@$#%I*$#

had one of those distressing days. you see, i received a call in the afternoon from BBDC which told me i had to book one more driving lesson by TOMORROW, otherwise my driving test date would be cancelled. but the problem is, bbdc lessons are booked to the pit and drained to the dregs (read: no lessons though i kept refreshing the page every 30 seconds for 3 hours). so? i called one of my hockey juniors n asked if she happened to have a class tomorrow which she could give up to me. n she said, yes! the prime time slot at 12 plus, n we both camped at our computers and she cancelled her class, while i tried to kope it. but guess what?
???
someone koped her slot before i did, even though i was there the very second. like ARGH! heart pain. and then i was reading gerrys blog in between the fingerclicks on bbdc, and i saw the verse, 'unless the lord builds the house, we labour in vain' and i felt bingo -heart sank further- its just like that. and i dont even know why im repeating it to myself cos it just drums the facts in deeper, but aiyah, i just need an outlet. im so :[ ;[ :( (insert weary, disgruntled, yet-i-still-hope, stop-telling-me-its-easy, sigh emoticon)
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what does it mean to be the best of myself? i guess i would have to be happy, since thats what my name means. and it applies to everything, in the fight against middling mediocrity. i mean, of course there may be things im just average at, but i shouldnt settle into my shoes and sit in my hips and settle for it. if at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again. and then i can reassess if i am meant to spend my time wading through all the mediocrity, or re-divert my attentions and energies towards something else.
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how the new philosophy works:
1. not on blackmail.
2. on continued conviction.

i told my friends i would repent from my slow or sometimes non-existent sms replying, and actually TRY to reply promptly. but the sms ahlee sent me last night just stumped me; so you can't jolly well expect a reasonable and prompt answer to a shocking statement. she is often either too deep or too full of nonsense, that girl. n i could rattle on about this "philosophy" but it is so much common sense i'd rather not, and leave you to find out your own philosophies about your own lives.

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by the way, transformers rocks.
by the way, what does this phrase mean? what way? what is by it?
i think i am going mad. somebody help.