Miss ang was so sweet today. I wrote an apology to hher abt my crappy drawing cuz i suck at drawing and then she said it's the attempt that counts. Even got smiley face. She smiled at me today as i was lookin at the paper. So hard not to blush.
Mr Lim was very casual and relaxed durin pastoral care. Which is usually nice but quite irritatin. Why can't he be like that durin MATH?! Wah lao. Sheesh man. But I guess he's ok overall.
At the current moment I am tryin to think wad to say. Was playing too much grand theft auto and now i forgot what I wanted to blog. :(
Ok..later.

Anyone watched tv last night? There was a 10 yr old boy on the news who died of dengue fever. Kinda sad..I hope he went to heaven. I'm sure some of you know bt my dengue fever experience. Will tok bt it later.
Not very much stuff was on durin C.G today cept reuben keeps thinking that I like Xi Min emotionally which is quite untrue, though it remains to be seen. She is older than me ok. And bryan irritated me the other day. Chances of me walloping them the next time I see them is 99%.
[ Sports day! Yea hah! 6c was the favourites to get 2nd or 3rd after we blaazed through the sort of prelim thing. Today should be a pushover.
But our race was such a long wait...i could hardly stand it. We were lying out near the field waiting for our race in the hot sun. Bt half an hr I think. It was then a sudden vibration and coldness..a thang of weakness and lack of strength seeped in. The first part was trying to stay awake...
Our race started, and becuz my legs had become m=numb and weak we came in 4th. Hopeless. Watching the other races gave me energy to concentrate as well as playing games with ida while the teachers were not looking. When we went home, all seemed well, until I got on the school bus.....
When I reached home, I told Mum i was ttired and needed to sleep. I had to take a shower first. The heat of the shower made me drowsy and I nearly collapased. I did 5 counts of 4 jumping jacks and finished my shower. Awake again.
But no more than 1/2 hr later I felt thangs of weakness agaain. I fell asleep the moment I hit the bed...
I woke up. 7.30. I had been sleeping for 61/2 hrs!! And still I felt drowsy. trying to get up took me 20 min. And itches started running down my body...
The next morning i could not move. Nearly immune. As in seriously, I strugled to walk. I collapsed. Then heat and pains started to inflict. It was just the beginning of dengue fever.........which kept me absent for a week during the prelim exams...]
Some blood tests were taken, there was a high lack of blood and i was very frail. I could not taste any chicken rice unless it was deep fried. The only burger i could take was Mc spicy double. Food was hardly consumed. I ate half a slice of bread as breakfast and lunch as i could eat no more after that. There was constant medication, nights where my parents would wake up to give the medicine, even my dad, which i was quite impressed by since he usually doesn't. I suffered terribly for 1 week and always wondered if I was going to die...but hope still reigned.
I guess the experience has been painful but it was learning too. I understand that people really care for you when you go through hard times, and the ppl you think don't care actually care for you more than you ever knew. I guess they understand it could have been worse.
Later, the doctor told me it was a C type dengue fever which is divided into the different sections etcetc. C type is usually not so severe but mine was one of the highest cases of the C type. But i didn't have to go to a hospital. Praise the Lord.
Speaking of which, i found out Xi Min hasn't told her parents she has accepted Christ. i hope they will understand. Ah heck...that's it.
Bye!

At last! Can anyone tell me how many hours later b4 i FINALLY get to write again. And the words are too big. Wadeva it is though.
[As the days passed i grew to have more feelings for her. It seemed that there was an uncontrollable desire to simply be able to talk to her. Even so, at the same time i was getting worried. Not so much on Psle, but on impressionism. And besides, I had to be able to get more opportunities to try and talk to her. So I took a very big risk.]
Do you guys remember that performance for teacher's day the " reach out for the stars 'etcetc? Well for some reason Amanda and that pr5 deputy head prefect who she doesn't like were in charge of it as well as um..can't remember. Sighz.
["Don't you think they ought to try go on Singapore Idol?" asked Amanda loudly on stage. Pleez man. She was reading from a script. Wonder whose great idea THAT was. Raja was managing things backstage but i was not doing my duty there b4 my performance at all. A little...distracted. When she came back she hit the Pr5 d.prefect again. I wonder how she didn't show her temper on stage. What an actress.
A day or two after the show, she was sitting down at th basketball court area doing some work while i thrashed Yile, tom and raj. When she went off,for some reason i followed her.
Here's the embarasiing part. Or another embarassing part. I asked for her EMAIL! And she actually added me! Wonder how miracles come true.
xx_graffiti_xx. Looks like I finally had it.
Literally. A day after trying to treat jun to a drink and failing miserably,which was a wednesday, cuz i remember chinesee last supplymentry, she walked past me with miss nice (that time i hadn;t started talking to her yet). Strange. It seemed that I knew it was going to happen.
Bryan of all ppl lent me his badminton racket 5 min later to play with the guys. I was totally engrossed in it that i did not notice her standing by. By the time I noticed her, she ha started....running off. I gave chase. I don't know why either. ]
Enough. It's getting too embarassing already. All I know is that I'm insignificant in her life. So what? Lile I said b4, no girl is worth it. Not up to that extent. Guess apologizing and pleading doesn't do well for her. She's not the forgiving type.
In a way I regret not being able to at least be Amanda's friend. She has already blocked me, and after i finally got my answer, which Miss nice so helpfully provided, I left her alone, deleting her contact. Guess by this year she will be gone from my mind...
Although she was responsible for me getting hooked on maroon 5 . *Grin boldly*
Peh. I guess I'm done. Farewell.
* Especially to Amanda Tan...if you cchoose to get here*

Phew! Just tot I'll tell you guys that the time of the message is EXACT. I cannot believe I am actually working! Cept that I am on a break now *yay* . i think I've found some um..motivation to work harder.
Firstly, weekend is more valued than anything else becuz sch is so tough and also can play ps2 Grand theft auto. Also can go to see the guys at bb in henry park. BAsically,, must be free on sat.
Secondly, must attend C.G every sunday! Mustmustmust. Very fun wan ok. Cept in order to attend Mum say must work hard. Although not until this extent, it still makes sense.
LAstly, history on World war 1 is very intrigueing. At least, apparently. I nd to try and excel in math, eng, lit. , lower. sec.sc., history (try only...this one very troublesome to learn) so that I can be top of standard which can make up for my lousy b.science, chineses and geo. Hope only. Pray also.
I did say I was going to write on Amanda tan rite? PAnda to be exact. I don't think I will insult her. Just give a few details, here and there perhaps?
[Science. I can't stand science. Since it ended early I was extremely grateful. I headed to the bball court wif none of my classmates. So sad.
First guy i saw on the court was weirong. He was attempting layups and failings miserably. Some geps were there like um...can't remember. Whoops. Cuz I do remember...
A GIRL playing basketball??! Wonder who she is. So I tried to appear a little more nicer and polite than usual, which I think could have already freaked her out then, but it didn;'t seem that way. At first. I wanted to test her but i was in a pretty gd mood for time to play bball and decided not to be extremely mean. I only thrashed weirong 20-10. WAHAHAHAHA!!!]
Ok. Here is the seriously embarassing part cuz the truth was, I found her quite attractive. Seriously. Amanda Tan. Okay? No laughing on my tag-board. Eh? Something is wrong wif the writing thing. It's slunting. I'll fix it later.
[ So anyway, I tried to talk to her more often. Very easy to be nice to, very easy...
gtg....
exposed already.
Bye!!

Literature. We were supposed to put on a short play on 'Theft in a shopping mall" At least..Kenny, Justin, Clifford and I. So Justin was self sacrificial to be the lady whose handbag was gonna get robbed. WAHAHAHAHA!! Evryone laughed at the beginning. Poor guy. So after justin got 'robbed' by Kenny,Clifford and I, playing policemen, nabbed him. And then everyone laughed at Kenny cuz he was pretending to yell curses at 'the lady'.
Even so, they laughed most when i had to try and call Justin 'miss or 'ma am' while returning the handbag. Even Mr Teh was impressed and laughing like crazy. We had to repeat the scene bt 5 times cuz i waas laughing too much. Mr Teh was so impressed he asked us to continue the skit to a court room case. So i played the policeman again, Justin as the victim, Clifford as the judge, Kenny as the...thief. Well, still the thief. Ok, anyway the teacher was impressed cuz kenny had admitted to being guilty (how many thieves do that?!) and Justin was sentenced to jail for making too much noise in the court. so it went out pretty gd.
Then our bitchy lousy b.science teacher was tokin bt the heart and then she asked who has given his/her heart to someone and then that idiot yile keeps pointing to me. Then she says you'd better take you heart back. Is she right?
Peggy and linette ( lynette) were quite nice to me today. I dunno why. But cynthia gave me a punch for tripping her up. Her loss.
Which reminds me...um..I gtg.
Bye

Today i was planning to write on Amanda Tan since I already sent her a final note by M.I. Just thought I would point out some details..but I changed my mind.
[Wednesdays are supposedto seriously suck. But I guess today was different cuz of several other things. After sch ended off I played a 1 on 1 with jerome and beat him 5 nil. Then we played for sometime. Wei en was watching us play. I'm still not sure whether she likes subhas or not. They claim they are just frens. Subhas has never been this sucessful.
Weplayed *Monkey* with the girls, including Linette who is probably the only cute girl in my class. although Peggy is a nice gal though. I can hardly say the same for cynthia.
Then bball practice started with the usual tiring and boring routines. Dad was able to come early to pick me up so he convieniently came at the time when he saw me fail hopelessly at the free throws. Oh well. I was seriously blurr not to notice him. In fact, I was really blurr the whole day!
Because i was chosen for a starting match ( 1st match since practice started..1sy yr vs 2nd yr) and didn't realize it i nearly forgot to get into position. So after subhas lost at the jump ball and they scored we started our attack.
Benjamin, Subhas and i tried to be the offfensive players but our other team mates were pretty selfish. So in the end i stole our own ball and did a hook shot whic h i nearly got fouled.
Then in the next part of the match I REALLY got fuled. The guy behind me trpped me up while i was fast-breaking and my head made contact with the floor. I was promptly taken off the court.
Soon we were losing 24 to 12 in the last 4 min by the time I was put in. Then suddenly shaq and bryan (assistant coaches who are seniors ad are not in the bball team...probably cuz they are too gd) said last ball will be the winner. To put it simply who scores the last basket that side will be the winner( but i didn;t know that cuz i wasn't paying attention).
So everyone was fighting for the ball and 5.30 was long gone. At around 5.41 the first years had the ball after catching a rebound...so i got the ball.
I decided to go solo and charged through the defensive lines. One guy was crossed overed, another was fooled by change of pace and the last guy was too slow. I scored.
So the crowd went wild and shaq and bryan who had been making bets on the winner were yelling like crazy. I only realzed much later that I had become the hero of the game. Wahahahahahahaha! Yea Man!
One downfall....now my head hurts slightly and my legs are all cramped.

Peh. Today morning going down the lift bump into HARUMI. Wad a lousy way to start the day. And then nearly late for sch. Miserable mornin sia. And then the discipline master mr lau go tok bt yesterday who is smoking at where and then who s blocking the bus 196 entrance at queensway...etcetc. Soooo long so boring. As if all of us do like that. Crappy loser.
P.E not so bad cept the warm up exercises becuz high jump I look fantastic after jumping with frostbury flop and I excel 1.4 m thingy so all my classmates cheer. WAHAHAHAA.
The after geography recess got nothin t do, so borin....excep tok bt match wif queenstown tomorrow. i not nervous wan. Should be a piece of cake.
Then after class Haumi tells me bt that stupid madeline yeo from my class (not my neighbour) say i like her just becuz I give her my sweet from the cme project build some stupid skyscraper. Big deal. Crazy female...I since when eva like her?! One time in pri sch she running down stairs she push me aside and say get lost and then i run after her and push her aside saying get lost also. Hehe...
Then anyway Math Mr Lim not happybt the file thing so he say a lot of boring things. Then the math thing so dead easy to do. BORING!!
Chinese spelling veri hard wan. So annoying..and then rest of lesson so boring.
Will be writing more on a not so boring day later...
Bye

Sorry had to leave so fassstttt...
[ I scored a driving lay up b4 i waas crushed by shawn, jeshua and palmer becuz they were all trying to stop me from doin the shot. I was quite upset. At least half time over, and the score was 6-nil! Yea man!
As the game continued i was driven to take off my glasses. Joeshua scored 2 points, waikeat 2, shawn 4. They had caught up! I n fact we were overtaken...
I was furious. I dribbled down the court using scythe and cut passed everyone cept palmer. Joeshua behind me. Palmer in front. Ole! I threw the ball at palmer's side and cut passed him, while joeshua crashed into him. Finished it with STYLE. wahahahahaha.....
The game was over 10 to 8. I had finished it eventually. Guess that was the end of it. The 6as were disgraced and the whole crowd was nearly able to carry me up. Great day in my life....]
{ The next day the geps scored a very strong thrashing over the 6d class. They looked quite exhausted..but unfortunately the 6f class was still competing in the finals of soccer. So we could only challenge the gep classes...
It wasn't fair to them, and not because the 6c class had me. 1st, wei rong and joshua weren't playing. Second, they had just come from an exhausting match, and third, they had jing en.( wahaha...just jk)
After half time we were leading 10-2. Subhas scored 6 and i scored 4. He looked very smug cuz he had beat me in scoring points for the first half. I had been fouled 6 times already....
Jing en got sent off. Seriously. I can't believe it! Aww man....
Without him i scored another 12 points and promptly wiped off the smile on subhas' face. The geps weren't happy and amanda tan even called me a bastard. Ah well.
Final score :22 to 2. Sorry geps.}
I seriously hope miss nice is not going to get to read this. Shouldn't be bragging..I know. Just remember your classmates assaulted me. Literally.
I missed the last match while i was in sarawak. I already told you guys bt sarawak. All I know bt the final match is that Subhas scored 9 points, dave 4, tom 6. 19-4. Pretty good thrashing despite my absence. Oh, also, it appears that they sang *this love* by maroon 5 all day in class as celebration, and mrs ong even sang with them once. ah well. Guess in this kind of situations, you CAN win' em all.
smile* k then.
Bye!

I am sooo dead. I forgot to confirm that my bro picked up my dad's phone call again. Gonna be banned for another week.
I want to tell you all abt the inter class bball! It relates to quite alot of stuff happenin today (which I'm not going to say, so..) so..here goes.
[ The morning again. Today is the day. At last the assembly was over and the sun is blazing. Perfect or a match against 6c's main rivals, 6a. Jun asn't watching, thank goodness. Gep class wasnt there either....
I stepped onto the court and the crowd goes wild! wahahaha. At least those rom 6d, 6e, f,g ,b and of course c. Obviously not the a's. In fact, they boo louder than all the rest combined.
Joeshua steps onto the court with shawn and the crowd from 6a is louder. So unfair. Just becuz they r known to 6a as the top sch team members. Big deal. Luckily Justin didn't come or i'll have no spotlight at all.snigger*
I needed to make sure I looked extremely flashy in this match even though Jun wasn't watching, knowing that a lot of ppl wanted me to win this match. So, I decided to show off by jumping ball. It was easy enough. Game start!
Subhas got the ball from my pass! And he scored! Amazing. I hardly see him NOT do a lay-up. And so fast in the game too. Excellent start.
We got the ball from shawn's miss and playing lightly for a while, I passed to Tom. The 6a's were mobolized now that we had scored. So how to get it in the inside? Suddenly tom stopped dribbling, much to the amazement of everyone....and TOOK the shot from near-3 pointer range. Score! Wahahahaha. You guys should have seen Joeshua curse. Of course Waikeat did not.
gtgbb

Seriously, today at church I was ACTUALLY listening to the sermon. Cuz it was tokin bt love. You guys, check1 corinthians chap 13! It totally sounds very intrigueing. At least to me. I guess i know a bit bt it after all. A lot bt love there...
' And now these 3 remain...faith, hope and love. BUt the greatest of these is love'
Which would remind me again of jun. Cept somethin more serious than usual...what if i had never met her? That I had never saw her that day at evangelical kindergarten...that i wasn't chosen by Aunty June to show her around..or everything else generally. I guess i am going to proclaim something very serious right now.
I am no longer in love with Junice Lim. I have typed it as clearly as possible...so that you all will understand. Being obsessed with Junice was something I know i promised myself before : I would die for her. That was wrong. I can't give my life to anyone becuz i only have 1 life to give. If anything happens I would not be able to keep that promise..
Besides..no one seriously likes the obsession over Jun. And it mustn't last anymore becuz Life has to go on. For ppl. For you. And me. I guess everyone lets go of their feelings someday. I want today to be it.
I'm not so worried bt jun. As long as she's happy, which she probably is anyway without me interfering and spying, i guess i can ensure everything. Besides, maybe I might even meet ome other gal that I would seriously like!
Also bout Amanda Tan..I am no longer trying to get my answer. I guess miss nice helped you answer it. and..i guess it's ends this way.
Speaking of Miss nice..i ound out why i have constant arguments wif her..it's cuz I'm infuriated and envious of er intelligence and her always right kind of way...cuz she is. Cept I wish she wouldn't appear that way all the time. Apart from that, she's still Miss nice.
Poor Xi Min! She always has to go from C.G to *ugh* tuition! I can relate to having to replace play with work. So sadd....I pray that she will be able to switch her tuition to another day. As for Hiro the anti-social...i would have killed him if it wasn't for the fact he is such a great bball player.
Ppl..take care. Be safe, work hard and live your life to the fullest. Forever.
God bless. Goodbye.

Today wanted to meet up with the trio at sch....and got throughly disappointed.
First. Adrian conveniently decided NOT to show up. And probab;y..I think lately he doesn't seem to like me or something. Or at least I'm not his best friend anymore. Or maybe he never saw it that way. It's kinda upsetting.
Next. I met waikeat at pizza hut only to find out that he could not make it today. totally worse. Then tom and A LOT of the 6c guys showed up. WAHHH!!!! I tot it was only goin to be the trio. But spending time with them was enjoyable anyway..later that is.
Lastly, sch was CLOSED! Why>! It's open on somedays, its not on others. Sooo infuriating.
So i hung out wif the guys, played some ps2 etc etc. We talked a bit abt old times. It's kinda upsetting to know that we've all gone our separate ways.
Headed to dave and daniel tai's house today after the meeting. We lost to a bunch of cocky sec 2's who don't even speak chinese. I mean...it's sooo humiliating. You guys should know how much i value my bball skill.
And then got one BIG FAT BLOKE that we played wif. If it wasn't for him we would not have lost in the first place. Just imagine a court wif a seriously short hoop which I can slam dunk. And we lost 14-24.
Now. With my usual brilliant play I made 2 blocks, 10 points and even an extra block against the fat guy.
On the other hand, he made 18 points and 6 blocks. Wonder if it's too late for me to turn fatter?
Ah heck. I like my height and muscle the way it is, though i hate my life. Heck. You can't win em all.
See ya!

Tomorrow I'm heading back again. Don't tell me it's a public holiday..I already know that.
I impressed Subhas' crush yesterday. She was staying back for fun and I decided to play it cool.
Her friend bryan ,who is also pretty good at basketball, challenged me to a 1 on 1. Naturally I won. So obviously, since bryan is from her class she was obviously slightly shocked. Then I impressed her with my figure eight, cloud of shadow and my ultra scythe (with jerome acting as defender). HAHAH! Cept that I'm not very sure WHY she was impressed. After all, I was then better player, but subhas was more flashy.
Be back later.
Bye

Yesterday i talked to miss nice. I don't know why I felt so unstable or hurt after talking to her...it's just that something seemed to change any feelings I had then. I realli hope I'm not losing control again. I also send my apologies to wei rong and I certainly hope he is not personally offended( i'm not gonna tell u guys why). Close enough. The sec 4 gangs will probably be picking a fight again wif us so I'll be on my heels for now. If anyone is getting bullied in sch (apart from bryan, which he probably will be anyway) then maybe i can help. I will be trying my best to go back most likely on Thursday or last resort friday (but unlikely, cuz I might be meeting up wif the trio) cuz it seems more teachers will be there this time. If anyone can meet me there it'll be fine. Sometimes I wonder if any period in pri sch has made me more sensitive t ppl's feeling...and also understanding my own. I 've realized that lately it seems there is something I regret for every test i do on ppl...and a little bit of shame too. I mean...when someone tries to draw out facts or truth abt somebody there is alwyys a downside. a sort of ....something tugging at your heart and letting it hit you...you could have hurt this person's feelings if he/she knew...and lately....it seems there's been a lot of guilt. It's something everyone shld think abt b4 taking action. I mean my test on (all of u knoe who), just cuz it was sucessful doesn't mean it made me happy. I mean, sure, to find out the truth but then again, sometimes the truth can hit you harder than a lie. Anyway, for my last note I just hope u guys understand me, and all the best to your schools. God bless! Luke Ho

Place: Somewhere in Krabi (cybercafe) Time: Very late date : a week or so after sarawak trip ["Michael" i typed. "Is amanda tan online?" He said yes, but if he added her she'll kill him. So much for mike's help. I talked to mike for awhile. " Michelle supports you" said mike. "she does?!" i typed. He added several ppl whom I didn't know online to our chat room. Very soon, an *angels_forgotten@hotmail.com* added me. I sighed. Wonder who this is... "Hern hern." she had said. "you don't know me." The heck i didn't know her! Pleezz man. Not very well of course but obviously a little bit. I cosidered the facts that i got from Mike. "She's whom i feel is my best fren cuz it seems that blablabla "some sort of mushy talk but serious. I think he realli likes her. At least i thought. At first. Originally I knew chua hernhern as one of those gep snobs from my spies, she dances, is very smart, etcetc. I realli wasn't interested in these facts. "Let's see how she's like then. Test number one." It was total failure. She was extremely put off and I had absolutely no idea what to do now. She kept saying i was a lameo and a freak. Sheesh. Spare me the facts, pleeezzz, i thought to myself. Casually asking her what was the diff. between 1st impression nd any impression at all, she said that "First impression is the MOST important!" i sighed and was slightly caught off guard by this remark. " And second impression also." I was getting quite upset and was seriously considering putting her into a new special* section in the msn page. I decided against it. She had too many smarts, was 50 marks better and had a lot of sources to find infomation from...for a girl. I presumed she underestimated me right then and then. But still, i needed to appeal to her somehow! She had plenty of info on Jun even most likely. So i chatted wth her some nonsense for a while when she was telling me how nice, fantastic, great she was, etcetc. I didn't mind...NO, actually i MINDED quite a lot actually. Then she was telling me abt netball.... Netball?! She PLAYS netball?! I asked her seriously. She told me she was captain of the sch team and how come I don't know. I fell off the chair and knocked Joel down too. Sigh. So in the end i had to try and bribe her somehow (at that time I had lack of self control) so treating her at any expense was not a problem. The problem, was that she was seriously freaked out. Especially after I said those expensive ice cream stores also can. I still think she thinks I'm nuts nowaday sometimes but it's ok. She is supposed to be fantastic, great and NICE after all. Hahax. No offense taken I hope. I'm just writing on my first encounter with her. Well..it seems I am quite done with my first encounter with Chua hern Hern. aka miss nice. I seriously don't mind calling her that. Especially since in someways, she is! Well....part 2 continues tomorrow. If you guys are interesteed to see whether she became a friend or enemy i guess you can always see how it turned ou, though I'm sure u noe already. As to Miss Nice, who might be reading this blog, I seriously apologize! K? I don't want to lose any frenships now. This is really not the time. Well...wish u guys the best in making new friends! Luke Ho Dedicated to the understanding of Miss Nice
So...back to my story Date: 23nd december... [obviously this was not working out. Not only am I not able to treat this girl but she simple doesn't FEEL like it. Pleez get real. And she complains that she's not tanned enough. That's worse. She needs a tan like i need to commit suicide and die. Wai keat even thought she was a flilippino. sheesh. Of course he's mistaken. But realli, she looks very rown. Except that she got brain and athletics to make up. Lolz. So unfair. I got nothing to make up for my freakiness and my lack of charm] So I was realli pissed of wif her that day. Although now e're on speaking terms, I can't exactly say I'm a close fren or anything like that. Maybe it's cuz I freak her out in real life. Can't blame her. Soo...after a week or so I got to her blog from michelle. It was quite ineresting but the song on the blog was sooooo sweet! Angels brought me here y guy sebastian. Truthfully, most of the time i drop by there, not to read wadeva she's written but to listen to da song. hehehe. Although I read it once in a while. Then from the links nd more links i got amanda tan's and jun's blog, which i am no longer interested in. It's kinda sad to leave all those memories behind but it realli was something else that i wanted, not to bother or disturb them. I just needed that.... Enough. I'm spposed to be talking abt miss nice. Exccept got prob...I have NO IDEA wad to say. Kinda sad. All I can say now is that she's ok as a fren, really nice in HER own way (haha..just jk!) seriously, she can be nice. I guess she reminds me of nat and miss ang. Though not as serious or understanding as they are... Bye!

So...back to my story Date: 23nd december... [obviously this was not working out. Not only am I not able to treat this girl but she simple doesn't FEEL like it. Pleez get real. And she complains that she's not tanned enough. That's worse. She needs a tan like i need to commit suicide and die. Wai keat even thought she was a flilippino. sheesh. Of course he's mistaken. But realli, she looks very rown. Except that she got brain and athletics to make up. Lolz. So unfair. I got nothing to make up for my freakiness and my lack of charm] So I was realli pissed of wif her that day. Although now e're on speaking terms, I can't exactly say I'm a close fren or anything like that. Maybe it's cuz I freak her out in real life. Can't blame her. Soo...after a week or so I got to her blog from michelle. It was quite ineresting but the song on the blog was sooooo sweet! Angels brought me here y guy sebastian. Truthfully, most of the time i drop by there, not to read wadeva she's written but to listen to da song. hehehe. Although I read it once in a while. Then from the links nd more links i got amanda tan's and jun's blog, which i am no longer interested in. It's kinda sad to leave all those memories behind but it realli was something else that i wanted, not to bother or disturb them. I just needed that.... Enough. I'm spposed to be talking abt miss nice. Exccept got prob...I have NO IDEA wad to say. Kinda sad. All I can say now is that she's ok as a fren, really nice in HER own way (haha..just jk!) seriously, she can be nice. I guess she reminds me of nat and miss ang. Though not as serious or understanding as they are... Bye!

Mrs tsung went up to us. Yelled at the 6a's for 5 min or so, and then led me to her room. She made the phone call. cept' that turns out she already called them earlier and she just wants me to hear their reaction. great. To my amazement they are not angry but they said they would talk to me bk home. Maybe one o these days I'll write on that. So afterwards...since Mrs tsung already knew bt jun, she was evidently unimpressed with why i should like her. She kept trying to point out that I had gone too far into trying ta love this girl and then I was telling her i already know but i don't care until finally she said, "Why don't you see how much other girls appreciate you and then maybe u will understand. So i accepted. Wad did i have to lose? Only a invitation to the 6a room? ah well..c how it truns out later. So...Mrs tsung took me to the girl's room which turns out was the wrong girl's room...consisting of Pamela, jenny and I can't remember the last one. Ok..not the point. So pam, since she was heading to the 6a room, Mrs tsung *invited* her to join us for a while. So Pam agreed(wad choice did she hhave anyway?) and we went to join...
Sorry had ta cut off so fast. Mum came bk. Let me get bk to where I last left off.... ([the girls. Apparently Mrs Tsung got rite room but wrong floor. So shiyu greeted us at the door (aka chili padi...heeheee). Welll....it's turns out I was getting a test soon. By HIM. Again. After i failed the last one he asked me in my dream whether I believed him now. I didn't. So I told him that I would want him to get me the 6a room by some miracle. I have tested God a lot of times. My faith is very weak..i fear I am not a capable christian but now all one ever needs is to have faith. If you do not believe in God at least have a religion. That's a recommeendation. Back to the point. We hung out with the girls in their room for a while...until Zachary called. He forgot the keys to our room! I felt like killing him but I realized I also in turn had forgotten to pass it to him. Sigh. So I went down to the 6a room....and was INVITED in! Which Mrs tsung was not happy abt. She looked quite upset when I entered. of course my conscience was bothering me. Jun was lying on the some sort of sofa. She looked extremely ..um...well....ok, no description. Too mushy. So I hid my face for staying in the room 5 min and watching tv along with the a's. Alter dropped by in my mind. He was yelling his head off. I sighed. Then I turned to Palmer. He was giving me the signal. Then turning to Jun. She was obviously not happy. "Last mssion for you Palmer..." I thought to myself. I whispered for him to hold them off. I coolly jumped off the sofa ( not jun's ok) and dashed to one of the bedrooms. Their attention was caught instantly. I made it to the room and locked the door. After sending a phone call to the girls I felt even worse. I knew that HE had planned this. At last I was facing facts. Jun...i could test her...to see if it would work but in the whole round she would never....... I got out of the room. " She isn't too happy." said palmer to me. "It is evident. I know what to do. My hapiness has and never will be my own until ..." I stopped. I gave a gdbye signal to Palmer and went out of the door. The a's stared. Even Jun. I had rejected a chance to be with her. So I hung out wif the 6c gals until 10.40 or so..and I wish Mrs tsung knew I had made the right decision. It was true....HE had got me in there..but he had a better plan for me. And soon my plan that was formed by him would come about to the final test and bet...to find my answer. I was content. I had finally gained self control.] So guys...day 4 is not realli important cept for buying the archery kit but otherise no. My parents already talked to me abt the jump but I have not promised not to do that again. Nor will i promise to any of you, unfortunately. Like i said...I do not fear death. Sometimes it is something I look forward to. Sometimes it is something I despise. Will I miss jun? The answer is evident. I hope you all have understood part of me now...and the finale of the sarawak trip....

Ok guys...continueing..... [Time: 4.15 a.m] I woke up with a start. Great. I haven't brushed my teeth yet and I'm sleeping in mr Tan's bedroom for protection. Puh-Leezeee man. So I tried to sneak out but I was caught nearly immediately. Rats. But as the morning grew later i was allowed to return to my original room. I was quite surprised to know now, how much my frens truly treasure me as a freind and that realli means something to me. I had only wished that my test had turned out that way. Eating at breakfast, I came to an inevitable conclusion. There was not enough time to test her while in sarawak. And i couldn't be caught wif her anyway. hey guys and gals! How'd u like the new blog pages...frankly i was quite impressed my self since I wasn't the one to do it. Although sayin bball is my life is highly exaggerated.A round o' applause to steph and amanda chia! Especially amanda for the new page at least. Let me get bk to the point. Which reminds me, if jun eva sees this blog..... [So...we left camp permai..( i will always remember this incident..but yet the incident to come would be far more in remembrance, although i doubt even miss nice *a.k.a chua hernhern* knows abt this yet.) and headed off to the villages, museums, etcetc. I tried shootin the blowdarts at the village and promptly failed. sigh... So after a long while we headed to the caves and looked around, walked quite some distance...though I was not realli impressed. When everyone came out all their shoes were muddy, includin mine. But this time ( since yesterday I did not have any tissue yesterday) i was prepared. So it took me the afternoon to give out tissue and even more after the jungle hike to see orang utans. Oh..a bit of info. If u like jun and she is in desperate need of a tissue,and U don't have one, borrow one from someone and tell her it was yours. Honesty is never the best policy. And seriously..ok forget it. Of course during the entire duration of today's trip I noticed Jun and palmer were eating gum like there was no tomorrow. I guess it was cuz tomorrow we had to head bk already. So here's a funny incident (to u guys at least) i tried to blow a bubble and had a higher chance of dying then from the suicide. I choked and nearly suffocated. i solemnly swear I will stick to polo and mentos. So at night after dinner 9 I went for my usual talk with god at meal times, but it was too crowded as everyone thought i would jump again. It didn't make sense to me. So we reached the hotel. We were dismissed.... The memorable part coming up soon!Ok...so here's what happened. I heard the 6a's were having a party again which I, of course, was NOT invited. Wahh!! I could not have endured knowing they were having a party (again! for the 3rd time!) so...i just...tried not to think abt it. I decided I would go to the girls' rooms later (6c girls guys, don't hink I'[m a pervert) but in the meantime I would hang around. Mrs tsung wanted to see me to call my parent's bt my jump, but I couldn't find her. So..I waited...waited.... I went to the 9th floor( 6a rooms) and stood there waiting. I watched as a half naked Ievan with a towel as well as Avinash and Palmer rushing to their rooms out of the 6a girl's room. i took this opportunity to scare them and act cool by posing under the light, as if i had been expecting them. HAHAHAHA!! U guys shoulda have seen their faces. I must admit I looked seriously gd. Well...compared to realli short shorts in sch. So...just when they ran bk o the girls rooms and were abt to lock the door...mrs tsung cam through the lift. Whoops! Busted! Both the 6a's and I. Ah heck..... Gotta finish off tomorrow! Bye!

Guess what/ I've changed my mind. I'm going to reveal everything...including my master plan and the result of the test. Which lands me up at where i am now. I might not be able to write this all today but probably tomorrow can! Not soo much on day 1 in sarawak...mostly day 2 but a bit of hints here and there bt day 1. {17 November :Time: 3.15 AHHH...CHOO! I woke in a sudden by a sneeze and a cold...promptly got hit by the lamp and fell back onto to the sofa. Great. I should realli have insisted on a bed yesterday. Getting up and scratching my hair I headed to the toilet to wash up. The flush woke up Justin in the next room. Then after I switched on the tv, the rest soon awoke 1 by 1. Time:3.45 a.m Everyone except stuart was watching the latenight..I mean early morning soccer game! YEA man! I only hoped that no one downstairs would complain. LOl. Time: 4.50 a.m Justin and i woke up stuart with a start. He sneezed and fell asleep. Oh well. 5.30a.m After Stuart finally got u, i realized I was starving. I shoulda have eaten more yesterday. Never mind hor. So justin and I went down to the breakfast place to see if it was open. Then realized cannot bring down card or else zachary and therest got to walk. Wahhhh!! So we walk down 15 storeys until 1st floor. Then justin realized he forgot his BREAKFAST COUPON. hahaha! So the poor guy had to walk up all the way and walk down again. Meanwhile I finished off my corn flakes b4 waiting for the rest. So after the rest came down i promptly exited. However I forgot to bring down my luggage so i ALSO have to walk up all da way again. sO frustrating. Lucky i hitched a lift ride wif the 6a guys and gals down stairs(no, jun was NOT there, she went to the breakfast place alreadi. Ha.). Then Mrs tsung and the teachers assembled all of us...etcetc blablabla........then we started the activity course at camp permai. Soooo damn fun. And I realli got to shine by scaling the wall myself. Hee hee. Funny part coming already. So after lunch we went to do rapelling. So after all my frens persuaded me I decide to act cool and rapel first. turns out it's a lot harder than it looks. sigh...... After crashing into the rocks twice I finally reach bottom. And then a lot of my frens and teachers cheer for me (YEA MAN!) . So after that i wait for the rest to come down. I remember vaguely avinash telling me how great he is scaling the wall while crashing while zachary scolding genevieve for knocking rocks on his shoulder. So after a while PALMER makes it down. And then jun...joeshua...etcetc. then after jenny chiang, last one is Pamela. and then eeryone coax palmer into yelling protection words and yelling to pam that she mustn't fall down cuz (i nd u) sheesh lor. And then he says..."don't fall down, i need u!" worse still...he says....wo ai ni! terrible and stupid and wayyyy too mushy. Becuz.... Firstly, Pam's going to be angry for embarassing her. Similarly Jun might be. why you think i don't say things like that openly?! Second, everyone's going to laugh. And if HE does..pam's going to kill him. Last, who's going to think he realli does anyway?! A lover doesn't love by embarassing his girlfren rite??? Guess I made my point. So after a long while she finally comes down and we head to the canteen...where we find the 6c girls waiting truimphantly since they beat us in the obstacle course AND rapelling. Sheesh. But they did win. Soo after i treat the guys ( MY frens at least) to drinks we rest and unpack in the cabin( why'd jun and the rest complain?! Haven't they ever gone real camping b4?! It's a LOT worse)then we relax for a while and share one o my big packets of chips. We hang around the canteen when the a's decide to play truth or dare black jack. I am forced to play it against my own will. So everytime i lose they keep asking questions on Jun and what I would do for her. I tell them the truth, unfortunately so becuz i hae never been afraid of the consequences. Such as...'would you borrow from loan sharks to buy jun somethin..." etcetcetc. Who's afraid of loan sharks?! Certainly not me. I do not fear death at anytime becuz death to me is merely the beginning of new life. Later..the 6a guys keep teasing me abt that. i get realli annoyed and already scolded by the teacher's prviously thnx to a certain person's frame...I take joeshua's and palmers dare. i don't usually believe in dares. Thnx to yulin and zi hao whom I OBVIOUSLY DO NOT appreciate but since they have told you so i might as well reveal. It's true. I tried for an attempted suicide. I am now a witness to how it feels like when you attempt suicide. First...all past regrets...painful memories come back to you when you think you are dying. I'm not sure for other suicidal ppl but for me, it was so different. Because right then, someone told me spiritually that it was not time for me to die yet. And at that moment,when i hit the ground, I had my plan. I had my FINAL M.I PLAN. It was time..... So the teacher's got me to my senses, (actually more like my shutdown but the teacher's still deserve credit) carted me to the hospital for a check up...etcetc....in the car driving back home i was compelled to tell Mrs tsung everything. Now SHE understood. With her help i would learn a new lesson abt to unfold...and finally put my final plan into phrase. Ahh...got tuition nowww!!! gtg. Lateeerr. bye!

As i continue... [WE headed to the caves. I wasn't exactly intrigued by the caves except for the rocks that looked liked human figures. Then we headed to several museums, cultural villages....etcetc. Of course, one o my observations is that jun and palmer were eating gum like there was no tomorrow. Maybe it was b cuz tomorrow we had to go bk to singapore. I nearly died of suffocation while trying to blow a bubble. Hey i LIKE competing wif jun ( cept that I' lost in everything but bball and physical...stuff) but blowing bubbles?! I couldn't even blow one. Palmer said I was pretty pathetic and not impressive. I think that was obvious. So anyway my bag spilit while we were in the store b4 goin bk to the hotel (where we got new rooms and new breakfast coupons) so i had to buy a new one. Otherwise genna. So i bought loads of polo and ate them at a very rapid rate..... Here's the realli long part which I was planning to save until tomorrow....but while i can be on the com i will write out as much as i can. I knew the a's were having a party tonite. And jolly well they invited zachary and kept me out of it. Not surprising. I guess during that time i was realli hurt and all i wanted to do more than anything was to go to that party. I was angry and furious with God. So I prayed. "Yesterday was bad enough god..why are u making me suffer. Can I not enjoy myself? If there is truly a god, put me in that room!' So I interjected and demanded of God angrilly. Yet a miracle was about to occur. Now I had absolutely nothing to do cept go visit the gals on the (can't remember) floor. Yet I was so troubled by this matter that I forgot my room number. I had realli had it for that day. What else was there to do? So I dropped down to the 9th floor.......only to see a half naked Ievan rushing out with a towel. Then Palmer and avinash chasing after him. I sighed. Don't they know they'll disturb someone?! And it took them quie a long time to notice me too. So I decided to act and play it cool by leaning back in a very poser pose which gave them the shock of their lives. HAHAH! You guys shoulda have seen their faces. They rushed back into jun's room....when zachary and the others all noticed and STARED at me. wahahhaha Gota go guys...tomorrow! Bye!

Today so tiring sooo boring. nothing like yesterday so fantastic. Will update on that later. Sch end late. Turns out the basketball tryouts genna postponed until 3.30 pm.wah lao! So i practice...play matches...wait wait wait.... WAIT WAIT WAIT! then coach somemore show up late by 15min. So durin the tryouts so damn tired. Also I nearly nv make it. Take 3 tries! THREE TRIES! so embarassing. First try is FREE THROW. i shoot and i miss all of my shots and promptly fail. Second try is SHUTTLE RUN. I got in the lead and then i TRIP over my own shoe. Fail also. Third try is LAY UP! yea! i could have kissed God for that! Got all shots in and got into bball team. Practice so tiring so backbreaking wah lao somemore. And afterthat got to walk home 5 bus stops because miiss bus. also haven't finished homework. Life is so unfair. Mum says I have to go for a massage later this week. Next blog will be based on a gal! Quite unusual and NO...it is not jun ok. I'm not totally keen on writin bt her...maybe later. A lot later. Kinda short rite? Just remember I'm new to this. Luke Ho I sill think bt you everyday..hopin u'll come bk into my life.........

Back to henry park. I was throughly disappointed. No teacher was there. I met adrian at the kid's zone at 12.40 or so. He had dropped by to visit the scouts. We hung aroundsch for a while, went to jelita and the shops upstairs.... There was a girlsin nanyang uniform. She stared at me and yeo like we were freaks from outer space. She wasn't hernhern, so who could it be? Got clue: She appeared on tv b4. Kinda obvious who it is.
Karen. Pleez man! I wonder what the heck she was doing there. I'm not even sure whether she knows me even so I just not gonna care bt it.
Yesterday i talked to miss nice. I don't know why I felt so unstable or hurt after talking to her...it's just that something seemed to change any feelings I had then. I realli hope I'm not losing control again. I also send my apologies to wei rong and I certainly hope he is not personally offended( i'm not gonna tell u guys why). Close enough. The sec 4 gangs will probably be picking a fight again wif us so I'll be on my heels for now. If anyone is getting bullied in sch (apart from bryan, which he probably will be anyway) then maybe i can help. I will be trying my best to go back most likely on Thursday or last resort friday (but unlikely, cuz I might be meeting up wif the trio) cuz it seems more teachers will be there this time. If anyone can meet me there it'll be fine. Sometimes I wonder if any period in pri sch has made me more sensitive t ppl's feeling...and also understanding my own. I 've realized that lately it seems there is something I regret for every test i do on ppl...and a little bit of shame too. I mean...when someone tries to draw out facts or truth abt somebody there is alwyys a downside. a sort of ....something tugging at your heart and letting it hit you...you could have hurt this person's feelings if he/she knew...and lately....it seems there's been a lot of guilt. It's something everyone shld think abt b4 taking action. I mean my test on (all of u knoe who), just cuz it was sucessful doesn't mean it made me happy. I mean, sure, to find out the truth but then again, sometimes the truth can hit you harder than a lie. Anyway, for my last note I just hope u guys understand me, and all the best to your schools. God bless! Luke Ho

happy b'day nat! This is a new blog so this is more or less summary...
9 years ago....i first met natalie ng. That time i could not even pronounce her name properly. So embarassing! so i would always call her nat. Of course till today i still call her nat. It's a lot easier than natalie rite? 2 syllabus less ta be exact. I guess to me nat is special and unique in her own way....cute...can be serious and yet...at the same time can be sooo much fun and laughter. Of cuz I nv mention the irritatin and lame jokes part..or else she genna kill me. In fact....i think she might want to kill me already. OK...back to the point. I guess i really LIKE nat (do NOT misunderstand me) because she's always been there for me at any time of need...and there to support me in any thing I do...except when it's there. although what i like most about her is her honesty. Even if she knows that it would hurt my feeling especially bt u noe who...i guess that''s a very exceptional quality that everyone should have...because it's settling right and wrong. Yea ..i'm glad some o my frens have that quality too. Ok..for example...1 time in pr 4..... {{{Okay....she's in my class. Make no mistake this time. Good impression...that's priority. And do NOT blush. do not blush. Do not blush..... Oh great....just a seat behind. Concentrate....just concentrate......lesson...intro....um... I was so not watching mrs mona leong at all. In fact.. i didn't even hear what she said to bring the next day(when i got into heaps o trouble.) Ida kept nugdging my head. At least that helped my concentration. a bit... Sighz....what was I supposed to do? She looked at me and groaned. That's all I need today...... I could have cried right then and then. But nat was watching the whole thing..... Now truthfully i shouldn't have tped this cuz i don't even know what she did. But it was amazzing...at least i think so. She actually made her write a NOTE? so cool. well...actually so different. But fantastic! I wasn't realli assured by her note and so i guess i'm not writing it out. I still remember every word though. She ated me then I'm not sure whether she hates me now. Got nothing now to lose so no one should get offended. Maybe her. Ok...no more her. Jun.You know what? I don't seem to care now as much as before. Is that good or bad? I'm still going to make sure that i have tabs on different matters but nevertheless.... Okay...I am getting off again. This is about Nat. I guess another incident would be about her care after the attempted suicide and the time I nearly...well...that's later right? I can't type very fast and got tuition soon anyway...so I stop blogging for now. Maybe I'll write bt 2 days ago later. Bye! Happy b'day Nat. May all your wishes come true.

Luke Ho
15 Years Old
15/02/1992
New Town Secondary School
Basketballer

Likes

Jesus, my Lord and Saviour
Her--obviously,who else..?
Basketball
Running
Slackin
Any form of games that i am fantastic at


Detests

[x]Betrayers
[x]Liars
[x]Heartbreakers(not directing to me.)
[x]Jerks

Alex

Amanda

Bettina

Charmaine

Cynthia

Dinah

Fanny

Hannah

Hernhern

Jia Wen

Joshua

Jules

Jun Jie

Junice

Kai Yang

Leonard

Liping

Marcus P

Marcus Wee

Marion

Mrs Ang

Mr Ang

Nicolas

Nicole

Pearly

Peggy

Priscilla

Sano

Shimin

Stephie

Sulwyn

Varun

Vera

Xiang Rui

Ximin

Zeken

Class blog

6c blog!

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