Somedays I love being a mom! I love the highs and the lows and the inbetween moments.
And somedays I feel like a complete failure at everything. - Today is one of those days.
Today I wondered why I should even try to correct Jarom when it doesn't seem to ever sink in, and his actions never seem to improve.
Today I wanted to burry myself in a snowbank and wait until it didn't feel cold any more. I considered it while I sat on the front steps crying after Jarom locked me out when I went to get the mail.
Today I discovered that my efforts to make a birthday special are - more often than not - in vain as I walked into the kitchen to see a trail of chocolate cake crumbs leading from the once perfect, now demolished cake on the counter to Taysia's highchair.
Today I learned that naptime is pointless as I wasted three hours attempting to get Jarom to sleep and yet still ended up failing.
Today I pondered whether having more kids would be wise as I watched Jarom pull Taysia off the couch multiple times, push her down as she attempted to walk, and beat her with a toy.
Today I watched Jarom disobey time after time and wondered, "What am I doing wrong?" Somehow I invisioned myself being perfect; a perfect mom with perfect kids; a perfect wife with perfect order and never ending patience - and yet I have fallen short.
Today... I have failed!
Today I lost my temper; I yelled, I cried.
Today I wanted to give up and quit.
Today I wondered if it was worth it; I wondered why I should even try when it seems like the end result is always the same.
Today I asked God why me?
Today I did fail.... but Tomorrow.....
Tomorrow I will forgive today and start fresh.
Tomorrow I will hold that little boy in my arms and thank God that he is mine. I will kiss the sweet cheeks of my baby girl and stare in awe at her beauty.
Tomorrow I will see the sun through my rain and allow its light to paint a rainbow across my sky.
Tomorrow is perfect.
Tomorrow is mine.
A small sampling of the dealings and adventures of our family and the love that we share.
4 comments:
Guess you will have a hide-a-key now huh? What a day. I am sorry you were so frustrated. And I am sorry we missed Taysias b-day. Can't believe she is already one! It is scary to think that someday there may be no tomorrow to make up for today. each day is a blessing, some are just much harder than others. You are an amazing mom, and sister! Never doubt how wonderful you are.
Oh man! I'm sorry! I hope things are better today...you're such a good mom!
I'm sorry to hear about your rough day!! You are an amazing mom and wife, and you have amazing qualities!! Always know that you are such an example and an amazing sister in law!! I love yoU!
You totally described my frustration and hope! Sorry you had a rough day, but thanks for sharing it so I could remember that I'm not the only one who gets frustrated with their own kids. I love you so much and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, feel free to call me anytime!
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