mata ne!

as most cliched phrase would be: "time flies"


without me realizing it or not, it's already the end of May.



few weeks away from my Final





and, our current Teaching Assistant (TA)s are already back to nihon.



it's was only for a short duration this time but somehow, even though i barely spoke to them when they first arrived and only get together when they nearly return to nihon, i think i'm liking them. well, they are nice people.

but i think it's a pity i am still not fully proficient in nihongo, or else i could chat with them even more and share more interesting stuff. they are more experienced after all, i mean about alot of stuff, like school and courses, and more simply life in nihon. now, my desire to go there has catapulted much higher. it was enjoyable even with the limited communication i could do by far.

yoshh, korekaramo, ganbaruyo!!!

アキコさん、またね！！おとといは楽しかった。またマレーシアに来て一緒に遊ぼう！

oh yeah, on the day this picture was taken, it was also my first time playing in an arcade centre in my nearly 19 years i've been living. and an absolute thanks to Akiko again, she let me taste for the first time, the so-tasty ice-cream i've ever eaten at Sunway. ありがとう！！

some notes of craziness

we're 19 years olds, yet we played like little children and make a racket beside the lake

supposedly there're abundant of stuff to be done, the school stuff and all, yet i spent my time feeding my obsession on flumpool

and also get so enraptured over a voice of a male actor in a drama i accidentally watched - the result? continuous rally of dramas afterwards

to be able to fully indulge in food really does make one happy. it does matter on how you have it though, the more, the merrier! that is with people you hold dear.

negligence on my actual duties? i've fallen too deep.
should i ask for help? or should i endure the pain to get on track back again? the force that pulls down sure is tremendous i feel so choked up whenever i try to push my way up.

yeah, random ramblings again



if today supposed to be better than yesterday, what if the complete opposite happens? oh yeah, straight ahead to way of destruction? (oh my, today i'm so negative, astaghfirullah)

i lost to numbers

it has been a while to cry over a test...

well, i got what i deserved..

for the 1st time i feel so troubled with math test. however, there's nothing i could do about it, it's entirely my fault anyway for being a complete sloth and barely doing any exercise despite knowing there would be a quiz.

yes, i won't be surprised if i got zero mark. yes, it's my fault.



sensei, i'm sorry


moral of the story: math definitely require exercises(a lot), though u think u know it, it won't stick in ur mind unless you do it over and over.



leaving that disappointment aside, i'm happy now i have saru-chan by my side... :P
sorry for not fixing you until now.

まぁ、久しぶりね

yeah, it has been a while.....

so, to make it short, quite a lot happened. to briefly note what it was, it'll be like this:

-accidentally i watched a drama which i forbid myself from doing in weekdays. and i got extremely hooked to 'atashinchi no danshi'
-oh my, i find mukai osamu who plays the 3rd son in the drama so refreshing. (cair la tgk dier senyum :P)
-i'm overdose in listening to japanese song. the latest in my favourite is radwimps.
-the songs are sweet but sometimes i find the lyrics quite deviant
-i absolutely do not find programming enjoyable.
-i'm glad i'm in charge of setting up the circuit though i barely know how
-every monday i'll be like "ehhh, it's still monday??" but then without realizing it, "ehh, already over another week??" & "ehh, we've learnt this much, n we're gonna learn more??"
-i love eating lamb
-i have an abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment on observing what my lecturers (of coz the men) are wearing for the day. yeah, most of the times it entertains me much that i was saved from falling asleep mid-class.
-i'm a 'nonki' type of person
-it's so easy to kill time (yeah, like what i;m doing now, thinking how to write in this blog)
-i'm starting to hate the pimples which grow likemushroom on my face. and even one on my back
-suddenly i came to realization that students are meant to be cooped up under books, so that we understand
-oh yeah, surprised to know the TA didn't know about chokichoki after weeks they had arrived here

the grass is greener on the other side

out of the famous 7 sins, i think i might be tightly tangled in envy.

just why when i view it from this pair of eyes, everyone else has everything better?

just why can't i be as good as them?




talking about low self-esteem.

時間の無駄

じゃあ、日本語の練習のため、日本語にします～～

じゃあ、今日はとても無駄になったと思うけど

ルーリアさんより朝早く起きたのに、起きた瞬間から今までコンピューターの前ばかりだった。最初は勉強しようと思ったけど、ぜんぜんできなかった。漢字だらけで、いらいらになった。それから、もう決めたんだ。絶対に新しい電子辞書を手に入れなくちゃ！！！それで、今日一日中インターネットで、今販売している電子辞書を全部調査した。やっぱり、高いなぁ、みんなが使っている辞書は。後輩のもすごく素晴らしいよ。もっともっとうらやましくなった。でも、最新の電子辞書はもっともっと素晴らしい特徴がある。例えば、両方のパーネルもタッチ機能がある。それはとても便利なぁ。

便利だけど、非常に高い！

今の一番欲しいのは約4万円ぐらい。

しまった。後でまた考えろうかんぁ。でも、とても欲しいよ。。－＿－

それで、化学の課題は1つの問題しかやらなかった。全部は8つがあるけど。


晩ご飯はドーナツだった。



なんか、最近、RADWIMPS の音楽を聴くようになった。英語がうまく話せる日本人の声を聞くと、とてもすごいと思った。あいつの発音はとてもパーフェクトなんだから。

だから、やっていないすべきことは次のとおり：

• 化学の課題
• 物理のレポート
• ２級能力試験の学習
• インターネット基礎の科目の復習(クイズは今度の木曜日)
• 情報処理科目の復習(クイズは今度の水曜日、かも)
• C言語の学習
• 数学の復習(あまり分からなかったから）

どんどんある

absence makes heart grow fonder?

i certainly think the above is true in a sense...



seconds ago, i just finished reading this article (http://azzariyat.wordpress.com/2009/05/02/ibu-bapa-anda-sihat/#more-1436) and it somehow made me think for a while.



indeed it was very very true that every parents worry about their children but when i think further, it's the distance that's the factor in keeping the relationship close.



i do witness my friends who won't miss calling home each day while i'm certainly not belonged in that group. in my case, i do call home, when the situation needs it, that is. that's not to say i don't particularly care about them, it's just how it works in my household. i may be categorized as a spoiled child (see, i'm not denying it) but it's enough to me to know they are safe and well. if they are in trouble, i'll know it fast enough, but still what can i even do then, giving my best wishes? but sure enough, when we are apart, it occurs to me from time to time to have them appear in my mind (rindu? not really la, but at such moments when u need help, suddenly u remember them). but the total opposite happens when i have them in sight everyday. see, some things will really get on your nerves and you can't run from it. and some detestments develop from time to time, it aggravates the longer being together. i don't think it's the same for everyone, but in my case, that's just what always happens. words just can hardly get through within us. yes, i guess it's always the communication problem. no one cares to spare time in actually understanding things from the other's perpective, something like that. well, who wants to change themselves when it's already comfortable just being so? so, it's just neverending.



but still, sure enough, i guess rather than verbal bonding which always fail in my case, i still love the power of touch. hahahaha. yea, i admit, i'm such a clingy type of person, so mengada2. well, there's nothing really wrong in that, right, and it's family we're talking about here, i'm their child by blood. so, though i always quarrel with them, making them mad, always spouting my dissatisfaction just about everything, complaining and grumbling, ceaselessly demanding for anything i desire, making my distance when i'm angry which is just so often, i still come back at times and get clingy to them (literally). maybe it's the effect of habit i had from little that i'm so used to be together, in fact when i was still a child, (well, i'm grown up now though the childish side of me still remains here) i slept together with them more often than not. so, you could imagine how touchy2 it was when the bed was to fit 3 people altogether. ok, this sounds embarassing, but who cares.

so, for the moment, it's always true when i can hardly see them, i long to meet them though it'll always be fights when we do. no words needed.

(hahaha, this post were meant to be of yesterday's, but i only finished it in this PC lab after doing my html exercise)

ambivalent emotions?

i, myself do not know what are actually running in this head : jealousy, frustration, self-detestment, cluelessness, restlessness, plus more of them rolled together

kurukurukurukurukuru

+in desperation+

failure in figuring out what myself really long for at this moment (aside from the flumpool's live dvd i'm coveting so much)

it's just that something's void here...

or something's crammed up in here i can hardly let out or speak out loud


SOS signal?

p/s: there's no way it is homesickness

ok, i guess it's better to pray early on time, my bad here -ciou-

weekend@home

it somehow feels weird when i'm spending the whole weekend stuck at home...

well, for what i had for the past few weekends, i've only been going out here and there, hardly had my time at home. so, if i recall what i had, it'll be like this:

*
*
*

weekend before returning to shah alam(saturday 30th of March):
went out with Wana to Times Square
went to cosmo, get thrilled on the rollercoaster, watched a movie and bought stuffed toys


weekend of the 1st week with no class:
(saturday 4th of april) went to klcc and spent the entire day in kinokinuya, i finished a whole novel then.
btw, as we had no class, i actually went out with Lia, to Times Square again on the previous thursday, watched movie, bought cloth, bought dvd.. felt really good shopping like this


the following weekend (saturday 11th of april):
my cousin's wedding - totemo kireina hito ni natta, how grooming could really transform a person
i got my baju kurung stained with coffee all over my back


and to the next one (saturday 18th of april):
went to the book fair with ecah. but before that, went to Times Square again to buy some dvd. bought more books later and squeezed in a sea of people.


to the last weekend of april (satuday 25th of april):
went out with syifaa', suki, ecah and her 2 kouhai (it's not like they're not our kouhai too though), really had fun at Times Square again, played bowling. wow, i actually scored 2nd highest among 6 of us who played. then we went on touring all the shops there were, and not enough, walked to sg. wang to search for more. someone was looking for a pair of shoes but sadly no result at the end. and as i was planning to head home afterwards, i went again to the book fair instead. i had to exchange the misprinted book i bought a week b4. but, to my utter disappointment, they no longer had the stock for it. after all the inconvenience i went through to go there again-shoving through the ever-more packed crowd, among the suffocating atmosphere i really detest. and i got nothing? felt like cursing but then i went to the gempakstarz booth and bought a full set of 'chocolat' manga. i really love it when i get to read from the beginning to the end without interruption.



and now i'm having my first weekend of may at home...

ashita, nani wo ryourishiyoukanaa.........

p/s:note how much Times Square had been in my weekend venues in the past month... hahaha, and i just read in newspaper that a new doughnut shop had just been opened. just why couldn't it open when i went there multiple of times...