It's Bush's Fault!

Wall Street barreled higher Friday, sending the Dow Jones industrials up 138 points to a new six-year high

Oh, wait. That's good when the stock market goes up, isn't it?

The Dow rose 138.88, or 1.21 percent, to 11,577.74, its best showing since the Dow reached its all-time high of 11,722.98 on Jan. 14, 2000.

I guess terms like "best showing" and "all-time high" are good, right?

I'm sure there's a reason why this is due to the Democrats, but they're too busy blaming the Administration for everything that's wrong in the world.

Ocho

Wilson has maintained his innocence since being charged in the crime.

What this news article doesn't talk about is the victim's family, the prosecutors, and the investigators on the case. They watched the execution, too, and talked about the incontrovertible evidence that led to this monster's conviction.

Jackie Wilson, 39, was condemned for taking Maggie Rhodes to a field on November 30, 1988, and raping and suffocating her. Wilson then drove over the girl's body.

Not one single tear was shed in that room. This guy apparently died a liar, still in denial of the crime he committed.

Wilson's DNA was found on the girl's body. His fingerprints were found on the apartment's broken bedroom window and Rhodes' hair was found in and on the underside of the car Wilson was driving.

The girl was 5 years old, taken from her bedroom in Arlington, TX.

There's one less monster in the world.

Pharaoh's Phallus Phound

Evidently, King Tut's weiner was believed to be missing.

There was speculation that it had been stolen and sold to a private collector. There are people who do collect such things.

Yes, they're called "wives."

In any event, it was there all along. I don't suppose Tut will be making any Enzyte commercials soon...

Man With Prosthetic Legs, Deaf Man Brawl

Hisey, who has two prosthetic legs, stopped his car at the Porter County Airport, got out and used his walker to go around to the passenger side, where he grabbed Mills to pull him from the car, police said.

Mills allegedly pushed Hisey to the ground, causing him to hit his head.

Okay, there are just waaay too many smart-assed comments for this one.

I'll open this up to our readers.

The Korea Times : Korean Scientists Develop Female Android

From a distance, the android could be confused with a real, flesh and blood human being, according to Baeg.

After a few beers, so could my wife.

But can she cook? And what, exactly, makes her female? That's the part that makes me wonder about these Korean scientists...

Video Shows Al-Zarqawi Fumbling With Rifle

Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch, spokesman for the U.S. command, mocked al- Zarqawi as the previously unseen footage showed a smiling al-Qaida leader first firing single shots from a U.S.-made M-249 light machine gun. A frown creeps across al-Zarqawi's face as the weapon appears to jam. He looks at the rifle, confused, then summons another fighter.

I'd like to join in on the mockery, too. I watched the video. This hero of islam is nothing more than a paper tiger, and leaves the dirty work to slavish drones who've been brainwashed into executing innocent women and children.

And they're smart, too:

His fellow fighters and associates appear similarly inept in the newly released footage. One reaches out to grab a just-fired weapon by the barrel, apparently unaware that it would burn his hand. The camera quickly pans to the ground and then away.

Nice New Balance shoes and pickup truck, Al. Watch the fun for yourself.

Constant Sexual Arousal Plagues NorCal Woman

Lund has a rare sexual disorder. Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. She suffers from unrelenting sexual arousal.

Rare, my ass. It's called being a man.

Maid Of Honor Takes Bullet During Bouquet Toss

"I didn't hear anything. I just knew I had a hole in my arm," said Campbell. "It was painful, but it wasn't terrible, but it did feel like I was shot. There was really no other way to describe it."

Texas women. A hot girl who can take a bullet - why's she only the maid of honor?

Dean fires Dems' gay outreach chief

It looks like Dean discharged the gay Hitchcock because his boyfriend was a pain in the ass. This leads to new blood near the bottom of the DNC.

Democratic Party Chair Howard Dean fired the party's gay outreach adviser Donald Hitchcock on May 2 less than a week after Hitchcock's domestic partner, Paul Yandura, a longtime party activist, accused Dean of failing to take adequate steps to defend gay rights.

More insanity

You have to wonder just what the hell is wrong with 3 jurors on the Moussaui trial. I couldn't give a rat's ass whether or not his father beat him, whether or not he was the runt in school and everyone made fun of him and ruined his self esteem. That is not an excuse for being a terrorist thug. Period.

This scumbag needs to be taken to the back of the barn, shot, and then thrown to the pigs as a lesson to the rest of his ilk.

But instead, because of 3 idiot jurors, the scumbag gets to live off our prison system for the rest of his life. Again, your tax dollars at work.

Our system's failure to dole out justice in this case is sickening.

TxDOT

Whatever rocket scientist in TxDOT that decided it was a brilliant idea to shut down two left lanes of traffic tonight south of the Lake Lewisville Bridge, and two right lanes on the bridge itself needs to have a serious ass whipping.

It's probably the same dumbass who was responsible for the FUBAR'd overpass problem at 407 where it crosses I35E - the two opposing sides of the overpass were only a foot or two off center, and the whole project had to be started over from scratch.

Your tax dollars at work folks.

GasBuddy.com - Find Low Gas Prices in Your City

This is pretty handy (for those who haven't seen it already).

Bank heist heroes get rewarded

I never get to shoot anybody, much less make 500 bucks from it. From Paris, Texas, where good old-fashioned justice still prevails:

A Paris man who used his bicycle to chase a suspect in a bank robbery and a Slabtown man who shot the suspect later that day were rewarded Friday with five crisp $100 bills.