to be honest

living alone is simply lonely.

lol. talking about the obvious.

but yeah, when i go to classes, i do meet my friends but then, when i returned home, there's no one but me alone.

only when it's the weekend, it feels lively, which requires a bit of effort to go somewhere with people i know, and spend time, no matter how trivial it is. or for some stupid reason, like i can't do my homework alone in my room, so i took the trains to go to the neighboring city.

i cleaned up the room after a while, yet i still can't find the lost wallet. and it still has 10 singapore dollar in it. well, thanks to my habit of spending every last yen i have in the wallet each time i shop. yeah, i went shopping again last week. an unplanned one as i only intended to only go to Ueno Zoo.

i managed to see giant panda for about 30 seconds.

the giant panda was behaving like a sloth.

just like how i'm feeling most of the time.

so, what i'm going to do this weekend?

Location:Saitama University, Saitama-shi, Saitama-ken

十夜

now it really is only 10 nights away.

if anyone ever watch ayashino ceres, you know what character i'm thinking about now.

ok, back to the main topic, it's unfortunate that i can't reunite with all 84 of us who are going. and some of them will live not so close that will allow me to always meet them. yes, i'm sad. my flight's gonna be the last one, in Saturday night of april 16th. a few classes gonna be skipped inevitably. but i don't think i can blame it on this if later i can't cope with the lessons, or can i?

and one funny thing when the person from ypm called to inform me on the matter yesterday, it was told also about our attire for the flight. not only they make us wearing suits as to make it so formal, but also black scarf. i ask him "really? black scarf? with black suits? are we attending japanese funeral?" (coz if it's funeral which i used to go, it's light-colored clothes, but for japanese, it's black. now, let's just hope none of the boys gonna turn up wearing black neckties)

perfect with the recent disaster where everyone's grieving, and we are showing we are too.

so, that's one thing settled, no need for me to go all anxious of when is it exactly i'm going. but i actually forgot about the flumpool's dvd and only get that thing settled today-the release day. it all boils down to luck now whether i could get the first-press edition or not though i badly want that one.

btw, yesterday was also the day when i think library is not exactly a bad  plain boring place after all. well, if you're going to the correct one. i guess i could spend my remaining week there in jfkl library, and it only lies next to the midvalley. i could finish a few manga series and some haruki murakami's novel without having to buy it. well, as much as i love kinokuniya for it's mountain of books i have interest in, i hate it when i splurge my money each time. 

as i've mentioned somewhere b4, my goal of at least a book month is somehow accomplished so far. well, it's april and i've finished 5 books until now this is excluding the loads of manga which can also considered books.   my favourite so far is definitely 'the curious incident of the dog in the night-time' by mark haddon. i always love when books are narrated in 1st person view. and as neil gaiman said it, unlike tv, words from the book are built into a world of your own, where you're one of the characters. it certainly holds true in a way. i also finished a book i bought a while back, 'Johnny and the bomb', terry pratchett still haven't failed to disappoint me in this one. and at kino, there's 25% discount for Randa Abdel Fattah's first book, well, i ended up reading her 2nd book-'Ten Things I Hate About Me'. all i was about to say is for the above 3 books, i love them!

and i got a feeling if there's any manga or movie i want to savour, now's the time. it'll be hectic once i reached nihon. well, i just wish i'll still be able to watch sakura in bloom. and i actually got a consolation word that in up north, sakura still blooms in May-and do i have time then??talking about movie, they're showing this in malaysia starting tomorrow-thanks to someone who reminded me of this. yeay, matsuyama kenichi in action-he's also in norwegian wood movie but i'm yet to watch that though it's been sitting in my external hard disk for a while now.

iro iro

yesterday, quite unplanned, i bought 2 more books

this morning, i finished reading one of them

i found out that i can easily finish books that are newly-bought. with probability of 1 to 2.

hopefully i'll start on that other book soon.

btw, for the one i just finished, i think i won't mind reading it again. i'll even consider bringing that along with me to the land of rising sun. this was my 3rd attempt of getting in haruki murakami's world. unlike the first two that i read, this one is non-fictional.

the content is just like what the title says. it's about running. actually just recently i was seriously thinking of starting getting my body in shape by the simplest means i can think of-jogging. and yesterday my meeting with this book is like fated, it's like saying to me, "don't let that thought be left only as thought realize it!"

and as for the rest of the book, it tells about the author himself how the very running influences him and his career. if i want to quote from the book, it's too much that are worthy to list here. it might not be an exaggeration if i say this book can be considered as a self-help book.

even more helping when i didn't have to buy at a hiking price it always is. for the first time i stepped into book xcess in amcorp mall, pj. if only i've gone there a lot earlier....

so, including that, my yesterday was great.

and it took a rollercoaster ride today. honestly, i feel very bad now. for several reasons i've yet to resolve.

even the thought that i'll be going to my dreamed nihon for real in only about 2 weeks from now doesn't make me feel better.

aargh

みんな、おつかれ！

specially dedicated to all my JAD nakama and all my friends wherever you are.



i'm gonna miss them~

so, what's next?

nihon?

actually there're quite a lot of stuff in prior to that. surely, we are now filled with ambivalent emotions. but for me at the moment, i'm plainly relieved that i'm finally spared from the hellish exam (yes, i use that word again)

today, aside from that final paper, a lot of stuff ran through my mind. i mean random stuff like what usually filled this head of mine. sometimes i find myself so vulnerable to any distraction when i'm the middle of something else because i tend to think to hard, it sometimes too tiring to do what i originally about to do by then. call me silly, but that's who i am. 

but one thing that attracted my attention was when i visited our university library in the morning to prepare before entering the exam hall. like any library do, books are what they contain and i can't help peeking my heads on the racks especially the japanese ones. here's where i discovered an interesting children's picture book. it's actually a simple story told in a simple way, yet it leaves quite an impression. a big one.

the title in english would be "What is it like?". if i were to tell about the content, it'll spoil everything for those who haven't read it yet. what i can say is you can hardly predict such a story it has here. it'll make you dumbfounded for a while and it'll strike something inside and leads you think further and deeper, it's visceral(yeay, i can finally use this word!). and it subtly highlights how imagination is truly a powerful tool-something we think we have perfectly known all along but tend to heedlessly forget when struggling to get through everyday lives. quite a brilliant work. aside from that, one of the prominent message might be about our perceptions towards the less-fortunate people. like in here, the emerging characters are people from this group whom most of us has little encounter with and very little thoughts about them. usually, most of us would only think about how pitiful they are and it only stops there, no more than that. the thing is if we care to take a little more time to delve deeper we'll discover more than we can ever think. thus, the gist of it all, THINK!

that exact theme reminds me so much of my Maou: Juvenile Remix manga. aahh, i really will reread them this holiday

seems like this post will still be longer from now on, exam's over after all.

so, once i finished reading about that, it's sharing session, right? my friends are as touched as me too with the picture book. and another stuff arises from there. from our limited japanese material, we came to our naive conclusion that japan's children books are indeed rich with such stuff, i mean something with human touch and goes deep rather than superficial and silly stories (is that really the case though?). well, based in our experience when we were young, that is. if i could recall, what i was exposed to was ladybird's 'peter and jane', or the malay stories would be 'pak pandir' or 'pak kaduk' or 'si kancil' renowned from old tales and stuff similar to that. later it goes to something more knowledge-based materials like figuring out how rain forms and stuff like that. i won't really say i did read encyclopedia even though it's lined up nicely on the rack which i only realized of their existence quite later, but i was attracted to animal stuff especially with stunning photos. oh yeah, i did once inspired to be photographer for national geographic.

that's all now still left as a dream far to be realized. and i'm now apparently treading on another kind of path.

probably this is only me who's oblivious to the true situation, but what i feel is that in my current society, we are so in a rush to reach such development where industry and economy are the vital core, hence we lack with people that focuses on the counterpart of it, the human part, to shape people into becoming people who care to think, not programmed robots. certainly there are those people but still, the former far outweighs the later thus the unbalance. okay, i'm in no position to say further, i'm no philosophical expert and my knowledge of the world might not be greater than that of 'katak bawah tempurung'. i can't analyse whatsoever and whatsoever with no data (hahaha, i actually said this, this is so science student?). here, what i mean is, i got a lot more to discover, the whole expanse of the world which takes more than a lifetime to figure out.

i'm looking forward to nihon.

what you give, you get back?

well, that phrase is kinda famous, isn't it? like 'what goes around comes around', something like that

i don't know if it's just me being paranoid, but if i'm harboring such feelings inside here right now towards others, it means likely i've made others felt the same way towards me before. so, i was quite a jerk, ain't i? and the funny thing is, when i'm expecting this much from others and can't help being intimidated at most times, there were people expecting much of me or be intimidated by me? hahaha, what a conceited thought that'll be for i am truly nothing to be proud of.

why is it so hard to be honest? why is it so difficult to overcome that fear? the fear to confront the averse truth that are preferably not to be known. or, is it only mere presumptions? nevertheless, unsettledness never ceases.

what it takes is only a tip of courage-the very thing that's absent at the moment it's needed the most

日本に行く前に、しておきたいこと

今日、日本研究の授業でそんなことが持ち出された。

まあ、日本に行く予定は後数週間だもんね。砂時計もう動いた。

さて、何しよう？

まず、旅行！もう二十年マレーシアにいるのに、いろいろのところまだ行ってないし、近いといっても時間とかお金とかのことで、行く機会がなくて。せっかくだから、できるだけ行きたいな。次は私は今一番行きたいところ：

KLCC Bridge
Kuala Selangor Firefly Sanctuary
I-City
Aquaria(もう行ったけど、また行きたい)
Langkawi(本当の旅行の意味でね、前は学校のことで2年も住んでいたけどあまり満喫できなかった)

そして、読みかけた小説を全部読み終わりたい。きついかな？多いんだもん。

ああ、まだやりたいものもあるけど、今に限って頭から出ないな。

私のJADの仲間の皆さんはどう？

やりたいものやれますように～


p/s: 今、フランプールのことすごい夢中になって、新しいアルバムが待ち遠しなあ。

CRIB

well, certainly not the MTV CRIBS though i really wish i have a home like those featured in that.

and also not the crib they use to put the babies in to make them sleep.

it's just a word i'm particularly interested after recently discovering the use of it. it's a hospital term which stands for 'Complete Rest In Bed'. somehow it's cute seeing the close similarity to its literal meaning. isn't it?

so, updating with my current life, after i received the great news the other day, a quite-not-so-good news followed. i got a call informing that my father was in an car accident. a head-on collision which results with two wrecked cars, causing a few casualties. as there was a death involved, thankfully my dad is among those who survived. and as of now, he's still hospitalized for the injuries are yet to heal. thus, my discovery of the above mentioned term.

hopefully, his recovery will progress smoothly. thanks for a lot of people who gives their concern.

so, i just have to continue on with my life which means i have to be more serious towards studying? oh,how i've been slacking off a whole lot recently, and without me realizing it, it's gonna be the final exam so soon. and now, i DO worry. unlike before where it's others who did the worrying for me.

but as my senior advised, "don't be panic"

okay, after all, to be calm is important in such circumstance. breathe in....breath out............
i need more flumpool input.



-3 months to go-

alhamdulillah

certainly, i'm in a very good mood at the moment compared to the other times i always wrote down any entry here

happy to not even care whether the sentence i structured makes sense or not

just today, i got a lot of stimuli that affect how am i feeling now

like how i discovered, someone from my old school, the same grade as me is actually getting married so soon!!

that really caught me unguarded

or after a long while i haven't so into korean drama, today i got stuck at one and can't help laughing

and laugh, and laugh

or finished yet another book i've been looking forward for quite some time, terry pratchett never fails to make such stories that will make me hooked and amazed. and even better i love that touch he did at the ending of  'I Shall Wear Midnight'. that was simple yet sooo sweet, and it's not even a love story but it just perfectly ends well. yosh, i could embark on the next book now. call it seasonal or whatever, i'm simply enjoying it!

but, what tops the list for the day definitely the one that put me is sooo much relief after a long while of anxiousness and anticipation. i got accepted!!!!! just received the acceptance letter in my hand in the afternoon, and never thought the documents included would be that much, well, that's what i gotta do from now on.

i gotta thank a lot of people for this.

i wonder if getting this kind of news can make someone so happy, how about all the other things that are much more than this? no wonder they can coin the word 'on cloud nine' which i used to think senseless at one time. what a good thing to be happy, i wish everyone can be happy too!! it fills your heart with delight you can't help but to beam a smile so sincere without ever having to strain it or feign it in any way. cheers!

やる気、上がれ！！

yosh, it's now the battle for the interview, yet while the person beside me is preparing for that sake, i'm still sticked here... like izaan said, there's one week more, no worry :P

so here, i'd like to share a quote i found somewhere, it's originally from a book which title i no longer could recall correctly.


You don’t quit practicing because you suck, you suck because you quit practicing. 


You don’t play because you’re good. You’re good because you play. 


You don’t run because you’re good at running, you’re good at running because you run.

somehow, recently it occurs upon me that actually all the bitter feelings/experiences/recollections i gathered so far were actually a valuable treasure. though many people prefer to eradicate those unpleasant things, it's because of the very existence of those that we mature and learn how to appreciate.

coz, i can never be good when i never do it, right? let alone be marvellous like how i perfectly won't mind being one.

so, from now on, no fear! (while inside i still shudder)

ya Allah, please assist me in all of what i do, grant me wisdom, grant me perseverance. i need nothing more than your blessings throughout my life. keep me safe and sound, and so my family and my dearest ones. keep our hearts clean from any evil, forever devoted only to you.

sleepyhead

i don't know why, but since the new sem started, i felt as if i've turned so much older, i mean by stamina. i easily feel tired and there must be a day in a week (excluding the weekends) where i can't escape from stay tied on the bed for almost 12 hours. and it's weekdays we're talking about here.

and that still doesn't cut short the amount of sleep i never intended to have during class.

at times like these, people will say, you lack exercise!

and i cringe at the whole truthfulness of it...

but what bothers me more than the above is how i can easily be in a dream. or what i thought is a dream. perhaps it's only my mind flying off somewhere else especially when this occurs in the middle of a class, but what i'm sure is, it's tiring! the purpose of getting sleep is to get rest, yet what you get after sleep is getting even more tired.

and even more frustrating is i can't recall what the dream was about. perhaps, some of the fragments are still left in the memories but it only last for seconds the moment you wake up, and suddenly it vanishes into thin air. at lucky times, i could remember one or two characters in the dream though.

and recently i just noticed how the book i'm currently read affects the dream i have. the other day when i read a short story about vomiting, i had this dream in which i feel so nauseous and somehow it linked to how i actually vomited all what i ate the previous night. stupid, right? but that really made me fell unwell for a few days. and i just finished reading a novel about indian society, and i dreamed something very related to it. i told ya, i can't remember my dream, but only the feelings linger which i can't easily grasp or properly translate into words.

talking about books, lately i'm so hooked to them, perhaps it's a seasonal thing, but it still puts me in such delight for the fact i actually finished 3 novel in only a few weeks just recently. they indeed had jumped in the queue as i'm still in the middle of reading 'children' currently. yosh, i'll finish that too soon! and when i feel like it, perhaps i'll review that a bit. well, i'm eager to finish it coz i'm looking forward to read another book (or more exciting, buy it for myself) which i had once leafed through a few pages of it some time ago in the bookstore-a novel told from the eyes of a cat. it's a classic work i guess and reading it in its original language is ever more tempting...



this reminds me when we were having our SPM exam week where others were cooping themselves with textbooks and kept leafing through their notes, i jauntily read a few novels i divulged from my buddies' room which i found just to my liking.yes, this only means i'm actually in a period where apparently we're very busy....

p/s: only about 2 weeks b4 the interview for the universities, zenbu umaku ikimasu you ni~

how should i organize?

ok, currently there's quite a few things running at my mind that are only waiting to be flowing out through the tips of my fingers. i don't know where should i start or where should i end. this is something that occurs so often i guess that explains why i rarely get to have any entry done. a muchakucha entry would be useless, won't it?

ok, we start with stuff related to words and books.

after finished with 'ahiru to kamo no coin locker' the other day, i embarked on my second challenge with isaka kotaro's work. this time it's a compilation of short stories-Children. nevertheless, when i've gone a part through it, i discover those stories are somehow related to each other. and for this book, i just found how i really enjoy reading his narration, possibly owing to the first person view that he adopts which enables the reader feels like actually participating in the story. and while still unfinished, i got attracted to another novel. this time, it's haruki murakami-the translated one. well, quite a famous name but i haven't got the chance to read his yet-aside from reading a few pages from bookstore some time before. so, when mph made a promotion of 20% off on any book for this weekend, i got myself one-The Wind-up Bird Chronicle. not surprisingly, it's the same 1st person view. perhaps most japanese authors just love this style. not for me to comment coz i've only read a few works from them. back to the novel i just bought, based on the first few pages, it proves to be interesting. this would make my desire to get his original work-as always with the excuse of improving my nihongo-grows stronger. only wish my financial state will grow as strong though.

there adds another book waiting to be read.

and actually, recently i was itching to write about how i can be so disturbed with language error-be it spelling or grammar. it's the same for english or bahasa melayu. i mean, it is understandable if it sometimes inevitably occurs due to carelessness, but then if it does happen so often in a text, it almost seems that the person who wrote it just doesn't care. i mean, supposedly they have learned for nearly a lifetime and you still don't get the sense of the correct conduct of the language? don't you feel it's quite impolite to the readers who are giving their attention. indeed, i might not be in my place to say anything coz i can't escape making errors too, but i do give my effort into reviewing what i already wrote and check for any error. that way, i can curb them down as many as i could in the future by studying the pattern where i do have mistake the most.

and also i hate it when i want to recall a word and it just would not resurface. i've been stuck with this one particular word describing what i feel like the above. urgh, just what's that word?

btw, the btn we went through during the past week was ok. i did learn something, or more correctly my opinion from before is strengthened. i couldn't say much coz "we are not to reach a conclusion before we manage to grasp the situation from every angles and aspects available". in short, for what i know at the moment is certainly not sufficient enough to allow me to have my say. it won't be fair for any persons/entities involved as i could easily overlook them. for what is true and what is wrong and what i want to believe in requires my effort to understand them in full depth. any people in the world are capable of manipulating others for their own interest, so for not being a victim, no matter how much hassle it cost us, 'to think' is indispensable. so, when i am still and silent, it's not that i do not care like a sloth, it's solely because i haven't yet gotten past the 'thinking' stage.

but then, thinking is so mendoukusai, ne?

well, that is more the case when you got more enjoyable thing to get your mind so engrossed. i can't deny the fact i've passed a bit the gate of obsession when it comes to my favourite music. as the name suggests, entertainment does entertain!

and so finally, tomorrow school starts. yosh, another one semester left to be endured!!

random

it's still dark out there, i'm writing this on half past 6 in the morning

yesterday, instead of getting my shower in the bathroom, i took mine under the rain

am so excited to get past half of the book i'm reading now. Has-sensei, owari made ganbarimasuyo!

my Weaver fever just ran up so high after discovering a fan community for them
oooh, kawabe, i really want to see you doing live performance in front of my eyes

and making a new friend who's solely responsible for making me so drunk on Weaver

am so so excited to wait for my copy of their album!! aah, the PV of 'Kanseitou' is ever making me more impatient~

and a current update on kazuki's translated blog really made up my morning!

i dunno know for how many times i keep playing Kimi no Todoke video, oh ryuuta, you really make me melt

i just started rereading Maou Juvenile Remix manga. quite surprised to see how fast i can read it now compared to when i bought those nearly half a year ago, yes, go iman!

currently trying to list up the goi that's apparently going to be beneficial for us who's taking JLPT lvl 1 (it's called N1 now?) thanks for those who's cooperating, i appreciate it! and i'm still open for those who's want to offer their help in this too

kinda regret for leaving flumpool fourbond at shah alam. otherwise, i could flail while reading it. haven't read the latter half yet.

just so pissed off with the internet at this house. is what my dad says true that in very near future we're using fibre optic? he says it's the yellow line i can see on the telekom wireline by the road. i want to believe it but i dunno.... please spare me from this so-infuriating-internet speed.

and wimax does not really alleviate my irritation as it only have fast speed for a few days every month before reverting back to its usual snail-pace

which explains why till now i haven't watched Hotaru no Hikari episode 9

oh Buchouu, i miss you~~~~~

facebook recently is getting annoying, what's with all the hype regarding it? and how more people are just tagging hari raya cards instead of personally sending it. even sms are better, at least there's still that personal feeling as in "to ....."

but then, facebook is my second most frequented website.

and i actually found empty hari raya cards while doing spring cleaning the other day. but then i don't know where my mom put those. zannen~

and really happy to receive one all the way from nihon. thanks a lot Aqilah-senpai!! it's beside this notebook now.

am relieved my dad doesn't seem yet to get obsessed of making ketupat for this Raya. or else i have to weave them like usual. well, i don't care if i only have to do 5 of them but when it comes to 50, iya da!!

i dunno why but the Raya mode just hasn't yet dawned on me. oh, is it tomorrow? i'm screwed, haven't packed my bag yet. thankfully we're only going back to johor until sunday.

my brother is bugging (is this the right word in this case?) me as for what we would do next one week we got free coz my dad's working. i just hope my mom won't be in the way of us enjoying this duration as we like.

on this 18th, it's open house at Farah's house, really looking forward to this, please let me go!

and so much of my friends are already leaving Malaysia. it's okay iman, only half a year left......

and oh yeah, after that, definitely i'll go watch Flumpool and Weaver!!! if only they know how they got such a huge fan out here always waiting for the day to watch them live or even to get to know them personally. they're amazing people (at least, in my eyes), that's why. also among the reasons i'm so eager learning nihongo every single day and why i thrived through everyday though engineering in japanese is just so damn tough (sorry, is that foul word?)

when i finish writing this, it's still quite dark outside. when i edited it, it's already (gosh, i forgot what's the antonym for dark!) ok, numerically, it's already 7.

spring cleaning

is what i'm expected to do this holiday.

and as anyone knows, i'm such a person who just don't bother much with cleaning though i don't appreciate my place to be dirty, but i don't see much points in getting myself tired from arranging stuff and so on, in short to be so damn neat. people might say it's all cluttered but as long as i know where my stuffs are, that's enough. urm, can't deny i always forget where i put my belongings-forgetful me.

well, the point here is, the raya holiday has started!!

and it's 2-weeks (yeaaa, for JAD students, u perfectly know why this is such a heavenly thing). and because my dad does not take so much extra days off for this raya, i actually got about a week with nothing to do (but unfortunately only my dad is working for next week which left me and my mom at home, and ammar in this case).

so, what i already has in my head is the following:

-of coz, raya is a time to eat delicious stuffs
-visiting friends' houses that are nearby-i could ask for someone's help in this
-finishing the novel i borrowed from has-sensei (already halfway now :D)
-typing down the kotoba for 1kyuu preparation and gathering as much help to get this project take off
-start working on the math exercises given by ueno-sensei for saitama daigaku written exam

-learn to cook a dish at least??

ok, i should not set my goals too much or it'll only be unaccomplished like how it often did before.


and, no matter how many times i watched flumpool's latest pv, ryuuta never fails to mesmerize me, aaahhh~

君に届けたい～～

the expression by this boy is priceless

different clocks

for me, the 5-day-off starts today~ well, not actually i can be fully relieved, they won't leave us without any homeworks and reports, and on top of that, after the holiday's over, i would have an exam for a subject i've yet to know exactly what it is about. okay, i'm working on that.

so, for the first day of this holiday, i originally intended to have iftar with my housemates somewhere out but due to some misunderstanding in my part, i eventually ended up following my parents to my grandma's place. thanks to the ride, i get more than enough sleep. at this moment, it's 12 midnight rite now and i'm awake in front of this comp.

but somehow, despite having adequate sleep during the day, i'm actually kinda sleepy. normally it's the high time now, with all the louds and noise at the utility room with my friends, sometimes playing games together. but here, it's a 180 degree change. everything's so quiet. everyone's already asleep. even the creaking sound of the fan is somewhat deafening. unlike all the young bloods i often mingle in, clearly old folks just have a different clock. perhaps this is just how they have their leisurely pace, early night and early morning and whatever come after.

calm and serene?

well, i might just imagine how i would spend my old days, relaxed and away from the hustle and bustle of the life i'm used to now.

yeah, let this environment give a push inside myself, a revitalization and a boost to give more effort into what i'm doing now. kakougaku, please be friendly to me from now on! and oh, the idea of having to learn thermodynamics in 2 weeks after eid holiday is a bit frightening, but i'll just do my best! let eveything go smoothly, amin~~

satiated

one of the things that ramadhan teaches you is gratitude.

somehow when you are so blessed with such a comfortable environment, all of the things that come along are taken for granted, thus we forget, and sought for more.

and more and more.

until you learn that what you actually need is nothing more but that little of something. and then you realize, by far you've deceived yourself for getting the surplus in order to satisfy yourself, oh what a waste when there's always somebody else who are deprived of all those and would be more than delighted to have it. when was the last time i feel satiated with food so simple and only a handful of it? (gosh, how gluttonous i was). and it does indeed make me happy.

Alhamdulillah~

and to look around, i can't deny the existence of all those things that would let me down every now and then, but there's also things that can paint up the smile on my face and also put my heart in felicity. to be glad to actually be alive. and it's all thanks to Him. He's the one giving life in each of us and the whole complete world we're living in. even when facing all those challenges, it's inevitable to be exhausted, but you can always know you're doing this for a reason and your final destination. nevertheless, for our heart is a delicate thing yet it's easy enough to be pleased by things of our fancy, He has scattered all those around very beautifully. you just can't escape the admiration and to be brimmed with sheer gratefulness.

Subhanallah~

thank you Allah, i'm happy and blissed~

p/s: the last 2 weeks of 'nihon keizai to keiei' class was so enjoyable and kept my heart leaping undoubtedly. i know i can make it through the other ordeals be it the 3 weeks of an apparently mind-boggling and mentally tormenting class, iman, ganbare!!

and retrospectively, JAD is not actually that bad after all, anyone agree? 

to walk and to shop

too tired to write anything....

have spent approx more than a month worth of scholarship

the joy of shopping is irresistible, though it comes together with sore feet.


and today, the urge to shop managed to suppress itself when i get myself too exhausted after trying to be on balance on the impossible two thin slice of metals under my feet on the so-very-not-smooth ice rink. now, that's what we call exercise. but at that moment, i miss my time with the companion i went with the last time i attempted ice-skating, Hide-kun, tasukete~~ however, skating made me realize something. the sheer strenuousness you have to persevere along the way and the patience that just might burst at any time whilst seeing own self so helpless and so slow in catching up with the rest, it all just feel familiar. yeah, just like when struggling in my studies. but i know i just have to go on, no matter how arduous it is. nevertheless, this pathetic self always weakly succumb to pain and give up every once in a while. sometimes i just feel so sorry for myself.

iman, ganbatte.

ちょっと、話変わったけど、結果は何でも、覚悟してね。


absolutely gotta thanks syara for the last few days, it was exciting!

different person, different taste

yes, now the exam's over, i felt like such an extremely huge load off my back.... i'm alive!

just the other day, we bumped into a situation where a lost squirrel got trapped in our house and freaked every each member of the house. and guess what, we live in 10th floor and there's no sign of any trees around up above there. and after numerous shouts and screams, the matter was safely resolved where it involved the owner of the mentioned creature himself and some unexpected reward. and what spiced it up was that they actually got heated up over the concerned man. well, at the beginning, i was left clueless but to see my housemates all excited. i didn't get to see the man at first but from what i heard, he's just good-looking-the reason they were all hyped up.

and at the end of the squirrel ordeal, i did manage to see him once. and.... more than being mesmerized by him, to see that in fact, me and housemates just have our own definitions in finding things fancy is enough to intrigue me. okay, eventually i just say he's like any other guy who i would just pass by without thinking of stealing a glance. well, obviously different case for my dearie housemates. but today, i guess things might just be the other way round.

i watched 'inception'.

not the first time, but today i'm captured by a figure i see on screen. and he never once escaped my sight throughout the movie. it's the 'arthur' character played by joseph gordon levitt. for this one, i'm sure the other girls in my house would just say, "nothing much" but it still can't avoid me from admiring how good looking this guy, especially when i notice so much of a resemblance between him and my adored japanese actor-kubozuka yosuke. of coz, not fully when one is japanese while the other is american. oh yea, i love those eyes. and if only levitt have the same kind of voice as kubozuka, i'm perfectly melted. nevertheless, i can assure the aura they exude off while on screen are equally captivating.

 

just some random pictures i found on net. undeniably the looks my eyes would stuck on

oh, 'the sorcerer's apprentice' was not bad too. at least it kept me awake despite being a midnight movie

hisashiburi ne?

contrary to what i thought, this time, i ended up deserting my blog for this exam period.

okay


-not entirely okay-

but i anticipate a thing that would put me in so much bliss. i guess that would compensate the grief due to the exam. and natsuki-chan was really cute~~ little do i regret going to bon odori too this year amidst this vital time.

korekaramo ganbarimasu!!!

really want to munch on subway at the moment

Onychophagia

not like i know how to pronounce that word.

what i know is that i've succumbed to it long before than i could remember.

thanks to it, my nails are always short. in fact verry short.

okay, enough of wiki read for today.



less than a week away before my sem exam start. i'm praying everyone could deliver their best, i'm hoping we all could pull it off together with if not astounding, at least results we can at least proud of.

despite the pressuring time-span.




yes, actually panic attacks. again.

but yet, what i'm hoping here is some coincidence so trivial to the most important matter at the moment.

イマン、勉強しなさい！！

p/s: shin-chan, is saitama that nice?