Blade Runner 2049 spoiler free review

I fell asleep.  In the theater, at 1pm, after a full nights sleep, I fell asleep.  I have watched and enjoyed the original film.  The original film was visually stunning and the first movie representation of cyberpunk that was ever filmed. 

This movie was also very beautiful.  Vast colorful landscapes of ruined cities or a metropolis. 

I woke up, the music was loud and I feel it was meant to be unsettling. So when I fell asleep, I didn't stay asleep long before I was jolted awake.  But I would eventually start to doze again.  Maybe they did that on purpose.  In test screenings people had to have been drifting off and the director just had the sound engineers pump up the volume in certain spots to get people paying attention again.

The story just wasn't captivating.  Every aspect of it has been done before in a more fluid and coherent fashion.  The visuals themselves aren't even groundbreaking, sure it is a beautiful movie but is that any different than Interstellar, Oblivion, After Earth (shudder).  Without a compelling narrative, pretty isn't enough.  I understood Ks motivations, but not the motivations of others that set him on his path.  We are told that new replicants are needed in large numbers and a new way has to be devised to produce them more quickly almost in the same breath as the character orders replicants killed.  The twist was obvious to me, not the reveal, but the twist. 

Overall, this movie makes the ultimate movie sin.  It is boring.  It might be an amazing film, but I am not a film person.  I like movies.  As a movie I enjoyed the Netflix original The Babysitter, that I had just watched prior to going to the theater, much more than Blade Runner.  I realize they are different genres, but one entertained while the other put me to sleep. 

Kids probably won't like it and it has sex scenes and shows bewbs.  scfi violence.  

Chernobyl Diaries (2012)

I have been aware of this movie for some time but haven't got around to seeing it until now.  Part of that is because the previews made it look like a found footage type movie, and I am really tired of those.  Good news; it isn't a found footage movie.  Bad news; It might as well be as it is a single camera that bounces around all the time and you don't get a clear shot of the monster until the end. 

The plot is about some extreme tourists that take a tour of Pripyat, Ukraine, the site of the Chernobyl reactor meltdown in 1986.  Of course things go wrong and our tourists are stranded there. 

The acting isn't all that great, the Australian guy was probably the best out of the bunch. I don't think the writing was all that great either, though.  The dialogue between the brothers didn't feel natural.  The characters continually make the most idiotic mistakes.  There didn't seem to be a payoff of character development, revelation, or redemption.

Take this one or leave it.  It isn't very scary and is horribly shot, directed, written, and acted.  You can watch it, just don't pay money to do so.   

X Game (2010)

No it isn't a movie about fliping motorcycles or spinning on skateboards.  X Game is a story of bullying and revenge.  The movie has some okay Gore, it isn't quite over the top like Tokyo Gore Police or Machine Girl.  It wasn't a bad movie and it kept my attention, but it is hardly a memorable movie.  Psychological horror fans should enjoy this. 

The Human Centipede(2009)-Movie Review

Have you ever heard so many people say that a movie is disgusting and a waste of film that you had to check it out for yourself.  That is pretty much what happened with the Human Centipede and me.

Even some horror bloggers didn't care for this one.  It falls into the torture porn genre, I guess.  I personally see it as a mad scientist type movie as the good Dr's purpose was not to torture but to experiment.

If you haven't heard about this movie, the plot is basically that a mad scientist want to join three people mouth to anus to form a human centipede.  That is pretty much the entire movie.  I guess the torture porn label is kind of apt as the soundtrack is overwhelmed by whimpering, screaming, and sobbing for the most part.

The acting was okay.  It was a low budget film, but all most of the actors had to do was scream and cry.  Not a lot of depth needed.  Dieter was sufficiently creepy.  The girls may get some more scream time in other movies as they are attractive and proved that they are capable.

Overall, it wasn't a great movie, but it wasn't as bad as what everyone led me to believe.  I wouldn't say I enjoyed the movie, but I didn't not enjoy it either.  It was suspenseful and creepy which is what I wanted it to be.  I don't know if saw fans will like it as their is no elaborate contraptions or schemes.  Not sure about Hostel fans either as it isn't really a torture flick.  I would say the best match would be those that like weird Japanese movies.

The second movie is out and I am pretty sure that they upped the weird as it has been banned in the UK.