know the truth now.
And while you're wondering why I am angry when u didnt say anything very bad about me, I feel for my friends.
It's unjustified.
ok enough.
Sometimes I wonder is it possible to feel this bad just a day before your own birthday?
OH WELL.
ok yesterday I watched Pirates of the Carribean with 4o8 peeps.
So many of us turned up. At first it was really chaotic. haha.
People without tickets, drinks spilled. haha.
And Yeeyan and I were constantly disturbed by 2 pairs of hands from the back (Nicholas and Li qian)
And we had a short popcorn fight. haha.
Tell you what. Nicholas looks even worse that the guy with tentacles. (fine fine I know I'm stupid to not know his name)
And after that we had dinner together.
Thanks Serene, Joyce, Yeeyan, Zuhui, Pei Rong and Angela
for the wonderful presents!!!
I love them lots, esp the shirt. hahaha. thanks! *muacks*
Past is past.
Just think about it, we're walking past today at this very instant.
We're already wasting time feeling upset.
Time to stand up again.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Realize~*
Mood: relaxed.
Music: REALIZE by Melody! (yes yeeyan, serene!)
Ok, instead of complaining about how shitty life is, I'm gonna talk about usual school life.
yea. surprised?
1. Had CD lesson.
Went to com lab. Mrs Lim was carrying a huge stack of papers. that was when I knew our dreaded moment is here. The chemistry test. But turn out everyone scored pretty well. A great relief. *phew* then Nicholas showed us some videos. I really love the one with Ayu's songs! AYU ROCKS. And the song playing's one of my FAVOURITES! EVOLUTION AND WHO...!!!
ok. that's not the main point. But somehow, our class has to come up with a decent video SOON.
well, I can provide some videos I took for past outings. I have some pictures as well.
- SEOUL GARDEN video (I tried to take vid of everyone)
- Normal 3o8'05 day. (everyone (I guess) was in the video)
- BBQ at Joyce's house (the girls)
- Sports Day '06 (just some ah-siao fooling around)
well, since it's our first and last video we'll be taking, if the class needs the videos I can send to yubin.
oh oh. Can I suggest something? Can we have ayu's song as background music? haha okok. It's just a stupid suggestion. I know I'll kenna hacked by many ppl. Den what about REALIZE? okok. I'll shut up for now.
2. Physics lesson. Completed most of the Electronics worksheet. I can tell Mr Peh's very stressed when we kept bombarding him with questions. haha. oh well.
3. Pure History. EH?! Ms Khoo's not here today?? We were genuinely surprised. And the whole class wasted time. haha. some were playing and the rest were doing some work, I guess. Yeeyan, serene and I were playing music. haha. yes REALIZE rocks! ^^ and well, get well soon, Ms Khoo.
4. Elec Geog. Finally, Mr Yeo scolded the class. And talked about how pathetic he was at the National Stadium. Seriously, I feel really bad for him. I mean, what's the world coming to?!?!
Oh. and we did map-reading. Actually just jotted down answers.
(Now the music changed to ANOTHER CHRISTMAS by Kinki Kids. Don't scream alr, serene.)
5. After lunch, we had TRIPLE ENGLISH *grooooooaaaaaaaanssss*
Thank goodness, I wasn't called to do oral one to one. Boy was I freaked when Mdm Zuraidah announced that she would be calling ppl at random to do oral. Meanwhile, the rest of us did TYS Comprehension. While I was reading the passage, I could really hear my heart thump ferociously against my chest. I was THAT freaked cos I'm called everytime without fail. HENG ARH.
6. Went to eat at Mac. ^^
Anyway, do u guys know that Serene's SO slow, she only understands things after everyone already understood 15 sec before. hahaha. Yes SLOWPOKE! =P
And Joyce, Yeeyan, Serene and I have decided to produce a horror film in future. haha. It's gonna be a super low budget movie with only 3 actors/actresses. haha. yeah, please look out for us in future.
Movie outing this friday! Seems like many ppl will be turning up. ^^
Anyway, having SS test and pure Hist test next week and next next week.
Random thing:
My sis returned from TAIWAN. haha. and brought SOOO many goodies. VCDs la, mostly. and food, snacks.
Ever heard of 'Qing tian wa wa'? Yea, she got me one keychain of 'Qing Tian Wa Wa'. Adorable. haha. But it can never be compared to the $$ I forked out for her bday present... haix.
And the most impressive thing is her new CAMERA! SONY CYBER-SHOT $700 +++++++
Damn cool, I tell u. The screen's HUGE! anti shake, anti blur, etc etc.
haha. Although I won't be able to use com as often, won't be able to watch TV as often, will be screamed and shouted at everyday, I'm still glad she's back. haha.
REALIZE by Melody (theme song of Dragon Zakura)
I can go forward without losing my way
I'm getting closer to my wish
I see the light
wake up, stand up
I'll try going towards tomorrow once again
Look at my small hands--
With them, I held on tight & grasped my precious
The visions in me seem to be lost
I don't want to lose my own way
Do you know that I want it all
Don't forget the dream in my heart
continues to shine
I can go forward without losing my way
I'm getting closer to my wish
Someday I'll make the flower full of light bloom
I see the light wake up, stand up
I'll try to go towards tomorrow once again
Here I am.
When I closed my eyes,
I realized that I wasn't alone
My dry heart is stained with tears of happiness once again
I promise from now on
that while I feel the beating that
began to move in my heart
I will be determined to carry things out
I want to run like this, so
someday at the place where I used dream,
"a-ha-ha" I'm laughing
wake up, stand up
I get up and try over and over again
Music: REALIZE by Melody! (yes yeeyan, serene!)
Ok, instead of complaining about how shitty life is, I'm gonna talk about usual school life.
yea. surprised?
1. Had CD lesson.
Went to com lab. Mrs Lim was carrying a huge stack of papers. that was when I knew our dreaded moment is here. The chemistry test. But turn out everyone scored pretty well. A great relief. *phew* then Nicholas showed us some videos. I really love the one with Ayu's songs! AYU ROCKS. And the song playing's one of my FAVOURITES! EVOLUTION AND WHO...!!!
ok. that's not the main point. But somehow, our class has to come up with a decent video SOON.
well, I can provide some videos I took for past outings. I have some pictures as well.
- SEOUL GARDEN video (I tried to take vid of everyone)
- Normal 3o8'05 day. (everyone (I guess) was in the video)
- BBQ at Joyce's house (the girls)
- Sports Day '06 (just some ah-siao fooling around)
well, since it's our first and last video we'll be taking, if the class needs the videos I can send to yubin.
oh oh. Can I suggest something? Can we have ayu's song as background music? haha okok. It's just a stupid suggestion. I know I'll kenna hacked by many ppl. Den what about REALIZE? okok. I'll shut up for now.
2. Physics lesson. Completed most of the Electronics worksheet. I can tell Mr Peh's very stressed when we kept bombarding him with questions. haha. oh well.
3. Pure History. EH?! Ms Khoo's not here today?? We were genuinely surprised. And the whole class wasted time. haha. some were playing and the rest were doing some work, I guess. Yeeyan, serene and I were playing music. haha. yes REALIZE rocks! ^^ and well, get well soon, Ms Khoo.
4. Elec Geog. Finally, Mr Yeo scolded the class. And talked about how pathetic he was at the National Stadium. Seriously, I feel really bad for him. I mean, what's the world coming to?!?!
Oh. and we did map-reading. Actually just jotted down answers.
(Now the music changed to ANOTHER CHRISTMAS by Kinki Kids. Don't scream alr, serene.)
5. After lunch, we had TRIPLE ENGLISH *grooooooaaaaaaaanssss*
Thank goodness, I wasn't called to do oral one to one. Boy was I freaked when Mdm Zuraidah announced that she would be calling ppl at random to do oral. Meanwhile, the rest of us did TYS Comprehension. While I was reading the passage, I could really hear my heart thump ferociously against my chest. I was THAT freaked cos I'm called everytime without fail. HENG ARH.
6. Went to eat at Mac. ^^
Anyway, do u guys know that Serene's SO slow, she only understands things after everyone already understood 15 sec before. hahaha. Yes SLOWPOKE! =P
And Joyce, Yeeyan, Serene and I have decided to produce a horror film in future. haha. It's gonna be a super low budget movie with only 3 actors/actresses. haha. yeah, please look out for us in future.
Movie outing this friday! Seems like many ppl will be turning up. ^^
Anyway, having SS test and pure Hist test next week and next next week.
Random thing:
My sis returned from TAIWAN. haha. and brought SOOO many goodies. VCDs la, mostly. and food, snacks.
Ever heard of 'Qing tian wa wa'? Yea, she got me one keychain of 'Qing Tian Wa Wa'. Adorable. haha. But it can never be compared to the $$ I forked out for her bday present... haix.
And the most impressive thing is her new CAMERA! SONY CYBER-SHOT $700 +++++++
Damn cool, I tell u. The screen's HUGE! anti shake, anti blur, etc etc.
haha. Although I won't be able to use com as often, won't be able to watch TV as often, will be screamed and shouted at everyday, I'm still glad she's back. haha.
REALIZE by Melody (theme song of Dragon Zakura)
I can go forward without losing my way
I'm getting closer to my wish
I see the light
wake up, stand up
I'll try going towards tomorrow once again
Look at my small hands--
With them, I held on tight & grasped my precious
The visions in me seem to be lost
I don't want to lose my own way
Do you know that I want it all
Don't forget the dream in my heart
continues to shine
I can go forward without losing my way
I'm getting closer to my wish
Someday I'll make the flower full of light bloom
I see the light wake up, stand up
I'll try to go towards tomorrow once again
Here I am.
When I closed my eyes,
I realized that I wasn't alone
My dry heart is stained with tears of happiness once again
I promise from now on
that while I feel the beating that
began to move in my heart
I will be determined to carry things out
I want to run like this, so
someday at the place where I used dream,
"a-ha-ha" I'm laughing
wake up, stand up
I get up and try over and over again
Sunday, July 09, 2006
sayonara wa ashita no tameni~*
Mood: RELAXED
Music: Daybreak HAL Mix 2002 by AYUMI HAMASAKI
*If there was just one,
And no more than onewish that could come true,
I wonder what I would wish for...
Where are you now?
Who are you with now?
I secretly ask these gifts
of the blue sky.
With you, so near at my side;
But now, you're no longer here...
With you, although we're apart,
That won't change, in spite of the promise I made.
Though we'll become memories,
It doesn't compare to the warmth of your side,
A painful breath suddenly overcame me,
To soar to a distant place to reach you.*
In the times to come,
I've already gone away,
I've finally come to realize
Just what it means.
For me, I'd lost my way,
You took my hand in yours.
For me, in a smile,
Your sad eyes were hidden.
Although we may become a farewell,I
'd whispered that I wanted to be by your side,
I can't voice my unforgiven memories,
But at least this prayer will reach you.
My unending memories are released into the sky,
Although I'm alone, I'll continue on...
It's like the day the sakura flowers danced about,
Reflecting the light of radiant memories,
In a painful sigh, bright with
all these feelings, soaring to reach you.
Although we may become memories,
It doesn't compare to the warmth of your side,
But because farewells are for tomorrow's sake,
they will soar to a distant place to to reach you.
SOTSUGYO~Sayonara wa Ashita no tame ni~
by Tackey and Tsubasa
ok. Maybe it doesn't tell much about what I'm feeling now, but it's such a good song!
One of Inuyasha's insert songs.
And it makes a good openin to an entry (does it???)
I'm relieved.
Because I finally said it all out.
Everything. How tortured the two of us probably were.
I might have been harsh but that's the only way for everything to end.
Serene: why did u suddenly say it?
Jas: Cos I'm the only one who can end it.
Although I felt really awful last night, I can't help but feel that finally I feel that my breathing space is back.
Goodbye is for the sake of tomorrow
This might have been a torture to him, but I said it cos I believe he'll have the strength to carry on alone.
Maybe last night was the last time I could ever talk to him but at least I'm not dragging anything on anymore.
Yeah. be firm.
haha. ok so now I'm feeling free, happy, cheery.
And I learnt one new thing.
Life lesson #7
A person's loneliness can never be compared to the loneliness 2 people feel when they're together.
ahhh. finally everything's over.
and I'm very positive that it's really an END.
Now listening to 'Sotsugyo~Sayonara wa ashita no tameni~'
When we walk on the road of life,
it's inevitable that we'll always hurt people around us.
To live, we'll hurt and be hurt.
That's the only way to grow up.
Leaving, parting, saying 'goodbye'
The part and parcel of life.
It might be hard,
but meeting is for the sake of parting,
and parting is for the sake of meeting again.
=)
Suddenly, the sky seems much spacious.
Now listening to 'I wanna go to a place...' (Gundam Seed Destiny ending song 3)
I learnt to cherish my life. (probably temporarily)
Sometimes you realize that actually, negative things are there to teach you to be strong.
I thought I was weak, but in the end the strong person was me.
Now listening to Beautiful Fighers by AYUMI.
oh yes another thing, Ayu got 4th for best female artiste with nice teeth.
LOL.
ok well, sometimes goodbyes are a good thing too
=)
Music: Daybreak HAL Mix 2002 by AYUMI HAMASAKI
*If there was just one,
And no more than onewish that could come true,
I wonder what I would wish for...
Where are you now?
Who are you with now?
I secretly ask these gifts
of the blue sky.
With you, so near at my side;
But now, you're no longer here...
With you, although we're apart,
That won't change, in spite of the promise I made.
Though we'll become memories,
It doesn't compare to the warmth of your side,
A painful breath suddenly overcame me,
To soar to a distant place to reach you.*
In the times to come,
I've already gone away,
I've finally come to realize
Just what it means.
For me, I'd lost my way,
You took my hand in yours.
For me, in a smile,
Your sad eyes were hidden.
Although we may become a farewell,I
'd whispered that I wanted to be by your side,
I can't voice my unforgiven memories,
But at least this prayer will reach you.
My unending memories are released into the sky,
Although I'm alone, I'll continue on...
It's like the day the sakura flowers danced about,
Reflecting the light of radiant memories,
In a painful sigh, bright with
all these feelings, soaring to reach you.
Although we may become memories,
It doesn't compare to the warmth of your side,
But because farewells are for tomorrow's sake,
they will soar to a distant place to to reach you.
SOTSUGYO~Sayonara wa Ashita no tame ni~
by Tackey and Tsubasa
ok. Maybe it doesn't tell much about what I'm feeling now, but it's such a good song!
One of Inuyasha's insert songs.
And it makes a good openin to an entry (does it???)
I'm relieved.
Because I finally said it all out.
Everything. How tortured the two of us probably were.
I might have been harsh but that's the only way for everything to end.
Serene: why did u suddenly say it?
Jas: Cos I'm the only one who can end it.
Although I felt really awful last night, I can't help but feel that finally I feel that my breathing space is back.
Goodbye is for the sake of tomorrow
This might have been a torture to him, but I said it cos I believe he'll have the strength to carry on alone.
Maybe last night was the last time I could ever talk to him but at least I'm not dragging anything on anymore.
Yeah. be firm.
haha. ok so now I'm feeling free, happy, cheery.
And I learnt one new thing.
Life lesson #7
A person's loneliness can never be compared to the loneliness 2 people feel when they're together.
ahhh. finally everything's over.
and I'm very positive that it's really an END.
Now listening to 'Sotsugyo~Sayonara wa ashita no tameni~'
When we walk on the road of life,
it's inevitable that we'll always hurt people around us.
To live, we'll hurt and be hurt.
That's the only way to grow up.
Leaving, parting, saying 'goodbye'
The part and parcel of life.
It might be hard,
but meeting is for the sake of parting,
and parting is for the sake of meeting again.
=)
Suddenly, the sky seems much spacious.
Now listening to 'I wanna go to a place...' (Gundam Seed Destiny ending song 3)
I learnt to cherish my life. (probably temporarily)
Sometimes you realize that actually, negative things are there to teach you to be strong.
I thought I was weak, but in the end the strong person was me.
Now listening to Beautiful Fighers by AYUMI.
oh yes another thing, Ayu got 4th for best female artiste with nice teeth.
LOL.
ok well, sometimes goodbyes are a good thing too
=)
Friday, July 07, 2006
Tell me about loneliness~*
Mood: Getting from bad to worse.
Music: Jewel Song by BoA
ok. Why must life be ALWAYS in the drain?
It's not just you, but I'm ALSO tired of complaining every single time I touch blogspot.
Seriously. Why can't life just become a little better?
I was at this fortune telling site and I tell you,
NOTHING HAS BEEN THIS ACCURATE BEFORE.
Serious. I was reading through it and I was genuinely shocked by how accurate everything is.
I'm thinking the person who wrote it might have known me.
http://www.superfate.com/22_free_8word/free8WordAns.php
The river flows continuously, hardly slowing down to water the ground, so you have a strong ability to think and plan, but less ability to take action. You have a lot of expectations in life and the ability to improve, but hardly take the necessary actions. You like gentle and kind persons, dislike hypocrites, and admire those who are mature, responsible, trustworthy and keep their words. In your entire life, regardless of the flow or direction, you are always able to keep an innocent, true heart to overcome all kinds of difficulties.
In romance, according to our analysis, men usually like you at first sight. If they win your heart, a romance develops quickly, but doesn't last long because it's difficult to maintain the same level of passion from beginning to end. Generally speaking, you make a good first impression because you are charming and capable, but over time your passion is replaced by arguments. You are often admired, but are not satisfied with what you have, and your romantic partner may be very sticky if you want to break up. Therefore, if you are still waiting for a good romance, try to conceal your outer beauty in order to find more sincere and suitable lovers who aren't just attracted to your looks. Then true romance will come your way.
According to the destiny analysis, you know how to make money, and also know how to save money, so it's not easy for you to be short of cash. You knew the importance of the money since you were very young, so you started with your investments earlier than others. Therefore, you were generating and accumulating more money and wealth through investment while others were spending money and enjoying their lives. In addition, you were born very clever, and will not spend money if not necessary, but you are very interested in investing business, and very keen to be your own boss with your own career. You will be saving majority portion of your wealth, to invest in the real-estate or to establish your own business. Afterwards, you will bequest most of your wealth to your husband and relatives.
ok enough about myself.
I'm not gonna go and keep blabbering on and on about how much my life sucks.
I'm really tired.
Anyway people, download YAHOO MESSENGER cos it ROCKS. haha.
The doodles, audibles etc. super nice, I tell you!
Nicer than MSN. haha.
But mayb I think so cos I CAN'T ACCESS TO MSN.
Sister's coming back tml midnight.
*groans*
No more computer. no more TV. nothing.
ok another thing.
I feel messed up.
I'm probably the most evil person living on earth, to make a person feel so miserable.
He just doesn't understand, does he?
All the hints, all the very obvious things I'm doing.
I want it all to end.
Yes END.
I don't want to make you feel worse than you already are.
It's impossible. Us.
I'm going to tell you.
Yes I'm gonna end it once and for all.
Next week:
Class outing to watch Pirates of the Carribean.
Video recording for Grad Nite video of class 4o8
I think Yeeyan's right.
Everything's falling apart.
Shinkai no Kodoku (Deep sea's loneliness) (Sang by STELLAR from GUNDAM SEED DESTINY)
"If you close your eyes, you won't gaze into sadness."
"If you forget the feeling of warmth, you won't feel pain"
I can't recall that gentle voice
In the depths of my mourning heart.
Someone is calling me from my forgotten past,
Asking me when I will take sorrow into my hands again.
At this moment that will never come twice,
You are all I can see.
A little ship glitters silently in the distant, alone.
Swept away by a torrent of grief, it disappears under the waves of my heart.
Why do I search the ocean depths aimlessly,
For the warmth that I should not have known.
Swaying with the ripples, the ship of life sails on.
Though no stars can be seen, it overcomes waves and advances on.
Beyond the darkness,
You are all I can see.
The waves that we saw are flowing towards serenity,
Flowing to the kindness that disappeared underwater.
I know that there's a future where we will love each other.
Until I take the sorrow back into my hands again,
At this moment that will never come twice,
You are all I can see.
Music: Jewel Song by BoA
ok. Why must life be ALWAYS in the drain?
It's not just you, but I'm ALSO tired of complaining every single time I touch blogspot.
Seriously. Why can't life just become a little better?
I was at this fortune telling site and I tell you,
NOTHING HAS BEEN THIS ACCURATE BEFORE.
Serious. I was reading through it and I was genuinely shocked by how accurate everything is.
I'm thinking the person who wrote it might have known me.
http://www.superfate.com/22_free_8word/free8WordAns.php
The river flows continuously, hardly slowing down to water the ground, so you have a strong ability to think and plan, but less ability to take action. You have a lot of expectations in life and the ability to improve, but hardly take the necessary actions. You like gentle and kind persons, dislike hypocrites, and admire those who are mature, responsible, trustworthy and keep their words. In your entire life, regardless of the flow or direction, you are always able to keep an innocent, true heart to overcome all kinds of difficulties.
In romance, according to our analysis, men usually like you at first sight. If they win your heart, a romance develops quickly, but doesn't last long because it's difficult to maintain the same level of passion from beginning to end. Generally speaking, you make a good first impression because you are charming and capable, but over time your passion is replaced by arguments. You are often admired, but are not satisfied with what you have, and your romantic partner may be very sticky if you want to break up. Therefore, if you are still waiting for a good romance, try to conceal your outer beauty in order to find more sincere and suitable lovers who aren't just attracted to your looks. Then true romance will come your way.
According to the destiny analysis, you know how to make money, and also know how to save money, so it's not easy for you to be short of cash. You knew the importance of the money since you were very young, so you started with your investments earlier than others. Therefore, you were generating and accumulating more money and wealth through investment while others were spending money and enjoying their lives. In addition, you were born very clever, and will not spend money if not necessary, but you are very interested in investing business, and very keen to be your own boss with your own career. You will be saving majority portion of your wealth, to invest in the real-estate or to establish your own business. Afterwards, you will bequest most of your wealth to your husband and relatives.
ok enough about myself.
I'm not gonna go and keep blabbering on and on about how much my life sucks.
I'm really tired.
Anyway people, download YAHOO MESSENGER cos it ROCKS. haha.
The doodles, audibles etc. super nice, I tell you!
Nicer than MSN. haha.
But mayb I think so cos I CAN'T ACCESS TO MSN.
Sister's coming back tml midnight.
*groans*
No more computer. no more TV. nothing.
ok another thing.
I feel messed up.
I'm probably the most evil person living on earth, to make a person feel so miserable.
He just doesn't understand, does he?
All the hints, all the very obvious things I'm doing.
I want it all to end.
Yes END.
I don't want to make you feel worse than you already are.
It's impossible. Us.
I'm going to tell you.
Yes I'm gonna end it once and for all.
Next week:
Class outing to watch Pirates of the Carribean.
Video recording for Grad Nite video of class 4o8
I think Yeeyan's right.
Everything's falling apart.
Shinkai no Kodoku (Deep sea's loneliness) (Sang by STELLAR from GUNDAM SEED DESTINY)
"If you close your eyes, you won't gaze into sadness."
"If you forget the feeling of warmth, you won't feel pain"
I can't recall that gentle voice
In the depths of my mourning heart.
Someone is calling me from my forgotten past,
Asking me when I will take sorrow into my hands again.
At this moment that will never come twice,
You are all I can see.
A little ship glitters silently in the distant, alone.
Swept away by a torrent of grief, it disappears under the waves of my heart.
Why do I search the ocean depths aimlessly,
For the warmth that I should not have known.
Swaying with the ripples, the ship of life sails on.
Though no stars can be seen, it overcomes waves and advances on.
Beyond the darkness,
You are all I can see.
The waves that we saw are flowing towards serenity,
Flowing to the kindness that disappeared underwater.
I know that there's a future where we will love each other.
Until I take the sorrow back into my hands again,
At this moment that will never come twice,
You are all I can see.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Life is shit~*
Mood: like shit
Music: Kizuna by Kamenashi Kazuya (kame or tortoise, named by serene)
Damn.
This song never fail to make me sad and thoughtful all at once.
The melody and the way he sings it just makes me feel sadder every passing second.
Was listening to 'Ever Free' and 'Girlish' by Ayu.
Those 2 are the LEAST LISTENED songs of hers
I'm not sure but Ever Free always make me feel lost. It sounds lost anyway.
Ok now Daite Senorita (by Yamapi) is playing on the com.
Alright. Let's talk about WHY I feel my mood's in the toilet.
Firstly, I'm really depressed about the bloody 4o8 noticeboard.
Ok. I know it's not nice looking but well, if anyone finds it extremely revolting, then DO something about it!
Why bother complaining and throwing us disgusted glances?
If it's really THAT awful, I don't mind tearing it all up.
URGH.
Forget it. I'm so so so freaking pissed.
Secondly, I'm really frustrated with myself.
Like I feel like tearing myself up into pieces.
I wish to change myself.
Because I suck so damn much.
Serious. Even the wind's laughing at me.
I can hear it. Every bloody thing's laughing at me.
I feel like SHIT.
Damn.
Thirdly, I think I'm sick.
Physically, that is.
I feel warm no matter where I am.
Emitting heat, radiating heat.
And it just makes me feel even more frustrated.
I wish to disappear from this world.
Fall into eternal sleep.
*tries to cool down*
Gosh. I seriously hate myself.
Happiness is the most beautiful thing before you have it. Because once you have it, you're afraid to lose it. And soon, you view it as any normal thing.
That's so true.
Human beings never know their limits.
Never know how to be satisfied.
A pretty girl might still yearn for even more perfect looks, not knowing how to cherish hers.
A rich man still wants much much more money, unaware of how lucky he is.
It's like this.
Everyone of us.
Sometimes I'll glance outside the window or just watch people rushing past me in trains or buses.
I'll wonder. What's the rush?
What are we rushing for?
Where are we truly heading?
Where did we come from?
Haix. Why. Why is it that I'm always thinking about redundant things?
And end up making myself feel worse than I already am.
Life is shit.
Music: Kizuna by Kamenashi Kazuya (kame or tortoise, named by serene)
Damn.
This song never fail to make me sad and thoughtful all at once.
The melody and the way he sings it just makes me feel sadder every passing second.
Was listening to 'Ever Free' and 'Girlish' by Ayu.
Those 2 are the LEAST LISTENED songs of hers
I'm not sure but Ever Free always make me feel lost. It sounds lost anyway.
Ok now Daite Senorita (by Yamapi) is playing on the com.
Alright. Let's talk about WHY I feel my mood's in the toilet.
Firstly, I'm really depressed about the bloody 4o8 noticeboard.
Ok. I know it's not nice looking but well, if anyone finds it extremely revolting, then DO something about it!
Why bother complaining and throwing us disgusted glances?
If it's really THAT awful, I don't mind tearing it all up.
URGH.
Forget it. I'm so so so freaking pissed.
Secondly, I'm really frustrated with myself.
Like I feel like tearing myself up into pieces.
I wish to change myself.
Because I suck so damn much.
Serious. Even the wind's laughing at me.
I can hear it. Every bloody thing's laughing at me.
I feel like SHIT.
Damn.
Thirdly, I think I'm sick.
Physically, that is.
I feel warm no matter where I am.
Emitting heat, radiating heat.
And it just makes me feel even more frustrated.
I wish to disappear from this world.
Fall into eternal sleep.
*tries to cool down*
Gosh. I seriously hate myself.
Happiness is the most beautiful thing before you have it. Because once you have it, you're afraid to lose it. And soon, you view it as any normal thing.
That's so true.
Human beings never know their limits.
Never know how to be satisfied.
A pretty girl might still yearn for even more perfect looks, not knowing how to cherish hers.
A rich man still wants much much more money, unaware of how lucky he is.
It's like this.
Everyone of us.
Sometimes I'll glance outside the window or just watch people rushing past me in trains or buses.
I'll wonder. What's the rush?
What are we rushing for?
Where are we truly heading?
Where did we come from?
Haix. Why. Why is it that I'm always thinking about redundant things?
And end up making myself feel worse than I already am.
Life is shit.
Living in a world of lies~*
Mood: relaxed. very very relaxed.
Music: Minami Kaze (FMP 2nd raid theme song)
*heave a huge sigh of relief*
Finally, the most dreaded Chemistry test's over.
Well, I don't care how badly I performed but it's over!
I nearly died last night, studying all the Metals, Ammonia, Sulphuric Acid and Electrolysis.
Seriously, how can you study within just a few hours?
Well, don't get me wrong. I'm still very VERY pissed off.
4o8 ppl will know what I mean.
ok let's put the bad things aside.
Good news:
1. My sister's not home till Saturday! Woohoo~! I have the computer to myself for the next 3 days. Don't ask me why, but I'm not missing her at all. haha. It feels great to be able to use the com without having a person nagging at you every 5 minutes. Yes. Freedom! *punches fist into air*
2. Friday's gonna be a GREAT day. Cos school's ending at 10.30am! HAHA. People! 10.30!!! I was so happy today, I nearly forgot how badly I did for chem. Nearly.
3. Ayu's 'Blue Bird' is doing great! I mean GREAT!
She got 2nd for United World Chart! Right after Shakira! And she's the only Asian up there. =)
And topped the USEN chart! Yes! even Hikki's at number 15 ok. haha. (note: hikki=utada hikaru)
Four of her songs went up to Top 111 Summer Selections Music Station! (namely, Greatful days, Blue Bird, SEASONS and Fairyland) haha. my sister and I voted for Blue Bird and it went in. =)
Cos it was a Japanese site, we had to type 'Buru Bardo' LOL.
4. Yamapi and BoA were on the chart too. Boa's Shine we are went in and Yamapi's Daite Senorita went in too. =)
5. And oh yes. My sister's bday. It was 2 days ago. haha. and she had a really cute mocha-flavoured cake. I shall post pics later on. There's a chocolate cup on top of the cake. haha. Really cute. And best of all, it's not VERY sweet. Just right. and my sister loves bitter stuff so she really loved it. =)
6. MILO PENG went in! Yes! Yes! Yes!
hmm.. that's about all the happy things.
Pretty sad eh, my life.
But yesterday was really really horrible.
Serene, Yeeyan and I were on the verge of dying.
We came up with 7897542185 ways of dying. haha.
Even thought of stuffing our heads into fans.
And rubbing rust on our wounds.
And asking people to stab and strangle us.
We felt so much like dying.
And screaming into toilet bowls and flushing them.
Frustrated. Angst. Pissed.
Oh well, but that was yesterday.
I really thought I was going to die.
All thanks to a Chemistry test.
Today was not really any better.
but at least now Chem test is over.
OVER.
Life lesson #6 (lost count. haha)
You have to wake up with a good mood, or else the entire day will suck like shit.
Seriously. If you wake up tired, energy-less, the whole day just won't go your way. Everything will seem to go against you. That's life. Against you.
I was telling myself yesterday that miseries are also a part of life.
So why don't I just live with it?
Guess it's something no one can really do.
Pretend not to see. Not to feel. Not to hear. Isn't that what everyone's doing? Bluffing through everything, everyday.
Everyone of us is pretending.
Some pretend to love, some pretend to smile, while others pretend to be popular, rich, smart.
Deep down, everything's a direct opposite.
We want to be a different person. that's why we have to lie.
Deep down we know we're awful.
That's why we have to pretend we're someone else.
To escape. To continue living in lies.
It's fine.
Totally fine.
Cos if one fateful day, when everyone stops pretending, perhaps, the world will lose all its colours.
I want to live in a world of lies. At least I don't have to face reality.
Music: Minami Kaze (FMP 2nd raid theme song)
*heave a huge sigh of relief*
Finally, the most dreaded Chemistry test's over.
Well, I don't care how badly I performed but it's over!
I nearly died last night, studying all the Metals, Ammonia, Sulphuric Acid and Electrolysis.
Seriously, how can you study within just a few hours?
Well, don't get me wrong. I'm still very VERY pissed off.
4o8 ppl will know what I mean.
ok let's put the bad things aside.
Good news:
1. My sister's not home till Saturday! Woohoo~! I have the computer to myself for the next 3 days. Don't ask me why, but I'm not missing her at all. haha. It feels great to be able to use the com without having a person nagging at you every 5 minutes. Yes. Freedom! *punches fist into air*
2. Friday's gonna be a GREAT day. Cos school's ending at 10.30am! HAHA. People! 10.30!!! I was so happy today, I nearly forgot how badly I did for chem. Nearly.
3. Ayu's 'Blue Bird' is doing great! I mean GREAT!
She got 2nd for United World Chart! Right after Shakira! And she's the only Asian up there. =)
And topped the USEN chart! Yes! even Hikki's at number 15 ok. haha. (note: hikki=utada hikaru)
Four of her songs went up to Top 111 Summer Selections Music Station! (namely, Greatful days, Blue Bird, SEASONS and Fairyland) haha. my sister and I voted for Blue Bird and it went in. =)
Cos it was a Japanese site, we had to type 'Buru Bardo' LOL.
4. Yamapi and BoA were on the chart too. Boa's Shine we are went in and Yamapi's Daite Senorita went in too. =)
5. And oh yes. My sister's bday. It was 2 days ago. haha. and she had a really cute mocha-flavoured cake. I shall post pics later on. There's a chocolate cup on top of the cake. haha. Really cute. And best of all, it's not VERY sweet. Just right. and my sister loves bitter stuff so she really loved it. =)
6. MILO PENG went in! Yes! Yes! Yes!
hmm.. that's about all the happy things.
Pretty sad eh, my life.
But yesterday was really really horrible.
Serene, Yeeyan and I were on the verge of dying.
We came up with 7897542185 ways of dying. haha.
Even thought of stuffing our heads into fans.
And rubbing rust on our wounds.
And asking people to stab and strangle us.
We felt so much like dying.
And screaming into toilet bowls and flushing them.
Frustrated. Angst. Pissed.
Oh well, but that was yesterday.
I really thought I was going to die.
All thanks to a Chemistry test.
Today was not really any better.
but at least now Chem test is over.
OVER.
Life lesson #6 (lost count. haha)
You have to wake up with a good mood, or else the entire day will suck like shit.
Seriously. If you wake up tired, energy-less, the whole day just won't go your way. Everything will seem to go against you. That's life. Against you.
I was telling myself yesterday that miseries are also a part of life.
So why don't I just live with it?
Guess it's something no one can really do.
Pretend not to see. Not to feel. Not to hear. Isn't that what everyone's doing? Bluffing through everything, everyday.
Everyone of us is pretending.
Some pretend to love, some pretend to smile, while others pretend to be popular, rich, smart.
Deep down, everything's a direct opposite.
We want to be a different person. that's why we have to lie.
Deep down we know we're awful.
That's why we have to pretend we're someone else.
To escape. To continue living in lies.
It's fine.
Totally fine.
Cos if one fateful day, when everyone stops pretending, perhaps, the world will lose all its colours.
I want to live in a world of lies. At least I don't have to face reality.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
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