What the Hella's Cabela's?

We couldn't resist stopping by Cabela's while trekking through Utah. Cabela's, as Connor explains it, "is like a dream store for men". And because the men...er...boys insisted that we've done far more "girl stuff" on our trip to the Beehive State, we not only stopped at Cabela's, we made an afternoon of it and perused the store the way only a Skillman can-like it was Disneyland on the cheap! (Thank goodness Mark was not with us or we'd of gotten in far more mischief than we did-he's the ring-leader of all retail store ruckus and medical office mischief.)
We arrive just in time to watch this guy use all-natural cleaning products to clean the artificial river that flows from the artificial waterfall that springs forth mightily off the artificial mountain.
Now how many sporting goods stores will sell you a field cannon? Not many, I'll tell you that.
...and at a bargain price too. This baby WAS $5499.99! I paid way more than that for my last field cannon.
The boys head for the shooting gallery. Unfortunately for a dozen or so unsuspecting shoppers, they discovered that a few of the targets squirt water when you hit them. I think they spent about $10 in coins so they could keep luring curious kids and a few of their parents to walk by so they could get them wet. This poor kid in the blue shirt is about to get wet.
Oh glory be! Right in the middle of the store we found the mother lode of all sporting good treasures! Camouflage! Not your ordinary camo, camo on steroids!! Oh they just begged to be tried on! .
Seriously, I think Mitchell looked more like Sasquatch or the Swamp Thing than a hunter trying to "blend" into nature-unless he was hunting at a peat moss farm. The boys decided it would be fun to hang around ever so still next to racks and wait for folks to come by to scare. Then we decided it would be more fun to play hide and seek. Here Chloe is dressed as the seeker, and she will attempt to find her brothers who will be creeping around the store in their stylish suits. The game will start right after I go find a hunting whistle to blow.
Imagine how excited your house guests would be if they saw this fabulous table top photo album that can hold over 60 photos of your treasured hunting and fishing memories sitting on your coffee table. Hours of fun wouldn't you say? It was then that we decided to go on a treasure hunt of our own.
And now, for your viewing pleasure, we proudly searched every inch of Cabela's to bring you our round-up of the best sporting goods we think money can buy. Here are some of the more interesting items we found...

Chloe found this Camo baby onesie. How many fathers are really out there who take their baby's hunting with them and need a camo onesie for the little feller? And if there was such a dad, we wondered if a baby wearing camo to go on a hunting trip with him would be a good idea, because you know fathers tend to lose their children. And what exactly would said father say if the child wandered off and got lost and he had to then give a description of his missing baby?

"...Well, Mr. Park Ranger, uh, I guess you could say my baby looks a lot like the forest, only without that pine-fresh scent"
.
A light up hat, just in case it's now after dark and dad is still looking for his lost baby who he dressed in a camo onesie to go hunting.
This should certainly help your golf handicap.
Chloe found this marshmallow-shaped lollypop on a stick. Let's say you had trouble making a campfire so you couldn't make smores, this could be your backup dessert.
Connor found this chair that shades you from the sun (or rain in case you're camping in Oregon). That way you wouldn't have to feel like you were outside camping in the sun.
It even comes with a cooler in the arm rest, that way you don't have to make the long hike to the ice chest by the picnic table.
This bullet pen would be great for signing traffic tickets.
Ever thought your plain old tazer gun was boring and bland? Cabela's sells them in hot pink and neon blue! Connor and Chloe said they'd like them in their Christmas stockings next year. I quickly jotted that down for ol' St. Nick.
Seriously, I've been complaining for years that my duck call just doesn't sound authentic enough to lure in the right birds. This $199 one looks like it might have a better tone, now if I could just get a sales person over to demonstrate the difference for me...
Do you dare ever take these Camo Wellies off outside? I have enough trouble finding my regular shoes.
I saved my personal favorite for last...

Jeff Foxworthy Beef Jerky. How cool do you have to be to have your own line of beef jerky? and in "FAMILY REUNION SIZE" no less!

Oh Cabela's, I could hunt you down, stuff you, and hang you on my wall in the office! You really are like no other retail store on Earth!

Free Falling into Forty

So what do you do when you turn forty? Seriously, this is an important question. You can't just succumb to the supreme awfulness of turning that certain age you consider all old people! So my thought was to do something radical...but nothing so radical that would upset my parole officer and land me back in jail (okay just kidding there for all those folks who aren't sure if I wasn't). So plunging out of an airplane seemed like just the thing to do in my fight against old age!

Since I was resigned to my fate I began to form a master plan. I knew I'd be in Utah on the day when my personal mileage counter turned over to 4-0, which is conveniently where my sister Steph lives...yes, my scared, wimpy, easily frightened sister! A big evil smile spreads across my face at this thought. I didn't know if she would do it but I knew I'd be willing to pester her until she caved into the peer pressure...and besides, that's what I wanted for my birthday-for her to jump with me!

I got her talked into it and Steph spent a month freaking out about it but the day of the jump she seemed excited and ready to go...until she saw this sign! Cool enough, she had gotten so excited about actually jumping that nothing was going to stop her!








Here's a funny sign hanging near the counter. I particularly like RULE #9, seriously, if there were problems isn't there a point to which you would actually have nothing else to do but to give up?
Here's the three amigos. Steph, Me, and Kent Tucker. Kent is Steph's father-in-law. She talked him into jumping with us so that she wouldn't back out of her commitment!

Me and my dive buddy. Here we are violating each others personal space as we prepare to jump. Notice he politely looks askew as he tethers my strappy-straps and I help by looking yonder myself! My favorite part in the large bright orange danger label affixed to the BACK of my jacket. A place where I'm most unlikely to see it! Good thinking!
Here I am getting ready to jump, I was totally excited.

Here's me and Steph, I've got two thumbs up ready to go, she's got one thumb up and another cautiously down, and in the front of the photo is my other victim who looks a little too worried to unclinch his firmly affixed hands from his seat to give us any sort of hand gesture at all.. Jury is out on what is going on in Kent Tucker's head!


The leap for life! All smiles!













Look real close and you'll see our landing site. Yeah, were gonna try landing in that teesy weensy itty bitty green grassy patch right in front of the large metal hangers...wish us luck!



Here's Steph and I after the jump! It was soooo GREAT!! We were ready to do it again. Yes, that's Kent right under steph's arm in this photo, not so sure he was ready to go back up just then, he was taking care of a little "business". We now call him "The Puker"!

Here were are with our official graduate certificates! My sister is framing hers cause she really proud of her achievement. I told her to frame it next to her Disneyland Autotopia Driver's Licence cause it's probably just as "official"!
This was THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!! Who's in for next year??

Baseball, Con-Dog, and BYU...24Sev

Just picked up Connor and Severin Hassell from a week of fun in the sun at BYU's baseball camp. They had a blast, and I had a ton of fun washing their WHITE uniforms each night so they could be stainless and stink-free! Next year we'll choose a camp with dark uniforms! Here they are on their field of dreams...


Here's the biggest team cheer you'll ever see...most of the kids (the one's paying attention anyway) are all reaching into the center of the mob to start their day.
Connor and Sev worked hard all day in the heat of the sun, they came home each night fully stained with dirt and grass and very stinky. Let me tell you that Tide with Bleach really does work, and my personal laundry tip...TWO fabric softener sheets! Works great!






Sev liked to sleep on the treadmill each night! He put down a sleeping pad went to sleep. Perhaps he felt like sleeping there meant he was never far from a workout. This photo was actually taken in the morning. I woke them up, got them fed, they got dressed and then went back to sleep until it was time to go!




Connor passed out after breakfast and did the same thing.









Sev ready for another full day of practice heads up to the dug-out.









Pretty nice dug-out, these boys are used to the hometown variety back in Ashland.







They loved the indoor batting cages right behind the dugout and out of the summer heat!






Lots of practice. Here they are practicing the basics of pants staining. They have definitely mastered this.





After practice, there's no better place than the BYU Creamery. These boys did not complain about standing in their notoriously long summer lines...
They were just happy to be in an airconditioned place and out of the sun!
Now if I could just find a laundry camp...