genkidashite~

indeed, today's paper was extremely interesting...........
interpret it anyway u want

but then, i came into this; rather than i'm brooding on what happened and worrying for its outcome, it's better if i just enjoy as much as i can until the day that i should be really sad... rite?

if i'm feeling down from now, and continue to surely be sad later, that just doubles my misery. however, if i just cheer up as if nothing happened, i'm spared from that multiple abyss...

smile and laugh

look forward for my happy2 thingy...

yeaaa, my awaited dvd will come its way here a month from now <---this one excites me so much

and also my trip to langkawi this weekend~~~~~~~~

\(^_^)/

minna, ganbarou!!

rm51 worth of origami

ambivalent emotions - that's what i experience for today, in less than 12 hours

to put it chronologically, it'll be as follows : excited, guilty, dejected, clueless, surprised, delighted

for excited and guilty, followed by dejected, all came from the same cause... quite accidentally i watched a drama, breaching my own promise to myself. excited because naohito fujiki is so hot and the character he brought is soo damn full of suspense. obviously guilty for watching it 4 episodes straight despite it was exam night. dejected for not able to resist myself to this temptation.

clueless a bit during exam though i've read it many times over. perhaps, it's because lack of sleep. hmm, dejected again.

surprised when my sensei announced it's purely holiday till wedenesday for 5 days.

another biggggg surprise when i withdraw my money from the ATM. not only coz i can't withdraw RM10, the one appeared was something i didn't recognize. catching a slight glimpse, i was like "ehhhhh, how come, indonesian note all of a sudden" but then, it really was RM50. ohhh, new ones has been issued, is it? shiranakatta.

my impression, i like the former one better, looks more sophisticated.

oh, and delighted, the note has now turned out like this!

otanjoubi omedetou~~

first of all, i would like to wish my beloved roommate 'happy birthday!!' though i doubt she ever read this blog... hahaha

well, last nite was a blast.... sorry if we cause overwhelming noise to our neighborhood. whatever it is, i'm happy that the birthday girl is sooo much pleased...

back to my exam which is still running, i guess it's quite sad it went like i how i want it least to be. perhaps it's just like they say, ur mind determines much of the things revolving you. when i think everything negative, they really do turn out negative... so, my negative self, could you please make ur way out? talking craps here

mentioning about crap, i believe what my head contains are pretty much ....( i dun exactly want to call them crap but) let's just say unbeneficial (is this the right word?) stuff. even in the middle of exam where i would be half conscious at times, my mind would start visualising things that i've taken a great liking to but probably stuff that i am not supposed to even think at the time. facing the exam paper, in my head there also reverbrates a song non-stop, ones in my regular playlist, if only it was nasyeed/quran, i'd feel better too...

so, i don't put high hopes or anticipate anything during this exam. i pretty much play than study... i admit that, yes, my own fault, no need to remind me on that.


but, today i somehow feel down due to some reasons. not because of these arduous exams, it's something else. when i reflect myself, i sometimes wonder, do i impose myself so much, if i do, how can i know it? i don't intend to make others uncomfortable, let alone to make them unhappy. i may seem selfish when thinking i don't want to be hated by others but is it only my feeling or...? it's so painful to only keep it down here, to blurt it out seems so difficult, so now i'm grateful that blogs are created... (somehow, i feel so pathetic) but i'm just soo not good in words. gomen. everyone, sumimasen

the uneaten rm11 unagi don

yes, as mentioned before, today there was bon odori! at panasonic stadium... this time, i really gotta properly thank my only brother for today. he kindly brought us (me and 2 friends of mine) there though i was late a bit.. i guess that really gave me a lesson for being late. we actually had to park our car soooooo far from the venue and to walk between the two place was just &%^$#. (let's just assume i'm short on vocab)

anyhow, we were there safely. i was so keen on eating whatever delicious stuff they have that i had no chance to eat last year. as expected, when we arrived, it was 6 and there was already sea of people crowding the place. as for me, who is a bit anti with these type of place, i guess there was no choice but to just endure it.

so, then, my so-good-brother only brought so little money with him but thanks eli, you covered on my part.

then we parted.

alone, i'm wandering, the unagi don in my hand along with the uchiwa and a bottle of juice. alhamdulillah, as i wanted, i managed to meet my senseis!! well, they do dress up for this event, love seeing them wearing yukata.... but it was a bit unfortunate that not all of the sensei could make their way here. but i guess i'm lucky enough to have this chance to meet whoever was present, i tell you, they are way prettier on such occasion.

with Utsumi-sensei and Ishibashi-sensei (i wonder just why they are still unmarried with such beauty.

a nice shot by my kouhai. kuga-sensei is in such a splendid pose.

but after all, they deserve the title of 'model japanese family' -i didn't get a very nice shot though-

and isn't kouki-kun just soo adorable. however, if he resembles his father in term of attitude, i can't imagine just how much girls he would attract later


and not to forget, one of the happiest thing is that i could meet fatin too!! though it was just momentary, but compared to the speech contest, we hardly got to speak to each other. hmm, just when i thought she would come with yukata on....

and back to my main purpose coming here-the food. it all scattered away and thrown down the bin. some unfortunate thing happened when the container fell with the contents out.... i haven't even get the slightest taste of it yet, but there's nothing i could do but to brood about it. and i specially skip my lunch for this..........

jaaa, benkyou?

sin, log and matrices...

this might be trivial, but the fact is i used to love math very much, how i could find it easy to comprehend and sometimes challenging

so, today, it has been a while that this self is fully engrossed in the world of math again, or specifically, the area which is the range of our exam tomorrow... hmm, sin, log, bibun sekibun (differentiation-integration), matrices-this one's linear algebra or so it's called i think.....

surprisingly but somehow expected, it took me sooooooo long today to just solve a simple problem and the ones that follow... oh my, now i think this head has become slow after so long... now that i feel some kind of remorse for being such a lazy bum, never bother to practise... of coz that'll be hard, ne? okay, after this, dun forget to practise regularly, okay?? (let's just see how this will really be happening or not :P)

alhamdulillah, i guess, to sink again in these numbers make me lively again, instead of hating them each time i'm stuck... and thanks sensei, i can't help but to think you are so adorable... hahaha


jaa, i only could see how i've improved after hours of practice in this last-minute basis.... tomorrow will be the day (i dun want to be disappointed again with what-supposed-to-be-my-favourite-subject)... and also, tomorrow i have more reason to cheer up. yes, tomorrow's the bon odori at panasonic stadium! takoyaki, unagi, cute balloon, here i come!! not to forget, i'd love seeing our teacher in their lovely yukata~~~

and possibly some durians are coming too........ this one, i'm greatly in love~

forget my misery today, looking forward to tomorrow (the song tomorrow from 'annie' reverbrating far in my head)

while i know i'll feel so bad later

dun mind anything, this entry is still posted despite the circumstance where i shouldn't even be thinking of getting near my beloved notebook, but still i do

well, i guess it's all in the mind. currently i feel so down coz tomorrow is the paper which subject i really a have a problem in. approximately, of the whole class we had, my understanding only covers 35% of it, and my mastery is even lower than that. owing to that, of course i'm panicking now. tachibana-sensei, i'm sorry....

but, when i think again, panicking won't do me anything. it's just panic.

so, i went to cheer myself up by getting a lot of flumpool inputs. well, that surely bring a lot of smiles onto my face.oh my, i can't help but getting myself adoring them more and more. never thought i would be such a staunch fan. hmmm, fangirling again.... (izzati, u understand me the most in this matter). however, when watching this one interview on them, i feel kinda sad for not being able to fully understand the whole heated up conversation. i guess i should work out more on my nihongo. mada mada dakara naa...

oh, and today, i actually learnt a lesson: trust your first instinct! dun copy others!

hahaha, i actually copied my friend's answer after being so inconfident with mine. if only i could trust myself more. it turned out that all my copied answers are wrong while the unwritten answers, floating in my head are actually the correct ones.

so, no copying again, ok! honestly, this is one of my rare cases of copying........

jaa, i guess i better get going and keep my spirit up. there are only few hours remaining that i could use to actually get as much as i can to cram in my head and vomit it out tomorrow on the answer sheet....

ya allah, please, at least let me pass this paper.. as for the other subjects, give me strength, more than ever before, i really need those now.........

bisu

yes, i know i'm not exactly in a circumstance where i should waste my time idling away or posting a blog entry, but let's just treat this as a momentary retreat....

so, today, my exam has started

and that was probably not a good start at all

i guess, my experiment on the effectiveness of last-minute-study didn't end with a good outcome. well, i've predicted that somehow. whatever it is, i have one subject cleared off my mind right now, that i'm so thankful....

for now, i'm so inconfident with my 'information processing' paper which is just the day after tomorrow. oh please, just what can i do in this remaining time to make all the complicated contents etched into my head?? ok i got another more worrying subjects too which are just days away while no revising has been done at all..... i admit, i'm a lousy time manager......

hmm, now i feel like calling someone, venting my stress away


but then, yesterday, my phone went mute ___________

good timing
@)%(&#Q*()^

..........ya allah, mudahkanlah urusanku di dunia dan di akhirat.........

oh yea, if the rain could clear up the current haze in the atmosphere, what could clear up the haze in my head?

ashita?

iyoiyo, shiken da ne.........

my study plan for last minute study, 2 days b4 exam didn't exactly go like i planned... too many distractions, too many temptations

couldn't even complete the few questions on ch4 of information processing.... so aside from studying all day, what i managed to slip in between was:

-reading manga: a chapter each for 5 different series
-snacking a lottt : half a big bar of chocolate, kerepek bwg, apple
-reading ppl's blogs (of coz flumpool's the top of the list)
-surfing livejournal for a while
-searching for radwimps songs from their latest album
-surfing on youtube
-folding origami
-skipping (only managed to get 87 as the best for today)
-enjoying dinner for more than half an hour
-writing in entry for the blog..........

so, today, i hope i'll have a smooth day....... no cursings or whatever, to everyone, i'm sorry if i've ever offended you, might be i never meant to do that...........

at the verge of .........

!%#@$^#%&^%$@&$%*^&^^&*%^&$*^#&%^$^&#$@$%&*^&%^&%^$#

okay, it's just that i don't intend to curse orally so i typed it down instead... i know cursings not good but it's like some kind of reflex made my civilised homo sapien whenever encountering a situation not in his/her favour

that's what exactly happened to me to day.

the winds are just not in my way... and the most frustrating thing is i could not blame no one....

it's excruciating when you had no one to push the blame to, it's hard to contain all inside.......

a friend of mine had given a speech noting whenever you are sad, you should try to laugh instead of crying

again, i rise this question, what if you are extremely mad, irritated and frustrated??

even if i carve a slight curve up here, the heart down here just doesn't agree....

current state of mind: unstable

ya allah, please ease this soul..........

arini

hehehe, arini, jgn perasan, the above title is not after your name, it is about TODAY...

it's unusual for me to just write in entry for the event of the one specific day, but well, today, there has been a lot that happened

QTI

WEDDING

DURIAN

may i curse a bit? it was such a ^&#$%# moment when i had to wait for more than an hour for the instructor from my driving class to pick me up this morning. if he already intended to pick me at 9, just say so, dun tell me he'll come at 8. indeed, it was true there was cases where i did make him wait for me b4, but i didn't say the wrong time, it's just me who was late and it had not even passed an hour.
moral: if u're irritated by waiting, dun make the other party wait for you instead the next time u meet with reason like payback or whatever. it'll just make the situation worse.

and more @%&#%^*& when suddenly he just decided i was to do the QTI today after all these while i haven't been practising. so as expected, of course i couldn't pass it....

and for the wedding which i attended after that, i got a feeling, somehow i feel like wedding is such a nuisance. oh man, bad me.... okay, at least i'm happy for the bride and the groom to have such a splendour event to celebrate their day. but i guess it was just too affluent to an extent where i think too many frills make it meaningless? i dunno, again, my bad here. perhaps, it's because of me who just didn't quite involved and am not lucky enough to catch on the spirit. or because of the food that didn't quite satisfy me. whatever.

i also got a feeling, if what we wear to class everyday is normal, then attire worn to wedding is nothing anymore. hahaha... well, we the girls do wear baju kurung(the showy and dandy) to class, and so the guys who wear shirts, the smart ones. the only difference is that they have tie during class, so, it's the same when going to wedding.

or, is it justt, we are really 'oshare' everyday?

oh, and finally my craving is satiated, a bit. i got to indulge in some durian, the kampung one, little flesh and big seed. ok, it's just that i love durian. so everyone, happy eating durian!

and, yeah, happy studying!!

me and internet

well, it did make me relieved when they say the termination of our internet service was cancelled

however, i guess, as much as it entertained me to the max, it affects as much on my studying part... the negative direction i mean.....

so, should i try to keep my distance?



but first of all, can i ever imagine my life void of it?? doukanaa..

source: http://xkcd.com/



btw, the following picture currently adorns my desktop background... nice isn't it? my previous 'nihon ni ikou' motivation booster japan map has become something more spirit-burning to me as these faces stare at me and say "u gotta study or u can't go to nihon to watch us live!" nantoka

misprocessing

when i look back at the past weeks, i'm at the most grumpiest on the day when there is 'information processing' class...

i can hardly describe it, but whenever i have to face that lesson, i'll be so irritated, or simply my mood goes bad... it's not because i hate the subject, it's because i'm always so lost, i hate, i abhor myself for being that way...

ok enough, if this goes on, i wonder how nasty i'll be and for goodness sake, the class already comes to its end for this term.... and i wonder how i will cram all those things i yet to understand in merely a week before sitting for the exam of this subject's paper next friday..... nantoka suru kanaa.... please, let me at least pass it.........

and tachibana-sensei, though i sleep more often than not in your class, i still love being your student. u're one of the most animated teachers i've ever had who teach with full enthuasism and energy.... sumimasenne, utoutoshitari,nechattari shite..... wish u all the best after this with your work in nihon

so, informations, will u guys be friendly with me and let me comprehend all of you more easily..... for a few days to come, my days will be intertwined with logic gates, flip-flops, counters, IC, boolean, binary, matlab(another thing which i accidentally curse a lot regarding it).........

JAD no nakama no minna-sama, isshoni ganbarou!!!!!!! kimatsu shiken no kabe wo koeyou!! nihon ni ikou!!!!!!

.......which reminds me of the university fair which will be held this friday, oh my, now i have another heavy stuff to be thought about in this brain which is already in a mess.... dareka tasukete!!!!!!!

ohisashiburi, petaling street

recently, i don't know how many times i've stepped into klcc.

but then again, today i went there. (umm, this post is first written last sunday and was suspended until now)

well, unlike usual, i'm not wandering alone. today, it was sort of like a small reunion of us, the bwps of which only half turned up. it has been a long since we had a chance like this to get together,indeed it was fun. quite a lot of stories we were stuffed with. everyone's now separated and lead our own lives, so to get an insight to each of our lives is tantalizing. like how the IB students are having such a tough time, or studying so far away at russia or being the only muslim girl in a course. in short, it was enjoyable. however, it was only for a short while. really short for a cirsumstance like these where you could reminisce the good old days other than feeding the others with the latest updates. perhaps, we only got together for about an hour or so. but i guess, it's already meaningful enough each of us has already make our way there to meet each other. for niro, do your best in the US later. i wish all the best from here.

so, what i did after that was watching TRANSFORMERS!!! as expected, it was awesome!!!!!! subarashii!! sugoi!!! and i'm glad i'm watching it in malaysia. i could laugh all i want. indeed, it was funny at many parts. it's so hard to just watch it without getting at least chuckles. the jokes though sometimes a bit dirty but generally it's amusing. or even a simple scene where you would find it very funny and could not stand to laugh. so, i guess people who dun lagh just dun understand it-the story. dakara, minna-san, mitainara, zehi mitekudasai.



out from the glamourous air of the klcc, i later went to petaling street. on my own.

it's been years....

umm, no change?

but thankfully i found wht i want +some other things unplanned. and also lose my just-reloaded touchngo card.



if tourist ask me what's special about petaling street, i doubt i could answer straightaway...........

感動した～～

はい、いつもどおり、試験はもう近いなぁ、それで、今回は日本語にしようか。

じゃあ、今日、いいえ、もう昨日かなぁ、うん、昨日は弁論大会だった。私は出なかったのに、すごく緊張。もちろんだよ、ルームメートのルーリアさんはもう長い時間練習ばかりで、昨日やっと本番だった。さすが、スピーチは面白いのばかりで、全員がすばらしかったけど、やっぱり、JADの学生はすごいよね。残念のことは1位はできなかった、それでも、3人とも、TOP6になったんだ。おめでとう！！！ 嬉しいことは、去年より、今年は、ちゃんとスピーチを大体理解できたんだ。すごいじゃん、1年の差だけで、こんなに日本語が上手になれる。それは、間違いない、先生に感謝しなきゃ。

それから、お祝いに、夜ちょっと出かけた。最初は7人だったのに、結局14人もいた。私たちの家のメンバーの5人と、ハニムさんとファラヘラニさんとサリナちゃんとTAたちの3人と、ほかの男の子3人もいた。すごくにぎやかだなぁ。場所はGIANT。行くときはなんか運が悪かったかな、長い時間でタクシーをずっと待っていた。良かった、みんな無事に着いた。そして、晩ご飯はCHICKEN RICE SHOPにした。とても面白かったなぁ。ケーキもあるし、ご飯はたくさんあるし、話もいっぱいしたんだ。以外に、ダニアルさんは変な食べ物の話をしたんだ。ちょっと気持ち悪いけどとても盛り上がった。

要するに、大変楽しかった。でも、TAさんはやっぱりやさしいね。何回も私たちをおごってくれて。まあ、今、何をあの人たちにできるかなぁ。しおりちゃん、コジマさん、オオザキさん、ありがとう！

残念、カメラはないから、今回写真もない。

明日、ほかの予定もあって、いつ勉強できるかなぁ。後十日です。。。。。おそろしい期末試験まで。

a race against time

sometimes i wonder, how do we exactly have dreams during sleep? and in my case, it's rarely that i could vividly remember them. but one thing for sure, i always dream i'm on my feet, running, chasing, or being chased. it's like a race. at times it can be tiring (isn't the purpose of sleep to give us rest?)

"i have all the time in the world"

i wish i could blurt that out.



but let's just face it. reality hurts.

so, as a friend of mine quoted, when you are sad, instead of crying, just laugh and smile.

but, what it you are greatly irritated?

irritated with the fact that own self is no good, not up to par, haven't really done the best it could, have only been such a pathetic low life it should have never been. irritated whilst asphyxiated with the mounting of stuff this self could not comprehend. i could blame no one else.

should i scream my lungs out?


or, should i should sleep all my problems away?



somehow, i'm afraid to close these eyelids, while my ears still grasp on the surrounding, my mind has already floated away, and the image of the ^%#&^$& robot takes form, haunting me even in my dream...

oh please, dear mr.robot, just work how you supposed to.

and, dear ms iman, do what you are supposed to do!

final exam : 11 days to go (no of papers :13)
matlab assignment due date : 7 days to go
math (linear algebra) quiz : 7 days to go
chemistry report due date : 6 days to go
completing robot last day : next tuesday?
chemistry enshuu mondai due date : 2 days to go



p/s: today i experience a class where i feel like saying, "are we learning greek or what?" thus explaining my grumpy self for the day

ato 2kagetsu kanaa...

waiting in full anticipation..............

+++

hai, korekaramo ganbarimasu~~~~~~~!!!!!!!