This gives me an idea for a challenging “Man vs. Wild” episode. Enduring the badlands of Death Valley, wilds of Africa, or even the barren tundra of the Antarctic, simply can’t hold a candle to the stamina it takes to sit on frigid metal bleachers in the heart of an Oregon spring and survive just four innings of a Little League game in Southern Oregon without sustaining a life-threatening case of frostbite. Let’s see Bear Grylls do that!
Last Tuesday, during Connor’s game, it was a classic spring scene. By “classic”, I don’t mean that the flowers were blooming, the sun was shining, and birds were chirping. I mean “classic” as in, the clouds were amassing, the wind was raging, the people were freezing and teeth were chattering, kind of spring. Huddled together shoulder-to-shoulder inside the scorekeeper’s box, the smart mothers had banded together and perched themselves inside to gain shelter from the wrath of Mother Nature. I’m sure they would have welcomed our extra body heat and let us inside, but the team mom and I foolishly decided to be the kind of hard core spectators that opted for the dramatic high adventure offered by the great outdoors, even risking the life-threatening hypothermic condition I like to call “bleacher buns”.
This photo is a classic example of a Trompe L'oeil, what the french refer to as "to fool the eye". Here Connor may appear as though he is in the middle of an action shot, but in reality, he froze in this position and had to be carried off and thawed for 30 minutes by the fireplace once we got home.
Thankfully, Mitchell is playing spring tennis, and lucky for us there are no bleachers to freeze upon at the tennis courts. Happily, parents are left to survey the scene from the heart of the parking lot inside their idling cars while basking in the glorious heat of forced air. Another Trompe L'oeil masterpiece below. Mitchell appears warm, but notice the jacket he's wearing. There is nothing "California Spring" about this shot, it is Oregon Spring in all its splendor.
I have considered contacting the folks who manufacture my beloved Uugs, because they just don't make them high enough to warm the outdoor spectator. I think they should consider a full-body Uug suit that looks similar to those footed jammies we all used to wear as kids. Until they do, I have a plan for next year...check the seating conditions provided for the spectators before signing up the kids for spring sports. This is important information I have seriously overlooked. I will be encouraging them to sign up for sports that start with the word "indoor", such as, "indoor dodgeball" or "indoor water aerobics". Doesn't that sound like fun?Until then, I will keep reminding myself that this is Oregon after all...and spring in all its wind-whipped frozen glory is here! Let’s play ball!
