I could only plan

THE PLAN is to fly to Miri on the 1st Aug and return on late Sunday evening. I have been doing this for the past 2 years; celebrating my birthday out of KL. I made up my mind that I would NOT want to be in KL on my birthday.

2 years ago, I celebrated it in Perhentian with a few basketballers....

Last year, I was in Sabah; Kota Kinabalu and Mount Kinabalu to be specific with Dalie and Hana.

This year, its time for Miri. Why Miri? I just want to see the city and since I've got some old Maxis friends there, its like a reunion for all of us.

BUT NOW,

I don't feel like going anywhere. I don't know why. Maybe I think that I'm strong enough to be in KL this time.

I have cancelled my leave for 1st Aug.

Maybe I am still tired from the Redang trip. Maybe I just don't feel well to travel. Maybe I'm just not in the mood to see what's in Miri.

I don't know. I really don't know.

MAYBE this Sunday, I should just do what I love doing a few months back. Take my laptop with me, go jalan-jalan at The Curve, lepak at Starbucks and spend the rest of the time there till the day passes by.

I know Habibi wants me to go to Miri and have fun but I just don't feel like it as things has not gone smoothly for us for the past 2 weeks. There's too much challenges.

For now, I just want to sleep.....

p/s : A colleague at work said he has been here for 3 years but yet to explore and travel in Malaysia.He just refuse to face any risks involve if he was to travel either during or after. I guess at some point he is right. The more we meet new friends, when we return to our empty house, it feels more lonely than before.

Yes!!! I did it!

Alhamdulillah...I did it!! It was really beautiful down there.

Will write more about the trip and experience later. For now, I'm going to bed smiling....

Ahhh...I can smell the salt water

I just loveeeeee the smell of the salt water/sea. My last visit to the beach was in March.
Tomorrow night, at about 12 midnight, I will be on the bus to K.T. Will be away until Sunday afternoon.

Hope to come back with cool pics and great memories.

Till then, don't be naughty when I'm not around, ok?

Got to learn to love this new place

I usually love to go to TESCO but since I've moved to my new crib, I have yet to find out the nearest one. So, as a replacement, the nearest Carrefour is my temporary choice (I hate the arrangement actually)

Just now, instead of just getting dinner, I ended up buying all these.

YEO's fruit drinks are at RM4.29 and its BUY ONE FREE ONE. Same goes with the pink packet facial wipes at RM0.99 (also BUY ONE FREE ONE). The brown mushroom is RM4.29, the PEEL FRESH Pomegranate juice (good to prevent cancer) is for RM5.29 (with a free small packet), the TINGE bottle is actually lemon flavoured mineral water (I love this) at RM0.99 and the black thingy is a legging which is only RM3.00.

Total spent = RM32.00

Not bad at all.

Oh...and I just love their recycle bag...they just came up with a new design.

Am I ready for this? I've got butterflies!!!

Only 3 more days before I leave for Redang for my Open Water Dive. By Friday morning I will be there)

As I have written before, I started dreaming of diving since February 2003 when I went to Sipadan for the 1st time and started writing about it in this blog since 28th Oct 2005 which I wrote under the title "List of things to do". Not only that, the other thing which is in the list is swimming and currently I am learning that too ;-) And 3 years after writing about it, the time has arrived.

Excited?
Yes

Scared?
Yes

Nervous?
Yes

I wish I could share this moment with Habibi who continously encourages and supports me in achieving my dreams. Unfortunately he is thousand of miles away.

Even though he's not going to be with me, I will be wearing the wetsuit, mask & snorkel, the booties and also fins which he bought as a present for my birthday. That is a way for him to make sure that he will always 'be' with me.

I miss you, Habibi.

Food and friends - always make me smile

I had a great day today.

It started off with a 1 hour swimming class which made my legs numb. Mind you, 1 hour class with Major is not easy. This is my 3rd out of 12 classes with him. He asked us to wear the weights that is used for diving so that our legs work harder to make sure that we stay afloat. I had to wear 3 weights which is about 3kgs. And he made us swim as fast as we can from one end to the other. I was sweating as if I was working out in a gym!

After the class, I felt good. Really good. I'm thinking of, maybe after I complete all 12 classes, I'm thinking of continuing another 12 as I think he's training is as good as a personal trainer in the gym. But instead in the gym, it will be in the water ;-) And its much, much, much cheaper then you pay for a gym membership and get a personal trainer.

Later I had lunch at Jazz's place. This time the menu was soto - yummy. 2 mangkuk aku bantai. At about 2.30pm, we decided to go to Sunway Pyramid. Well, that was not the actual plan tapi malas nak cerita panjang, so we ended up jalan-jalan cari makan (yes, right after lunch!) at Pyramid. Jazz said she was still hungry after eating her own homemade, delicious soto. (mengidam kot minah ni...)

So, after walking around and 'window shopping' on food/restaurants, we ended up in Tony Roma's. (somebody yang tak tau kenyang said dia mengidam the ribs).

We had a good ...2nd round lunch/tea/early dinner - whichever you want to call it.

Thanks guys for the great time. You guys never fail to make me smile.

I'm going home

I'm staring out into the night,Trying to hide the pain.I'm going to the place where loveAnd feeling good don't ever cost a thing.And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.I'm going home,Back to the place where I belong,And where your love has always been enough for me.I'm not running from.No, I think you got me all wrong.I don't regret this life I chose for me.But these places and these faces are getting oldSo I'm going home.Well I'm going home.The miles are getting longer, it seems,The closer I get to you.I've not always been the best man or friend for you.But your love, remains true.And I don't know why.You always seem to give me another try.So I'm going home.Back to the place where I belong,And where your love has always been enough for me.I'm not running from.No, I think you got me all wrong.I don't regret this life I chose for me.But these places and these faces are getting old.Be careful what you wish for,'Cause you just might get it all.You just might get it all,And then some you don't want.Be careful what you wish for,'Cause you just might get it all.You just might get it all, yeah.Oh, well I'm going home,Back to the place where I belong,And where your love has always been enough for me.I'm not running from.No, I think you got me all wrong.I don't regret this life I chose for me.But these places and these faces are getting old.I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Penyakit Mental Sementara.....hopefully..

My mood swings lately has been VERY bad. Not that I get angry very easily. I don't. I just get SAD easily. I don't know why. Sad songs, sad stories, sad pictures - everything brought tears to me for the past few days.

I guess its because that I have 2 extreme lifestyles. Extreme for me means at work, I've got loads of cool people to chat and joke with, and if I have classes to teach, they are just cool students to have fun while sharing the knowledge.

BUT when I come home, I come home to a totally empty house.No doubt it is cosy, but it is still empty. I've finished watching my DVD collection weeks ago. I even finished watching my bro-inlaw's collection too.

I'm trying hard not to feel this way. Maybe its because of some changes that has happened..

I hope its just the Penyakit Mental Sementara

Tarot cards and its effect

This morning, I did my tarot card reading. No. Not online on the web. A friend who owns a pack of tarot cards and knows how to do it did the reading for me.

I was informed:

1) I need to learn how to say NO. Because of not able to say NO, I might have big issues. I might not be happy. And the issues are related closely to my heart, my feelings, my emotions. BUT if I could think straight and plan well, and say No where and when I need to, I will good. Tough huh?

2) All my past decisions are based on me doing good things for my friends. It is more about taking care of others and their feelings and not mine. So true!

3) There is a high possibility that I would get promoted or at recognised tremendously related to my contribution at work. This is also a good time to start a new job. (I guess this is a new post or task)

4) Generally, I am in control of my own life and I will be quite successful in bringing some money in. (notice -some, not a lot!)

It gave me a mix feeling. Happy for the good ones but sad because i is true, at times, I don't know where I'm heading to, especially in my love life. I don't even know this is the right choice that I've made. But then, again, there's no such thing as the right choice anymore for me. Whatever choice I make, there will be risks and challenges involve.

As for my job, I just love what I'm doing now and this evening we've got, well, at least for me, received a great news from my boss. A chance to pursue my studies in Training and Development. I am sooo looking forward to it!

The innocent faces

Our innocent faces , 17 years ago


I think I still look innocent till now. Not sure about the person next to me. Hehehe....

Saje je tengah boring. Nothing to do, so I scanned most of the really old pics. Banyak lagi yang belum....

The season has ended...

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real.

But only for a season .....

While my guy is transferred to a new place,

my great friends are also moving away at about the same time.

Maybe I should leave too.......

He motivates me, definitely!

OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!

That's all my heart could say when Tony came in and talked to us for a good 40mnts during our instructors' meeting.

I don't know about the rest of 'em, but his words were extremely motivating me.
VERY, VERY motivating. I guess all these comes from his EXPERIENCES bringing this great company where it is now.

And from what he said, his dream , his wants, I know I am where I am supposed to be, I am at the right place, I am on the right track.

This is my dream job.This is my dream place to work.

Sometimes I wonder, what other things HE has in store for me.
Whatever it is, I hope it would be good.
Insya Allah.

p/s: Tony came with Jason Lo. I just couldn't resist to approach him, say hi and shook his hands;-)

WHY my life is interesting...

Early in the morning at 7.30am, as I entered the lift to go down to my car, I saw the lady's zipper was not done. Still feeling numb and sleepy, I just said, " Miss, you tak zip seluar lah."
She didn't even lift up her face till the lift door opened and she walked out.

*************************************************

My partner in crime at work has not been talking to me since yesterday morning - which is not his usual. I suspected he was upset with something.
I don't really care as I know I didn't do anything wrong. For me, if anybody wants me to play in their game, make sure they can do vice versa.
But some other people has been talking about us.

To clear the air off, I called him during break , and when he came near me, I gave him a hug and ask, "Are you ok?"
He replied, " Yes. Why? Are you ok?" He was surprised with the hug.
I said, " I'm ok. I heard rumours people are saying that you are not ok. And it seems that people say that we are fighting. I just want to clear the air". (I know eyes were looking at us)

He laughed and replied, " F&*% off!"

****************************************************

Before invigilating an exam this morning, as I was walking beside a student, I heard he called me "Miss Spena" and smiled.
Hmm.....very interesting when we have Facebook. The name I use since I was in Form 3 sounds weird when it was called out by a much younger generation.
Especially by my student.
Just feels like going back to school.

*********************************************
It feels weird but it is the truth and nothing but the truth.
I put up Derek Sheperd's pic as my desktop background in the office.
Everytime I look at him, my heart 'cair'.
Nak marah kat orang pun tak jadi.

*********************************************

A handsome 20 year old student asked me, " Miss, can I follow you back home?"

Kids nowadays.....

*********************************************
Planned to watch SEPI at Alamanda; the 7.20pm show. Left office at 6.15pm and till 7.15pm I still couldn't find where Alamanda is. Cis.

Tried to cool down myself, I took these pics.



3 times being there, still couldn't find my way, is a bit too much to take. To cool down, I went to Jusco IOI instead.

And had loads of salmon for dinner.

Have been craving for it since last month.

To a friend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEADEMON!!


(it means Happy Birthday SeaDemon ....in Webdings)

Even Anuar Zain's songs are not helping

How could you listen to Anuar Zain's songs and not feel anything at all towards your love ones? Most times, listening to his songs, it makes my heart hurts. As if somebody's squeezing it hard.
(Btw, he looks a little bit tembam tonight during the Jom Heboh concert)

*****************************************

How I wish for some people who has their love ones around, to treasure them and love them and enjoy the relationship as the days go by.
Please remind yourself that you are lucky, comparing to others whom their spouse/partner is not by their side.

*****************************************

Just remember, your partner comes in a package. Nobody is perfect. And there is no such thing as a perfect plan too.

*****************************************

Me: Do you know that I love you very much?
Habibi: Yes I do. I love you too.
Me: Do you want me to wait forever?
Habibi: No Habibati. I promise you , the time will come very soon. Insya Allah.

*****************************************

At times, we just need to be alone.
We do have wonderful friends. However being with friends, sometimes make us miss our love ones more.
Sometimes we could feel jealous too.
And that hurts more than just being alone.

*****************************************

My graph is going down.
I MISS YOU.

I'm all set to dive....

I started dreaming about scuba diving right after my holidays in Semporna and Sipadan in 2003 (thanks to AirAsia it was only RM120 return trip). But then, since I was a very obedient wife, therefore it just stayed as a dream.

After 5 years, my dream is coming true. Soon.
But this time, not only am I diving for leisure, I might need to dive for work purposes too.

Alhamdulillah, now I am ready.

Thanks to Seademon for the continous advise and assistance....

Thank you Habibi for your continous support and understanding ;-) I LOVE YOU

Which one of these yummy guys....

It's Friday night and I'm all alone. Since Habibi is too busy and I am missing him like crazy, I need a temporary replacement. Hmm...who shall I dream of tonight?

Oh! Now that's a tough call for me.

All of them are yummy.....

Can I have all of 'em?Pleaseeee

Here in my home

I love this song. 1st time listening to it, I didn't think it was made locally. Really good.

The best part - my big boss also participated in making the video. He's the man!

Lipat baju? nanti dulu....

After 3 days, I cannot tahan anymore. I must write. I have less free time to relax on my sofa for the past few days. Now, I feel like writing.I must talk to my blog. Especially when Habibi is busy with his 'duties' and that makes me miss him like crazy. CRAZY!! I'm trying to distract myself here for a while.

This morning, me and a few colleagues went to visit our staff's accomodation somewhere in USJ. I thought it was a normal apartment - I was wrong!


We were welcomed by a pair of baby elephants.


The gym...hmmm...it has an open concept gym; faces the open area where the swimming pools and the children playground are.
The garden terraces - really, really nice and windy. It is suitable for organising functions. Especially at night. Maybe I could borrow this place to celebrate my birthday. (hint..hint...Habibi)
The swimming pool from 12th floor.

The masterbedroom and its attached bathroom. A colleague who is going to get married this Sept commented, " Wow! Can I have this place? I'm getting married soon". Well, I guess during the 1st 2 years of your marriage, it is still cool. Masuk 5 tahun? 10 tahun? All the 'shapes' changes. Silap haribulan by the 5th year you want the glass to be painted! Hehehe.....We had lunch at the cafe downstairs. Do they really call 'telur mata kerbau/lembu' as bulls eye ?

And remember this new home of mine?

CURRENTLY it looks like this:
I know, I know. I have to release my stress first before start folding my clothes. And all those other junks? They are going to dissapear by this Saturday evening because the contractor is going to install my new hallway and kitchen cabinets during the day! Yipppiiiee......And I can store the junks away..