.Tuesday, November 29, 2005 ' 2:09 PM Y
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My name is Luke Ho.
I'm sure you all know that already.
What is Luke Ho like?
Nobody knows.
I sure don't.
I could have died today from exhaustion.
I took a 156 bus to the previous SMU building with the indoor basketball court passing through nanyang girls and hwa chong and all sorts of other schools. I took them as landmarks in case i got lost.
Smart thing to do. Considering what happened later.
Two things. First of all, new town beat fairfield by an overhaul and they are so fortunate we weren't counting the score otherwise it should be at least over 50 points plus.
I scored 4. Yay.
Secondly. I really got lost. I took the 156 in the other direction and landed up somewhere in choa chu kang instead of clementi. I owe tom $13 for the taxi, otherwise i'd never have gotten home.
I can't walk. Maybe tomorrow it'll be better.
My blog hasn;t changed in a year.
Maybe that's because i didn't set up the blog in the first place.
Somebody help me?
I want to sleep.
I want to go bowling. Not basketball.Getting sick of it ( can't believe i said that ).
I miss my old friends. Yarh. old frens are the best frens.
new town guys are a pain. no wonder why girls don't like them. then again, girls don't like me either.
i mean personally.
wonder how nat is doing?
i saw her at dover mrt.
she was dressed real funny.
her eyes bulge when she's surprised. kinda cute. and funny.
sleepy....
wonder why people quit blogging?
maybe becuz they're sick of listening to ppl like me.
i'm totally out of it.
every time there's some new fad i'm always the last one to pick it up.
by the time i enjoy it, everyone else hates it.
sheesh. honestly.
How do you define love?
Maybe i'll neevr know whether i know it?
or whether i already am.
or whether everntually it'll work out.
but at least now i know one thing.
i'm not prepared. yet.
hahaha.
HIJACKER.
.Friday, November 18, 2005 ' 1:43 PM Y
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Can't believe it.
Can't believe Junice cancelled her blog.
Can't believe that i missed the chance to see her today.
Can't believe Goblet of Fire was so boring.
OR maybe it might have been better if it had been more detailed, but still, boring.
Can't believe i overslept on tom's birhtday celebration, which is today.
Can't believe that westmall air conditioners were ALL ENTIRELY SHUT DOWN TODAY. It was burning.
Can't believe it. I'm bored.
again.
Nowadays i wonder, especially with all the free time I have ( or not so free time actually, but slightly better then being in sch)....why? Why didn't i try to talk to Jun in all those previous years? How does that make sense when..now. We're just not...well.
And I dont know what to buy for her. Maybe i shldn't buy anything. Becuz the only things i know how to buy are books, games and chocolates.
Seriously.
and cds.
Okay. fine.
and furthermore, how could i POSSIBLY BE INFATUATED WITH MY TEACHER?! Arrgh! Silly. Stupid. Not thinking straight.
Honestly.
Speaking of which nowadays? Age difference in marriage are kinda common. And all those stories in books and movies.
Infatuation is so common.
Take for example. In lord of the rings aragon and arwen. honestly. i don even wanna mention their age difference.
And Eragon and Arya. He's sixteen. she's a hundred. he sure wouldn't like her if she looked like an old hag..
But that's elves and humans. Maybe love actually does exist....maybe it's possible...that it can actually exist for me.
i don't know.
people my age? and even slightly older? teenagers. they're so ....easily manipulated. nobody. nobody knows what love is, what love means. you can say it and not mean it. it's just words. love is more then words.
a bond of trust and unity and faith....and all that. well. basically.
it's just saying it in a moment of impulse and puppy love perhaps.
why doesn't anyone my age understand that?
when you say i love you, can you mean it/?
can you show it?
maybe i have absolutely no idea how to show her I love her. but that isn't worse then not meaning what i say.
teenagers have to learn how to mean what they say when it come to love.
maybe you shouldn't get involved in it. not now.
maybe i shouldn;t get involved in it. not ever.
depressed.
.Sunday, November 13, 2005 ' 3:40 PM Y
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I'm in the mood for saying something i regret or saying something really mean about yan lin that i ALSO regret and probably will regret so i am not going to write anything about her.
Had a lot of weird dreams lately. It's disheartening. I think i won't get married. I think nobody loves me. Well. At least, sometimes in my dreams.
Maybe sometimes that is the way i truly feel.
I'm reeling crazy. Again...for the many times in my life I've truly never felt anything like this.
It's like Im...um..hmm. partialyl due to adolescence, i feel like flirt. seriously. it's horrible. totally shameful the way my mind reacts.
the heart is so corrupted.
idotic
silly
stupid
naive
reckless
feelings are deceiving.
please forgive me already.
i really hate myself now.
just think...and hope.
today was tiring.
sigh.
.Thursday, November 03, 2005 ' 12:06 PM Y
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I'm really happy now.
You have no idea why.
And I'm not going to tell you.
But a serious clue : I went back to hpps.
I nearly died of happiness after i went back home.
Nothing can go wrong today!!
Except for several things
1. The part time maid is really pissing off. I mean really. Mum 's in a bad mood and her appetite got killed.
2. I was heading to tom's house in the morn and guess what? When i nearly reached there i realized : oops. I forgot the basketball. Now how would tom react if he found out i forgot the basketball?
So naturally i head back to my house to pick it up, and head back. Sigh. tiring. dying of exhaustion.
3. I did something really stupid which i shouldn't have done. I should really keep a tighter check on my emotions.
4. Ms ang BLOCKED me ( on msn)!!!!!!!! Ok. I think she hates me. Good thing i still have my other account to find out these kinda stuff. But at this pace i just might forget about her next year. Except how will i do well in A math and Physics if i don't like it? Sigh.
5. I have no idea what to tell my mum about the class outing. Ask her too early and she might cancel if she's in a bad mood, ask her too late and....well. it's too late. hehheh.
So that's it right? Tom's b'day is coming up. hopefully nothing weird will turn up and cancel my plans.
Sayonara!
I'm still very happy.