.Friday, February 29, 2008 ' 4:58 PM Y
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ARRGH.
STUPID NOOB.
oKAY. so mr fu is the worsdt counselor in the world. he can shove the whole everyone has his own perception up his ass. and 'some things you just cant control.'
for pete's sake, you know who the gangsters are, where they are, what they do it, when they do it, you have freakin' CCTV CAMERAS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, AND SOMEHOW, IM STILL THE ONE GETTING INTO TROUBLE FOR DEFENDING PEOPLE TOO SCARED TO DEFEND THEMSELVES.
but ms ang is so sweet. =) she forgave me. it wasn't exactly mushy, but im overwhelmingly happy.
to add on to it, i managed to make adrienne miss her bus THREE times while she was at the bus stop. That's right people, THREE!! (multiple echoes of truimph)
although what i TOLD her yesterday to keep her occupied..well. what are the chances she kept it to herself?
the cute bowling girl rong ting showed up today, and I was totally tongue tied. we're supposed to be friends, true, but she's gotten even prettier since the last time I saw her. It was so bad that I almost said one of Black Mage's corny pick up lines. Been reading WAYY too much nuklear power, such that I can't update my novels on time.
oh, and bowling was amazing. (apart from the first ball when I was so nervous that i hit my leg with the bowling ball) the tryouts were nerve wrecking, but I topped the first game with a brilliant six strikes in a row and two spares after that, leading to my highest score ever, which is 208. i really should not have messed up the seventh frame, otherwise i might have hit 220. oh well.
second round was a blast. i came in lowest, with a grand total of 115. below my average of 120.
third round I made a comeback with a mixture of spares and double strikes, bringing my third game to 176. in other words, for me, I was owning. God really blessed me today. as in I literally prayed and he answered. quite grateful.
499 in three games brings today's average to ..166! OMFG.
well im still not in yet. second round of tryouts next week.
sigh. well i beat alvin and syukri today, but honestly, now im not sure if I really want to.
feel like a traitor...they're the ones that helped me get in the cca in the first place.
God, what do you want me to do...?
ShadowFighterX
.Thursday, February 28, 2008 ' 4:02 PM Y
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Mood: mm...
well I really got into it this time.
went to school, mum gave my FORM TEACHER a lecture, i got really pissed, couldn't identfy bullies, got pissed off at my mum, got pissed off at my form teacher, got pissed off at the whole school...
but I guess today I realized how much my mum loves me. it's hard to deal with that kind of affection but its her way of voicing out concern and affection. whether it's embarassing or not, i know im loved, so..
well. dunno. that came out a little mushy, but I have to remember.
I yelled at Angeline Ang. The incredibly beautiful on and off object of my affection, and I YELLED at her. I had no idea I would ever be capable of doing something as crazy and STUPID as that.
sigh. let's face it. I just snapped. I was so teed off at Ms Ang, for not taking me seriously. my mum, for embarassing me by going to the school. the staff there, who constantly fail at keeping the gangsters at bay. the victims, for not standing up for themselves. at me, for standing up for these people too scared to stand up for themselves and getting myself into all this trouble in the first place. keep wondering to myself-is this the right thing to do?
So I yelled at her, and I tell you, I broke down and all, but I felt GREAT. I just hated her for not hating me. I really despised myself because she didn't hate me...she didn't even care about my feelings for her or my feelings on stuff that wasn't even her! so yeah.
of course, the guilt became so, so overwhelming after my heart-to-heart talk with mdm Neo. its' nice to talk to a civilised person in a grown up fashion once in a while. Initially, I wanted to yell at her too, but I failed. Learnt something from her, at least.
The truth is that no system is perfect. Mr John Lim, the DM I really dislike (the only one i dislike more than him is mr lau, and mr tan say pin, because the former accused me, the victim, of bullying, and the latter was stupid enough to not prevent fights going on in front of him...and i didn't do anything either...) actually managed to settle it with those guys. Among them was the guy I kicked his soccer ball into the air when it hit me in the face. feel guilty because he thought I was kicking it at him, hence he wanted to fight cuz he thought i was being violent towards him, not cuz i rammed the ball. here i thought he had an attitude problem.
is that why they purposely dropped the bottle on the court to start trouble? I'll never know. I guess that part was probably entirely their fault, since they were unreasonable, threatening, bullying and violent and not even to me but to the people around me. hell, they wouldn't even have tried anything against me if I hadn't spoken up. does that make me a hero or a moron? huh. more like a bit of both.
some of the teachers like ms peh and ms huang were nice enough to care but....i just...
can't stop thinking about ms ang.
haiz.
im so sorry.
.Monday, February 25, 2008 ' 6:28 PM Y
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Mood: Ugh.
okay to cut a long story short, the sec 4 gang was bullying my friends and thus I stuck up for them, and now they are after ME. yes, yours truly has decided to add unnecessary drama into his life, AGAIN.
what the hell is WRONG with these people?! It's one thing to be unreasonable (I really, REALLY don't need to give examples such as the one constantly blasphemy-ing me on my tag board) but it's another thing to hurt people! At least Adrienne doesnt hurt people! (physically!)
Oops, did I type that out already? Oh well.
Yeah I ask for a lot of trouble. I'm just kidding adrienne. I have better things to worry about.
Like how I'm NOT going to get my ass handed to me tomorrow.
Well. I'm Luke Ho. I'll think of something. I always do.
It's just that everytime, I have to do it alone...
ShadowFighterX
.Sunday, February 24, 2008 ' 10:15 PM Y
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Okay I decided no more name calling on my blog.
I'm a Christian, and I will not disgrace God or myself anymore.
sigh.
.Saturday, February 23, 2008 ' 8:36 AM Y
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tired.
yesterday fell asleep at 8 something..was so drained. missed out on going out. sigh..
can't continue like this..this schedule is even worse than bball training last time..and almost twice as mentally tiring as well..
so the main question that I usually ask myself is whether...is it all worth it?
ShadowFighterX
(yesterday they gave me a spot to challenge the school team at bowling...im not sure whether i even want to be on the team..or can...)
.Wednesday, February 20, 2008 ' 6:08 PM Y
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Mood: Sleepy.
so, sO SLEEPY.
UGH.
tuition just ended. wtheck i guess.
tests today were pretty hard. tomorrow and the day after should be even harder. well. that's life.
health checkup, everything's fine.
Negima has serious fan service. sigh. are people going to be mistaking me for a perve now?
writings been good. new plots for Night Phantom and Shadow Infinity, though I'm not making much progress with ShadowRealm.
got my 17th review today. :)
running once every three days. pretty tiring, but it keeps me in great shape.
form was good today. scored past weng siang, hopper, etc. not great enough form to beat them, but at least a dozen baskets.
the sec twos are getting better. I bet amiru will get pretty ego inflated, since i admitted that he's becoming a natural leader. the sort of player who leads by action, by one look on the court you can tell he's directing the movement. and just a year ago, I thought he was hopeless. tsk. that's one of the few times I've made misjudgements on someone's basketball capability.
such as ben goh. the kid used to be a good guy, but now he's just pissing me off. where the hell is my bball?! bad enough he lost it, he's just taking his time to find and give the replacement to me. was quite pissed off, and the bball boys aren't too happy with him either.
he could have improved a lot, but he spends way too much time skipping training and playing soccer. sigh. weird how things turn out.;
brother's getting better too. still can't forget the day he ankle-breakered me.
tired...lucky i've done so much work in advance..
and mrs cheong praised my letter writing today. it's been ages since the last time I got 27/30 for my compo that's she's actually said something good about my work, and I had thought it was bad. miracle. thanks god.
well..
time to do my least favourite thing-wait for adrienne to spam my blog again and come up with witty banter to piss her off somemore.
why won't she leave me alone?
ShadowFighterX
.Saturday, February 16, 2008 ' 11:24 PM Y
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Mood: Relatively happy
Well yesterday it was my birthday, so it went pretty well.
bballing i was owning. :) even blocked weng! hee.
bowling was owning. just one of those days.. =)
mm..
school was tough though. not to mention boring. but nevertheless.
oh, and we missed half of pe.
and of course, as it happens every birthday. dumb total defence speeches.
I was at an angle to sniper ad's head, but I decided against it.
then after bowling , went 0ut with tom and waik. the guys were really great. they treated everything. gotta save up for their birthdays too.
oh, and i missed pam's birthday. i have really GOT TO BUY her something. but the tests that week were seriously overwhelming. sigh.
anyway.
today was awful at first. i overslept and kept doing stuff wrong doing tuition. ruth was pretty supportive, but I just sucked.
after that the day got better. lunch and all was pretty good, since rach bought me and joel popeyes.
oh, and birthday presents from people were good, especially joel. and madeline made me a card. that was sweet of her. quite a few people wished me too.
went to church and stuff.
sigh. mum is really not pleased with ben losing my ball..hope the kid really gets me a new one..otherwise..well. yeah.
anyway.
bballed with pearl for awhile.
the concert was pretty good..aka the belated v day one..a bit short though and at some points boring..talked to quite a few ppl today...
gave away those fake daisies I stole to beryl, clairah and amanda lu. it's a warm fuzzy feeling left. i guess im still quite a hopeless romantic.
i think they really liked it. seeing their faces light up and blushing. hehe.
ehh. that's the first time i've given flowers to girls..i think..
mm.
fun.
ShadowFighterX
.Thursday, February 14, 2008 ' 6:18 PM Y
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Sucks!
Obviously, I didn;t get a date. some people can start celebrating now.
flunked the oral exam.
flunked the chem test.
flunked..math? I don't know.
lost to the bball team with them having only 5 players and us with NINE. we were totally played. it wasn't even basketball. it was just mocking.
finger keeps hurting, so now I can't catch properly.
leg muscles busted from all that training. can't run fast, can't jump high.
tiring day, stressful..
adrienne was a bitch again..
two and only TWO good things happened today.
the first being that the com is finally repaired, so I'm typing on it now.
second that I still pulled off some great shots. so it's not all me, then.
sigh.
sucky.
ShadowFighterX
.Tuesday, February 12, 2008 ' 9:14 PM Y
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Mood: Sleepy, slightly pissed.
Sleepy.
ugh/.
well. all that high impact training has been paying off because my leg muscles are pretty solid without having to actually exercise them. of course, it was shortly after this that I arrived at the conclusion that leg muscles do not make me look any better, hence less ego.
had it two days ago, when waik and i played against those ITE graduates. superb jump shots and unbelievable speed. sort of combines with all that intensity training, and when I get that back, I'll be even better than I am now. :)
plus, I got my pecs back after doing loads of situps. so happy. :) (most people know I lost them after quitting. and they say junk food damages your health!)
that's the good news.
the bad news is that it was so tiring to move my legs (that goes for yesterday as well) thahat I couldn't defend anyone, thus I kept losing. ugh.
need my form back.
plus, the whole getting my pecs back is overrated. I can't laugh or cough without it HURTING. newly developed, or re-developed, after all.
then today, after losing horribly to brother, ad had to kakao me and call me 'lulu." this immediately got my attention. *twitches* yes, I am arrogant. happy? it's adrienne. I have to be irritating to her. it's like it becomes natural now. besides, she said she'd leave me alone (unless she'll tell me who anonymous is, in this case, she promised to tell me and then lied) and she didn't. so if I was mean to her, she deserves it.
and then she had the nerve to tell me to leave HER alone! god.
well, weelin being there didn't exactly help...
talked about past stuff while arguing, like what adrienne told me that weelin's not supposed to know and what weelin said that ad's not supposed to know.
I guess I should apologize. no matter how much I dislike you girls for what you did to me, I don't get to ruin someone's 'friendship.' went a bit too far.
weelin was like 'why are you bringing this up now?' and I really wanted to say 'hello? reality check? what they did and said about not just me but YOU last year, and oh yeah, I'm NOT STALKING YOU.' but I really didn't. well, i sort of said it now but I don't really mean it, I guess.
at least her friends don't appear to hate me. as in apart from lq's gang, weelin and adrienne. and she said all the girls in her class thought I was crazy. HAH. JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER, AD.
I have to admit, I was pretty irritating today. after all, I was so tired that I couldn't shoot, got frustrated from losing on the court, hw and adrienne to top it all off. maybe I just need to slack awhile (which is what I'm doing anyway!) and cool off...
yanlin didn't tell me why she stopped talking to me, I guess weelin can do the same. they're pretty much the same thing...
OMFG the same thing.
sec 1's, damnit. that's 3 or 4 now.I need to fucking SLEEP.
ShadowFighterX
.Saturday, February 09, 2008 ' 9:49 PM Y
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Mood: Ugh.
Can't people stop assuming im lazy and actually give me some credit for the work I actually do?! Infuriating.
less than one week to valentines, less than one week to my birthday..
tom's not back yet.
waik and i went bball yesterday. met up with pearl too.
tomorrow..
sigh.
tomorrow..
what am i doing with my life..?
ShadowFighterX
.Thursday, February 07, 2008 ' 11:04 PM Y
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Mood: -
sigh.
well, feelings are..
weird.
dreamt of her twice in two nights, and she doesn't even exist.
can't remember how she looks like, her face, anything about her.
and yet I feel like I'm in love with her for some reason or whatever.
like one of those science fiction movies where we're either separated by time, distance or alternate realities.
I have no idea what to think.
chinese new year is nice i suppose. it's not always about the cash though.
wonder what I'm going to do with my life?
SBQ common test coming up, math, english, science, chinese..
results so far have been promising. well. some at least.
for chinese I have two b3's (miracle!) a c6, a d7 and an f9. overall c5, possible b4 if excluding the weaker tests later.
english is um. currently an a2. a very, very low a2.
A math is a1 with an 85% plus plus average. :)
science no idea. =/
ss sucks. failed. by a LOT.
lit. no idea.
E math no idea. not looking too good, cuz i can't understand some stuff. will have to ask ruth about it.
sleepy.
thinking about my dream girl a lot since I first dreamt of her. who is she?
I don't know whether i want to keep dreaming of her or stop dreaming of her.
because waking up is slightly painful.
and it's getting worse.
ShadowFighterX
(my com is NOT repaired...ugh.)
(I sent a really ,REALLY wrong message to my crazy neighbour by accident. something tells me people are going to get the wrong idea on monday. still..it would have been interesting to see her reaction, wouldn't it?)
.Friday, February 01, 2008 ' 2:22 PM Y
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Mood: sleepy.
sleepy.
ugh.
didn't realize people wanted me to win cross country. well. shucks. not like i gave it all i had, anyway. hope no one's cocky enough to think they've won like that.
should probably NOT have snacked so much over the last week though. i was kidding myself. maybe i am too arrogant. =( i told myself I wouldn't run but I ended up running and in the end, I sprinted too much and stopped here and there...shucks.
one thing strange was that I was pretty sure I could have gotten top 3...but today, I wasnt sure about first.
shiva was running fast enough...but daryl, hell. im not sure if I could beat him even if I wasn't slacking.
something to think about i guess. new motivation to train.
anyway, after my horrible defeat, Ady, Nawshein and I went to Mcs and talked for a long while. it was fun. too lazy to move, but still.
ate a lot. shrugs.
aww well. time to go back to serious training. sounds like fun anyway...I don like to lose, even if there arent any prizes. ;)
whew.
got to record all of this for my book...
wonder when I'm going to edit ShadowFighterX? maybe after i finish Night Phantom and finish my ShadowFighterX trilogy, I'll publish a couple of articles, books...hopefully make my start in the working world.
can't afford to be poor.
Dear God, was I so overconfident today?I ask that you humble me in my place and help me remember that every given talent comes from you.giveth and taketh away.promise that I'll dedicate my next win to you, if by your strength you let me win.please pray that i won't become overconfident. thanks guys.
do tag once in a while though. its always nice to know who's reading this.
ShadowFighterX