Table Manners

This past weekend Mr L and I went for afternoon tea at Blenheim Palace of all places! It was actually a gift from my mother-in-law at Christmas, and we've only got around to doing it now.
I felt like a real lady who lunches, and I put on a dress for the occasion even if it was a bit windy.


The palace and gardens were beautiful and well worth a visit, but the cakes, well now, the cakes and sandwiches were just perfect! They were served in the beautiful Indian room, overlooking the fountains... pure bliss.

We even finished every last scrap! And I have a photo of me with my elbows on the table ...

What terrible table manners! I happen to buy a book in the gift shop afterwards called 'The Lady's Book of Manners'. It's a book about politeness and etiquette from 1890.

It's so fascinating, so I thought I'd share some table manners from the book with you, and then we'll move onto some more up-to-date table manners. Seeing as I was caught sipping tea with my elbows on the table I could do with a reminder!

The Lady's Book of Manners says:

It is looked upon as the height of vulgarity to use your knife to convey food to your mouth.

I love the use of the word vulgarity throughout the book!

And a hint that I think can still be applied today...

Avoid too slow or rapid eating; the one will appear as though you did not like your dinner, and the other as though you were afraid you would not get enough.

Do you think table manners still apply today? I think they should. Sure, family meals are allot more relaxed, but it's nice to still have some form of etiquette, even if only used at formal events or at Christmas. So here's a reminder (as much to myself as anybody else) of what is considered 'proper' (as opposed to vulgar) conduct at a table, these are just the basics, but they are also the important ones!

• Wash your hands before sitting down, it's a good habit.
  
• Sit up straight, slouching looks untidy
• Don't speak with food in your mouth - nobody wants to see food flying accross the table.
• Chew quietly and with your mouth closed, this is of course easier to do if you take small bites at a time.
• Keep your elbows off the table, it generlly leads to slouching and takes up table space (that's me told then!).
• Excuse yourself from the table or you might look as though you are storming out on a conversation, or you were displeased with something said.
• Wipe your mouth before drinking or your glass will be full of smudges... eek!
• Never reach across a table, as well as glasses that can be knocked over, you might be cutting someone else off from their conversation.
• Don't wave utensils about in the air, for obvious reasons this could be dagerous.
• And yes, don't put your knife in your mouth!
  
• Don't start eating until everyone is seated.
  

Good 'ol table manners. I hope they never fall away completely!
Have a great week everyone!
x

Setting a table the correct way...

My work on the site is done and as you might have noticed a couple of things have changed on my blog. I've been working very hard to add a few extras, update some of my labels, and change the layout with a new template. It's fairly busier than my clean layout from before, but I hope yo enjoy it nonetheless.

I'm excited about today's post because I love learning about etiquette, you know, doing things the 'proper' way. Generally speaking I can set a table correctly for informal family meals, but when I recently served up some tea and scones to work colleagues of mine, I had to go look up how to set the table for a tea party. Whilst doing my research I went the whole hog and looked up how to lay a table for all sorts of occasions. I am no expert, I'm merely trying to learn myself, so I can't claim that these images are 100% correct nor do I have all the necessary glassware, forks and spoons... but then you might not either, so I hope you find this post useful. And if you'd like to correct me on any of these, please do so and I'll update the pictures.

Let's start with laying the table.
Tablecloths look smart, but they are not essential. Instead you might want to show off your glass or antique table and use place mats instead. This is also a good option if you don't fancy ironing a tablecloth. Because, of course, a creased tablecloth looks very untidy unless you're going for a very creased linen rustic look. But saying that, it's only for formal dinners where the tablecloth needs to be immaculate IE. showing only one crease line that runs the length of the cloth. Unlike shown in my amateur photos, a white damask cloth is used only for dinner (silly me!). Prints and coloured cloths are great for ordinary home meals where you might like to re-use the tablecloth more than once (that is a clean cloth for dinner to take you through breakfast and lunch the next day).

A centre piece is not essential, but makes an occasion out of any meal. Using a simple centrepiece of picked garden flowers is elegant, and will make even the simplest family meals feel special.

Now, onto the specifics...
These are of course basic guidelines only. Place settings should be adapted depending on what is served in what order. Cutlery should always be laid with forks to the left, knives to the right with two exceptions: the fork goes on the right when there is no knife, and an oyster fork goes to the right or on the plate. All utensils should face upwards, with the sharp edges of knives turned towards the plate. Spoons go to the right of knives. The utensils that are to be used first are laid at the outer positions. Water glasses are set above the tips of the knives, wine glasses are to the right of water glasses. And if two wines will be served, three glasses should be set in a triangle. Dessert utensils are placed above the main plate, and teaspoons are placed on the saucers. Never lay out any utensils at a setting that do not have a purpouse during a meal.

Breakfast
I've only set out a bowl here, but actually, it should be a plate for hot food, a bowl for cereal on top, toast plate with butter knife on the top left. A glass for water, a glass for juice and a cup and saucer to serve tea or coffee to have with the breakfast.

Lunch
This setting is for a lunch serving that includes a small plate at the top left for salad, and a large plate for the main course. Two glasses above the knife and spoon are provided for juice and water. The napkin can of course be placed to the left of the forks as with other settings.

Morning or Afternoon Tea
I've shown a setting that would be used with serving cake and scones. The knife is for the butter, and the fork for cake. It is preferable to use a small cake fork of course, but I don't have any. Generally a smaller 6" luncheon napkin should be used, and looks ever so sweet in a neat triangle.

Informal Dinner
This setting has a small plate and knife for bread and butter, a soup bowl and soup spoon, a main plate with knife and fork and two glasses, one for water, the other for wine.

Formal Dinner
Once again, I'm afraid I don't quite have all the necessary utensils. But this setting has a bread and butter plate with knife, soup bowl and spoon. There's also a salad fork, main plate and a the teaspoon for use with tea or coffee that is served after the meal. The teaspoon can also be placed on the saucer (I have found evidence of both uses, but perhaps one is wrong?). The glasses are set so that either white or red wine could be had, and a water glass.

Extras:
With formal meals, or meals where guests are attending, try and avoid commercial packaging on a table (jars, cartons, butter tubs etc). Three things I think are essential to add to your dinner services are a milk jug (my mother-in-law is particularly oppose to having a milk bottle at a table), a butter dish or small pots to put butter into and a pretty oil and vinegar set. For serving tea, there should be an extra pot with hot water and for the sugar, sugar cubes are ideal or a pretty sugar bowl and spoon set. Remember that when serving tea, if milk is taken, it is the 'proper' thing to add the milk before pouring the tea. Also remember that water glasses are filled three-quarters full, and wine glasses half full (I'm sure that rule goes out the window as the evening progresses).

So there you have it - a quick basic course on setting the table. Have I left anything out? Do let me know. Oh, and is there anything else you as a reader would like to see added to my blog?

Speaking of which, I'll soon be starting a new weekly post alongside my normal ones about doing one odd-job around the house a week. You know, little things that might not get done normally, so kind of a reminder of one cleaning odd-job to do every week.

I've also found a new home-keeping blog called This Home Sweet Home. Pop over and say hi, there are some great informative posts there about all things home related.

Have a lovely week!
xxx

Many of my tips are adapted from Cheryl Mendleson's "Home Comforts" - an excellent all rounder weighty book for home-keeping. A favourite of mine.