firstfruits!

reached back about an hour ago from worship pract! this week was BUSY! but.. whats new righT? the important thing is im not tired. and as it drew towards evening today i found myself actually getting excited about going for worship. the old fears were gone.. i do think i love this. :)

but zhon just reminded me that she's thinking of backing down.. which is a little dampener.. but oh well. God if you call her to this, tell her otherwise, if not, i'l let her go. hahah. not that i HAD her or anything....... :/ aiyah.

going to esplanade this sunday to MAP the place. yah, we gonna draw it and look like weird psycho people who're overly interested in a green and narrow river which has a white confused hybrid animal spitting out the salty water into, well, more salty water.

amanda heng! i need to talk to you la. this sunday how!

WOHWOH is SERIOUSLY overdue for an outing. [....but no time leh] how?

sini, how u doing? don't let yourself get down okay? pick yourself up and dont worry about what they say or think, just be honest with your inner thoughts and feelings, and if possible, let them know. well.. you know what i would do if you were in your shoes, so you decide! :) remember your license to smile haha.

i met a meaningful, funny cab driver on my way to school during the week. he shared with me ren shen dao li. like, if people take your money, nvm, dont ask them to return.. n LOADS of other stuff.. like we should just learn to be happy and not gripe about everything, give in and give way at times. and i asked him what was his religion.. and he said he didnt have one. i told him the things he said happen to be in the bible too. and im thinking.. does God reveal himself like that? like when people try to search out the truth, and they hit on a wisdom that is contrary to worldliness.. are those first impressions of God? anyway i hope he finds the Greatest Truthgiver ever soon. when i got out of the cab he handed me the change with both hands and said, this money is given to us by God.. use it well! haha. :)


what i learnt these few weeks:
*what are the best parts of you? your voice? your looks? your sense of wit? a natural confidence? an ability to make people feel at home? your organised use of time? your intellect? your health?
* those are first fruits! and the FIRST things belong to God. first of our time, first of our talents, first of our thoughts, first of our heart, first of the best. :) God, take take take it all.

bee cube

its been a looong day. wonder why it felt so. had a conflict management talk with a few of my cell group members.. and i guess conflict just drains a certain part of you ya? the broken pieces hurt in the welding together, in the digging up of old wounds to take out that buried splinter, and i do hope its just a part of the healing process.

i've been hearing so much about this and that, and who and whom, and i find PEOPLE are just tiring, yet PEOPLE are who i am supposed to love. with all my heart. this is not an emo post. whenever people think abit its labelled "emo" which is a bit funny because WHY should we be content with the surface superficiality? like hehehehehahahaha I ATE LONG JOHN SILVER'S TODAY!!! big deal, really.

ahlee called me for 5 minutes to 'entertain her' or so she called it so i told her the nun joke which cheryl seah told us and a couple of incidents that happened today and we had a good 5 minute solid laugh. so i think i entertained myself, or her laughter and company entertained me. or whatever lies in between. haha. and amanda heng.. thanks for the train ride back! its good that we have caught up abit more this week, ironically over things we would rather had not existed.

why is loving so difficult, why are people so EMOTIONALLY driven? like so 'i dont feel like it so i dont go'. its NOT even a reason, its an excuse. and a lousy one. meMEMEmymemYMEE.

ME! HELLO!!!

i'm like DUH-UH THE KING/QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE AND YOU REVOLVE AROUND ME!!

-.-

pisses me off. its a shallow weakness, whatever happened to 'i beat my body and make it my slave' and good old DISCIPLINE without which we
CANNOT accomplish ANY of our goals.? im just ranting, okay? im not TARGETTING ANYONE, honestly. so dont read this and -s0b- be offended okay? its not about you. just do take note of the implications of our choices and decisions on those around us, because very often it is human selfishness that cripples someone else.

rant aside, i enjoyed EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of worship with youth alive at fusion, and the workshop as well. it is refreshing to the soul, well, to be refreshed. to be zealous again. not the perverted corrupted kind of zeal but the holy consuming zeal without which i am limp, indifferent, constantly tired and muddled and hamster scurrying.

i dont want to be tissue

white, flimsy, fragile and sterile.

cos tissue is used once and thrown away.

-

i want to be three things though.

a filter, a funnel, a flower.

one to sieve, one to channel, and one to burst.

-

burst out for the Son.

blossom, bubble. buttercup. hahaha.

presently, i present.

first day of school 2007! figured it was blog-worthy. my tutor is Chee K. and i have an amazing exchange student called Nikki/ Nicky (got to figure that one out) in my class from Canada. she has gorgeous bright red curly hair and is such alot of fun to be with. makes me determined to go on an exchange prog in year 3 or sth, where there wont only be one nikki who's so wundderful already but nikkix1000000 yeah you get the idea ;)

this studio seems a little quieter, but perhaps only because its day1, or because there aren't jokers like yang to lighten the atmosphere :) but i have a feeling i can learn alot from them.! and sem 2 remains exciting..well, we have our first assignment out already. due next thursday. study of how an architect studies site and materiality before he embarks on a built project.

yikes, i do miss studio8 [sem1] though.. now im STILL in studio 8 but its definitely gonna feel different. not any better / worse (i hope) but just different.

my first usp lecture by ernest chew on SEA history was also really interesting, especially since there were many familiar faces to latch onto, to ease the -first lesson of the term, of the course, of the day- anxiety. faces like zhenyi, gabriel, davin, choonmeng, wootien, yiting, aikheng etc. haha. and im so glad zhenyi n yilynn are staying in USP! PLUS, they're both in one of my modules each! im gonna see yilynn in the Sonic Arts n Sciences module where i dutifully observe the fluctuations and undulations of sound waves.~~~~ haha. zzz.

present presences.

flipped the page,

imprints left behind

which my finger slowly traces;

echoes reflecting off walls,

hums slowly fading

which my lips move to pronounce;

memories wiped off

lipstick on stained tissue

for which my eyes and skin, skin of my eyes, blur and dim,

so i can see.

prints!

pretty patterns from photoshop. WHEEEEE! im going crrazzyy!!

who's my friend now huh! ;)

-

hola 2007!

first post of the year! ;) good things to look forward to, like this blogskin. school starts tomorrow, can't say i'm too pleased about that.. i pray i'l get a nice good tutor and studio, make good friendships, get the modules i want, keep those new year resolutions. learn chinese! run! gasp i'm turning twenty this year. scary thought. and the numbers just keep running.

2007!

seven is a good number.

and so is 22.