Monday, February 27, 2006
lost child stumbling along. [11:47 PM]
Sunday, February 12, 2006
13 Feb 2006.
Eve of his maiden flight.
13 Feb 2005.
The day she flew.
12 Feb 2006. 15th Day of CNY. Yuan Xiao Jie aka the Chinese Valentine's day.
14 Feb 2006. The Day GDP spikes skyhigh. Valentine's day.
Haha not feeling particularly romantic couple-ly or morosely sour although this few days THERE should BY RIGHT be a mist of love potions wafting thru the air. But was piqued by curiosity to read the Sat's special on Singaporeans and their takes on romance, love and whatnot. Entertaining.
Especially when viewed after my scintillating arguments with a bunch of 4 guys about whats sooo great abt getting attached or whats the point of finding the OTHER? Of coz its as usual one vs four. Apart from comments that I have gayish tendencies, paedophilic tendencies, robotic tendencies, kiddish tendencies and other insults hahah.. i got loads of opinions, POVs and personal experiences dredged up for me.
Went over my inventory and luggage. All necessary stuff in. but feeling like missing some stuff. Think my room will be barebones as usual. I doubt i will be bringing much if any personal belongings. So far a caricature of me is in, perhaps the sets of cadet rank up til full lta is going wif me, i dunno... i dun have the burning urge to bring stuff YET, i feel something missing.
Went over my last 50 posts in archives to see how was i but a few months ago.. lol.. nothing's ever changed. I guess from eons ago until now, daniel cant change hehez. But hopefully he will learn how to be more in tune wif his heart his soul and of coz people!
last post? sniff, lol i cant remember my old layout, seems like this one was wif me forever... and to think that i will be shutting this down tomolo... haiz.. yi yi bu she. But best to start anew.
been ever more reluctant to post on the communal blog. why? i dunno.
sweet adios boys and gals, off to the sunset.
lost child stumbling along. [9:11 PM]
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Just returned from dinner at Muthu's Curry with my fellow PCs of Paladin Coy (the old batch) Old pals coming together for a dinner long overdue. Surprisingly Muthu's Curry is like Crystal Jade serving Indian fare. Not particularly spicy and good if you wanna try to gorge on Indian food. Bad for my digestion though. Nowadays my stomach CMI, must eat regular small meals. If not it goes to all sorts of nonsense that takes a few days to sort itself out.
Dinner was an excuse to chat, tease, joke and ponder on issues. It was really quite good as i got several point of views on some topics close to heart, and also got quite a bit of personal experiences thrown around.
K gtg koonz le.. its 2 in the morning. and tomolo is yet another rushed dayz.. bahz.
lost child stumbling along. [9:39 AM]
Friday, February 10, 2006
i suck at organising people events.. lol i mean i can definately get the nitty gritty details out, but i definately lack in the compartment to bring out the life of the party so to speak.. butz anyway, my aim was done.
Perhaps last time why i was a tad cool towards people and young kids are that they always remind me of my brothers. Of coz babies and young kids are cute and adorable as all can see (and moon about) but the process of bringing them up is a torturous and pain filled experience i doubt all people can see clearly. You see the smiles, i see the hard work.
and perhaps I see the guilt too. I feel it when i start treating outside people wif courtesy and perhaps more charm than at home coz at home i tend to take people for granted. I cant live with myself if i go all agaga about some kid while i am strict and demanding on my brothers at times. But thinking more thoroughly on it, i guess although me and second brother seldom talk, we are at ease with each other as after all we've seen thru 18 yrs together. Ironically, the little brother i have i am strict and at times impatient with him as i demand alot from him. In a family of all guys, communication is done mainly by games, chasing round the house, mock fighting, work, play, fights and quarrels. LoL, so we grow up all to be boyish fun loving, rowdy, goal orientated and with egos all.
But well now at least, i am trying to change on my outside front and my inside front. To be the same inside the house as outside it as Atticus Finch is. Way tuffer than it seems.
Life does seem strange that I will miss my brother's POP, A level results, my little brother's AQ race and exams... but life goes on, hardly sentimental.
Images from the past, float up and print themselves on the present... yet the soul of the past, echoes faintly in my mind. Phantoms they seem, yet phantoms come to life... if you still believe.
lost child stumbling along. [9:34 PM]
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Its kinda funny in a black humourish way how people can still make basic mistakes in communication wif people they tot they knew well. Sometimes its also strikes me how people can change under stress or frustation or other factors that make them react all too different.
but we all have our flaws and our quirks and our idiosynchronsies. Not to mention our pride our temper our mulelishness. On their own they are minor irritation but sometimes more often than not we meet people and circumstances that magnify them all so humilatingly huge...
its funny if u can rise above the red mist, take a few steps back and see if for what it seems... and the funniest part? it can be sooo easily sidestepped or avoided that i laugh at the inaneness and triviality of fate
lost child stumbling along. [6:00 AM]
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
my parents are right. I need to learn to leash my temper and curb my impatience. Its just so difficult especially at home. I flare up at the slightest delays, unnecessary changes, inefficiency.
My face would blacken, i would suck in a breath and release it in a hiss and my tone will become oh so irritated. Worse i will growl at people. lol
Life is full of minor setbacks and slow downs.. at this rate i will die of a heart attack early.
have to watch myself. danger lurks
anyway it was yet another boring day.. i think i am a work/activity junkie manz
lost child stumbling along. [7:51 AM]
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
sometimes i just feel in the mood of listening to some chill out music, invisible on msn, feeling the fan caressing my legs while i type and muse aloud... just like now.
read someone's blog recently and i was really taken back by the apparently shallowness. But while i was ready to condemn, i realised at least the blogger had been honest. that i sometimes harboured the same tots but at least had some presence of mind to restrain myself. Doesnt it make me the same?
was involved in a mass discussion on activities this week. there were obvious signs that we were all growing up growing apart. No longer so hyper, no longer so reckless, no longer so passionate. there was wisdom in the reckless and the feckless, crudity in the wise, reserved. almost that diffusion happened.. or aged.
sometimes i feel i am yet another stupid idiotic childish boy who still needs much more whipping and guidance in the world. but the irony is, i have yet to see a really mature dood around. Those who hold themselves above all, disdaining all i feel they are just unrealistic, avoiding problems rather than solving them, while others mull on trivialities.
as the days go by, i feel more and more like staying at home. Funny how different our characters are. funny how i still allow myself to be stuck in an orbit around this sun. although sometimes i feel like bored to death, i would prefer chilling at home to going out. Books keep me in my own world.
its funny how guy ties can run. its odd to women i suppose, sometimes its odd even to me. but it lasts... i dunno how but it does and i am grateful that it does.
yeah another day ends...
lost child stumbling along. [7:55 AM]
