The Dog Ate My Posts and Other Excuses

Remember how I was totally going to be back on board with this whole posting thing?  Yeah, that happened.

I'm here for right now, and rather than set myself up for failure, I'm just going to say that I'm posting right now, and if I happen to post again, cool.

Here's the news:

A.)  I stopped going to Weight Watchers meetings and started to lose weight, thus proving that just paying for their program but not actually attending their meetings still has some beneficial affect on your health.  (Or it could be that I'm continuing to incorporate more exercise, better fats and a wider variety of fruits and vegetables into my daily life, but I prefer my first analysis).

B.)  We started back on the TTC bandwagon for #2.  Did back-to-back dIUIs over Memorial Day Weekend (yeah, we got to the beach Friday night and had to leave Saturday afternoon in order to be back home in time for Sunday's procedure).  BFN.

C.)  We decided to skip the next cycle so that we could have an actual vacation over July 4th.  It turns out that didn't really matter as I had my shortest cycle on record, and got AF while we were on vacation.

D.)  Did our 2nd round at the end of July.  Found out this past Thursday - BFP.  (I know, way to bury the lead, huh?)   First beta: 121.  For comparison purposes, LM's first beta was 57.1.  My repeat beta (yesterday, 96 hours between) was 573.  We're due for a third beta tomorrow and based on that, they'll decide when they want to do an ultrasound.

E.)  Yes, I'm feeling sick and dizzy.  Based on my pregnancy with LM, I've got 2 weeks before all hell breaks loose.  As I told Mel, it's a good thing I was able to retain my amateur status for the Olympics, because I'd like to medal in something, even if it's just nausea.

Once More Unto the Breach and All That

I'm 35 now.  Thirty effing five.  I've been having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the change.  Some of this angst is because I'm now officially old and must admit that I will now never do some of the things I wanted to do in my life (be thin while I'm young, can't think of anything else, it must just be that).  More of the sturm und drang though comes from us getting back on the TTC bandwagon.

I made the appointment for the consultation.  It's real.  I'm actually signing up to go through all this another time.

I'm out of practice here -- there's so much going on in my head and I'm finding it difficult to articulate.  Hopefully, I'll be less rusty as I keep posting.  I would like to keep a record of this time -- not for my child(ren, hopefully) to read later, but more for myself -- to have it memorialized that I was here, I went through this, I wanted this.

I am in a better space to be starting a new IF journey.  I've lost a lot of weight since we first started trying.  Thanks to hyperemesis during the pregnancy and gallstones afterwards, I lost 70 pounds all tolled.  Of course, once my gall bladder came out, I started eating and eating and eating.  I'm still down 25 lbs though and I'm doing Weight Watchers to inculcate those healthy eating and exercise habits again.

We're also in a new (to us) house, in a new (to JD, but home to me) state.  Yay Maryland!!  It's lovely to be back on this side of the river.  I've got a 10 minute commute and it's just lover-ly.  Sure, our home has been invaded by packing boxes which multiply like Gremlins, but otherwise, I'm really happy with the house.

We'll see where we go from here, eh?

Quo Vadis

Yesterday, JD and I met with the RE for our Quo Vadis meeting, aka "What's Next, Doc?"  My feelings on are all over the place.  I feel sad that we're even in this position (i.e., infertility in general and, specifically, about to embark on dIUI #6).  I feel angry that it's taking so long.  I feel positive that my doc is responding to us and our concerns.  I feel frustrated with my inability to stay away from gluten.  I feel embarassed that I have such a struggle with taking my meds.  I feel happy that I have rocked my Wii Fit Plus every day since we set it up (see my other blog for more details).

I told the doc that, given our record (5 dIUIs (3 with Prometrium), 1 miscarriage, 0 take home babies)  my hope level for this upcoming IUI is pretty low.  My unfulfilled due date is coming up in mid-February and I'm feeling increasingly anxious about it.  I'm ready to move to the next level.

From a completely biased position, it seems like my doc would like me to do unmedicated dIUIs from here to kingdom come.  (Those were probably not his exact words).  Really, he thinks that we should keep doing what we're doing for a little while more, but he was aware that we were not going to want to hear that.  My response was to semi-joke, "No, I want to hear what you would do, then I want to ignore that and do what I want to do."

His proposal was to do two more unmedicated cycles after #6 and then add meds, probably Clomid.  The idea of the meds would be to get my body to release more than one egg at ovulation, providing more targets for the sperm, thus increasing the odds of getting at least one baby out of this.  Of course, increasing the number of eggs also increases the chance of multiples, which JD wanted to discuss back, forth and sideways, but my feeling is that we should wait to cross that bridge if and when we get to it.

My compromise was to do #6 and #7 unmedicated, then maybe go for medicated cycles or another unmedicated round, depending on my thoughts then.

I'll start the OPKs tomorrow for Cycle #6.  Our power song for this cycle: "You're Gonna Go Far Kid" by The Offspring (off my CAPS playlist).  Our inspirational song for this cycle: "Defying Gravity" from Wicked, as adapted by Glee.

Comme Ci, Comme Ca

Nothing much going on here. Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still here and doing OK.

JD is also doing OK. A month into his new job, he's concerned that he doesn't really know what he's doing (the code is something that he's not familiar with), but he does think it's cool that he got paid to watch Mission Control launch Atlantis.

Yesterday, my friend, BB, and I went to Hockey 'n' Heels, a Caps event for women. It was awesome! We got to go out on the Caps' practice ice with some players and try to score a goal, win a faceoff, and learn stickhandling. Then, we got to try on some equipment (pads and gloves and helmets, oh my), we spoke to 2 TV analysts, then we got time with Bruuuuce "Gabby" Boudreau, the head coach, who taught us about prescouting teams with game films. Will show pics as soon as BB sends them to me.

I'll be cooking and freezing some detox-allowed food for Thanksgiving this weekend. I'm planning to make: quinoa with dried fruits and nuts, whipped/mashed sweet potatoes with pumpkin and a butternut squash-brown rice pasta bake. I'll let you know how those turn out and provide recipes after the weekend.

In TTC news, I'm just waiting around for the ovulation thang, so we can get going with IUI #4, also known as There's No Place Like Nausea-town for the Holidays.

Yoga for Fertility Retreat - DC Area

Hi all! Just wanted to put in a plug for a Yoga for Fertility Retreat taught by my yoga teacher!
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Join us for this day long retreat into the healing power of Yoga for Fertility...
Yoga for Fertility Retreat
Sunday, December 6th 8 AM-4 PM
Pulling Down the Moon -- Rockville, MD

Join Pulling Down the Moon Instructor Sara Shelley for a day long retreat exploring the healing power of yoga for fertility. At this unique event you will learn the program that literally thousands of women have used to help them get pregnant since 2002. At this retreat you will learn:

Asana - a specific yoga posture practice to increase blood flow, reduce tension and detoxify body tissues.

Pranayama - yoga breathing techniques to manage stress and improve the overall vitality of your body and mind.

Meditation - an in-depth exploration of the "yoga way" of coping with negative thoughts and emotions.

In addition, we will explore teachings from yoga philosophy that will help you frame the fertility journey in a manner that reveals your personal strengths, reinforces the joy of everyday life and empowers you to create the family you're meant to have. Through this experience you will also join the positive, healing community of Pulling Down the Moon and enjoy the community of the amazing women who use our programs.

PDtM Yoga for Fertility is appropriate for any level, any stage of the fertility journey, during medicated or natural cycles, and is unlike any other yoga experience. Register online or call 301-610-7755 for more information.

**Retreat Participants can take an advantage of a 20% discount for our services (yoga, massage, nutrition, acupuncture), when they schedule their appointment for December 5th or 6th.**

When: Sunday, December 6, 2009. 8 AM - 4 PM

Where: Pulling Down the Moon, 15001 Shady Grove Road, Suite 210, Rockville, MD 20850

Details: $150 covers the cost of the one-day workshop, a light lunch, and PDtM's DVD Yoga Practices for Fertility.
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If interested, please sign up and please tell your fellow IF sisters about the retreat!!

In Which I Drink Chalky Liquids

For the past couple of months, my weight has been yo-yo'ing up and down -- I gain a lot during the 2WW and then have to lose it all before the next cycle. In order to get past that, I'm going to try something new. Well, I've done it before, but this time it's sort of different.

Anyways, remember how I started seeing a nutritionist for fertility and did a detox diet and lost about 25 pounds earlier of this year? Well, my nutritionist moved and I had completed the detox and then I started cycling, so I was just eating like normal (normal for me, not normal for average humans). Guess what? I gained weight. duh. Then, we got pregnant, had a miscarriage, waited to cycle again, yada, yada, yada. I went low carb for the few weeks before the next IUI, then would gain the wait back, then lose, etc., etc.

So, I'm trying to get off that train. There's a new nutritionist in town (read: my integrative care for fertility place) and I'm starting a new and improved, fertility-friendly detox with her. "Fertility-friendly" in that you can be on this while cycling, even while pregnant.

It's a lot of cutting out of bad foods and incorporating good foods and drinking supplements and downing vitamins.

What I'm On:
-My standard happy pills (1/day)
-Prenatals (6 horse pills/day)
-Vitamin D (2/day)
-Probiotics (1/day)
-Chalky Liquid shake #1 (Nutritional Support for Healthy Body Composition) (2/day)
-Chalky Liquid shake #2 (Organic Superfruits and Greens dietary supplement) (1/day)

Food I Can Eat:
-All fruits and vegetables
-All beans and legumes (except soy)
-Rice, oats, quinoa, amaranth, teff, buckwheat
-Lean proteins (chicken, fish, lamb, turkey, small amounts of lean red meat)
-Healthy oils (olive, flaxseed, sesame, almond, pumpkin, etc.)
-Condiments (vegetable salt, sea salt, vinegar, tamari, herbs & spices, brown rice syrup, fruit sweetener, stevia, limited amounts of honey)
-Herbal tea, non-caffeinated tea, green tea
-Water, unsweetened juice

Foods I Am Not Eating:
-Caffeine
-Sugar
-Wheat & Gluten
-Dairy
-Eggs
-Beef
-Soy
-Standard Bad Foods (anything fried, processed or fried & processed)

Donor Insemination Research Project

H/t to Somewhat Ordinary (she has a private blog) for the idea.

Recently, Mel posted in the LFCA about a donor insemination research project. In case you missed the blurb, I'll repost it here.

This is "a research project examining the way in which the Internet is used to facilitate donor insemination; to negotiate access to donor sperm, to establish kinship ties or as a support network, for example. The experiences of anyone invested in sperm donation are sought: this could be women/couples who have been recipients of donor sperm, children from donor sperm or the sperm donors themselves."

I recently contacted the researcher and she told me that she would be looking to start the research soon, but wanted to make sure that she had enough participants.

If you have used or are using donor insemination to help build your family, I encourage all of you to please contact the researcher here. I'm hoping that we can get a large number of DI bloggers to participate.

WFMW: Fertility Help

I have always been a tea drinker, but never got into herbal teas until we started struggling with infertility. Now, I try to incorporate various blends to help with my overall health and fertility. I use ARTeas (assisted reproductive technology teas) from my integrative care center and I believe you can buy them on their website.

During my current two week wait, I'll be drinking an Implantation blend. Here's what's in it:

Lemon Citrus - for flavor
Wild Yam Root - Supports liver and balances hormones
Skullcap - Supports heart and essence; calms the mind
Chamomile - Calms nervousness; good digestive aid; anti-inflammatory
Red Raspberries - Good uterine tonic
Black Haw - Uterine tonic; may help in preventing miscarriage
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Need ovulation predictor kits or pregnancy tests? You can get 10 for FREE from this website! (Hat tip to Hillary from Making Me Mom for passing on this offer.)

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Want to see more helpful hints and tips? Check out the What Works for Me Wednesday blog carnival this week and every week at We Are THAT Family.

Good News

John Dear has a JOB!

He'll be starting next Monday, doing the computer contracting that he used to do, only this time with a Pigs In Space vibe, as opposed to the Secret Squirrels vibe that he had concentrated on. We're both sooooo excited! Hooray!

I'm hoping that doing good things for ourselves (exercise, eating good, pain management, prayer, etc.) is helping us to turn things around and bring good things into our lives.

Oh, and dIUI #3 is on for tomorrow and Sunday. I've got my lucky socks, jewelry and acupuncture all lined up. Let's do it!

Due to the vagaries of scheduling, our "follow up" with the RE is for Monday. What are we going to discuss? I'd just like to know what the plan is if Project Insemination - Season 3 is not a success.

Still Waiting

Got back late last night from a relaxing weekend at the beach. We spent all day at the beach on Saturday and even went into the water. It was so cold, but very little waves. JD and I both did a lot of reading and each of us finished one book and we also finished the audiobook that we had been listening to.

My sister brought her new boyfriend along, and I was excited to meet him. He was really nice and very funny. They made dinner for us on Saturday night and the food (burgers and corn on the grill) was fantastic! She was smiling the whole time that she was around him and I am very happy for her.

Still waiting for my period so we can get on this roller coaster again. This waiting-in-line ride stinks. The good thing about it not coming earlier is that now I don't have to worry that I'll be ovulating while on vacation. I'm just trying to use this time to take care of myself: eat healthfully, exercise on a daily basis and get plenty of sleep.

Stockpile

Amidst the negative things going on in our world (JD got a ticket yesterday for driving the wrong way down a one-way street (he was mixed up from a detour and got lost), and today he hit a car while he was backing up out of a parking space (everyone is fine, just cosmetic damage to the other guy's car)), some good things are actually going on.

I've been concerned about the number of vials of donor s.pe.rm that we have stored up. This concern has only increased with the miscarriage. DS is a commodity and our donor is a very, very hot commodity. Since we do back-to-back IUIs, we'll use 2 vials in every cycle, successful or not. When you would like more than 1 kid and don't know how many cycles it will take to get those kids, you want to store as many vials as you possibly can.

Today, we got a call from the bank that they were offering 5 (!) vials of our preferred type (they come in 3 types: ICI, IUI and IVF; our clinic prefers ICI, i.e., unwashed samples). That's the most they've ever offered us and I'm so excited! Luckily and gratefully, we were able to buy them all.*

We now have 10 vials in our stockpile and I feel like this is a good number to have. That with 10 vials, I can relax and trust that JD and I will be able to have the family that we've dreamed of for so long.


*Our bank offers a buyback provision of 50% back for vials that haven't left their storage facility. So, if we ultimately decide not to use some of the vials, we won't be out for all the money we paid.

Leaves & Twigs

Drifting ever more towards the crunchy side of things, I decided to buy one of the herbal tea formulas sold by my alternative fertility therapy place. Since I'm trying to get my cycle to come, I chose the appropriately named formula, Cleanse.

Suggested use: Use before or between cycles, or after a failed cycle.

What it's got:

Chamomile: Calms nervousness. Good digestive aid. Anti-inflammatory.

Milk Thistle Seeds: Liver and gall bladder support. Aids in the elimination of toxins.

Dandelion Root: Gentle diuretic. Liver, gall bladder and blood purifier.

Peppermint: Aids digestion. Anti-spasmodic. Expectorant and decongestant.

Organic Red Clover: Blood and liver purifier. Improves circulation.

Chrysanthemum: Clears and calms liver.

Lemon peel: flavoring.

I've had this tea before after acupuncture sessions, and I like it. To me, the chamomile flavor is pretty strong, but the peppermint gives it a nice bite.

I figure I'm theeees close to growing dreads, donning a hemp-fiber dress, Birkenstocks and naming myself "Moonglow."

Holy Fucking Hell

Got a call from the Big Doc himself.

Beta is positive.

40.8

Good? Bad?

The Big Doc says, "I'm a greedy man; I always want it higher, but I'll take what I can get."

We'll see on Wednesday; that's the second beta.

Test 1 - BFN

I had a strong feeling not to test this morning, and just should have listened to my instincts. But I thought that first-morning pee was the strongest so I just went ahead and tested.

It could just be early days; it could be the dollar-store tests that expired last month; it could be a lot of things.

I'm going to ask for monitoring and prometrium next cycle. Should have been more insistent this cycle.

Still nauseated, still all of the symptoms I listed on Friday, still no period.

I dreamed of how I would tell JD and put that plan into action. I tempted fate. Fate's a b*tch.

We have so many things not going for us in our life; can't we just have this? Can't I just have this?

Is this G-D telling me to leave JD? Pretty much everyone else has. Why not G-D?

I can't do anything to hurt myself until I take a shower and eat some breakfast. By then, I'll be too depressed to hurt myself.

I hate this.

Not Yet

I am continuing to battle the forces of darkness and not google pregnancy symptoms (even though Chez Perky said it was OK and my right as an infertile). I'm also successfully resisting the siren's call of home pregnancy tests (especially since I've only got dollar store ones at home which are not the nice digital ones that answer my question with a word as opposed to shading a line).

Really wanna know what I'm feeling? I mean, physically? If you don't, stop now.


I mean it.


Really.


Cause it's TMI Time.


Last chance.


The following are a list of the continuing symptoms that I've been experiencing over the past week or so:

Mood Swings

Anxiety

Nausea

Dizziness

Heartburn

Back Pain

Gas

Constipation

Fatigue

Sore Boobage

The emotionalness and nausea are my common symptoms for everything. All the other symptoms are new, or at least, not usual for me. I've never experienced the last one, so I had no idea what other people were talking about when they said they had it. They hurt, man!

Anticipated CD 1 is tomorrow. Beta is Monday. Going to try and hold out on P'ingOAS until Sunday. It's all about the TP Tango now.

Sleepless

So, everything went well for dIUI - part I. I wore all my lucky jewelry (earrings from JD for our 1st anniversary, necklace from parents, bracelet from LorzaRN, fuzzy socks from KateDaphne). JD held my hand and put his other hand on my forehead; he was so supportive.

The procedure was really quick. Walk in, make sure all the numbers match, sign the form, lie back, you're done. They had me stay laying down for 5 minutes. Afterwards, we walked across the hall to my acupuncture appointment and I just tried to relax and visualize my body as a peaceful and comforting location, one where sperm could meet egg and settle down a while.

I had some cramping for most of the day. Nothing painful, just uncomfortable. I pretty much just rested all day while JD took care of me.

We both had trouble sleeping last night. I was able to sleep for a few hours but once I woke up, couldn't get back to sleep. When I gave it up as a bad job, JD went in to sleep for a few hours. I'll go out soon, taking The Boy for his walk and getting us some breakfast.

The second IUI is later this morning. I'm glad that I have Monday off since, if I go by yesterday, I won't be getting any tasks other than reading done today.
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Doubling up on comments, since I was unable to leave comments yesterday --

Where I Commented Today:

Misadventures of a Homeschooling Family

Were You Looking for Me

Here We Go Again

Subfertile Myrtle and the Temple of Womb

The Pitter-Patter

I Never Thought It Made Sense Anyway

No Swimmers in the Tubes, No Bun in the Oven

Our Family Beginnings

Positively Organic

Life in the White House

I Returned a Comment to:

Run Amok Amok

Conceive This!

Ongoing (also, ICLW May Day 2)

Time to tell you interwebs of all the BIG MAJOR THINGS going on at Chez Jendeis.

1. Donor #1 is available!! We got the call last Thursday that they were releasing two types of vials (ICI - unwashed and our clinic's preferred; IUI - washed and acceptable) for our donor. I told John Dear that if my Caps had to lose Game 7 (last Wednesday) in order for Donor #1 to be available, that I was OK with that outcome.

2. Since time is/was a factor and the vials HAD to be ordered on Friday (in order for them to get to our clinic within the allotted time frame), John Dear and I woke up at sparrow's fart on Friday (thanks to Sam for this fabulous description) to get the ID Consent Form signed, notarized and hand-delivered to the bank.

3. Since I'm the patient, JD was not allowed to order the vials. That means that I had to call on my cell phone from my sister's doctoral graduation. Yeah, I ordered 5 vials of sperm (2 to clinic; 3 for storage) while standing on a DC street with a couple hundred people crowded around trying to get into an air-conditioned auditorium. Thank G-D the people at my bank are so professional - they know how to talk to you so that you don't say anything you wouldn't want others to hear.

4. Yay for Elle! She's now Dr. Elle! My sistah the doctah! Unfortunately, they didn't give her a wicked cool blue phone box, just a doctoral hood and a diploma.

5. I've been doing the Is-the-test-line-darker-than-the-control-line? squint for the past 5 days to see whether or not I've ovulated. Got the dark line today and just called my nurse. I don't think I sounded crazier than I usually do. I'm pretty sure all my calls to her are at the same level of "Dayum, that girl be kuh-rrrrrr-aaaaa-zeee!"

6. I've been having a healthy breakfast every day the last two weeks. This good-for-me meal usually consists of tea with milk and less-than-a-teaspoon of sugar (down from one heaping teaspoon) and Greek yogurt with fruit and nuts.

7. Was planning on going to the farmer's market tomorrow to try and pick up some good milk and yogurt from happy cows. I'd also like to get some berries, some asparagus and some more of the delicious spring onions I got last time.

8. Not sure if I'll be able to make it to the farmer's market though -- it depends on when my nurse schedules the IUIs. We're doing two - should be one Saturday and one Sunday. No trip to the beach for moi this Memorial Day Weekend, but hopefully, there will be a better payoff.

And now, for something completely different.

Where I've Commented Today:

Flotsam

Making Me Mom

The Angry Infertile

Cooking During Stolen Moments

Food Renegade

I Returned a Comment to:

Our Surrogacy Adventure

Two Years

It's been two years since we started trying. Two interminably long years. I never thought it would take this long. Don't know why I never thought it would take a long time, I mean, we knew there were issues in that area, but we both thought maybe it'll take as long as four months and away we go.

It's been two years and we're just getting our first real chance to have a baby. I'd love to believe that this is gonna work this cycle, but I've been reading blogs for too long. Maybe I'm kidding myself. It's like I'm two different people: one who's a total believer and one who's an incredible cynic. I want to be the believer, but only if it works. That cynical enough for you?

Been nauseated all day; for me, that means that ovulation is about a week off. Right on schedule. Bought the Answer OPKs and will start using those on Sunday.

I want this so desperately. Please G-D, let this work.

Oh, and G-D? The CAPS are playing tonight in Game 7 and they could sure use your help, so, um, anything you can do there would be appreciated.

How to Choose a Donor

Here for IComLeavWe? Want to learn some background? Please check out my About Me tab at the top or see my Intro post.

I've received questions and interest from several people regarding how John Dear and I went about choosing our sperm donor, so I thought I'd go through some explanations and provide some tips.

Though I had visions of having to sit squeezed with JD into a tiny, dreary medical office, flipping through binders of donor characteristics, all the while hearing snippets of porno music from the room next door, choosing a donor is NOTHING like that. Or at least, it wasn't for us.

In fact, the largest sperm banks in the US have online search engines with all of their available donors characteristics catalogued for free. You can get more information about donors, even purchase vials of sperm, online.

DEVELOPING CRITERIA
Once you have decided to go forward using an unknown sperm donor (from a bank as opposed to from someone you know), start thinking about and discussing your Must Haves, Must Not Haves and Would Likes.

• Physical Characteristics
For us, I wanted to choose a donor who looked similar to JD, because I wanted our baby to look like s/he could have been our genetic child.

Some sperm banks will do photo-matching for a fee, determining which donor (in the whole bank or from a chosen group) most closely resembles your partner or your chosen characteristics.

I also wanted the donor to have some height on him, because my family is pretty tall (at 5'6", I'm the shortest) and because, at almost 5'8", JD always wished that he was taller.

• Blood Type
I wanted the donor to be my blood type or JD's blood type so that at least one of us would be able to give the kid blood if they (G-D forbid) ever needed it.

Additionally, since JD and I are both Rh+, I wanted to find a donor who was also positive, thereby avoiding any possible complications or the need for Rhogam shots.

• Ethnicity
JD was adamant that the donor be of Jewish ethnicity. I didn't care about this aspect as our child will be Jewish because their mother (me) is Jewish and because they will be raised as Jews. The donor's ethnicity, however, was one of the only things that JD felt really strongly about, and it did not dramatically lower our number of donors from which to choose, so I went along with it.

I imagine that if you are looking for something really specific, it might be hard to field a larger sample or you might be left with only one donor who has other characteristics that you don't want.

• Other Characteristics
My mother said that we should find a donor who played tennis. Um, yeah, Mom, that's our first priority. Of course, after we went through all our own criteria and chose the donor that worked for us, the donor that we picked wound up being a tennis player. Maybe this means I should listen to my mother more often. :)

MEDICAL HISTORY
This is one of the big ones, and because we were choosing to use donor sperm due to genetic considerations, JD and I spent most of our time discussing this category.

A lot of the medical history part can be "Duh, we don't want that," but when you get down to the nitty-gritty details, you need to think about and discuss what you might be willing to accept in a donor's medical history. For example, we were willing to accept someone with a history of late adult-onset diabetes. So, if the donor's grandmother was diagnosed with diabetes in her 70s, we were fine with that.

You will need, however, to consider more than just the common "old age" diseases. What about glasses or contacts? Are you OK with someone who is allergic to pollen or dust or penicillin?

JD and I had discussions about these somewhat picayune details as I was narrowing down the list. I think that it would have served as more of a hindrance to me if I had to consider these issues while making my initial cuts.

ID CONSENT & PREGNANCY TRACKING
Many sperm banks now have programs that allow children conceived with the help of donor sperm to find out their donor's name and contact information once the child has turned 18. Each bank's program is different, so make sure to check with your bank if this is something that you want.

JD and I decided that we would like to have an ID Consent donor, but that it wasn't imperative. Following the advice of a fellow blogger, JD and I decided that once our child was born, we'd purchase the available information for their donor (photos, medical histories, etc.) so that the child could have the information when they were younger if they so chose.

Reputable sperm banks strictly track the amount of children born from a donor (both on a total basis and on a geographical basis), so please follow your bank's instructions for registering your child's birth.

Some banks set up donor sibling registries so that children of the same donor (and their parents) can meet and/or stay in contact. Please inquire about this program with your chosen bank.

DONOR ESSAYS & STAFF IMPRESSIONS
Many banks offer donor's responses to essay questions, as well as impressions of the staff on each donor. I liked these offerings initially, but didn't really use them as a selection tool.

I do think that the essays and staff impressions helped both JD and I get comfortable with the idea of using donor sperm in general. These help you to see that the donors are actual people with lives, i.e., the donors are more than just their assembled genetics.

To be blunt, I felt better when I read the essay responses and staff impressions because I didn't want our donor to be a douchebag. I wanted him to be someone that we both would/could have been friends with, if we met in real life.

NARROWING THE LIST
So, you've got your list of things to look for. Put that into the search engine and let 'her rip. The search engine will come back with a list of donors that match or somewhat match the characteristics that you've plugged in. You'll be able to narrow these results down to a list of favorites.

Many banks allow you to bookmark or create a list of favorite donors from your search. Others allow you to save your search characteristics so you don't need to enter the same info in every time you look.

Once I had narrowed down our selection to about 10 possible donors, I then made a spreadsheet so that I could look at all of the donors' characteristics side-by-side. Our bank only allowed you to compare physical characteristics in that way, but I wanted to be able to compare medical histories as well.

JD and I sat down with cups of tea (our version of wine) and went through the donors one by one. Once we'd narrowed down the list several more times, we came up with our donor.

That's it! If you have any questions or if you'd like me to explain something further, just ask me in the comments or shoot me an email.

ICLW - April - The Intro Post

Hello, internets! I'm excited to kick off another edition of International Comment Leaving Week! Welcome everybody!

For those who are new to the crazy, my husband (John Dear, aka JD) and I have been TTC for almost 3 years. With a diagnosis of very low motility and some genetic considerations, we've decided to go forward using donor sperm.

Last week, we were cleared by the RE and LCSW, all that was left was to pick the donor. We picked him!! I'll be doing a separate post this week on our process of choosing a donor (it did not involve the flipping of coins nor did it come down to a round robin tournament of rock, paper, scissors), so if you're interested, check back later this week.

SO, I guess all we're waiting for is CD1 and then we're actually going to have a shot at getting pregnant! I'm bouncing up and down with excitement! Yay!
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I'm also a huge Washington Capitals hockey fan, so I must give a shout out to my boys in red (well, white when they're away). Go CAPS!! While I have to settle for having naughty meditative visions of Alex Ovechkin during my yoga nidra class, my sister saw him for real this weekend while she was out and about. So cool!