Mood: well.

today the most surprising thing happened. subhas, APPARENTELY is getting the team the apologise, which clearly I don't believe.

and teacher? i don know.
THIS SUCKs.

So. just thought id write this. it's random. but painful. so...
different.
extract from chinese textbook* translated in my style...(edited)

This is for those who don't cherish what they have, who only one to live when they're dying.


That day, it had just begun to rain. The streets were wet and flooded. We were seeking shelter under the stairs, watching the flashing 'green man' lights across the road. Kept carefully inside my white coat was a letter, to my mother living in the south.

She. She said she wanted to help me mail it. After all, it was just across the street. I shouldn't have listened, but I was captiviated by her wanting smile. Nodding my head, I passed her the letter, a smile on both our faces.

"Huh." she started, snatching the umbrella playfully from me. "Whose idea was it to only bring one umbrella in this downpour?" I sighed, because full well knowing I was the one who cleverly figured that it wouldn't rain. Poor six sense.

It was this moment that will remain forever in my mind. As she began to walk across the road, with the raindrops bouncing off my umbrella...

The screech of the tyres on a slippery wet road. There was never a chance. She was sent flying, landing with a soft thud on the side of the walk, like a midnight butterfly.

...It was spring, but it felt like winter.
She was just going across the road to help me mail a letter. Just a simple walk, but it became the most unforgettable and regrettable incident in my life. I could not bear to open my eyes, as I stood paralyzed under the staircase, while my eyes filled up with transparent beads that fell to the ground unknowingly.

The whole seemed to come to a stop, and people crowded the single area. Nobody. Nobody there knew, that she was mine. She was my only, my beloved butterfly, the one I loved. 5 metres away, she left me. She was gone. Gone from my life.

Why? Why didn't I bring one more umbrella?

Finally, my mind begant to swirl, and darkness overtook me. In my mind, I replayed the scene, watching her beautiful smile as she walked across the road silently, with only the pitter-patter of rain to disturb the peace with us.

She was just mailing my letter.

Incidentely, it was for my mum. As I collapsed to the ground, violently shaking from overshock, I saw her reach the middle of the road, knowing full well what was going to happen next, as I had just seen it. Even though it was now a light drizzle, it felt like the biggest storm in my life. For the situation to be even more ironic, she would never see the short letter that I wrote to my mother.

"Dearest Mum.
I'll just make this short, because I need to go and buy it. It takes a week for this letter to reach your new address, and the day after that is her birthday. On that day, I'm going to ask her to...marry me."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mood: Well.

=( feel kinda bad. I mean. I haven't been a nice person lately. Not that I have been a nice person lately. But. just haven't been. People, friends, family deserve better than that.
...haiz.

When am I going to stop hurting myself?
I don't know.

Tried training myself. so not fun. I only lasted 40 min b4 i got bored. haiz. this isnt going too well. =( it doesn't help that either nobody's free, or they don wanna play. so mean. so unfair. this sucks. is this my retribution for not going to camp!?

=( i know i broke my promise to teacher.
but this is ridiculous. wee, tom, waik, probably yeo, im not calling zack...
NOBODY'S FREAKIN FREE.

it SUCKS! gawd.
okay. im okay. calm down.
this is NOT a good day to blog.
later.
X

Mood: Sigh.

Im sneezing. It happens when you're out in the rain too long.
It started raining like crazy after I came out of the library late. Than the **%#(#$%()@(#@# rain gave me a cold. I can't stop sneezing now.

Don't feel like bringing out issues that shouldn't be brought up.

I just wish you'd trust me.

..I must be a lot more hated than I thought, becuz people backstabbed me. As in. Seriously backstabbed. No one could have known about that kind of past unless I had mentioned it to them. So yeah. Kinda sad.

..maybe for a little while, I can change back...
Im not a REALLY christian kind of guy. It's about time I acknowledged that. yay.
Gawd. I hurt myself.

...maybe I forgot how it's like. That nobody judges you, right? ...
But it's hard. Society and all.

Am I a hypocrite? mm.
Oh yeah.Forgot to mention.

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
My mum. This further proves how non-devout I am.
It sucks.

I just can't help it if I hated him and life and everyone for everything that's happened to me.
..It's not fair. At all.

But I am not going to anymore. So speaking in seriously childish tongues, I resolve..
1. Not to hate or blame God, for the things that happened.
2. Not to hate my mum, for letting more things happen.
3. Not to let anger get in the way.

So. A new chapter ( hopefully) begins in the life of Luke Ho.
And I need to know.
Who I am.
And who I'm going to be.
ShadowFighterX

Mood: Sigh.

Mum brought up the question again. At least it wasn't the talk. Hey. Running away from home for the second time on the same day in two years isn't the smartest thing you can do. It's so distracting, I haven't bathed.

I don't know.
After all.
When I was 6, I thought it was some funny Christian ritual thing. (soaking your body in cold water in front of people. hey. 6 year old. yeah.)
When I was 7, I figured if you didn't do this, you'd go to hell.
When I was 8, I just figured I was being childish.

Now it's irony. Baptism.
...It's a declaration of faith in Christ. And it purifies and such.
Here's a wikepedia thing.

Purification ritual using water practiced in many of various religions including Christianity, Mandaeanism, and Sikhism. Christian baptism has its origins with the Jewish ritual of mikvah. The word baptize derives from the Greek word βάπτειν (the infinitive; also listed as the 1st person singular present active indicative βαπτίζω), which loosely means "to dip, bathe, or wash". To some groups it is a matter of religious conviction to assert that baptism is literally equivalent to, to plunge something entirely into the water, so that the water closes over it. To other groups, baptism is a symbolic term meaning "identification with" (e.g. Jesus) having no connection with earthly ritual.

Or so they say. Sigh.
...Personally. I hate my life. I mean, anyone who actually bothers to pay close attention to my life notices that I spent the years of my life obsessing on a girl, trying to commit suicide and failing miserably, running away from home, saving people's asses except my own, having a fond rebel habit, getting into trouble with discipline mistresses for unknown reasons despite being a prefect, being a frantic overemotional person in general, fighting in school, basketballl highs and lows, ping pong, running , mountain climbing, even swimming.

argueing and fighting with my parents, especially my mum.
self-proclaimed Time-Crisis king...

...I've done a lot of things in my life. It's nice to acknowledge them.
Hey. I think too much. I know.

Clarissa getting baptized. She smsed me in the middle of High School Musical. So frankly, I missed it. Feel guilty. I don't know when she's getting baptized. Congratulations I suppose.

But I don't think it's worth anything.
..sometimes, a part of me just hates God. For everything he's allowed to take place in my life. It's not as if I haven't gone through things that no one else has gone through. They dont deserve to go through it. Not at my age. so unless you're Nat. or Ding Hao, or some other angst background person, you've got no excuse.

Or maybe I'm just upset.
Two years ago, I had just recovered from my suicide attempt. I had told Cheryl all about it.
And that moment, because we went through encounter, it felt..unbelievable. I wouldn't stop crying. And I thought that hey. maybe I am loved. maybe there is something to live for.

there has always been something, someone to live for. He is the Lord your God, the Lord of Heaven and Earth, mighty and powerful...

and all that jazz. yes. i think i hate him. im being deceived, but hell i hate him. this shouldn't have happened. after all. a year later i wouldn;t stop crying. except for much different reasons.
not even Labyrinth made me cry.

Teacher told me. Being indifferent is a sin. Because..well. of something. I don't remember. The day I ran away from home again, I talked to Mrs Leong for the first time in 9 months about issues. as mentor to mentee basis, i think. ..so.
it...struck me. the small part of me that was burning. that part that has always been burning.

and ladies and gentlemen, far from it for me to say so, but once again, I'm torn.
That night. I saw her again. .. I just don't see..why I can't seem to get her out of my mind permanently. maybe this is my fate.

...some of me. wants to prove it. wants to do what I had been planning to do for the past 3 years, but had always put it off for some reason, or some situation that tore me and threw it aside.
I want to baptized.

And then, the other side, my darker, my colder, my evil...numb side. Has no belief in God left. there is only hatred, pain, hurt, anger, lust. malice, coldness...
Ice.
And more darkness.

So the question I want to know now, apart from when I should be baptized, provided I can overcome this...which I doubt more than ever.
Is.
Who is Luke Ho?

Because I don't know. I'd want to know. I'd love to know. Obviously, because I exist as him.
But I don't know who he is.

Mood: Well.. =)
IT works. Yeah man!
And thanks to the thing called 'Archives', I can post as many times as I want! Aww... right!! =)
Except that I won';t ve able to edit my previous posts...[:(]
anyway. today skipped training. again.
I could't help it. The thought of going back there irks me. It haunts me. Almost.
Today's is Junice's birthday. Happy birthday. :)

So...met teacher for a very short time today morn. Then met up with Clarissa and Vicki, went to Jurong Point for no significant reason, went back to Clementi...went to KAt's house...
Asked Wee to come along. At first he was pretty bored, especially when he wouldn't jump into the water just becuz he only had one set of clothes. tsk. anyway, he clearly found a way to entertain himself. so there. =)
swimmiing in the pool with clothes is damn fun. clarissa sprayed water in my left eye though, so it stings a little now, but it's okay. =)
Pushed kat and vicki into the water, puled clarissa in with me. i should really do this more often.


kat's house is comfortable. I fell asleep for almost 5 minutes, when one of the three girls woke me up by trying to steal the blanket. so much for letting me go to sleep. =(
but moreover, the day was fun. just kinda tired. sincei slept for like. 3 hours after my tuition. then watched tv while eating..got too engrossed ( ehehhehheh/)
wee's blog is complainin bt me now. see it. ;)
..and i guess im quitting the bball team. this to training? this makes training look so sick.
...I just needed to be happy.
And I am.
This is my 301th illegal post, as
ShadowFighterX

Mood: Well. This is it.
Last post. Im so going to make this long. As I can, that is.
So yesterday was a lot of fun. It also consisted of moving a lot, A LOT OF THINGS into Yunnan Corner, cleaning up the place when a bunch of irresponsible students left filthy ( with cigarettes and everything! tsk.) and blowing up balloons.
But otherwise, fun. Cards, pool, dodgeball...
and food. who can forget the food?
especially the chocolate fondue. right wee?
and johan of cuz. so virtually no one i know came except for wee, mr ang and johan. for some reason the girls didn't come. haiz. but anyway, after everyone lost to mr ang at pool, we played cards and loser had to do push ups! ahahas. i didn't do at all. ;) ( good thing first round was trial run)
so anyway, they left. then guan hui, jeremy and my bro joel played dodgeball with some of the kids. i tried to lead the kids. and honestly, for their age, they were pretty good. but i guess not good enough. =( ahahas.

then we switched sides several times...until i got paired up with guan hui. we kept owning jeremy and jo. lolz. so fun! and there was even one DOUBLE KILL which i did that sent guan hui into tears of laughter. but that's okay. he made me collapse from making me laugh so much.
but it was fun. joey seems to have enjoyed himself too. pretty good, considering the lack of PS2 and the ping-pong bats. i can't believe we didn't bring them...

Um. for those who actually read my ShadowFighterX series, which Grace is typing at an exceedingly slow rate ( which is also why i paid her $10, i knew she couldn't do it! wahahaha... ( evil maniacal laughter*) it's just too long. So I've stopped for a while, and am working on the prequel, ShadowRealm. eheheh. please continue to b a fan. please? =(

ah wellz.
burned the rest of "Affirmation" songs. Savage Garden is really good. unfortunately, for all their sappy romantic lyrics, the lead singer is gay. or is one. sighs. irony.

and now today.
teacher's got food poisoning. this is not the first time i've woken her up when she's sick. i feel really guilty. =( sighs.
but i didn't go training. in fact, those guys are probably having a match now. why? wee didn't go. teacher didn't go. there's no way im going alone. no way on earth. so i didn't go. yeah.

... i guess, if teacher can't come every training, I really should quit. i can't help it. i depend on teacher, a LOT for emotional support during training, even more when wee's not around. and..he's not coming anymore..he's quitting for good...
if i quit im so going to lose any pacs i might possibly have. and maybe my running stamina. sigh. got to find a way to keep fit. maybe wee and I can form an unofficial bball team for people who don't want to be stuck with that bunch. yeah. i think they would go for it.
in fact..why not? there's so many of us...
and it'll be a great way to meet up, since we're all diff. classes...
Yep. pure genius.

later got class leader meeting. why do i even bother with things that take up my time? orientation camp. oh goody. how can i be a sports leader if i don't have a cca? ..now im worried.

...im officially in. (8) i can't say, as much as i would love to say it. But I'll just say with everything not going on, maybe i can see her. *end*

...after all. when was the last time i saw her? ...it's been almost a year since she was no longer my mentor... since time, and distance...but...i guess i need her now. the final way to talk some sense into my head.
maybe i will.
maybe i will.

yeah.
ShadowFighterX

Mood: Bored.

So in ten minutes I'll be offline. Why? Cuz my mum wants me to read kill a mockingbird. oh wow.
bbq tomorrow. no one. and i mean no one. has confirmed they're coming. it's so darn irritating.
fell asleep TWICE TODAy. after waking up at 10. gosh. i must be a lot more tired than i thought.
Phase 1 of being a kind, warm hearted and loving individual began today. I helped mum with shopping. I can't believe it. Its like. wow. so. unnatural.

But it worked. I earned a dollar! lolz. though it wasn't my original intention.
..it's hard to keep this up. it's been so long.

..sigh. is it so hard to do this.
and remeber before..?

what's happening to me?

Mood: Shadow/ ...

Im feeling really dark. And evil. And hurt. And cold.
Wow. It's been a while.

...Anyway.
So I'm happily minding my own business when on wednesday, shimin jumps me with all sorts of stuff. Stuff that I'd really hate to deal with. And I try not to. After all, how do you react when someone accuses you of killing her? God. Then she does something totally unexpected and uncalled for, and then..
And in the end, she blasts me with how she loves someone more than me and how she pleads with me heroically to protect her friends from yours truly, the Ultima Hurter. Clearly I must be more hurtful than I thought.
Not as if she didn't hurt me. At the very least, I have an excuse, even if I didn't do it intentionally. So...

I'm lost anyway. Clarissa hates me. Again. That's four times this week. I'm not getting anywhere, friend or no friend. ...I've got to be a really terrible person. honestly.

mm. so yesterday was tom's b'day. waik and I bought him a standard present, a bball. =)
Met up with some of the 6c guys. Amazing how people change. But at least..they weren't changes that made me hate or dislike them. Like... ------

..although a lot of ppl have forgotten something.
this would have been the 3rd anniversary of my death. if...I hadn't survived. but with the way most people treat me nowadays, you'd think I haven't thought of dying enough already.
I guess it shows how less important I am to everyone than b4.

So I crashed into a pole today, and broke out crying for not particular reason at all that was apparent to the basketball team. They all thought I was crying because of my injuries. Sheesh. My injuries have practically recovered.

So I broke. No big deal, right? I was going to break anyway. just not to break on tom's birthday. yeah. i owed him that.

Talked to teacher about...almost everything. Almost everything. I couldn't. I just couldn't.
And she got to my head. At last.
...I guess I know what to do now.

Maybe. Maybe I feel unloved. Maybe everyday I live life feeling without purpose, absolutely lonely and miserable. But.
I can still love. I can. And I will.

So maybe I have to restart. Begin anew. I don't know. See how as the rest of the year goes, and make a decision.
...I was never good enough for anyone.
...but.
I'm just an empty tank.
I'm not the only one.

Mood: mm...
im so bored.
end of tuition. waik's got stuff, but tom is coming over.
Im starting to think that there's more to Tan Ding Hao then meets the eye. I mean honestly. He's got a background like. every bit as angst as mine. except his is family.
his self mechanism is acting retarded. me? i just like being angst and self-pity and suicidal.

That's stopped for the past 17 hours though.
Im so addicted to 简单爱.

Sleepy. Got my sch books already. Arrgh. Now I have no reason not to study. I think.
I wonder what Im going to do for the next few days. So bored.
did i already mention im bleeding? as in. internallly. wonder how that happens. doc said it's kidney. the same thing from last year..or was it two years ago?

God, I hope I know what Im doing.
3 posts to go. i m just wasting them all. then i can pester someone to help me make a new blog. hehe.
later.

Mood: =)

God, I hope it wasn't a dream. *Short post*
Anyway...

Tune in to yesterday's events...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aww. tough luck. For safety reasons. Anyway, latest...
1. David's party was fun. And the best was obviously, NEMO! yay. nemo is so darn cute larh. you can just like, hug it to pieces. i dunno. but it's too squishy for that.
2. Listening to Kiss Goodbye reminds me of the mentors at camp.
3. Truth or dare. I mean, what else would it be . We should have played freeze and melt though. At the party, all we did, was eat, sleep and play. literally. =)
4. ...sometimes, I think I'm becoming darker and colder. And then Im warm. Life is confusing.
Gotta buy sch books...
later...

Mood: OMG. 6 posts b4 end of my blog...
But I don't really care about that.
Right now? Im comtemplating over the last 5 hours. why?
because godamnit luke ho, it's freakin 4.30 in the morning?! why the hell can't you go to sleep?!

Sigh. arrgh. stupid. stupid. stupid.
Stupid life. Stupid me. Stupid advice. Stupid everything. Stupid wee. ( hehe that's just for rendomness.)
okay. back to seriousness.

1. yeesh. the whole time the song was jian dan ai. and in the end i finally got it. yay. tood wee. hehe. which reminds me. he has to return me my resident evil game in like. 5 hours. less.
2. been doing a lot of thinking lately. i mean, it's something that's been gone and lost, right? I can't just dwell on someone else again...but maybe since im so used to it already.

so confused. I can't think, can't sleep, can't even eat. ( in case someone does understand this, which you won't because you're too stupid, and im just saying that cuz im in a a super o-m-g-how-can-i-be-so-stupid mood, not eating is a serious thing. seriously. )

god. im so stupid. i pray that i won't be so stupid in future. that way, no one else life has to be messed up but my own. not only for last night but for every other night for the last 8 and a half years that i've beem crying and killing my heart and soul for someone who can't love me.

maybe i should have known better. i can't force love.
god. im so stupid.

I can't think.
I can't sleep.
And I can't eat.
For some reason, it's hard to be sarcastic all of a sudden.
And I feel so cold.

Mood: well....

Im back. Freedom from caterpillars, ants and best of all, mosquitoes.
Talk about finally.

Anyway...
I wrote all the reflections in my log book...too lazy to type it out. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't.

Anyway...
Apparentely I can still talk to Clarissa. yay. actually, I don't. more like sms or msn or whatever. the problems with I.T. haix.
one down, two to go. ;)

Feeling very smiley today. Like. Wanna laugh and stuff. Don know.

Wee and I still don't know whether to quit. I sure don't, at least. It's hard.
To think about...Im not making any right moves lately...
I can't think, can't judge, can't trust myself...
Feels helpless. Feels a little but not too useless.
Just feels.

Yan lin was in the camp. Shi Min also.
You know, leaders take on many roles...and in a camp like that, it's kinda sadistically amusing to see all the leaders trying to lead because duh, that's what they do! cept' for me cuz.
1. I don't like leading that kinda team.
2. It's boring.
3. Not a good time or place, and especially not a good situation.

Anyway.
mostly im almost done with ShadowRealm part 1. Im so proud of myself for actually typing it out myself. so proud of it. =)
Time to spam FFXII too!
Which reminds me. Anyone who sees this, tell Grace to hurry!

right ppl. really sleepy. and nd to go out for my sis b'day.
just leave myself and you guys with a clue on what's on my mind.

...did you ever imagine something impossible?
A dream ,a a fantasy, a nightmare?
And maybe, one day, it came true?

obviously, not what you expected.
but then, as usual, something weird happens.

I fell for someone I never imagined I could fall for.
And that's natural.
And that's wrong.
Sigh.

Mood: Well.

Ain't life grand.
My email's back on this com. Talk about finally. I don't know how it happened, but at least it happened. so yeah.

it's getting hard to talk to clarissa. ( yeah i know you can read this. lolz. no offense k?) maybe it's because the only long-time chatting we've done is on msn. So yeah.
So. Have any of you ever gone through something like that? When you feel you can type forever chatting with someone but in real life..well. doesn't work too well. haix.
im sure it'll adjust.

anyway, training today? sucked. talk about intensive.
im so glad i missed most of it. :)
yesterday went kbox. personally, i've never been there till yesterday. it was kinda fun. though for my self-esteem, not exactly, because i used to think my singing sucked.
Now I KNOW my singing sucks.

haix.
it's seems like im transparent lately.i don know. might be imagining it. might not be.
and it seems i imagine more than just that.

what on earth is happening to me?
So confused. :s
and tired. tomorrow got camp. yeahyeah. super overrated. i don even know why i agreed to go...
now i remember.
okay. nvm.

pehz. which reminds me. yours truly completed DOC! it's Dirge of Ceberus, FFVII. and it rocks! tho' i haven't exactly played FFXII yet./ probably better.

ah wellz. sighz. going to be homesick...
haven't even gotten to try FFXII...sigh...
ah wellz.
later.
ShadowFighterX

Mood: Confused.

God. Girls are confusing.

Clarissa. I'm presuming you still read my blog. When I say you get to me, it's not in a bad way. okay?
of course not.

mm. ximin hates me too. but that's assumption. she just doesn't like me very much.
ooh. life sucks becuz of that.

um. let's see. yesterday mum and dad most unexpectedly decided I should watch the match ( right...? thanks!) so yeah. watched it. we won, usual stuff, some seniors didn't play at all, most seniors did, subhas played very well ( man. if only his one-on-one...tsk! ahaha. so proud of him larh. okay? not jealous.) , wee didn't play at all, i stood and sat and spilled water watching...yay.

whatever.
kinda in a oh-life-sucks-but-live-with-it-cuz-it's-actually-not-so-bad kind of mood but at the same time in a geez-if-this-is-not-so-bad-i-wish-smartasses-would-just-shut-up-and-stop-irritating-me mood. which is why i yelled at nick. he was being a smartass. lolz. just jk. but im sorry larh. a bit unfair to yell at you.
althought i admit my singing does suck.

sleepy. and ive been trying out my messenger on this com. this seriously sucks. the thing just disappears and dies. i can't log on for more than 2 minutes. have to start using the other com, which btw, CAN'T LOAD MY EMAIL.

played rounders and stuff today..did very well pitching ( i think!) ...and nearly overdid it with the leg..going to bathe soon cuz im gonna stink up the whole place at this rate.

mm. funny thing happened today. i was hungry and I ate two McSpicy's, chicken nuggets and fries and a drink ( OMGOSH. ATE THAT ON FRIDAY ALSO. SO GONNA GET HEARTATTACK.) and when i came back home, turns out my bro bought me another McSpicy. so gonna die. thanks joel! [( tho' i can't eat it...yet..;) ]

I realize that this year I have been more immature than usual. mm. if hpps ppl actually bother looking at my blog. lolz. i hope im not getting influenced by all the girls lately. even 'diao' is starting to get common.

now im worried.
lolz. later!
ShadowFighterX

Mood: Flare.

Arrgh.
Life just pisses me off.
So today we got an ultimatum. Pretty much haven't decided yet. Im so torn. That sucks.
Clarissa hates wee. Clarissa is nice. Clarrisa is mean. Clarissa is confusing. Clarissa is funny.
-she is really starting to get to me. pehz.

colder.
harder.
darker.


here's a toast. to another day of my pathetic life. yay.
gawd. i can't sing for nuts. ahaha. don't judge me. you want to/ I'll make it slow, hurting, personal and painful. so much more than you can't take.

feeling so evil. so cruel. so dark.
like a shadow of myself.
stop.

I Need to yell.
DarknessShadow

Mood: Sigh..
Today was it. not that grand. loads of ppl left early. not fun.
leg throbbing again. haix.
well...

darkness is really taking me. sometimes, I can't even control what I'n doing, just letting Abomination take over.
I feel so lost.

acted like a idiot today. mm. well. i was down bt stuff. to put it simply.
better to act stupid than angry and sad. i mean. it's a gathering. a celebration and parting thing.
at least it was fun.

i think.
really gonna miss them.
tom and waik dropped by. i don't know why i gave them $10. so much unlike me.
i hate change. i lose more and more of myself.
feel darker. feel colder.

angst*
haha. not really.
but i can't help wishing it wasn't like that all my life.
which reminds me. i didn't even get to complete my song.
maybe shld practice more./ haha. know wee is gonna say something bt that.
know hu pig is now. =)

haix. too...
later.
ShadowFighterX

Mood: It's one of those days you're too sleeepy to argue.

Well. Tomorrow is the day...finally...
i'm not that bent on singing anymore. haix. me and my big mouth.
but i promised myself i'd do it. otherwise i'm a coward.
haix.

got into a terrible conversation with clarissa. a little surprised that she talked to me in the first place. i don't usually talk to her.

was not feeling too well about anything ( can you blame me? yeesh...) but haix. now she's thinks i'm a liar. that just so works for me.

i'm tired. of everything.
Sometimes, I don't understand the reason why I keep myself contained...
And then I remember her.

And everything I did, everything that happened to me. That sent my life spiralling down a drain...
I'm indifferent and darker than before.
deal with it.
later.

Luke Ho
15 Years Old
15/02/1992
New Town Secondary School
Basketballer

Likes

Jesus, my Lord and Saviour
Her--obviously,who else..?
Basketball
Running
Slackin
Any form of games that i am fantastic at


Detests

[x]Betrayers
[x]Liars
[x]Heartbreakers(not directing to me.)
[x]Jerks

Alex

Amanda

Bettina

Charmaine

Cynthia

Dinah

Fanny

Hannah

Hernhern

Jia Wen

Joshua

Jules

Jun Jie

Junice

Kai Yang

Leonard

Liping

Marcus P

Marcus Wee

Marion

Mrs Ang

Mr Ang

Nicolas

Nicole

Pearly

Peggy

Priscilla

Sano

Shimin

Stephie

Sulwyn

Varun

Vera

Xiang Rui

Ximin

Zeken

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6c blog!

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