Miss O is quite the girl if you ask her mother. (Which is me.)
The last week has been a bit crazy. She has had her ups and downs with illness, which is typical in our life. Being a micro preemie leaves her with many different things she deals with. One of which is that when this girl is sick she's sick and she is often misunderstood.
I left the hospital last night with her (that being the third hospital we had been to in 36 hours) and was fuming mad and in tears. Basically I felt defeated. I felt like the medical world once again looked at me like an uneducated idiot. After x-rays, 4 ultrasounds, IV's, tests after tests we left knowing exactly what I already knew, she's sick. No explanation in why her right kidney and right side of her stomach has pain and why two other doctors were concerned with appendicitis.
An appendix you may ask? Well they could not find her appendix even after 4 ultrasounds. So we are left at home hoping and praying this pain goes away and is not the start of appendicitis.
I guess the point of all this is not whether she has appendicitis, but a few other things.
One, if you are in the medical world do not discredit a mothers word. Especially a mother that has been to hell and back with her child and knows her. Do not tell a mother right to her face that she doesn't know what she is talking about when she has been to 100's and 100's of doctor appointments, test, specialist and her child is only 4.
Second when circumstances in life are overwhelming and emotional take a step back. What I felt above and beyond the hurt and confusion of being treated poorly in the hospital is that my little family is loved. It didn't matter that my family didn't know what was happening with Olivia, they were there. They gave rides, they drove to Salt Lake to make sure they could give her a hug and see her, they took off work, spent all day on the phone fighting for us, they prayed and they loved. And that my friends it what is important in that circumstance. That a little girl is protected and loved by some of the best family and friends she could ever ask for.
We don't know what will happen with the bills and the medicines and the pain and the what if's. What we know is that we have people that watch over and take care of our baby and us. What we know is that whether we are told we don't know or understand we know better, I know better.
I know my daughter and I know that the spirit guides me. I know that she reacts differently to pain and illness, to stressors and stimulus, but I also know that she is loved fiercely and in return this little 4 year old loves fiercely back. I know that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and helps us even when we are feeling defeated and deflated and trampled on. I know that even if others make us feel low that is not who we are. They too are humans and they must be forgiven and we must move on doing and believing in what we know is true. Don't let people that don't know you or love you bring you down. Turn to those that love you, turn to a Heavenly Father and Savior that know you and love you and listen to the guidance of the spirit.
I guess at the end of the day Miss O had to go through a really crappy day to help her mom learn some really valuable things. Thanks Miss O you never cease to amaze me. Now to a promised day of Netflix and cuddles.
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