Cat in a Shoe Box

An empty shoe box never remains empty for long as a cat will always fill its space.  I bought some new walking shoes for my Sunday walks and put the empty box aside.  Before long Gizmo was cozily tucked up in its confines.  An old 'war injury' is playing him up at the moment (January 2015) and he limps around with all the the vigour of an old man in poor health.  He's not even 10 years old yet but I can feel the sharpening of his bones beneath his loosened fur.  He still eats well and goes out during the day and even slept on my lap a few weeks ago!  This wild old rocker is certainly getting near the pipe and slippers phase of his life.

A Sad Little Cat

*Update The vet decided not to keep Gizmo in after all and suggested a prescription diet based on his previous health history.  The thing is will he eat this new food? So far he just turns his nose up at it!  We will just have to give it time.

 Gizmo is off to the vets for an over night stay.  He will be put on a drip and have various tests.  I have a sense of deja vu.  He came home late on Wednesday night and has vomited every day since.  I bathe his watery eyes and try to get him to eat and drink.  When he eats he brings his food back up.  I hope that he will return home again but at the moment he is a sorry sight and it is hard to imagine a happy outcome.

Lazy Days In Between

After a whirlwind three days of food, drink, good company and merry making at last I have a day to myself.  A lazy day.  A lazy day of doing what I want when I want.  My kind of day.

Now the festivities are winding down I am looking towards 2016.  I know that I have a very busy year ahead of me.  This is not a year for me to stay in the shadows.  This year I need to get moving forward in many areas of my life and so bearing that in mind I have chosen the word ADVANCE as my word for 2016.  I like to choose a word to focus on each year as it keeps me on track to achieve the goals I have set for myself. 

I hope that you are all well in this strange 'in between' Christmas and the new year period.  I am going to have a quiet day of flicking through some TV channels, reading the paper and maybe snoozing for a while too.

I look forward to catching up with all your blogs very soon.

Reminiscing About Kitten Days

Looking at Lyn's post on her new kitten family it reminded me of when we first got Gizmo 8 years ago!  Here he is pictured above.  He had such a tiny little tail back then that grew into a great big bushy fox like tail.  He looks so timid in that photo but from day one he showed who boss was!

It has been a very strange week.  On Monday I put up some photos of me on this blog, then I took them down.  I put the photos back up yesterday and then took them down again!  I would like you to see who writes this blog at some stage but perhaps not such close up mug shots!

I'm in one of my fidgety moods today.  There are some uncertainties in my life at the moment and I feel that I can't settle until things are put into place.  Hopefully things will be ironed out shortly.

A Sign of Life in the Greenhouse

There is just one sign of life in the greenhouse.  Feline Gingerous lies on a discarded duvet oblivious to the decaying plants around him.  I decided to give the greenhouse a miss this year and if Gizmo wants to use the 'house' as a second home then it is fine by me.    

What Would You Put in Your Manifesto?

With the UK general elections looming I got to thinking about what I would put in my manifesto if I was standing for election. One of the things on my list would be: 

Affordable Veterinary Care

So far this year over £800 has been spent at the vets surgery regarding Gizmo.  The latest saga was him getting bitten through a haematoma on his ear.  The vet administered antibiotics and after about a ten minute consultation we were handed a bill of £91.98.  The vet said that the antibiotic may not work and the only way to get rid of the haematoma would be to operate at a cost of £500.00.  There is a chance that the haematoma will reoccur after an operation.   Well, that's not happening then so it seems that Gizmo will spend the rest of his life with a cauliflower ear.

I get so fed up with T.V programmes encouraging people to take on a pet without stressing how much they could potentially cost to keep.   Gizmo was born in the wild and taken in with his Mum and siblings by Cats Protection.  When we went to view him he was in the foster carers garden in a cage.  The foster carer said that he needed to be handled a lot to get used to humans.  She used to lay him on his back and stick her fingers in his mouth.  Today Gizmo will want to attack a person if they put their hands anywhere near his face.  When we brought Gizmo home he would hide behind the sofa for weeks and only come out when forced.  Even as a tiny kitten he would leap up at me and bite me at every opportunity.  I even phoned Cats Protection up for advice and they said to give it time.  I don't think he has ever really been suitable as a house cat. I wouldn't buy an animal from a rescue centre again.  I know these centres have the animals best interests at heart but they don't always judge things right.  Gizmo is a fighter.  I don't think he should have ever been offered up as an indoor cat.

Anyway, to get back to the main title of this post, if you was standing for election what one thing would you put in your manifesto?

The Ginger's Back in Town

My ginger boy is almost back to his playful (naughty) self.  We had a horrible start to the year when he got bitten but he is gradually getting his self confidence back.  He never seems to stray far from the house now.  He has never been a lap cat but now spends evenings sat next to me on the sofa.  Occasionally, he'll reach out his paw and touch me whilst he is nodding off.  I think it is a reassurance thing.

Testing Times

January has been a testing month for me.  The Gizmo saga was just one of many unhappy events that have occurred since Christmas.  Today I had a dental appointment.  Regular readers of this blog will know how traumatic a visit to the dentist is for me (and for many of you too).  I started to shake uncontrollably when the dentist hit a nerve and when I saw the contraption he was going to put in my mouth for an x-ray I almost went into meltdown!  Today was just a scale and polish and a check up but I know that there is a ticking time bomb in my mouth that I need to monitor over the coming months.  It seems that the back root (under a crown) has broken away and come up exposed through my gum.  I have no idea how much this will be to 'fix' (I couldn't face discussing this today) but I would imagine it will mean losing  the crown and tooth.  I am told that unless it is causing me problems to return in six months.  Today's visit was £50.00.  I went home with a pounding headache and backache from tensing myself in the chair.  Shortly after the receptionist from the surgery phoned me to say that the dentist had detected a filling I need to have done on another x-ray.  She said to return in about a month to have it done - it will be £50.00. 

Gizmo is healing nicely now but the blue bandage around his back leg (to prevent him from scratching out his stitches) lasted precisely two days.  We found the bandage intact behind the sofa like a discarded sock!  I just need to monitor him now to make sure that the neck wound doesn't open up again.  On Monday he needs to have half the stitches removed and then we need a further visit to have the remaining stitches removed.

The photo above was taken 9 days ago.  Pretty ice that had formed on a glass table outside in the garden.  I liked the way it was shimmering in the sunlight.  I am having to dig deep to look for 'happy' things at the moment.  Let's try:

• my Amaryllis plant has two buds on it
• I have the ingredients to make chocolate chip muffins 
• I have books to read
• January is nearly over!  Hooray!!!

I hope that February gives me some slack and time to process what has gone on in this whirlwind month. 

Today and Yesterday

Advanced warning!  Readers may find the second photo distressing as it is a close up of Gizmo's neck after the session with the vet yesterday.

I keep telling myself  'think nice thoughts'.  Doing so I can transport myself back to a beach in St Lucia 27 years ago.  The palms were swaying and I was sipping a Pina Colada from a coconut shell.   Carefree days looking out to the ocean, the pitons in the distance.........

Back to more recent events. Yesterday was another stressful day and my anxiety level was through the roof.  We took Gizmo back to the vet for our scheduled appointment.  Just before I put him in the carry basket I noticed that some of his stitches were missing, once again leaving a gaping hole.  Back at the vets he stapled the hole together and wrapped up Gizmo's back leg with a bandage to prevent him from scratching the stitches/staples out.  We were told that if it opened up after this time they would have to operate again.

This 're-consultation' and treatment cost an additional £91.57.  The bandage application excluding materials alone was £24.00.  Am I going mad?  We were with the vet for a maximum of 10 minutes and 5 minutes of that was spent with him taking Gizmo to another room to staple his neck.  It is not so much about the money (although we can't really afford these costs to go on much longer) it is more about the greed and lack of empathy that infuriates me most of all and the misdiagnosis in the first place (sprained leg) which has allowed the situation to escalate. 

The photo above is Gizmo today lying on my bed this morning.  He can't walk properly with his tightly bandaged leg and keeps trying to shake it off.  He was snoring when I took this photo and he must have been dreaming too as his whiskers were twitching.

This photo shows how he looked after seeing the vet yesterday.  How the hell did the vet expect all the stitches to stay in when they were so sparse in the first place?  I wonder how much it costs 'per stitch'!  Anyway I hope the staples hold out until out next vet visit on Wednesday evening.  I am scared that Gizmo will catch the staples on something and am paranoid if I can't see him for a few minutes in case he is scratching behind the furniture where I can't get access to him.

This recent experience has put me off having a pet ever again. 

Serenity - Hah!

I think that I was probably a bit too quick to come up with a word to live the year by.  As you may recall my word of choice was serenity and so far this year has been far from serene.  In that respect the word was a good choice because I am having to come up with outlets to help me achieve serenity and my newly rekindled love for Zentangle is helping me do just that.

I am still finding it hard to come to terms with what happened to Gizmo and am thankful that he is still with us.  I really must stop worrying about external factors that I cannot control and accept that these things are part of life and part of maturing and evolving as a person.

I took this photo of Gizmo yesterday.  It looks like a chunk of his right side is missing but it only looks so bad because his fur has been cut away.  Today he's been purring and trying to play a little bit.  He is eating and drinking well so they are both good signs.

Gizmo Post Op - Graphic Photo Warning!

This is how Gizmo looked when I brought him back from the vet's yesterday evening.  I was shocked to see that a lot of his fur had been shaved off and concerned that he didn't have any type of dressing over the wounds.  I think that people say it is best to get the air circulating around a cut but I am worried if he knocks himself and starts to bleed.

He is due to return to the vets on Monday and then at a later date to have the stitches removed. In the meantime he refuses to have his antibiotics and medicine no matter how hard I try to disguise them in his food. Oh well, lets hope that things improve as the day goes by. 

A big thank you for all your good wishes.  It really does help to know that people care. x

It Never Rains But it Pours

Isn't it strange how luck, good or bad, seems to come in a run of events.  Despite trying to remain upbeat this year (and I am really trying) things have not really been that great.

To update you with Gizmo, he has two nasty infected abscess's caused by a cat bite in the fight he had two weeks ago.  These bites were not discovered by the vet when he was initially checked over.  During the last couple of days I noticed that Gizmo was giving off a really nasty smell and looked unkempt around his lower neck area and on the back of his neck.  This morning I attempted to put him in the bath and gently wash those areas that had become matted.  He did not let me do this willingly and I was shocked when I discovered why.  As his fur parted under his neck I noticed a gaping wound. 

To cut a long and laborious story short, he has to go under general anaesthetic and the operation is tricky because the wound is near a jugular vein.

I had to sit down when the vet estimated that the bill will be around £700.  It is at times like this that I wish I'd had him insured.

Zenspired

I have been using my new watercolour paints to make background washes until I get used to them.  On the postcard above I have added a zentangle/doodle design incorporating my word (Serenity) for 2015.  I must say though that the bitty design I have created doesn't leave me feeling serene at all even if the process was calming!  Much more practise is needed until I am satisfied with the outcome.

To update on Gizmo: he is still very poorly and not left the house since last Thursday.  It pains me to see him so lethargic after being such an agile cat.  I am sure he will recover in time and I remain upbeat in knowing that I am doing the best as I can for him.

January has been an unkind month, with the shocking news and  sudden death of an energetic and likable vineyard volunteer. I remain resolute is squeezing as much goodness and joy out of life as I can.  I count my blessings often and will never take life for granted.

After a night of howling wind and heavy rain, the day has started quietly.  The clouds are lifting and the sun is pushing its way through.  Time for a brisk walk and some contemplation.

Lame

Poor Gizmo is lame at the moment.  On Thursday evening My OH heard cats fighting in the street.  I didn't hear as I was busy in the kitchen preparing dinner.  A little while later Gizmo showed up at the dining room window to be let in.  As he jumped down I noticed he was limping badly.  I don't know whether he was injured fighting with another cat or from jumping down from a high place.

He is quite poorly and not been out of the house since Thursday apart from a trip to the vets where he was prescribed painkillers.  He sits with his front right paw elevated and spends most of his day sleeping and looking very sorry for himself.

Although this is not a great start for the second week in the new year, at least his injury is manageable.  It could have been a lot worse.  Any positive thoughts towards a speedy recovery for Gizmo (he hates being stuck indoors!) would be most appreciated. x

Riding the Storm

I recognise that I am going through a difficult patch at the moment as many people are/do.  Sometimes I just feel like wallowing in a pity pit of despair as I go round and round in circles unable to make decisions, but there is a spark in me that is a fighter and today that spark was truly ignited.

At the weekend I informed the vineyard that I didn't feel able to continue volunteering there at the moment due to my current mindset and continuing coughs and colds and not knowing from one week to the next if I am able to attend the session or not.  A response I received from them today got me so angry and riled up, it confirmed to me that there is still life in the old cat yet! 

Now, I wasn't expecting them to beg me to stay but a few words to make me feel as though I was a valued member of the team would have been nice - I had been there since July 2011.  Instead I got a generic 'thank you for all your help' from admin and an 'exit' form to fill out.  AN EXIT FORM TO FILL OUT!!!  I am still fuming now.  This kind of insensitivity makes me now feel that my decision to leave was the correct one.  The exit form is an opportunity to leave feedback on the vineyard experience and I understand the usefulness in people saying why they wanted to leave but I think to send me an exit form less than two days after I informed them of my decision was too soon.  I am probably being over sensitive about this but a few kind words rather than an 'exit' form would have been appreciated and maybe even reversed my decision to leave.

Anyway,  I feel strangely invigorated by my indignation and ready to step forward with my one woman fight for all that I deem to be unjust!

A Cat with Attitude

I was going to put up a cute picture of Gizmo but thought I would show you his dark side instead!  If looks could kill surely I would be dead? 

He was most disgruntled that I found his new 'hiding' place between some plastic netting and a disused bench.   'You looking at me?'

Gizmo's Patch

Gizmo likes to sit in this rather unsightly area known as the perennial patch.  Close to untamed grass and to the catmint, he is happy to sit and watch the World go by (well, the birds, bees and butterflies anyhow.)

Agility

Oh to be a cat. To be able to climb to the highest point and survey all that is below you.  I don't know how Gizmo managed to reach the top of the washing line post but claws, agility and sheer determination must have got him there.

Talking of agility, I am not feeling very agile today.  Something 'went' in my back on Tuesday night and I am shuffling around like a person twice my age.  Even trying to put on a slipper requires a strategic plan.  After my euphoria of last week I am feeling a little downbeat today.  It is impossible to bend down and reach anything below table height without shouting out an expletive!  To sneeze is most terrifying and I have to brace myself each time it happens.  I don't know what else to do except 'ride the storm'.

I have put on the filter coffee machine and will seek solace in some chocolate cake and a few good books. 

Thirsty Work

When you are a cat there is nothing finer than drinking stagnant water, as demonstrated by Gizmo.

Comfort and Joy

There is much sadness and tragedy reported in the World every day and it is all the more poignant at this time of year.  There is talk of the World ending at the Winter Solstice 2012 but for many people it must feel as though their World's have already ended with the loss of family, friends and loved ones.

I like to put a positive spin on the end of the Mayan calender and look upon it as a new beginning.  It is a time to reconnect to our true selves and experience a higher consciousness.  It is not the time to live in fear but to live up to challenges and face life head on.

The circle of life will go on for the foreseeable future.  I think that humanity will evolve and good will overcome evil.  We are living in dark times now but try to see the end of the Mayan calender as the end of the darkness and the beginning of the light!

Take comfort and joy from all that is good around you, soak up that feeling and hold onto it whenever you need to. x