Confession

Every year, Penny's school has a number of contests and I always rail a bit about how parents get a little too involved in creating their kids' supposed submissions. One such event is the one hundred days hat. All the kids have to make some sort of hat with one hundred things on it. Most of the hats are big hats purchased at the store and the parent or kid chooses one hundred of something that the parent hot glues to the hat. They then parade around the school and some sort of judging occurs.

Penny's first hat - she wanted hearts, so we cut out 100 paper hearts and I mounted them on pipe cleaners that emerged from the holes of Paul's green baseball cap (that way he'd get to have his hat back). Year two: Penny wanted flamingoes, so I cut a paper plate with flamingoes facing each other and forming a heart, then she covered it with 100 sequins. Perhaps a little too cheap looking.

This year, she decided pennies. Heavy. My first thought was Chinese crowns - golden, covered in flowers or other designs that have lots of little disks. I showed Penny, sketched a phoenix hat with a fanned tail...no interest. I did a little more digging in the photos and came across some peacock shaped crowns. I tried a new sketch  on Penny and it was well received.

I cut out a cereal box to form the backbone of the hat, gave Penny a stack of Christmas paper to choose from for providing her hat with basic background colors. I traced, she cut out and glued. I counted out 100 pennies from Paul's piggy bank (replaced by quarters), then set them in some vinegar to shine them up a bit since many were collected on our walks to school. Once they were dry, Penny began the arduous task of gluing on all her pennies with our bottle of Elmer's. When we found the form was too small to fit the 100 needed, I devised some pipe cleaner add-ons (using scraps from prior year's hat). I used beads from the playground for head bobbles, She placed jewels from other craft kits for face and decorations, then used some hole punches I'd made to put the eyes on all the peacock's spots, and voila, a 100 days hat to be proud of. Total project price: $1 (or however many pennies would get lost over the course of the parade).

The morning of the parade, we had just finished up gluing the last batch of pennies (had to do batches for the band because one side would slide off depending on which side was up). I asked Penny to pose with the hat on because we had discovered that pennies popped off every time the cardboard bent to fit her head, so this would be the only opportunity to see it intact. She went to pose and my other little hams tried to muscle their ways into the picture. This blurry shot was all I could get as they moved around trying to get the best position in the picture. Sadly, Penny tilted her head to dodge Paul, dropping the hat to the floor. Instantly, dozens of pennies shot in every direction and there was only one hour until Penny had to be at school.

I lost it on her. After all the work I had put into this hat, she had completely destroyed it at the eleventh hour. How was I going to fix it in time for school? Elmer's glue takes time to dry and I don't have a glue gun or other method I could whip out at this late juncture. I tore into her about how stupid it was to dump her hat like that when she knew it was so hard to balance. She was soon in tears. I continued to grumble as I hurriedly glued all the pennies and blue dots back into place. I carefully placed the hat out of reach on the counter, then dashed to get everyone ready to head out the door to do school drop off. First, we took Paul to school, then came back to the house in hopes that 30 minutes was enough time for the glue to at least keep things in place enough to be transportable. I gently placed the hat in a stiff bag for transit and then dropped Penny off with explicit instructions to handle with care until parade time so the glue could set properly.

For the entire rest of the day, I ruminated on how I had completely ruined what should have been a fun activity for my daughter by tearing into her and making her feel awful about her hat. She takes this kind of thing to heart, so I felt really bad about hurting her feelings. I had gotten so bent out of shape because I was offended that she hurt MY artwork. I was guilty of that sin I so often condemn in others. As soon as I picked her up from school, I apologized for how I had acted in the morning. She, of course, forgave me because she's awesome like that. She also handed me a bag with the hat and a pile of loose change rattling around in the bottom. She was excited to have found a nickel that day because she was pretty sure she lost some of the pennies.

When asked how her day went, she said the hat was nearly impossible to wear because of the weight and the fact that it was SO front-heavy. Her teacher really liked her hat. Apparently, the teacher pointed out her hat specifically whenever they passed another adult during the parade. I wouldn't exactly describe her tone as excited as she mentioned this, but it seemed like she was at least pleased that her teacher had taken an interest in her hat. I asked Penny whose hat she liked best and she cited one of her friends, whose mom had hot-glued 100 particularly cute little chickies to her hat. A few days later, Penny said that there was an announcement about the 100 days hats, listing three winners from each grade and all three winners for first grade were in her class (the contest is for pre-K to 2nd grades, but there are 5 first grades classes, each with 30 kids, so still a pretty stiff competition). She was proud to tell me that hers was one of the names that was announced and she got this spiffy certificate as well. She seemed a little more pleased about the public recognition of her hat, though I'm not sure she totally sees it as "her" hat. I felt pretty darned excited that someone thought the hat was cool. I was pretty proud of the process and ingenuity of the hat. I obviously still need to work more on giving Penny a say in how it is put together and giving her more ownership over the project, though.

I haven't decided what to do with the hat. Though I am darned proud of its construction, I am also ashamed about how I behaved about it. So far, it sits in tatters on the counter, little glue spots indicating where its fine feathers once stood. The certificate hangs on the fridge with artworks whose authors are more clearly delineated. Perhaps I will leave it a bit longer to remind myself to let the kids have more say in how they put together their projects. It seems like such a fine line sometimes, so it is good to be reminded to be aware of that line.