Prince Hospitalized

Prince Chaffing was hospitalized over the weekend for a wicked rash. Doctors suspect the condition was caused by too tight, tights.

The royal family had no comment.

Multiple Monkeys Hospitalized

by j.a. kazimer
Health New Never News

In a horrifying weekend mishap, five little monkeys jumping on a bed have been hospitalized after one by one they fell off and bumped their heads. Zookeepers at the New Never City Zoo were unavailable for comment as to how the actual accident occurred, but rumors of counting sheep involvement persist.