The Annotated Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter #6

Before we get started tonight, I have a small announcement to make.

It's recently come to my attention that Sean J. Jordan, the head editor for Dabel Brothers, has not only read the ISB's series on Anita Blake, but much to my surprise, has actually gotten a kick out of them, to the point where he linked to them on the DBPro website, calling them "an excellent series" and referring to me as "a really funny guy." All kidding aside, I think it says a lot about those guys that they're being good sports and have a sense of humor about their work.

So! Now that I've built up a small amount of good will from the people who make this thing, I think it's time to completely blow it with another round of comprehensive notes on the subtle nuances and were-rat Daisy Dukes of everyone's fourth-favorite vampire hunter, now featuring even more guys in mesh tank tops than anyone could have possibly predicted.

Grab your own copy and follow along!


0.0: This issue marks the first for scripter Jess Ruffner, who replaces Stacie M. Ritchie as the dauntless soul in charge of adapting Laurell K. Hamilton's original novel for the world of comics. To that, I can only say this:

WELCOME TO THE ISB, JESS RUFFNER!
HOPE YOU SURVIVE THE EXPERIENCE!!

1.1: This issue opens with virtually the exact same description of Dead Dave's that closed out #5, in what one can only assume is an effort to cater to the goldfish market, whose members tend to have a long-term memory of somewhere around 3 seconds:

Number 5...



Annnnd No. 6:



1.2-4.1: This sequence marks the first appearance of Luther, who--in the grand tradition of cutting-edge literary stereotypes that brought us a vampire who was actually a little girl--fills the role commmonly referred to by film scholars as "Magic Negro." The problems here should be pretty self-evident.

According to the article, such characters are usually "disabled... by discrimination" (Check!) and serve "as a plot device to help the protagonist get out of trouble, typically through helping the white character recognize his own faults and overcome them."



Check!

8.2: Anita's waving a pistol around her own empty apartment again, and while it's not often that I'll cop to making a mistake here on the ISB, I have to admit I made an error. Last month, I stated that my definitive firearms reference manual, Punisher Armory, did not have any information on Anita's pistol, the FireStar 9mm, when in fact, there is a mention of the gun right there in #3, where it's referred to by Frank Castle as "just another nine."

So it's nice to know that Anita's as picky about her weapons as she is about her gentlemen callers.

8.7: Check it out:



Looks like Anita's not an albino after all. Guess I owe you a Coke, Caitlin.

9.6: Hey Anita! Do you think there's fan-fiction out there where you become Harry Potter's next Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?



Good call.

10.1: Hey everybody! It's Phillip!



In addition to being the male stripper/semi-professional vampire chewtoy that'll be guiding Anita through the sordid world of the undead key party, Phillip has apparently never heard of sleeves, which prompts even Anita herself--who, if you'll remember, spent the last issue kicking it in a knee-length t-shirt featuring penguins in swimsuits playing volleyball--to make fun of his outfit.

12.3: In a plot that was probably cooked up by John Hughes on a slow day in 1988, Anita and Phillip have to pose as lovers for the evening, despite the fact that she's a vampire hunter, he's a vampire fetishist, and together... they fight crime.

13.5: Oh boy.



This is Madge, and despite the fact that her thighs give me the impression that she's fully prepared for a trek across the Sahara without stopping for water, I think she's supposed to be sexy. Just be glad that I didn't scan any shots of Harvey, who appears to be a potbellied insurance agent clad in a loincloth and a leather harness that was apparently donated by Adam, Prince of Eternia.

18.1: Edward, Anita's hard-living flamethrower-packing sociopathic best friend, reappears here as "Teddy," an identity he uses to go undercover at "Freak Parties." Despite the fact that he's wearing an outfit that includes a vest, leather chaps, and a spiked dog collar, he looks only slightly more ridiculous than he does on the cover, where he's wearing a black trenchcoat with cargo pockets and his grandmother's reading glasses.

22.8: For the second time in the story thus far, Anita's forced to maintain her cover by making out with a long-haired pretty-boy who just shared his sensitive side.

And on a related note, I'm really starting to sense a pattern here.