I am still very overwhelemed about the amount of people this small island can hold. Everywhere I go, I feel swarmed by people. And it gets very frustrating especially with the erratic weather.
I am super frustrated and upset. Why are Singaporeans so ugly? And they never stop complaining. As soon as I touched down Hong Kong airport, I already hear Singaporeans complaining like mad about this and that. Their spirit of complaining is powerful.
This small city is as busy as usual. Lively in the morning when you go to markets. Lively in the night when you hang out in town.
What frustrates me was that, why are people around me so noisy? Complaining and talking about things that frustrates them all the time. Unsatisfied about things happening to them, between both families. Me, being sandwiched in the middle. I am mother's daughter. I am also my father's daughter. I belong to both families. I can't say I am on whoever's side. It just gets on my nerves when I feel I am restricted to do anything. To reject one party, I feel so bu hao yi si. Though ya, I don't really like to go out with both sides of relatives. But, I'm still born in that family.
I just dislike it, hate it alot when both of my parents try to argue, amd stood up with both sides of their siblings. And keep harping about things that has already gone past long long time ago.
Another thing is, after so long I am out on the other side of Earth. Why do people still treat me like a small and innocent girl. Assuming that I still don't do some of the things that adults do.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Everything has come to an end.
Exchange has officially ended for me. Time really flies. I still remember the time, 16 Aug when I depart from Singapore. It was rather scared for me, flying off alone with two other guys for travel, know nuts about the place that we are going. I am writing this long post on the plane. Kinda cool. I just can’t sleep, not as smooth as I were to normally be on a transport. 4 months has passed so fast. That time on the plane towards Canada, I thought: What would be my feeling on the plane back after exchange. Will it be sad? Happy?
Thinking on the last 4 months, I departed with majority of afraid, more than anything else. Because it is my first time travelling so far away, alone (without family members). I started to get use to the feeling of being independent, not that im not in the past. But I really have to depend on myself wherever I go, as I will be not lucky as some others who will always get help from people around. I don’t remember any sense of excitement either, even though I’m going to so many places in USA. Maybe because of the people I travel with, are not as close to me, perhaps just only acquaintances. And I thought, will we become good friends after the whole exchange? I guess, I shall see. Looking at the way that time when we depart together. I highly doubt so.
USA was rather okay. The first two stops were rather tiring, maybe because it is just the start of everything? Starting to get use to a western culture. A whole complete extreme of cultures of both worlds. I still remember how my legs hurt on uncomfortable shoes for the first day, how I couldn’t sleep the first night due to time difference. And how I travelled with my legs so pain walking miles and miles in Washington DC, but that was the best night of my USA trip. Then how busy New York is, when my roommate joined us. How dangerous the city was, and how disastrous it was when we tried to escape hurricane Irene. And the highlight was, missing our flight to Las Vegas. That night was a total disaster. Upon knowing that we have no where else to go but to take a 3 day long greyhound bus ride from East to West. New York to Los Angeles. How many times I cried. And how many times I keep getting concern and console from my family and friends. Perhaps, this is what makes me grow up. Challenges like this, the obstacles that we face. But thinking back, never ever do people do this. 3 day long bus ride. That will be an unforgettable experience that 4 of us had.
After which, the journey was smooth. I enjoyed myself both in LA and San Francisco, SF was rather cold though. But at that time, I was already very tired. Tired of hearing shopping everyday. Tired because I realized how am I different from the rest of them. Travelling makes one see the true colours of people. I really want to go somewhere to settle down. And London here I come. London, not the UK one. But London in Ontario, Canada.
I have been a while in Canada when I just touched down. I think Canadians are rather warm and friendly, which makes me feel at home. And there we are, settled down in Lambton Hall. And school starts two days later. I rarely had some time to rest around and get my energy going on. I chose to take 6 courses, which initially I had planned for 5. I wondered how can I cope, but I was willing to give a try. I was abit regretting about it. Because I don’t know why deep down inside me. I was so tired, that I couldn’t concentrate well in class. Maybe because, subconsciously, I thought because it was pass fail so I don’t really care about it. I don’t know why I keep falling asleep in class which I rarely do in NTU. I could not concentrate well. Poor time management. Or is it I’m missing my family and friends in SG? Just the starting of school, new people, new lecturers, new environment, new style of studying. I had this struggle for very long. I did not do well in tests and exams. But, I have a large feeling in me that I want to do well here. I want to prove myself that I can study well given in a foreign environment. But everyone tells me I just need a pass. That’s the kind of internal struggle that I struggled for very long. Upon with decisions of travelling, especially Florida and Las Vegas. Comes the cost of missing lessons. Well, I decided not to because it will be costly to travel to LV. The place that I still would want to go. But, not with the two of them.
That aside, I have tried many new things that I don’t in the past. Going clubbing and pubbing, drinking so much that I have never done before. I don’t even know my drinking limit. And my first time, I drank beer and 2 shots of tequila. I guess that is the way of life for Canadians. Partying partying ooo! I really I am not a party person, I dislike going out so late at night especially when the weather is so cold.
I tried cooking also. And I burnt my pot somehow. But I realized, I am not bad at cooking afterall. And I enjoyed it, improving each time and everyday. I spend so much time in the kitchen. And I was wondering if it takes away my study time. But then again, I just need a pass. HAHA! This mentality… Seriously. That was a great sense of achievement that I long ago want to do. But just don’t know how to start. At least, now I can put food on my table, all by myself.
Living with a roommate. I didn’t live in hall before, much less to say live with another person under one roof. It takes a lot to really get use to the lifestyle of another person. To accommodate is a virtue. But accommodating too much is frustrated. I don’t deny that I was frustrated at times. For example, why am I doing so much things that she should share as well. Why am I cooking when it is her turn to cook? Why am I washing dishes all the time when I see dishes left not washed, and lying around in the kitchen. How many time I was angry with her for not cooking when she said she wants to. This little things causes a little misunderstanding. How many times I went into episodes of annoying and irritation because of interpersonal relationships with them. It’s my own problem. I thought and thought, which explains most of my upset blog posts. That was the time I had my downs, perhaps I am just trying to adapt. Does the problem lie with me or am I thinking too much. I even thought of seeing a psychologist. But I guess I should try and deal with my problem. At times, I was really indecisive about going travelling with them. Because different people have different travelling goals. Hard to blame. Where in the world would you find a girl who dislikes shopping. But then again, it allows me to see more things in life, that I normally neglected, way too much. Maybe it’s time for a change somehow.
But I appreciate her for lending me a helping hand, taking time to console me when I had my problems. I may not be fun to be with. At least, talking to me makes me feel better. But this don’t last long, I began to live alone for 2 months. Maybe because of the problems between us? I don’t know. That I maybe better off alone, rather than facing a group of people I don’t really feel at home with. I took off time alone to spend with outdoor clubs and my peer guide. Meeting new people makes me more independent and at ease. Went for two trails within one day. I get to explore nature in Canada in this way, which is what I want.
I started to think and think. Was it the problem with me? Am I really hard to talk to? Why is it that I am being treated the different way? Or is it they are just so unreasonable? Why are they so hostile? I even thought of going to see a psychologist to talk about my problems. I began to doubt people and began to regret my decision of choosing Canada for exchange. That was when my expectations and reality become incongruent. I was afraid I couldn’t meet my goals I set. I wanted to make things happen. I really wished to go to Montreal so I make things happen with other people instead. I started to cheer up after the Montreal trip with another group of NTU friends. A nicer group of people whom I can click better with. And that’s where I became closer to SL, I really thank him for keeping me company most of the time when I am alone, eat lunch with me, study with me. Feed me with so many food. (I think I gain a lot of weight!) It feels more like a home when all of us eat dinner together. Then I felt, I don’t have to be alone again. A couple of times I thought, I really want to go back to Singapore and don’t want to live that kind of life again.
All in all, I feel I have learnt a lot in life. And I know more about myself, and what I want in life. I am all prepared to lead a new and refreshed life in Singapore!
I have actually fulfilled most of the things:
1) Cook!
2) Travel to as many as places as I can in Canada – Montreal, Quebec & Ottawa
3) Tried clubbing and pubbing, drinking!
4) Made a couple of close international friends
5) Made at least one close friend in NTU
6) Nature walks in Canada
7) See snow
8) Tried ice skating
9) (Haven’t play snow and make snowman yet )
10) (Haven’t tried song signing with gloves yet)
11) Watch a Canadian Movie
12) Been to a Canadian traditional festival
13) (Haven’t been to a thanksgiving dinner)
14) (Haven’t been to a Concert)
But actually Canada don’t have much nice food. I just miss the people and the slow pace of life there. Ultimately, I still have to go back where I’m from.
Thinking on the last 4 months, I departed with majority of afraid, more than anything else. Because it is my first time travelling so far away, alone (without family members). I started to get use to the feeling of being independent, not that im not in the past. But I really have to depend on myself wherever I go, as I will be not lucky as some others who will always get help from people around. I don’t remember any sense of excitement either, even though I’m going to so many places in USA. Maybe because of the people I travel with, are not as close to me, perhaps just only acquaintances. And I thought, will we become good friends after the whole exchange? I guess, I shall see. Looking at the way that time when we depart together. I highly doubt so.
USA was rather okay. The first two stops were rather tiring, maybe because it is just the start of everything? Starting to get use to a western culture. A whole complete extreme of cultures of both worlds. I still remember how my legs hurt on uncomfortable shoes for the first day, how I couldn’t sleep the first night due to time difference. And how I travelled with my legs so pain walking miles and miles in Washington DC, but that was the best night of my USA trip. Then how busy New York is, when my roommate joined us. How dangerous the city was, and how disastrous it was when we tried to escape hurricane Irene. And the highlight was, missing our flight to Las Vegas. That night was a total disaster. Upon knowing that we have no where else to go but to take a 3 day long greyhound bus ride from East to West. New York to Los Angeles. How many times I cried. And how many times I keep getting concern and console from my family and friends. Perhaps, this is what makes me grow up. Challenges like this, the obstacles that we face. But thinking back, never ever do people do this. 3 day long bus ride. That will be an unforgettable experience that 4 of us had.
After which, the journey was smooth. I enjoyed myself both in LA and San Francisco, SF was rather cold though. But at that time, I was already very tired. Tired of hearing shopping everyday. Tired because I realized how am I different from the rest of them. Travelling makes one see the true colours of people. I really want to go somewhere to settle down. And London here I come. London, not the UK one. But London in Ontario, Canada.
I have been a while in Canada when I just touched down. I think Canadians are rather warm and friendly, which makes me feel at home. And there we are, settled down in Lambton Hall. And school starts two days later. I rarely had some time to rest around and get my energy going on. I chose to take 6 courses, which initially I had planned for 5. I wondered how can I cope, but I was willing to give a try. I was abit regretting about it. Because I don’t know why deep down inside me. I was so tired, that I couldn’t concentrate well in class. Maybe because, subconsciously, I thought because it was pass fail so I don’t really care about it. I don’t know why I keep falling asleep in class which I rarely do in NTU. I could not concentrate well. Poor time management. Or is it I’m missing my family and friends in SG? Just the starting of school, new people, new lecturers, new environment, new style of studying. I had this struggle for very long. I did not do well in tests and exams. But, I have a large feeling in me that I want to do well here. I want to prove myself that I can study well given in a foreign environment. But everyone tells me I just need a pass. That’s the kind of internal struggle that I struggled for very long. Upon with decisions of travelling, especially Florida and Las Vegas. Comes the cost of missing lessons. Well, I decided not to because it will be costly to travel to LV. The place that I still would want to go. But, not with the two of them.
That aside, I have tried many new things that I don’t in the past. Going clubbing and pubbing, drinking so much that I have never done before. I don’t even know my drinking limit. And my first time, I drank beer and 2 shots of tequila. I guess that is the way of life for Canadians. Partying partying ooo! I really I am not a party person, I dislike going out so late at night especially when the weather is so cold.
I tried cooking also. And I burnt my pot somehow. But I realized, I am not bad at cooking afterall. And I enjoyed it, improving each time and everyday. I spend so much time in the kitchen. And I was wondering if it takes away my study time. But then again, I just need a pass. HAHA! This mentality… Seriously. That was a great sense of achievement that I long ago want to do. But just don’t know how to start. At least, now I can put food on my table, all by myself.
Living with a roommate. I didn’t live in hall before, much less to say live with another person under one roof. It takes a lot to really get use to the lifestyle of another person. To accommodate is a virtue. But accommodating too much is frustrated. I don’t deny that I was frustrated at times. For example, why am I doing so much things that she should share as well. Why am I cooking when it is her turn to cook? Why am I washing dishes all the time when I see dishes left not washed, and lying around in the kitchen. How many time I was angry with her for not cooking when she said she wants to. This little things causes a little misunderstanding. How many times I went into episodes of annoying and irritation because of interpersonal relationships with them. It’s my own problem. I thought and thought, which explains most of my upset blog posts. That was the time I had my downs, perhaps I am just trying to adapt. Does the problem lie with me or am I thinking too much. I even thought of seeing a psychologist. But I guess I should try and deal with my problem. At times, I was really indecisive about going travelling with them. Because different people have different travelling goals. Hard to blame. Where in the world would you find a girl who dislikes shopping. But then again, it allows me to see more things in life, that I normally neglected, way too much. Maybe it’s time for a change somehow.
But I appreciate her for lending me a helping hand, taking time to console me when I had my problems. I may not be fun to be with. At least, talking to me makes me feel better. But this don’t last long, I began to live alone for 2 months. Maybe because of the problems between us? I don’t know. That I maybe better off alone, rather than facing a group of people I don’t really feel at home with. I took off time alone to spend with outdoor clubs and my peer guide. Meeting new people makes me more independent and at ease. Went for two trails within one day. I get to explore nature in Canada in this way, which is what I want.
I started to think and think. Was it the problem with me? Am I really hard to talk to? Why is it that I am being treated the different way? Or is it they are just so unreasonable? Why are they so hostile? I even thought of going to see a psychologist to talk about my problems. I began to doubt people and began to regret my decision of choosing Canada for exchange. That was when my expectations and reality become incongruent. I was afraid I couldn’t meet my goals I set. I wanted to make things happen. I really wished to go to Montreal so I make things happen with other people instead. I started to cheer up after the Montreal trip with another group of NTU friends. A nicer group of people whom I can click better with. And that’s where I became closer to SL, I really thank him for keeping me company most of the time when I am alone, eat lunch with me, study with me. Feed me with so many food. (I think I gain a lot of weight!) It feels more like a home when all of us eat dinner together. Then I felt, I don’t have to be alone again. A couple of times I thought, I really want to go back to Singapore and don’t want to live that kind of life again.
All in all, I feel I have learnt a lot in life. And I know more about myself, and what I want in life. I am all prepared to lead a new and refreshed life in Singapore!
I have actually fulfilled most of the things:
1) Cook!
2) Travel to as many as places as I can in Canada – Montreal, Quebec & Ottawa
3) Tried clubbing and pubbing, drinking!
4) Made a couple of close international friends
5) Made at least one close friend in NTU
6) Nature walks in Canada
7) See snow
8) Tried ice skating
9) (Haven’t play snow and make snowman yet )
10) (Haven’t tried song signing with gloves yet)
11) Watch a Canadian Movie
12) Been to a Canadian traditional festival
13) (Haven’t been to a thanksgiving dinner)
14) (Haven’t been to a Concert)
But actually Canada don’t have much nice food. I just miss the people and the slow pace of life there. Ultimately, I still have to go back where I’m from.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Letter 3 — Your parents
Dear Parents,
I always say I have two sets of parents. Let me write to my first and priority parents first- my biological parents.
I miss my parents. (Let me write in a third person form as I feel quite weird to directly write to them) Well, since young and til now, I have been very close to my mum. She's like my role model in life. My dad, hmmm, sometimes, living in his own world. That he just wants to live his happy life smoothly, all by himself. Much less to say, having real expectations of me, that he really wanted, of his own decision.
He is worrisome of me, since I am his only daughter. Much to the extent, he don't dare to let me fly the world all by my own. But, I still grab hold of the opportunity this time. He still lets me do whatever I want, but behind, he worries alot. He works very hard to put me through education, to the extent, I don't want to burden him alot. He says he has enough money to fund my education. But I feel, it will be better for me to get a scholarship. I still don't know my decision in this scholarship, in really becoming a teacher. I love to teach. But, can I really take that stress? Nevertheless, partly, we are not financially able , on my father's part. So, I wish I could do whatever to lessen his worry. To avoid his nagging all day long. HAHA! I just hope, he would worry lesser, and enjoy his essence of life.
I miss my mummy. I miss everything of her. Her sweet voice, the nice smell of her orange hair, her cute smile, her plump shoulders, her funny expressions, her cat-alike walk. Okay I sound abit sick. But anyway, I am going to see my parents in less than a week's time. Imagine 4 months out of sight from them, not even a skype video. But thankful to skype these days, I feel more at "home" when I am in Canada. Why I listen to my mum so much is because, she somehow can predict what would be of me in the future. Like my guanyinma, better to listen to her words than regretting. But I really don't know, one day, I may just defy her. I don't wish this day to come. She thought me the morals and values of how to be, a person. Though some things may not be really applied in this 21st century. But the most important thing was, to live up to one's conscience and don't go too hard on your own. In life, some things, we have no choice but to do it. But also, you have the choice to choose whether you want to do it or not. That's the dilemma I learn from her. So at this point, you have to learn how to judge situations. Weigh what you want, and what do good to you. Which is why, I am indecisive at all times. But I guess I always make the correct decisions. Something I will bear in my mind forever.
I think I am narrating about my parents, not even writing a letter to them. Well, I can't say what I would do for them in future. Like what my mum say, don't say for your future so fast, if in any point of time you can't promise what you do. You are just a complete failure than those who didn't promise. So, yup, I have nothing to say for now. But thank you for bringing me up for what I am today. I may not be perfect, smart, responsible, pretty, but I am who I am. That's the most important thing.
Next, my funny couple of parents. I am not sure if you all would read this. But, I am curious how have you guys been when daughter is out in a far far away land. Daddy, stop being a workaholic! Mummy, please cut your hair!
Well, I guess this exchange made me grown up, not alot but I think by a bit. I really look forward to HTHT with you two again. See how much you all think I have changed.
Daddy I am looking the words of angry bird you gave me. I fulfilled everything except one. and that is "find an angmoh bf!" HAHA.
Mummy, thanks alot for hearing me out when I am in my lowest point of time here. I guess being here, change my thoughts about people and really make me understand what I really want. I just want to go do the things I like and I wish to achieve. I am not going to live in other people's shoes anymore. I don't want to care how others think of me.
I will be back in less than a week! And I am truly excited to lead a refresh life!
Loves,
Jia Xin
I always say I have two sets of parents. Let me write to my first and priority parents first- my biological parents.
I miss my parents. (Let me write in a third person form as I feel quite weird to directly write to them) Well, since young and til now, I have been very close to my mum. She's like my role model in life. My dad, hmmm, sometimes, living in his own world. That he just wants to live his happy life smoothly, all by himself. Much less to say, having real expectations of me, that he really wanted, of his own decision.
He is worrisome of me, since I am his only daughter. Much to the extent, he don't dare to let me fly the world all by my own. But, I still grab hold of the opportunity this time. He still lets me do whatever I want, but behind, he worries alot. He works very hard to put me through education, to the extent, I don't want to burden him alot. He says he has enough money to fund my education. But I feel, it will be better for me to get a scholarship. I still don't know my decision in this scholarship, in really becoming a teacher. I love to teach. But, can I really take that stress? Nevertheless, partly, we are not financially able , on my father's part. So, I wish I could do whatever to lessen his worry. To avoid his nagging all day long. HAHA! I just hope, he would worry lesser, and enjoy his essence of life.
I miss my mummy. I miss everything of her. Her sweet voice, the nice smell of her orange hair, her cute smile, her plump shoulders, her funny expressions, her cat-alike walk. Okay I sound abit sick. But anyway, I am going to see my parents in less than a week's time. Imagine 4 months out of sight from them, not even a skype video. But thankful to skype these days, I feel more at "home" when I am in Canada. Why I listen to my mum so much is because, she somehow can predict what would be of me in the future. Like my guanyinma, better to listen to her words than regretting. But I really don't know, one day, I may just defy her. I don't wish this day to come. She thought me the morals and values of how to be, a person. Though some things may not be really applied in this 21st century. But the most important thing was, to live up to one's conscience and don't go too hard on your own. In life, some things, we have no choice but to do it. But also, you have the choice to choose whether you want to do it or not. That's the dilemma I learn from her. So at this point, you have to learn how to judge situations. Weigh what you want, and what do good to you. Which is why, I am indecisive at all times. But I guess I always make the correct decisions. Something I will bear in my mind forever.
I think I am narrating about my parents, not even writing a letter to them. Well, I can't say what I would do for them in future. Like what my mum say, don't say for your future so fast, if in any point of time you can't promise what you do. You are just a complete failure than those who didn't promise. So, yup, I have nothing to say for now. But thank you for bringing me up for what I am today. I may not be perfect, smart, responsible, pretty, but I am who I am. That's the most important thing.
Next, my funny couple of parents. I am not sure if you all would read this. But, I am curious how have you guys been when daughter is out in a far far away land. Daddy, stop being a workaholic! Mummy, please cut your hair!
Well, I guess this exchange made me grown up, not alot but I think by a bit. I really look forward to HTHT with you two again. See how much you all think I have changed.
Daddy I am looking the words of angry bird you gave me. I fulfilled everything except one. and that is "find an angmoh bf!" HAHA.
Mummy, thanks alot for hearing me out when I am in my lowest point of time here. I guess being here, change my thoughts about people and really make me understand what I really want. I just want to go do the things I like and I wish to achieve. I am not going to live in other people's shoes anymore. I don't want to care how others think of me.
I will be back in less than a week! And I am truly excited to lead a refresh life!
Loves,
Jia Xin
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Time really flies
Right after my Montreal trip, I am back to school again, rushing assignments and assignments and before school really comes to an end for me. It feels like, quite some time since I started to get use to the teaching style and environment here, made quite a number of classmates. Then school term ends, so fast. I wish I had more time to study. OH well, I am on exchange, I just needed a pass. What I meant was, more time to experience the student life.
I already had three exams passed, fourth one coming up real soon. And I would surprisingly expected myself to get the waiting list of the ticket. And I will be leaving London, leaving Canada real soon, in a week's time. I feel rather excited about going back. Restarting my whole new life again in Singapore. On the other hand, I will miss the good times (and sometimes torturous times) I had spent here. I suddenly feel alot of things not accomplished. Much to do with snow. I had only seen like, less than a handful of snow days. I haven't really played with snow yet becuase I keep telling myself that, there will be chance! But seems like, this week has not much snow. I haven't build snowman, haven't take photo with snow.
Whatever it is, thinking that I will rush back home made me feel excited. I don't have to bother about what to do for the boring 6 days in Toronto. Especially when Christmas here is so bored. Amidst studying, I have been thinking about my packing plans, my departing plans, and how am I going to spend the rest of the 6 days here. Just studying and packing. But nevermind, I look forward to go back to Singapore. There are certain things I want to leave behind here. The great memories I had, but I know, I can't take them with me back to Singapore. A whole facade, feels like reality to me here. But at the same time, that feeling would not last. I know Cinderella has to return to her own pumpkin cart one day, and find her new life. The great memories I had with people here, made me realise how people can get pretty complicated, judgemental, selfish. I admit I had my own ups and downs. But, at least, I led the life I want to lead afterall. Being in a different place, is different, because I simply had different expectations. But at last, I feel happy, becuase I know I had a friend to share my happiness and burden with. Thank you so much. I don't know if we were to be that close when we return to Singapore. But I hope we wouldn't, because of different whole new environment again, cut away complete contact. It feels like a fantasy. At a certain point of time, I understand the reality. But, I hope, I can return back to myself, and find back my identity. Be a hardcore Canadian student, and a parttime worker. =) I am ready to face the challenges, by my own. =)
I am leaving for the sake of leaving. I don't wish to come back into this life again. Bye Canada, for goodness sake. I really enjoyed the times I spent with the people here.
I already had three exams passed, fourth one coming up real soon. And I would surprisingly expected myself to get the waiting list of the ticket. And I will be leaving London, leaving Canada real soon, in a week's time. I feel rather excited about going back. Restarting my whole new life again in Singapore. On the other hand, I will miss the good times (and sometimes torturous times) I had spent here. I suddenly feel alot of things not accomplished. Much to do with snow. I had only seen like, less than a handful of snow days. I haven't really played with snow yet becuase I keep telling myself that, there will be chance! But seems like, this week has not much snow. I haven't build snowman, haven't take photo with snow.
Whatever it is, thinking that I will rush back home made me feel excited. I don't have to bother about what to do for the boring 6 days in Toronto. Especially when Christmas here is so bored. Amidst studying, I have been thinking about my packing plans, my departing plans, and how am I going to spend the rest of the 6 days here. Just studying and packing. But nevermind, I look forward to go back to Singapore. There are certain things I want to leave behind here. The great memories I had, but I know, I can't take them with me back to Singapore. A whole facade, feels like reality to me here. But at the same time, that feeling would not last. I know Cinderella has to return to her own pumpkin cart one day, and find her new life. The great memories I had with people here, made me realise how people can get pretty complicated, judgemental, selfish. I admit I had my own ups and downs. But, at least, I led the life I want to lead afterall. Being in a different place, is different, because I simply had different expectations. But at last, I feel happy, becuase I know I had a friend to share my happiness and burden with. Thank you so much. I don't know if we were to be that close when we return to Singapore. But I hope we wouldn't, because of different whole new environment again, cut away complete contact. It feels like a fantasy. At a certain point of time, I understand the reality. But, I hope, I can return back to myself, and find back my identity. Be a hardcore Canadian student, and a parttime worker. =) I am ready to face the challenges, by my own. =)
I am leaving for the sake of leaving. I don't wish to come back into this life again. Bye Canada, for goodness sake. I really enjoyed the times I spent with the people here.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Wonderful trip to Ottawa, Montreal & Quebec
Oh yeah! I love it! Love the people I'm going with. I have been dying to go to these 3 places near Ontario. Finally, I make things happen! I found a trip by the school's travel cut to Montreal. And got the rest of the 4 to join. But before the trip, I was rushing so many assignments. Thankfully, I manage to finish all just before the trip, and caught some nap.
We left at 3, I was slightly late, shouldn't have made maggie mee. I was so excited! We took cab down to greyhound and caught the bus to toronto. Unfortunately, we were delayed in reaching Toronto, thus could only have 10 minutes to rush down to York Mills. Luckily, I have informed the agency that we will be late. The tour guide waited for us and phew! We are on the bus! Off to French Canada!
We first arrived at Ottawa after like 3 hours of bus ride. Actually the journey is quite fast, compared to normal greyhound. We went to the parliament building and byward market. Ghis and I went to museum of civilization to take a look. After that we took a tour around Ottawa and off to Montreal.
Montreal night is just similar to Toronto. We ate at a restaurant called Cafe Republique. And surprisingly I order a glass of Bailey's! The ambience was not bad though! Montreal is a place where you have to find the good things around. Next we went to Notre-Dame Church to see the lights show. It was quite nice. Then we walk back to our hotel and get some rest. Then we headed down to McGill University for a walk.
The next day, we went to eat Crepes for breakfast! Thanks Ghis for the idea! It was really good! Shared my portion with SL and I think it was great! Then the bus drove us to Quebec city. Old quebec was really really nice. It feels like as though I have stepped onto Europe. I had a great time walking along the streets and seeing almost every interesting shop. We ate great sandwich at a nice restaurant that the tour guide brought us to. We explored around the place and then a tour guide brought us around Old quebec and explaining the history of it. some parts are really really nice, and so wonderful at night. We went to an Italian restaurant for dinner. Soup, main course, drinks and desert. I thought it was quite worth it actually.
That night, I never thought I would talk so much to them, as much as I would talk to that 3 of them. I had a great time laughing, and talking rubbish. I think this was my best trip, surpassed Washington DC.
The next day, we went back to Montreal again, but this time round it was Old Montreal. IT was quite near to the downtown that we were two days back. Old montreal was really fun too. We ate poutine and lots of good stuff. Took a lot of good photos. Went around to many shops to look around. Then it was the bus journey back. Kinda fast, 3 days passed really fast. How I wished I could travel with them for a longer period of time. I really enjoyed this trip a lot. I guess it was my best trip ever during my 4 months, of course, with nice people. Thanks people for taking good care of me. I enjoyed the times with you guys! Especially SL, thanks so much for entertaining me and taking good care of me.
We left at 3, I was slightly late, shouldn't have made maggie mee. I was so excited! We took cab down to greyhound and caught the bus to toronto. Unfortunately, we were delayed in reaching Toronto, thus could only have 10 minutes to rush down to York Mills. Luckily, I have informed the agency that we will be late. The tour guide waited for us and phew! We are on the bus! Off to French Canada!
We first arrived at Ottawa after like 3 hours of bus ride. Actually the journey is quite fast, compared to normal greyhound. We went to the parliament building and byward market. Ghis and I went to museum of civilization to take a look. After that we took a tour around Ottawa and off to Montreal.
Montreal night is just similar to Toronto. We ate at a restaurant called Cafe Republique. And surprisingly I order a glass of Bailey's! The ambience was not bad though! Montreal is a place where you have to find the good things around. Next we went to Notre-Dame Church to see the lights show. It was quite nice. Then we walk back to our hotel and get some rest. Then we headed down to McGill University for a walk.
The next day, we went to eat Crepes for breakfast! Thanks Ghis for the idea! It was really good! Shared my portion with SL and I think it was great! Then the bus drove us to Quebec city. Old quebec was really really nice. It feels like as though I have stepped onto Europe. I had a great time walking along the streets and seeing almost every interesting shop. We ate great sandwich at a nice restaurant that the tour guide brought us to. We explored around the place and then a tour guide brought us around Old quebec and explaining the history of it. some parts are really really nice, and so wonderful at night. We went to an Italian restaurant for dinner. Soup, main course, drinks and desert. I thought it was quite worth it actually.
That night, I never thought I would talk so much to them, as much as I would talk to that 3 of them. I had a great time laughing, and talking rubbish. I think this was my best trip, surpassed Washington DC.
The next day, we went back to Montreal again, but this time round it was Old Montreal. IT was quite near to the downtown that we were two days back. Old montreal was really fun too. We ate poutine and lots of good stuff. Took a lot of good photos. Went around to many shops to look around. Then it was the bus journey back. Kinda fast, 3 days passed really fast. How I wished I could travel with them for a longer period of time. I really enjoyed this trip a lot. I guess it was my best trip ever during my 4 months, of course, with nice people. Thanks people for taking good care of me. I enjoyed the times with you guys! Especially SL, thanks so much for entertaining me and taking good care of me.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
I really feel very unhappy at certain points of time. I don't know why.
I know I am not very good to post that status on facebook. But I was kinda sian when she says she is coming back to cook but didn't in the end. And she also says in the whatsapp conference that she is coming back to cook. If she hasn't said it all, I wouldn't have been so pissed. At least not what I expected, I know it's not her fault. I shouldn't have been small minded.
I have already reached the stage whereby I don't know how to communicate to any single one of them. I don't know how to face them, with the appropriate facial expressions. Hence the cycle repeats. I don't want to feel judged, just because of the angry faces I give and affect other people. I don't know what wrong have I done too. I can't see myself in the mirror. Others do. I don't see why am I being treated differently. Whatever you want to say to me, just tell me. Why do you all have to keep it to yourself and then accommodate? Am I that difficult to talk to?
Different people. That's how difference can seriously make a great difference.
At this point, I really really want to go back to Singapore. Back to my own world.
It's not really healthy to feel this way. I know exchange must be really fun. But why? What happened?
The only reason I can think of, I met the wrong group of people, wrong as in, different from me. But thankfully, there are still people I can turn to if I need help.
I know I am not very good to post that status on facebook. But I was kinda sian when she says she is coming back to cook but didn't in the end. And she also says in the whatsapp conference that she is coming back to cook. If she hasn't said it all, I wouldn't have been so pissed. At least not what I expected, I know it's not her fault. I shouldn't have been small minded.
I have already reached the stage whereby I don't know how to communicate to any single one of them. I don't know how to face them, with the appropriate facial expressions. Hence the cycle repeats. I don't want to feel judged, just because of the angry faces I give and affect other people. I don't know what wrong have I done too. I can't see myself in the mirror. Others do. I don't see why am I being treated differently. Whatever you want to say to me, just tell me. Why do you all have to keep it to yourself and then accommodate? Am I that difficult to talk to?
Different people. That's how difference can seriously make a great difference.
At this point, I really really want to go back to Singapore. Back to my own world.
It's not really healthy to feel this way. I know exchange must be really fun. But why? What happened?
The only reason I can think of, I met the wrong group of people, wrong as in, different from me. But thankfully, there are still people I can turn to if I need help.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
First Glimpse of Snow!
I was in class today and I saw snow! I immediately digressed and tell my friend and keep looking outside. My classmates did the same and then everyone started looking outside, none of them listening to the prof. So funny.. I bet my Canadian friends here are waiting to see my excitement on the first snow!
I wake up so early in the morning to return a book. And came back again to sleep. AFter that I skyped with my mummy. I feel so happy after skyping and getting to talk to her for as long as I like now. Otherwise I really miss her and wanted to talk to her but can't do that so often. Her voice calling me to go sleep is so famiilar. But anyway, she taught me how to chao mee fen. It's my first time trying and I think it's not bad a first try!
I went out for lesson and it is so cold. Then it is snowing!!! I was concentrating, for once today during lesson. Happy girl! I really don't want to stuck in between people. And getting other people's attention. I like it the way I am now. I am free to do what I want to do.
We finally book the montreal trip! I was worrying if no one wants to go with me or there's no spots left. Yay! So happy! Went Walmart with them too. It's the first time I really really see what is there in walmart. I always chiong alot of things in Walmart, never get the chance to really see things. And it's the first time I bought so many things. Without having to carry them. I don't even have to carry my own shopping basket cuz there is someone who will automatically carry for me. I feel nice about it. HAHA! I don't even have to carry far. There's trolley around. Probably we took cab back. Save us the trouble of carrying alot of things.
I was kinda angry about having no dinner when I reach home. Probably I held my expectations too high. But it's okay, I cook shark fins soup. It's nice! Though I think I put too much powder, which makes it a little bit salty. Well at least she helped me cook lunch. HAHA!
I wake up so early in the morning to return a book. And came back again to sleep. AFter that I skyped with my mummy. I feel so happy after skyping and getting to talk to her for as long as I like now. Otherwise I really miss her and wanted to talk to her but can't do that so often. Her voice calling me to go sleep is so famiilar. But anyway, she taught me how to chao mee fen. It's my first time trying and I think it's not bad a first try!
I went out for lesson and it is so cold. Then it is snowing!!! I was concentrating, for once today during lesson. Happy girl! I really don't want to stuck in between people. And getting other people's attention. I like it the way I am now. I am free to do what I want to do.
We finally book the montreal trip! I was worrying if no one wants to go with me or there's no spots left. Yay! So happy! Went Walmart with them too. It's the first time I really really see what is there in walmart. I always chiong alot of things in Walmart, never get the chance to really see things. And it's the first time I bought so many things. Without having to carry them. I don't even have to carry my own shopping basket cuz there is someone who will automatically carry for me. I feel nice about it. HAHA! I don't even have to carry far. There's trolley around. Probably we took cab back. Save us the trouble of carrying alot of things.
I was kinda angry about having no dinner when I reach home. Probably I held my expectations too high. But it's okay, I cook shark fins soup. It's nice! Though I think I put too much powder, which makes it a little bit salty. Well at least she helped me cook lunch. HAHA!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Incredible Experience
Why do I say that? Never have I had two tests within 2 hours. Hai... Two weakest modules. I don't think I have confidence in doing well this time. Hopefully I can do better this time round. I am still not good with survival analysis. Please give me some pity marks. For intermediate probability, still not too bad as the previous one. I hope I can pass this time and pull up my grade. At least let me pass a little bit. I guess I should be able to pass since last time I blanked out alot of questions and it warrants me a 4 mark below pass. Shouldn't be that bad since this time round I attempted all the questions. But still, I don't know how to do one question.
It's so cute... Everyone ask about me today and realised I have two midterms today! And their replies were, " Oh my that's so horrible!"
I am quite glad to met local classmates and sometimes we will just chat randomly. I like this kind of feeling. It makes me feel more belonged to school when now I know many people, it's better than day 1. I can concentrate better in class now. This is the kind of adaptation I need in school. Well anyway, it's kinda funny when people come chat to me when I'm studying. Like there's this guy and few other classmates hala hala-ing together while I was busy mugging survival outside the com lab. Then next another classmate who is also taking same two midterms with me come talk to me too. Alot of others wish me good luck too! I feel so happy in school hahaha...
The feeling is so lousy. After midterms, have to work on assignments. It's with S.. assignmentS. Then have to study for midterms and chiong assignments at the same time. So sian...
It's so cute... Everyone ask about me today and realised I have two midterms today! And their replies were, " Oh my that's so horrible!"
I am quite glad to met local classmates and sometimes we will just chat randomly. I like this kind of feeling. It makes me feel more belonged to school when now I know many people, it's better than day 1. I can concentrate better in class now. This is the kind of adaptation I need in school. Well anyway, it's kinda funny when people come chat to me when I'm studying. Like there's this guy and few other classmates hala hala-ing together while I was busy mugging survival outside the com lab. Then next another classmate who is also taking same two midterms with me come talk to me too. Alot of others wish me good luck too! I feel so happy in school hahaha...
The feeling is so lousy. After midterms, have to work on assignments. It's with S.. assignmentS. Then have to study for midterms and chiong assignments at the same time. So sian...
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
I feel at ease after I skyped with my parents this morning. At the same time, I missed them so much too. Perhaps it's the constant contact with my family members made me miss home. I just miss home. I don't really miss the food in Singapore though. Still not yet that stage. I miss the accompany, the familiarity whenever I trot down anywhere in Singapore.
I have been feeling guilty for doing so badly in my studies. I still feel. I have chatted with my friends quite alot on this issue. Even why am I feeling so down. Roomie keep bringing her close guy friend back, which I think it's rather okay but too late at night. I feel disturbed too. And also perhaps I'm too stressed so to give her some attitude which after that I apologised for. But really arh, didn't know I would be upset til this kind of stage to be attitude with somebody totally unrelated. Seriously, something wrong with me, which explains the phase of social and emotional adjustment.
So long as my parents have no issues with my results, somehow I just take things too seriously. I should be able to do better. Yesterday's midterm was just, I could have more marks but I go and change my answer for many questions. Which is why I hated mcq exams so much.
Yes, Montreal trip I am coming soon!
I hope I can cheer up after Toronto. Though I'm going with people I don't really know how to communicate with most of the time. I will try.
I have been feeling guilty for doing so badly in my studies. I still feel. I have chatted with my friends quite alot on this issue. Even why am I feeling so down. Roomie keep bringing her close guy friend back, which I think it's rather okay but too late at night. I feel disturbed too. And also perhaps I'm too stressed so to give her some attitude which after that I apologised for. But really arh, didn't know I would be upset til this kind of stage to be attitude with somebody totally unrelated. Seriously, something wrong with me, which explains the phase of social and emotional adjustment.
So long as my parents have no issues with my results, somehow I just take things too seriously. I should be able to do better. Yesterday's midterm was just, I could have more marks but I go and change my answer for many questions. Which is why I hated mcq exams so much.
Yes, Montreal trip I am coming soon!
I hope I can cheer up after Toronto. Though I'm going with people I don't really know how to communicate with most of the time. I will try.
Monday, November 7, 2011
I haven't been doing academically well since the start of my exchange. Why is it?
I miss home, I feel distracted by many thoughts covering my mind. I feel socially unadjusted, well not to the Canadians here. But to the people whom I am with. Why do I meet this kind of Singaporeans here. If I am not a girl, I wouldn't have bothered much with them and don't have to tag them along. For that reason that I don't want to do anything alone, like travelling alone. I could have just live by my own, and do things by my own. I live better off alone. Of course, I will tag along with some friends to go places. But, I really live better off alone. Leave me alone!
There goes my midterm again. Changing too many instinct answers made me lose alot of marks. Got back my midterm today and I did really bad. It wasn't a difficult paper, guess I have not been studying too hard and banging on alot of luck. But still I guess it luck is still working a little bit well.
Roomie bought 2 chickens and I wonder how are we gonna eat that. It's way too much. and I spend the whole hour just now trying to cut the chicken. Seriously I don't know how am I gonna do that..
I hvae so less time to do so many things. Why??? I am on exchange!!!
I miss home, I feel distracted by many thoughts covering my mind. I feel socially unadjusted, well not to the Canadians here. But to the people whom I am with. Why do I meet this kind of Singaporeans here. If I am not a girl, I wouldn't have bothered much with them and don't have to tag them along. For that reason that I don't want to do anything alone, like travelling alone. I could have just live by my own, and do things by my own. I live better off alone. Of course, I will tag along with some friends to go places. But, I really live better off alone. Leave me alone!
There goes my midterm again. Changing too many instinct answers made me lose alot of marks. Got back my midterm today and I did really bad. It wasn't a difficult paper, guess I have not been studying too hard and banging on alot of luck. But still I guess it luck is still working a little bit well.
Roomie bought 2 chickens and I wonder how are we gonna eat that. It's way too much. and I spend the whole hour just now trying to cut the chicken. Seriously I don't know how am I gonna do that..
I hvae so less time to do so many things. Why??? I am on exchange!!!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Had a midterm on last Wednesday. Hope it is still not badly done. 35% weightage is kinda high.
I went to Debbie's house yesterday. I love her house. It's so cosy... just like so hotels or those houses that westerners live. Too bad we don't need this kind of structure housing in Singapore. They have a basement room. and the store room is even bigger than our whole house in Lambton. Met some new friends and they are pretty fun! We ate pizzas, wings, icecream and Pie! And also very interesting Singlish talk with some of them...
It was DST just now (Daylight Saving time). I still don't understand the rationale for it.. turning back time for 1 hour and then returning that hour again.. But it was a historic moment for me I guess.. Like as if I have gain one more hour in life. well anyway, alot asked, "What are you going to do in that hour?" I would think, I sleep!
Finally a day without having to step out of Lambton. I just wanna stay in and rest. And of course, study and finish my assignment.
I went to Debbie's house yesterday. I love her house. It's so cosy... just like so hotels or those houses that westerners live. Too bad we don't need this kind of structure housing in Singapore. They have a basement room. and the store room is even bigger than our whole house in Lambton. Met some new friends and they are pretty fun! We ate pizzas, wings, icecream and Pie! And also very interesting Singlish talk with some of them...
It was DST just now (Daylight Saving time). I still don't understand the rationale for it.. turning back time for 1 hour and then returning that hour again.. But it was a historic moment for me I guess.. Like as if I have gain one more hour in life. well anyway, alot asked, "What are you going to do in that hour?" I would think, I sleep!
Finally a day without having to step out of Lambton. I just wanna stay in and rest. And of course, study and finish my assignment.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Halloween House Party
It was a fun and tiring day today I guess.
I slept so late yesterday and woke up at 11am this morning. Time for lunch! And then me and leah head out to join the outdoor's halloween social at corn maize and pumpkin farm. It was a fun experience as we get to meet people, dressed up in halloween costumes. I just wore my hat and that's all.
I thought we will get to pick some corn. But it was really corn maze! rather than corn maize. Walked through the maze and we were on the other side of the farm, looking at pumpkins. We bought a small pumpkin too.
Then later on we went to a halloween house party near school. It is my first time entering a house! So excited. We dressed up again as characters. And everyone is going! That's the most fun part! We met other international students at the party as well. Ate pumpkin icing cookies, drink pop, and hang around, dance and socialise. I even tried pumpkin carving! IT's really interesting after you carve it and then lit the lights inside. Really nice! That was my favourite part of the night. At least I tried some culture thing different from singapore! It was really really a fun night. Met alot of friends and I truly enjoyed it!
I slept so late yesterday and woke up at 11am this morning. Time for lunch! And then me and leah head out to join the outdoor's halloween social at corn maize and pumpkin farm. It was a fun experience as we get to meet people, dressed up in halloween costumes. I just wore my hat and that's all.
I thought we will get to pick some corn. But it was really corn maze! rather than corn maize. Walked through the maze and we were on the other side of the farm, looking at pumpkins. We bought a small pumpkin too.
Then later on we went to a halloween house party near school. It is my first time entering a house! So excited. We dressed up again as characters. And everyone is going! That's the most fun part! We met other international students at the party as well. Ate pumpkin icing cookies, drink pop, and hang around, dance and socialise. I even tried pumpkin carving! IT's really interesting after you carve it and then lit the lights inside. Really nice! That was my favourite part of the night. At least I tried some culture thing different from singapore! It was really really a fun night. Met alot of friends and I truly enjoyed it!
Halloween Night Club!
I feel like an urge to blog now, though I should be sleeping. It's 4.15 am now in the wee hours.
I just came home from clubbing! Can you believe it? It's so late at night and I have never done this in the past before. We went to Rouge, a quite famous club in London, dressed in our halloween costumes. I dressed up as a witch, a studious one. I was really feeling very cold when we went for the ice hockey match. My roommate say, aiya short journey, no need to wear jeans! So I just wore my tights and out I go. I was feeling so cold. I realise I can't take it anymore and I just wore my winter socks and jeans when I go out for clubbing.
So ya, there I go. Wearing alot of layers, black coloured ones, and my ski jacket coat. And a scarf my uncle brought for me, along with my fake coloured hair and purple witch hat. I like my hat! Cuz it just cover my eyes. Mysterious. The girls help me put on some make up too. Somehow I thought I look really cool but with my specs on. It looks like... some fool having fun for Halloween.
We took a bus to down town and then cab on there to Rouge. It was quite a long queue, we had to queue to get inside. Waited for quite awhile. Saw many many of them dressed up. Some so funny, some so sexy and I don't know how they manage to do that. We went in around half an hour of wait. Got in and it was quite a huge place. Dark but full of disco lights. We first went to drank a shot, jingle bomb, taste like cough syrup, but I quite like it because it tastes something familiar. Then we just went on to the dance floor. I was just looking around. Observing people and the ambience there. The songs were very techno and it made my heart pounded very loudly. I kept on holding my heart. Scared it will drop. HAHAHAA!!! Then we went on to get the next shot. Turquilla. As usual it tastes that way. Hot inside. Then we went to the dance floor again. Dance dance dance. Suddenly, Ghis went blank and she passed out. She was dancing dancing and dancing, I guess she is too high but she doesn't know she lost her balance and couldn't stand properly. She fell towards us and the guys held her back. Then she laid down on her knees and we help her up. Got her ice water and rested there. I rested with her too. Can tell that she isn't feeling well. Probably drank too much at one go the first time. So I sat down and started to rest with her. Then a guy hit on me and ask me, "Do you want to go on the dance floor with me?" He was with another guy whom I think was still quite young. He touched my waist also! Ouch! But anyway, I rejected him, "OH sorry my friend wasn't feeling well and I got to accompany her." "Oh that's okay" Smiled and walk away. Then I got up to get another cup of ice water for her. The rest continued to dance and went back another time. Then I drank a sip from Calvin's drink he bought. Whiskey I think. I thought he was holding a cup of plain water haha!
Feeling really uncomfortable, she went inside the toilet and threw up her turquilla. Oh my, I was quite worried for her. We left the place as soon as possible. So sadly, there wasn't any cabs to reach. We walk all the way to downtown hoping to get on Mustang's Express but there wasn't anymore seats. We waited and sat along the streets. Some guys walked by and said, "you! Shame on you" Well whatever... I was just accompanying my friend. We walk and walk. And we saw another friend who were waiting for cab too. They even wore only a layer of dress and a coat. I wonder how they manage to do it on a cold night around 0 degree Celsius. We got 2 slices of pizza to share because we were very hungry and also, there isn't any cabs to hitch on. We wait for awhile and thus finally ruiming got a cab and ask me and leah on. And soon, we are back at 4am.
A cold freezing night. But it was an experience with a "supposed-to-be-nice" club. Well, it may be the last time I go. I tried my best to go since it was a Halloween night. To see the true colours of people.
I just came home from clubbing! Can you believe it? It's so late at night and I have never done this in the past before. We went to Rouge, a quite famous club in London, dressed in our halloween costumes. I dressed up as a witch, a studious one. I was really feeling very cold when we went for the ice hockey match. My roommate say, aiya short journey, no need to wear jeans! So I just wore my tights and out I go. I was feeling so cold. I realise I can't take it anymore and I just wore my winter socks and jeans when I go out for clubbing.
So ya, there I go. Wearing alot of layers, black coloured ones, and my ski jacket coat. And a scarf my uncle brought for me, along with my fake coloured hair and purple witch hat. I like my hat! Cuz it just cover my eyes. Mysterious. The girls help me put on some make up too. Somehow I thought I look really cool but with my specs on. It looks like... some fool having fun for Halloween.
We took a bus to down town and then cab on there to Rouge. It was quite a long queue, we had to queue to get inside. Waited for quite awhile. Saw many many of them dressed up. Some so funny, some so sexy and I don't know how they manage to do that. We went in around half an hour of wait. Got in and it was quite a huge place. Dark but full of disco lights. We first went to drank a shot, jingle bomb, taste like cough syrup, but I quite like it because it tastes something familiar. Then we just went on to the dance floor. I was just looking around. Observing people and the ambience there. The songs were very techno and it made my heart pounded very loudly. I kept on holding my heart. Scared it will drop. HAHAHAA!!! Then we went on to get the next shot. Turquilla. As usual it tastes that way. Hot inside. Then we went to the dance floor again. Dance dance dance. Suddenly, Ghis went blank and she passed out. She was dancing dancing and dancing, I guess she is too high but she doesn't know she lost her balance and couldn't stand properly. She fell towards us and the guys held her back. Then she laid down on her knees and we help her up. Got her ice water and rested there. I rested with her too. Can tell that she isn't feeling well. Probably drank too much at one go the first time. So I sat down and started to rest with her. Then a guy hit on me and ask me, "Do you want to go on the dance floor with me?" He was with another guy whom I think was still quite young. He touched my waist also! Ouch! But anyway, I rejected him, "OH sorry my friend wasn't feeling well and I got to accompany her." "Oh that's okay" Smiled and walk away. Then I got up to get another cup of ice water for her. The rest continued to dance and went back another time. Then I drank a sip from Calvin's drink he bought. Whiskey I think. I thought he was holding a cup of plain water haha!
Feeling really uncomfortable, she went inside the toilet and threw up her turquilla. Oh my, I was quite worried for her. We left the place as soon as possible. So sadly, there wasn't any cabs to reach. We walk all the way to downtown hoping to get on Mustang's Express but there wasn't anymore seats. We waited and sat along the streets. Some guys walked by and said, "you! Shame on you" Well whatever... I was just accompanying my friend. We walk and walk. And we saw another friend who were waiting for cab too. They even wore only a layer of dress and a coat. I wonder how they manage to do it on a cold night around 0 degree Celsius. We got 2 slices of pizza to share because we were very hungry and also, there isn't any cabs to hitch on. We wait for awhile and thus finally ruiming got a cab and ask me and leah on. And soon, we are back at 4am.
A cold freezing night. But it was an experience with a "supposed-to-be-nice" club. Well, it may be the last time I go. I tried my best to go since it was a Halloween night. To see the true colours of people.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Finally a week without midterms but there are assignments due. I guess the only week without any "thing" on my calender was week 1, when I just started school. And time flies, now it is week 7 for me! half way through... what a pity they don't have something called "recess week"...
I am beginning to 看开 about them. They want to talk to me, talk, don't want, I don't care. They want to be good to me, so be it. Maybe because it's me so that's why I'm like that. Like what they say, I'm very different from them and I think I am more irrational and do things by emotions and feelings. I am a women of principles! (Wah, I can't believe I said this.. HAHA) Thank you all my friends who tio-ed my ranting last week.
In quite good mood this week. Tried alot of cooking, especially soup. I want to try more before I go back to Singapore. I don't think I will dare to cook with fire.
Well, at least I found people of the same pattern as me. So not all people are like them! Which is a good thing. Am I really that boring to be with?
It's Halloween this week, kind of curious what is going on. But kinda dreaded the weekend too. It's gonna be fun but tiring because we are out for two days. I hope I have time to rest and catch up with my studies. I am slow in my studies and I am still slacking now. Oh well, yes I am an exchange student. Should go out and play right? If I let my roomie see this arh, she sure kill me! =P
I am kind of glad that she is my roomie. because without her, I alone, would never really dare to try alot of things like joining outdoors club, and kitchen club too. At least she talks to me, keeps me belong, and also sometimes talk to me about my problems and never really avoid my questions. At least there is someone who knows what I am thinking. And we just realised both of us doesn't like to eat fish balls in particular!
I am beginning to 看开 about them. They want to talk to me, talk, don't want, I don't care. They want to be good to me, so be it. Maybe because it's me so that's why I'm like that. Like what they say, I'm very different from them and I think I am more irrational and do things by emotions and feelings. I am a women of principles! (Wah, I can't believe I said this.. HAHA) Thank you all my friends who tio-ed my ranting last week.
In quite good mood this week. Tried alot of cooking, especially soup. I want to try more before I go back to Singapore. I don't think I will dare to cook with fire.
Well, at least I found people of the same pattern as me. So not all people are like them! Which is a good thing. Am I really that boring to be with?
It's Halloween this week, kind of curious what is going on. But kinda dreaded the weekend too. It's gonna be fun but tiring because we are out for two days. I hope I have time to rest and catch up with my studies. I am slow in my studies and I am still slacking now. Oh well, yes I am an exchange student. Should go out and play right? If I let my roomie see this arh, she sure kill me! =P
I am kind of glad that she is my roomie. because without her, I alone, would never really dare to try alot of things like joining outdoors club, and kitchen club too. At least she talks to me, keeps me belong, and also sometimes talk to me about my problems and never really avoid my questions. At least there is someone who knows what I am thinking. And we just realised both of us doesn't like to eat fish balls in particular!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
I really dislike the way I am being treated
Wasted my 5 hours of life today discussing this stupid assignment. If I had known how to do, I wouldn't want to do assignment with them! What is the point of having a 3 man group but only 2 people are discussing? They just completely leave me out of the conversation. Be it travelling, playing, eating, even doing assignment. To them, I am just a follower or a leecher.
Go my toilet, never flush, need me to help flush. So damn disgusting lah! Please lah...
I am still considering if to go for the conference. Ask about what is it, like not willing to tell me. Also don't wanna let me know the plans for Toronto. Just because they think I am not the kind who will skip lessons. Fine... I shall not skip and miss the trip. Anyway, I will be going to Toronto after exams too. But I guess the conference is really interesting. Should I ? Should I not? I really feel very sian...
I had fun in the outdoor trip today. though I went with Seria but throughout I walked pretty much alone too. I guess people here are not the sticky sticky kind. Wah, the mud is really disgusting and it destroyed my shoes. I had no idea that it was the dirty trail today. But everything was fun and I enjoyed myself looking at nature and scenary. Pretty much getting away from normal routine. My weekdays are burnt again. No time to catch up with my stuff.
Thank so much roomie for talking out with me my problems. I think she also realised that I was quite angry on that day. Well I guess I was tired and completely bored down by them...
Go my toilet, never flush, need me to help flush. So damn disgusting lah! Please lah...
I am still considering if to go for the conference. Ask about what is it, like not willing to tell me. Also don't wanna let me know the plans for Toronto. Just because they think I am not the kind who will skip lessons. Fine... I shall not skip and miss the trip. Anyway, I will be going to Toronto after exams too. But I guess the conference is really interesting. Should I ? Should I not? I really feel very sian...
I had fun in the outdoor trip today. though I went with Seria but throughout I walked pretty much alone too. I guess people here are not the sticky sticky kind. Wah, the mud is really disgusting and it destroyed my shoes. I had no idea that it was the dirty trail today. But everything was fun and I enjoyed myself looking at nature and scenary. Pretty much getting away from normal routine. My weekdays are burnt again. No time to catch up with my stuff.
Thank so much roomie for talking out with me my problems. I think she also realised that I was quite angry on that day. Well I guess I was tired and completely bored down by them...
Friday, October 21, 2011
两头不到岸
I don't want to 两头不到岸... seriously.
I come here to experience the life of a Canada student in university. None did I expect that the culture is quite different from me. Especially the partying part. I don't enjoy partying. Rather, I don't enjoy partying with the wrong people that I don't feel comfortable initially to begin with. I can proudly say I have been to one, to experience it. But I don't really enjoy. So there is no point continuing with this.
My parents told me to concentrate on my studies. At the same time, I would also want to travel around to see see look look. Travelling has always been my wish and dream. However, with the "wrong people" I am with now, plus, studies have been flopping. I really really lose this momentum and motivation. And my parents don't like the idea of me going to too many places around. Which is why sometimes I am bounded with dilemmas, constraints, people don't understand that. Background is different. Stop expecting my life to be the same as others.
Got back my midterms today, as expected. But I didn't expect myself to pass. Still, second lowest in class. So what if I attend classes every day? Most of the time, I am either tired, or not paying attention. I want to pay full attention! I tell myself I will. What happen to the spirit then? Why do people play as hard as me, and also study harder than me? When I appear to study harder than them, but apparently I'm not? When I am distracted by personal feelings, I can't concentrate at all. It's week 6 already. Why am I feeling so tired? I guess I have been lazing around doing other unconstructive things. I need more time. I always have lesser time than other people to do more things that I want.
I hope midterms today will be good. I tried my best to write everything I can think of. At least it it not that bad lah.
I made decision to go for the outdoor trip tomorrow. I seriously feel like idiot for creating the picnic page when it was already known that the picnic will be held tomorrow. I'm sorry to say, I wasn't inform at all so ya... I take it as nothing happen. I'm quite excited to go and meet new people. Initially I thought it is better to take courses with someone else I know. But now it feels like, I could have gone alone and go classes alone. That's what most of the Canadian students here are doing. Well anyway, I hope tomorrow's trip is gonna turn out fun!
I come here to experience the life of a Canada student in university. None did I expect that the culture is quite different from me. Especially the partying part. I don't enjoy partying. Rather, I don't enjoy partying with the wrong people that I don't feel comfortable initially to begin with. I can proudly say I have been to one, to experience it. But I don't really enjoy. So there is no point continuing with this.
My parents told me to concentrate on my studies. At the same time, I would also want to travel around to see see look look. Travelling has always been my wish and dream. However, with the "wrong people" I am with now, plus, studies have been flopping. I really really lose this momentum and motivation. And my parents don't like the idea of me going to too many places around. Which is why sometimes I am bounded with dilemmas, constraints, people don't understand that. Background is different. Stop expecting my life to be the same as others.
Got back my midterms today, as expected. But I didn't expect myself to pass. Still, second lowest in class. So what if I attend classes every day? Most of the time, I am either tired, or not paying attention. I want to pay full attention! I tell myself I will. What happen to the spirit then? Why do people play as hard as me, and also study harder than me? When I appear to study harder than them, but apparently I'm not? When I am distracted by personal feelings, I can't concentrate at all. It's week 6 already. Why am I feeling so tired? I guess I have been lazing around doing other unconstructive things. I need more time. I always have lesser time than other people to do more things that I want.
I hope midterms today will be good. I tried my best to write everything I can think of. At least it it not that bad lah.
I made decision to go for the outdoor trip tomorrow. I seriously feel like idiot for creating the picnic page when it was already known that the picnic will be held tomorrow. I'm sorry to say, I wasn't inform at all so ya... I take it as nothing happen. I'm quite excited to go and meet new people. Initially I thought it is better to take courses with someone else I know. But now it feels like, I could have gone alone and go classes alone. That's what most of the Canadian students here are doing. Well anyway, I hope tomorrow's trip is gonna turn out fun!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Is it because my expectations of everything are held too high?
I am just angry with myself for not putting enough effort into the test today. The questions are just repeated from lecture and I didn't bother to go thru line by line. End up I don't know how to do most questions. Fail liao lor like that. Yes Yes all of you all must be thinking ya it's just pass fail so don't worry. But afterall the grades will somehow be reflected on the transcript and it is not nice to just pass everything right. I still want to do well and give in my best, even though I am on exchange. And also, I still want to continue doing other things too. Even though it is just a midterm paper. I feel really really lousy. Never did I do badly before. My parents must be mad at me.
Is it because of new environment? Distractions? New style of learning?
No excuses. I am just plain too tired, distracted, not paying much attention in class, dozing off most of the time (which I really seldom do in NTU), chiong last minute assignments (never ever did I do that before), just merely touching and going unprepared for a test.
I need to buck up and move on in life!
Seriously, it's a bad day today. So tiring, after a long day at lessons, and a lousy midterm paper. Plus, the stormy weather makes me so drenched and brain freeze on my way back. I never felt so 狼狈 before. I thought I could have a decent dinner when I got home, but apparently, I have to cook... when I end my lessons so late. Nevermind, the rice is so sucky... Atrocious dinner, and it has nothing to do with my pork, seriously.
Is it the problem with me? First, going to lessons with me seems a boring thing and showing me black faces all the time? Having to not reply me properly when I ask a question, even though the question is stupid. Second, having to keep putting words into my mouth whenever I say something of my own opinion and infer some meaning not of the intended message. Assuming that I do well in anything when actually I am not. No you can't judge! Third, insisting on cooking but when it's your turn, it will suddenly become my turn to cook. I'm not against it and I have been sacrificing most of my sleep and studying time just to cook. So what if you need to study, I also have to study right? And leaving everything in the kitchen UNATTENDED. I thought I am a lazy and dirty person that's why my mum always have to nag at me, but apparently I can't stand the mess in the kitchen. Wanting to sleep more and having to cook each meal before the night, making it so unhealthy. And just because some people suggested you to cook a big pot of rice, leave in the kitchen, sprinkle water and heat it up whenever you want to eat... you really suggested it to me, and this results in a straight NO in your face.
Did I meet the wrong group of people? Or is it simply the problem with me?
Is it because of new environment? Distractions? New style of learning?
No excuses. I am just plain too tired, distracted, not paying much attention in class, dozing off most of the time (which I really seldom do in NTU), chiong last minute assignments (never ever did I do that before), just merely touching and going unprepared for a test.
I need to buck up and move on in life!
Seriously, it's a bad day today. So tiring, after a long day at lessons, and a lousy midterm paper. Plus, the stormy weather makes me so drenched and brain freeze on my way back. I never felt so 狼狈 before. I thought I could have a decent dinner when I got home, but apparently, I have to cook... when I end my lessons so late. Nevermind, the rice is so sucky... Atrocious dinner, and it has nothing to do with my pork, seriously.
Is it the problem with me? First, going to lessons with me seems a boring thing and showing me black faces all the time? Having to not reply me properly when I ask a question, even though the question is stupid. Second, having to keep putting words into my mouth whenever I say something of my own opinion and infer some meaning not of the intended message. Assuming that I do well in anything when actually I am not. No you can't judge! Third, insisting on cooking but when it's your turn, it will suddenly become my turn to cook. I'm not against it and I have been sacrificing most of my sleep and studying time just to cook. So what if you need to study, I also have to study right? And leaving everything in the kitchen UNATTENDED. I thought I am a lazy and dirty person that's why my mum always have to nag at me, but apparently I can't stand the mess in the kitchen. Wanting to sleep more and having to cook each meal before the night, making it so unhealthy. And just because some people suggested you to cook a big pot of rice, leave in the kitchen, sprinkle water and heat it up whenever you want to eat... you really suggested it to me, and this results in a straight NO in your face.
Did I meet the wrong group of people? Or is it simply the problem with me?
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Lesson learnt again, don't leave anything cooking unattended. I thought it was okay to turn up the boiling of the soup to 5. Never did I thought the water could actually disappear to only half of it remaining when I came back from my friend's room. Luckily nothing happen to the stove or my pot, it's just half the amount gone. There goes our herbal soup. Well anyway, Ghis made great pies! I am going to do it once I'm back in Singapore.
3 Midterms this week. One down. I hope I am managing well after a very lousy midterm I had last week. I really want to give in my best, although it's just pass fail. Afterall, the grades will be reflected on their transcript right? Yaya, we are exchange students so we should not work hard. But you are first a student, and then a student on exchange wad... Well I think very straightly.
I am not studying for my midterm tmr!! How can? I am still slacking and lazing around, too tired..
Seriously, my roomie really chu stunt yesterday. Going out late in the middle of the night to buy bubble tea with a guy. -_-'' I was quite worried til I tried to wait for her. But in the end, she is not back yet! Luckily today I still can survive well in class. How can a girl agree to go out late in the middle of a night with a guy she don't know really well.
Today I cook pork chop rice! It looks nice! haha...
3 Midterms this week. One down. I hope I am managing well after a very lousy midterm I had last week. I really want to give in my best, although it's just pass fail. Afterall, the grades will be reflected on their transcript right? Yaya, we are exchange students so we should not work hard. But you are first a student, and then a student on exchange wad... Well I think very straightly.
I am not studying for my midterm tmr!! How can? I am still slacking and lazing around, too tired..
Seriously, my roomie really chu stunt yesterday. Going out late in the middle of the night to buy bubble tea with a guy. -_-'' I was quite worried til I tried to wait for her. But in the end, she is not back yet! Luckily today I still can survive well in class. How can a girl agree to go out late in the middle of a night with a guy she don't know really well.
Today I cook pork chop rice! It looks nice! haha...
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Karaoke with Bruce
Oh yea.. this week is filled with assignments deadline and midterms. Well the next week too...
I admit I really didn't put in much effort into my work. When I am in front of the computer I will be happily uploading my pictures onto facebook and waste my time looking at other things. Assignments too, I never ever in my life will chiong my assignments the night before I hand in. Surprisingly I did that here. Well, my midterm was lousy! I memorised things wrongly, as usual, but I didn't leave any question blank as usual too. Just anyhow whack. But it was lousy. I scared I fail. I know I shouldn't take it so seriously here. But I am the kind of person who wants to put in effort to do anything well, although that thing doesn't really mean alot to me in the end.
So I was so mind preoccupied, I need to relax. Went to the gym and decided I should go to the wings buffet although I have already said earlier I don't want to go. Plus, I heard Audrey they all going. So the more the merrier, and we are going to a new place! Karaoke with Bruce. at least not the same place with the same 3 people. I am not saying that they are boring, just that it will all be the same again. It's kinda sian in that sense. I want to try things different, and with different people each time. We had a fun time there sharing and chatting, about relationships. Since we hardly will get together, so many of us chatting. That will be like once every 2 weeks. Haha, I enjoyed the time with them. I enjoyed the beer too. Surprisingly I don't find it weird tasting anymore. Not like when I first drank it. It tastes nice together with medium hot wings! I enjoyed myself, seriously. And also the karaoke session that some other people went up to sing. It was funny! HAHA!!! But we can't take the way people are singing, too "pleasantly" so we left the place. Nice chill!
I admit I really didn't put in much effort into my work. When I am in front of the computer I will be happily uploading my pictures onto facebook and waste my time looking at other things. Assignments too, I never ever in my life will chiong my assignments the night before I hand in. Surprisingly I did that here. Well, my midterm was lousy! I memorised things wrongly, as usual, but I didn't leave any question blank as usual too. Just anyhow whack. But it was lousy. I scared I fail. I know I shouldn't take it so seriously here. But I am the kind of person who wants to put in effort to do anything well, although that thing doesn't really mean alot to me in the end.
So I was so mind preoccupied, I need to relax. Went to the gym and decided I should go to the wings buffet although I have already said earlier I don't want to go. Plus, I heard Audrey they all going. So the more the merrier, and we are going to a new place! Karaoke with Bruce. at least not the same place with the same 3 people. I am not saying that they are boring, just that it will all be the same again. It's kinda sian in that sense. I want to try things different, and with different people each time. We had a fun time there sharing and chatting, about relationships. Since we hardly will get together, so many of us chatting. That will be like once every 2 weeks. Haha, I enjoyed the time with them. I enjoyed the beer too. Surprisingly I don't find it weird tasting anymore. Not like when I first drank it. It tastes nice together with medium hot wings! I enjoyed myself, seriously. And also the karaoke session that some other people went up to sing. It was funny! HAHA!!! But we can't take the way people are singing, too "pleasantly" so we left the place. Nice chill!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Stop putting me through decisions!
Las Vegas? Yes? No?
NO!
So sad right?
When I get distracted, I will stop doing other things and keep thinking about it.
This afternoon I was overwhelmed, once again, with the decision of going to the states. Yes again. Last week it was Florida, this week it was Las Vegas. I was actually more tempted with Florida, going with people I am not close with. But now, it's Las Vegas! A place where I wanted to go so badly last month but completely given up this month. I guess what I really want out of travel is that, I want to make it worth it. Not just paying alot for air tickets and accommodation. I was more inclined to explore more Canada places than the States because I would really love to come back again with my parents, visiting my Uncle and some other nearby places, like the canyon, LV, and California. Having stayed here in Canada for close to a month, I feel that, what I really like is scenery, enjoying something of their nature. As for shopping, eating buffet, and playing casino (Well, I can do that next time), I would rather give it a miss. Those are activities I can do anytime, no need to go LV to do that. But ya, I would enjoy the lights and the shows. I mean, I rather go somewhere that is super exclusive. You may think that I am very stingy, since I'm already here. However, I really think that, from London, travelling to other places is seriously very expensive. I know my father is upset with me going here and there... and I seriously don't know that he doesn't know I'm flying off with two other guys when I left. Maybe my mum helped me keep alot of secrets. Well, the problem with going out of your own comfort zone.
At this age, many people are already flying all over the world. Well, I know of alot Caucasians travelling around at ages even younger than me. I can make my own decisions now. I know I can, all the decisions actually lie with me whether I want to do it or not. It's just that 我过不了我自己这一关 to not listen to my mum. How old already still listen to her right? But I always feel that, she knows me best and know what is right or wrong for me. Sometimes I do things without thinking properly. Well at least this time round, I already decided on my decision, but just wanted to call her to assure me. And yes I am right. It is always proven true this way. There will only be one thing that even she don't allow, I will still go for it. That is, if I meet my Mr. Right. Really really correct guy. Frankly, I don't want to go through what she had gone through now. Alright, I shall not sidetrack. I have already wasted 3 hours of doing nothing. But I still need to get this off and done with.
Alot of friends ask me to just go! But I cannot say just go means go. I need to consider a few things first, money, time, studies. Alright I don't need to really be that dead serious about studies but still, I got to keep a minimum level right. I am not serious about studies here. Because most of the time I am dreaming away, distracted with my other things. My mum doesn't understand about the "concept" of exchange here. Perhaps she just want to play safe and make sure I am not doing the "wrong" things. Because she doesn't want me to skip lessons with the excuse of "going to travel". Well, I bet there will be chances of me doing this. At my own expense. I hope I won't be skipping too much, though I am paid to study. Still, she doesn't wish to waste that kind of hard earned money and time. A woman of principles. I wonder if this parenting concept will stay through the next century. She must be glad that I am a good daughter who listens to her.
Don't be sad for my missed trip! I am not sad. Though I really think I missed out a good deal. Because I am pretty sure I will come back to the States. So, I will not visit a second time to places.
I am pretty much indecisive and easily shakened person. I will work on it to become better!
I still think LV is pretty off our places. That's why I say it is a dilemma. Nevermind, at least I am going to Montreal and Quebec. Maybe I am feeling homesick too. Hmm... Well I feel much better because as days go on, I know exactly what I really want now.
NO!
So sad right?
When I get distracted, I will stop doing other things and keep thinking about it.
This afternoon I was overwhelmed, once again, with the decision of going to the states. Yes again. Last week it was Florida, this week it was Las Vegas. I was actually more tempted with Florida, going with people I am not close with. But now, it's Las Vegas! A place where I wanted to go so badly last month but completely given up this month. I guess what I really want out of travel is that, I want to make it worth it. Not just paying alot for air tickets and accommodation. I was more inclined to explore more Canada places than the States because I would really love to come back again with my parents, visiting my Uncle and some other nearby places, like the canyon, LV, and California. Having stayed here in Canada for close to a month, I feel that, what I really like is scenery, enjoying something of their nature. As for shopping, eating buffet, and playing casino (Well, I can do that next time), I would rather give it a miss. Those are activities I can do anytime, no need to go LV to do that. But ya, I would enjoy the lights and the shows. I mean, I rather go somewhere that is super exclusive. You may think that I am very stingy, since I'm already here. However, I really think that, from London, travelling to other places is seriously very expensive. I know my father is upset with me going here and there... and I seriously don't know that he doesn't know I'm flying off with two other guys when I left. Maybe my mum helped me keep alot of secrets. Well, the problem with going out of your own comfort zone.
At this age, many people are already flying all over the world. Well, I know of alot Caucasians travelling around at ages even younger than me. I can make my own decisions now. I know I can, all the decisions actually lie with me whether I want to do it or not. It's just that 我过不了我自己这一关 to not listen to my mum. How old already still listen to her right? But I always feel that, she knows me best and know what is right or wrong for me. Sometimes I do things without thinking properly. Well at least this time round, I already decided on my decision, but just wanted to call her to assure me. And yes I am right. It is always proven true this way. There will only be one thing that even she don't allow, I will still go for it. That is, if I meet my Mr. Right. Really really correct guy. Frankly, I don't want to go through what she had gone through now. Alright, I shall not sidetrack. I have already wasted 3 hours of doing nothing. But I still need to get this off and done with.
Alot of friends ask me to just go! But I cannot say just go means go. I need to consider a few things first, money, time, studies. Alright I don't need to really be that dead serious about studies but still, I got to keep a minimum level right. I am not serious about studies here. Because most of the time I am dreaming away, distracted with my other things. My mum doesn't understand about the "concept" of exchange here. Perhaps she just want to play safe and make sure I am not doing the "wrong" things. Because she doesn't want me to skip lessons with the excuse of "going to travel". Well, I bet there will be chances of me doing this. At my own expense. I hope I won't be skipping too much, though I am paid to study. Still, she doesn't wish to waste that kind of hard earned money and time. A woman of principles. I wonder if this parenting concept will stay through the next century. She must be glad that I am a good daughter who listens to her.
Don't be sad for my missed trip! I am not sad. Though I really think I missed out a good deal. Because I am pretty sure I will come back to the States. So, I will not visit a second time to places.
I am pretty much indecisive and easily shakened person. I will work on it to become better!
I still think LV is pretty off our places. That's why I say it is a dilemma. Nevermind, at least I am going to Montreal and Quebec. Maybe I am feeling homesick too. Hmm... Well I feel much better because as days go on, I know exactly what I really want now.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
And I'm back from Thanksgiving!
My friends and I went on a trip to Canada's Wonderland, Niagara falls and USA buffalo. It was rather pleasant, perhaps we have one more member that is with us! Plus plus the weather is so fantastic. Not too cold, and not too hot.
It was a 2 hour drive from hall to Wonderland. Wonderland is a theme park in Canada. Perhaps we have gone to more famous themeparks and Disneyland, I feel that Wonderland is just a place full of thrill rides. I was so scared of by the first ride because it was so fast! and did quite a number of turns. I can't take turns, but I can take heights. I was considering to go for the skydiving too. So for the next ride, I rest a little. There were not much "roller coasters" as I had expected. More of thrilling rides. In particular, there was this ride called wild beast, it kinda seemed dangerous because the wooden structure gave off some squeaky sound that it appears to be fragile, but I like the ride though. I sat the droptower for 2 times, the second time manage to capture the scenary up, it was fun and exciting too!
In the end, I didn't try skydiving... but nevermind, I had a fair share of rides today. What a pity the waterpark is closed for winter. So we didn't manage to take any ride there.
We drove off to Niagara falls then. We reached by night time so we didn't catch a glimpse of the Niagara falls. Instead, we went to the hostel to put down our stuff and then went out to jalan jalan, I didn't know there were so much attractions nearby the falls! Very nice! And we went to casino for the first time. An eye exposure. It was so much fun then partying, seriously... Partying is just so meaningless, with people you are not close with.
The next morning we woke up so early for a breakfast buffet. I am not the buffet person and as usual, didn't eat much. Then we went off to see the falls, and to take the maid of the mist! It was very fun, but wet til I can't see anything at some moment, and the sun was shining strongly. I don't care and took out my camera to take photos, and then it got drenched. I got drenched by the falls too. We then walked around everywhere, and I bought super lots of souvenirs. I can't resist the temptation of it. It's sheer waste of money. HAHA!
Tried alot of chocolate today, oh my, it's gonna get heaty. OH yes, I got too hungry so I went to buy Indian lamb curry. It has been a long time since I last had it . $17 was quite worth but abit too expensive. Then we went to eat Hard Rock Cafe! So exciting! It's just special because it's internationally renowned, and I bought a badge of it. At night, I went to the Skywheel with Ghis, though it's another money wasted, but I love it. At least I get to sit on my favourite Ferris Wheel and saw the multi coloured light on the falls! Then, we went to the Casino again... not bad, Cal won some money. HAHA! I don't dare to play any.
The next day was the most dreaded day for me in the trip. Shopping at Buffalo! Luckily there isn't much clothes to shop for else I will be bored. In the end, I bought a pair of shoes, a clip on sunglass and a Coach bag. I finally got myself some branded stuff. Once in a while. I like it, hope my mum likes it too. Then I was so worried about getting tax, but the officer that we went through is good. So, we came back safe and sound!
I really hope the next stop I make is Montreal!
It was a 2 hour drive from hall to Wonderland. Wonderland is a theme park in Canada. Perhaps we have gone to more famous themeparks and Disneyland, I feel that Wonderland is just a place full of thrill rides. I was so scared of by the first ride because it was so fast! and did quite a number of turns. I can't take turns, but I can take heights. I was considering to go for the skydiving too. So for the next ride, I rest a little. There were not much "roller coasters" as I had expected. More of thrilling rides. In particular, there was this ride called wild beast, it kinda seemed dangerous because the wooden structure gave off some squeaky sound that it appears to be fragile, but I like the ride though. I sat the droptower for 2 times, the second time manage to capture the scenary up, it was fun and exciting too!
In the end, I didn't try skydiving... but nevermind, I had a fair share of rides today. What a pity the waterpark is closed for winter. So we didn't manage to take any ride there.
We drove off to Niagara falls then. We reached by night time so we didn't catch a glimpse of the Niagara falls. Instead, we went to the hostel to put down our stuff and then went out to jalan jalan, I didn't know there were so much attractions nearby the falls! Very nice! And we went to casino for the first time. An eye exposure. It was so much fun then partying, seriously... Partying is just so meaningless, with people you are not close with.
The next morning we woke up so early for a breakfast buffet. I am not the buffet person and as usual, didn't eat much. Then we went off to see the falls, and to take the maid of the mist! It was very fun, but wet til I can't see anything at some moment, and the sun was shining strongly. I don't care and took out my camera to take photos, and then it got drenched. I got drenched by the falls too. We then walked around everywhere, and I bought super lots of souvenirs. I can't resist the temptation of it. It's sheer waste of money. HAHA!
Tried alot of chocolate today, oh my, it's gonna get heaty. OH yes, I got too hungry so I went to buy Indian lamb curry. It has been a long time since I last had it . $17 was quite worth but abit too expensive. Then we went to eat Hard Rock Cafe! So exciting! It's just special because it's internationally renowned, and I bought a badge of it. At night, I went to the Skywheel with Ghis, though it's another money wasted, but I love it. At least I get to sit on my favourite Ferris Wheel and saw the multi coloured light on the falls! Then, we went to the Casino again... not bad, Cal won some money. HAHA! I don't dare to play any.
The next day was the most dreaded day for me in the trip. Shopping at Buffalo! Luckily there isn't much clothes to shop for else I will be bored. In the end, I bought a pair of shoes, a clip on sunglass and a Coach bag. I finally got myself some branded stuff. Once in a while. I like it, hope my mum likes it too. Then I was so worried about getting tax, but the officer that we went through is good. So, we came back safe and sound!
I really hope the next stop I make is Montreal!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Ethiopia Restaurant & Apple Picking
Two cool things I did this two days. It's such a great experience this week, my birthday week!
I went to an Ethopian restaurant with the kitchen and dining club. Met some new friends there. It's really a nice experience and eye exposure. I mean, I am glad that there are still things to do here in London. And we really just go and eat the food. It took us quite fast though. We ordered the platter and it was so big. The ambience was so nice. And we even pack the leftovers home for lunch next day.
Today, I went to an apple picking trip with the outdoor's club. It was really really fun. I really enjoyed this kind of experience. Picking apples. Looking at other stuff. Big pumpkins. Different types of apples. Tasting different apples. We are just eating and eating apples. Apples buffet! Well, I think Leah did more climbing of trees than me because I was just carrying too much apples! We took home alot alot of apples! Way more than the limit. Well, I bought a big bag that's why.
I begin to believe that, I am right to come here for exchange. Which is a good thing. My mind is still not focused.
Oh well, some of the exchange students went to the Lambton Party and free pizza. I was so full I ate 3. And some chips and pop. It was a nice get together though again, we didn't mingle alot. The guys and us went to Saugeen's to explore around. And we then walked back together. Haha, it was a fun day!
Liying lend me a boiler and a flask. So nice of her! I don't have to drink weird tasting water anymore! And I can wake up slightly late to make my breakfast.
I went to an Ethopian restaurant with the kitchen and dining club. Met some new friends there. It's really a nice experience and eye exposure. I mean, I am glad that there are still things to do here in London. And we really just go and eat the food. It took us quite fast though. We ordered the platter and it was so big. The ambience was so nice. And we even pack the leftovers home for lunch next day.
Today, I went to an apple picking trip with the outdoor's club. It was really really fun. I really enjoyed this kind of experience. Picking apples. Looking at other stuff. Big pumpkins. Different types of apples. Tasting different apples. We are just eating and eating apples. Apples buffet! Well, I think Leah did more climbing of trees than me because I was just carrying too much apples! We took home alot alot of apples! Way more than the limit. Well, I bought a big bag that's why.
I begin to believe that, I am right to come here for exchange. Which is a good thing. My mind is still not focused.
Oh well, some of the exchange students went to the Lambton Party and free pizza. I was so full I ate 3. And some chips and pop. It was a nice get together though again, we didn't mingle alot. The guys and us went to Saugeen's to explore around. And we then walked back together. Haha, it was a fun day!
Liying lend me a boiler and a flask. So nice of her! I don't have to drink weird tasting water anymore! And I can wake up slightly late to make my breakfast.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
4 Oct: Paper Art Club
The weather was just great today. Why isn't today my birthday?
And I receive email in the morning that my mail has arrived! Oh, even greater thing to celebrate about. I cooked pasta today, as usual, I took a long time to cook. But it turn out nice! Yummy...
I realised I have alot of assignments not done! Oh my god...
I met my peer guide today. She looks quite different the last time I saw her. She introduce me to alot of places that I can go. And she also wants to organise alot of different outings, which I think not many peer guides will do. However, I think she is a very crazy kind of party girl, and really does alot of things under the sun. I can't imagine that, judging from her facebook photos. Okay, I shouldn't jump to any conclusions. We shall see then. Just looking forward to little adventures that I can see. We chatted for almost an hour and I nearly forgot that I have a lesson to go.
Today is my first day of CCA, paper art club. I joined this CCA just for fun. See see look look around. Met a new friend, she is a first year student. Most of the people finish making a 3d 8 point star. But both of us didn't manage to finish it because we don't have enough papers. And we also concentrated on other ways of making 3d model. It was quite therapeutic, a way to relax after class. However, there could have been more interaction around though. People didn't usually introduce themselves, and it's really a "paper art making" event. They leave or come as and when they like. Good and bad in a sense. I hope to know more people here. Well, at least I made a new friend today.
And I receive email in the morning that my mail has arrived! Oh, even greater thing to celebrate about. I cooked pasta today, as usual, I took a long time to cook. But it turn out nice! Yummy...
I realised I have alot of assignments not done! Oh my god...
I met my peer guide today. She looks quite different the last time I saw her. She introduce me to alot of places that I can go. And she also wants to organise alot of different outings, which I think not many peer guides will do. However, I think she is a very crazy kind of party girl, and really does alot of things under the sun. I can't imagine that, judging from her facebook photos. Okay, I shouldn't jump to any conclusions. We shall see then. Just looking forward to little adventures that I can see. We chatted for almost an hour and I nearly forgot that I have a lesson to go.
Today is my first day of CCA, paper art club. I joined this CCA just for fun. See see look look around. Met a new friend, she is a first year student. Most of the people finish making a 3d 8 point star. But both of us didn't manage to finish it because we don't have enough papers. And we also concentrated on other ways of making 3d model. It was quite therapeutic, a way to relax after class. However, there could have been more interaction around though. People didn't usually introduce themselves, and it's really a "paper art making" event. They leave or come as and when they like. Good and bad in a sense. I hope to know more people here. Well, at least I made a new friend today.
Happy 21st Birthday to me!
3rd oct
Had a long day today. But full of birthday wishes around. Saw many of my fear most species, and it’s a rainy day. Most important of all, I had to study for an exam. So basically I was busy most of the time. Til at night, I have the time to rest. And a “surprise” birthday by my exchange clique “UWO: get out of here”. It was pretty simple, but yet awesome. I received a face moisturizer because they saw that I was frantically looking for face products on my face the other day. And it was wrapped by a rough paper, decorated with something on it. And also a nice card, with 3 different names dedicated to the same person. Oh and a balloon! I never had a balloon for birthday present before. I remembered during JC, people like to embarrass those birthday boys and girls with fanciful balloon all around. Well, imagine the guys having to carry the balloon from town up to bus. Haha! It was really sweet of them to go out and buy present. I had a sara lee cheesecake for my birthday with no candles. Haha!
I sort of made a wish but it was quite exchange related. Other than that, nothing else.
Having live up til today, I am really thankful of my parents, first and foremost for bringing me up for what I am today. I may not be that sensible, mature, smart, or capable of doing anything yet. I always think I am doing things that live up to my conscience, and things I do which I think it’s correct and meaningful to do. I want to live the life I want, and I think the life that suits me, or I suit the life? Haha! Anyway, thank you all friends who are there for my birthday. (Except you of course, the one that completely forgotten my birthday)
I was so happy that today, we actually brought dinner to microwave it. Can finally eat hot stuff, it warms my stomach, and the weather was cold.
Great week ahead!
Okay. I kept a promise to myself that I will keep a diary of what I did during exchange. A month nearly passed. And nothing has been done. I must do it soon! Look out for my archives on facebook soon though.
Had a long day today. But full of birthday wishes around. Saw many of my fear most species, and it’s a rainy day. Most important of all, I had to study for an exam. So basically I was busy most of the time. Til at night, I have the time to rest. And a “surprise” birthday by my exchange clique “UWO: get out of here”. It was pretty simple, but yet awesome. I received a face moisturizer because they saw that I was frantically looking for face products on my face the other day. And it was wrapped by a rough paper, decorated with something on it. And also a nice card, with 3 different names dedicated to the same person. Oh and a balloon! I never had a balloon for birthday present before. I remembered during JC, people like to embarrass those birthday boys and girls with fanciful balloon all around. Well, imagine the guys having to carry the balloon from town up to bus. Haha! It was really sweet of them to go out and buy present. I had a sara lee cheesecake for my birthday with no candles. Haha!
I sort of made a wish but it was quite exchange related. Other than that, nothing else.
Having live up til today, I am really thankful of my parents, first and foremost for bringing me up for what I am today. I may not be that sensible, mature, smart, or capable of doing anything yet. I always think I am doing things that live up to my conscience, and things I do which I think it’s correct and meaningful to do. I want to live the life I want, and I think the life that suits me, or I suit the life? Haha! Anyway, thank you all friends who are there for my birthday. (Except you of course, the one that completely forgotten my birthday)
I was so happy that today, we actually brought dinner to microwave it. Can finally eat hot stuff, it warms my stomach, and the weather was cold.
Great week ahead!
Okay. I kept a promise to myself that I will keep a diary of what I did during exchange. A month nearly passed. And nothing has been done. I must do it soon! Look out for my archives on facebook soon though.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Letter 2 — Your husband/wife/lover/bf/gf/crush
I don't know if it is the right time to write this on my birthday. But I suddenly had the intention of writing it.
Obviously I don't have any husband/wife/lover/bf/gf, well as for crush -- I don't know my feelings too anyway. Maybe I shall write it to some imaginary dude then.
Dear Crush,
I have never been in an relationship before. But I have been in a complicated state. I know how is it like to like someone, or even love someone. However, it is just so hard to get the love, get the life you want. I really really do want to get the kind of love I want. Is it due to fate/ destiny? Or is it the problem with me?
I can go miles and miles to care for you if I think you are the one. It gets frustrated when my intention was not understood well enough, or simply that you just don't care. People just don't reciprocrate sometimes, in this case, I will just rather ignore and give up. Or simply just let out a sigh. Is it just because you are too busy with work?
I don't know what do you think of me. I can't read your mind. I really hope one day you'll be able to frank with me.
I would really hope to find the true love of my life and live happily then. One who is sweet, gentle, caring, understanding and most of all trusting and I can simply blurt anything out to him. Afterall, love is trust.
Oh ya. I always mentioned this to my friends that, my love = my best friend. This is gonna be hard. But, I would love this!
But, when will my turn come?
Do you even remember what day is it today?
Loves,
The Blur Jug
Obviously I don't have any husband/wife/lover/bf/gf, well as for crush -- I don't know my feelings too anyway. Maybe I shall write it to some imaginary dude then.
Dear Crush,
I have never been in an relationship before. But I have been in a complicated state. I know how is it like to like someone, or even love someone. However, it is just so hard to get the love, get the life you want. I really really do want to get the kind of love I want. Is it due to fate/ destiny? Or is it the problem with me?
I can go miles and miles to care for you if I think you are the one. It gets frustrated when my intention was not understood well enough, or simply that you just don't care. People just don't reciprocrate sometimes, in this case, I will just rather ignore and give up. Or simply just let out a sigh. Is it just because you are too busy with work?
I don't know what do you think of me. I can't read your mind. I really hope one day you'll be able to frank with me.
I would really hope to find the true love of my life and live happily then. One who is sweet, gentle, caring, understanding and most of all trusting and I can simply blurt anything out to him. Afterall, love is trust.
Oh ya. I always mentioned this to my friends that, my love = my best friend. This is gonna be hard. But, I would love this!
But, when will my turn come?
Do you even remember what day is it today?
Loves,
The Blur Jug
Saturday, September 24, 2011
My roomie ask me today. Will you enjoy Europe more or USA more? I replied, perhaps Europe.
Well, I know I shouldn't be harbouring thoughts about not going to Sweden for exchange, or any other European countries, since I'm already in Canada. Ever since one month I left home, I still feel kind of weird of not having family members around to nag on me all the time. Even so, I think that, there is a difference in culture. However, it is still not too bad for me to adapt since every one here is friendly in the sense, too friendly that I feel I'm at home. But having the thought of USA being a kind of dangerous place, well I'm not sure if Europe had been better. But like what I told her, Europe is more of an ancient, sightseeing, place of rich history, in which I like more than what I am doing now. Playing and shopping. I seriously cannot understand why people travel just to shop. Well, I do agree that USA has really much shopping places and outlets. But, knowing what price for this coach bag is really that objective than knowing why this certain place come about? I seriously wonder about what I really want of this exchange program. Am I in the wrong place or what? No, I don't think so. Though Canada wasn't really in my mind that time when I choose to apply for instep. But I don't regret that choice because Canada is a nice place to live in, but not really a place I would come for travelling. And that, I could fund myself to go to Europe all I want in future. Is it the people around me? I wonder. Or is it my problem? But, take note, I don't come here just to shop and party.
People shouldn't judge, nor they should be narrow minded.
Well, I know I shouldn't be harbouring thoughts about not going to Sweden for exchange, or any other European countries, since I'm already in Canada. Ever since one month I left home, I still feel kind of weird of not having family members around to nag on me all the time. Even so, I think that, there is a difference in culture. However, it is still not too bad for me to adapt since every one here is friendly in the sense, too friendly that I feel I'm at home. But having the thought of USA being a kind of dangerous place, well I'm not sure if Europe had been better. But like what I told her, Europe is more of an ancient, sightseeing, place of rich history, in which I like more than what I am doing now. Playing and shopping. I seriously cannot understand why people travel just to shop. Well, I do agree that USA has really much shopping places and outlets. But, knowing what price for this coach bag is really that objective than knowing why this certain place come about? I seriously wonder about what I really want of this exchange program. Am I in the wrong place or what? No, I don't think so. Though Canada wasn't really in my mind that time when I choose to apply for instep. But I don't regret that choice because Canada is a nice place to live in, but not really a place I would come for travelling. And that, I could fund myself to go to Europe all I want in future. Is it the people around me? I wonder. Or is it my problem? But, take note, I don't come here just to shop and party.
People shouldn't judge, nor they should be narrow minded.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Some updates
I know I haven't been updating recently. But there is just so many things happening and so many things which occupy my mind and so many things left undone. Especially with the wrapping up of the USA trip. Some parts were spectacular. Some parts weren't as fun as I had expected. OH well, life goes on...
I have been in Canada like around 5 days? And I have already started school, having a miss at all the rah rah orientation events. Initially I thought it would be very difficult for me to adapt to the Canadian life but I guess it was quite alright for me. They are very polite, that makes me feel good each time I see them walking past me, students, professors...
But then again, I haven't really got to interact around. Either I'm too slow, or I'm too cold. Well, I really don't know. I hope to get to know more people around me. Solid people whom I will see more often.
Maybe I should say I am still in the phase of trying to adapt to new cultures, new friends, even getting close to already known friends as well. It is a whole lot of relationship matters I have to deal with. I really miss all the people in Singapore. For the reason that I could only make overseas call to my parents, compared to people who can skype easily, facetime, talk on the phone for free, and also having easy access to connect with friends in Singapore. Most of my friends went on exchange too and I wonder how are they doing now. The thing is Singapore and Canada has opposite timings so I won't get to see them online to chat with when I am feeling down. I really hope to get more connected with my friends in Singapore. And I hope things here will change for the better. Not because it is bad but, I think the problem lies with me.
For me, I think the environment here is great. Except that the food and stuff here are alot more expensive. But other than that it was generally fine, I mean, I am the person who don't really go partying at night. Today we went to some streets for dinner and take a look at the bars, pubs, clubs. They are all so happening. But seriously difficult to be style and dress up like one of them. Well having said that, I think I shoudl start to join more stuff (less vigour ones), and also be here for longer than just one week before school starts. The weather here is somehow unpredictable but I guess it should be fine til winter.
They are also very helpful in the sense that they really tell us or inform us what to do for this that. I wast thinking that it would be a great chance to join back NTU exchange club to welcome the international students to Singapore.
Well, I will update again!
I have been in Canada like around 5 days? And I have already started school, having a miss at all the rah rah orientation events. Initially I thought it would be very difficult for me to adapt to the Canadian life but I guess it was quite alright for me. They are very polite, that makes me feel good each time I see them walking past me, students, professors...
But then again, I haven't really got to interact around. Either I'm too slow, or I'm too cold. Well, I really don't know. I hope to get to know more people around me. Solid people whom I will see more often.
Maybe I should say I am still in the phase of trying to adapt to new cultures, new friends, even getting close to already known friends as well. It is a whole lot of relationship matters I have to deal with. I really miss all the people in Singapore. For the reason that I could only make overseas call to my parents, compared to people who can skype easily, facetime, talk on the phone for free, and also having easy access to connect with friends in Singapore. Most of my friends went on exchange too and I wonder how are they doing now. The thing is Singapore and Canada has opposite timings so I won't get to see them online to chat with when I am feeling down. I really hope to get more connected with my friends in Singapore. And I hope things here will change for the better. Not because it is bad but, I think the problem lies with me.
For me, I think the environment here is great. Except that the food and stuff here are alot more expensive. But other than that it was generally fine, I mean, I am the person who don't really go partying at night. Today we went to some streets for dinner and take a look at the bars, pubs, clubs. They are all so happening. But seriously difficult to be style and dress up like one of them. Well having said that, I think I shoudl start to join more stuff (less vigour ones), and also be here for longer than just one week before school starts. The weather here is somehow unpredictable but I guess it should be fine til winter.
They are also very helpful in the sense that they really tell us or inform us what to do for this that. I wast thinking that it would be a great chance to join back NTU exchange club to welcome the international students to Singapore.
Well, I will update again!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
It's the start of the new journey
I am yet to enter adulthood and I am already taking a big challenge for myself to live in another country, of totally different lifestyles, language, place, food, culture. And here I am embarking on this journey. Afraid and fear as I am, I would be willing to give it a try and hope for the better.
Thanks to all who came and send me off. I didn't expect to see many people because I didn't make clear of the date that I am flying. I didn't also think so much about it and neither do I make the effort to catch up with my friends before I go. Everything came so rush. I didn't have the time to spend with my mummy before I fly too. Hai, maybe it is a good time to train myself to be more indepedent. Well, I think I am independent too. Am I? Well, not to certain people, especially my parents and "parents".
I really miss my parents and "parents"! No one for me to joke and disturb around. Though the two guys I am travelling with first are rather capable and good, but I still think because I am not very close with them initially to begin with. Well, let see how as time passes.
Once we touch down at Canada on 16 Aug afternoon, we took a cab to the warehouse and put down the stuff. Canada is quite a unique place to begin with. Well, I have just been there for less than 6 hours so I shan't say much. Then we took the same cab to the bank to open a bank account. The officers were rather nice and they really make my little stay there fruitful. Then we walk all the way under the hot sun to the airport, making our way to the USA. Crossing the border may be a little troublesome. But crossing the customs has never been the problem for me =P We ate at the airport and my first meal costs around $10, two sandwiches and a cup of hot tea. Then we touch down at Boston and head straight to the hostel through their subway. I really admire their subway system. Though it can be very confusing but I just like the whole idea of it. Reminds me of the times I played Maplestory. It is my first time staying at hostels but I quite like the feeling, but I just don't like the feeling that I have to climb up beds. I could adapt to the homely feeling of hostels quite fast because the toilets are good =P Closette toilets rocks!
Breakfast everyday are the same. Cereal, bread (all kinds), hot drinks, apple, banana. Then we tour around Boston. I should talk more about it since I have already finished my tour there.
Boston give me the kind of really USA feeling as you would see in movies. The way shops are built and structured. One shop by one shop, has their own designs. The people there were also friendly. More nightlife and busier (as compared to Washington). I kind of like that feeling. We have been to their two famous universities, and also historical places and trails. It is a city, seriously a busy city. Colourful city. Very special. It reminds me of the olden days as portrayed in shows of how people live in the past. I don't know how to describe. It is like something I have seen since young and now it appears right in front of me. Actually, I still can't believe I am walking down streets of USA!
Fastfoods everywhere. All of you know I am definitely not a fastfood eater. Clam chowder is awesome. Come here, two words to remember: BB-bo bian, must eat or else you would rather die of hunger. Their fastfood like bread, sandwiches and pizzas are good too. Not like in Singapore with small serving. Oops. I am also trying to adapt to the food here. Hopefully I can. I suddenly thought of this, "Abstaining from fastfood for the past 5 years is a good choice for me to get prepared living in a Western country for 4 months."
And here I am in Washington DC, still trying to look around but I am definitely amazed by Smithsonian and the different types of political buildings to look at. Their architecture is fanstatic. Even just a office building can look like castle. I shall update more once I finished with Washington DC.
Can't wait for my roomie to join me!
Thanks to all who came and send me off. I didn't expect to see many people because I didn't make clear of the date that I am flying. I didn't also think so much about it and neither do I make the effort to catch up with my friends before I go. Everything came so rush. I didn't have the time to spend with my mummy before I fly too. Hai, maybe it is a good time to train myself to be more indepedent. Well, I think I am independent too. Am I? Well, not to certain people, especially my parents and "parents".
I really miss my parents and "parents"! No one for me to joke and disturb around. Though the two guys I am travelling with first are rather capable and good, but I still think because I am not very close with them initially to begin with. Well, let see how as time passes.
Once we touch down at Canada on 16 Aug afternoon, we took a cab to the warehouse and put down the stuff. Canada is quite a unique place to begin with. Well, I have just been there for less than 6 hours so I shan't say much. Then we took the same cab to the bank to open a bank account. The officers were rather nice and they really make my little stay there fruitful. Then we walk all the way under the hot sun to the airport, making our way to the USA. Crossing the border may be a little troublesome. But crossing the customs has never been the problem for me =P We ate at the airport and my first meal costs around $10, two sandwiches and a cup of hot tea. Then we touch down at Boston and head straight to the hostel through their subway. I really admire their subway system. Though it can be very confusing but I just like the whole idea of it. Reminds me of the times I played Maplestory. It is my first time staying at hostels but I quite like the feeling, but I just don't like the feeling that I have to climb up beds. I could adapt to the homely feeling of hostels quite fast because the toilets are good =P Closette toilets rocks!
Breakfast everyday are the same. Cereal, bread (all kinds), hot drinks, apple, banana. Then we tour around Boston. I should talk more about it since I have already finished my tour there.
Boston give me the kind of really USA feeling as you would see in movies. The way shops are built and structured. One shop by one shop, has their own designs. The people there were also friendly. More nightlife and busier (as compared to Washington). I kind of like that feeling. We have been to their two famous universities, and also historical places and trails. It is a city, seriously a busy city. Colourful city. Very special. It reminds me of the olden days as portrayed in shows of how people live in the past. I don't know how to describe. It is like something I have seen since young and now it appears right in front of me. Actually, I still can't believe I am walking down streets of USA!
Fastfoods everywhere. All of you know I am definitely not a fastfood eater. Clam chowder is awesome. Come here, two words to remember: BB-bo bian, must eat or else you would rather die of hunger. Their fastfood like bread, sandwiches and pizzas are good too. Not like in Singapore with small serving. Oops. I am also trying to adapt to the food here. Hopefully I can. I suddenly thought of this, "Abstaining from fastfood for the past 5 years is a good choice for me to get prepared living in a Western country for 4 months."
And here I am in Washington DC, still trying to look around but I am definitely amazed by Smithsonian and the different types of political buildings to look at. Their architecture is fanstatic. Even just a office building can look like castle. I shall update more once I finished with Washington DC.
Can't wait for my roomie to join me!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
My last night before I leave!
Time flies. I am really not prepared for the whole thing at all and now I am going to fly in less than 24 hours. I still don't want to leave yet because I think there are things left undone. And also starting to get more rest for the trip. I am still not very very close to the two other guys, and I still think it is abit weird to tag along with them. But I hope things will turn out fine. I just hope I will be safe, healthy and happy... Bye Singapore! See you 4 months later! I will miss you, especially my Mummy! Alright, go spend more time with my bed now!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Stranded
How to go overseas like that? Singapore I also will get stranded, even if a bus guide and my phone. Hai, blame it on my gay kiang, boarded the bus which I think I can get to my destination but actually not, same road name but different busstops totally. It's the first time I felt so terrified. Walking up and down the road and it is already dark by then. No people around. In the end got helped by my fellow friends, otherwise I would just rely on a taxi.
I am really physically tired, mentally tired, emotionally tired, financially tired (added by phong).
Physically tired because I rushed to alot of places at one go. And more to come in USA as we are rushing off here and there all around the world.
Mentally tired because my mind just can't stop about thinking of living and traveling in another country all by yourself. Okay there is friends, but still, the feeling is different. Not your territory. And I can't stop thinking of what to bring, what to pack in my luggage, what to take note of overseas.
Emotionally tired, seriously I feel I am not prepared yet. A sudden mind to change my plans. I feel there are things I haven't let go of here. A lot of things I haven't say, a lot of things I feel I should have done.
Financially tired. I think I will be broke after paying my residence fees. And I think the amount my father give me will not be enough to tide over a month. I need more money!
I feel that I have not been eating well too.
Anyway I had a nice time with my woodpeckers, though it was a short dinner but a last chance to meet them, especially my dear seniors for this year. I love the zi char in the heartlands, and also my yuzu icecream! And of course the homo-ing, which I will miss in the months to come.
I just feel that, you still don't care about me.
I am really physically tired, mentally tired, emotionally tired, financially tired (added by phong).
Physically tired because I rushed to alot of places at one go. And more to come in USA as we are rushing off here and there all around the world.
Mentally tired because my mind just can't stop about thinking of living and traveling in another country all by yourself. Okay there is friends, but still, the feeling is different. Not your territory. And I can't stop thinking of what to bring, what to pack in my luggage, what to take note of overseas.
Emotionally tired, seriously I feel I am not prepared yet. A sudden mind to change my plans. I feel there are things I haven't let go of here. A lot of things I haven't say, a lot of things I feel I should have done.
Financially tired. I think I will be broke after paying my residence fees. And I think the amount my father give me will not be enough to tide over a month. I need more money!
I feel that I have not been eating well too.
Anyway I had a nice time with my woodpeckers, though it was a short dinner but a last chance to meet them, especially my dear seniors for this year. I love the zi char in the heartlands, and also my yuzu icecream! And of course the homo-ing, which I will miss in the months to come.
I just feel that, you still don't care about me.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Heart attack.
Upon hearing that there are not much tickets left. I hurry change my flight over without checking properly for the plans in Boston and Washington. But in the end, with much effort, I manage to book whatever there is. Luckily there are still availability, just that my domestic flights are way too expensive, it's okay, nothing beats the safety and the accompany. It is gonna be the first time I am out on the other end of the world alone. It's gonna be a little scary, but more to the exciting part. Party in the USA! An unexpected party though...
Thinking that I will be leaving in 10 days time made me very tensed. I just had my vaccine. For the next few days, it will be planning and getting ready for the trip. Really really few days. I hope to spend a little time catching up with my friends, but I think I have to give it a miss. Most importantly, I would want to spend time with my parents. Hai, so sad, haven't learn a little cooking from my mother yet. Will I get to cook in Canada? Hmmm... Time is running out.
I would really hope I can leave quietly this time. Sending people off has always been a sad thing to do.
Upon hearing that there are not much tickets left. I hurry change my flight over without checking properly for the plans in Boston and Washington. But in the end, with much effort, I manage to book whatever there is. Luckily there are still availability, just that my domestic flights are way too expensive, it's okay, nothing beats the safety and the accompany. It is gonna be the first time I am out on the other end of the world alone. It's gonna be a little scary, but more to the exciting part. Party in the USA! An unexpected party though...
Thinking that I will be leaving in 10 days time made me very tensed. I just had my vaccine. For the next few days, it will be planning and getting ready for the trip. Really really few days. I hope to spend a little time catching up with my friends, but I think I have to give it a miss. Most importantly, I would want to spend time with my parents. Hai, so sad, haven't learn a little cooking from my mother yet. Will I get to cook in Canada? Hmmm... Time is running out.
I would really hope I can leave quietly this time. Sending people off has always been a sad thing to do.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
I have been feeling emotional quite lately. Was it because I'm flying to a totally new place in like less than a month's time. And everything is so unprepared. Even the tickets. I reminded her again and again but still, something has to go wrong. But never mind, no point worrying now. Thanks to the "vinegar wine" every night which makes me less frustrated, more calm, more daring, and less nervous. We have to think of alternative plans. I hope we will get this settled on Friday. Die die have to settle. I don't care.
The feeling of unknown. Safety. Health. The most important thing for me is how well I can adapt to Canada. The weather, the way of life, the people most importantly. I hope it will be a fun experience. I am definitely looking forward to it after looking at USA pictures. Who knows? We may be going to Washington too, one added stop. Hai, I should have been more persistent and fly on the 16th instead.
A whole new experience coming up. And I definitely looking forward to it. More excitement than fear actually. Because I know I can if I try and things will go well. What is most important now is the air ticket. With the air ticket (first step) on both of our hands, things will be easily solved.
I will be away for 4 months. Things will change sooner or later after I come back. People are all wondering what will I turn out after I come back? More ang moh? Still the same? Will my friends still remember me? A whole new life after that too. I may be going for local exchange. If it is then, one year not in NTU. I will join a new CCA too. I haven't decide on what but it will definitely be volunteerism again, or something related. I hope to get this spirit going. Or maybe fulfil my teenage dream of singing?
A new phase of life as I am turning 21 soon. A new phase of education. A new phase of friends. What will I be? ^_^
The feeling of unknown. Safety. Health. The most important thing for me is how well I can adapt to Canada. The weather, the way of life, the people most importantly. I hope it will be a fun experience. I am definitely looking forward to it after looking at USA pictures. Who knows? We may be going to Washington too, one added stop. Hai, I should have been more persistent and fly on the 16th instead.
A whole new experience coming up. And I definitely looking forward to it. More excitement than fear actually. Because I know I can if I try and things will go well. What is most important now is the air ticket. With the air ticket (first step) on both of our hands, things will be easily solved.
I will be away for 4 months. Things will change sooner or later after I come back. People are all wondering what will I turn out after I come back? More ang moh? Still the same? Will my friends still remember me? A whole new life after that too. I may be going for local exchange. If it is then, one year not in NTU. I will join a new CCA too. I haven't decide on what but it will definitely be volunteerism again, or something related. I hope to get this spirit going. Or maybe fulfil my teenage dream of singing?
A new phase of life as I am turning 21 soon. A new phase of education. A new phase of friends. What will I be? ^_^
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
吳克羣 我能給的MV
妳爸媽劈頭問我一句話 我不回答
他問我能不能給妳一個家 我愣在那
不回答不代表我沒有想法
不回答不代表掙扎
有些事心裡明白 卻不能夠明講
我沒有權 沒有錢 沒有房 只剩夢想
但未來的路實在太漫長 我也害怕
害怕讓她陪著我一起闖蕩
害怕她空轉了時光
所以我不說大話 怕說的比做的差
有些話不能表達 有些話當時我沒有講
但是我不會讓她陪我累
但是我不會讓她流眼淚
能給的我都給她 這是我心裡面說的話
就算會累死我都不會怨 因為她就是我的全世界
Thanks to Sijia for sharing this song on facebook. It is so sweet but emotional, which suits my current mood for now.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Letter 1 - Your Best Friend
Dear Best Friend,
Like I always say, I don't have a long lasting best friend. As for now, I hope you know who you are. I always thought that you don't really understand me well as compared to XXX. But recently I discover that we actually share alot of things about life along the way, which I think is quite alot as compared to any other friend. Prompting you on msn everyday has already been a habit, even just to call you. We also exchange calls quite a number of times which I haven't been doing ever since back then in secondary school. It is definitely a nice feeling to have when someone calls you, sms you, pat you on the back, talk to you at random to find out what you are doing sometimes? Though it may just be asking something random, but it's definitely very sweet. Also, you will also take care of me, lead me no matter how tired you are and don't reject my favours I ask for. Perhaps there are things that I haven't really open up and finish sharing, but thank you for the understanding of the blurness I have. Though sometimes we have differing opinions, I should say, most of the times, but it is glad that we came to an understanding position.
It's interesting to recall how I first known you, the weird weird name everyone is talking about but a super friendly guy, well-known for your joker acts. Everyone may take you for an entertainment figure infront, always making the day very bright. I love seeing the way you laugh, really very funny. Well anyway, it was after the incident that I got more close to you even when I thought that time, I find it a little difficult to step out of the box to know you and talk to you because the problem of me being "immature" has been constantly reminded and repeated to me. And also the weird and irritating questions that comes out of your mouth constantly wherever I go in school. But more and more I find that, it takes time to understand each other and also, I haven't been sharing my views too. That was when my impression of you changed from an entertainer to someone who is really really serious too. That was a miracle how different we are has closely brought us together in one way or another. Or perhaps, it takes two hands to clap.
I have always told people around me that, I hope my boyfriend will be my best friend. But I see more positive traits in you. HAHA! But it is impossible because of our vast character differences and the environment that grew us up in! Anyway, I still have alot that can never be expressed in words so short to you. I also can never imagine how am I a light to you, especially when I am in my super blur and nonchalant attitude appearance in front of you all the time. Okay I admit that I am nonchalant and appear to be cold, but that is because I think you have the capability to judge that issue for yourself and decide what you should do. I have the trust in you to accomplish that and there is little I can do to make the world chnage. On the other hand, to make me less confused and frustrated with the way things are in life, I chose to accept and just be nonchalant, as carefree as I am.
I hope things are turning well at your side. You have to be more demanding and get what you want with priority. You are a fine person, I don't see the need for you to change the way you are. It's just the way you are that is why you have many friends staying by you. Most importantly, you cannot mess your own life and daily lifestyles up. Sometimes I really wish I have a brother like you. Don't worry too much about life. Things will get better. Jia You!
Loves,
Jia Xin
As I write this letter, I teared. It gets more and more obvious who really cares and really treats me better. But just to only realise it now.
Like I always say, I don't have a long lasting best friend. As for now, I hope you know who you are. I always thought that you don't really understand me well as compared to XXX. But recently I discover that we actually share alot of things about life along the way, which I think is quite alot as compared to any other friend. Prompting you on msn everyday has already been a habit, even just to call you. We also exchange calls quite a number of times which I haven't been doing ever since back then in secondary school. It is definitely a nice feeling to have when someone calls you, sms you, pat you on the back, talk to you at random to find out what you are doing sometimes? Though it may just be asking something random, but it's definitely very sweet. Also, you will also take care of me, lead me no matter how tired you are and don't reject my favours I ask for. Perhaps there are things that I haven't really open up and finish sharing, but thank you for the understanding of the blurness I have. Though sometimes we have differing opinions, I should say, most of the times, but it is glad that we came to an understanding position.
It's interesting to recall how I first known you, the weird weird name everyone is talking about but a super friendly guy, well-known for your joker acts. Everyone may take you for an entertainment figure infront, always making the day very bright. I love seeing the way you laugh, really very funny. Well anyway, it was after the incident that I got more close to you even when I thought that time, I find it a little difficult to step out of the box to know you and talk to you because the problem of me being "immature" has been constantly reminded and repeated to me. And also the weird and irritating questions that comes out of your mouth constantly wherever I go in school. But more and more I find that, it takes time to understand each other and also, I haven't been sharing my views too. That was when my impression of you changed from an entertainer to someone who is really really serious too. That was a miracle how different we are has closely brought us together in one way or another. Or perhaps, it takes two hands to clap.
I have always told people around me that, I hope my boyfriend will be my best friend. But I see more positive traits in you. HAHA! But it is impossible because of our vast character differences and the environment that grew us up in! Anyway, I still have alot that can never be expressed in words so short to you. I also can never imagine how am I a light to you, especially when I am in my super blur and nonchalant attitude appearance in front of you all the time. Okay I admit that I am nonchalant and appear to be cold, but that is because I think you have the capability to judge that issue for yourself and decide what you should do. I have the trust in you to accomplish that and there is little I can do to make the world chnage. On the other hand, to make me less confused and frustrated with the way things are in life, I chose to accept and just be nonchalant, as carefree as I am.
I hope things are turning well at your side. You have to be more demanding and get what you want with priority. You are a fine person, I don't see the need for you to change the way you are. It's just the way you are that is why you have many friends staying by you. Most importantly, you cannot mess your own life and daily lifestyles up. Sometimes I really wish I have a brother like you. Don't worry too much about life. Things will get better. Jia You!
Loves,
Jia Xin
As I write this letter, I teared. It gets more and more obvious who really cares and really treats me better. But just to only realise it now.
Friday, July 29, 2011
30 Day Letter Challenge
After completing the 30 Day Song Challenge on Facebook, I think this kind of challenges are so interesting. So, here's 30 day letter challenge adapted from sx's blog.
Letter 1 — Your best friend
Letter 2 — Your husband/wife/lover/bf/gf/crush
Letter 3 — Your parents
Letter 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Letter 5 — Your dreams
Letter 6 — A stranger
Letter 7 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Letter 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Letter 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Letter 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Letter 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Letter 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Letter 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Letter 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Letter 15 — The person you miss the most
Letter 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Letter 17 — Someone from your childhood
Letter 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Letter 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Letter 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Letter 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Letter 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Letter 23 — The last person you kissed
Letter 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Letter 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Letter 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Letter 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Letter 28 — Someone that changed your life
Letter 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Letter 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Letter 1 — Your best friend
Letter 2 — Your husband/wife/lover/bf/gf/crush
Letter 3 — Your parents
Letter 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Letter 5 — Your dreams
Letter 6 — A stranger
Letter 7 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Letter 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Letter 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Letter 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Letter 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Letter 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Letter 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Letter 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Letter 15 — The person you miss the most
Letter 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Letter 17 — Someone from your childhood
Letter 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Letter 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Letter 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Letter 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Letter 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Letter 23 — The last person you kissed
Letter 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Letter 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Letter 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Letter 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Letter 28 — Someone that changed your life
Letter 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Letter 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Time flies. We have just finished our school attachment just like this. And what a pity on the last day, my mentor didn't come to school and it was quite last minute I think, that he have to attend a course. Happily telling me that he will help me check out his lesson plans the day before. But to no avail, I didn't get to chat more with him on my last day. And also, I just left my message and the box of chocolates on his table. Together with a few small notes for classes that I initiated to relief. Drama on the last period where a two boys were running and chasing after another. One boy threw the other's spectacles and the casing over to the other end of the class and it hits the window and the specs flew off. It was a brand new specs. The other guy was very angry with him, but he just went off smiling and laughing. This case should be reported to the DM. I am not sure whether there is follow up, as it was already the last period of the week. Everyone came and gone off like a wind so fast where I still have alot of things to settle and say good-bye!
To me, Dunearn is another neighbourhood school but this school focuses alot on character building which I think it's good. The students here are quite friendly, and I should say, much better than my previous school. Though in every school there are bound to be students who will give alot of troubles to the school. But I see students slowly turning over a new leaf, at least for my stay there. I hope students will appreciate the little effort we have put for them. A little bit will do. Despite a little setbacks I have faced along the way, I hope this won't change my decision as a teacher in the future to come. I pretty much enjoyed the experience but I feel that I could have done more work in school.
With that concludes my working experience for this summer holidays, to think that I spend almost $1000 over within 3 days. I bought a new phone and upgrade my phone to a smartphone and data plan, costs me $428. Then I bought a camera on Sunday,$299. Some necessities and luggage on Tuesday which costs me around $270.
Talking about luggage, my mum and I went shopping yesterday at Chinatown. The bus ride was so long that I sleep like nobody's business on the bus. It has been such a long time since I last shop with my mum. I love shopping with her. and eating street delights with her along old streets. We shopped for a long time at OG. i bought a Lee cooper sneakers, a wallet (I want it to be atas to begin with), a luggage, locks, and a winter sweater. Then we went to find some sewing stuff for mum. Then went to search for eateries and finally settle down to eat fish. We then walk over to the main Chinatown area to eat desert. It was sumptuous. I totally love the "pokpok" or I shall named it "Little Balloons" of the snow ice desert. At first I said I don't want to eat it. But after that I love it so much. It's so cute but sad also, no matter how cold or hot, how much you pressed it, it still remains that round size. But when you bite it inside your mouth, it justs bursts to juice and disappear. Just like balloons when you prick it and it just disappears with a burst. Okay, then again was lost in Chinatown, but this time round there's mummy so not so bad. I finally know how to navigate inside there. It's great to walk in such a heartland place in Singapore. I totally love this part of the country. From the river, to the clarke quay to Chinatown, to the flyer. Hai... I hope I have a boyfriend to accompany me tour the places like a tourist. =(
To me, Dunearn is another neighbourhood school but this school focuses alot on character building which I think it's good. The students here are quite friendly, and I should say, much better than my previous school. Though in every school there are bound to be students who will give alot of troubles to the school. But I see students slowly turning over a new leaf, at least for my stay there. I hope students will appreciate the little effort we have put for them. A little bit will do. Despite a little setbacks I have faced along the way, I hope this won't change my decision as a teacher in the future to come. I pretty much enjoyed the experience but I feel that I could have done more work in school.
With that concludes my working experience for this summer holidays, to think that I spend almost $1000 over within 3 days. I bought a new phone and upgrade my phone to a smartphone and data plan, costs me $428. Then I bought a camera on Sunday,$299. Some necessities and luggage on Tuesday which costs me around $270.
Talking about luggage, my mum and I went shopping yesterday at Chinatown. The bus ride was so long that I sleep like nobody's business on the bus. It has been such a long time since I last shop with my mum. I love shopping with her. and eating street delights with her along old streets. We shopped for a long time at OG. i bought a Lee cooper sneakers, a wallet (I want it to be atas to begin with), a luggage, locks, and a winter sweater. Then we went to find some sewing stuff for mum. Then went to search for eateries and finally settle down to eat fish. We then walk over to the main Chinatown area to eat desert. It was sumptuous. I totally love the "pokpok" or I shall named it "Little Balloons" of the snow ice desert. At first I said I don't want to eat it. But after that I love it so much. It's so cute but sad also, no matter how cold or hot, how much you pressed it, it still remains that round size. But when you bite it inside your mouth, it justs bursts to juice and disappear. Just like balloons when you prick it and it just disappears with a burst. Okay, then again was lost in Chinatown, but this time round there's mummy so not so bad. I finally know how to navigate inside there. It's great to walk in such a heartland place in Singapore. I totally love this part of the country. From the river, to the clarke quay to Chinatown, to the flyer. Hai... I hope I have a boyfriend to accompany me tour the places like a tourist. =(
Thursday, July 21, 2011
It all ends here!
But the next chapter will unfold really quickly, well, that's my own instinct.
Attachment is coming to an end soon, tomorrow. Today is Racial Harmony Day Celebration and I wore a sari! I have bought the sari close to 4 years but I have not yet touch it since I bought it from India. It was tiring to wear a long sari with shoes that hurts my feet. But anyway, feel kind of cheated when more than 80% of the people didn't wear! And I feel quite weird in it. I met an Indian teacher in the toilet after my breakfast today, and she helped me re-wrap the sari with many nice pleats. Her pleats were really nice! However, I really feel a restriction in my movement because I was running around the block all the time.
We helped out at the celebration for an hour. It was like a carnival/ booths everywhere, activities for students to try out. Allowing them to be more aware of cross-ethnic cultures. I walked around the whole hall observing the activities. It seems quite fun. But my legs were really aching. =P
Another bigger thing that happened today was the presentation. We have been busy with lessons observations that we chiong last minute for the project. The printer was down at the Resource room so we need to find alternatives to get our stuff printed. The printing took up alot of time, that I don't really have much time to go through my slides, not to say writing cue cards and rehearse. So I wasn't prepare to articulate what I want to share with the SMCs. Therefore, as I kind of expected it, I fumbled with my slides nearing to the last bit of the presentation. And all the way, I thought I was very blur in trying to deliver what I was saying. I wonder how the SMCs really like the idea of having GKW when I present it too lousily. Hai.. guess I need to brush up on my presentation skills and crapping skills too =P I feel really lousy after that when my the other groupmates did soo well. However, the SMCs say that overall it was very impressive piece of work. And also some teachers were saying it's okay it's okay... But why is it that I get butterflies still when I speak infront of people, for the first time I seen them. As a teacher, a certain level of confidence should be already built up. I guess I have a steep learning curve then. I guess I need to reflect more, fumbling on slides is the last thing that I could ever think of. I'm the kind of person who will need to rehearse and have script in front of me before I can really do a good job. But normal talking conversations or sharing sessions are fine with me, even teaching. Why is it that presentations always put me down, and I often put them down too? I would love to have dialogue sessions, it's fun, just like how the Taiwan host show is doing. ARGHHH!!!!
Thank goodness tomorrow is the last day. Then after that I don't have to be reminded of this "little bad experience" anymore. However, I must say I had a good time here, despite of the "very free week 1" and for certain point in time, nothing to do. I enjoy going for lessons and doing co-teach.
And also watching the last part of harry potter! Just looking forward to it, I don't have any expectations of it. I just want to enjoy, but I guess I will fall asleep.
Attachment is coming to an end soon, tomorrow. Today is Racial Harmony Day Celebration and I wore a sari! I have bought the sari close to 4 years but I have not yet touch it since I bought it from India. It was tiring to wear a long sari with shoes that hurts my feet. But anyway, feel kind of cheated when more than 80% of the people didn't wear! And I feel quite weird in it. I met an Indian teacher in the toilet after my breakfast today, and she helped me re-wrap the sari with many nice pleats. Her pleats were really nice! However, I really feel a restriction in my movement because I was running around the block all the time.
We helped out at the celebration for an hour. It was like a carnival/ booths everywhere, activities for students to try out. Allowing them to be more aware of cross-ethnic cultures. I walked around the whole hall observing the activities. It seems quite fun. But my legs were really aching. =P
Another bigger thing that happened today was the presentation. We have been busy with lessons observations that we chiong last minute for the project. The printer was down at the Resource room so we need to find alternatives to get our stuff printed. The printing took up alot of time, that I don't really have much time to go through my slides, not to say writing cue cards and rehearse. So I wasn't prepare to articulate what I want to share with the SMCs. Therefore, as I kind of expected it, I fumbled with my slides nearing to the last bit of the presentation. And all the way, I thought I was very blur in trying to deliver what I was saying. I wonder how the SMCs really like the idea of having GKW when I present it too lousily. Hai.. guess I need to brush up on my presentation skills and crapping skills too =P I feel really lousy after that when my the other groupmates did soo well. However, the SMCs say that overall it was very impressive piece of work. And also some teachers were saying it's okay it's okay... But why is it that I get butterflies still when I speak infront of people, for the first time I seen them. As a teacher, a certain level of confidence should be already built up. I guess I have a steep learning curve then. I guess I need to reflect more, fumbling on slides is the last thing that I could ever think of. I'm the kind of person who will need to rehearse and have script in front of me before I can really do a good job. But normal talking conversations or sharing sessions are fine with me, even teaching. Why is it that presentations always put me down, and I often put them down too? I would love to have dialogue sessions, it's fun, just like how the Taiwan host show is doing. ARGHHH!!!!
Thank goodness tomorrow is the last day. Then after that I don't have to be reminded of this "little bad experience" anymore. However, I must say I had a good time here, despite of the "very free week 1" and for certain point in time, nothing to do. I enjoy going for lessons and doing co-teach.
And also watching the last part of harry potter! Just looking forward to it, I don't have any expectations of it. I just want to enjoy, but I guess I will fall asleep.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Guess what? I only had three hours of sleep yesterday but I was the earliest to school today out of the 3 weeks of attachment.
Chalet was fun but the thing is we started steamboat too late. I chose to go there earlier to check in together with M&M. The two hot brothers went to fly kites, after half an hour or so, their kites didn't fly. -_-" We played cards while the juniors went off to buy steamboat food for quite long. We started preparing and some of us went to rent the bikes. It took us some time to get it done. Thus we had our steamboat late and the fire and hot plate is not really working. I ate as much as I could to kill my gastric. Then we sat down and started laughing all the way of the nonsense we came up with...
So, we left late. And we couldn't join night cycling because of our attachment. For once, I hope I can join in too, though I think night cycling will be tired just like how I dreaded it last time. But nevermind, there are things that needed to be done. And so luckily I still manage to catch the last train home from Khatib.
I think I played too much this holidays. Back to work!!!
Chalet was fun but the thing is we started steamboat too late. I chose to go there earlier to check in together with M&M. The two hot brothers went to fly kites, after half an hour or so, their kites didn't fly. -_-" We played cards while the juniors went off to buy steamboat food for quite long. We started preparing and some of us went to rent the bikes. It took us some time to get it done. Thus we had our steamboat late and the fire and hot plate is not really working. I ate as much as I could to kill my gastric. Then we sat down and started laughing all the way of the nonsense we came up with...
So, we left late. And we couldn't join night cycling because of our attachment. For once, I hope I can join in too, though I think night cycling will be tired just like how I dreaded it last time. But nevermind, there are things that needed to be done. And so luckily I still manage to catch the last train home from Khatib.
I think I played too much this holidays. Back to work!!!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
It was tiring these days but I truly had a fun time! I have never ever enjoyed it with the presence of a group of friends since JC?
We had project ID performance this morning til early afternoon. We performed too early til many of them missed our performances. So we did an encore again. First time in RSPHI for me we did an encore performance! I really had fun doing this song. It's high, but still, it takes some effort to ensure that I'm smiling. Next was tuition, totally not in the mood to rush back and teach cuz we were so drained out already.
We did so much stupid things today, like chair-ing, playing at the play ground. Guess we are old enough to remininsce the young and innocent days we had. That's the moment that'll keep our spirit down =)
You know someone means a lot to you when their mood can easily affect yours.
I guess I must stop deceiving myself.
We had project ID performance this morning til early afternoon. We performed too early til many of them missed our performances. So we did an encore again. First time in RSPHI for me we did an encore performance! I really had fun doing this song. It's high, but still, it takes some effort to ensure that I'm smiling. Next was tuition, totally not in the mood to rush back and teach cuz we were so drained out already.
We did so much stupid things today, like chair-ing, playing at the play ground. Guess we are old enough to remininsce the young and innocent days we had. That's the moment that'll keep our spirit down =)
You know someone means a lot to you when their mood can easily affect yours.
I guess I must stop deceiving myself.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Last day of lesson observations!
Okay there shouldn't be a question mark there. Should be =(. Kind of missed the feeling of entering classes everyday, helping students with their sums and work. One point is... my mentor is really funny today!
1) His dressing today not very "like" him... Dress down day today. He just tuck out his long sleeve shirt. So the students ask him, "cher why you never tuck in your shirt?"
[teacher]: Hey tuck in your shirt...
[student]: Cher you also never tuck in.
[teacher]: ...
[me] : (laughing in my heart) hahahaha!
I thought he will wear polo tee today.
2) I was supposed to teach his class today. I went up to him and want to follow him to lesson. He ask me, "you have something to ask me?"
I look at him, "Having lesson now right?"
He look at me again, "I have another lesson now leh."
"huh? I thought my timetable wrote 1045?"
I ran back to take my timetable.
"Oh ya, sorry typo. But I have lesson now, it's 4NA. Do you want to sit in?"
"Okay!"
So I get to sit in all his classes already. Basically, this class was completing their TYS. Very power. Every student will do different questions at different pace. Different pages. Looks like I have to do it on the spot when they ask question. But not bad arh. At least I can help them with all the questions. yay! I'm a MATH QUEEN! HAHAHAHAHAHA (thick skinned)
3) Hai... I taught so cui today. I should be more specific and explain the rationale first before starting. End up my mentor have to go through everything again. But thank goodness everyone was patient with me. My mentor even apologised to me for disrupting my lesson. I felt so bad because I should be the one apologising because I slowed things down. =( Guess I will have to improve on my pedagogy. Never mind, I feel bad, but not very very bad because he was so nice to me hahahaha! At least I never take it so guilty in me. Never mind everyone has their own mistakes and first time..
We celebrated Daniel's birthday today but epic fail. Didn't manage to surprise him enough. Then after that we chiong for meeting. Haven't ate my lunch yet =( After long periods of lesson.
Oh! And I met Mdm Saubiah today, my DM from my sec sch. She remembers my face I guess. but not my name (of course lah. Last time I so Guai1) So glad to see her. "good good, everyone is making a difference!"
Today it was honours day for the lower secondary. Memories flew back when I was in Sec sch that I was up there every year receiving awards. I was very happy then. But I guess striving hard for my results made me lost a few things in life. Results are not everything. Bear that in mind students!
As I was about to leave. One student keep looking at me, I didn't know he wants to approach me for consultation because he could not find his teacher. And I don't recognise him! Omg I feel so bad, he was the student who compliment me yesterday! so touched! He even ask me til when will I be staying in Dunearn. So I told him next week is my last week already... So sad... gonna miss this place too.
I am really glad my small effort made a difference in their lives one way or another...
1) His dressing today not very "like" him... Dress down day today. He just tuck out his long sleeve shirt. So the students ask him, "cher why you never tuck in your shirt?"
[teacher]: Hey tuck in your shirt...
[student]: Cher you also never tuck in.
[teacher]: ...
[me] : (laughing in my heart) hahahaha!
I thought he will wear polo tee today.
2) I was supposed to teach his class today. I went up to him and want to follow him to lesson. He ask me, "you have something to ask me?"
I look at him, "Having lesson now right?"
He look at me again, "I have another lesson now leh."
"huh? I thought my timetable wrote 1045?"
I ran back to take my timetable.
"Oh ya, sorry typo. But I have lesson now, it's 4NA. Do you want to sit in?"
"Okay!"
So I get to sit in all his classes already. Basically, this class was completing their TYS. Very power. Every student will do different questions at different pace. Different pages. Looks like I have to do it on the spot when they ask question. But not bad arh. At least I can help them with all the questions. yay! I'm a MATH QUEEN! HAHAHAHAHAHA (thick skinned)
3) Hai... I taught so cui today. I should be more specific and explain the rationale first before starting. End up my mentor have to go through everything again. But thank goodness everyone was patient with me. My mentor even apologised to me for disrupting my lesson. I felt so bad because I should be the one apologising because I slowed things down. =( Guess I will have to improve on my pedagogy. Never mind, I feel bad, but not very very bad because he was so nice to me hahahaha! At least I never take it so guilty in me. Never mind everyone has their own mistakes and first time..
We celebrated Daniel's birthday today but epic fail. Didn't manage to surprise him enough. Then after that we chiong for meeting. Haven't ate my lunch yet =( After long periods of lesson.
Oh! And I met Mdm Saubiah today, my DM from my sec sch. She remembers my face I guess. but not my name (of course lah. Last time I so Guai1) So glad to see her. "good good, everyone is making a difference!"
Today it was honours day for the lower secondary. Memories flew back when I was in Sec sch that I was up there every year receiving awards. I was very happy then. But I guess striving hard for my results made me lost a few things in life. Results are not everything. Bear that in mind students!
As I was about to leave. One student keep looking at me, I didn't know he wants to approach me for consultation because he could not find his teacher. And I don't recognise him! Omg I feel so bad, he was the student who compliment me yesterday! so touched! He even ask me til when will I be staying in Dunearn. So I told him next week is my last week already... So sad... gonna miss this place too.
I am really glad my small effort made a difference in their lives one way or another...
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Seriously, I doubt and question myself these few days. I have been troubled over a series of issues. I know I shouldn't bring my emotions and feelings to work because that's just not being very professional. I mean it's very childish of me too because I'm just on attachment there and what's so stressed and upset I could get right???
1) Instep. I'm worried that my roomie is not going. I seriously hope that she can go so I wouldn't feel lonely for the trip. And she herself can enjoy the trip together with us too. I know she badly wants to go. And me too. I was very excited about it at first. But seems like alot of people are withdrawing due to timetable matters, personal matters. I want to "party in the USA". Looks like I can't really PARTEYYYY you know? And this is only the beginning. I have to also take into consideration the culture and the people over there in Canda. I have never been outside of Asia before. To think to handle everything by myself. I can't. If plan changes, I have to settle everything all again through MOE, my residence plan, and what so ever. I don't mind the paying part, cuz I have no choice. It's the vacancy of the flights again. Well, who knows what will happen? My rule still stays, I would never ever go to a place alone... My one and only golden rule for my trip.
2) How does it feel like to be worried for somebody and something but that person doesn't even know or care about me and my feelings? I'm starting/ or have already feel a distance apart. Or is it that we are initially also not that close afterall, but only perceived to be close by other people? I'm not feeling very good. But I don't want to show my feelings to other people. I don't want to let people worry about me. Maybe you couldn't understand this point afterall. That's the reason why I appear so non-chalant? Because I don't want to let my feelings or sadness affect other people. I sleep all my sadness away, waking up feeling very tired. Sometimes I am really angry. Or rather it's my fault for hiding my feelings so you don't even know that I'm angry, upset, or disappointed with certain things. It's just a matter of the level of understanding afterall. I don't wanna lose the friendship. Maybe I just have to learn to let it go. Forget about all the feelings tied. I'm going on a long trip anyway. Away from Singapore. I'll definitely miss the people who I hold dear in my heart, for I don't know who. Ask my heart then...
3) Teaching. Well, still a beginner, on attachment. Shouldn't be feeling stressed but I think I feel more sian more. I don't know why, just this week only. Probably with the fear of teaching infront of alot of people for the first time. With some frowns looking at you. And I have not been going in early these few days. And this cannot happen anymore! I'm getting from bad to worse. I shall not be late tomorrow!!! I had alot of questions. Can I control the kids well? Can I project my voice loud enough? Can I handle the heavy workload? Can I maintain a good and healthy relationship with them? Do I look like a teacher? Do I know my stuff well? Am I prepared enough?
Anyway, I think I'm bringing my emotions to school every morning, which I shouldn't be doing. Though it's not very obvious, but I can still feel I am a little bit distracted. That was just for the first lesson when I sat through values education. Teaching us how to "listen actively", I'll keep that in mind. I feel quite relaxed today as I don't have to teach today. But I sat in all Mr Chue's classes today. The first class was so much different. at least I would something expect in a neighbourhood school setting. With students having ADHD problems, and some other problems which are unknown to me. Things like "My dog is very hungry, eat away my paper, CHER! I got do!" Shouting across the whole class. I am not yet settled down. Two guys planted their seats both beside me. All I could do was just to help them with their work. I told one of them, there is a mistake in ur integration. He suddenly screamed so loudly beside me and I was totally stunned, bang the table somemore. So my teacher have to do something to him. This kind of situation, cuz I'm a female teacher. I wouldn't know how to handle yet. Another one, I just ask him, "eh why are you so slow, still at this page?" "Cher I got suspended lah..." Oops, perhaps I should be more sensitive when I ask questions too. These students were generally bright but they lack the proper environment. for once, I feel sympathy for them. I start to see this people in a different light. Back then in my school, I thought everyone was like that, trying to make trouble for teachers. But still, there are some notorious ones, don't know what they are doing. Sometimes I tried to run away when they start to call me for help. Still, I tried to help them as much as I can. So long, as they don't make noise and trouble.
Heard from my colleague that my mentor taught real well today!!! He used some cute softtoys to explain kinematics. I think I missed out a good show by him since I was with him for the past one week. But nvm, the previous class was an eye-opener too. 4S students are also lovable, interactive. I don't know how well Ti taught them yesterday. I still feel that there should be improvememts. But my mentor say it was alright just that I have to go faster and walk more rounds! haha! Okay 4S tmr I bring a friend with me!
The second class was so peaceful. I tag along with my colleague. "Cher why you got so many friends?" "Why you jealous arh?" Though this class I only been there once. I still think I feel more friendly with them and was more strict with my 4S. Trying to explain the same concept til my saliva dried. At least FINALLY they got what I am saying. One thing very funny is, I was trying to explain something quietly while the teacher is teaching. Suddenly, he said, "JIA XIN PLEASE LOOK UP" I got a shock and look up, luckily didn't let out some sound. I look around, chey, he is calling a student who has the same name as me. Then my colleague is laughing at the back... -_-"""
The thing that made my day was the students' friendly faces. One of the at-risk students commented me to my colleague saying that, "She is a very good teacher." I didn't hear it because I was consulting my mentor at the same time outside 4S. That was when my colleague told me and I feel so motivated afterall.
Which is why I say, students made my day! It's so unexpected... =))
1) Instep. I'm worried that my roomie is not going. I seriously hope that she can go so I wouldn't feel lonely for the trip. And she herself can enjoy the trip together with us too. I know she badly wants to go. And me too. I was very excited about it at first. But seems like alot of people are withdrawing due to timetable matters, personal matters. I want to "party in the USA". Looks like I can't really PARTEYYYY you know? And this is only the beginning. I have to also take into consideration the culture and the people over there in Canda. I have never been outside of Asia before. To think to handle everything by myself. I can't. If plan changes, I have to settle everything all again through MOE, my residence plan, and what so ever. I don't mind the paying part, cuz I have no choice. It's the vacancy of the flights again. Well, who knows what will happen? My rule still stays, I would never ever go to a place alone... My one and only golden rule for my trip.
2) How does it feel like to be worried for somebody and something but that person doesn't even know or care about me and my feelings? I'm starting/ or have already feel a distance apart. Or is it that we are initially also not that close afterall, but only perceived to be close by other people? I'm not feeling very good. But I don't want to show my feelings to other people. I don't want to let people worry about me. Maybe you couldn't understand this point afterall. That's the reason why I appear so non-chalant? Because I don't want to let my feelings or sadness affect other people. I sleep all my sadness away, waking up feeling very tired. Sometimes I am really angry. Or rather it's my fault for hiding my feelings so you don't even know that I'm angry, upset, or disappointed with certain things. It's just a matter of the level of understanding afterall. I don't wanna lose the friendship. Maybe I just have to learn to let it go. Forget about all the feelings tied. I'm going on a long trip anyway. Away from Singapore. I'll definitely miss the people who I hold dear in my heart, for I don't know who. Ask my heart then...
3) Teaching. Well, still a beginner, on attachment. Shouldn't be feeling stressed but I think I feel more sian more. I don't know why, just this week only. Probably with the fear of teaching infront of alot of people for the first time. With some frowns looking at you. And I have not been going in early these few days. And this cannot happen anymore! I'm getting from bad to worse. I shall not be late tomorrow!!! I had alot of questions. Can I control the kids well? Can I project my voice loud enough? Can I handle the heavy workload? Can I maintain a good and healthy relationship with them? Do I look like a teacher? Do I know my stuff well? Am I prepared enough?
Anyway, I think I'm bringing my emotions to school every morning, which I shouldn't be doing. Though it's not very obvious, but I can still feel I am a little bit distracted. That was just for the first lesson when I sat through values education. Teaching us how to "listen actively", I'll keep that in mind. I feel quite relaxed today as I don't have to teach today. But I sat in all Mr Chue's classes today. The first class was so much different. at least I would something expect in a neighbourhood school setting. With students having ADHD problems, and some other problems which are unknown to me. Things like "My dog is very hungry, eat away my paper, CHER! I got do!" Shouting across the whole class. I am not yet settled down. Two guys planted their seats both beside me. All I could do was just to help them with their work. I told one of them, there is a mistake in ur integration. He suddenly screamed so loudly beside me and I was totally stunned, bang the table somemore. So my teacher have to do something to him. This kind of situation, cuz I'm a female teacher. I wouldn't know how to handle yet. Another one, I just ask him, "eh why are you so slow, still at this page?" "Cher I got suspended lah..." Oops, perhaps I should be more sensitive when I ask questions too. These students were generally bright but they lack the proper environment. for once, I feel sympathy for them. I start to see this people in a different light. Back then in my school, I thought everyone was like that, trying to make trouble for teachers. But still, there are some notorious ones, don't know what they are doing. Sometimes I tried to run away when they start to call me for help. Still, I tried to help them as much as I can. So long, as they don't make noise and trouble.
Heard from my colleague that my mentor taught real well today!!! He used some cute softtoys to explain kinematics. I think I missed out a good show by him since I was with him for the past one week. But nvm, the previous class was an eye-opener too. 4S students are also lovable, interactive. I don't know how well Ti taught them yesterday. I still feel that there should be improvememts. But my mentor say it was alright just that I have to go faster and walk more rounds! haha! Okay 4S tmr I bring a friend with me!
The second class was so peaceful. I tag along with my colleague. "Cher why you got so many friends?" "Why you jealous arh?" Though this class I only been there once. I still think I feel more friendly with them and was more strict with my 4S. Trying to explain the same concept til my saliva dried. At least FINALLY they got what I am saying. One thing very funny is, I was trying to explain something quietly while the teacher is teaching. Suddenly, he said, "JIA XIN PLEASE LOOK UP" I got a shock and look up, luckily didn't let out some sound. I look around, chey, he is calling a student who has the same name as me. Then my colleague is laughing at the back... -_-"""
The thing that made my day was the students' friendly faces. One of the at-risk students commented me to my colleague saying that, "She is a very good teacher." I didn't hear it because I was consulting my mentor at the same time outside 4S. That was when my colleague told me and I feel so motivated afterall.
Which is why I say, students made my day! It's so unexpected... =))
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