On the hot mess that is Masahiro Tanaka, and why pitchers can't throw at A-Rod anymore

Ladies and gentlemen: the Tanaka face!

Have you ever been in one of those tumultuous relationships in which your boyfriend or girlfriend is a hot mess? You know, where you have real passion for the other person, and you think you click with them when you go out together, but they constantly let you down? Yet just when you are ready to give up on the relationship, your boyfriend or girlfriend comes sniffing around again, doing something immensely appealing and keeping you hanging on some more, until they let you down again and the cycle continues?

That's kind of what Masahiro Tanaka is like.

Ever since he tore his elbow, he has simply awful starts, then shows flashes of brilliance. Unfortunately, he is in the "awful starts" part of his repertoire now.

In his previous start, Tanaka had tanked in every way — allowing 10 hits, seven runs and three home runs over five innings in a 12-4 loss to the Tigers. The three home runs allowed, one to Victor Martinez and two to J.D. Martinez, marked a career high. Tanaka also tied a career high in runs (7) and earned runs (5) and he has never allowed more hits in a start.


Yesterday, Tanaka was staked to a 6-0 lead, and promptly gave it back over six innings. He gave up six runs, seven hits, and only had three strikeouts. He tied the 3-homer record that he established in his last start, and gave up more earned runs (6) than he ever has before. And when he melted down in the sixth, most notably when Jose Altuve hit a homer off him to tie the game, we got to see the Tanaka Face for the first time!

As Mike Vaccaro of the New York Post puts it:

Of course, the thousand-pound rhinoceros (or, in Alex Rodriguez’s preferred parlance, the pink elephant) in the room is, and will for the foreseeable future be, whatever hidden rat traps lurk within Tanaka’s elbow.

But what if it is not his elbow?

The whole situation reminds me of a joke about the Grateful Dead: A hippie runs out of drugs before a Dead show. After he listens to the concert sober, he says, "Wow, this music really stinks." (Of course, I love the Dead, and listen to them sober, but I still think this is a funny joke!)

What if it is just that Tanaka really stinks, and it is not his elbow causing this? But if it is his elbow, when is he going to get Tommy John surgery?

The Yankees did come back and win the game yesterday, 9-6. But if they are going to make the postseason, they need Tanaka to be a good boyfriend an ace again!

* * *

I missed watching the first half of the game live, although I did later on see the clip (see below) of Astros starter Brett Oberholtzer throwing inside to Alex Rodriguez after Houston hometown hero Chris Young's homer, the pitcher promptly getting ejected for doing so, and then Oberholtzer appearing to blame his glove for the bad pitching, hurling the glove in the dugout. The Houston starter was sent to the minors after the game.

The Yankee broadcasters called Oberholtzer "bush league," said the pitch was not the mark of a true competitor and said he should "take it like a man."

A few things I noticed about this:

Remember how Boston Red Sox pitcher Ryan Dempster threw four times in a row at A-Rod and the umps let him get away with it? Those times are over. Thought it was telling about Rodriguez' current reputation in the game that one inside pitch to him is enough to get the pitcher ejected.


It's clear that CC Sabathia is A-Rod's BFF. When A-Rod hit #3000, one of the players he hugged was CC. Then Sabathia spent big coin on "Ace of Spades" champagne for a postgame toast.  Now the pitcher was the first out of the dugout, ready to rumble after Alex got hit. Big change from the early days of A-Rod on the team! I wish I had CC in my posse! Heck, I wish I had a posse!

Sympathy for the devil: A-Rod gets cheers,Tanaka melts down, Yankees implode

I was at work yesterday, so I didn't get to see the Yankees' Opening Day in person or on TV. But I did listen to the first half of the game on the radio, and the team didn't exactly impress -- Masahiro Tanaka seemed to be pulling his punches, so to speak, when pitching, and the lineup was flat, as predicted.

Also, I wanted to hear what kind of reception A-Rod received (turns out I correctly predicted that he would get the loudest one, and that it was mostly positive.) But why the radio broadcast didn't play the pre-game intros live, and didn't include Rodriguez's intro for his first time at bat since September 2013, is beyond me. I would have rather actually have heard it live, instead of hearing Suzyn Waldman talk about it! (I did get to hear both intros later.)

And it turns out that A-Rod walked up to Jay-Z's "Public Service Announcement" yesterday, specifically to the lyrics, "Allow me to reintroduce myself." (Click here to watch a clip of his intro for his first at-bat.) Cool choice!

After hearing about that, my brother Patrick had his own choice for the walkup theme song: the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil!"!  Heh! C'mon, Daily News, I am very disappointed that you guys didn't put that in a post-game headline, especially considering that Cousin Yuri's wife called A-Rod "the devil" in your paper!

Sure, it is only one game. But let's face it. This Yankee squad is not a good team, and it is not going to be a good team this year. To add insult to injury, Squawker Jon's Mets had an impressive Opening Day victory. Oy.

Met-Yankee comparisons at the All-Star break

Met shortstop Ruben Tejada has an OPS of .647. The Mets are looking to upgrade at the position.

Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter has an OPS of .647. Jeter is starting in the All-Star Game and batting leadoff.

The Mets have one All-Star - Daniel Murphy.

Excluding sentimental pick Jeter and injured Masahiro Tanaka, the Yankees have one All-Star - Dellin Betances - a middle reliever.

Curtis Granderson  is hitting .237 with 14 homers, 43 RBI, 46 runs, 7 steals and a .768 OPS. Granderson makes $15M per season.

Carlos Beltran is hitting .216 with 9 homers, 28 RBI, 22 runs, 1 steal and a .671 OPS.
Beltran makes $15M per season.

Bartolo Colon has eight wins and an ERA of 3.99.

In 2011 with the Yankees, Colon had eight wins with an ERA of 4.00.

Playing without Matt Harvey this season, the Mets are 45-50 with a winning percentage of .474.

In games not started by Tanaka, the Yankees are 34-42 with a winning percentage of .447.

Brian Cashman makes bizarre claim in Masahiro Tanaka's Tommy John story

Oh, great. One of the only reasons to have hope with the Yanks this year, Masahiro Tanaka, is injured with a small tear on his ulnar collateral ligament on his pitching elbow. And the three doctors he saw in Seattle yesterday all recommend rest and Platelet-Rich-Plasma injections -- a six-week plan that potentially could get him back on the mound in September, without Tommy John surgery.

But call me skeptical that this will work -- rest didn't work for Matt Harvey or most of the pitchers who ultimately needed Tommy John surgery. As ESPN's Wally Matthews points out, if Tanaka were to get the surgery now, he would be ready by next year's All-Star break. If he doesn't, he won't be back until 2016. As Matthews writes:

It's not my money, my player or my team, but if it was, I'd seek a fourth opinion on Tanaka's torn UCL, and then offer one of my own. Do the surgery now. Get it over with, get the rehab started, and get Tanaka back on the mound as quickly and as safely as possible.

I agree -- I think this is just prolonging the inevitable.

But Brian (Supergenius) Cashman contends that this program has worked for lots of Yankee pitchers, although he refused to name a single one, saying "I wouldn't say" who was able to stave off TJS by rest and rehab.

Brendan Kuty of NJ.com writes about Cashman's bizarre assertion:

But it might already be hard for fans to remain confident in Tanaka's plan. That's because neither Cashman nor Girardi offered examples of previous success stories. In Cashman's case, he didn't want to discuss them. "Some of which are pitching elsewhere," he said. "Some of which have pitched for us in the past and now retired. Some of which, you know, we have in the minors."

Okay, Brian. Name one! Is that too much to ask for? You would think that if multiple Yankees in the organization had been able to successfully rehab a torn UCL by rest and rehab, that Cashman would be pleased to reveal their names, especially given that the track record on this issue in MLB isn't good -- virtually everybody with a torn UCL ends up needing Tommy John surgery. Yes, Adam Wainwright was able to put off the surgery for a few years, but he still needed it.

Or maybe Cashman is, you know, full of it. Shocker.

And so much for that tough New York media. Kuty is the only one I could find who questioned Cashman's ridiculous claims. He writes regarding Cashman and Joe Girardi contending that this had worked for others (but Girardi, unlike Cashman, never contended they were people in the Yankee organization):

But the way showing your work earned you extra points on an elementary school mat test, dropping a few names might instill confidence in those paying for seats and beers and hot dogs at Yankee Stadium when they feel like their team's playoff hopes are hanging by a partially torn ligament.

Yeah, like that will ever happen. Cashman is the Teflon GM in this town, and the next time he is confronted on his nonsense by the NYC media will be the first time! No, we're just all supposed to believe his lies about all those successful Yankee pitchers who miraculously avoided Tommy John surgery by rest and rehab. Good grief.