Get under yourself

I have had the amazing experience of moving here to Iowa for the last couple of months. It's been a whole new adventure to have to stand up on my own two feet and not rely on the, "Oh your Ed and Wendy's kid," or "Your Brad and Lisa's little sister," or "Oh your from 3rd ward." All of those stereotypes (which I love btw :)) have been swept out from underneath me and suddenly I am standing in Davenport Iowa as just Kira. It's been an interesting experience having to make my own name and not relying on the good name of those who came before me.

I also have had the awesome experience of getting to make new friends and know those around me. I've met people that I click with easily and who have grown into great friends. And I've met people that the first thing that came into my head when I talk to them was "Oh, get over yourself." These people seem so snobbish and are difficult to talk with because they try to hurry the conversation so they can move on to whatever activity they have next (even if that activity is sitting alone in the corner), they answer with one word, or they don't talk to me at all. Thus the "get over yourself". At times I've wanted to scream it in their faces "Get over yourself!!" Or write it in a note, like third grade, "mark yes if you will -Get Over Yourself!!" But every time it makes me frustrated and hurt because their snobbiness is damaging the way I look at myself.

Until now. Today I had a conversation that changed my "get over yourself" attitude. I sat down and really talked with one of these "get over yourself" people, and I'll admit it, I had it all wrong. I left with one thought- "Get under yourself. And I'll get under you too."

They weren't snobby, or mean, or uncaring, they were afraid, insecure, and self doubting- just like me. Just like most everyone in the world. Afraid of what someone might think of you. Insecure about all your doing. Self doubting that you just might not be good enough.

Get under yourself. And I'll get under you too.

It's crazy how much we judge a person by first appearances and meetings. I have had awesome friends that when I first met them I though, "Geez, I will never be friends with you." or "wow. I think that chick is crazy." or, of course, "Oh, get over yourself." And I realize- believe me, I realize- that all of my thoughts are not helping my self doubting, or theirs. For both of our sakes I've got to change my thoughts to "get under yourself. And I'll get under you too." This person is hurrying the conversation, or not talking because they are just as insecure as I am. They are looking anywhere but at me because they are afraid, like me. They are not laughing at my subtle jokes because they are self doubting that they should, just like I do.

So to my once "get over yourself" friend. -Get under yourself

Know that you are great! Your a fantastic person with a great personality that anyone would love. You are, very much, worthy of where you stand. And you are so worth it. And if that's not enough, know that you have a brother that died for you. You were/are so worth it. And if that's just "meh," in your book, know that you have a brother that went through every little pain that is possible to feel for you. That felt every insecurity, self doubt, depression, grievance, and sorrow that you have had. I think that means He thought you were a pretty fantastic person, and so worth it. Get under yourself, and I'll do what I can to help you. But ultimately it's you who has to realize just how fantastic you are. Get under yourself, and I'll get under you too.