What I Learned During My Facebook Sabbatical

the.comedian

Hi there!  Happy Easter!  I hope you and your loved ones are enjoying your Easter weekend.

This day means several things to me: 

1. It's a day to celebrate our Risen Lord, and to be eternally thankful for his greatest sacrifice.
2. This day symbolically means (for me) the beginning of the Spring/Summer season.  It's not my favorite time of year, but that's for another blog post.
3. This year, today is the end of my sabbatical from Facebook.

This post is to reflect on my time away from Facebook, and share some of the things I have learned.

First, full disclosure:  I did visit Facebook four times during my time away.  Three times to wish loved ones a happy birthday, and once to accept a friend request and look at the photos of her sweet baby boy.  Each of those times, though, I quickly did what I intended to do, and did not stray to look at my wall or any other posts.

Now, on to what I learned!

Most importantly, I didn't really miss it all that much.

Sure, there were times when I missed checking in with some friends to find out how they were doing and what they were up to.  And during the first few days, I had to stop myself from the habit of opening Facebook first thing in the morning.  But after the first week or so, I didn't really think about it.  Instead, I wrote in my journal, or read my favorite blogs or books, or read the news.


I CAN do something for more than seven days!

The second and most amazing thing I learned is that if I focus hard enough, I CAN do something for more than seven days!  I have always believed that I have a very short attention span, and that belief was based on facts.  I almost always lose interest in things after a few days.  There are many examples of this, but the one I like to regurgitate most often is the fact that I've never been able to use the teeth-whitening strips for more than seven days.  (If I'm honest, I've never been able to use them for more than three days!)  But here's the thing:  Your mind will do whatever you tell it to do!  If you tell your mind that you can't do something for more than seven days, well, your mind will abide by your wishes and not let you do something for more than seven days!  It's quite amazing, really.  In the case of my Facebook sabbatical, I told myself that I would stay away for 40 days, and I meant it.  It was important to me that I follow through with it.  (The fact that I posted on Facebook that I would be away for 40 days helped tremendously.  I had to be accountable!)  And because of my determination, I was able to do it without too much difficulty.

Go inward, share less.

Those who follow me on Facebook know that I've been going through some hormonal challenges.  And the reason they know that is because I've shared my hormonal outbursts on Facebook!  That's not cool.  There are some things that should not be put out there on the internet.  What I have learned (or was reminded of, really, because I already knew it) is that going inward in meditation is much more healthy than spreading grievances outward.  Going inward and reflecting on what I'm experiencing helps me to eventually deal with it, and learn about myself.  Going outward just makes me look like an ass.

Intimate relationships are more valuable than superficial relationships.

I don't mean to say that I consider my Facebook friendships to be superficial.  I value that reconnection with old school mates and work mates.  I love reading snippets of their lives, and seeing pictures of their families and adventures.  But there's a lot to be said about spending time with human beings face to face.  There's so much more to be learned from that intimate interaction than from reading status updates.

It's good to take a break.

The definition of addiction is "the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity."  Before my sabbatical, I believe I had become addicted to Facebook.  I say that with all seriousness.  Facebook had become the first thing I thought about when I woke up in the morning, and the last thing I thought about before going to bed.  I felt the need to share every aspect of my life with my Facebook audience.  I no longer took the time to experience life through my own eyes, but instead focused on how to share the moments with my friends and followers.  Not cool, people.  Our life moments go by in a flash.  If we don't take them in and let them give us joy and knowledge, we are missing out, for sure. 

It's more fun to live my own life than to read about others'.

The last major lesson I learned, but certainly not the least meaningful, is that it's much more fun to live my own life than to read about the lives of others.  I had started to become envious of my friends.  They were having much more fun than I was.  Why couldn't my life be as cool as theirs?  Well, folks, I answered my own question.  I had to get my nose out of the Facebook community to realize that my life can be fun and cool and meaningful if I just live it.  Just LIVE IT!

I am really proud of taking the initiative to step away from Facebook for forty whole days.  It sounds simple enough, but it wasn't until I took that time off that I realized how it had consumed my life in more ways than I realized. 

I'll be rejoining the Facebook community today, after I upload this post.  But my time there will be purposefully limited.  I don't want to fall back into old habits.  There's too much to be done in this life; too much to be experienced.  I'm going to take in every moment that I can!

Until next time, be well.

On the Meaning of Lent and Giving Up Facebook

Tonight at midnight marks the first day of Lent.  For those who do not know about Lent, it is the spiritual time for Christians that spans the 40 days before Easter.  It is a time of reflection and repentance, moderation and sacrifice.  It is a time to reflect on the life of Jesus Christ and the mark he left on the world.

I was born and raised a Catholic, but fell away from the church in my adult life.  Some would say I am a "non-practicing Catholic."  Mind you, I in no way fell away from God, and in fact I feel a stronger spiritual connection now more than ever.  I just fell away from the Church.  But that's another story for another day, and is not really important in this context.

What is important is that the Easter season is my favorite "spiritual" season.  Next to Christmas, of course.  :) 

During Christmas, I am always excited and rejuvenated.  I enjoy thinking about and celebrating the birth of Jesus.  I feel like a kid again during the Christmas season, because I am reminded of all of the traditions my Mother started for us while we were young, and the new traditions that were started as we grew older.  It's a time filled with family and friends and traditions, and is generally a very happy time for me.

Easter, on the other hand, is more of a reflective time.  I tend to go inward, and think more about my spiritual life and my relationship with God.  It is a somber time as I remember the horrible punishment Jesus endured, and how poorly he was treated, and how he was ridiculed and discriminated against.  I get very sad when I think about how alone he must have felt.  Yes, he was the Son of God, but he was also a human being.  And the pain he endured, both mentally and physically, must have been unbearable.  And then I am reminded that there are many in our own neighborhoods who are experiencing the same kind of emotional and physical pain today.  It is all very sad, really, and makes me extremely grateful for the life I have.

So, getting back to Lent, it is a tradition for me, as for many Christians, to "give something up" during Lent.  It is supposed to be something that is very hard to do, and will be very uncomfortable.  Usually I try giving up chocolate, or swearing, or some other superfluous thing.  And usually I can't make it to Easter.  Forty days is like an eternity for me to try to do something consistently.  Heck, I can't even succeed with seven-day whitening strips!

This year, though, I want things to be different.  I need things to be different.  I'm not a young chick anymore.  I'm getting older, and each year goes by faster and faster and faster.  I'm spending too much time on unimportant things, and not enough time on the things that mean the most to me.  I am busy with work and family, and I'm not spending the extra time I have on the things that are most important to me.  I'm so, so afraid that I am going to reach the end of my life and be filled with regret.

So this year I am going to do something different.  I am going to give something up for Lent, but at the same time I am going to honor myself by doing something for me.  For forty whole days.  Some may say that this is not the "proper way to honor God," but I would disagree.  How best to honor God then by honoring myself, who was made in His own image?

So here's my plan for Lent:  I'm giving up Facebook.  For forty whole days.  I'm not going to visit Facebook to see what my friends and family are up to, I'm not going to visit Facebook to play the time suck that is Candy Crush, and I'm not going to post status updates.

I will, however, use that time to write and reflect.  And some of that writing will include daily updates here on this blog.  Trust me, I spend a LOT of time on Facebook, so there will be much time to spare.

In some eyes, this might seem inconsequential and not really a sacrifice at all.  But you have no idea.  As I said, I spend a lot of time on Facebook, and zero time writing.  Which is my passion, and what I feel my Soul wants most to do.  Giving up Facebook will be very hard.  Making myself sit down to write will be very hard.  I don't hold much self-discipline, so this will be a true test for me.  But I really want to do it, because I feel that it holds some real value for my life.

So, as of midnight tonight, I'll be away from Facebook.  (That's just a little over three hours!  Eek!)  And I'll plan to go back on Easter Sunday.  Maybe.  I may find out at the end of this exercise that my priorities have shifted, and that growth will have occurred.  That is my prayer.

I invite you to follow along on this journey of mine.  You can subscribe to this blog over there in the side bar -- you can subscribe for email updates, or RSS feed updates.  Or you can just add journalkeeper.com to your favorites and check in every day.  It's up to you!  But I hope you'll join me either way.  I have a feeling I will need LOTS of encouragement.

Thanks for reading.  Be well.