.Friday, April 29, 2005 ' 9:30 AM Y
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I must be crazy. Out of my MIND by this point of time..I'm just so unhappy/
Whew.Grounded for quite some time....but then got exams so i suppose it was gd for me. lets see....
Um...yes. I haven't linked or done anything to anyone so generally i've been a gd boy. Yea right.
I'm just going to skip the previous should have been there posts since I'm feeling very confidential these days. Perhaps after i die or something.
Aww....today was last day ms tan, ms ang and mr tay were teaching. There goes lit., geog. and physics. i won't deny I'm a little sad. I got a lot of regrets u know. Like not having passed up stuff on time. I think I got into more trouble then practically anyone in physics. Well...maybe if yile, johan, jerome and some other idiots were taken out. I just wish i had been a little more sincere.
Stupid marcus and subhas. Now everyone knows my secret. I think ms ang does too already. Now i am sad cuz i didn't say anything to her. :(
Maybe I'm just too young to feel emotions? No matter how heartbreaking anything is, you just have to remain very...cold. I guess i'm not the same person anymore.
It's lonely now. I'm not exactly attached, and it would be risky to be. But I would like to tell someone " I love you."
Why am I thinking up all these? I am just very sad.
Aww.
.Sunday, April 17, 2005 ' 11:38 AM Y
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Phew. I'll keep yesterday's entry in my private journal....cuz i'm a little too lazy to type it down now.
So today was marcus b'day! Yay! Well, at least his b'day party anyway.
So I played with his captain...( well, he liked to be known as captain anyway, I still dunno his real name...!!) and won 7-3. But he was really tougher than i thought he would be. 178cm height and better than marcus!! Wah seh. So at least i have something to brag bt. i beat subhas 7-3 also. :)
anyway, when kenny and cynthia came with shaq and Lilin the crowd went wild, cuz...well hey, there aren't many couples at that party. And then samantha and wei en showed up. At first nobody knew that samantha was there. And then after marcus came back everyone found out. Then they left to pick up si min.( Bryan's gf*)
When samantha came back i\the crowd went berserk, and she probab;y blushed immediately. Marcus laughed but i'm pretty sure he was trying not to blush too.
We threw the circular pillows around like boomerangs and it was quite fun, but i really made a fool out of myself. Ah well.
But it was fun! T=hen we played bball for a longgg time..and james, peng xiang's fren and i won like crazy. eVen against shaq (though I am very confident he was giving us chance but winning is winning, and it felt so great to win!! )
As for romance at this party, I'm not sure which was more mushy....cynthia hugging kenny for all kingdom come (sheesh!) or shaq and Lilin french kissing 5 or 6 times. Length of time vs severity of intimacy....I'm not sure which is WORSE.
French kissing is very um...intimate. It makes one have evil desires. I should not have been watching them.
Anyway, I just HAD TO ANSWER a question on Ms ang ( stupid subhas....by now everyone knows....crap) about..well.....nvm.
Oh.I'm still a little traumatized by that..so I'm no going to say anymore.
Ta.
.Thursday, April 14, 2005 ' 11:32 AM Y
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Phew. Today's performance was a disaster.for me. I refused to wear that vest thing as the taxi driver cuz it makes me look like a girl. Sheesh. Guys don't use long sleeves.
Oh...cynthia lost her cool. I mean it. Sorry cynthia, but seriously, u scared the life out of me.
Sir aaron actually went a bit too far thoughz, giving kenny onli a small role. I wonder how the others reacted to what happened between the two of them..if cynthia quits then we might be goners if we can't find a replacement in time. Hmm. Maybe? I hope nicole's ok from the shock of being accused.
Which reminds me...I was the only boy at rehearsal today! (apart from sir aaron ) Becuz all the guys got ncc! Ahhhh!!
But then it wasn't so bad. :) I guess getting to know new ppl through the performing is quite fun. It's realli nice to work with them, an effort where we all pitch in together for the sense of sucess.
I wonder why aaron is hosting our play though. Is he getting paid or something?
Played bball a lot today...am a bit tired..arrgh.
I didn't speak much to Li lin today, so the premonition didn't come true. Phew. Bt then there was a horrible desire to tell her, but i was ab;e to keep my mouth shut.
She looked real hot today though. And no, I do not have a crush on her. I'm sure everyone reading this understands the meaning of compliment.
In actual fact, she looked like
her for a moment there...but then again I'm letting my imagination go wild.
I got a free mamee packet from
Lily ( girl in the play...I have no idea what her real name is ) and yay! I got enough for LUNCH.....Especially when I only brought $o.45..so I was flat borke. I didn;t knwo they sell mamee in the canteen! Well, at least I know what to eat for lunch next time I can't afford KFC. :)
Want to sleep already.....but then got geo test tomorrow!!! OH yarh. I sure fail today's math and chinese test. And I had a horrible dream that I failed the physics test!! Ah well. Can only hope for the best.
Got homework tonite anyway. Lolx.
Nite.
.Wednesday, April 13, 2005 ' 12:45 PM Y
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I don't feel well today...i think i might have fever...though will try to recover by myself.
Tomorrow got tests and the day after.....in all have geography test on thursday, chinese test, math test and english test on wednesday.
Can''t study....I'm falling asleep within seconds.....
I guess some people just have to give up......
She's sick also i think......it's something to do with the incidents on friday......
Why now? WHy do i feel like this both physically and emotionally? Am i that weak....
Might not go to sch tomorrow......I'm just too tired.
Arrgh...Crap.
.Monday, April 11, 2005 ' 5:50 PM Y
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can't stand it.....
sorri steph.not telling anything....yet.
Aww...why veryone so angry today? First cynthis, then marcus, then peng xiang, then apparently got big fight cuz of her.
Aww...sad day....
Bored.....
.Sunday, April 10, 2005 ' 11:02 AM Y
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COmpleted the sonic heroes team sonic, dark and rose already. Chaotix so borin. Wahhh.
At least got the this machine theme song now. Yayz.
Anyway, this mornin tried to study a bit but was bored of studying physics for so long so after a while watched tv for veri long time. Hehheh.
Monday if rehearsal is cancelled ( they said it might ) then I will go visit my mentor and seek her counsel. And try to get her email adress so i can set up appointment.
Today wanted to go to tom's house with the trio to play bball....then wai keat still not in and after some long steamboat lunch in the end tom cannot go. SO left wif gd ol' wheeeeee.
Played for a while.....
after thatt math tuition/ BORING.
hopefully tonite can do something.
.Saturday, April 09, 2005 ' 1:33 PM Y
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So sweet.....
Went to tiong bahru plaza for lunch at kfc with guess who?
hahaahahahahahzax.
I wonder why this kinda thing doesn't happen so often.
I will write this in my private diary, but not here just in case marcus kills me.
Although it was so sweeeettt!!!!!
Ok..nvm.
James, Marcus, Bryan and I spent nearly 1/2 hr to find a stupid bball court which actually had a hoop. Sheesh. But it was fun though. We played horse and gave it up after a while, bought water, played 1 on 1's....how did marcus lose to james 7nil!! Gahahahaha. This only proves i am better . WAHAHAHA.
No more braggin.
Is angi realli only comin at end of year? Sad.
.Friday, April 08, 2005 ' 11:08 AM Y
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I LOVE ACTING!! At least on stage anyway. I let all my troubles and expressions out..and childishness and the freedom of it all is SOOO GLORIOUS!!! Yea HAH!
I think today I was too shy but nvm..I'll still have to think of something.
I realli can't stp thinking abt her. Crap.
Anyway...I think it's my time to have fun. Maybe it's a little crazy, but i'm going to take a risk anwy....cuz I love it! I don wanna be me. So there! At least for a short while.until the performance, I'll be having FUNN!!!!
Yea.
Nite.
Noothing to say. Not even confidential.
.Wednesday, April 06, 2005 ' 10:46 AM Y
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I CAME in first for the 2.4 km run!! hahahahaha. I won. GAHAAHAHA.
Anyway, math was still prettyborin, but maybe it's better that way cuz there was no homework.
English is still fun.
Bio sucks. The bitch postponed the test, and I'm still not studying for it.
I realli so confused bt her.
Awwww.
Im a little emotionally destroyed to alk right now.
. ' 9:37 AM Y
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A while ago...less than 6 months....i was telling palmer that his love for pam was not sincere. In other words that he may not be really serious.
I look back on what I said and now reconsider. Is it possible that love could have blinded him from using his common sense not to declare his love for pam in front of everyone so as not to embarass her? Perhaps?
Fat hope maybe. But now I think that she should at least give him credit for saying he loves her.
I wish I could have told junice that. I never said it out loud and clear or declared it openly. It's sad to regret.
I wonder....maybe.......
Talk later.
.Tuesday, April 05, 2005 ' 12:55 PM Y
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Ok. Got my targets right at last.
I need high scores for......
1. Math
2. Lit.
3.English
4. Physics. And this is HARD. But maybe she is worth it.
5. Home ec. Seriosuly. But at most...well?
6. Um. Last one was forgot already. NOt chinese. Will try history...IF i get higher in it than geo.
Yay. Got that clear.
Today was very frustrating. Started off with PW, turns out that the stupid email page wouldn't load until we staarted it on another com ,and by that time already wasted half an hour. Than when we were happy, for no reason the email wouldn't LOAD, so we didn't do ANYTHING today. And just then jun jie irritated me, and I was 100% tempted to kill him. Sheesh. Insensitive ppl....
Then physics was quite..um...scary. I dunno. Ms ang..well..dunno why she shouted at jerome for copying. Hehe. I didn't know she was that strict.
Why is ms ang ms chong's fren?! WHY?! WHY?! Anyway I REFUSE to study for my bio test, so too bad.
Oh. It's a bit late in the nite, so will continue tomorrow. Except got 2.4 tomorrow. If I don come in first it would be disgraceful. YEa.
Wahaha.
.Monday, April 04, 2005 ' 8:48 AM Y
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Weird dream.
IT seemed to be a couple of flashbacks back to kindergarten. Those that I don't recall for some reason.
COnfidential. Although a lot of things are recently.
I don't want to elaborate. Some memories are best left forgotten.
I finally got my mind straight. I DO'N'T have a crush on Xi Min. Yayz. that takes off something from my mind.
I think she's decent and all, so she seems more like a sister recently. I dunno. Oh wellz.
At least my head on back on straight.
I need to know how to get rid of my password and install music. Anyone can help me?
And btw, help tom too.
Hehheh.
Nothing to say.
LOlx.
.Sunday, April 03, 2005 ' 1:17 AM Y
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Whew.
I woke up cuz it was soooo cold...wind blowing in my face.
Now the time is 8.10. Still no one is online cept' varun. Borin.
I had a dream yesterday. Just remembered I still DOn't KNOW who told who bt my attempted suicide.
Which reminds me. Why did I tell ms chan bt my suicide?
*yawns* This mornin look like is going to rain all day like that. But if I can swing it, then after making tons of notes for my physics test, home econs. test and maybe...MAYBE.....for bio, I'll go bball.
Actually if i do crappy for bio I don realli care.
I think my mind is corrupt again. IT's that kind of thing.
GIrls are just distractions. Riorty is important.
Easy enough?
OH yarh. Got homework for all 3 subjects mentioned earlier...can ANYBODY help me?! Sighz. I'm just too tired and lazy to do this by myself.
Writing.....oh yarh. Mr Tay Yong lai won a eacher's day award...after he joined last year......AND became hod. How the HECK?! did that happen?! PPOwer sia.
Which reminds me. If I don't get out of new town soon, I won't have a future.
Cuz by then I'll be fighting for my life.
.Saturday, April 02, 2005 ' 10:48 AM Y
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I talked to ms chan earlier today abt my problems....and some bits abt my past.......
She's a bit like Mrs leong, i suppose. At least someone's like mrs leong. PHew.
I checked the yearbook for who I was looking for. She only joined later than the photos were takne. I wonder how she became form teacher this year.
Anyhow, Russell might be going to nanhua cuz of tabletennis. That means if I do extremely well, I'll have a chance.
To beat nanhua.
30 points.
I have to win this for my self.
My future.
Slacking of studying for my mid yr tests again. Hehheh.
Nothin to say. These days are just too confidential.
Wonder how come so many ppl hate jun?
.Friday, April 01, 2005 ' 1:10 PM Y
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A shadow of myself: Just who am I?
Scanned horizons. A tragic mystery?
You could've left me here,
Sealed inside the pod.
No one would ever know,The Chaos Control -Control-...
My true identity?
The power that is me!
We all danced in fire,
Trapped in this machine.
Don't know how long we've waited,
As the Eggman's watching.
We all danced in fire,
Looking through the screen.
Don't know how long we've waited
,As the Eggman watches.
With Rouge in the fight, electric vibes.
Change surroundings....
A jewel in history.
A treasure disappears,As she goes.
Miss her as we look away,And no one knows.
This power is a key.This power changes me!(chorus)
The power lives in me.....The power that is me!
:)
. ' 11:37 AM Y
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I finally got bballl shoes. Hmm. Now I can act professional.
IF new town becomes at least south zone champoin, I will try to get a transfer to nan hua. I also probably need at least 10 points for exams. Tough.
TOnight, if I can swing it, I'll go bball. It's time to hone my skills.
After the competition. I'll be studying very hard. Soz I probably won't be online. Sad.
I still have no plan or april fool's joke on ms chong tomorrow.
I got counselling session. SOrt of? MAybe? Dunno how to say.
Do I really look that troubled?
Oh wellz.
Nothing to say. Anything else is private.
Nite.