Faith

In a pew (and a half) bursting with Whites, after an extra-long Love Feast (otherwise I would have missed the whole moment while walking the circus of Cousins to Children's Worship), Josh G led "It is Well" and I sang it down the pew to Avery Anne who stared down every word. Until "And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight!" brought a gummy grin to her face and tears to my eyes. Yes, sister, faith shall be sight. All of Cousins. Lord, haste the day!

We're boycotting September...

If we had the money, I might seriously go crawl in a hole for the entire month of September next year. Granted, it would be a well-appointed hotel room preferably on the Caribbean with unlimited spa access and massage services. But still. You get my point. Calgon take me away.

I know that it's so immature of me to just want to run away. I know it's not all about me. Jared's the one who's endured the funerals of both his daughter and father in this same month. I'm just feeling a little immature right now. So there. September stinks.

To be fair, there are some good things that have happened, too. Like big fat ooshy-squooshy baby Lukiness playing hide-and-seek with his burpy...

...and hilariously precious (or is it preciously hilarious?) Noah-boy who goes to a hibachi place and orders chicken nuggets and fries (he is not my child!)...
...and cute and curious Wacky Jack being mesmerized (along with Uncle David, apparently!) by the entire hibachi experience...
...and that cute happy couple over there who are getting a little practice in before they enjoy their own little bundle o' joy in April...

...and my handsome fella who looks innocent enough...
...until he realizes there's attention to be paid him!
Yep, it's been a pretty rough month overall. We are struh-guh-ling to see God's plan. But I think this one's got it pretty well figured out (728B-style, for you CoCers)...

If the skies above you are gray, You are feeling so blue,

If your cares and burdens seem great all the whole day through,

There's a silver lining that shines in the heavenly land,

Look by faith and see it my friend, Trust in His promises grand.

Often we are troubled and tried, Sick with sorrow and pain,

There are others living in sin blest with earthly gain,

Take new courage we cannot tell what the morrow may bring,

When the dark clouds vanish away then your heart truly can sing.

Oft we fail the see the rainbow up in heaven's fair sky,

When it seems the fortunes of earth frown and pass us by,

There are things we know that are worth more the silver and gold,

If we hope and trust Him each day, We shall have pleasure untold.

Sing and you'll be happy today, Press along to the goal,

Trust in Him who leadeth the way, He is keeping your soul,

Let the world know where you belong, Look to Jesus and pray,

Lift your voice and praise Him in song, Sing and Be Happy Today!

**For the record, I realize I did not include Madeline here, only because I do not have pictures of her or Mom at the hibachi place. They both make me very very happy and have been HUGE blessings to me this month especially. I have some cute pictures of Madeline for another post, so I promise, she will not be left out!!**

From Daddy

Luke Wesley Smalling was born Friday night at 10:15 PM. He weighs 11 lbs and 1.25 ounces and measures 22 inches long (no, that is not a typo). Both he and Melanie are doing well. We are all now home from the hospital and settling in.

For all of those who mourned with us, I ask you to rejoice with us today. The Lord has been merciful to bless us with another child, not that we may forget our sorrow, but that we may marvel at His incomparable goodness.

May the Kings of kings look down upon us all today and find us in wonder of his majesty and thankful to be his children.

"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:1-3

Jared

The Smoochies

I think Madeline started the name "smoochie", or maybe it was Jared describing her when she was little (he probably remembers). However it happened, it has become one of our family terms of endearment...it can be used as a nickname "hey, smoochie" or, more commonly, to refer to actions deemed "smoochie", as in "quit being a smoochie" or "that's so smoochie". It may have evolved from "tookie", which Madeline did make up herself when she was 2. Then there is also "poochie", which refers to when one of the kids (originally and commonly Madeline, but now also Jack more and more) pooches their lips out in a huff because they're disappointed or mad about something...as in, "Don't be poochie" or "Aww, poor poochie". Probably a behavior we should not encourage by giving it it's own name, but somehow it's cute at 2 (with the first child) and then becomes less and less cute as they get older. So, I'm not exactly sure what "smoochie" means...you just sort of know when it's the right time to use it. It's similar to "poochie", but a more general description of something or someone that has elements of brattiness, but also cuteness or silliness. I guess it's kind of like "you little stinker", said with love and affection, not ever in anger. Because it's such a cute, funny word to us, it's often used to diffuse a situation when someone (usually Madeline, because she's the over-reacter) is getting worked up about something silly, or if I've reacted (ok, over-reacted) too strongly to something childish one of the kids has done. Using "smoochie" just automatically reminds us that we are crazy about each other, even when we aren't crazy about each other's actions sometimes. I love my smoochies! I'm sure you all have silly/funny words or names like smoochie that you use in your family. We had tons in mine, which I guess is why I love them so much! I'd love to hear some of yours :-) Don't feel like you have to be as wordy as me, but if you are, I love reading every word of it!

Smoochie Jack building his spider, which, for the record, is NOT scary

I checked on Madeline before going to bed and she was snuggled with her Valentines bear from Memaw, which is the same little beanie baby Jared got me in the hospital when Ruby died. That bear is officially called "Ruby Bear" (J got it because it was pink and girly, and also just about the size of our little Rube) and stays usually on my dresser with Ruby's blankie, unless Noah decides to sleep with it. Anyway, she brought it home from Memaw's so proud that she had her own "Ruby bear" and this is how I found her... Speaking of Ruby, here is her little corner. Our class at church gave us the plaque that has Lamentations 3:22-23 "His compassions never fail, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness". The Wil.low Tree figurines are from different people, before, during and after losing Ruby. The dried flowers are the 4 roses from the graveside service, one for each child, including Ruby, and the other flowers are from an arrangement I got on her first birthday. The frames are some J & I got soon after her service and had on the wall in the dining room. At that time, Noah was big into counting the members of our family, especially at mealtime, and called us "the pizza" (we have a round/oval table), as in "we're missing a piece of the pizza" if Jared was still at work and we were eating, or if Jack was already in bed (back when he fell asleep at 6 pm and slept til 7 am!!). When I was pregnant with Ruby, he would usually include her as a piece of the pizza as long as I was sitting at the table. So when she died, he naturally commented almost nightly that we were missing a piece of the pizza. We put the pictures up in the dining room because (a) there was an empty space on the wall, (b) it was a noticeable place, not "in your face" if a guest wasn't particularly comfortable looking, but not hidden so that people had to go over into a corner and make a big deal out of looking if they wanted to, and (c) so that Ruby could always be a piece of the pizza. They're not back up on the wall yet after painting, but they are in the dining room still, and visible from the table where we share our meals. I think it's a perfect place to remember our little Ruby-Rue, the place where our family gathers to break bread together, to recount and remember our blessings, to be thankful for each and every piece of our pizza.

Monkeys in a tree

Could these brothers be cuter?? It's moments like this that I get excited about another BOY. And then I remember what life is USUALLY like! They annoy each other, but then they just have a good knock-down, drag-out and it's done. Jack is about to catch up with Noah size-wise (we're praying for a growth spurt for Noah-boy!) and is also just naturally more agressive. There are days when all I hear all day long is "Mom, Jack's trying to hurt me", which means anything from "Jack is SAYING he's going to hit me" to "Jack came within 10 feet of me and *I* interpret that to be aggression". Noah plays the victim well. I feel like I spend lots of my time investigating "potential" incidences. Usually, after a long day of worrying, Noah's fears come to nothing. Sometimes, though, his predictions come true, and Captain Jack DOES attack (usually with a hanger, used as his "hook"), Noah tackles him to the ground, Jack realizes he is NOT yet the alpha male, and things return to calm. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I just stripped 'em down and let 'em have it out first thing in the morning so we could side-step the whole "wanna fight?" scenario. Am I ready for MORE of this???

By the way, thank you for your prayers for me and our family. Please keep them coming. Things are going well and this little buddy won't give me a break from the kicking...a constant reassurance that he's in there doing fine, so I'm grateful for that. I try to keep the blog positive (for the most part) because it would be so easy to just vent here and dig myself into self-pity. I guess positive self-centeredness (as if my kids are the only cute ones in the world) is better than negative self-centeredness. Maybe I should work on focusing on others altogether...but not today. I have so much to be thankful for and find that when I reflect on that, and rejoice in the many blessings in my life, including Ruby's short little life, and this new little life, too, I feel less self-pity. And that is ALWAYS a good thing. Really, you have no idea how much your prayers lift us and keep us going. It's almost like God knew what He was doing when He told us to bear one another's burdens! Praise Him!

A selfish prayer request

You can see from the Blueberry (I'm calling him Little Boy Blue now, although I don't think "Blue" is going to make it as a name...we'll see) ticker, I'm about 21ish weeks along. Although we had a great ultrasound, and I'm feeling lots of kicking, I was also in exactly this position at 21 weeks with Ruby. So, needless to say, these next few weeks are a little uncertain for me. I try to remind myself of all the truths I know...and also that I successfully carried 3 previous babies to full term plus some. So odds are that everything will be normal, but getting past 24 weeks will be a relief, I hope.

I'm doing alright most of the time, but if you think of it, I'd appreciate your prayers for our strength of mind to not give in to worry and fear, which I know are how Satan wants me to spend these next few weeks. I'm not a worrier by nature, THANK GOD, but I can see it trying to creep in. And I know I'm more stressed than I realize right now because I've been taking it out in lack of patience (read: yelling and general ugliness) with my family (husband and kids) and probably been more needy than normal with my friends. Not to mention the normal pregnancy hormone roller coaster. I'm so grateful for this pregnancy, though my sweet Ruby is never far from my thoughts. Thanks for thinking of me.

Ruby link

My mom published her poem to her glory-grandbaby Ruby on her blog. Just wanted to share the link because it's a very precious post. I have also been thinking about her a lot...well, I always do, but a little differently I guess since being pregnant again. I still love and treasure the verse at the top of the blog. It means even more now as I realize how perfect God's timing is. I found/He showed that verse BEFORE Blueberry came along, BEFORE we'd even "decided" to "try" for another baby. And I am so thankful that He gave me that peace and joy in HIM ALONE, and not just because I was pregnant again. That peace was a lot of the reason we decided we could take another chance and know we'd be okay. Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble, but I'm just so touched by Mom's message and her honesty and encouragement. I'm so thankful for her! And for each of you.

Ruby's 1st "heaven" birthday

I know it's weird to most people that we would celebrate Ruby's birth into heaven, but it's one of those things you don't "get" until you've been there (so I hope none of you ever "get it"). Madeline asked, soon after Ruby died, if we could celebrate her 1st "birthday" with balloons, flowers and cupcakes. Well, who's going to say no to the grieving 7 year old sister?! So that's what we planned. As the day actually got closer, it didn't seem like such a good idea, but it's something that was special for our family. Even though it doesn't serve any practical purpose, it feels good to do something for her.

The cemetery is behind a church and is a huge area with beautiful hills (as you can see below), but there aren't many graves there. There are lots of wide-open spaces and for the most part you feel like you're in the middle of nowhere, right in the middle of town. So, we actually love to be there. There are months where the kids ask to go once a week or more and months that nothing is mentioned. Most of our time there is spent climbing the hill, but it's a special place for us, our little private retreat just down the road. Thanks, Ruby, for reminding us to take a deep breath, step back from the craziness that is our life, and really enjoy our blessings.

From my husband

It was one year ago today that many of you stood (literally) with Melanie and I as we buried our daughter. I wasn’t certain what the future would hold for our family after such a terrible loss. One year later, even though sad, we are whole. The Lord has been faithful to us through your hands and your prayers.

Each of us has and will suffer as long as we’re in this world. Some of you are suffering as you read this note. But I tell you to hang on to God and the hope of a better place not so long from now. Don’t rely on me, but rely on God and perhaps He’ll choose me to help you. He chose many of you to help me.

Please say a prayer for Melanie and me this week and remember this scripture from Philippians 3:20-21.

“But our homeland is in heaven, and we are waiting for our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, to come from heaven. By his power to rule all things, he will change our humble bodies and make them like his own glorious body.”

God bless you.

Jared

Deeper Still...

WOW. God is good. WOW. I spent my day Saturday at the Curb Center at Belmont, the satellite location for "Deeper Still...The Event" featuring Kay Arthur, Beth Moore, and Priscilla Shirer. The ACTUAL event was at the Sommet Center (GEC) downtown, which sold out last year--that's 20,000 women, y'all! They opened the Curb Center and showed everything on huge screens, and there were another 3,000 women there! It was amazing. I missed Friday night when Priscilla spoke, but I was so blessed by the little bits of time she spoke on Saturday. I hadn't been sure I could go, but my sweet Mama came down Friday night and took my kids to BG...delivered 2 to the Smallings and kept 1. Jared went to a car show Saturday, so I had the day to myself.

I got there Saturday morning unsure if I could even still get a ticket, but when I walked to the ticket counter, the woman put an armband on me and said someone had just dropped off an extra ticket with instructions to give it to the next person who stopped by...and that was me! I sat in an empty seat and soon realized it was one row behind some people from church that I didn't know were coming, so I wasn't even alone (even though I had decided I didn't care if I was).

I sat down and looked at the booklet they gave us at the door about the conference and was struck by something in the "welcome": "God has drawn you here to experience Him. He has been planning this weekend for you for a very long time. He knew you would be here in the exact circumstances you are living with today." WOW.

Saturday started with worship, which I'm sure you can imagine was pretty overwhelming with 3,000 women (I can't imagine the 20,000!). Then Beth Moore spoke. I listened as God spoke through her EXACTLY what I needed (not really what I wanted) to hear, with tears literally streaming down my face for 2 hours. Her whole lesson was on:

1. Moving past our devastation with God [How could He let my baby die!]
2. Returning to whole-hearted obedience [God didn't obey me, so I will obey Him sort of, but hold back that last little bit so He understands how He hurt me.]
3. Having the courage to see the fulfillment of God's promises to us

It was based in II Samuel 6 when Uzzah is struck dead by God for touching the ark of the covenant and David is devastated with God (angry & afraid, II Samuel 6:8-9) because he doesn't understand how or why God would punish him when he had such good intentions (bringing ark to Jerusalem). This is where I've been for the last couple of weeks: devastated with God for taking away what should be such a good, happy, Godly thing--my child. And justifying my self-pity and anger because it wasn't something sinful, but something good that I lost/He took. Nothing can devastate us like God doing something WE don't think He should do. THE ENEMY IS COUNTING ON ME NEVER GETTING OVER IT!

Jesus himself, God in the flesh, even experienced devastation. He prayed in Matt 26: 39, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me." But He, unlike me, fully obeyed God (and did NOT sin) and gave His precious life to save all of humanity, even me. God's plan for our lives, our work, His blessing is on the other side of the devastation, which we can only find when we are FULLY OBEDIENT to Him, as Jesus was.

David looked back and realized (I Chron 15:12-14) that they had not carried the ark properly in the first place. In I Chron 15:15 he determines they will now do it the right way, on poles carried on the shoulders of the Levites. There's no "new way" to do things, to obey God and do His will. The poles we carry as His priesthood are the Word and prayer. That IS the "easy button". There's no substitute, no shortcut.

*Let me be clear, as Beth was, that I'm not saying all bad things are the result of specific sin (except in the sense that because sin is in the world, death is in the world) AND that losses mean grief. Grief is important and ongoing in my life, as it should be. It is a part of our human-ness that will not be gone until He calls us home (Rev 21:4). But this devastation where we forever hold onto our anger/hurt/fear toward God, demanding that He, the Creator--whose ways and thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9)--explain everything to us, the created, and refusing to fully trust or obey Him again, is a sin of disobedience.

In II Samuel 7, AFTER the devastation, AFTER the return to obedience, AFTER God makes promises to him, David says in verse 28: "O Sovereign LORD, You are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant." He IS trustworthy.

I'm not sure the last time I could say (if ever), "God gave me this verse", but as I reflected on this lesson, I felt so stunned as I came across this verse, which SO completely captures this weekend for me:

"You turned my wailing into dancing;

You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing to You and not be silent.

O LORD my God, I will give You thanks forever."

--Psalm 30:11-12

My grief is not gone. I will always be homesick for Ruby and for the rest God has promised. I will never completely understand how or why she could not live here with our family. That will never seem right. But since God has given me this day and it's blessings, I will NOT throw them back in His face because He won't tell me why. I will do my best to quit throwing this baby fit (even if it's just in a far-removed corner of my heart that I think maybe He won't notice!) and rejoice in whatever He has for me and my family. I will accept this peace--yes, even JOY!--He has lavished on me this weekend, even though I don't understand how it is possible.

"It is time to give You honor,

This is the day to give You all the praise that You deserve.

Yes, it's time to give You honor,

This is the day to give You all the praise that You deserve.

A holy King, of everything, inhabit the praises of Your people,

A holy King, of everything, inhabit the praises of Your people.

Have we waited far too long now to surrender?

Forgive us, O God, the years we failed to seek Your face.

O LORD, Your mercy turns us into grateful people.

We can't seem to find the words,

so take our lives that they might be enough

to tell You how grateful, Lord, we are grateful!"

"A Grateful People" --Watermark

I may fall on my face tomorrow, but that is my resolution for TODAY!

Life goes on...

Even though it seems as though my world has screeched to a halt this week, it's obvious all around me that life does go on. There's still homework to do, phonics readers to sign, flashcards to practice, a class of 18-24 month-olds who still want to "Pat the Bible", supper to fix (or at least warm up), a category 5 hurricane that, GRACIAS A DIOS, did NOT do damage at least to Tegucigalpa where my dad is right now, PTA fundraisers due tomorrow (which of course we have sold NONE), mission trips to plan, water bills to pay (barely on time), checking accounts to balance, random mission reports to translate...oh and dishwashers, washing machines and dryers that don't unload OR load themselves...

Does it sound like I'm complaining? Seriously, I'm not! (Okay, a little on the last one.) In some bizarre way, the normalcy of life is comforting at a time like this. For one thing, it all reminds me that there are other people in this world other than me. And, as hard as it is to believe, some have even worse problems than I. (Dad, I REALLY wanted to put "than me" but I couldn't--thanks!) I have 3 kids enjoying the random activities of childhood, a wonderful extended family doing wonderful things and enduring their own struggles all over the world, a precious church family, a home, good schools for my children, the means and abilities to be involved in mission work and people's lives, a husband with a job that pays bills...oh and a dishwasher, washing machine and dryer, which definitely make MY job easier!

As bizarre as it was one year ago today to sit at O.Charl.eys with my husband with my half a club and potato soup and his pecan chicken salad, me looking 6 months pregnant, both of us knowing our Ruby was dead...it was the picture of what our life would be from then on. Normal and bizarre entertwined. For the last year, it's been more bizarre and less normal. I hope that with each passing year, it begins to be a little more normal.

The Empty Room

This was posted on a blog (that I can no longer find) by another mom. I hope it pricks your heart, even if you have not experienced this same loss:

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.” --Matthew 18: 12-14

There are “holes” in our family, something that a general observer would not see right away. It takes an extra moment to realize that all of the baby pictures on our wall are not only of our daughter. There needs to be a closer look taken, to notice the golden image of a kneeling boy that is nestled in amongst the lights and the garland on our Christmas tree each year. This year, we have the bittersweet experience of buying another special ornament, this time for our little Ezra.

If there is anything that this experience has taught me, it is the poignant cry of the empty room. In our little fold, there is a small bleating that is missing. There is still a bedroom that sits vacant, almost as though it has been holding it’s breath, waiting for the joyful arrival of it’s occupant. This sighing is probably the simple echo of our own hearts, as we try to digest the reality of no longer having Ezra here.

I am sure that people mean well when they say, “at least you have your daughter”, but they simply do not understand. I love my little girl so much, so very much. Yet, she is her own person, and can never fill the hole in my heart, where I mourn our baby. Finally, I began to understand the importance of Matthew 18:12-14, to truly see how much that God longs after every lost sheep. While the child within my home is precious to me, my heart weeps over the absence of the little lamb that I cannot hold. In our house, there is an empty room. I wonder if our heavenly Father doesn’t feel much the same way about His own great house.

In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. –John 14:2

Again and again, my mind runs back to the parable of the prodigal son. Knowing how much I long after my children, it brings the story so much life. I can see how a man of stature could throw aside all pride, not caring about how he looks to the world, running down the road to take his son in his arms. Now I understand more about the importance and the haste in sharing the gospel. For as much as I long to spend eternity in heaven, and to have my children there beside me… how much more so much God, who designed and created every facet of our beings? While flipping through the tv channels, I came across the movie, “Ray”. In one scene, Ray is a young boy who is outside playing with his little brother, George. In a terrible accident, George falls into a wash tub and drowns while Ray watches, too stunned to move. As their mother rocks and cries over her dead son, she looks up and asks Ray, “Why didn’t you do something? Why didn’t you call me?” Why didn’t you do something. One child stands and watches another lose their life, and is too overcome by fear to move. It’s tragic and terrible, and yet I know that it is happening every day. I have been that child, standing and watching. I know that many of my other brothers and sisters have done the same thing, paralyzed by the fear of what other people will think of us. Now, having an empty room myself, my own heart grieves for what our Father must feel to see us stand by the side, and not do anything to help His children who are drowning. No wonder why He calls us again and again to speak His Word, and to be His hands out in this world. We are surrounded by dying children.

Glory Baby

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going…But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”--John 14:1-4; 26-27

With so many people in urgent need of prayers right now, I hesitate to ask for them for our family. Not because God's too busy, but because I don't want to push anyone else off your personal prayer list. But I'm asking anyway...we are entering the one-year anniversary of the worst week of our lives. I apologize to all the "laborers" of the world, but Labor Day will always only be about Ruby for me. That Friday was the last day I was sure I felt her kick. Saturday was a blur, at home getting things done around the house. Then at church Sunday morning, I spent all of class and worship wondering what was wrong. We drove to BG as soon as church was over and I spent the next 36 hours trying to will little Ruby to wake up and kick, and slowly coming to grips with the reality I did not want to face. Back to Nashville Monday (Labor Day) evening, then on to Vanderbilt to confirm the awful news. Our Ruby Anne was gone. 24 weeks growing strong...and then nothing. She was born into our arms on Wednesday, September 6, 2006, at 4:33 pm. One pound, 12 inches, dark hair, tiny fingernails. We spent 6 precious hours cuddling the tent that would have been her. Sunday, September 10, we buried our daughter.

It feels just as real today as it did then. We've healed a lot in the year since she died, but this week the pain is all flooding back. Jared was so strong in protecting me and our family, through prayer, from Satan's attempts to use that time to divide us. We grew so much as a couple and as a family in the months following, in great part because of his constant prayer for us, especially for the weeks (months?) I could not put together a coherent thought, much less a prayer. Please pray that God will continue to protect us from Satan's attacks on us and division in our family. Pray that He will draw us close and that we (I) will not push Him away as I grieve all over again.

"Glory Baby, You slipped away as fast as we could say baby, baby,

You were growing, what happened, Dear? You disappeared on us baby, baby
Heaven will hold you before we do, Heaven will keep you safe

until we're home with you, until we're home with you

We miss you everyday, miss you in every way

But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you

And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay

We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you

So, baby, let sweet Jesus hold you, til Mom and Dad can hold you

You'll just have heaven before we do,

You'll just have heaven before we do…

Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it 'cause we're hurting,

we are hurting...But there is healing

and we know we're stronger people through the growing

and in knowing...All things work together for our good

And God works His purposes just like He said He would,

just like He said He would

But we miss you everyday, miss you in every way

But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you

And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay

We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you

So, baby, let sweet Jesus hold you, til Mom and Dad can hold you

You'll just have heaven before we do

Yes, you'll just have heaven before we do…

And I can't imagine Heaven's lullabies and what they must sound like

But I will rest in knowing Heaven is your home and it's all you'll ever know

Baby, it’s all you'll ever know, all you’ll ever know…

We miss you everyday, miss you in every way

But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you

And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay

I can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you

So, baby, let sweet Jesus hold you, til Mom and Dad can hold you

You'll just have heaven before we do

Yes, you'll just have heaven before we do,

You’ll just have heaven before we do..."

--"Glory Baby" by Watermark