Margo Berendsen's Current Query Critiqued

Okay, here we go again. You all followed Margo's blog yesterday, I'm sure, so let's just get right to work. Today we have her query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.

The letter:

Seventeen(-)year(-)old Camria and her twin sister Liz were the first children ever conceived and born on the International Space Station. Hmm. This is pretty good. Not only does it set the scene and build the world quite succinctly, but it carries with it tons of backstory, without having to labor over it. Cam just wants to be a normal high school junior and skip all the attention that goes with being a highly publicized “space twin.” But when she’s blinded in a freak explosion, and Liz disappears, she’ll do anything to get her sister and her sight back. Technically this whole sentence is a clause dependent on the previous sentence. I realize you're doing that on purpose, but I'm not sure a query letter is the best place to play with grammar rules. We'll see what my readers think.

All in all, this open is pretty great. As always, I would like to have a little more characterization for Cam, you know - what her personality is like before her story begins, but this opening is pretty strong without it.

Cam suspects there’s something more to Lander, a new transfer student, than his odd accent and his interest in her. The sequence of this sentence reads a little awkwardly to me. Maybe start with Lander, his accent, his interest, and then finish with Cam's suspicions? Turns out he’s from a planet not yet discovered by Earth, and he knows why Liz disappeared. A high-tech alien faction So Lander is not human? It seems to me he must not be, but you could probably make that clearer. is bent on taking over minds of unsuspecting humans, and they've started with Cam’s sister.

Okay, as substance goes, this is good. We've got clear conflict, high stakes, and a character that could be either a romantic interest or an antagonist, and that's all pretty good, but the execution here feels off. For one, the voice feels a little dry, and for another one piece of information doesn't feel like it leads logically into the next. I hope that makes sense. I realize that in a query letter, you don't have room to always link everything together smoothly, but I think you should think about the order in which you present things, and make sure you're giving your reader enough.

When Lander offers to take Cam to find Liz, and to restore her sight with his advanced technology, Cam accepts, but whoa. She didn't count on traveling through wormholes, fighting off mind control, and facing her own growing attraction to Lander. After Lander appears to turn traitor, How? Cam must decide to cut a deal to save her sister and herself, or risk their lives to keep the enemy faction from stealing more minds from Earth.

This is pretty good, too. You've certainly got a decently sadistic choice here, and it leads to clear consequences on either side. My one gripe is for you to get specific about Lander's turncoating. Always try to be as specific as possible in a query letter. Vagueness only makes your story look like so many others. That said, if it's super complicated what happens in the story, it can be difficult to fit it in a query letter. You have to use your best judgement about what to share and what to hold back.

I also think one more thing you need to make clear is whether Cam gets her sight back. If Lander ditches her, and she goes through the whole book blind, that would be one kind of story, but if she lets him restore her vision first, that is really a completely different book, you know?

STARTRIPPED This title seems weird. Could you maybe hyphenate it: STAR-TRIPPED? is an 85K word science fiction for young adults YA Science Fiction (or just Sci-Fi) that should appeal to fans of the Across the Universe and I Am Number Four series. Thank you for your time and consideration.

In summary, this query letter is really pretty good. You've got Conflict and Choice down pat, and you've got a decent start to Character, since you open with your protagonist in a situation which sort of automatically characterizes her for us a bit, but you could use a little more.

Then, I think it's just a matter of rearranging a few things, and spicing up the voice a little. You've got one "whoa" in the final paragraph, and that was the first time this query felt like it was written by, about, or for a young adult. One exercise that can help with voice, I find, is to write the query from the first person point of view of your protagonist, and then edit it back into third person.

That's it.

What do you all think? This query is pretty close, isn't it?

P.S. Today is also my day to post over at Project Middle Grade Mayhem, and I've written a bit about why my family's vacation next week means so much to me.

Margo Berendsen's Current Query

One last query before we get to A to Z. Does anyone know Margo? She blogs at Delusions at High Altitude, so please visit her blog and become a follower.

Now, her letter:

Seventeen year old Camria and her twin sister Liz were the first children ever conceived and born on the International Space Station. Cam just wants to be a normal high school junior and skip all the attention that goes with being a highly publicized “space twin.” But when she’s blinded in a freak explosion, and Liz disappears, she’ll do anything to get her sister and her sight back.

Cam suspects there’s something more to Lander, a new transfer student, than his odd accent and his interest in her. Turns out he’s from a planet not yet discovered by Earth, and he knows why Liz disappeared. A high-tech alien faction is bent on taking over minds of unsuspecting humans, and they've started with Cam’s sister.

When Lander offers to take Cam to find Liz, and to restore her sight with his advanced technology, Cam accepts, but whoa. She didn't count on traveling through wormholes, fighting off mind control, and facing her own growing attraction to Lander. After Lander appears to turn traitor, Cam must decide to cut a deal to save her sister and herself, or risk their lives to keep the enemy faction from stealing more minds from Earth.

STARTRIPPED is an 85K science fiction for young adults that should appeal to fans of the Across the Universe and I Am Number Four series. Thank you for your time and consideration.

That's it!

Please thank Margo for sharing in the comments, and then save your feedback for tomorrow.

A to Z Challenge Assistants

We're almost there! Just a few more days. Sadly, as I mentioned yesterday, I'll be out of town for almost the whole first week of the challenge.

But never fear! I've got my trusty assistants here to help you.

As a co-host of the challenge, there is a certain section of the list that I'm responsible for (if you're in my section, you'll be getting an email from me today), and so you can always contact me with any questions or concerns you have, and even while I'm out of town, I will be able to check email in the evenings.

But, if you have any really pressing questions, please don't hesitate to ask one of my five assistants. In case you don't know them, please be sure to visit their blogs, follow them, and leave a comment, so they know who you are:

Joshua, from Vive Le Nerd. Josh is the only of my assistants I've met in real life. A gamer, a writer, a dad, and a freelance copyeditor, Josh runs one of the coolest blogs on the web.

Sheri Larsen, from Writer's Ally. Sheri is the blogger I've known the longest of my assistants. We started blogging around the same time, and both really love being a part of the online writing community.

Deniz Bevan, from The Girdle of Melian. Seriously? Have you ever heard of a cooler title for a blog? Deniz is one of the few bloggers who can claim to be a bigger and more knowledgeable Tolkien fan than me, which, trust me, is very rare.

Jay Noel, whose blog is self titled, is an awesome writer. Last year, his A to Z theme was steampunk technology and it was definitely was one the coolest stops in the challenge.

Melanie Schulz, from Melanie Schulz YA Writer. Melanie is the newest blogger of this group, at least as far as my acquaintance with her, but she's just as great as the rest of them. She didn't hesitate to volunteer when I asked for assistance with the challenge.

So please visit all their blogs today, and make sure you're following them. Some of them may be revealing their themes, but if not, you can at least make sure you know how to find them if you need help during the challenge.

As for me, I'm going with etymologies again this year, since it makes for great, informative, and most importantly, short posts. I look forward to seeing all of you!

Gearing Up For A to Z

Wow. I can't believe A to Z is almost here. Worse, I can't believe I'm going to be out of town for the first week.

Don't worry, I'll still be participating, and I have my first week of posts written and scheduled, but I just wish I'd be more available to visit blogs. I'll be visiting some, and as a co-host, I'm obligated to support a certain section of the list, but I still wish I could do more, because to me the spirit of A to Z isn't so much about my blog, or my posts, or my readers, but about being a blog reader and discovering new blogs.

Anyway, I'm just curious to hear how many of you are participating, and if you are, do you have a theme picked out, and do you have any of your posts written yet? It's a lot of work, which is why we call it a challenge, of course, but it can be a lot of fun too.

A Review at YA Confidential

Man, this is going to be one of those weeks. The day job is out of control, A to Z starts next week, and of course my family made plans to go out of town for Spring Break.

Yes, I'm nuts.

Anyway, for now, I've got a book review up over at YA Confidential. So please stop by!

We Are All the Same

I know everyone loves that Thrift Shop song, and I'm not gonna hate, because that beat makes for quite the jam, but I'm here to school y'all to the fact that Macklemore also spits conscious rhymes:



And I would also like to officially announce that I am an ally of all human beings. Happy Friday, have a great weekend, friends!

P.S. I recently had my third blogiversary, AND my 700th post, but I was too busy to announce them. Oh well.

Co-Hosting the A to Z April Challenge

No, I'm not blogging about what it's like to co-host, sorry. I'm just pointing you to my post at the A to Z Challenge blog, where you can get to know me a little better. That's all!

Delerium by Susan Kaye Quinn: Launch Announcement

Technically, the debut of Susan Kaye Quinn's new Science Fiction/Future Noir series doesn't launch until tomorrow, but the links are live, and as one of Susan's critique partners, I've had the pleasure of reading the first three episodes in this serialized tale. I could go on for a while about it, but I'll just let the book speak for itself.

The Debt Collector by Susan Kaye Quinn

From the author of the bestselling Mindjack series comes a new future-noir serial, The Debt Collector. The first episode, Delirium, launches tomorrow (3/20).

What’s your life worth on the open market?

A debt collector can tell you precisely.

Lirium plays the part of the grim reaper well, with his dark trenchcoat, jackboots, and the black marks on his soul that every debt collector carries. He’s just in it for his cut, the ten percent of the life energy he collects before he transfers it on to the high potentials, the people who will make the world a better place with their brains, their work, and their lives. That hit of life energy, a bottle of vodka, and a visit from one of Madam Anastazja’s sex workers keep him alive, stable, and mostly sane… until he collects again. But when his recovery ritual is disrupted by a sex worker who isn’t what she seems, he has to choose between doing an illegal hit for a girl whose story has more holes than his soul or facing the bottle alone—a dark pit he’s not sure he’ll be able to climb out of again.

Contains mature content and themes. For YA-appropriate thrills, see Susan’s Mindjack series.

Delirium is approximately 12,000 words or 48 pages, and is one of nine episodes in the first season of The Debt Collector serial. This dark and gritty future-noir is about a world where your life-worth is tabulated on the open market and going into debt risks a lot more than your credit rating. You can find out more about the series at the Debt Collector website and facebook page. The Debt Collector newsletter is a special list just for episode releases. 

Early Praise for Delirium

 “The street-smart science of LOOPER meets the cold, just-the-facts voice of DOUBLE INDEMNITY in this edgy, future-noir thriller that will have you holding your breath, looking over your shoulder, and begging for more.” —Leigh Talbert Moore, author of The Truth About Faking, The Truth About Letting Go, and Rouge

“Do you owe more than your life is worth? No worries. A more deserving person than you can benefit from that excess life—and someone else will get paid with it. Enter the Debt Collector.” —Dianne Salerni, author of We Hear the Dead, The Caged Graves, and The Eighth Day (HarperCollins 2014)

The first three episodes of Debt Collector will be released a week apart, starting Wednesday 3/20. The remaining episodes will release every two weeks. Delirium can be found on: Amazon, Barnes&Noble, iTunes, Kobo. Or add it to your TBR on Goodreads.

Susan Kaye Quinn is the author of the bestselling YA SF Mindjack series. Debt Collector is her more grown-up SF. Her steampunk fantasy romance is temporarily on hold while she madly writes episodes to keep Lirium happy. Plus she needs to leave time to play on Facebook. Susan has a lot of degrees in engineering, which come in handy when dreaming up dangerous mind powers, future dystopias, and slightly plausible steampunk inventions. Mostly she sits around in her pajamas in awe that she gets make stuff up full-time.

Storytelling

I've been beating myself up for the last couple weeks. After I finished my revisions on Running from Ruby Ridge, I spent the normal amount of time enjoying the fact that I finished a freaking novel (how long is normal again?) and then I ... stagnated.

I'd had the idea for my next book in my head for a while, but I'm the kind of writer who can only focus on one thing at a time. I know some people who work on more than one project at once, but to me, that's nuts. So anyway, while I was drafting Ruby Ridge, I could not really think about Book the Next. I mean, I did think about it, of course, but I didn't really think about it, you know what I mean?

So now I spent the last two or three weeks diddling around. I wrote some character sheets (I've never messed with that before). I wrote an outline (a really bad, really thin one). I researched the bit of real life that inspired the story. But ... it wasn't until last night that I finally realized it was okay what I was going through.

Sometimes a story needs time to solidify in your mind. I wasn't to that point yet. I think I might be now.

How do you know when you're at the point? I'm not sure, and I'm not sure it's the same for everyone, but for me, it's when scenes are coming to you while you're driving. When the story is invading your dreams. When lines of dialog spring into your mind while you're in the shower. When you have to have a notebook, or at least your phone, with you at all times because you never know when you'll be struck with inspiration.

Yeah, I'm there.

When do you know you're ready?

Summer Ross' Current Query Critiqued

Okay. Man, it's been a while since I've done one of these. I feel rusty. Please forgive me if this sucks, Summer! Anyway, today we have Summer's query again, this time with my feedback, in blue.

The letter:

Dear Agent,

A steak knife, an old ring, and a crime punishable by death all have one woman in common(--)Ebony Graves. Okay, two nitpicks right away: I would much prefer a colon to an em-dash. Em-dashes are great in manuscripts which are designed to have full support for advanced formatting, but I advise people to stay away from them in queries. If you must have them, use a double hyphen--also, and this is probably just me and my fantasy nerd card, but Ebony Graves sounds a lot like Ebony Greaves. I take it that's your character's name? At twenty-two years old, she lives in a patriarchal society that hangs women accused of crimes? first, and asks questions later. No one cares that she was trying to escape a vicious beating by her own father.

Okay. So even though this is somewhat reversed from your normal query letter's presentation (this is: inciting incident first, then a bit of world, then a bit of character) it mostly works for me. Maybe because it's a really compelling situation. I still need more about Ebony though. We know she's relatively young, we know she suffers under the thumb of a cruel and abusive father, but we don't know much about who she is.

With no other options available, Ebony requests sanctuary from the only powerful woman in town, Lady Charmaine. Her benefactor demands she become the next Jade courtesan if this whole thing is a proper title, I think both words might need to be capitalized. by competing in three challenges to save herself. In doing so, it awakens a rune magic from inside that Ebony didn’t know she had, as well as a desire for Kaige, the handsome stranger lurking throughout the manor.

This whole paragraph is pretty good. It's very specific, which is perfect. It sets the tone of a world that is clearly not our own, and it hints at a society that does not share our customs. I wonder if you might consider another precious stone, though. Jade will always sounds Asian to me.

Otherwise, the rising stakes here are good, and you are building toward a strong but succinct representation of your story.

Pitted against contestants who plot her downfall and a new magic power that threatens her body and soul, Ebony must decide if she can follow through with Lady Charmaine's demands or if her price of freedom lies in death.

And now you lose a lot of what you built in the last paragraph. Where that one is specific, this one is vague. You have to be careful, obviously, because you don't have a lot of room, and you certainly don't need to explain everything, but I do think you've got room enough to get a bit more specific here. What are the three tasks? Or at the very least, what is the first one? Who are the other contestants? Or at the least, who is the worst of them (you don't necessarily have to name the character)?

I am submitting BLOODSTONE for your consideration. It is a romantic fantasy novel. It stands complete at approximately 52,660 53,000 words and is set up for a series has series potential.

I'm very concerned about this. First of all, Fantasy novels are almost never this short. With the world building required, telling a story in a fantasy world almost always takes longer than this. If you check the submission guidelines of most Fantasy imprints (or at least those that accept unagented submissions, like Pyr, you'll see they don't even accept manuscripts under 85,000 words in length). 

Don't let that discourage you though. You could call this a novella. Or you could make Ebony younger and call it Young Adult Fantasy. All I'm saying is you need to know your market, and make your query show that you do.

My published works have been accepted by everydaypoets.com, fiction365.com, Pill Hill Press, and my local college’s Expression Magazine. I recently graduated with my BA in English from the University of Wyoming.

Thank you for your time,

Summer Ross

In summary, except for the very beginning and the very end, this query is actually quite good. You need to lead with more sense of character, and you need to close with more specifics, but otherwise you're in pretty good shape.

The word count thing isn't really meat-of-the-query type stuff, so I won't harp on it any more, but I do think you should consider changing your character's name (and maybe age). In a Fantasy novel, Ebony Graves just sounds a little too cliche for me.

That's it.

What do you all think?

Summer Ross' Current Query

Okay, finally getting back to business, here is Summer's current query.

The letter:

Dear Agent,

A steak knife, an old ring, and a crime punishable by death all have one woman in common- Ebony Graves. At twenty-two years old, she lives in a patriarchal society that hangs women first, asks questions later. No one cares that she was trying to escape a vicious beating by her own father.

With no other options available, Ebony requests sanctuary from the only powerful woman in town, Lady Charmaine. Her benefactor demands she become the next Jade courtesan by competing in three challenges to save herself. In doing so, it awakens a rune magic from inside that Ebony didn’t know she had, as well as a desire for Kaige, the handsome stranger lurking throughout the manor.

Pitted against contestants who plot her downfall and a new magic power that threatens her body and soul, Ebony must decide if she can follow through with Lady Charmaine's demands or if her price of freedom lies in death.

I am submitting BLOODSTONE for your consideration. It is a romantic fantasy novel. It stands complete at approximately 52,660 words and is set up for a series.

My published works have been accepted by everydaypoets.com, fiction365.com, Pill Hill Press, and my local college’s Expression Magazine. I recently graduated with my BA in English from the University of Wyoming.

Thank you for your time,

Summer Ross

That's it.

Please save your feedback for tomorrow, and thank Summer for sharing in the comments.

Beasts of the Southern Wild

I watched Beasts of the Southern Wild last night. It was a fabulous, but disturbing film. To think that modern day human beings can live in such abject poverty boggles the mind a bit. I can see why the movie missed the best picture bid at the Oscars, though. It was a wonderful example of the art of film making, with some incredible cinematography, and hands down the greatest performance by a child actor I have ever seen in Quvenzhané Wallis' portrayal of Hush Puppie, but the plot was confusing, and the thematic representation of the aurochs did not work for me.

An aurochs is an extinct kind of ox from the middle ages (made somewhat famous by George Martin), not some kind of gigantic prehistoric wild boar. I realize that part was fantasy, and I'm not sure why it bothered me so much, but maybe my nerd flag was flying too high.

Anyway, in spite of a couple minor nitpicks that I only bring up because I can see why it missed best picture, it's otherwise a fabulous, moving film.

Has anyone seen it?

So ... Catholocism

Links to the Rocky Mountain Telegram

As I enter what is most likely the second half of my life, and the Catholic Church congregates to elect its next leader, I find myself wondering about change.

I was raised Catholic. Well, kind of. May parents weren't Catholics, but they sent us to Catholic School. Weird, I know, but whatever. I went to Saint Anne's School, on Queen Anne Hill, just above downtown Seattle, through the fifth grade. I can't remember now which is which, but I went through first communion, or confirmation, or possibly both (I'd have to look it up to recall for sure).

Anyway, the point is, I find myself wondering how much we can really change. Both we as people, and we as institutions. Personally, I know from experience that a person can change drastically over a lifetime. I've done so myself, but when it comes to institutions, I wonder.

Don't get me wrong, I think the Catholic Church does some wonderful things. But they do some pretty terrible things as well. I recently saw a horrifying documentary about the rampant sexual abuse within the church, called Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God, (which in Latin would mean, My Greatest Fault or Mistake) and it was of course sad to see the damage one sick person in a position of power can inflict on so many young people under his authority, but it was absolutely infuriating to be so exposed to the level of corruption that has for so long covered these crimes up and protected the interests of the church at the expense of the innocent.

Don't worry, this isn't that kind of post. If it was, we'd be here all day, but I did just want to say something about change, and I for one, as a recovering Catholic, hope the church can make a decision in the coming days that will be a change for the better. Maybe elect a young Pope? Or an African or Latin American one?

Please, whatever you must do, Cardinals, not another stuffy old white European.

MG Fantasy Interview at Project Mayhem

Today is my day over at Project Mayhem. So please go read the interview I had with my daughter about one of her favorite new releases: My Epic Fairy Tale Fail, by Anna Staniszewski.

Torment, Kickstarter, and the Brave New World of Crowdfunding

At the risk of alienating a few of you, I'm going to post about something different today. I know it's usually books, writing, publishing, and screaming goat remixes of Taylor Swift songs around here, but today I want to tell you about something that's a pretty big deal.

This is one of those things where the voice of one silly old man is of little consequence, but still:

First, watch this video, in which Amanda Palmer illustrates what the spirit of crowdfunding is far better than I ever could (pointed to me by Shaun Hutchinson):



See what I mean? The world is changing, Hobbits, and it's changing for the better. The days of venture capitalists, distributors, and publishers (this term means something slightly different in the software industry, but whatever) telling us all what we want are over. Or at least they're soon to be. It's time for power to the people. Time for consumers (think fans, it's such a nicer word) to tell the people who make awesome stuff (as authors, this can be us sometime very soon, dear readers), what they want, when they want it, and how much they want to pay for it.

I'm sure I don't have to explain how amazing this is to all of you, but think of it this way: when you want a green pepper, because you're cooking fajitas or whatever, what do you do? You hop in your gas guzzling vehicle, your tires scour the highway all the way to the local grocer, and you buy a vegetable that laid down such a fat carbon footprint to even get to your state in the first place, at least three fourths of the price you're paying is overhead, before you even begin to consider the social and environmental impact the agricultural-industrial complex.

Word to your mother.

Now imagine if you could invest a hundred bucks a month ahead of time, and if 100 other people from your neighborhood did the same, and that money created a co-op that provided locally grown vegetables at cost (sometimes slightly above or below, but with extras) to everyone involved? Pretty sweet, right? And on top of cutting out the environmental impact (not a huge factor with games OR books, but still important) we're talking about a new dynamic that eliminates the need for corporate greed, golden parachutes and all that capitalist nonsense.

The pepper thing is a weak analogy, I know, but that's how my simple mind understands crowdfunding, at least for now. And as far as I'm concerned, it's a revolution (Kickstarter, not green peppers).

So, finally to the actual point of this post, yesterday, at 10:02 AM, I took this screenshot:

What that means, for the uninformed, is that some friends of mine raised $250,000 dollars for a game they plan on designing, in just over one hour. ONE HOUR.

Before I get to how amazing that is, and how happy I am for them, let me give you some background.

In 1999, I played probably the greatest computer role playing game ever made. It was called Planescape: Torment. It was like nothing I'd ever seen. I loved it mostly for it's design at the time, but now, over a decade later, as a writer, I can appreciate it even more for the sheer genius of its storytelling.

Anyway, before I get all nostalgic, the point is they're making a spiritual successor. It's called Torment: Tides of Numenera (obviously) and it is going to be pretty amazing. I should know, because one of my best writer friends and internet homies, Adam Heine, is one of the designers. The lead designer, who I also know a little bit, through Adam and Facebook, is Colin McComb, who is also very talented individual.

Adam is a very dear friend to me. He's a critique partner of mine, and I've read a lot of his work, and as far as I'm concerned, he's got a very bright future as an author, regardless of what happens to him as a game designer. So ... I can't even really express in a blog post how happy I am for him, but this post isn't so much about a bro-crush man-gush as it is about what this means to all of us: we aspiring writers, we authors, and we publishing professionals.

More on all that in a minute. For now, I've got to do my shout outs.

• Brian Fargo is the boss. He runs inXile, which has a history of making awesome shit
• Colin McComb is the Lead Designer, he also writes books
• Adam Heine is a Designer, but we know him already
• Monte Cook authored the table top RPG system the game is based of off: Numenara
• Shanna Germain was a huge help with that, and she also writes and edits books
• Chris Avellone had Colin's job for the first game, but he gives the new one one thumb up (this dude is so cool, he has his own Wookiepedia entry)

Actually, I'm in so much shock over here, I'm just going to quote Adam's post about all this bizness (or paraphrase it, rather):

Adam, Colin, and Brian et al have 30 days to raise almost a million dollars, so go pledge now! GO! GO! GO!

Wait. What is this? Where are we?

You may recall Adam is a designer/writer for a computer game called Torment: Tides of Numenera, which is a successor to a game he helped make 14 years ago called Planescape: Torment. The new Torment will only happen if they reach their funding goal on Kickstarter. Hence the noise.

Planescape what now?

Planescape: Torment. A computer role-playing game from 1999 that won a lot of awards and became the standard for deep characterization and storytelling in PC games (a standard which many feel has not been met since). It didn't sell very well at the time, but it has gained a lot of fans since then.

Why should you give them money?

If Torment reaches its goal, it means Adam will have a job (the extent of which depends on how much Torment exceeds its goal).

You should give money to the Kickstarter if:

• You are a fan of Planescape: Torment, or have even ever heard of it.
• You are a fan of RPGs with deep, emotional stories.
• You like what you see in their pitch video or on the Kickstarter page.
• You like Adam's writing and want to see more of it (I should add here that one of the rewards includes a novella written by Adam - but this reward my be gone by now, check the website for more detail). NOTE: Matt here, I have read two of Adam's full length novels, and some of his other work, and I can tell you: they're awesome.
• You like Adam and want to help him have something approximating job security. NOTE FROM MATT AGAIN: This dude is a modern day saint. I'm not kidding. In case you weren't aware, he lives in Thailand, and is the foster dad for like 40 kids.

Whether you pledge or not, please spread the word!

Actually I don't know what pledging is. Or Kickstarter.
I probably should've asked this first...

Kickstarter is a funding platform for any kind of creative project. You pledge money to projects that you want to see happen, because most of them won't happen without your help. If the project doesn't meet its goal, then they don't take your money (which is why they say "pledge" instead of "pay" or "donate").

Learn more about Kickstarter here, and read here for how it's been used in the recent past.

-----------------------break it on down-----------------------

Okay, so that was basically just a near-exact copy of Adam's post, (and UPDATE: a lot of that is moot now, since they're funded) but what I really want to blog about today is the whole concept of crowdfunding in general. In a world where corporations allow the bottom line to run everything with so much power that crap products like the shake weight, spray on hair, and chicken mcnuggets actually exist and thrive, crowfunding allows really cool shit to be made, with super low margins (that's an MBA term for that ass), because fans of that stuff can essentially invest directly in it's creation.

It's not quite that simple, obviously, but it is that awesome.

UPDATE: I wrote most of this post at 11 AM yesterday, but now that's it 3 PM, and my soul-sucking corporate day job shift is over, the project is over 99% funded (out of a goal of $900,000).

This is exactly the kind of thing that makes you shed a tear of joy for humanity. When you sit in a dull grey office all day, and you work your ass off for someone else's benefit, it can get pretty depressing. But then you see something like this, and you remember the human race is fucking awesome.

UPDATE TWO: Looks like they got funded by the time I got out to my car. Congrats, ladies and gentlemen!

UPDATE THREE: Torment: Tides of Numenara broke the all time Kickstarter record for the fastest time to earn a million dollars: Geek Native. If you think about that for a second, you'll feel high.

Also, I just realized, when I was young, I used to look a lot like The Nameless One, from the first Torment. I was like 19 here:

And here, which was like maybe 1997. Not long before Torment:

See what I mean:

I might not be blue, but I have the desperate, want-to-be dread-lock look down pat, don't you think?

And finally, something for the poets:

Something

I need to put something up just so that stupid screaming goat/sheep/whatever video isn't the latest post on my blog. I know, I'm sorry.

I've been extremely busy this week, but I'm getting a lot done. Mostly revising based on notes from an awesome critique partner, but also critiquing some work for a dear friend of mine. I've also been taking time off in an attempt to gear up for the A to Z Challenge, which is always fun, but a lot of work.

Anyway, happy Wednesday! Send me queries if anyone needs help; I don't have anyone waiting!

Happy Friday Troublemakers

You're welcome!