Retreat to Lassen

Last weekend and a few days into this week was my annual celebration of "the last hurrah" before summer vacation is over. Two wonderful friends from church were able to go to Mt. Lassen with me. Along with the getaway being "the last hurrah", it was also a mini personal retreat.

(At the top of Mt. Lassen, 10, 457' up. Took 2 hours 20 minutes to get up and 1 hour and 10 minutes to get down. Hike was 5 miles round trip with 2,000' climb. Absolutely beautiful up there. In the top picture, we are standing in the middle of the volcano crater, wind blowing like crazy and a wee bit chilly.)

(I am going to kinda skip around here in this post with the pictures. And who knows if it will format correctly. There were pretty flowers on the ascent to the summit.)

The weekend prior to this trip, I was up at Mt. Lassen with my dad. I had some wonderful reading time and I read this little book called Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed by Carolyn Mahaney and her three daughters, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, and Janelle Bradshaw. Suzy too had read the book and said our weekend away could be our own personal retreat, which was one of five tips given in the book. The book lists 7 topics for you to list your priorities and prayerfully consider how you are doing with each one (thank you Suzy for typing them out for us). They are:

• Grow in godliness: How is my prayer life? Are my quiet times fruitful? What area is God calling me to grow in? What scriptures address this?
• Love my family: What relationship needs more attention? How can I show more love to this person?

(In this photo I am taking the photo in the middle of the crater of Mt. Lassen and can see off in the distance another volcano, Mt. Shasta)

• Serve in the church: Am I using my gifts effectively? Humbly? Am I too busy with good things? Am I too busy with worldly things to serve the body?
• Fellowship with Christians: Is there a relationship I should prioritize? Is there a relationship that is hindering me? What specific practical changes do I need to make so that I am investing in the right people for the right amount of time?

• Evangelize non-Christians: 'Each one reach one.' Who is one person I can develop a friendship with for the purpose of sharing the gospel?
• Attend to my work: Am I doing the right work? Is there a way to be more effective or efficient in the work God has called me to do?
• Care for my physical health: Am I giving too much or too little attention to this?

(I have never seen so much snow up in the park in August. Helen Lake was still snowed and iced over.)

In conclusion what one or two priorities do I want to focus on for the next three to six months? What steps will I take to grow in each area?

The time away was a good time for me to reflect on a few areas that I need to grow and improve in. The two areas that I want to focus on for the next 3-6 months are grow in godliness and evangelize non-Christians.

My quiet times have been stale and sometimes non existent. Part of making my quiet times with the Lord more fruitful and consistent includes
joining the 5am club and restructuring my time. I've been getting up at 5am pretty regularly (even during summer vacation) BUT I have been turning on the tv to watch the news. My first moments (turns into several minutes, even up to an hour) were not turning to the Lord. The routine now is to program the coffee the night before, get up feed the cats, shower, dress and then sit down with my Bible, journal, cup of coffee and ready to meet with God. What a nice and pleasant change this has been for my routine in the morning and for my time with Him.

Being a school teacher for the public school system, has frightened me away from sharing the gospel with students, co-workers and parents at work. I know all the red tape and all the possible consequences. I do talk of the Lord but I am not intentional with one or two people. I am specifically praying to develop a friendship with two gals that I hope will lead to gospel opportunities.

Looking forward to my next personal retreat.

Job Placement

Waiting on the Lord has great reward. I don't think in this lifetime I will truly understand the fullness and complexity of waiting on God's perfect timing for a perfect answer to my prayers. He is faithful to give me glimpses of the rewards in this life. Last week I found out my job placement for this upcoming school year. To my great surprise, I actually had a choice of 2 jobs. Option 1 was being at 3 separate schools each work week, 2 days, 2 days, 1 day. Option 2 was being at a single site, a site that is going through major overhaul to improve test scores. My choice- option 2! What an honor to be offered option 2, to be part of the rebuilding process, to Lord willing, assist a struggling school to become a successful school. God gave me a little reward for causing me to wait upon Him.

For me, waiting on the Lord is not so easy. Daily I need to go to Him, begging Him to help me wait on Him, to trust in the sovereign plan He has for my life. The duration of the wait this time on the Lord was short compared to other things I am waiting on the Lord for (20+ years). There is still much waiting on Him with this job, there are so many unknowns at this point. And then there is the science test.

Waiting and trusting. He is so good all the time.

Psalm 100

Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth. Serve the LORD with
gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing. Know that the LORD Himself is
God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the
sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving And His courts with
praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. For the LORD is good; His
lovingkindness is everlasting And His faithfulness to all
generations.

He Knows My Name and At the Cross

My heart often is greatly moved and encouraged by the words men and women put to music. Last Sunday was another example of God revealing how incredible and compassionate He is towards me, His beloved child, in whom He died for. The songs that I would like to comment on are: He Knows My Name by Tommy Walker and At the Cross by Darlene Zschech. Please forgive me if I have posted on either or both of these songs in the past (I know I posted on He Knows My Name during the pool project but I don't think I gave any real heart feedback). Here are the lyrics to both of the songs.

He Knows My Name, by Tommy Walker

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call


At the Cross, by Darlene Zschech

Oh Lord You
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me

Each of these songs affects me in different ways depending what is going on in my heart at the moment that I sing these songs and the contribution of certain musical instruments. Just look at words of these songs, so very amazing who God is to His beloved children. The personal pronouns and verbs are strong in this song. "I have, He formed, He knows, He sees, He hears and He calls". He is my Maker, He formed my heart, My life is in His hands, He knows my name, He knows my every thought, He sees each tear that falls, He hears me when I call, He is my Father and calls me His own and He will never leave me. What security to put my trust in Him.

He knows me so well, better than I know myself. He knows my every thought, not just some, not only the good and honoring thoughts but each and every one of them. He knows my joys and my struggles. He sees the tears that have fallen (or the tears that have not fallen outwardly but inwardly in my heart). He hears me when I call for help, guidance, escape, forgiveness and for renewed hope in the cross. What a promise that He will NEVER leave me, no matter where I or my heart go.

Oh and to know that He loves me. Not just that He loves me but to know that the God of the universe loves me, that I am precious to Him, He knew He was going to the cross to die for my sins, that He knows me. Again what a promise, even when life as we know it now is over, and God is standing before me in Heaven, I will know that He loves me.

Memorial Day

Memorial Day means so much to me and there are so many wonderful memories of past Memorial Days/weekends. Like many other Memorial Day weekends, I headed up to the "cabin" near Mt. Lassen. This is what Memorial Day means to me:

• the hills of Northern California are golden
• the fields along I-5 are full of crops: corn, tomatoes, sugar beets, sunflowers, rice, wheat, alfalfa, hay, peppers, almond and walnut trees, and squash
• being with my dear family
• enjoying the fresh mountain air
• getting away from the heat of the Bay Area, the congestion, the noise
• the end of the school year is just a few weeks away
• feeding the deer, chip monks, grey squirrels, and various types of birds
• cherries at the fruit stands
• playing cards
• watching movies
• and a grateful heart for the men and women who have fought for our liberty

Here are a few photos from my time away.

There is a song from the Come Weary Saints CD by Sovereign Grace Music that flows through my mind often. This song is titled As Long As You Are Glorified by Mark Altrogge. Tonight I was reminded of this song as we discussed gratitude in the singles Bible study I attend where we are studying Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper. Human nature is predisposed of complaining and grumbling of our circumstances and not rejoicing and thanking God for every good and bad thing that comes into our life. All things are used for His glory in our lives.

Here are the lyrics of the song and you can listen here (thank you to who has their play list on line, thanks brother).

Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings
Yet not welcome any pain
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine
Yet grumble in days of rain
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow, then doubt

Oh let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide
Oh I long for nothing else as long
As You are glorified

Are You good only when I prosper
And true only when I’m filled
Are You King only when I’m carefree
And God only when I’m well
You are good when I’m poor and needy
You are true when I’m parched and dry
You still reign in the deepest valley
You’re still God in the darkest night

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

Remembering a Wonderful Student

Today, I returned to work from having the last week off for Easter Break (or as they call it in the public school system, Spring Break) and got some sad news before the first bell rang. The special education teacher who I work closely with called and told me that one of our students had passed away over break. Over the 15 years of my teaching career, there have been at least 3 of my former students who have passed away at a young age. All of these died after they moved on to the next level. Today's death was different. B (I will call him B here, this is the first letter of his name but I would like to protect the privacy of his family) was in my PE class for the last 3 years. He was in my PE class where I take all of the severally multi-handicapped students and incorporate them into what I call a "reverse mainstreaming" PE class.

Let me share some things about B. B was born with a condition called spina bifida. He was paralysed from the waist down and got around in a wheelchair. Due to his condition he had a shunt placed in his brain to drain the fluid from his brain. Last week, he went in for surgery to replace his shunt and something occurred during surgery. There was too much build up of fluid in his brain when they removed his shunt, his brain went into shock and basically died.

B always had a smile on his face, he was always glad to see you. He would wheel up to me when he saw me on campus, give me the biggest hello with a smile, greet me by name and ask, "what are we doing today Miss ______?" He lit up the place where ever he went. Even the men PE teachers said he was the brightest shining light in the boys locker room. They told me today that a piece of their joy of teaching died with B passing away. They said they would always love to go into the locker room to supervise the specific period that B had PE. Even though B could not change fully into PE clothes, he faithfully put on his PE sweatshirt to be just like all of the other students (and I think he did not want to disappoint me by not changing, he knew the standard for all of the other students).

From the minute B came to my school as a 6th grader, he was eager to try everything and anything that the rest of my students were learning. There was no holding him back. As I mentioned, he got around in a wheelchair. It was a nice chair but it was not the best chair for him. He needed a light weight sport chair. It would have helped him out greatly. I think the sports chair went against his culture. B was so eager to try all things, I think my PE class opened the world up to him. It was my goal to engage him fully in my PE class so that he would have a wonderful well rounded PE experience. This is the same goal I have for all of my students but I treated him as no different with that goal.

Due to his chair, B could not really hold equipment and push his chair (due to the chair not being in a sports chair and his paralysis was just slightly below his rib cage). Students would take turns pushing him so he could play. Students were always eager to help him out. B after being helped would always tell the student thanks for helping him and giving a big high five. Allowing the students to help push was always great when we were in the gym or on the blacktop but when my rotation would be to the track or a field, I knew the students could not push him, besides, it could be dangerous and have been tipped over. Over time B got better at pushing his chair and playing. He knew that I or an aid would help him but he also knew that was not the case every time.

All the students have to run at school. Run for cardiovascular health and to also prepare for the state mandated fitness tests. B and I used the measuring wheel to measure how many laps around the blacktop he would need to do to push his mile. While the students ran on the track he "ran" on the blacktop. Each time we ran, I chose a few students who would run with him on the blacktop to encourage him to keep trying his best as they ran by him. Most of the time when I watched on, it was B who was encouraging on the other students always offering his thanks when he was done and giving a big high five.

This year knowing that B was headed onto the high school I wanted him to try pushing on the track with all of the rest of the students. He was all over the challenge. The first time he tried it, he only could finish half of a mile. He wanted to know what his time was, which I could not give him because he did not finish the whole thing. Each week he was determined to finish the whole run up on the track just like everyone else. He finally made his goal and I tell you, his time was faster than some other students who just don't try.

Just before Easter Break, my group of students were fitness testing. Most of what the state asked us to do, B could not do because of his chair. He had to sit off with those who had finished testing and have not much activity. He would shrug his shoulders and say, "it's OK". There was nothing else that could have been done because the testing has to be done by the teacher on each student. Finally, we had a break and another teacher and I decided to play the game "Rocks", which is a type of Capture the Flag game. B wanted to get right in the action and play. I have taught all the students who play in a game with my disabled students that there are rule modifications that are used to help the disabled students play in the game. I strapped B good into his chair, made sure his flip bars were down and reminded him of how to turn his body in the unlikely event that we might topple over (I prayed every time I pushed him around out on a field that we would not tip over). I asked him if he wanted to play offense or defense, always hoping that he would say defense because it would have been a little easier for me. He always chose offense. Off we ran trying to get into the free zone, steel a rock, free up those on our team that had been captured and run like mad. He so fully trusted me pushing him yet, still clung on for dear life. He always encouraged me along the way and he was good to rest when I thought my legs were going to fall off of me. When we were done, I would loosen his waist belt and he would push himself back to the locker room, the whole time talking about the game.

B was so simple minded with his retardation and he had a heart of gold. I have wrestled in my heart today about B and eternity. B's family is Muslim. I know what God's word says about salvation and the life after death. I have never fully studied about issues concerning a baby or small child dying. I have heard pastors speak on the topic and they share that there is a special grace with God and small children. I too believe this. So, my heart ponders what about a person like B, he was in the low mentally retarded class, he had not much in the area of long time memory and God created him the way he was. I trust firmly in God's sovereign plan and completely agree that God is just to do what His plan is. God may have had a special mercy and grace for B. B might be running for the first time on streets of gold.

Good Friday

Christ went to the cross to die my death and guilt. My sins were the nails driven into His palms and His feet. It was my the very nature of my sinful heart that put Him on the cross, the cross that He did not deserve. Oh He suffered horribly, bled, died and took the full wrath of God's judgement upon Himself freely for me.

I am sobered to reality each year with Good Friday and Easter (Lord willing, another post for Easter and the promise that Christ fulled by His resurrection). How can a true believer not be affected at this time of year of the sacrifice that took our guilty place by the Lamb of God? If Christ did not die to pay the penalty of my guiltiness, I would be lost, without hope and headed for God's required judgement and separated from Him eternally. I am forever grateful for my Savior.

Here is a song that I came across this past year. The words move my heart and soul almost every time I hear it. You can listen to a sample of the song here.

The Look
Music and additional lyrics by Bob Kauflin. Lyrics by John Newton. As recorded on Songs for the Cross Centered Life.

I saw one hanging on a tree In agony and blood Who fixed His loving eyes on me As near His cross I stood And never till my dying breath Will I forget that look It seemed to charge me with His death Though not a word He spoke

My conscience felt and owned the guilt And plunged me in despair I saw my sins His blood had spilt And helped to nail Him there But with a second look He said “I freely all forgive This blood is for your ransom paid I died that you might live”

Forever etched upon my mind Is the look of Him who died The Lamb I crucified And now my life will sing the praise Of pure atoning grace That looked on me and gladly took my place

Thus while His death my sin displays For all the world to view Such is the mystery of grace It seals my pardon too With pleasing grief and mournful joy My spirit now is filled That I should such a life destroy Yet live by Him I killed

© 2001 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

Here is one more song. I posted this one a very long time ago so I felt it only appropriate to post it again here.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us, Stuart Townend, 1995 Kingsway's ThankyouMusic

How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure! That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure! How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns His face away As wounds which mar the Chosen One bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon a cross, my sin upon His shoulders; Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers. It was my sin that held Him there until it was accomplished; His dying breath has brought me life- I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom; But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection. Why should I gain from His reward: I cannot give an answer, But this I know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom.

Picture taken from Google Images.

If you don't know Jesus as your personal Savior, I would like to direct you to a presentation by Mattias Media called Two Ways To Live. Christ truly was the Lamb of God.

God- the Master Artist

The last several days have been so incredible and today especially so. I spent most of the day cloud gazing at work and driving in the car home from work. I am such a cloud lover. When I look at the depth, the complexity, the shape, the differing shades and types, and height of cloud I am almost left breathless. The heavens will be so much more amazing then the clouds. When I see clouds like these (by the way, I was unable to take pictures at work of the clouds but these were taken out through my windshield of my car on the way home from work), I am reminded that God put the clouds in the sky, that He formed them, He allows them to expand and cover the horizon as far as the eye can see. Clouds remind me of God's abundant faithfulness and love He has for me. Clouds like these almost take my breath away and I stand in awe of my Creator.

The top picture was God revealing the dawning of Spring with new life . God again shows His faithfulness. Winter lasts for a season and then He brings about Spring.

New Year's Helps

I came across a few items from the blogs of Tim Challies and John Piper (can click on each name or look at my side bar if you want to see the original posts) that I thought I would pass along to you.

Tim Challies posts from Justin Taylor's blog on helpful Bible reading plans for a year. I am going to try to use The Discipleship Journal Bible Reading Plan. This will assist me if I start to get behind, as I often do with Bible readings and get frustrated and give up, this plan gives 5-6 "catch up days". John Piper also posted on fasting and praying through scripture.

This morning I read from Psalms 90 and 91 (have not started the Bible reading plan yet, read before I checked on my favorite blogs). Psalm 90:12 struck out to me and I prayed and pondered through this verse. The verse says,

"So teach us to number our days, that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom".

This Psalm is a prayer written by Moses to God and the verses prior speak of God's anger and His fury on how His children don't live in light of Him. This verse starts out with the tiny little word SO, which means, with all that has just been said be very mindful of this. . . We are to number each of our days, to value each of them, make each of them count, make the most of each day.

Moses continues with his So. . . That. The key here is THAT we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom. We may only present to Him a heart of wisdom if we make the most of our days. One way we gain wisdom is by living our lives to the fullest to His glory.

For 2009, I want to number my days that I might be able to give back to Him a heart of wisdom.

Happy New Year to all of you. When I look back a year from now, my prayer is that I lived out some of what is on my heart now and I will only be able to do that by personal discipline and God's abundant grace.

Couple of Worship Songs

On Sunday along with hearing an incredible message that focused on having a proper views of God for 2009 (two main points: God is Transcendent and God is Immanent) we sang two songs that we have not song for awhile and I wanted to share the lyrics with you.

Blessed Be Your Name, 2002 Worship Together Music, By Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow, blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness, blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be, blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away, You give and take away
My heart will choose to say, "Lord, blessed be Your name."

How true it is that we are to bless God when things are all going well (in our eyes) and when things are not going well (in our eyes again, God always has the very best for us even in suffering and pain). My prayer right this moment and I hope forever, echos the end of the song, "You give and take away, You give and take away. My heart will choose to say 'Lord, blessed be Your name.'" It is a choice to bless the Lord but it is always the best choice.

Here I Am To Worship 2000 Thankyou Music, Tim Hughes

Light of the World, You stepped down into darkness,
opened my eyes, let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore You,
hope of a life spent with You.

So, here I am to worship, here I am to bow down,
here I am to say that You’re my God.
You’re altogether lovely, altogether worthy,
altogether wonderful to me.

King of all days, oh so highly exalted,
glorious in heaven above.
Humbly You came to the Earth You created,
all for love’s sake became poor.

And I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.


What a wonder of what God has done for me. He opened my eyes and let me see. Oh He is altogether lovely, altogether worthy, and altogether wonderful to me! I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross. May my heart cry out Here I am to Worship!

Just A Few Blocks Away

Hello blogging friends!

I am so thankful that I am on break from work for the Christmas Holiday. So nice to sleep in until my body is ready to get up (this morning it was just before 8 am) and not at 5am. One of my kitties tilted one of my wooden blinds and the sun was streaking on in. Through the slots in the blinds I could see that the sky was beautiful. A perfect mix of clouds and blue, my favorite type of day! The glistening frost on the neighbor's roof was almost melted away.

A Perfect morning for a walk in the park that is just 2 blocks away from my house. "Heart Park" is what I fondly call this park. God has used this park (more specifically the splendor of His incredible beautiful creation) significantly in my heart. When I am among the majestic California Oaks, the reflective 7 small ponds, the changing of the colors of the seasons, the green carpet of the ground celebrating a recent rain and the fresh crisp air, I am ushered into a time of prayer with my God, my Savior. This morning was no exception. My heart was pondering and thanking God for His perfect timely gift of the incarnation. God in human flesh, Christ the Savior, was born to a virgin, born to ultimately die to pay the penalty, to take the full wrath of God for sin, for my sin, for my guilt. Pretty amazing.

I am reminded of Luke 1:26- 35

"Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city in Galilee, called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the descendants of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And coming in, he sadi to her, 'Hail favored one! The Lord is with you.' But she was greatly troubled at this statement, and kept pondering what kind of salutation this might be. And the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary; for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb, and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David; and He will reign over the house of Jaco forever; and His kingdom will have no end.' And Mary said to the angel, 'How can this be, since I am a virgin:' And the angel answered and said to her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy offspring shall be called the Son of God."

And Luke 2: 9-14

"And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which shall be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you; you will find a baby wrapped in cloths, and lying in a manger.' And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.'"

My heart was full of praise and adoration this morning. This praise and adoration lead to praying for some other concerns of my heart. What a joy to be a child of the Most High. Here are a few pictures of my time this morning. If you have followed my blog, I have posted pictures in here before from "Heart Park".

Have a wonderful day!

So, I can't get the pictures to move where I want them and they are out of order so let me explain them.
Picture 1 is just of some cat tails.
Picture 2 was just a burst of the last bit of red color before they fall off. All the other trees have dropped their leaves.
Picture 3 & 4 are almost the same photo but slightly different. I am trying to decide which one I like better to maybe get it printed out and hang it up. Please feel free to give your input.
Picture 5 was when I first started into the park this morning.
Picture 6 is one of those often not seen things in weather called a "Sun Dog".
The last picture, picture 7, I took because I loved the green carpet, the younger oak trees and the little path winding between the trees.

Sorry in advance if this post does not appear correctly when I am finished.

Thanks for your patience

As you know, postings have not happened here for awhile and were scarse a few months before my last post. Thank you for hanging in there with me. My sister and Steve S. have told me that they want something different than Pinky's Pizza.

God has been doing a good work in my heart and life over the last 4 months. He has been refining my faith, testing areas in my life that need improvement, pushing me to trust Him more with each passing day and faithfully loving me along the way. The desire to post has been there but honestly, my heart was divided with all the emotions that have been going on inside of me. Most of these emotions have needed to be between my sovereign God and myself. Let me assure you that you don't need to be concerned for me but praise the LORD for making this child more into the image of Christ my Savior. I am reminded of James 1:2-4 and Romans 5:1-5

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance
have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in
nothing.

Therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through
our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by
faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of
God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that
tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance proven character; and
proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God
has been pured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to
us.

My prayer is that would continue to refine me and that I would be able to say that I consider my trials as pure joy, that I would exult in them, that I would have peace with God and that I would have great hope that does not disappoint.

1 Year in the Blogging World

Yesterday marks the anniversary of when I officially joined the blogging world. Wow. I know my blog is not the most exciting nor is it going to change your view on life. My blog is random and is basically an attempt to keep people posted on what is going on in Shelly's world. My brain thinks of ideas of what I would like to blog about constantly and I keep a little list by the computer. Most of those ideas never make it to the computer mainly because of time and energy. I actually think that I better at spelling and write more grammatically correct now that I have been writing on the blog. I praise the Lord that through the blog I have been re-united with some friends from long ago. What a blessing that has been. Through the connections I have made, I have had the privilege to pray for others and the trials that they are experiencing. Many emotions have filled my heart through my friend's blogs, I have laughed, cried, pondered circumstances in a new light, have been greatly encouraged and have been challenged in my faith.

Thank you for your time and energy if you stop by and read my blog. We will see what God does in this next year of life in the blogging world.

In Memory of Julie, My Cousin

I can't believe it is just shy of 6 months that my sweet cousin passed away. Tomorrow would have been Julie's 39th birthday. My cousin Lorie spoke at her sister's memorial service and said with great strength and help from God, " Julie's birthday is on June 9th. My dream and goal would be to get some people together at the ______ Reservoir, do a memory walk in honor of my sister, my hero, put $5 in a bucket and continue to increase this tradition every year on her birthday. Julie would have wanted us to raise attention to ovarian cancer and to help in anyway we could to raise money to help find a cure".

This morning over 125 people showed up at a park to walk in honor of Julie. What a joy to see so many people who were out to support Julie, my extended family and friends for the cause of fighting ovarian cancer. The walk was not long but seeing all of us wearing the shirts we received and the color teal (teal is the official color representing fighting ovarian cancer) was a sight to see. I walked with my sister Amy, my brother in law Eric and my Aunt Jean. It was nice to see my family and those that were close to Julie. My mom, dad and my grandma were there too. I always love being around my family.




Here is my Uncle Jack, my Aunt Jean and my Dad. Jack and my dad are brothers.
















Here is Amy and Eric.
















Here is my Aunt Jean, Julie's mom and Chad's mom.












Ovarian cancer is known as the silent killer because women do not take some of the early warning signals seriously. Usually, women do not realize they have ovarian cancer until the cancer is in the later stages. The National Ovarian Cancer Coalition has published some warning signs and information about ovarian cancer. Ladies, please go and see a doctor quickly if these warning signs point to symptoms that you might be experiencing.


How is Ovarian Cancer Diagnosed?
Unfortunately, most women with ovarian cancer are diagnosed with advanced-stage disease (Stage III). This is because the symptoms of ovarian cancer (particularly in the early stages) often are not acute or intense, and present vaguely. In most cases, ovarian cancer is not detected during routine pelvic exams, unless the doctor notes that the ovary is enlarged. The sooner ovarian cancer is found and treated, the better a woman’s chance for recovery. It is important to know that early stage symptoms are not silent – so women should be extra alert and watch out for early symptoms.

Potential symptoms of ovarian cancer include:
• Pelvic or abdominal pain or discomfort
• Vague but persistent gastrointestinal upsets such as gas, nausea and indigestion
• Frequency and/or urgency of urination in the absence of an infection
• Unexplained changes in bowel habits
• Unexplained weight gain or weight loss
• Pelvic and/or abdominal swelling, bloating and/or feeling of fullness
• Ongoing unusual fatigue

Did You Know?
The Pap test does not detect ovarian cancer. It determines cancer of the cervix.
Screening Tests

Although there is no consistently-reliable screening test to detect ovarian cancer, the following tests are available and should be offered to women, especially those at high risk for ovarian cancer.

• Pelvic Exam: Women age 18 and above should have a mandatory annual vaginal exam. Women age 35 and above should receive an annual rectovaginal exam (physician inserts fingers in the rectum and vagina simultaneously to feel for abnormal swelling and to detect tenderness).

• Transvaginal Sonography: This ultrasound, performed with a small instrument placed in the vagina, is appropriate especially for women at high risk for ovarian cancer or for those with an abnormal pelvic exam.

• CA-125 Test: This blood test determines if the level of CA-125, a protein produced by ovarian cancer cells, has increased in the blood of a woman at high risk for ovarian cancer or with an abnormal pelvic examination.While CA-125 is an important test, it unfortunately is not always accurate. Some non-cancerous diseases of the ovaries also increase the CA-125 levels, and some ovarian cancers may not produce enough CA-125 levels to cause a positive test.

While CA-125 is an important test, it unfortunately is not always accurate. Some non-cancerous diseases of the ovaries also increase the CA-125 levels, and some ovarian cancers may not produce enough CA-125 levels to cause a positive test.

Positive Tests
If any of these tests are positive, a woman should consult with a gynecologic oncologist who may conduct a CT scan and X-Rays and study the results. However, the only way to more accurately confirm ovarian cancer is with a biopsy, a procedure in which the doctor takes a sample of the tumor and examines it under a microscope.

Research into new ovarian cancer screening tests is ongoing and new diagnostic tests may be on the horizon. NOCC monitors the latest scientific developments, so visit www.ovarian.org for updates.

God Has Given Us Eternal Life

Today I got a taste of heaven and I long for more. Tony continued in his series from 1 John (today's sermon on 1 John 5:5-12), Will The Real Christian Please Stand Up, The Letters of John. My heart was greatly encouraged by this message. I would like to take the opportunity to comment on a few of the verses and a few facts about heaven. The verses are from 1 John 5:10-12 from the ESV.

10Whoever believes in the Son of God has the testimony in himself. Whoever does
not believe God has made him a liar, because he has not believed in the
testimony that God has borne concerning his Son. 11And this is the testimony,
that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12 Whoever has the
Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.

God's testimony concerning Christ is two fold, to those who do not believe and those who do believe. To those who do not believe- verse10 states when one denies what the gospel and God says of Christ then he is a liar. Belief in anything other than what God has said attacks the character of God. Verse 12 says that if he have the Son then he does not have the life.

To those that believe, those who are resting upon Him, who believe unto Him, who trust Christ in all areas of life, we have been given eternal life. The testimony is internalized meaning we are continuously believing. Eternity with God has began now in this life but will be consummated later in time.

A few things that we pondered this morning were a life endless in duration, a life endless in quality, a life with God, a life of activity and responsibility and a life without evil or sin. Eternity will be forever, endless into the future. This is hard for me to comprehend because everything in this life has an ending point. I can not even begin to fathom what forever will be like. As believers living on through eternity, the quality of eternity will deepen. In heaven we will be with God. God is endless and our satisfaction will never end with Him. We will continually be filling up on His endless knowledge. In heaven there will be new activity and responsibility too. There will be new heavens and earth. We will be made like Him. There will be no more curse upon the earth. We will reign with Him. There will be no more sin, no more suffering, no pain, no mourning and there will be no more want.

Here are the words to a few songs we sang this morning. Both of these put in place living here until I one day am together with the Lord in heaven.

You Are My All in All, by Dennis Jernigan 1990 Shepherd's Heart Music

You are my strength when I am weak,
You are the treasure that I seek, You are my All in All.
Seeking You as a precious jewel,
Lord to give up I'd be a fool, You are my all in all.

Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is Your name

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame,
Rising again I bless Your Name, You are my All in All.
When I fall down, You pick me up;
When I am dry, You fill my cup, You are my All in All!

Knowing You by Graham Kendrick 1993 Make Way Music

All I once held dear, built my life upon,
All this world reveres, and wars to own.
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
Spent and worthless now, compared to this:

Knowing You, Jesus, Knowing You,
there is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're my rest,
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love You, Lord.

Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
To be found in You and known as Yours.
To possess by faith what I could not earn,
All-surpassing gift of righteousness.

Oh, to know the power of Your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings;
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
So with You to live and never die.

It Is Well With My Soul

It Is Well With My Soul, by Horatio G. Spafford, Philip P. Bliss, 1997 Word Music

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

My sin, O, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Truly it is well with my soul. This is one of my most beloved songs. Almost every time I sing this song, my heart whelms with emotion and my eyes moisten with tears. This morning at church we sang this wonderful song. Life has many difficulties, trials, joys and sorrows but for those of us who truly and personally know the LORD, it will always be well with our souls. Jesus has bought our life with His own blood and we are headed for an eternity with Him.

I look at the lyrics of this song and put any situation going on in my life, no matter how good or how bad, and I can echo with the author, "Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, 'It is well, it is well with my soul'". "Let this blest assurance control, That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul". Oh praise the LORD, praise the Lord, that "My sin not in part, but the whole, Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more".

Many of you know that I love singing songs like this one that speak of my Savior, that speak of my God, that tell of the blessed hope that I have awaiting one day in heaven. A few less of you know that I don't have songs picked out for my possible future wedding day but I do have songs planned out for my certain departure from this earth (unless the Lord returns first). The funeral song list has varied from time to time but It Is Well With my Soul always has been one of my top choices. I long for the day when the faith that God has given me shall be sight. O, eternity of being well with my soul. Today, again, I remind myself, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.

Easter is My Favorite Holiday

Happy Easter! Easter is my favorite holiday. Christ went to the cross to pay the penalty of my sin! A bloody, extremely painful death, taking on the full wrath of God, He took the death that I deserved to die. There was nothing in this world that I could have done to merit God's gracious pardoning of my sin, except for the blood that Christ shed on my behalf. I am humbled when I think of it. Because Christ bought me with His blood, I have forgiveness and a perfect standing before God. My soul is His. I need to think of what Christ has done on my behalf much more than I do. Christ and His sacrifice should be central to EVERYTHING in my life. Oh, I am so thankful for His abundant mercy and love that He has freely (but it cost Him everything) given to me.

I hope you know Christ the way I know Him. If you don't or you want to know more, click here.

Here is one of my favorite songs (not sure if at the moment if I have included it in a past post).

Amazing Love, by Graham Kendrick, 1989 Make Way Music

My Lord, what love is this
That pays so dearly
That I, the guilty one
May go free!

Amazing love, O what sacrifice
The Son of God given for me
My debt he pays,
and my death he dies
That I might live,
That I might live!

And so they watched him die
Despised, rejected
But oh, the blood he shed
Flowed for me!
And now, this love of Christ
Shall flow like rivers
Come wash your guilt away live again!

Philippians 2:5-11 from the New American Standard Bible

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who,
although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing
to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and
being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He
humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a
cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him
the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE
WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and
that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God
the Father.

Real Christian Love

Along with being home ill today and not at work, I missed church on Sunday. Thankfully, from my church's web site, I can listen to sermons, including the last Lord's Day. So today I listened to the sermon from Sunday that is part of a ongoing series from 1 John titled Will the Real Christian Please Stand Up, the Letters of John. Click here if you would like to listen and choose message 15.

What an encouraging and convicting part of scripture on true Christian love from 1 John 3:10-18.



1 John 3:10-18 (New American Standard Bible)

10By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious:
anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does
not love his brother. 11For this is the message which you have heard from the
beginning, that we should love one another; 12not as Cain, who was of the evil
one and slew his brother And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds
were evil, and his brother's were righteous.
13Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you. 14We know that we
have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does
not love abides in death. 15Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and
you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. 16We know love by
this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for
the brethren.
17But whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in
need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? 18Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.

Here are some of the thoughts that stuck me. The whole book of 1 John is being addressed to Christians, one who has been born of God, one who has a pattern of practicing righteousness. Practicing righteousness includes showing love to his brother. A true believer can not be practicing righteousness if he is not loving his brother or one another. As Christians we love because Christ first loved us. He has changed us, He has set a pattern of how we should love, He is our Supreme example of true love. When we as believers show love to a brother or to the brethen, our love is two fold: it is an example of true love of Christ to the dying world around us and to the believers among us.



The love we show is a proof of our faith, of what Christ has done in our hearts. Verse 11 tells the reader that the message from the very beginning has been love for a brother and that "we should love one another". The "should"in that verse would better be stated as "ought". We ought to love one another. Believers are to love one another, it is what we should do, it is part of our job requirement. Sadly, there will be failure in this area because we are humans and still have sin in our lives. My Hebrew Greek study Bible tells me that the verb "should" is a PSA- present subjunctive active. The present subjunctive mood refers to continuous or repeated action, without implying anything about the time of the action, and the active voice represents the action as accomplished by the subject of the verb. In Greek it is to be distinguished from the middle and passive voices.



John continues his grain of thought by giving a contrast of the righteous and the unrighteous in verse 12. A blood brother should or "ought" to most of all love his natural blood brother but here we see that Cain slew his brother. Slew here is just not a slashing of one's throat but a butchering, a brutal act. Cain killed because his deeds were evil and his brother's were righteous. We need to not be surprised if the world around us hates us because of our righteous deeds. As John continues in the text, we were once like Cain but we have been changed. A proof of this transformation is that we have love for the brethen.



Now where the meat attaches to the bone is in our application of loving a brother. Who am I to care for, to what end? Verse 17 has the two qualifing factors, a brother (and) who is in need, we are to help him in whatever way we can. Not in word or with tongue but in deed and in truth. True love will cost us, it will take it's toll, it will not be convenient. True love is practical, meeting the needs that you personally see, not to walk away and pretend you did not see the need. True love and care for a person who is in need will take energy and energy that you sometimes don't have. Loving your brother will put a demand on us. "Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous, love does not brag, and it is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails;" (1 Cor 13:4-8a)

The Sun Shines

Oh what a glorious sight, the sun is shining. It seems like days since the sun has been bright and warm in the morning. The past week, it has either been raining or "tulley foggy". I do remember going back to work on Monday and photographing the beautiful sunrise. Several days before the beautiful sunrise was only rain, rain, rain. It's funny, I love the rain but on days like today, I love the sunshine. My whole being is uplifted, stimulated, and energized. I put on one of my favorite short sleeve t-shirts to celebrate the return of the rays. The weather report shows beautiful weather for this whole week, most likely I will be longing for the rain clouds again.

My Cousin Julie

It has been a few weeks since I last posted. The desire to post has been there but I have lacked the strength to do so. Two days after my last post, my dear cousin Julie passed away. What a whirlwind of happenings since that day. There was finishing up with my last week of school, all the happenings for Christmas and my mom's birthday and the services for my cousin.

Julie is one of my hero's. What a testimony of strength, dignity, long suffering, hope and even joy despite her brutal battle with ovarian cancer. Julie was an amazing woman. Every time I had the opportunity for a visit, attend a family party or chance meeting (we ran into each other at Costco, DVC, a grocery store and at a sporting goods store), I always walked away with a smile on my face from my time with her.

Julie was young, 38 years young. She leaves behind a wonderful husband and a 6 year old son. Some of the pain that I felt in my heart was thinking about her son. My heart continually goes back to my source of truth and strength, the God of the universe. God is sovereign and He knows the pain and struggle of this family. A friend recently gave me a few lines from a hymn, "O Father You are Sovereign". It goes, "O Father you are sovereign, the Lord of human pain, transmuting earthly sorrows to gold of heavenly gain; all evil overruling, as none but Conqueror could, Your love pursues its purpose, our soul's eternal good." Through the tears and the pain, God has a good plan for those whose lives are anchored in Him. My cousin did have faith in God, she took this trial in stride, rejoiced with each and every day that she had. I do believe that my cousin is surrounded by His glory, face to face with her Savior, and is rejoicing around the Throne.

If you received my Christmas letter, I have already mentioned a few things that my cousin would encourage you to do and I too want to encourage you. These include: be faithful to your regular check-ups (all of them, the easy routine ones and the one's that are uncomfortable and embarrassing), be your best advocate, if something does not appear to be normal- keep up with the doctors, have your will in order and if you have children designate who will be the care takers in case something happens to you and your spouse. There are other things you can do to help others who may have a need, give blood or be an organ donor.

I want to stress the point about getting your regular check-ups and taking every possible outcome seriously, using my cousin as an example. About 4 years ago, my cousin went in for a routine check-up that included the routine woman's exam. The doctor discovered a smaller "cyst or tumor" in one of her ovaries. The doctor deemed it as nothing serious and would re-examine the tumor in 6 months. Well, my cousin did not make it to the 6 month check up. 2 weeks before her next exam, she was in exteme pain, could not hold food down and felt a larger lump in her abdominal area. She went to the doctor and he said she needs to go into surgery within a few days. The doctors and the family still did not think this was anything serious. In surgery, the doctors discovered that Julie had a softball/grapefruit sized tumor in her ovary and that cancer was all over her abdominal area and several organs had cancer on them. This was the start of her courageous battle with cancer for the next 3 1/2 years.

I know that this was the plan that God had for Julie and there would have no been changing it for her but maybe God might use her story to have another at the first sign of a tumor to be treated immediately and to have victory over cancer.