Thir-TEEN

Today Connor officially became a teenager and literally celebrated it with a bang.  First it was celebrated with the ultimate gift Connor could ever receive...

For Connor, there's no better way to turn thirteen than to celebrate it with your very own private stash of thirteen boxes of your very own cereal. 


Then, with the help of our friends the Sharps, he was inducted into his teens in a swirl of gunfire and gas.

First on the birthday agenda was some serious go-kart racing.

Earlier that day, Mont set up a challenging race course at their family's tarp shop and turned their massive warehouse floor into
a giant slick kart track.

The boys division was a serious event...

 

Between the Sharps and Skillmans go-karts, there was always one that was pulling into the pits for repairs.  It seems they weren't really designed for the aggressive rough-housing we put them through over the years.

 

Among the aggressive racers, Connor and Rob are all-stars.  Here they are after they crashed while trying to squeeze each other out in a tight turn.  They knocked the conveyer belt down and one of them ran over Rob's sleeve...

 Which somehow managed to rip off his shirt sleeve but leave his arm unscathed!

 Rob then decided his sleeve made a nice racing headband.

And the girls races were even more competitive...

Let's just say that you do not want to underestimate the moms.  

Deanne and I were willing to run over more sleeves 

if necessary to cross the finish line FIRST.

After a serious battle of go-carts it was time for Nerf Wars!

Here's Team Skillman:

...and Team Sharp:

oh, and thanks guys...

nice touch shooting me right after I took this photo.

But I suppose that's what happens when you're embedded

in a war zone, there's a large possibility you'll get shot 

by UNfriendly fire.

Chloe and Mark were locked and loaded...

Kayleigh uses the shop supplies as a barricade:

Brock Sharp hides in the industrial shelving:

While Nick prefers an all out assult:

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Chloe:

 

Mitchell prefers a high point from which to snipe:

(he was pretty good at picking off people 

with his homemade blow dart contraption.)

Connor chose a unique way to 

both conseal himself from the enemy

and shield himself from darts:

No surprise here,

The Skillmans win the battle!

 Round two, three, four, and five got more serious:

 More sniping was involved:

This time by Brandon on the scissor lift.

And really really long range missile launching

by Mont was involved too:

 

This method was FAST and FURIOUS.

But once again, the Skillmans prevailed.

Our little Nerf-Capture-the-Flag ended in Skillman victory!

  

Not a bad way to turn 13.

Happy Birthday Con-Man!

The victory feast was pizza and an awesome ice cream and oreo cake made by Deanne.  Once again, the Sharps know how to throw an awesome party!

Fifty

Yep, Mark just turned 50.  50! Whoa!  So in an attempt to go easy on the old guy I thought I'd jot down 50 cheerful things you may find interesting for such a melancholy milestone...

First off...Fifty can't be that old.  
These young bucks are turning fifty right along with him...

• Eddie Murphy
• George Clooney
• Michael J. Fox
• Laurence Fishburne
• Ralph Macchio
• Wayne Gretzky
• Vince Neil  (of Motley Crew)
• Fabio
• Dennis Rodman
• Steve Young

And here's ten reasons Mark sure doesn't act like a 50-year old:

• He can wakeboard 360 degrees around the ski boat.
• He can ride a wheely on his quad for miles.
• He's pulls off some crazy moves on the trampoline.
• He skateboards around the house (yes inside the house!)
• He's placed second in his age division in every triathlon he's entered.
• He was just three minutes shy of qualifying for the Boston Marathon.
• He can jump wake to wake on his wakeboard. 
• Connor's baseball coaches had him pitch to the kids during practices cause he's still got a mean fastball.
• He's always the first to propose a game that involves danger and the possibility of trauma, scars, and or bruises.
• He avoids buffets like the plague.  Old, cranky, senior-discount plagues.

But then again, 
there's ten reasons we can't deny that he really has gotten older:

• At 50, he's actually old enough to join AARP.
• All the LITE radio stations are programmed into his radio's auto-tune buttons.
• When he grows a beard it comes in gray.  I rather fancy it though.
• He wears his readers anytime, anywhere, and doesn't care who sees.
• Slippers have become his favorite footwear.

• He likes to wear his noise cancelling headphones even when there's hardly any noise to cancel out.
• He lingers longer when flipping channels and pauses on trivia game shows.  It's only a matter of time before he just tunes in for the whole show and shouts out the answers.
• If you write him a love note, better do it in large print.  Or at least scan it and send it to his ipad.
• He's rather fond of the weekend nap.
• If someone teases him about his age he turns into                 Mr. Crankypants.  We tease him anyway.

Although, turning 50 does has its advantages...

• You're actually old enough to join AARP.
• Krispie Kreme gives you 10% off their donuts.
• You can save 20% off your monthly Gold's Gym membership.
• Sea World gives you $3 off a one-day ticket.
• and so does Busch Gardens.
• You can save 25% off at National Rent-a-Car
• You now qualify for K-Mart's "Gold K Prescription" discount program.
• Every Tuesday you'll save 10% at Goodys.
• and 10% off on Tuesdays at Michaels Craft.
• and now you can dress like your always on an African safari with your 10% discount at Banana Republic.

And if that's not cool enough...here's ten more interesting things about 50:

• 50 is the score on the center of a dartboard known as a "bullseye".
• The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim retired the number 50.
• 50 is the atomic number of tin.
• An ant can lift 50 times its weight.
• The Roman Numeral for the number 50 is "L".
• The 50-move rules in chess: if there have been 50 consecutive moves of white and black chess pieces without any piece taken or any pawn moved, then a player can claim a draw.
• Back in 1986, Nevada’s Highway 50 was named the “Loneliest Highway in America” by LIFE Magazine.
• The U.S. Senate vote result in a tie 50-50 is the only situation that the U.S. Vice-President has a chance to cast his vote to break the tie.
• The critical speed in the movie “Speed” is 50 mph.  
• Londinium in Britain was founded by the Romans in the year 50 AD.

Happy Birthday Mark! 
You're still young to me.

The Eyebrow Collection

In honor of Connor's 11th Birthday, I give you...

The Eyebrow Collection

Happy Birthday Connor!

48 reMARKable Facts

48 Facts About the Birthday Boy:

1. Won't eat bananas, too squishy.
2. Found a dead body when he was a kid.
3. Speaks fluent Japanese.
4. Hardcore grammar cop, he'll even correct a love note.
5. Rarely reads non-fiction.                                                           (and only Michael Crichton and Clive Cussler if he does.)
   
6. Hates needles, blood, and gore-but has 3 diabetic kids!
7. He's a fish underwater, he can free dive and recover items that go overboard without even a mask and snorkel.
8. Can ride a wheely on his quad for several miles.
   
9. Has taken his wife out on a date every friday night for the last 19 years.
10. Collected sharks teeth as a kid growing up in Santa Cruz.
    
11. Hates Guacamole, too squishy, too green.
12. Expert at finding lost items his wife loses.
13. Finished a triathlon, training for more.
    
14. Goes to bed excruciatingly early, always has.
15. Serious lawn connoisseur, loves to mow and edge.
16. Chews on his straw when he's done drinking with it.
17. Loves giving family speeches.
18. Laughs hysterically at the Three Stooges, Pink Panther, Monty Python, Caddy Shack, Home Alone, Chevy Chase movies, and all other ridiculously silly comedies.
    
19. Loves to chew gum but hates it when people chew it with their mouth open.
20. Never sleeps in.
           (his motto is: "You can sleep when your dead.")
    
21. Notices details...
22. ...but Forgets peoples names.
23. Doesn't like it when people stand around with their hands in their pockets.
24. Half Southern, his mom is a Southern Bell through and through.
25. Picks up the downstairs every Sunday morning before everyone wakes up.
26. Avoids eating onions, hates it when others do and breathe near him.
27. Loves to climb steep hills on his bike.  Likes to time himself and break his own climbing record.
28. Doesn't like dirty floors and will mop or vacuum them so they're clean.
29. Doesn't realize his wife never cleans the floors cause she knows he will if she lets it go.
30. Will stop along the road and help people change a flat tire.
    
31. Hates pudding, too squishy.
32. Likes Good n' Plenty candy (we call it Bad n' Too Much).
33. Was a passenger in a car that flipped three times.
34. Listens to talk radio.
35. Can make waffles and Grilled Cheese, that's it.  Oh wait, he can also make killer reservations!
    
36. Holds a pilots license, scuba license, sailing license, ham-radio license, and an Autotopia license from Disneyland.
    
37. Gets made fun of by the rest of the family for having the ham-radio license.
38. Likes to make his kids work.
    
39. Keeps his truck annoyingly clean.
40. Owns a trailer for every occasion.  A small trailer for his riding lawnmower, a trailer for his trash, a trailer for his equipment, and a trailer for his toys.  Way too many trailers.
    
41. Doesn't like carving pumpkins, too squishy.
42. Dreams of taking his family sailing for a year.  
43. Likes to clip his kid's toe nails so they stay clean.  And paint Chloe's fingernails for her.
44. Likes black licorice (Ewww!). Loves black licorice covered in chocolate (what a horrible thing to do to chocolate!).
45. Loves to ski, snowboard, wakeboard, and ride quads.
46. Hates following behind really slow drivers on rural roads.  He and Mitchell like to compete for the record of who has followed the slowest driver all the way home.  (The record just recently got re-set by Mitchell who claims he followed behind someone going 21-the speed limit is 55!)
47. Never gets poison oak.
    
48. Celebrates his birthday at midnight so he can share it with his son whose birthday is the following day.

Happy Birthday Mark!

The PERFECT Gift

Last week, an unexpected and belated fortieth birthday gift arrived on my doorstep. It came from my friend Cindy who became my instant best friend when I moved to Oregon, some thirty years ago. Cindy will probably kill me for

1. pointing out the fact that we're old enough to have a friend for over thirty years and...
2. posting this photo of us...

 Unfortunately it was the only photo I could find without going deep into the archives. I shall preempt most of her complaints by telling you this was NOT an everyday picture of us, we were actually dressed up in country costume (although the costume may not be too far from the truth!).

Just days before Cindy's own 40th birthday, she mailed a gift.  Inside was the most PERFECT birthday gift ever...dare I say I've never seen anyone own anything like it, but I'll let Cindy explain.

Cindy will now be my first official "guest blogger".  Here are excerpts from the letter inside the box...

"I know this letter may come as a surprise given my history of avoiding written communication in the form of letter writing, no to mention blogging, tweeting, etc. as much as possible without causing offense.  So, you may need to find a chair and sit down while you read this to avoid undue stress on your aging organs.

Well, the reason for my letter is simply to wish you a belated birthday.  I've been thinking about you this summer and anticipating your birthday but not knowing exactly what to get a friend who has it all.  Contemplating what is the perfect gift for someone who has earned many titles to date including  friend, wife, mother, mother-in-law, and now grandmother lurking just around the corner.  At this time, nearly three weeks has passed since the anticipated birthday even had come and gone and still I was at a loss.

It was in this state of mind that I found myself standing in the Nordstrom gift department several weeks ago (I must mention here that Cindy works for Nordstrom)...I was secretly trying to find just the perfect gift...at a clearance/employee discounted price which would be concealed...until the item was returned or exchanged at a later date when...undoubtedly it would be disappointing to discover the item's cash value was far less than anticipated.  I surveyed the racks for possibilities...I reluctantly decided to abandon the ill-fated shopping trip...

 As I exited by yet another table strewn with overpriced, bejeweled frames, something so simple yet so compelling caught my eye.  Really, the juxtaposition of the two items on the table left me wondering if the sales person had any idea what statement he or she were making when they laid out these two items on display.   I stopped to consider what at first appeared to be discarded portions of a cardboard box,  perhaps forgotten when a pair of aging Jr. League ladies stopped in to purchase overpriced, Swarovski crystal studded ceramic food dish for their pet chihuahuas.  Upon further investigation, the plain, accordion folded cardboard objects were exactly what I had been looking for all summer!  It turns out, the PERFECT GIFT for a lifetime friend who has everything, it is so simple it borders on ridiculous.  The perfect gift for my now 40 year old friend is a cardboard vase that can also be worn as a hat!  It meets all the requirements:

• Environmentally Friendly-  It is made of recycled cardboard so you can proudly wear it downtown Ashland without fear of attack by environmental enthusiasts.
  

• Chic- Strait off the runway, appropriate in both Manhattan and Lithia parks
  

• Unique- You will be the first one wearing it in the Rogue Valley.  Perhaps even some aspiring entrepreneur will see you in it and be inspired to reopen Rare Earth and become a millionaire.
  

• Multifunctional- Fashion for your head and home.  when you come home from picking the kids up at baseball practice, and you have only 20 minutes until your dinner party guest arrive, simply remove the hat and place it on the table.  Add a handful of tulips and you have the perfect center piece.  Don't add water.
  

• Clever- Acquaintances will be so stunned by your appearance, they will forget to ask how old you just turned and you will be spared all the "over-the-hill" cliches.
  

• Funny- Need I say more?

Oh Cindy!  THANK YOU!  I am...well...speechless!  And, that my friend, is quite an accomplishment!

Here's my lovely hat/vase...I had the perfect flowers to display in it;  some beautiful duct tape roses made by Mitchell, no water needed for these beauties...

And here I am wearing my lovely hat/vase:

Jealous?  I thought so...I shall proudly wear this to the elementary school's open house this week.  Very posh.  The other mother's will be corrugated with envy!

Now...what to get for Cindy?

Free Falling into Forty

So what do you do when you turn forty? Seriously, this is an important question. You can't just succumb to the supreme awfulness of turning that certain age you consider all old people! So my thought was to do something radical...but nothing so radical that would upset my parole officer and land me back in jail (okay just kidding there for all those folks who aren't sure if I wasn't). So plunging out of an airplane seemed like just the thing to do in my fight against old age!

Since I was resigned to my fate I began to form a master plan. I knew I'd be in Utah on the day when my personal mileage counter turned over to 4-0, which is conveniently where my sister Steph lives...yes, my scared, wimpy, easily frightened sister! A big evil smile spreads across my face at this thought. I didn't know if she would do it but I knew I'd be willing to pester her until she caved into the peer pressure...and besides, that's what I wanted for my birthday-for her to jump with me!

I got her talked into it and Steph spent a month freaking out about it but the day of the jump she seemed excited and ready to go...until she saw this sign! Cool enough, she had gotten so excited about actually jumping that nothing was going to stop her!








Here's a funny sign hanging near the counter. I particularly like RULE #9, seriously, if there were problems isn't there a point to which you would actually have nothing else to do but to give up?
Here's the three amigos. Steph, Me, and Kent Tucker. Kent is Steph's father-in-law. She talked him into jumping with us so that she wouldn't back out of her commitment!

Me and my dive buddy. Here we are violating each others personal space as we prepare to jump. Notice he politely looks askew as he tethers my strappy-straps and I help by looking yonder myself! My favorite part in the large bright orange danger label affixed to the BACK of my jacket. A place where I'm most unlikely to see it! Good thinking!
Here I am getting ready to jump, I was totally excited.

Here's me and Steph, I've got two thumbs up ready to go, she's got one thumb up and another cautiously down, and in the front of the photo is my other victim who looks a little too worried to unclinch his firmly affixed hands from his seat to give us any sort of hand gesture at all.. Jury is out on what is going on in Kent Tucker's head!


The leap for life! All smiles!













Look real close and you'll see our landing site. Yeah, were gonna try landing in that teesy weensy itty bitty green grassy patch right in front of the large metal hangers...wish us luck!



Here's Steph and I after the jump! It was soooo GREAT!! We were ready to do it again. Yes, that's Kent right under steph's arm in this photo, not so sure he was ready to go back up just then, he was taking care of a little "business". We now call him "The Puker"!

Here were are with our official graduate certificates! My sister is framing hers cause she really proud of her achievement. I told her to frame it next to her Disneyland Autotopia Driver's Licence cause it's probably just as "official"!
This was THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!! Who's in for next year??